The fist story is basically : "My husband abused his position at his company to try and harass me at my workplace. He did that on the clock while violating company guidelines, which got him fired. Am I the Butthole?"
She did say he had his child with him, so maybe he wasn't on the clock. Other than that, yes, the guy got himself fired them blamed the woman he's forcing to stay married to him
Yeah, that whole thing was bizarre. "Richard" is clearly a complete idiot. Probably thought he was being clever by bringing hte kid so he wouldn't get arrested. Let's not forget the receptionist apparently gave him the opportunity to just leave and he refused.
"My *cheating* husband... did that while violating company guidelines *and* a restraining order", even! He's lucky he wasn't arrested, wtf! But I guess, like FDM said above, that was what he brought his kid along to prevent.
probably most of the people calling didn't know he had a restraining order and she wasn't even directly involved in calling the company, and if enough people tell you "it's your fault" some get doubts
I feel like in that last story, the wife has been duped into joining an MLM and is now in debt and trying to hide it from her family. The whole ‘part time nurse’ thing makes me think she’d be a perfect target for an MLM hun-bot. There’s definitely more to the story!
the op posted a updated, her brother was in debt and about to lose his home or smth like that, she was giving him 1k every week and didn't want to burden the husband
That lawyer story was disgusting. I couldn't imagine breaking my back and taking out loans so someone I thought loved me could get a higher education only for that person to say "Im breaking up with bc I'm at a high social standing then you" He was the reason she made it to her higher social standing and my main question is did she stick him with the bill? She's not a feminist, she's a user and a proper garden tool and if OP is still friends with her it speaks volumes and I hope her husband is paying attention.
@@SunnyVenusian mentioned this in other comments, if that is the case then what is the purpose of feminism nowadays. Since it accomplished what it set out to do, that being equal opportunity for women. The only inequality now is just outcome which isn’t tied to opportunity. I’ve posted this comment many times in the past and almost no one answers this question. Crickets from people like you that claim otherwise, like you have the floor if you’re so confident then how it’s all nothing but crickets from you people. Something tells me that you guys know you’re wrong if you’re not willing to answer that very simple question.
Are we *not* gonna talk about the irony of the realistic potential of her robbing this guy of his money... to become a lawyer? And not even a defense attorney, a criminal prosecutor; there's a good chance she could find HERSELF behind the defendant's seat if he has to sue for it LOL
@@Starfloofle As much as we'd all wish for that to happen, technically what she did is completely legal since there was no contract that it was a loan of some sort that she has to pay back.
The snooping MIL. The guy is 30 years old and he is afraid of what mommy thinks, run OP, run as fast as you can. She will smother your relationship until it dies from lack of oxygen.
That is what I was also thinking. His mother can do anything she wants with her son, so she will clash with op because op does not seem like the type to be bossed around. I hope she realizes he and his mom are a strange package deal and this is not worth it.
Also the “tidying up” excuse is such bs. They’re both adults, they don’t need MIL’s help tidying up their apartment. I can’t believe OP’s boyfriend doesn’t understand the problem with his mom snooping around in his girlfriend’s things.
Right! The future MIL already told her son that she wants him to break up with her… normal MIL would be excited to see their children get married and see their hard work of parenting pay off
I think with that part, they're trying to guilt trip her into thinking that if she had agreed to give him money for him and his mistress, he never would've gotten fired.
@@TheRich4270 I still have respect for the name Richard. The pastor at my childhood church had that first name, and my all time favorite superhero is the Richard Grayson iteration of Robin
Right? When I heard that they decreased the amount of allowance I was like what's the big deal? Cus that can show the kids how to save up when hard times might hit them. But the story went on and I was just so confused and thinking she had to have done something that's she's now freaking out about money ....
Hubbies was an alcoholic and thought for years that all money was his and he wanted it for alcohol NOT others (like food for family). We lived hearing "we have food at home" when out and hungry.
She should not feel obligated to date him. She should, however, tally up all the financial assistance he provided, thank him profusely, and pay it all back.
@@suncello06 the issue isn't that she no longer wanted to date him, it's that she blatantly used him for his money and threw him out like a sack of garbage once she got what she wanted.
