The first story actually has another update that was posted yesterday. The mom's lawyer did some digging and found that the dad had been cheating for at least 10 years and used company money to do it. The secretary and the dad had been in a relationship for a long time and they devised a plan to get the company from OP's mom. The father demands an open marriage and they expected the mom to be disgusted and divorce him, thus him getting half of everything. The mom did the opposite and now the dad screwed himself. So the divorce is going to go very well in the mom's favour.
There was another update in the open marriage post yesterday. Turns out the dad was cheating on his wife long before the open relationship and his secretary just wanted to stop being the side piece.
This is why imo open relationships that are brought up in the middle of a relationship never work out. It's because the person already knows of someone they want to cheat on or has cheated and wants to justify it
@@Flarflenugen agreed. Of its at the start and one isnt pressured into it then yeah totally fine relationship aslong as both parties communicate. But if its broight up, whomever brought it up probably wants to cheat.
I was about to comment wondering if the whole "secretary wanted ops dad to have an open marriage was just the dads way of saying 'I'm passionately hugging my secretary already'"
LOL "But you're not allowed to also sleep around, only I AM. Open marriages are for the husbands only, the wives aren't aloud to have them too." Is pretty much what everyone of these guys think. That and "I'm going to get so much more sex now and she won't get any." Or "She's gonna be at home waiting for me and be SO glad that I came back to her even though I was with someone younger AND better then her.... WHAT!!!!???? She's sleeping around now too? But only I can!!!!" And then cries his pathetic tears before telling his wife that they're no longer in an open marriage but he still sleeps around and think that things with go back to "normal". HA Yeah right.
@@iszes LOL Yeah I might have gone a little long but in my defense when my brain starts going it just doesn't stop unless I stop my hands/fingers. ADHD sucks like that, and that was the "short" version of what was coming out.
The thing is, this just keeps happening. You've got all these "Homer and Marge" looking couples, and I guess the ugly fat guys just assume they're owed hot wives by society? Anyhow, the second you open the marriage... what do you _think_ is going to happen? For every abused country singer who specifically has a crush on you, your wife has 30-50 guys lining up to choose from. It's just not gonna end well. Also, in this version, Marge owns the Nuclear power plant or something, IDK... analogies are never one-to-one.
My ex wanted to be in an open relationship with me and his ex (who he still talked to while we dated) and I said no because I wasn’t comfortable with it and even his ex agreed with me that it would be weird. His ex told me to leave my ex because he was horrified by the things going on (I vented to him for two hours in tears) and I broke up with him the next day. When my ex found out that his ex told me to leave him, he was pissed at ME for following through with it. It’s been 3 years since then and I’m much happier.
The father in the first story is a complete hypocrite. He wanted the open marriage in the first place, but he assumed that only he would get to sleep around. But it seems that he forgot that open marriage goes both ways
He thought she wouldn't due to her values. So he thought he just had a freebee. However he did not factor in how hot his wife is and how tired of him She was
The vast majority of the time, it’s women doing this, not the men. With this exact mindset as well, as it’s easier for women to get laid than it is for the average man.
Ahh, yes. Definitely keep this subreddit in the rotation, rSlash. The words "And then OP posted an update" are some of the best among your videos, and this is a subreddit built on them.
For the last story, I'm getting really manipulative vibes. Trying to have her cover his bills for a year for nothing, then trying to sneak a gift clause into the agreement, and then being abusive when she doesn't fall for it. Glad OP was able to see the flag waving ceremony
I have read on so many stories that a loan for the down-payment was illegal, while a gift would not be. So that might be a reason. Don't know about the jurisdiction though.
@@hershy1594 Well, the gift wording would've been bad for her and the lawyer wouldn't care if that hurt the other party as long as their client was safe. But loaning money for a down-payment WAS part of other rSlash stories before and anytime it was an issue it was mentioned that this was illegal as the downpayment was literally meant as prove that you can put up money, so loaning that money to get another loan approved would be fraudulent.
I can't blame the woman who was childfree for wanting to remain childfree when she had always been open about it and I understand that it must have hurt like a knife when her husband chose his sister over his wife. But hey it's okay to go separate ways, people and their goals in life change. I can't even blame her for handling it poorly since how rushed it must have all been. She went from being in a happy child-free marriage to single in weeks, it's gotta be rough. But I can't blame her ex-husband because he did the right thing and what was best for his sister. I hope for the best for the both of them.
Not just that, but it seems like she wasn't at all involved in the process, instead being told by her husband that his little sister wants to live with them, and then later that his little sister IS going to live with them, whether she (wife) wants it or not. That has got to hurt.
@@robert-janthuis9927 I think it's kind of sad for both sides. It seems like he just really didn't consider adopting his sister as ruining their childfree lifestyle, and so just made up his mind without realizing his wife may not agree. Then when she doesn't agree it puts him in a rough spot where he feels like he has to make a choice. In the end he does, and I'm sure it was painful for both of them. Sometimes things happen and there's no easy way to handle it. I see a lot of people calling the wife selfish, but that's a huge ask. To expect your wife to be completely ok with you bringing a kid who (as she rightly pointed out) has another option when your relationship was founded on wanting to be childfree together is a HUGE ask. I've seen a fair amount of these stories actually on reddit, and people always seem to call them selfish for not wanting to take care of the child that suddenly showed up at their doorstep (either like this story or their partner finds out they had a kid they didn't know about from before). Also, I doubt she felt at all close to his sister if the wife wanted to be child free. It's likely she just tolerated the sister when the sister was around her.
