r/AmITheA**hole My Baby "Assaulted" a Woman! 

My oldest child is a rainbow baby. That makes her special to me and my husband but that doesn't mean she gets special treatment! Omg the entitlement on those parents is next level.

Saying "I'm ok with a child free wedding as long as my child can come" is the same as a customer saying "oh you can charge them for services, but not me obviously I shop here often"

Wedding story: OP’s brother basically wanted to use her wedding as a way to brag about their kid

“You HAVE to let my child come! He’s special!!” He’s also 4 and WILL be bored out of mind, likely leading to disruptive outbursts that YOU won’t do anything about because you’re a terrible parent.

Their rainbow baby's birth is the miracle. The child himself isn't any more special than other children and shouldn't deserve special treatment because of the events surrounding his BIRTH.

If a grown adult is going to accuse a toddler of sexual assault, don’t let that adult near children. It terrifies and disgusts me to think that someone could interpret a small child’s touch as sexual and then call the child the predator. No, if you interpret a child’s touch or actions as sexual, you are the predator here, not the child. Edit: Put interrupt instead of interpret.

Bro, I don't get sexism. Having a gf that makes 5 times more than I did while I do the chores and take care of the house is my dream.

"I'm okay with your child free wedding, as long as my kid can come" is like saying "I'm don't mind paying full price for this TV as long as I get a discount." It just screams "the rules don't apply to me!" OP is NTA.

The family of the Rainbow baby seems to be treating him like the Second Coming. I wouldn't be surprised if they paid more attention to him at the wedding than they did to the wedding couple.

That photographer that was paid $250 and being told they weren’t being fed story was on a viral post on Instagram😂 I’m glad to hear the actual story now

"John is in love of how things were on his grandfather days". That dude clearly doesn't know that in his grandfather's times there were no videogames and people worked from sun to sun. Tell him to stop playing and work harder, and see if he's still in love with those times.

"Nuttier than a squirrel's turd" 😂😂 You're killing me, rSlash! 😂😂

Wait, so this guy had a stay at home wife who did all of the chores and made all the money, and let him make pennies a day doing a job that he enjoyed instead of one that made money, AND let’s him play video games all day, and he still complained? Sexism aside, he hit the male gold-digger money load and he screwed it up because of his ungodly levels of laziness and incompetence, how idiotic can he be?

The OP with the husband who doesn’t do chores: You have two choices here, either hire a cleaning service to pick up his slack. Or sit down and have a talk with him about how he is not entitled to leaving all the housework for you. You make five times his income? Do not be afraid to cut that chain off. Especially if he feels like he is in charge to the extent that you work 7 days a week and still have to do all the cleaning. As much as it will hurt his ego, he’s not the breadwinner. And he should appreciate you more.

The thing that comes to mind with the rainbow baby story is the brother wanted to bring his kid so he could maintain the spotlight he’s had for so long even at the expense of his own sisters wedding.

To the woman who hugely out earns her husband: I'm willing to do half the chores and not complain about it

The description of how this rainbow baby is treated and acts makes him, in my opinion, the perfect example of why the wedding should be child free. Tbh I'd say the best option may be to go no contact with the brother, and any other family member who insists on prioritizing that entitled monster over the bride and groom's wishes.

I feel very, very sorry for that pregnant woman's unborn child. It already hasn't a chance.

One of my nephews is a rainbow baby, and we're so happy about him! he's still treated like the other kids were at his age though. OP's family is batshit.

The last one is insane. Imagine being a grown man and still needing a babysitter because your too lazy to take care of the house YOU LIVE IN. I'm surprised his wife doesn't change his diapers too. What an A.Hole

If I had a friend that agreed to professionally photograph my wedding for dirt cheap, I would make sure they had like a VIP table for them

John: *Being sexist to his wife* OP: *EXPLODES on him, and shouts at him* John: *Surprised Pikachu Face* I would've done the same tbh.