Story 3: Maybe OP should think again about moving in with this guy, his mom doesn’t have any respect for her and his response is that’s how she is. I don’t think they should break up just yet but don’t move in together until there is an understanding that she can’t just go through your stuff like that.
yeah boundaries need to be laid down IMMEDIATELY before anything else progresses normal worried mothers just text and call their children a lot. she's just a weasel
Also, the fact that he needs his mom permission to move is kind of a red flag, I mean, OP has been the owner for 7 years, even if she got it at 18, I'd say she's now 25, so her boyfriend should also be in his 20's. If he still needs mommy to give him permission it says a lot about how dependent he is on her. Also, the mother being that overprotective is something that OP would have to deal her whole life if she let his boyfriend move. Not worth it, let him still live with his mom or on his own (it would be better on his own so he cuts the umbilical cord), and maybe give it a couple of years before considering living together again.
I'm more concerned about the fact she actually thinks she's the jerk. How much has this been going on? How strongly? What other forms of intrusion does the mother do? The problem isn't just her going through her stuff btw.... that's not the problem in their relationship... The problem is that he doesn't respect her or her boundaries. Does he even have any? I've seen behavior like the mother's before. It is strongly affiliated with Cluster B, which includes narcissists.
I can tell you EXACTLY why the friend can say that marriage is patriarchal, but a man has to pay the bills. She has no moral philosophy and will spout whatever nonsense agrees with her at the time, it’s that simple. She doesn’t believe marriage is patriarchal, she’s just a gold digger who can’t be seen with someone “lesser” even though that person is the reason she is where she is today.
In france you have "Cuck support". It's when you are a cuck and has to pay child support to the woman who betrayed you and her child who is not yours. Also it's illegal to take a DNA test without her consent :D
I think for the last story the wife might’ve gotten herself into debt and is afraid to tell her husband. I would seriously sit down and have a talk with the wife asking why is she being so conscious about money and why can’t it be something they can work with together so that if it is something like major credit card debt that she’s ashamed of he can help her out
I mean, regardless, it's not the family that should be covering for *any* debt, the fact she's ragging on the husband and the children to start saving money to pay off any debt they didn't incur upon themselves is the problem. If it's her debt, then she needs to deal with it herself or ask her husband to see if he will help, this way they can plan cutbacks *TOGETHER* until it's paid back. But if it's her brother who is in debt and she's taken it on, then unless her husband wants to help, it's her priority.
Op needs to save and get a good lawyer, the cheating ex is living with his mistress and their child, and she has a restraining order against them, how is it possible that she can't get divorce?
@@melodyharpole8272 apparently somewhere in the UK from OP's comments. Husband's family has some weird belief system about a child born during the marriage is part of the marriage even if the child is from adultery
Gotta say, wife in the last post is more 3/5 BH for bringing outside food to a restaurant. That sort of stuff is not right and asking the wait staff to warm it up is a health violation.
last story sounds like obsessive compulsive personality disorder... some of the biggest symptoms of ocpd is miserliness with money and a need for constant control
I feel like this is also comorbid with something else because with OCPD the wife isn't likely to not have the higher paying job. That being said, she may have the higher paying job and it was left out of the story. Still she's frugal not just with her own money but with her husband's and that's not quite the same. That sounds like some kind of narcissistic control tactic.
@@chevgage6210 the op posted a updated, her brother was in debt and about to lose his home or smth like that, she was giving him 1k every week and didn't want to burden the husband
The 'embarrassing food' story: My mom went through a VERY similar years long episode of embarrassing cheapery. It was anxiety. A psychiatrist and med script later, we've far fewer instances of this behavior.
@@rachaeledge9719 I agree! My hubby did something like this a few years ago. He set up a blanket and pillows outside and made a fire in the backyard and played my favorite music on his iPod with a speaker. We spent hours out there just snuggling! It was a sweet surprise for sure!
