Problems with 19 & 22 year old sons 

Did Ron just say "Hi Ron?" lol

I understand why the dad would be hesitant to throw his kid out. With his wife's suicide I'm sure the thought crossed his mind that his wild child would do the same if pushed too hard.

if the mom committed suicide 2 years ago they're probably depressed

The Ron Ramsey Show

7 years ago, I did exactly as Dave suggested - kicked out a depressed 19-year old because he wasn't finishing a failed high school class, and wasn't moving on with his life. (In MY house, you are either a student bettering yourself, or a rent-paying adult.) It worked. He finished the class in 1 month, got a job, moved back in paying rent, and started community college the next semester. He graduated college with a B.S. in electrical engineering. He had some delays in getting his degree due to depression, but worked it out with counseling and medication and persevered to get his degree. I can't begin to express how proud I am of him. My second son, witnessing this, gave me NO problems whatsoever. He even asked me if he was required to pay rent during college summer break. (No, because he was doing what he was supposed to be doing.) Guys, Dave is giving excellent advice - follow it! If everyone could be as proud of their children as I am of mine, the world would be a happier place.

I love how Dave totally ignored the fact that Ron just called him Ron... LOL!!! Bless his heart.

Divorced parents can be emotionally devastating. Mom commits suicide more emotional devastation. I wish the family could find assistance through therapy and support groups. Doesn't sound like a simple growing up, lack of motivation issue.

When I was 18 I was the worst kid ever. My parents asked me if I wanted to go stay with my 28yr old bro half way across USA. I thought vacation time. I get to my bro house on the greydog and the first day he has me fill out 15 job applications Second day same thing. I got a job he charged me rent and now I’m 58. Lol.

I disagree. Throwing his 19 year old son out is not the answer, especially with what he's going through. For some situations Dave is not qualified to give advice, and this is one of them.

I don't completely agree with Ramsey on this one. You don't simply "move out" your depressed Son who just lost his Mom 2 years ago.

I’m 21 still living at home. Barely starting college and getting my life back on track. I’m very blessed to have my Dad with me through my journey. I do chip in on rent and work very hard, but I know that the time of my life where I had nothing to worry about is over. Took me a very long time to get over that bump.

Kicking the son out may not be the best idea. There could be deeper issues here. The son may need counseling to help with depression over his mom's suicide.

That's got to be the worst thing in the world; to come to the realization that your child is not going to be successful in life, and that there is nothing you can do about it.

Love doesn't mean tolerating bad behavior. Love means making the hardest decisions because you have to.

I think that Ron is depressed after all his wife suicide

I wish parents would understand that enabling is abuse. It is 100% abuse. I've seen it with my sister and both of my sisters in laws. It's cute when they are 18 but it's no longer cute when they are 50 years old living on daddies dime, unable to work and to care for themselves. It's your job as the parent to teach them how the world works. Unless you have enough money to support your spoiled children until the day they die, then you are raising your children to become homeless. I saw it with my Grandma and my uncles. The spoiled children NEVER get better because they dont have too. The parents are too afraid to actually discipline. The child is always the one to suffer. I get the Mom committed suicide. You give them a year, go to therapy but you have to still care for yourself. That's not how the world works. My Dad died, mentally ill, I'm not going to dive into that story but guess what, 2 days later I was back to work.

My wife is also an enabler. This is very hard as a parent but sometimes necessary.

Exactly Dave !! I had to have police called and my 19 yo son removed from my home. Asked him to leave and he ignored me and even threatened me and became physically abusive towards me. I threatened over and over would have him removed if his bad behavior kept up ,he just kept ignoring me and mocking my threats. I finally had to call police on him and have him arrested for physical assault. Even when you love your kids you have to put your foot down. Hardest thing I ever had to do ... but he left me no choice.

Not if your child's mother decided to take her life. Dave's advice is true, only to the point of emotions that the boy is going thru! The boy needs a counselor or therapist or family friends. Do not let this child stay lost!

OMG! This is my life!! 18 and 21 yr old sons. 21 is struggling with the death of their younger brother. I needed this video!!

