No, Jesus, like God himself, loves all his children. He shall not smite me, for I wish no doom upon my brethren. You, however, are full of hate and anger, wishing for others to be smitten. But I am sure Jesus will forgive even someone like you.
Tretterlos LOL relax i was only joking!Well trolling actually :D (I was just kinda bored). I think this video is amazing and personally i'd rather believe in the existence of aliens than in Jesus' magical sword :)
IKR? It's like he's implying that they're either illiterate or not well-cultured to only like *A* book unless they were literally imprisoned in a hotel and that was the only book on hand 😆
@@miklo6907 well, I'd still have to respect your right to hold those beliefs, even though I do not agree with you. Or maybe you're just a troll looking for a fight.
@@BD-1-And-OnlyYou can, in fact, change your gender. We do it through surgery, certain fish do it as a response to changing environmental conditions. 'A' for effort, though!
@@BD-1-And-Only You can change your appearance and how you wish to be treated, but you CANNOT change your genetics. However, your response is pompous and harsh. Everyone has a right to do what they please with their bodies. It may be bizarre to others, but it's their life. As long as they aren't demanding to be treated like celebrities, who the fuck cares about their lives?
@@rs72098 It's normal in nature... we're not above animals, at all.... Just because there's a measure of dumb fucks that stare at the sky and say "we're being judged" doesn't make it true.. Wake up
@David Eller Guys like you are the reason they have parades. Without the oppression, there would be no pride. So I'm sure continuing to be angry about it will make it all go away.
@naim sharif No... it doesn't! Homosexuality has been observed among many species on this planet outside of humans.. That is just you waving a 2,000 year old book around and calling it fact... well, it's not. Also, that book says NOT to judge. But maybe that doesn't apply to you?... fucking stupid, all of it and so are you
The crazy thing is that they think the Bible condemns abortion but it never once condemns abortion. They like a book that they've clearly never read clear through. Silly people.
4 года назад
@@savenetneutralityanti-repu7029 That's quite the assumption.
George Carlin was hilarious - no denying that! I watched him often recreationally.... Yet, he wasn’t without quotes that kind of made me cringe, personally... Although he lampoons the concept of ‘higher authority’ with this statement - lol - It can’t be said that he had absolutely pinned the complete character, nature and personal testament of God Himself. I’ve been to Southern California private [Christian] schools - I’ve dealt with politics, behavioral inconsistencies, and treatment - I’ve seen the things on part of other that should have turned me to agnosticism or atheism... Fortunately I did some Bible studying, and critical thinking on my own and committed myself to the “truth” - Jesus was not interested in “religion”, He was interested in ‘reestablishing relationship’ between God and His image bearers - namely every human being. I have a relationship, and discipleship that is based on love, not fear or condemnation - God Himself didn’t woo me with hell threats, He did so with grace. Two things I hope for this world: (1) That all people would live by the “Mark 12:30-31 Principle” [evil wouldn’t stand a chance]. (2) That people, specifically interested in accuracy, would always consider this saying : “the source material, is usually the best material”👍🏾 Love and peace everybody!
You know I really get sick of folks quoting that old post head poser. I mean the man waited until Lenny Brice died and then just stole his act for 29 years.
@@pterodactylptroll So, you have absolutely no idea what the term "underrated" means, do you? I do not accept that you are literally this stupid, although I do not fully discount the possibility that you were dropped on your head a lot as a child or are a Liberal (which would explain much.)
@David Eller Okay, I'll meet you in the middle there. Was the original, actual, physical collection of these manuscripts that may or may not have been bound together, a book? Technically, no. You're correct. That's just a bunch of paper. Or stones, or whatever they used. But the version that is in the library, in hotels, on shelves, in the homes of a billion people, IS unquestionably and unarguably a book. It's printed by book publishers. It has pages. You read the pages. You turn the pages. It's a book. I can't believe I'm explaining the concept of the book to someone.
Skiles Fun part is the only thing that was technically argued against was it being a book. The next step over would be “Okay, so you like a particular book series (that has over time compiled itself into the format of a singular book). So does everyone else that reads.”