Overly frugal wife sounds like she's trying to pay off some kind of debt she's hiding from her husband. I would totally recommend he go through every shared account and finances they have
For the last story, I'd check bank records, bills and any financial statements for accounts the wife has access to. It sounds like she has substantial debt that she doesn't want to tell her husband about and is doing everything in her power to get more money to pay it off.
the op posted a updated, her brother was in debt and about to lose his home or smth like that, she was giving him 1k every week and didn't want to burden the husband
@@pedroguibueno trying to hide something like that from your partner is a big nono in any relationship, cheers for clearing that up and it explains a lot but is still a big yeesh from me
Last story: I would definitely lean more towards some form of anxiety disorder or possibly OCD rather than drugs, etc. An early stage addict usually sees themselves as in control of their habit. If they were aware enough of their problem to squirrel away money, they would be aware enough to also deal with the addiction, such as looking into rehab. Also, the behaviour of taking food to restaurants is not consistent with "saving money", especially since she then wasted the salad. That's why I suggest something more anxiety related. Could be germ phobia, some form of need to control what she eats, or similar. I'm not a therapist, but I'd definitely recommend that she see one.
Wait, so. In the first story, Richard, the man, shows up to OP's work, who is presumably female, to request child support... For a child that can be proven is not hers? The birth mother is always on record. How did he think he could ever get child support, lol
I mean, same can be done to men and it can succeed. Women can register a child on some random guy or some guy they dated, and then the man has to go prove the child isn't his. If he can't prove or doesn't show up, well, be locked into paying child support. And if they don't pay, they go to jail. Search youtube for the guy who has gone to prison for 5 years, for not paying child support, for a child that isn't his. It was finally proven with dna test that he wasn't the father of the child, wasted 5 years of his life, couldn't be there for his actual 8 years old child. The court just wouldn't listen or takes their sweet time, it's pretty much what a nightmare looks like. And for the woman who claimed the child as his causing him to waste 5 years in prison, slap on the wrist, no repercussions. There are other men having to pay child support even when they have gone to court requesting dna test multiple times, and some even sneaking dna material from the child to prove that the child isn't theirs. The court just doesn't listen and neglect the guy for years. Most eventually succeed, but they never get the money they have wasted over the years back. And the women always gets a slap on the wrist... Hell, there are some who have definitive proof the child isn't theirs with court proven dna test after years of struggle, but then the court says they have payed for all these years(well duh they are forced to) so now they have become a provider to the child or some other bs, so they should keep paying anyways as the child 'needs' their money to be looked after. I shit you not, this is the kind of stuff that would make a normal man snap and take the path of murder. It's that fcked up, i couldn't imagine being in such a fcked up situation. Sure, doing it to a woman is highly unlikely to succeed compared to a man, but yea, guess that's where he got the idea from...
@@N0xiety I totally agree. It used to be like this in my country, but some laws concerning parenthood were changed some 10-15 years ago. Until then a mother could, in theory, put the name of a random guy on the birth certificate as the father, then claim child support and the guy would have to pay. The man could dispute parenthood in court, but could prove it only via DNA test, which the mother, as sole custodian, would have to agree to, thus if she was out for a scam, the guy would be screwed. But this detail was changed, now the DNA test has to be done, if requested.
@@ThePuschkin1986That can only be done in the case of marriage. You cannot claim child support from a random man without a DNA test. However if you're married the husband is automatically assumed to be the father and has to pay for child support. That isn't the same in the case of the wife being asked for child support in this case because she doesn't have a birth certificate as a mom
On the last story, Rslash makes a good point about the wife seeming off. However, I have an aunt who just likes saving money for the sake of saving money (even though she’s very rich). Doesn’t mean the wife in the story is a drug addict, BUT something is almost certainly going on that needs investigating.
The problem is the bringing outside meals into restaurants and asking if the kitchen will warm it for you. As a healthcare worker she should know that that's a health risk, if not an outright violation. Plus, it doesn't make sense to go to a restaurant, take up a table, and not eat the food! This speaks to some mental issue, rather than a secret debt.
It's odd that it seems to have come on suddenly, though. Almost my entire family is extremely frugal, even though some of them do very well for themselves, enough so that people think they're poor. But they've always been like that, and any major shifts tend to follow obvious causes, like a new job. Something has definitely changed recently and drastically for the wife.