The 19 yo son NEEDS counseling more than anything else. Then build him up as a person, get the high school thing out the way. Get him to work more hours, maybe another job, make him spend less than he makes and he'll be on a good path. But first of all he needs help with the disturbing death of this mother.

I would be careful kicking a depressed kid out of the house. Come on now...Therapy, have a no drinking rule, emotional support, etc...but kicking him out? Man.

I went through that my son kept breaking into my house so I called the police to get him out, update he went to my mom's house, then to jail for a month I wouldn't let him come to my house so he went into a sober living house from there he's currently renting a room out he doesn't really want to talk to me but the Lord is healing me from that

Yeah what they need isnt Ron, what they need is a therapist

I just found a needle in my bathroom that my frickin 28 year old stepson left there! My wife keeps letting him tell her lies! When I told him to be a MAN he started saying he will move out and kill himself! He has been to treatment 3 times, and always says he's cured! My wife still treats him like a CHILD! He's an itch that I can't get rid of!

I love Ron Ramsey, he's always the best family therapist.

You can only help someone so much. Once it has been exhausted and no cooperation then any consequences they have to deal with on their own.

Dave is being way harsh. These guys are grieving a massive shock. The 19 year old was 16 when his mother died under horrible circumstances. The boy needs some real help like therapy to address the drinking. I agree he needs to finish school but kicking him out is not the answer under these circumstances.

Mom committed suicide ?? Very sad. They need professional counseling.

Dave Ramsey also provides family counseling!! This dude is awesome!

Mr. Ramsey I love you sir!!! You just don't know what your video have done for my life

They all need counseling. Especially the 19 yr old. That should be the FIRST condition to remaining in the home.

Don't agree sorry to kick kids out especially after they lost their mom

This is too harsh. His mom committed suicide. I think they get in counseling-not kick the poor kid out when he is obviously depressed.

i'm 21 years old currently going to school and working at my community college but still living at home sheesh, i've been unemployed due to summer break and wow I feel like a bum. Plan on working 2 jobs and also going to school to save up and move by next semester. I need to leave the small city I live and venture out to meet new people and work on myself

The son needs to go to a Grief Share group where he can heal and go from Mourning to Joy. There are some churches that have Grief Share

I cant stop binging this show.

Dave reminds me of my father. And I love it in every way. It’s not tough love. It’s love.

Wow, he has a mother who killed herself and the dads just supposed to kick him out? Obviously, he needs professional help. What if that kid leaves the house and kills himself? That father will have to live with that. The solution here is to NOT kick him out and love him through this by requiring he get help. Stick to financial advice. It seems Dave just likes to kick kids out of the house.

Americans: " Get out of the house!" Asians: " You are not going anywhere until you do this!"

These adult kids living at home feel like there in entitled, to free rent, food, money from parents. Then got the nerves to talk back and be disrespect to the parents. It's the parents fault that their children turned out to be this way. Spoiling, no Setting boundaries etc...... Is a form of child abuse they grow up thinking they're entitled to everything.

Sometimes I wonder how much these parents are telling the truth. An adult child misbehaving is usually due to bad parenting when they were younger. Parents also play favorites even though they never admit it.

This video is from almost 10 years ago now. I hope his sons have their lives straightened out by now.

Thank goodness My Boys have been on the right track so far. That is my worst nightmare.

Role modeling is everything! Sending siblings out into the world without skills or modeling is dangerous for the kids!

Omg. I needed to hear this. Thank you!!!!

They've been divorced 12 years, I think, and the wife committed suicide just 2 years ago. All the kids may have been affected by some things early in life. The boys may have a different type of locus of control than the sister. The sister may have worked so hard because she saw it as a way out of a hectic household. We don't know. Therapy is warranted in this case but it was likely needed long before this call and the mother's suicide.

Maybe the kid needs counseling since he sounds kind of messed up. I would definitely try therapy if he were my child. I'm not surprised he's upset about his Mom.

Sometimes a little tough love goes a long way.