Does anybody know how old his sister is? I mean at around 14-20 and beyond she's basically not a child, but a younger roommate; who is also your husband's sister. I'm guessing she has to be much younger than that for no one to be blaming her.
I firmly believe that the best gauge of a guy's character is how he reacts to rejection. There have been guys that I was actually kind of into but turned down for various reasons, and some of them turned into different people when I rejected them. Like, telling me I wasn't even that hot, that I was basic, a slut, a bad person, that my looks would fade and I'd wish I'd said yes to them, etc. I wouldn't recommend it as a litmus test for guys you may want to date bc that's just playing games, but damn is it good at exposing men's true colors. Dodged many bullets.
I never understood that rage that happens for nice guys when they get rejected. Like, did they think that telling some lady that she's ugly and should never have kids will suddenly get them to change their mind? But my favorite one is calling them a slut/whore. "Ah yes, let me call this girl that won't sleep with me someone who sleeps with everyone, but me apparently."
Exactly. There was this girl who I was interested in, asked her out, she turned me down, and then she got mad at me when I said "okay" and went on my way. I asked her why she got so mad and she said she wanted me to "try harder" like wtf?
@@tiredman99 Dawg, you dodged a scud with that girl ngl. If someone is playing games before they even date you, that's how your future looks. You would have always been the one to apologize & she'd expect you to put in way more effort than she did.
@@tazhienunurbusinezz1703 yeah this was back in high school I think. I remember just being/feeling really weird about the situation and just again saying "okaaaayyyy" and never talked to her again
@@tiredman99 😂 movies have really messed up our perception of what's romantic. Your response was the right one; she just wants some drama. I told a guy friend this recently - take the "no" at face value and give her space, and she might see you differently in a good way. For me, it shows that a guy's not desperate and that he respects me, which is refreshing and makes me want to know more about him
This best friend declaring his love story is just beyond me. I have been in love with my best friend and got rejected, which, yes, of course, hurt like hell. But we just talked it out respectfully as soon as I realised, I got over it and were still best friends as of today. This guy is so emotionally immature I can't even.
Honestly, I think the story ended for the best with the friend turning out to be a spiteful asshole. If he had responded more amicably, I think OP and her fiancée would have struggled a lot more to find a conclusion, and may even still have ended up uninviting them from the wedding just to be safe, and ended up hurting them because of it. With their "friend" turning out to be a dick, it made it a lot easier to just simply make a clean cut rather than worry about anything.
I had a couple guys I was friends with over the years that I liked. I told them. They didn’t feel the same way. I took a small break from spending time with them to get over it and then we continued our friendship. Like WTF is wrong with that guy?
Yep, same! I was in love with my best friend for years and finally told him, but he didn't feel the same way. It took awhile for me to heal from the heartbreak but I didn't hold it again him or lash out at him. After some time we started hanging out again and now we're still friends and both are in great relationships.
So, if we take a brief look into a parallel universe where she did fully reciprocate his feeling and was "leading him on." This guy had better have a major cuck fetish because she's been engaged to this other man for 3 years now, and the odds of them being celibate are... slim? I mean, you'd think he'd at least have the "decency" to sabotage their relationship and be an absolute fuckboy about it. If he were displaying all the "Nice Guy" flags earlier, she could have been warned much sooner. Well, better late than never.
Same, had a crush on a dude I was friends with since we were literally babies. Still have a bit of a crush, but not as much anymore. He wasn't ready for a relationship and honestly rn I realize he's more like cousin to me
Patently transparent manipulation tactic. "I wanted to tell you before it's too late." Dude, the wedding is in TWO DAYS. It's already too late. Deffo "main character syndrome".
think of so many books and films....guy keeps his love for his friend secret in the hope that she will see how wonderful he is and then realise she has been in love with him forever. When she hasn't realised how amazing he is and marrying some other guy, he has to make this huge declaration, which, in Hollywood and print, always results in the girl finally seeing him as Mr. Fantastic and he has the added kudos of getting the girl AND from right under another guy's nose (bonus points because he has befriended the fiancé). It's really cringey and super pathetic.
I'm going to be honest, that first story made me beyond happy. The dad got what he wanted, and he's absolutely mad she got a lot more attention than him. Go off Mama, live your life and enjoy the freedom without a useless husband and a really great kid! I'm so happy for her though.
It's a common theme in these 'Oh I googled poly and we need to do it NOW!' But whoopsie, turns out they weren't as much of a catch as they thought they were, while their spouse is...Then comes the 'I don't want an open relationship anymooooreeeeee' talk
@@yuhisarhim I mean belief in God doesn't necessarily mean strictly biblical. More Christians go against Gods word than go with so 🤷♀️ Each to their own I suppose. Not my thing but still glad she got rid of the husband eventually
@@MiraTheWarlock Yeeeee it's funny when they backtrack on something they were ever so passionate about beforehand 😂 Polyamory and open relationships are more complex than people realise!