The suspicious thing is that this behaviour started recently. They had 2 kids 12 and 13 yo and thus wasn't an issue at first. But now lowering allowances and scrimping money so bad. It's a recent change and not something that she had from long ago so something changed recently for her to act this way. I hope op figures it out and puts an update it's all just weird and shifty
Story 2: Sounds like she is just trying to come up with any excuse to why she ditched the guy that got her from rags to riches just because she makes more than him, even if the reasons contradict each other.
i think if the loan still exist,the guy can sue that whore and use legal means to pass her the loan,because she's the one that benefitted from it,provided the guy can prove she used deceptions and lies to get him to continue making the loans...
@@SilverFang2789 From what i could find this is the UK.... so we have a long way to go apparently. Fucking hell... i guess this does mean she could take it to the news if nothing else, but goddamn that ones close to home (not british but share a sea border)
Yeah. But narcissists are _never_ at fault for their actions. After all, it's pretty decently outlined right in their prayer! "That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it."
2nd story. The friend of OP is one of those bad feminists who wants their cake and to eat it too. Wants to be a strong female with a job, but still have a high standard for guys and expects to exploit their money for living expenses. This is common enough of a concept to have a bunch of youtubers making videos about it.
Lol… welllll…. In the real world, let’s be honest, what she did was a whole lot closer to that oldest profession than feminism. Like opposite ends of the spectrum 🤨😆 her friend is clearly justifying being a gold digger by contorting the heck out of the definition of feminism. She’s using a buzzword to shut down any discussion or criticism. I guarantee she had no intention of staying with the guy one day longer than she had to. She manipulated his feelings in any way required only as long as was necessary. They used to refer to this sort of behavior as something far less pc than being a “gold-digger”. She’s a toxic destructive selfish b*tch… at least sugar daddy/baby relationships are open and mutually agreed to, enter at your own risk, but her friend was deceitful from day one no matter the cost to the guy. I ended a couple relationships with “friends” when I was younger because I refused to sit by and pretend it was cute or empowering or “being strong and independent”.
@@PtwibbieN09 Oh I agree and it's not traditional feminism just entitled brats using the said word to excuse or justify their terrible actions. Unfortunately as I said its more common than you think since their is a large amount of youtubers who very well cover this subject.
@@101Snipeshot Actually...be very careful who you get this information from. Many people are fooled into thinking that this is how feminism flat out IS as a whole, because of opportunistic far right wingnuts who look to spread their nonsense under the veil of "logic and reason" and "owning the libs" and "beating down those SJWs". Trust me, I was just looking for news on crazy people too, then I realized the actual agenda these skeptic/conservative channels really wanted to push. If you want to look into these things, do so at your own risk. Its easy to slip down the alt right pipeline.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 Why I didn't ever conflate and say "ALL" are like this. Thing is there is enough females out there who do what I very well said and just like the skeptics I referenece they too have tons of videos all over youtube. Is it all of them? No, but its definitely not some minority that can just be ignored. Thing is if you immediately dismiss opposing view you are part of the problem in this current climate of idea exchange. Are these skeptics completely right about dating and women? No, but they must have something if there are tons of them with tons of videos and bad feminist content to go over (videos and articles). I'm along the middle here and I find that every side has its problems and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Mostly because both sides of about anything now a days have been hijacked by corrupt individuals out for their own ends.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 I watched a lot of videos before anything started crazy with these anti SJW RU-vidrs, now idk exactly how someone can get to that to alt right. As far as I’m concern people like Sargon are only called racist for his use of the n word rather than him saying anything that you know is actually racist. If you don’t want more people flocking to the right in drones as you claim. Then explain what the purpose of feminism is, when it accomplished what it set out to do, equal opportunity for women, only inequality is outcome which isn’t tied to opportunity?
The last story is throwing up some red flags, this sudden frugality sounds to me like she just lost her job and is trying to keep that fact secret. Either that or she came out with a sudden case of OCD with a frugality compulsion.
I wondered if the “frugal wife” has some sort of mental illness? Like people who hoard stuff that they don’t need? Maybe there is something similar where you feel you have to control your money to the extreme. And it could very well be due to being a nurse during COVID. So much out of control so she is trying to control this one thing.
I mean he already had the audacity to begin with when he went to her place of work to the man her give him child support for an affair child that he had while he was and still is married to his wife. The entitlement is already there lol
@@Makeup4ever5 ikr? I feel like even Entitlement is like "woah dude I don't know this guy, ask stupidity they might know who the hell is he or who he think he is"
The money saving wife sounds like some kind of obsessive disorder. Don't think there's any cheating or drugs but yeah wouldn't be surprised if it's stress-induced.