The problem is: You keep using the word "understanding." I do not think it means, what you think it means. Most atheists not understand the Bible still think that it's all allegory and fantasy. sleiman looked at The Iliad and odyssey as if it was a history just romanticized and found Troy. Scientists did the same thing with the Bible and found Sodom and Gomorrah, they also found David and especially Goliath. Scientists that *UNDERSTAND* that the Bible is history, are finding the places mentioned in the Bible. And finding it is a historical account of real events. Most atheist still refuse to *UNDERSTAND* that the Bible is a historical account of real places and real events.
@@HopefulPessimistJust because Harry Potter was set in England and England exists, doesn't mean that Voldemort is real. And no, they didn't find Goliath. Fantasy is fine, but when you start trying to repeat it as fact, I start to have very little time for your silliness.
@@spork8655 and that's exactly what I mean. 2016, scientists found Sodom and Gomorrah, found it was destroyed by a meteor or comet. ATHEISTS still claim story is fantasy? Bible is a historical account. *WE* don't even have the technology to warn people to get out of an area, before a meteor or comet strikes, yet these people were warned ahead of time, that the cataclysmic event couldn't be stopped. Wake up and take I'll look around and smell the toast burning... Instead of trying to pretend it's coffee. Your atheist attempt at strawmanning the issue, doesn't help. But it's what you do. just like the flat-earthers I deal with every day that ignore reality and try to fantasize their way out of it and then call the globe... fantasy. You atheists and flat earthers have so much in common, it's absolutely ridiculous.
@@HopefulPessimist Take your religious garbage somewhere else. Maybe go argue with the flat earthers you're so obsessed with, because I'm already sick of you. Go ahead and get the last word if you want, but I'm not going to read it.
it's funny how absolutely cool those movies made the avengers... but yeah, being a lifelong comci book guy... the avengers were always a bit... well, I dunno... inconsistent. lol. especially compared to the x-men and the justice league... but yeah, those movies (being as how damn good they are), we tend to forget how ridiculous that team really is. lol
@Moderate American Tell the Muslim faith to stop being bigots because they are just ignorant or for that matter the Jewish people to. My point is everyone wants to attack Christians for their faith.
And yet most liberal politicians are absolutely dedicated to NOT respecting religious beliefs, or at least those beliefs that run contrary to their political agenda. Otherwise Democrats wouldn't sound like Klansmen railing against "Papists" when ranting about conservative Catholic politicians and abortion.
@@karlnoel4519 didn't you read what i wrote, we don't have to respect your beliefs, just your right to have them. keep that shit to yourself. don't want to be attacked, don't try to force others to follow your religious rules. sounds fair to me.
A MAC Then do people have to respect other beliefs if held earnestly? Like someone identifying as a woman if born a man? Do people have a right to not respect those beliefs and address them as a Mr or a Sir? Or does not respecting beliefs only include " religious" beliefs?
M C is right. The problem begins when you start using faith as a way to come to truth, effectively as an epistemology. You can have complete faith in something and be wrong, which automatically makes it a flawed way to come to knowledge. You're starting the argument off with both an assumption and a truth claim. It's flawed from the start.
@@mikej8198 I'm forced to disagree. Religious beliefs might not be called 'insane', yet they still exhibit all the symptoms of insanity. Society has conditioned us to omit 'religion' from the broad definition of insanity. Why do we omit it? Because religion is useful to the political, economic, and social leaders of society. Religion is used to manipulate and exploit the masses - that's exactly why it was created in the first place. True, secular and religious views aren't necessarily in conflict, but watch the sparks fly if facts disagree with religious interpretation. Religion will insist THEIR interpretation override facts. For instance: Galileo discovered evidence that the earth was not the center of the universe. Religion forced him to renounce his discoveries and writings, and then imprisoned him for heresy. This, allegedly, a mercy in lieu of being put to death as many 'heretics' of that era were. And, like it or not, there are many fundamentalist religions who want to return to this sort of behavior, where THEIR INTERPRETATIONS are considered the last word on any matter, and in many cases, LAW. Witness the Islamic regimes for proof of that.
