I like his answer and his practical approach. I know a woman who fervently thought that "marriage vows are forever". Then her husband changed his gender. She tried to still make it work because she thought she was obligated to, though she was clearly unhappy. It didn't work out long range because she had not married a woman. She had married a man. That man was not there anymore. It was time for her to wish her former husband well, leave the marriage, and move on. Dave was right to keep it focused on "what to do financially now that your marriage has ended" instead of "OMG, he's changing genders, how shocking, blah blah blah." Focusing on the husband changing his gender as an issue would have been a distraction.
@@billyb4790 I definitely feel bad for her but also the husband probably went through a long hard journey to come to terms with being trans. It sounds like a very tough situation for them both. On one hand this is turning the wife's world totally upside down and I'm sure it feels like everything she knew was a lie and the husband she thought she knew is dead. That is just heartbreaking. On the other hand the husband probably was living in torment with gender dysphoria for years unable to live their truth. I'm sure it was extremely scary to be honest knowing they would lose literally everything and then have to adapt to living as another gender in society. At the same time it was probably necessary for that person to be truly authentic and stop suffering. I really empathize with both in this situation. It sounds awful.
@@vacciniumaugustifolium1420 Imagine you could. Im 18 and always wondered how much my parents have “invested” in me over 18 years. Food, clothes, gifts, etc.
im the first person to tell everybody not to get married in the first place... but shouldn't you atleast try to work through it when things get tough before you decide to throw so much away in an expensive court case?
@@La_sagne This isn't "things getting tough," though. This is the person that you married becoming literally a different person than the one you married. Someone who's name is not on that marriage certificate. Someone who did not stand before God, family, and friends and take the vows of "for better or worse, til death do us part". If it was the same person, dead-naming would not be a word that exists. The reality is that once the transition is complete, the person that she married will be as dead as the name that he no longer will use. To my mind, even as a non-religious person, that's a bit different than an affair, a job loss, an unplanned pregnancy, or most other circumstance that might cause rifts in a marriage. But I'm neither married nor God-fearing, so I don't know if I'm qualified to respond
I feel so sad for her. A mother, homeschooling her children, while her husband is away, doing her best to serve her family and her husband. Praying for her
Let me correct your comment Jessica: "I feel so sad for her. A mother, homeschooling her children, while her WIFE is away, doing her best to serve her family and her WIFE. Praying for her" There is no husband in the marriage. Lol
Dave handled this issue with great tact and professionalism. No politics or "social decay" rants, just good straightforward financial advice. Kudos to him.
@@HoratiosPhilosophyobviously because he’s a conservative religious man. But the point is he kept the conversation relevant only to the financial situation which is good
Yeah most of my friends like that change from girls to guys, legally and socially that is. Applying for new jobs they get promoted easier🤷♂️ is what it is.... but still 🤣🤣🤣
@@DiaJasin I wish I wasn't, their own wives don't make promotions nearly as much as they do, but I would suppose that had more to do with confidence and assertiveness than anything, but it is what it is.
When the Lord showed me separation was coming I started my own side business. By the time he was gone my business was able to sustain me and our two children
Well, the Dave Ramsey show got real this morning. Dave didn’t touch that gender transition statement with a 10 foot pole. Anndddd..... default to standard divorce advice. 😂
Yup...such issues are virtually radioactive these days. Gone are the times when most people could discuss unusual and/or sensitive topics with respect & maturity, unfortunately.
Dave is thinking about RU-vid standards and guidelines and not wanting to get demonetized or a strike on his channel, thats why he isn't touching the gender thing at all! 👀😂😂
Bless her soul. It was super smart of her to get some professional financial advice. So many women stay on the emotional side of things and she's thinking a lot more level headed than I would be.
@@Miranox2 Agreed. We tend to treat 'masculine' emotions (e.g. anger, frustration, jealousy) as more legitimate than 'feminine' emotions (e.g. sadness, fear, resentment, shame), but the truth is we all have feelings - it's just a question of how we deal with them. And we don't do a good enough job of teaching people that skill when they're young, often because we're struggling to master it ourselves. You could hear at times that this lady was struggling to keep it together and remain calm because she clearly knows that there are practical issues that she has to address for her own sake and the sake of her child/ren.
If the whole call wasn't a set up, maybe so. She didn't need to be told to run, she knew that. She just needed to know how to be able to do it financially.
Men are actually more emotional than women. Their emotional suppression is usually futile and only amplifies the irrationality of their decisions. Women expression the initial emotions and then become level headed when making decisions.
@@tbarnestb that's not funny her husband betray his oat his uniformity he is a fraud his life is a fraud. He think he is a better female than his wife unbelievable
What a horrific situation to find oneself in after a wedding, a first child and the expectation of a long, happy marriage with one's spouse! I am in full agreement. The caller should untangle herself from as mush spousal debt as possible, protect herself and her child legally and make hard decisions about her future as a single mother. Remaining in the marriage makes no sense as her husband left it a long time ago. There's no future in such a liaison.
Wonder if he thinks "UNCLE SAM" will allow her to stay in the same RANK & FILE and finish serving out to retirement.. or will he get KLINGER'S SECTION 8 off of M*A*S*H....HAHA
If you have kids.. the marriage is bigger than you. It’s not about romance and wonderful feelings anymore unfortunately. To raise stable kids in a stable environment always comes first, your emotions come second. I’m not saying in every situation, obviously hers is extreme but I think lots of people can get through their inevitable “marriage crisis” and push aside their feelings for the sake of the family and when you do that sometimes the feelings come back, I’ve seen it before.