There's a story somewhere where a woman asked if there's any way she can get her (Male) neighbor to pay child support cause she asked him to watch her kid like once or twice and didn't take any pay for it because apparently he took on a "fatherly role"
Unfortunately in some countries it is, and considering the divorce laws are screwed where they live I wouldn't be surprised if its one of those countries
@@shadowfang269 yes, because she is still married to the man and he won't let her have a divorce, its his child but its still hers by marriage so the courts say it is her child too
That final story, reminds me of what happens when one partner is getting ready to leave. My sperm donor did something similar for about 6 months prior to packing up and leaving while the rest of the family was out. Mum was SAHM. I was 18, had my first legal job, (I had left school, and was told it’s school or work) and was giving my wages each week to my mother to keep us afloat. My sperm donor, would only allow a small amount of money to be spent and would demand the receipts for anything she bought. When he found out what I was doing he stopped giving mum any money whatsoever. When he left, he took almost everything, then quit his job to avoid child support (4 younger sister).
Either a drug addiction for the last story or its one of those extreme cheapskates where they limit the use of everything so they never need to spend money except when necessary. Regardless it's definitely a mental issue
She definitely could be stealing drugs from working in a hospital. My dads friends wife was a nurse who got fired because she was stealing drugs. She absolutely could be in too deep. But if it’s strictly money she also could have a gambling problem.
Rslash leaving those notes for his wife while he was gone is the cutest thing ever. Hope he doesn't mind, cause I may have to steal that one in the future.
Second Story: You should have mentioned that she was basically a gold digger. She only probably stayed with him so he would pay for her education. She needs a reality check.
The lady in the last story sounds like to me she has some hidden debts that she is trying to pay off without anyone finding out. I've had some people I've known that were shopaholics and would rack up massive credit card debt and then attempt to hide it from the people in their lives. Also another possibility is she got scammed for money and is secretly trying to replace before anyone notices. He should definitely check all of their financial information to make sure everything is ok after that they really need to have a talk. Something is definitely wrong there.
The last story: NTA. Let me get this clear, she is 'saving' money, by buying meal, going to a restaurant and telling the staff to microwave a food she brought from somewhere else?. I try to save as much as possible, but even I don't do that, not even my mom did that when she was struggling. I agree with OP, there is either something weird going on here.
I have never in my life heard of someone who brings frozen meals to a restaurant and tries to get them warmed up. I agree, something is most definitely not right here.
Omg this person would no longer be my friend at all. She used that man then dumps him, actual trash human. Do not! do not marry a man who allows his mother to go through your things. You own your own home, why would you ruin your life with this mama boy? A man / woman who can’t put mama and papa in their place is 100% not spouse material. Parents are great love them, but your partner is your #1 ……
So for the last story, I read one similar to this. It was the husband who was being stingy with the money and would bring a calculator everywhere. He threw a huge tantrum over the bill at a restaurant where he calculated that it was $45 but it was actually $65. He told them that he wouldn't pay that and would only pay the $45 cause his mom was a math teacher ect ect. Well the restaurant accepts and kicks them out immediately and the wife gets on him about embarrassing her. It seems to me that maybe they're both going through some mental crisis over money and they need help.
In the last story, I'd bet that she's stashing cash to leave him and pay for a lawyer. Also, I was a Chef, and the restaurants aren't refusing to warm her food because they want to *sell* her food, although they do. They're refusing because it violates health code. They don't know where that food has been, or if it's contaminated. Just allowing it into the kitchen puts the guests and the restaurant in danger.
the op posted a updated, her brother was in debt and about to lose his home or smth like that, she was giving him 1k every week and didn't want to burden the husband
The story about the woman who brought food to the restaurant sounds like there's a weird money arrangement between the couple. My ex had a ton of money that I didn't know about so I often behaved like someone who doesn't have money to spend. I've also known couples who keep their money completely separate.
NTA for first story. How is this OP's fault?? His ex husband is breaking the rules and that is somehow OP's fault? If anything, its not! Its like I broke into a mcdonalds and wanting a discount and getting fired for harrasment! It doesn't make sense.