@A Dohmnail - So with a straight face, you’re telling me and @SilverMarten117 and everyone else in the world that religious objection to gay marriage has *_nothing whatsoever_* to do with your holy book? You are aware that *_nowhere_* in the Bible does it say _”marriage is between one man and one woman”_ (a claim _”Christians”_ make *_all_* the time)... it is in fact *_very_* clearly defined that marriage is between a man *_and as many wives as he can afford,_* all the while giving even more *_very_* clear directions on which servants he can schtup *_without_* marrying them. Also, did you know that the *_only_* time the Bible mentions abortion it, again, is *_very_* clear that a husband who suspects his wife of being unfaithful (considering travel time was measured in months, coming home to a pregnant wife meant she was unfaithful, except that one time Mary convinced Joseph it was _”...this mysterious invisible wizard in the sky who did it...”),_ that man should take his wife *_to the priest, who has a potion that will force her to miscarry and be forever barren..._* in other words, the *_church_* is the one *_performing the abortion !!_* Don’t get me started on how explicitly it talks about slavery... it even lists prices !!! But hey, what do I know... I’m just an atheist whose *_actually read_* the Bible cover to cover and studied religion, a claim the *_vast majority_* of those who hold it up to be the word of god *_can not make._*
our concept of marriage comes from the Bible, IT defines what's up. a man and a woman leave their parents and become one ..... and it also says that 2 men together is an abomination. sure the book is devisive, we have free will don't we? opinions are like assholes, everybody has one and no one wants to hear anyone else's. right?
This is what’s wonderful about Patton Oswalt. He’s right. We have to acknowledge other people’s beliefs, criticize those beliefs or imposed ideas, and then learn to build our own moral code or criteria based on our judgments of other people’s ideas. It’s called thinking for yourself. Oswalt is honest and funny.
@@wdcurry111 oooor, nothing in that book is accurate at all and youre just regurgitating stupid bullshit platitudes because you're too stupid to say something insightful and original.
I wonder if he would now acknowledge this idea in response to people believing they are the opposite gender they were born as. If he did he would be chased out of his friend group I would think.
@@adamplentl5588 : That book led inevitably to the modernity that scorns it. You idiots throw out the baby with the bathwater. You don't have to be a Christian to appreciate the marriage of Love and Reason that gives rise to epistemology (how we know truth) and ethics (how we know what is right). You know, MODERN thought. In a day when God's Word is being replaced by the "narrative flavor of the month" that DEFIES reason (no difference between male and female, denying that we're a sexually-reproducing species, etc), we're basically taking ourselves back to pre-modern thought, with God = Government. People have a need for bigger meaning. Religion provides that for many. And reasonable people need to call out the dogmatists, but not reject all the wisdom of the ancients because you reject the "everlasting life" hook that grew the church into a political entity. You can see the problems without telling 3/4 of humanity that they're stupid.
De-platforming and censorship are today's version of heresy and punishing heretics. And the left are totally un-self-aware of how regressive this kind of thinking is. No different from Inquisitors of the past. And blissfully unaware of their own puritanical world view. We went straight from insane Christian fundamentalists to insane social-justice warriors, with no pause.
He made so many good points. We should all just acknowledge people's beliefs but reserve the right to say "that is a load of crap" because a lot of that stuff in the bible happened in a small part of the world where as everywhere else things were not all plague death and biblical level stuff. That book has been so corrupted from what might have actually happened and it's still like a bad rumor that got way out of hand as well as for twisted so much over the years it's hard to know for sure. Love his stand up routine and I acknowledge people's beliefs because I'll admit some people would be completly lost without it. Yet don't go cramming it down the throats of people nowadays who have access to technology and science that explains a whole lot of stuff people back in those days couldn't. For all I know their could have been aliens around the time of Jesus and they brought him back from the dead instead. Still I get a good laugh from this and hope to see more of his stand up to on CDs to listen in my car
Without exaggeration, this is the most on-point comment _ever_ posted on this video. If this was your cup of tea, you ought to be following him on Twitter. Thank you for watching and leaving your thoughts.