OP: "I shouted him down into submission..." Me: *FUS RO DAH!!*

Story 2: I've heard this one a few times and it's a NTA everytime. Backstory for my judgement: I have a rainbow baby and know many others who do. I always say he was a gift from God after 2 losses (2nd literally nearly killed me) and tests showing me to be infertile. My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer 3 months after my 2nd loss and was given 2-4 months to live. I got that positive test 2 months after his diagnosis. Same with my brother and sister in law's loss a week after my 2nd and she got that positive 2 months after mine. The odds with my pregnancy were against us and nearly lost him 4 times, but he came out completely healthy just before 36 weeks along. My Dad lived 13 months after his diagnosis. He passed 2 weeks after my niece was born. He fought til he was able to meet his last grandbabies. My (ex) husband has brown eyes, I have blue, our son has green eyes that change color according to his mood like my Dad's. Extremely rare. But does the world revolve around our son? No. Do we expect people, family or not, to accommodate everything for our son to be included? No. Is he disciplined? Absolutely. We have never asked anyone to go out of their way for him for anything. I've never known anyone with rainbow babies to treat their kids like OPs. The story sounds insane to me. Insane to the point that I could see the family demanding he literally get away with murder because "he's a rainbow baby". The family is absolutely delusional to expect anything to be planned around this kid, let alone attempting to force OP and fiance to forego their own rules for their own wedding just to specifically give this kid the spotlight on their day. Literally, the kid would be the main focus being the only child there and would also anger other guests for expecting a child free wedding. I, personally, consider children in the wedding party to be exempt from the "child free" part of weddings, but that's MY feelings on it. Most people find childcare for children in the wedding party for after the ceremony and pictures, though. It's the bride and grooms day. Their decision, not the family's and this ridiculousness shouldn't be forced on them. In my opinion, their day has already been ruined for them cause even if they cave and allow it, they know where their family stands.

Re: child-free wedding story: OPs family clearly considers the brother the golden child, who shits rainbows and can do no wrong, so everything he asks for must be granted. I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s thrown his weight around and his parents and everyone else around him has folded. Whether this is a cultural issue and bad parenting, or bad parenting that started because of his and his wife’s fertility issues, or bad parenting that predated his fertility issues, I can’t say. Edited for clarity.

Story #2 this is when you have a shadow wedding. You have your real wedding CHILDFREE with all the people who actually love you. And if you absolutely must have a wedding to include those selfish family members, you have one (without any expensive decorations, just a regular sheet-cake, and at a place that won't get damaged by kids) then you can have a FULL ceremony, get the priest to do the long version, then since your actual wedding is already done you won't be stressed out, but those family members might while having to deal with that kid. 😉

Honestly, the last story is sounding like either the husband quits his job, and works the house while reevaluating his life (which is clearly doable, as when the theater was closed, he sounded happy and fine with chores). Or, you divorce him, since it sounds like he's not contributing financially, emotionally, or physically, and at that point, thats parenting, not a relationship.

You're the only person on this planet that can make me interested in hearing about their baby. You're clearly a wonderful, doting father, and I can't get enough of that. I hope your kid grows into a lovely woman, and that you keep that energy into her later years.

RSlash drinking game: Take a drink every time RSlash mentions his kid

the thing with the last guy is, if he did quit his job and did the chores, hed still have more than enough time to laze around and play video games

As a married person, and as a former creative professional who's been around a lot of weddings for work: the photographer ALWAYS gets fed and gets breaks. That's just an industry courtesy for someone spending that much time at such an intimate moment of your life. It's not payment or a favor to them.

Oh, that last one really ruffled my feathers. I'm a stay-home worker as well and my boyfriend isn't, and he absolutely HATES his job.. but our country isn't having the best decade so finding another job is proving to be difficult, he's stressed out and tired almost 24/7 but still he always do the dishes, the laundry or whatever we need if I didn't. I always thank him because I'm the type of person to do everything alone and he always responds with "Why thank me? I live here aswell". I always say he's blessed, but really? it's just normal behaviour for a grown man. Poor OP, I feel for her.

Story 4: We don't live in the early 1900s anymore. The dude is just looking for excuses to be lazy and play videogames all day while making himself look like the real winner in the relationship. OP is being the breadwinner and I hate that John doesn’t want to acknowledge it. Sexism needs to be nuked.

That wedding story with the photographer was totally NTA. When my wife and I got married, we hired a professional photographer that also brought her husband who was also a photographer and you better believe, they got food and rink anytime they wanted, and our pictures turned out amazing. Infact, anyone that was involved with our wedding from the DJ to the planners and the day of coordinator, all were counted in our food and drink for our guests.