2nd story:this happened to my uncle my aunt did the same thing to him and how he is making more money than her and she is crippled be supportive to the boyfriend because major depression can and probably will kick in
For the affirmations OP. I can tell you from experience, your mother in law does not need to impressed because she has already decided how she feels about you. I was like your partner, in denial of my mom's sins. She knows what she is doing, she will not change, she will always resent you. Who needs to change is your partner, he needs to realize what's happening and stand up for you. Protective is just an excuse to be a justified asshole
this. she is just being a weasel he needs to understand asap what boundaries are and that he is currently finding one established by the OP. whether he respects that boundary or not will indicate where their future goes
The thing is that even if you're aware (the guy), sometimes you can't do a shit about it. Then what? I actually had to move to different city (under the pretense of better job) to be able to get from this without losing my mom or my partner.
@@faremir While I get the sentiment. I disagree. Boundary making is difficult, but possible. For example, regrettably my mother is not allowed to talk to me till they stop disrespecting my partner. If they tried to stop by or text, they would be ignored. He can do very similar things. It seems extreme, but it is the mom who makes things extreme by not being a respectful and tolerable person. And she has every ability to stop, boundary making is creating consequences so people either learn to stop or pay the consequence of their own action
That last story is a sign of some trauma. I grew up in a poor family and I mean poor to the point that 3 meals a day is a struggle until my mom got hired overseas. It left a kind of extreme hoarding issue for me when it comes to money coming to a point where money gets ruined in my piggy bank, my sister hides food. We had multiple therapy sessions and it's fine. But until now I have had trouble parting with money. I do always have money in the bank to last me a year just in case I get fired or something. I can't help it, I guess the wife's issue is a lot worse.
The wife in the food story sounds like she might have some serious food or money related trauma, and could really benefit from talking to someone about it.
Ugh... I knew where that second story was going. My father's friend in the US Navy went through the same thing. He married and did everything he could to help his wife achieve her dream of being lawyer. When she achieved it, she belittled him for making so much less than she did and eventually divorced him.
Keep sharing stories from your life! I love learning about you and your family bc I’ve been listening to you for like 2/3 years and I finally feel like you’re relating EVEN MORE to your followers. Keep it up Dab!
About that last story, I like that you brought up the point about her being under stress as a nurse. Even though she is a part-time nurse, she might be overworked and stressed out because of the situations there, and maybe on the verge of quitting, causing severe guilt and trying to take matters in to her own hands. If she can't earn the money, maybe she can stop spending the money. Or the stress has led to a self-sabotaging habit that can possibly turn into an addiction. Whatever it is that she's going through, I think it's safe to say that she needs some sort of therapy.
@@daniella9787 It means Non-Player Character. Of course, it's also slang for radical social-justice types (or just regular social-justice types depending on who's talking).
I'm mostly hung up on the whole restraining order thing, like if I was him I'd consider myself lucky I just got fired and that the receptionist didn't call the cops on me for violating my restraining order
Bruh, if that newly-minted lawyer doesn't want that incredible, supportive boyfriend, I'll take him off her hands. As for feminism? A partner who stays home, does the housework, even financially supports their partner through school... whatever the genders involved, that partner deserves exactly as much status as the one who went to law school. It's a partnership!
I've heard the 2nd story play out before so many times before. Husband pays for woman's education, woman graduates, woman thrives and promptly dumps husband!
I have also heard of it the other way too. Woman pays for man's education, man dumps woman after getting a job in the lucrative field. No matter who does it, man or woman it is a scummy, a-hole thing to do.
1:38 RSLASH, you said "They discovered Richard's Mistress was his BOSS!" and that is very different from "Richard was his mistress' boss.". It's a few videos now where you don't proof read before you record, and you really should, dude. Kinda like the "shared BEDROOM" when it was, in fact a "shared BATHROOM". For those of us that are *watching* it's easy to find the mistake, but for those that are listening only, that's not right.
About the individual that became a lawyer, and dumped her ex, nah it's going to be a 5/5, she may even potentially deserve to be prosecuted in court, for emotional manipulation, and exploitation of her ex. At the very least, in my opinion, she should be fined and be forced to study again, since she's clearly not educated on, what's criminal and not.