There are a lot of situations where the presence of Sandwich Joe (the ability to feed people during a famine) would forestall the need for Resurrection Jesus (the ability to raise the starved so, what, they can resume starving). Go Sandwich Joe!
Hostile Fork: Sandwich Joe is merely one avatar of the great Flying Spaghetti Monster, who feedeth us all with his large meatballs, his perfectly-cooked pasta, and his savory sauce. May he richly touch you with his noodly appendages when he comes again to your dinner table. R'Amen!
What are so many people so concerned about vaccinations? It should NOT be mandatory. Are we actually just property of the state? Is there a people shortage?
If vaccines work then vaccinated people have no need to worry about unvaccinated people getting them sick. Bill Gates wants population reduction and to save lives. Logic is tricky, especially with hidden vs. public agendas working in the same mind. Well, not truly working.
Necromancer? Those are the bad guys. Jesus wouldn't be a necromancer, he was resurrecting the dead, not raising them as undead. Leviticus 19:31 “Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the Lord your God.” No, Jesus would be more like this: Jesus Christ, Priest 15/Risen Martyr 10 Race: Godling (Humanoid) with Half-Celestial template Base Class: Priest (Cleric variant) Prestige Class: Risen Martyr He's taken the following feats: Endure Torture Leadership Suffering Transmute Food
@@cindys9491 too bad. Considering he can resurrect himself, he'd make an interesting Suicide Squad member. Especially with his dad's views on suicide...
Mike C That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who literally believe it. People literally believed mythology. People literally believe religion. I don’t know how Dr. Martin Luther King has anything to do with anything. You must be right. I am not bright enough to understand your points. My point however, is pretty simple. Religion is contemporary mythology. Which you seem to agree with, but are still arguing against. Not sure why that is. But if it makes you happy- you do you.
Mike C Am I seriously expected to read all of this after you insulted me? Learn to have an argument without claiming the other person is stupid. 👌 Any point you try and make from now on will be burdened by that behavior so I really have no interest in learning from you any longer. Take care.
Absolutely love this man's work. Love his work even more with a myriad of voiceover work in animated series like We Bare Bears, Bojack Horseman, MLPFIM, etc.
It's pretty well agreed upon that ancient shepherds would look up at the stars at night and find patterns they turned into characters in stories for entertainment. After generations they became their gods. This is exactly what is happening with Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Harry Potter, etc. But instead of looking at the stars, we find it in books, movies and internet fanfiction.
@@Anastaecia not in the traditional sense but we do spend an awful bit of time tuning in religiously, discussing their virtues, comparing them to other contemlorary pantheons and sending money to their perspective story creators.
@@shentzu Copyright cases were more loose back then, I guess. Hell, look at the lion story in the Old Testament with Samson, Hellenic stories with Heracles and then the lion story with Gilgamesh.
@G G What is “gaysm”? XD Old people are more likely to be too shy to try anything other than doggy style in their whole life. So there is no point in asking them, it would be just too sad. My mother one time remembers about bisexual experience in school, but she is a big city girl with hight education.
@G G LoL.. It's like a baby explaining organic chemistry. So funny to read, but then realizing that you probably a grown up dude who actually believing in that religious bs.
Imagine if we traveled two thousand years into the future and people were worshipping the Harry Potter books. Like, that was the main religion in the world and they talked about the books as if they REALLY happened! They debate the meanings of certain passages, look for evidence of which castle in England was the real Hogwarts castle and there are different sects who have different interpretations and they're all killing each other over their differing opinions. That's how crazy religion is! Both books have some pretty good morals and lessons in them too, but the fact that people try to debate whether they are REAL or not is kind of not the point.
"I can't go to the White House with a Green Lantern comic and say, '*I want a Green Lantern ring!*' I saw it in a book I like! Make the thing in the book I like be here, NOW!" Genius. But hey, you've gotta respect people's beliefs, right?