Tell the absolute truth! A friend of mine recently had to put her almost 40-year old son out. No job, alcholoic, not motivated at all to do anything. I agree with Dave. It's not tough love in putting someone out of your home. It's tough watching someone self -destruct. Parents have to let go of the "I feel guilty feelings" of where will their children go? That is emotional manipulation. If a grown person is in the home, this is not a red light to live with no expectation. Parents! Wake up. If you have an adult person that you have raised still living at home that is lazy, a non-contributor. diserespectful...Take a deep breath, set a deadline to have them leave, STICK to the deadline. Yes, it will hurt, but a grown person leaching off of you is the worst case of enabling and will only instill laziness and entitlement. Last thing I want to say is you can't love a person more than they should be willing to care about their own personal well-being. You can't care more than they care about havng shelter, food, money. I have great respect for my mother that she didn't allow me or my brother and sister to be lazy. We all work, have our own everything. Do not allow your children to play on your emotions. Let them figure it out, let them care, let them worry how they are going to eat and live, change the locks, put their sorry behinds out and stop babying them!

Dave “kick him out” Ramsay

Hi Ron. Hi Ron.

I wondered what happen to those sons? I hope they are doing well in life and i hope their dad are emotionally stable now. I hope they are safe and able to deal with pain from whatever situations they have. Lord, please protect this family. Give them a chance to live a life thats not have to deal with soo much pain. I asked this in the mighty name of JESUS. Amen Im dealing with almost the same problems, and its very hard. All I do is to hold on to God’s promises. In the name of Jesus my Saviour.

A life philosophy like stoicism and or body building would help. Setting a good example on how to be a strong focused man and communicating with them in a supportive, non-judgmental way. Take them to the gym with you and express how much you care about their futures.

Ron is feeling better than he deserves!

There is a lot of guilt on the father, who had the divorce and the death of the mother. The father has to get beyond the guilt. If he does not, he may contribute to the destruction of those boys. Sanjosemike (no longer in CA)

Maybe the boys are grieving for their mum? Some compassion is better than tough love at this stage ?

Ron your boys went through the devastating loss of loosing their mother. Dave Ramsey is not a family therapist and has no degree in counseling. Alot of the behaviors your 19 yr old is showing to me seem normal. But, a counselor working hand in hand with you can be so beneficial. The counselor can reassure you and together you can get your 19 yr old and 22yr on the right paths. You can do this!

don't throw out the boys they have to be very emotionally messsed up with mother, I would just keep loving them don't be an authoritarian it will only try them away.

dad is going thru a tough time, hes gonna get thru this

my brother is 26yrs old and won't move out and is rude to my parents and does nothing with his life .My parents have tell him to move out but he just laugh .Help me !

The child is depressed

This guy almost always gives horrible parenting advice. His really should just stick to financial advice.

My parents came off the farm. I quit school at 15 and went to work in the oilfield. When my mom saw how much money I was making she kicked me out. She said that if i wss old enough to work than im old enough to live on my own. So i got a apartment under my dads name because I wasnt old enough to renr

He speaks the truth

i love myself, i will not let my own distruction happen. i cant be lazy, pleasuring myself all the day. i love myself and will be strict on myself to study & work for majority of day & enjoy little at the end of the day with family & friends.

Why did he say Hi to him self?!?! And why did Dave answer when he did?! Crazy lol.

I am tired of my 26 yr old son making babies n keeps coming to my home he argues no job no rent a little kid I told him he has to leave I’m so done and he calls me names

I’m an 18 year old son currently not doing as bad as the 19 yo kid in the video.. but i’m definitely not living up to my truest potential.. that is up until this past week where I’m applying to more career oriented jobs I’m not afraid of hard work I know that I need to earn more to have more and ultimately invest more.. My dilemma right now is I want to start my own business I want to invest more into my brokerage account.. I just see so much advice out there from successful people who would be ashamed that i’m looking to get a job that is more steady and pays me more than my current situation as opposed to jumping right into a business.. what would any of you reccomend? At 18.. should I make more and Then invest more or should I just dive into my business idea (media production, RU-vid Channel, Film, etc.) right off the bat with very little available capital? By the way a 4 year college is not an option for me anymore I quit college after I realized that 4 years is waay too long to make too mediocre, I want a better way to invest 4 years.. 4 years from now I want to be established in my feats. Financially stable and successful, money invested in good companies, and a place of my own on my own.