@@yuhisarhim she changed. The story says she stopped going to church somewhere in that time line. I can't check right now if that was before or after the open marriage proposal. But I don't blame her at all for agreeing to the deal. He got what he asked for.
The story where the friend confesses their love when their friend was about to get married. Can we just appreciate the fiance for handling the situation so well. Didn't make it about them didn't place blame on anyone who didn't deserve it. Just calmed down and handled it like an adult. Cause let's be honest alot if us would want to deck the guy for doing such a thing. Or just be fuming with anger. I love how things turned out and hope the marriage is happy ,loving and forever lasting
you know with how well the fiance handled it, that the first thing the friend did after getting blocked was cry on some incel forum about how she choose a douchebag chad over himself and that he'd love her properly; And take better care of her than chad can. I just get the feeling that the friend did this straight away.
Story 3: I never understood the nice guy mindsets. "You're just playing hard to get" do you really want to date someone that would play mind games with you? Someone that would tell you one thing but would mean something else? So even if that no doesn't mean no, would you want that? "Leave your fiance and run away with me" ya, if she did that that would make her impulsive. And what's the stop her from doing that to you? Same goes with asking if they would cheat on their partner for you, someone's willing to cheat for you they're willing to cheat on you. TLDR; romcoms are a massive disservice to society, and Nice Guys watch too many of them
Yeah that blow up indicated that he was never a real friend regardless of his intentions like you lost your shot at stopping that wedding three years ago dude
Slight devil's advocate.... anywhere from 1-10% of cheaters actually stay with the person they cheated with. But is that a gamble you want to take? If you choose the cheater.... well, let's see if they're still loyal 2 years from now or will they miss the variety and/or the chase?
For the last story, the reason he wanted her money listed as a gift is that you don’t actually have to pay back gifts. You can say you are but legally no gift must be repaid.
So when did being in a happy relationship and getting engaged = leading on someone you've shown no romantic interest in. That is some moon man logic right there.
Moon men started living on Earth a while ago. Merely existing is sometimes enough for certain kinds of men to claim women are leading them on. Fact of life, at this point. And no, that is not a good thing.
He obviously decided he had no interest in a longer term relationship but didn't want to outright say it, just wanted to get her to cover the bills and get his own house by living rent free for year, true scumbag.
I don't think anyone was wrong in the second story. She doesn't have to stick around with children she doesn't want, and he doesn't have to stay married to her and abandon his sister. They did what was best for each other.
Though the way the wife went about it WAS wrong, she's only thinking about herself here, she said "you're throwing away our relationship for her?" Which is extremely selfish of her, and makes it apparent that she didn't care about her husbands feelings on the matter. If you are literally trying to compete with a child, "you're picking her over me?" Then you are incredibly self centered, selfish and not well. Glad he's out and that the sister gets the support from the person she trusts. Good riddance to the woman.
@@asdisgunnarsdottir2472 I didn't say she was right. I just said they both went about their own separate ways in adult ways. No one got hurt, they both got out. Happy day.
@@asdisgunnarsdottir2472 he already told his sister that she could stay with them before asking his wife if this was okay. There was no future where the sister would not be living with him. The wife only had two choices, either accept the change or leave.
@@asdisgunnarsdottir2472 yep, agreed 👍 She was being childish and selfish and if she'd even tried a trial period to see if she could adjust to life with the sister she might have actually enjoyed having the girl there, good times together could have cemented her relationship with her husband, if it wasn't working for her after a trial period then at least she could say she tried. It's probably for the best she walked out their lives, dodged bullet imo. A selfish partner is better off out the picture.
What I noticed in that story was that he and his uncle went to his sister first and asked her who she wanted to live with. It seems like at that point he hadn't even discussed this with his wife at all, instead making this decision unilaterally. After his sister decided she wanted to live with OP he again made a decision unilaterally without discussing it with his wife. Basically she got entirely shoved to the side and practically told that she and her desires and goals in life and in the relationship do not matter.
Last story: Minimum down payment on a house for a first-time homebuyer is 3 - 3.5%. So, on a $500K house, we're talking $15-18K. Add in escrow and closing costs, it's max, going to be $25K. He was definitely trying to scam her to get some free equity.
@@seekeroftruth6728 10% when agreeing for the sale with a future move date, as that date you need to have 5% more. That 15% uses a different term in swedish.
That last story was all sorts of messed up. Honestly, him even asking her for that ridiculous deal in the first place was insane. If he can’t save while still paying his fair share, then that’s honestly his problem; not hers. As for the “2 days before the wedding” story…that guy was insanely stupid. Take the hint. I’m with OP and her husband on this one; he gives off major incel vibes and needs to go. The whole “leave him on the alter and come be with me” mentality is extremely flawed, and he should have tried a move a long time earlier. His loss for sure, and him being gone is definitely OP’s gain.