@@shyresearcher I can only imagine. I've never been married and at this point I don't think I would. I missed my chance to get into it before most people in my dating pool have been there, done that and divorced. Quite frankly, I don't need anyone else and don't want to depend on anyone since I've been let down so many times before.
@@julialee143 that’s a lot of personal suffering for people who are living a lot longer than they used to 50 years ago. Very admirable but the divorce rates shows people care little about preserving a home over peace of mind and I can’t blame them for that.
When I knew my divorce was coming I called a lawyer the same day and got a separation agreement drafted up. Looking back, if I hadn't I would have been fleeced big time in court. This lady needs to start protecting herself now! (The caller that is :) ).
I feel like this was a plot to get cancel culture to attack Dave Ramsey. There's no way she told the producers she was going to say that. She tried it though...good job Dave lol
He sounds very selfish, in a weird way. Over 40% who go through the full surgery commit suicide. It's evil and idiotic that political figures and Hollywood are promoting this stuff as normal.
That person did exist and still does but suffer from mental illness. This is such a stupid take. That's like finding out your partner is depressed or develops schizophrenia 40+ years into marriage and saying "one of the saddest things is finding out the person you married never existed".
@@sierra7534yeah, once you come to the point where you can't define what a woman is, it then opens the door for you to come up with an unlimited amount of infinitely bizarre delusions
@@sierra7534 The person I was married and shared my life with had a second life with someone else. Please don’t tell me what I did and did not feel or experience. 30 years of lies, cheating, etc. The person that existed unfortunately turned out to be a narcissistic evil human being. Not what he portrayed himself to be during our courtship.
@@xSalamz No I’ve been listening and watching day for years I use his seven steps. But you’re right he does answer a lot of marriage counselor questions
She needs to immediately see an attorney and legally separate. He wants to stay married because right now he could stop paying the bills and supporting the family. He could empty the bank account. With a legal separation he’d will have to fulfill his obligations and can’t hide the money. Dave should have told her to go right to an attorney and protect herself and the kids. The marriage is over.
I'm glad they've avoided the issue. Part of me wonders if calls like this are BS and trying to lure Dave into saying something that way there can be make believe "outrage".
@@cloudedcolour5329 yeah so....maybe catch up with current events? Why would you think they won’t be in the military much longer? It will get you promoted soon. Not hyperbole either. Haven’t you met our secretary of health?
@@danielstrother2494 you do realise the -reason- they arent allowed to be on deployable units isnt that the other soldiers won't accept them but that they are reliant on hormones, hormones that the military may not be able to get in theatre, same as with diabetics
i have to agree. i mean the kids were being homeschooled even.. now they prolly have to enter back into public school.. that changes not only the wife’s life but the kids too in more ways than one. homeschooling is a very important and personal decision for most families.
This is the smallest thing that's "destroying families". infidelity, finances, lack of communication.... watch ANY other episode of Dr Delony. This is a HUGE outlier
The children in this situation will be dealing with this on top of the divorce, which is traumatic enough. The mom's voice is shaking knowing their stability is gone, which is probably why she considers staying married. She needs to put the kids in therapy ASAP.
I recently found out my ex changed genders and she doesn't look anything like she use to. I don't see that relationship lasting. We're not designed to be attracted to the same gender if we're straight, that's an undeniable fact. In many cases it feels like someone passed away when that happens, the psychological toll on that is massive. The only thing you can do is move on, that's just my opinion.
Its made its way into my household with my kid. Found out the 2 of her teachers were affirming the childrens gender changes. We now homeschool her and she stays in the safety of our home
Very true. Someone doesn’t seek specific questions relating to specific problem for ‘a friend,’ unless it was very important. In other words, disguising the confusion by seeking advice.
No, unfortunately it is life in our modern society. I have a friend in this exact situation. Except the husband is not in the military. He works for a university. So sad.
Didn't seem rehearsed in my opinion. It's reasonable that she would want to call into a radio show to get an opinion on this and not out the entire situation to family and friends.
How people decide to mess other peoples life up is beyond me. I can't begin imagine the emotional/ mental trauma this woman and children are going through right now.
@@eurekahope5310 Ever see that story of that one loser who abandoned his family to go live as a 6 year old girl with this creepy old couple? Don't understand how people can't see that most of these people are just self-absorbed and live in their own heads, they need help and perspective, not horomones and encouragment.
Wow yall transphobic. This person no longer wants to be a man. Thats their choice. tbh if my man did this i would still love him and if i came out as trans my man would also still love me. Respect trans people and there choice to live as they feel they should. The trans person isn’t neglecting, abandoning, or mis treating their wife. Its unfortunate for her but things happen, people change. Its nobody’s fault because being trans isn’t something u can just stuff down under and never come out about. Her partner likely never new they were trans, until now and i would rather my partner tell me as soon as they realize then to hurt themselves and continue to live as someone they aren’t. Now that is what actual love looks like.
@@kacydeyoe9764 Oh, so if I have a family I can do whatever I want because I choose it? don´t you think about his wife and children? When people decide to start a family, they must understand that decisions have consequences for the rest of the family, I can´t simply take my life and hope that my family respect my decision and accept it, that is selfishness, I recommend divorce in this case and he does whatever he wants, that´s it.
It is but its also progress. Think of 1000’s of intersex and trans individuals over the generations who lived lives so uncomfortable or hiding who they were etc These are both relatively common (says as common as redheads) and science studies are backing up the biological basis etc
Is this the same woman who called Dr. John a few weeks ago. If so... yeah, that was a much more appropriate Ramsey personality for this one. To be fair, Dave and AO did a good job of focusing on the financial. They knew what they were doing with the title on this one.
What kind of man would do this to his wife and child? I don't care what you want or how bad you want it. A good husband and father will always sacrifice their for their family.