The cardboard refrigerator box for a home is a great motivator

“This isn’t Animal House, I’m not Dean Wormer” 🤣

Life moves on, people die, family and friends, they would want you to move on, because when you are gone, those children will be in a real world of hurt, there is a time.e to cut the cord. My dad said as long as you are either in college or working I will help, if not you are gone

USMC looking for a few good men

Sounds like this father does not know to interact with his boys. It's crazy!

The caller actually listens to Dave. Meaning he stops his talk if Dave has something to say or ask deeper, many people do not understand how to ask for advice. And most of his callers also have this issue. Say something, listen to the advisor, do not interrupt him very often. Answer to his questions. ...

Wonder how the story ended up with this family. Hope all has developed in the right direction, but wonder if there was any consequence to this drastic move......

GREAT ADVICE

great advice again Ron!

Excellent advice

He needs to get big brother on his side first and then get big brother and dad to talk to him

get mental health for the men they have a different way of communicating and depression expressed differently

Kicking them out won't put 💰 in your pocket. Charge them rent $150 a month. And make them get a full time job for 1 year before sending them to college. To show them what reality is like.

I don't like this thing people have about leaving stuff on the kurb. Makes more sense to leave it in the garage for him to pick up. Leaving someones stuff on the street is the lowest of the low as far as I'm concerned.

Disagree on this chief..

This is probably the saddest episode I’ve heard yet

I enjoy your show strong dad

Yeah never mind that their mother committed suicide two years ago. That's of no concern to mr. Financial man Dave Ramsey. My mother killed herself when I was eight. It's not a no big deal type of thing. Give me an effing break....

Dave is way too harsh and unempathetic.

I disagree. Sometimes kicking someone out makes things worse

Eviction letter for your adult-child? GMAFB! Let them know you love them, you care about them, and you understand they are hurting from their mom's death. Tell them to what extent you are willing to support them... and then they will have to start paying rent! (Or study toward finishing classes....graduation) Treat them as adults, and ask for their opinions and input for rules. At the end, Rules for your house are: A, B, C..... X, Y, Z and "dad needs to follow them as well". Write them down, not as a contract, but as something everybody recognizes as to which was agreed on. Also, verbally discuss at what point you will change locks. (Don't write it down...... they are your sons!) "I am the master/king of the house, and thus my rules are the rules" are of the 1950's and before era..... Dave's thinking made me laugh. "I have one (going to college), so I understand you (and your two dead-beat sons). " B. F. S. Dave doesn't understand!

If I were Ramsey, I wouldn't dare to propose ultimatums for a teenager whose mother recently committed suicide. For such difficult matters, you need a real psychologist with experience like Dr. John Delony, for example. It's not a matter of money; please seek help for your child if you haven't already done so. It's very irresponsible if you haven't. My mother also committed suicide; I know what I'm talking about.

Something that works almost all the time, put them to pay rent while at home. If they don't like it (most likely they will not), then he will be gone and pay his own apartment.

I was out on my own grinding full time job at 13 helping out my abusive mom with the rent and food , I later found out my mom did me really dirty and she was wrong for stressing me out and yelling at was her way of collecting rent and her telling me this isn’t enough it was about 6-800 dollars constantly every 3 weeks by 15 I moved out bought my own cars all on my own I kept everything under a friends name a coworker from that job he sold me my first car 7 cash I was very successful at a young age , imagine if I didn’t pay rent like most adults now a days I would of had a good chunk of cash 💰

I bet if Dave had a kid struggling with mental issues or addiction he would spend millions trying to save them. Or maybe Im wrong. Maybe he would just kick them to the curb and call it love.

Vocations or trades. I've got 4 under my belt. No one directed me .

You are a good father

okay but in this day and age if your child has a mental health issue and you are afraid they may harm themselves what do you do? and most 19yr olds cannot afford to live on own. rent is impossible.. they cannot just move into an apartment

That's my degree possibly MARKETING! YAY! marketing and communications.

Look up the word "enabler"

They need a intervention, counseling through local church.