For the last story....ok...BUT. In all my friends couples houses the boyfriends pay all the utilities and no one bats an eye, but as soon as this guy from the story tries to pull this with his GF ( and I don't say I agree with him), all of a sudden everybody is flabbergasted on his nerve.😁
I have a friend in an open relationship, and they are good together. Mostly because they talked about being in an open relationship from day one. It wasn't conversation years into their relationship, it was a boundary they set together, and they are fine with it. Open relationships really only work out when it's one from the start imo
I mostly agree although “right from the start” might be too soon. Discuss this option, but I’d say stay a twosome for a while and if there’s a basis to go on from, open it up 🤷🏼♀️
This is the thing, the Husband in this story didn't want an open relationship, he just wanted a free pass to get in a relationship with his secretary without the pain of going through the divorce where he'd likely lose the company. The husband figured his wife would never try actually going out with anybody else or taking advantage of the open relationship herself since it wasn't within her belief system, but he figured wrong because he was never there to begin with to see how she had changed for the better without him ever being around. It was never meant to be an open relationship in the first place but rather the Husband just adopting a new wife while keeping the old one locked up and alone in a tower to never be interacted with again.
@@DoomsdayR3sistance and that's what I found a lot of open relationships that start in the middle of the relationship are really. Someone already has stepped out or has a specific person in mind and wants to have their cake and eat it too. I have another friend that broke up with his boyfriend because of that exact reason. The bf wanted an open relationship because he had someone in mind, and my friend said "nope".
Moral of the 1st story: ditch church crowd and find gym friends. Strange that it is people who want to open up their marriage have trouble finding partners...
It makes me sad tho, because church isn't supposed to be bad. As far as the cores of most religions are, her "church friends" weren't it. These days, unfortunately, church has become associated with bigotry and homophobia, rather than love, kindness, and forgiveness... :( Not trying to convert, just feeling upset, because I've definitely had conversations with family about how so-called "church communities" are usually filled with people who don't really embody religious values at all, and just use it as an excuse to feel superior
Honestly, these open marriage posts. Gotta appreciate the one-sided logic of the instigator of "I can suggest this and screw anyone I want, and my other half will just deal with it" then the shocked pikachu reaction when their partner has far more success than them is hilarious. Need to think these things through because karma will come a-knocking very harshly
I''m going to guess that most of these "open marriages" are "suggested" by the husband, who may already have a target he wants to screw. What guys forget is that women have a much easier time getting a "bed partner" than men, as most guys will go down on almost anything, while a guy in an "open marriage" actually has to WOO the girl! These guys are pretty stupid for even SUGGESTING something like this and thinking their wife won't get any takers! Married 45 years to the same wonderful woman and I wouldn't change a thing!
It's funny how often it is that the one wanting an open relationship, without the initial approval of their partner, is the one struggling to find others to hook up with. It's like people actually want someone that value the relationship no matter how deep it is.
Last Story: OP you’re nicer than I am I wouldn’t have even considered paying all that for a year, if he wants it so bad he could get another job or do you what you said move back in with his parents to save money. Also everyone reading please take note of this and never signed a contract with out going through a lawyer first.
It's funny how the guy is being shady as fuck and doesn't realise he was giving OP some major red flags with his behaviour. He talks about trust while giving all the signs of being untrustworthy as possible. Also yes, always check over contracts and get a lawyer, people will try to pull this shady type of scam. The only criticism I have of OP is why offer it in the first place if she wanted him to reject it, if she already felt like that, it's a sign to me that the relationship was dead and she was still in a bit of self-denial on it.
I love open-relationship stories Its always forced, only becomes a thing when "affair partner" wants a FWB relationship, person gets jealous over their partner, starts fighting then gets dumped or leave, but their ex wont even care about it
I have an open relationship, it wasn't forced, it was a mutual descision to help him meet certain needs (I'm asexual, he's not). We've never been jealous (I've even supported him going on dates, and comforted him when they go badly). We are good at communicating and it's been years since either of us has been on a date outside of each other, just because we haven't felt like we needed to. We've been like this for about ten years. But we know it's still an option. But I love hearing those stories too becaue karma.
@@myheartismadeofstars I was gonna add this in on the comment, but thought it would be too long. Tried to implicate that stories of open-relationships are always badly done and end in karma when theres many that are done in a mutual way and works out :)
Yeah, about that second story, they agreed before they got married they weren't going to have kids and then this situation "forced" one of them to have a kid, and if that's a deal-breaker for the other then that's a deal-breaker for the other and unfortunately the only choice left is a divorce, too bad. EDIT: Hold up, I just want to make it clear that I do agree that he is doing the right thing, I was just saying it sucks that she's caught in the crossfire so to speak, that's all.
It's one of those situations where you really have to say "fuck it" and just do the right thing. And the right thing is to adopt the kid. The wife can go kick rocks for all I care
@@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00 the deal was to not have kids. The deal wasn't to abandon his sister if his parents died. Shit happens in life and you need to adapt. Using that previous agreement to try and abandon the sister is disgusting
@@An0nymous_L0gic She might have very good reasons to not want to have kids though and we don't know them. Here's one possibility: She's secretly a p***phile and thus does NOT want to be alone with a kid for fear of the temptation.
This EXACTLY what this channel needed. I like the stories that you usually read but feel frustrated because there are almost never updates. I love stories with updates because they give you closure
Woah, he actually did it! LOL, the first OP's dad is a doofus *Third OP:* What a horrible time for OP to find out she was friends with a Nice Guy™. At least her wedding went well.