With the "Housewife story": I'm pushing 40 and still live with my parents due to my health issues. My dad does all the cleaning, as well as the laundry and I do all the cooking (because I can't move about too much or stand for very long) Cooking, cleaning and sewing are SURVIVAL SKILLS they are taught by the military and are in no way "Gender roles". Decades back the woman did all the household chores because the man worked and they could live quite comfortably on one salary, have one or two holiday's a year and save up a decent nest-egg. Now both partners usually need to work, sometimes two jobs and they just about survive.

The last one-this could easily be solved by the wife hiring someone to come help a couple times a week or whatever. Also, if he wants a 1950s life with a housewife, he needs to get a grown up job, not a HS kid job. Rainbow baby story-just elope and save your money. Our wedding was $500 with 5 guests total.

Okay, so the first story makes me laugh because when I was pregnant, my friend told their kids that I had a baby in my belly and they squealed in delighted excitement and promptly looked up my dress to meet their "new friend " lol And I was not offended. It was super cute and very funny. Made me look forward to when my baby would start doing cute awkward things in front of my friends 🥰 It was just hilarious and people who can't laugh at the funny stuff kids do are in for a long 18+ years lol

I guess it’s safe to assume the co-worker isn’t going to breastfeed her baby…

The second story; I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.

The photographer story: How dare he only give them 2/5 buttholes? Their negligence literally could have killed OP. No food or water for several hours with no breaks in 110° heat? That can literally give someone a heat stroke, or at the very least heat exhaustion (which I've had before, it's not fun.)

The last story - the husband doesn't need a wife - he needs a freaking Nanny.

The father constantly wanting things done his way because of his rainbow baby is very unfair. It's not his wedding, he doesn't get to change the rules for someone else's wedding

The "delete your wedding" was actually on the news too 😆 i was hoping the guy would write it on pettyrevenge or something! He had all the right to delete those photos

The OP’s family wants the 4 year old at the wedding, to make the wedding about their special little snowflake, and not the bride and groom.

Instead of being called a rainbow baby they should be called a golden child. That way its a lot more accurate.

I have a toddler (21mo) , and she sometimes does things that make me uncomfortable because she doesn't know better yet. Doesn't mean she's a predator. The pregnant woman was out of line, but the other mother could've used it as a teaching opportunity.

I agree that the parent accusing a baby of assault is going to be a nightmare. What happens when their kid gets curious? Kids are curious about the world and we should teach them about it and encourage their curiosity. I’ve seen so many situations where kids are curious about funny things like that. Usually the adults just laugh it off. I’m reminded of a time I had my 3-year old step nephew sitting on my knee when I was about 25 (F) and he announced to the entire room that I was his girlfriend. It was adorable! We all laughed and thought it was super cute! The lady in that story sounds like she would think my nephew was a predator. 🙄

To be honest, I would LOVE doing the chores if it meant I didn't have to go to work. With all the freedom and extra time I could pick up some of the hobbies and skills I always wanted. I would probably have some voluntary or part-time work to see other people

Rslash : a woman claims she was sexually abused.... Me : Oh no. Rslasb :.... by a baby Me : the fuck bro

when rSlash mentioned the story about his kid spitting on him, I just imagined a baby sitting on a chair in a courtroom and it kinda made me laugh 😂

The second story just reminds me of how it was the best decision ever to not have any family members at my wedding

I will never understand asking someone to do you a favor for their wedding and them not getting to eat or drink. It seriously baffles me.

Third story: Aren't photographers technically guests at weddings? NTA.

Goddamn that one about the lazy husband made me so mad for OP.

The last story - What kind of movie theater worker would have all the weekends off? Those are literally the busiest days for the movies?? I used to work at a movie theater and I often had 14 hour shifts on weekends… makes me wonder..🤔🤔

As a photography myself whos done a couple of small weddings, photographing weddings is a tiring job! Especially a 10 hour one, making sure you capture every moment! I was lucky as a second photographer at a wedding to be fed a full dinner! Not to mention the bride being a photographer herself knowing very well that Weddings are NOT an easy job. To ask a FRIEND who is NOT a photographer for weddings to photograph your wedding for a measly $250 and then not even include them in your dinner nor offer them refreshments as a FRIEND, those are SHITTY friends. They were doing it as a FAVOUR. Not a job. So many people dont appreciate and value photographers and think they make bank by photographing wedding shoots when really they don't. Equipment costs, living costs, transportation costs. Not to mention it's not like they're working at a wedding every day to maintain a steady paycheck.