@@Alex-sv7vt Depends on if it's premeditated, if you intended to get something out of a relationship, where the goal is to walk away with what the individual can provide you with, and just dump them afterwards, then it actually can in specific instances be considered criminal.
for the last story: I think she has PTSD from beeing poor. I have seen similar behavioral patterns from people that where homeless for a long time or born into extreme poverty. She needs a consultant to get used to this
Last story is so cringy I got secondhand embarrassment from it like dude why go to the restaurant to ask them to microwave your food Don't you have a microwave, do it and eat in your car The poor birthday kid
My husband does the same when he has to go out of state for business. I love finding those notes. Part of the reason we've been married for more than 30 years. 💛👍🏼✌🏼💜😉
The last two stories: it sounds like both of these are compulsions. The MIL tries to say she just has nervous energy but snoops, controls and is overly-protective. This could easily be explained as a compulsion. The wife takes meals to restaurants and asks that they be microwaved - she might be hiding debt but it sounds like compulsive behavior to me.
1st story: ah yes, making the woman YOU cheated on pay child support for a kid that's not even her's make total sense. 2nd story: you're telling me that the man who actively encouraged you to pursue your dreams and helped pay for school is no longer worth your time because he's a blue collar factory worker? Also, being a lawyer is a fairly lucrative job, yet YOU don't want to be the one paying the bills because you're the woman? Don't get me wrong, people are allowed to have standards for what they're looking for in a partner, but if the woman was going to dump the guy after she got her degree/job, why stay with him the first place? The final story: if you're so determined to save money, why are you wasting the gas to drive to and from the restaurant if you're just going to bring your own food? Most, if not all, restaurants have a policy about bringing in outside food and it feels like the wife agreeing to go out to the restaurant in the first place defeats her idea of saving money. Why go if you're not going to buy and food?
1st story: Also the fact that her friends are still staying friends with the ex despite knowing all the shit he put her through and having a RESTRAINING ORDER against him and the mistress says a lot about them.
My mom was a nurse but now she works at a rehab and she’s told me stories. The wife in the last one has a very high chance of being a drug addict. Former drug addicts tell her that this is how it starts, cutting corners on costs as much as possible, then they start to pawn their own possessions. Then they start stealing from people around them, such as family. One thing leads to another and they start pick pocketing. The only reason people really go to the rehab is because if they do, they avoid going to jail after they’re caught, that and family/friends intervening.
The woman who is having her privacy violated by her boyfriend's mother should heed the major red flags that he is waving. If he can't repect her privacy now he's never going to, and neither is his mother. She should dump the loser and find someone more respectful.
I just adore your little story about leaving all those little notes for your wife while you were gonna! That's genuinely so sweet & precious ❤ It seems like you really love & value her very much! I bet those silly little notes mean the world to her!
Last story: I think you hit the nail on the head with the last possibility and it goes along with what I was thinking it could be. This is sudden, unnecessary behavior and she's a healthcare worker right now? It screamed anxiety to me. Anxiety will hijack your brain and make you act defensively in the weirdest ways.
I am a nurse and I am currently coping with overworking with retail therapy. But not in a way that would ever have me take something from someone i love so gambling or alcoholism or hoarding to the point of mental health problem is absolutely possible in her case. I feel the pull to go overboard
The last story could be a mental problem: Maybe someone in her family or at work died of a illness because he lost all his money and had no savings. Stress can be a trigger. A friend of mine went through something like that. He saved all his money, never bought new things and started to do weird stuff like looking through the trash. His wife threatened to divorce him and finally he went to therapy. Turned out, his father killed himself because he had cancer and thought he could not afford treatment. When my friend reached the same age as his father and work became difficult something snapped.
11 месяцев назад
So... he pays all the bills and _she_ kicks _him_ out of the bedroom? No, no, no... thats _not_ how _anything_ works. If you don't want to sleep next to me in _my_ bed in the house _I_ pay for, then _you_ sleep somewhere else!
The first story about op who has a restraining order against her deadbeat husband and his mistress is that she needs to go to the court and inform the judge that she is not trying to save her marriage but that she is trying to end the marriage because of her deadbeat husband and his mistress that ruined his marriage to begin with