8:08 -- I certainly understand the brother's wish to adopt his younger sister. What I *don't* understand is why he heck he offered her the choice of living with him and his wife before he consulted his wife about it. After he offered the choice, he could hardly turn around and tell the kid, "Nah, you can't do that. Guess it's Uncle's house for you!" What an evil bait-and-switch that would be for the girl emotionally. He really made the decision to divorce his wife when he decided to invite his sister to live with them, and I think that he knew that on some level when he did it. That's one helluva unilateral decision on OP's part.
I get that they agreed not to have kids and that he should have discussed this with his wife but he was thrown into a tragic situation and his heart was probably ruling his head amid his own grief to deal with. I just don't understand why she couldn't at least give it a trial period before throwing the towel in, at least that would have showed she was willing to stand by him and at least give it a shot and she might have actually enjoyed time with her little sister in law which could have cemented her relationship with her husband even more but to be so unyielding and unsupportive of him when the well being of his kid sister is involved doesn't bode well and perhaps it's a blessing in disguise she walked out in the long run.
@@marymitchell8986 Imagine how well that would have gone for his sister. Well, sorry sis, my wife who has been taking care of you together with me for the last few months has decided she doesn't want to do so any longer and has left. That'd really fuck up the kid even more. Kids aren't some kind of tool that you get a trial period for.
@@marymitchell8986 "blessing in disguise she walked out" sounds like trying to make her the bad guy. The husband already told his sister she could stay with them, he didn't run this by his wife first. She deserves to stick with her boundary that she's CF, and I think it's better for everyone (including her) that she left. I think the comments calling her cold or selfish are wrong. The wife's opinion didn't matter to the husband, he had already made up his mind and told his sister she could stay before he told his wife. He did then ask his wife but he was never going to accept a no from her anyway. I don't think there's any bad guys in this story, just unfortunate events. The wife shouldn't have to stay with the husband and his sister in order to avoid being called a bad person.
This subreddit is like getting a box of chocolates and gorging yourself on only the bits you love the most. Absolutely keep this in the roster, man. It's great!
The man from the third story is a grade A incel. It's such a scummy thing to befriend someone and try to split a couple up over his feelings. I'm glad my instinct was correct
The second story couldn't have gone any better. The age gap between me and my sister is 7 years. I lost my father 2 years ago and my elder sister to covid a year ago. Now, I'm her father figure. Its challenging but its worth it. Luckily, my wife's supportive. Trust me dear stranger, you did the most admirable thing possible. Your father will be smiling from heaven.
Honestly that wife from the story with the parentless sister can go kick rocks. Like yeah you both agreed to not have kids but this is one of those "1 in a 1,000,000" circumstances where you just have to say "fuck it" and do the right thing. Do you really expect your husband to chose you over his sister who is 11?
@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 but the thing is when you get married your family and your spouses family become one. And when family needs help you step up regardless of what you want and help out.
@@tiredman99 when you get married it doesn't mean that you automatically agree to raising kids especially when they were both on the same page about being CF. It's his sister so of course it's understandable he wants to help her, but if this means she'll be living with them the wife is not obligated to just agree to go along with it. I don't think "you have to help them because they are family" is something that applies to every scenario imaginable. I don't think the wife has an obligation to stay in this situation.
My friends J and C declared an open marriage. Now J was batting WAY above his class. He was a nice but goofy computer nerd, C was an Earth mother goddess. She was stunning and loved everyone, quite a few biblically. J couldn't get lucky no matter how hard he tried. It tore their marriage apart. The last I talked to J he was living in a dump of an apartment and they were separated. The open marriage was J's idea.
I used to have romantic feelings for my best friend too. I asked her out once, she said no. I sulked for a few days and avoided her for a bit after that, but eventually we started hanging out again and she’s still my best friend ten years later. I can sympathize with the guy, but every problem was directly his fault. Plus, a man in his thirties pining after his long time crush just screams Ross Geller.
Usually I try to avoid defaulting to divorcing your wife but divorce your wife. Because I’ll be damn before I let my younger sibling grow up in the system especially if I have the means to take care of them
Not saying that I disagree, but the kid wouldn't have ended up in the system. The uncle offered for his sister to live with him but she chose her brother. Just clarifying
@@renaofsomewhe9992 God forbid something happens to the uncle too. And who knows the uncle might only be offering to get money. I know it’s bad for me to assume the worst but shit happens.
Exactly. That post made me think of what would happen to my younger siblings if both my parents died in an accident god forbid. And I immediately thought, I may not be able to take care of them easily but I could do it.
While I agree the “choose your sister over me” this is too much, OP’s ex-wife expect them to be child free. That’s a hard boundary she didn’t wanna cross. She’s perfectly in her right to no longer be in that relationship when OP wants to cross that boundary. Y’all need to stop shitting on that woman for not wanting kids. Especially considering the fact that OP agreed to take in his sister without talking to his wife about it
@@bridi0821 not wanting kids is one thing, telling him to abandon his 11 year old sister is something completely different. I’m 100% against ever having kids, but if something happened to brothers and I had to take custody of my 4 nieces and 2 nephews there isn’t anything in the world that’d stop me. Same with if something happened with my partner’s family and he had young family that picked him for who they wanted to stay with, we would take in that family. Because when situations like that happen, plans have to be flexible.