Dan D Lmao I have read it. I was raised as a very devout Christian and I was super religious until finally I woke up and realized this was utter nonsense. I will say there are a handful of good morals but for each one of those though there seems to be about 10 horrifically immoral downright awful or just ridiculous teachings. Like Dawkins has said, it's a fantastic piece of literature, but you have to be crazy(or brainwashed like I was) to take it as an actual factual account of true events. The Bible is just as fictions as Greek mythology or Harry Potter.
Not only is it old, but it's believed by billions of people. That's the key to it being seen as real. "If so many people believe it, how can it be fake?"
That's a logical fallacy known as argumentum ad populum. It is a fallacious argument that concludes that a proposition is true because many or most people believe it. For example: not that long ago, everyone on Earth thought the planet was flat. It's not. The number of people who believe something to be true has absolutely no bearing on whether or not it is true.
I played this while chilling with my eyes closed, & in my head, the visual was Remy the Rat. That got really interesting when Patton started talking about the shit piranhas.
Ironically, in the current X-Men series, they have a character that can raise the dead, walk on water, and produce food for everyone. His name's Krakoa. I kid you not.
Patton Oswalt killed it here : ) Thank you for sharing this bombshell. Mr Jesus, I like the way the way you tether ball, sir... You want to join the avengers to take on Ultron?
Jeff Nasser Of course that’s very Christian of you. Someone who didn’t do anything is punished for another’s sin. That’s what original sin is all about. Dumbass.
Fucking brilliant . I love Patton Oswalt! A very intelligent comic. All the great ones speak the truth {Kineson, Pryor, C.K.} and he is a great comic (///_-)
"he wasn't THAT brilliant" Bill Hicks largely preached to the converted, told college kids (roughly speaking) what both (1) college kids had heard somewhere and therefore wanted to hear and (2) he'd heard somewhere. Imo Hicks was less intelligent and less funny than Stanhope or O'Neal or Macdonald or Chappelle or Bamford or Giraldo or Carlin or CK or Murphy or Martin or Atkinson or Gold or Gottfried or White or Buress or Mulaney or Goldthwait or Grier or Wright or Lange or Odenkirk or Ferguson or.... Imo, honestly, Andy Dick's Danny Roane and Rob Schneider's Big Stan are more intelligent, and more funny, and more truthful than Hicks.
It’s the “get ‘em while they’re young/get ‘em while they’re naive” tactic used primarily in religion in a vain quest to “save” their children and vulnerable people without proper education....cults use it too but I don’t think there’s ANY correlation there. 🙃
At least Invisible Anus guy actually spends his time being kind and helpful to others. Many Christians I know act completely in diregard of their so-called "beliefs" and are vicious, selfish, and not only scornful of literally everything Jesus is supposed to represent, but will rabidly try to hurt others who exhibit any sort of the compassion he supposedly teaches. All this while somehow claiming to be better than everyone else because of their religion.
Ill finish this convo for you all. Patton Oswalt is the best kind of Douchebag. Stick to King of queens and Pixar movies you fat fuck. Not funny unless he has a leading cast in front of him
@J Wil oh so you are one of them guys who think we should go back to slavery and bosses should own thier employees lives and decide to pay them whatwver they want and can force children to work in factories and that healthcare should only be for the wealthy? Tell me do you also think only rich white guys should own land and be allowed to vote?
@Eric Douglas no just the realistic flat earther conservatives with thier 7000 year old flat earth beliefs. Conservatives the very guys who have a "if it isn't broke don't fix it" approach to everything except war and thier old ass ideas about how the world works.
@@evilferris nah. Religion is dying out at record speed in the US. Even if these religious lunatics have authority in the near future to pass what they want, they won’t live forever. I live in Texas. I’m currently under their heels, but they will either die off, or I will eventually move.
When a christian says they're capable of critical thinking while reading the bible every single day and absolutely believing in every word of it... oof!