She locked up his playstation in the safe and changed the combination... OMG I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣 good for you OP! Your husband should just quit his job and do the chores. After a while he'll probably start to love it.

Story time. When I was about 4 years old one of my aunts got pregnant. My cousin and I (about 3) got really curious so we of course went to my aunt. She told us that she had a baby inside her, and we thought that she had eaten it. So we didn't approach our aunt until she delivered and were explained how she was formed inside her, not devoured.

There’s definitely a nice way to tell a literally child not to look up your dress. This woman is not ready for motherhood 😂

Me and mt fiance went through the same thing in a way. His argument was that he worked the town over and had to drive every day so I should be doing the cleaning and laundry and child raising while I'm working 40 hours a week and planning our wedding. So I finally got so upset and told him I am feeling overwhelmed with everything on my plate and need help with the cleaning. He's diabetic and would leave his needles on the counter forgetting to throw them away and not put his clothes in the laundry so I finally told him I don't expect him to come home and clean but I do expect him to do the small things to help me out like his needles and laundry. And help me clean up for a little while on his day off. We fought a little because be didn't want to but I told him look if I want to be treated like a single mom work do all of this stuff and take care of you like a man child then I don't need to marry you. I stepped up and got a job when we needed the extra income and even worked through him not having a job and not cleaning while he didn't have one. And now he helps. I'll ask him to do something small but the small things add up and help me get the big things done.

the wife wasn't increasing his chores she was giving him chores.

Regarding the last segment, I wouldn't say OP is being an awesome wife. That's too relationship-oriented. I'd say she's being an awesome woman.

the wedding photography. They were not being rude they were putting her at risk. Working that long in the heat and being denied water that deserves a much higher than 2.5.

Every time Rslash mentions his baby my uterus smiles lol 😆 it's great that there are good dad's

To the ladies out there: I'll happily be the house husband. My best dish is enchiladas.

I photographed a wedding (as a secondary photographer) for a the bride, who was my friend’s sister. The couple not only made me a cooler packed with a variety of drinks and snacks just for me (I was undergoing a lot of health issues at the time and could only eat certain foods), but the couple also wouldn’t sit down to eat unless I did as well. They also assigned one of the catering staff to fill up the personalized bottle they gave me if it ever got low. And THEN they made me several to-go plates with every kind of food they served at the wedding! They also told me at the end that the cooler (and everything in it) was part of the thank you for shooting their wedding, along with $100 for four hours of work. I didn’t even have to edit the photos! This wasn’t a fancy wedding where the couple spent tons of money, just a DIY wedding where you could tell everyone involved was donating their time and skills out of love for the couple. They were so kind and generous, and I was just doing it as a favor to a friend, so I used the $100 to buy them a nice gift from their registry. I totally kept the cooler and bottle though- they were pink and sparkly!

“Treating Paul and my nephew like that was appalling” Dudes name is Paul 😂

The wedding photographer is a fantastic malicious compliance story. The bride and groom got exactly what they deserved.

I stay home and my girlfriend works. However, I make more than she does, with my VA disability and Army pension. But I also do most of the housework and cooking. Because that's what couples should be doing.

Cool, anyways here’s a recipe for brownies: 1/2 cup butter 2 eggs 1 cup sugar 1/3 cup cocoa powder 2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/2 cup flour

For the 3rd story, how were they on a shoestring budget and yet had enough money to hire a venue for ten hours, countless appointments and a honeymoon?

What is wrong with that husband? Who doesn't dream of quitting their menial job, staying at home, maybe doing two or three hours of chores, then getting to play video games, whilst the financial security isn't threatened?

Best piece of advice for OP in the last post: divorce. John doesn't respect you, doesn't respect what you do, and doesn't respect the commitment he made when he married you.