@@SesshouFan22 she would literally be going to another family member so OP wouldn’t be abandoning his sister. Good for you for being fine with that but some people wouldn’t be. Having to take care of an 11 year old child is life changing and OP’s ex-wife didn’t want to deal with that. She’s not a horrible person for doing so. Especially when OP agreed to take in his sister WITHOUT discussing it with his wife. He didn’t talk to his wife when making a decision that would impact both of them. What if they weren’t financially stable enough to take care of her?
Rslash your missing thr newest update. Turns out Dad wanted Mom to initiate a divorce so he could get part of the company. This was spurred by the secretary who was having an affair with the Dad MONTHS before he asked for an open marriage.
If some asks for an open relationship, they're either already cheating or they have someone in mind. At that point, the relationship is basically over. Maybe one in a thousand kinda works, but usually it's just the last thing before the relationship fully ends and feelings are hurt. I always enjoy when things explode for the one that forced the open relationship though. The second story, it's his sister. His wife is being shitty. An 11 year old avoids all the negatives of the infant/toddler stages. It's not the same thing as "having kids" at all.
exactly and if you refuse the disgusting proposal they will just go behind your back, if they havent already. The correct answer to YES or NO to open relationship is the X button above that. Throw her/him to the streets, she belongs there. The second story: I disagree with the wife being shitty, if she doesn't want kids, she doesn't have to do that. There's nothing wrong with her decision, it's not her kid or sister so not her problem. These two just werent compatible so they went seperate ways. Also with a teen you may not have to change diapers, or have the baby wake you up, but the have far more needs and so it's much more expensive to support and puberty can be really problematic, so it evens out, if it's not worse
Story 3: Best guy friend has *15 years* to ask OP on a date, and chooses to instead profess his love two days before OP's wedding? Yeah, no. Guy friend, you lose. Good day, sir!
Never thought the webcomic Tax Reaper would come in handy this soon lol. While it's South Korean tax law, I imagine most places have similar rules. There was an entire chapter on the concept of "gift" when compared to "loan". If the US laws are similar, what "gift" essentially means is that OP would be liable for ALL the taxes on the house (I think it's what happens when you win a " free" car; you still have to pay taxes on it or lose it). So if OP's bf refused to sign a prenup and planned on getting a house and dumping her after, SHE would have to pay for the taxes and any other expenses that come with that.
The third story hit me on a personal level. I’ve been best friends with this woman for 5 years she was married to my now former best friend and after they divorced I was literally the only person that was there for her. She’s an amazing person and I started to develop feelings for her but I kept them to myself because she was going through a rough time with her divorce and I didn’t want to add to her troubles. Well she got into a five year relationship with this horrible person and again I was there for her to the best of my ability as her best friend. When the relationship ended this time I threw caution to the wind and asked her out and told her about my feelings.....she turned me down telling me that she only feels that platonic love for me. The big difference between myself and the douche from this story is I respected and honored her decision to turn me down..... and five years after this we’re still best friends. Hell we just celebrated our 15 year friendaversary and I’ll be participating in her wedding next year.
Wow, that "best friend" was a total creeper. It sounds like he was pretending to be a friend, acting like "Mr. Nice Guy" just to eventually get in her pants. That's pathetic. I understand that people can develop feelings for others as friends.. but to actually be delusional enough to think telling her 2 days before her wedding would work when he could have told her years ago? At that point, you have to have a clue that it's too late, right?
So, for that second story it's not that OP is picking his sister over his wife. It's that his wife is picking divorce over helping out an orphaned kid.
@@simplywonderful449 yeah. I am child free as well, and I don't want kids. If something happened to my sister and her kids became orphans, I would be a lot more hesitant to adopt my nephews if they were babies. Past that stage, I'd do it. I don't actually mind being a parent as much as I realize I am not responsible enough to be a parent to a baby.
1st story: best outcome. Don't want to reiterate what everyone else saying lol. But OP getting involved just felt a little wrong. But if they didn't Mom wouldn't be in a better place. Edit: 2nd story: man, I understand the wife a tiny bit. But when you are married unexpected things happen like this. If she's not going to help OPs sister then fck it. I got married when I was 27, wife 25. When she was 19, her mom died. She lost her dad when she was like 13. So this left her brother who was 14 at the time alone. A family friend took him in. He was kicked him out. He had no where to go. Their family didn't want him and willing to put him up for adoption. We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment. Both in school. Both working full time. Nowhere near ready for marriage let alone taking care of a teen. I was ready to bring him with us. Luckily a different aunt took him in. You have to be ready to step up to the plate. Its family. We weren't going to let him be fucked. You have to be ready to step up to the plate
What I think I like most about this subreddit is that because it's based solely on updates, it's like a variety pack of "malicious compliance", "pro revenge", "petty revenge", and anything that might not be part of the subs you usually cover
That older brother deserves better. Me and my spouse are child free as well. However, if something happened to his parents and his young siblings needed someone, we would do it. I love him and I know circumstances can't be helped. Those kids are his family, his siblings. I would never make him choose. I wouldn't abandon him when things became difficult.
He also forced her to choose because there wasn't a future where he wouldn't take his sister in. Imo there are no assholes in the story and it's good that they split up. I really can't blame any of them.
@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 For me it's not about stamping someone as a butthole here. I'd fully agree with you, had the guy just willynilly decided he wants kids. But in this case, he lost both his parents, his father very recently, to cancer no less, and it's about taking in his sister, the last close relative he has and someone he already sees as family. While the wife sees it as a choice between not/having "a kid", for him it's about being there for someone who he has had an emotional bond with for years. Not a friend's or cousin's child, not the child of some stranger, but his own sister. In my personal opinion / life, being there for family like that trumps "I don't want kids". I've been in a similar situation and became mom to my then 6yo nephew, despite never wanting kids. She didn't want to do this, and I can respect that. What I can't understand, is how she'd not see (or acknowledge?) her husband's emotional bond to his sister, and that the adoption is about more than "just getting a kid", much less her disbelief/reproach about his choice. Just like she made the choice not to have kids, he made the choice to adopt his little sister. Yet she seems to have trouble accepting that his choice is as valid as her choice is.
"Are you really going to choose your sister over me?" "Hmm.. Am I gonna choose taking care of my family instead of putting up with an angry b****? Yeah that... that is a toughy..."
Y’all need to stop vilifying this woman for not wanting kids. OP’s sister is 11. She’s a child. OP’s ex-wife married op expecting to be child free. That’s a boundary she didn’t want to cross. OP decided to take in his sister WITHOUT asking his wife despite the fact that it would be impacting her too. Neither of them are in the wrong in this and I’m so upset that all of y’all are angry that this women god forbid has boundaries she doesn’t want crossed
@@shykorustotora I feel sorry for whoever you marry considering you see nothing wrong in making life altering choices without asking the person it’s going to be impacting
@@bridi0821 This coming from the person who's happy to throw, not just a child, but her own family under the bus to keep a partner if ONLY 2 YEARS happy lol
@@shykorustotora when on earth did i say that OP should throw his sister under the bus? how on earth is letting OP’s sister stay with her uncle throwing her under the bus? She wouldn’t be going in the system. She would be going with family that also cares about her. What if OP wasn’t financially stable enough to take care of a kid but let his emotions take over? His choice wasn’t just impacting him. It was impacting his ex-wife. The fact that he agreed to take in his sister without even DISCUSSING IT with his ex-wife shows that he doesn’t care about her or her boundaries. Neither of them are in the wrong for what they did. Op isn’t isn’t there wrong for choosing to take in his sister and his ex-wife isn’t in the wrong for leaving when her boundaries were crossed. Stop shitting on a woman for not wanting kids.
The arguement of "Who do you love more?" Is the most fucking childish thing ive ever heard Like you are basically putting me in a situation where i have to choose one of two people. The one i wont choose will feel bad even if i tell them that i love both equally. Its a literal recipie for ruining relationships over stupid shit. If somebody asks you that question, dont choose them.
The husband who chose his 11 year old sister over his wife's objections is doing the right thing. His flesh and blood sister just lost their father. It is hard enough for someone to lose their parent at any age, but for a child, that parent is their entire world. She is dependent on him for everything. Comfort, food, clothing, housing, school, social activities, and most of all, guidance and moral teachings. The parent has to provide all of that and more. So where should she go? With an Uncle she barely knows, or her adult brother who is the closest person to being a father figure for her; so of course she chose her brother. OP was thrown into a horrible situation, but he chose his immediate family over his wife who just refused to take in a child who lost everything because it would upset and interfere with her life. What a heartless woman she is. OP is now able to see how cold and uncaring she is. Now he and his sister can build a better life for the both of them now that she's out of the picture, it's her loss.
Not wanting a kid is perfectly fine, whay truly made her heartless when she was all shocked pikachu saying "you'd choose your 11 year old sister over *ME*?" Like that was even remotely okay to say as an adult about a child. The audacity!
SO the wife didn't want kids.... OK, I'll give her that. But im sure OP and his sister didn't want theor dad dead. I mean how fucking heartless can someone be? "Hey babe, sucks that your dad died and your sisters life is being flipped upside down, but I don't really want to deal with any of that so here's some divorce papers." It's unfortunate that OP had to actually get married to find out what a disgusting person he fell for... but better late than never I guess.
2nd Story: Guy makes a life-Impacting decision to bring child into family without consulting his wife despite knowing her opinions on having children and agreeing to them at marriage while another viable family alternative is available and gets surprised his wife is upset, she then rightfully leaves him, Guy cries on Reddit.
It bothers me a lot that people aren’t calling him selfish since he technically is also doing a “selfless” thing. But the thing is he didn’t HAVE to. There was already a completely safe and close family member ready to take her in with NO PROBLEM. Instead he decided to make it a problem rather than doing what is best for everyone. And I think that includes the sister. She doesn’t need her brother to hover that close all the time. Having a brotherly relationship and being close and doing things for and with her WHILE SHE LIVES WITH THE UNCLE, would have been the best thing. But instead he does a “selfless” thing for SELFISH reasons and cry’s to Reddit. And Reddit takes his side ugh
For some people it does tho. There are some folks who are 'no compromise' on it even if they care about children they wouldn't take them in personally. Despite being childfree, I think I would take a kid in but I won't know until Im in the situation.