Lady: hey kid, there's a baby in me. come look! Boy: *looks up through her dress* Lady: ASSAULT!!!!

Op’s family has a favorite and that’s the way they are backing him. That’s it. No matter how ludicrous it is, that’s their way of helping him win.

I was laughing so hard at the "breadwinner" making a fuss about having to do a few chores.

Someone should present the baby with a math test as soon as it is born, just to see if the videos and music worked.

RU-vid: Uploaded 3 seconds ago Me: goddamit, im getting slower

2nd story Oldest and only sibling so he HAS TO BE THERE. Uh...no, he doesn't. He can choose to be there or not be there. She described the nephew as destructive and loud, and the parents do nothing about it. I wouldn't want that at my wedding either

I remember googling this opinion about child free weddings - I don’t want kids at my future wedding, and was interested to see what people thought about it. I found SO many mumsnet threads of people saying that they would just turn up with the kids anyway, and that the wedding party could just put up with it. Wow…

Only thing with the wedding photos, I wouldn’t have deleted the photos. Hang onto them until they decide to pay the promised amount or more, but not demand the payment, let them come to you

If it were me I would not have deleted the wedding pictures, I would have stated that if they want their photos that the price is $500. The relationship has been ruined anyways sooo why not.

By the pregnant lady's logic in the first story, everyone should be in jail for battery for kicking thier mother's belly while in the womb. SMH

rSlash keeps bringing up his baby is making me wonder when we're going to get Baby Bloopers.

I also never heard of a ‘Rainbow baby’. I was thinking Gay or multicoloured baby’s. The more you know ⭐️🌈

Hell rSlash, weddings aren't fun as an adult either.

The last story with the "homemaker" issue. I recently left my 12 year relationship for the same reason. Ive raised his children from a previous marriage for 12 years, cleaned cooked and maided both of our homes, worked two and three jobs at times to support the fact his baby momma has never paid child support and when all was said and done, I was pulling the 200% while he got to do nothing and not even bare minimum. She is not the ahole. Relationships are 100/100. If he wants a stepford wife he obviously married the wrong one.

That wedding story is insane. The bride’s family is just plain insane. Those folks are going to destroy that child by treating him like a god incarnate.

I wish someone would tell me to do my “wifely duties” 😂 I’m petty I’d only clean the things I dirtied. Do my dishes, cook my meals, clean my clothes. No sir. I wouldn’t treat him like a child, I’d just let him stew in his own filth and starve.

Last story is hilarious lol, dude is basically a loser who lives off of his wife, what does he do in theater? Voice all characters in real time. Rslash is right theater job is just a guise

Story one could have been so easily solved with "no thank you, we don't look up people's skirts." Holy crap, most kids that little can barely even talk yet 😥 poor kid

John is "so tired" after work, but somehow "finds enough energy to play video games for hours on end"? Yeah, his "older times" concept is flawed, as he'd be working until the sun set, WITHOUT any video games to play with. Sound like he's got the mind of a child - a spoiled child a that.

Husband: "All I have to do is work and you can do the chores and cook food for me." Wife: "But I'm pregnant and I also have a job. Can't you do it?" Husband: "It's too hard, besides it's the woman's job to cook and clean." Nothing upsets people more than sexism. That's for sure. I'm just fuming on how this guy thinks the world works.

Daily reminder that you are loved and appreciated even if you don’t know it

For the last story I think OP and her husband should definitely have separate bank accounts.

The groom was a complete jerk for not even allowing someone to take a break for a little food and water. When I got married, I even asked around to my vendors to get a tally of how many people would be there so that my caterer could include them in how many people to prepare for. They may be professionals there working, but they’re still people, not freakin’ robots.

I got covid and listening to these stories makes me so happy. Thank you for always uploading. ❤

"She treats her unborn baby like its a child"... well, it is but I agree that what she's doing is over the top.

Story 2: Op isn't the Ahole. So I'm a rainbow baby and I was telling my mom about this story and she explained it a pretty good way "They may be special, but they're only special to you." Ops nephew might be special to Ops brother, but that doesn't have to go for others

Lmao the first story. We took our daughter to Disney World when she was 3 and she crawled over to Cinderella to look under her dress and see if she had her glass slippers. I'll have to make sure she's not having predatory behavior now. smh