My boyfriend and I both agreed never to have kids, we’ve been together for 12 years now. Needless to say, we have always agreed that if something happens to my sister, we would fully be willing to support/adopt my niece and nephew. Yeah, she has every right not to want a child. But she is also using the BS manipulation card of “you chose her over me.” No, YOU chose to not be flexible due to a changing situation of a CHILD (his literal baby sister) and YOU decided that the decision not to have kids would lead to separation over doing what is best for this kid. I completely applaud them for both doing what’s best for each other. I just feel like the girlfriend really took it to be like she was being replaced or “chosen over,” when she can’t understand what that poor kid is going through. Makes me feel like if any major inconvenience happened (like sickness), that you can just bail.
God this subreddit is absolutely amazing, I heavily encourage covering this subreddit more. The words "Then OP posted an update" beings so much joy especially when the updates are incredibly good. Keep up the great work!
To the incel that blew up on op for not cancelling the wedding for him. How did she lead him on? She got a boyfriend, stayed with him for however many years, got engaged, and planned a wedding. Tell me how the hell that's leading him on???
Yeah kinda sucky the wife couldn't understand his feelings. Not to mention put herself in competition with his sister? Honestly I understand she doesn't like kids but there a way to go about it. Heck in separation she still wanted to guilt OP as if they did something wrong.
Im childfree, I do not want kids, but I'd still take my younger family in if I needed to and would take in my partners family if needed to! I don't think my Childfree title triumphs over helping an innocent child
I’m single child free and don’t want kids, if something like that happened I’d happily take in my little sister (we have a huge gap too 12 yrs) but you don’t really have to adopt the child… you can just take care of them idk why they’re fighting over adoption
Yeah, it's a noble and truly selfless thing to do. I respect OP immensely for what he had done. Still, I understand that not everyone would do this leap. We have to remember that not everyone should be a parent and if they are aware that they can't step up to the role then they shouldn't take it. Otherwise it's going to be bad for both.
man, the third story... i kinda know how the friend feels bc in highschool i had an unreciprocated crush on my best friend for like 3 years. i know i had no chance and that we wouldn't work together but i couldn't make my feelings go away, so i just tried to be a good friend to her until i could move on. i never expected anything more than friendship for her and when my feelings eventually went away, i was relieved more than anything else. THAT'S how you should deal with having a crush on someone when you know they don't feel the same. that, or break off the friendship if you think that's better. it's completely unreasonable to expect your crush to suddenly develop feelings for you when all they've ever done to you is being a close, completely platonic friend. the guy is an asshole and like Slash said, gives off major incel vibes, so it's a good thing OP kicked him out of her life.
“WAAAAAAH!! I want an open relationship but I only wanna benefit from it! Waaaah! You no go out with nobody but me! If you do, I will tell everyone you’re a cheater! Waaaah!” If you wanna cheat under the pretense of an open marriage, then get ready for the other partner to also look for someone else that can fulfill their needs
Yeeesss that last story. I'm all for sharing and 50/50 or cost agreements but partners in a relationship should be rlly cautious about big transactions. That first deal was terrible he'd be living off her income and she'd have no % or partial ownership when he buys the house and that shady contract he wanted her to sign was even more red flags. Always protect yourself people. You never know 🤷🏽♀️
The format of this subreddit reminds me of one I discovered the other day called r/AmItheDevil which (mainly) features posts from AITA (as well as other subreddits) where the OP is blatantly in the wrong. It’s very entertaining to see these people try to explain their actions. I’d say look into it if you enjoy that lol.
Came over from Spotify just to say; keep this subreddit in rotation. One of the things I dislike about some Reddit stories is that I always want to know what happened next, and this subreddit is perfect for solving that.
As someone in an open marriage, and who has been in open relationships for the last 7 years, and who knows several other people who are (when you're polyamorous, your friend circles tend to include a lot of poly people) - it's hilarious to me when a historically monogamous M/F couple decide to have an open relationship because one of them is trying to get away with cheating (usually the guy) and they grossly underestimate that their market value is not even close to their partner's. Then you got the ones who are having relationship troubles as it is and think bringing in a third person to date both of them will make things better. (Spoiler: It never does; it makes it way worse) Open relationships require communication and compersion (the opposite of jealousy - being happy that your partner is happy with other people besides you) and couples who try to open their marriage because they primarily think of it as "I'll get more sex" are infrequently good at healthy productive communication and almost never good at genuine compersion or managing jealousy in a healthy way. Open relationships aren't for everyone, and sadly a lot of people get hurt in the process of finding this out the hard way. Edit - it also helps if you aren't dealing with two purely heterosexual people. I find that in cases where the people involved are bisexual/pansexual or at least homofexible/heteroflexible, things seem to go better than two heterosexual partners. But YMMV.
8:24, you said it right: "She wants you to discard it because she's not her problem". But she is her problem, she's family and needs help. That is one of the hughest red flags I've ever seen, and OP has done the right thing.
