Perfect example of why neckbeards shouldn't reproduce. Not because the little girl doesn't deserve to exist, but because he doesn't deserve to be a father.
Why the hell did he trash on his 9 year old daughter's code?! She's 9 that WANTED to learn coding! Jackass didn't even want to teach her when SHE ASKED!!! The hell is wrong with him?!
He’s threatened by his 9 year old daughter who probably looks up to him and wants to follow in his footsteps. If she had asked to learn to cook and for etiquette lessons he probably would have been more than happy to encourage that. I’m glad she learned it and I hope she ignores everything he says. He doesn’t know it but he’s started the process of losing her.
Misogyny and he's being elitist asshole on top of that. People like that sucks and they are incredibly difficult to work with because they think they can do no wrong when in reality they are nowhere as good as they think. It just sucks the kid has such father. Honestly I'd be proud if I had 9 year old kid who managed to learn some gamedev and C++, because it's not easy.
Story 3: a tech bro with a daughter, here we go. Is it any surprise that he's a mysoginist, doesn't value the idea of teaching his child a skill they both enjoy, calls his OWN DAUGHTER cringe for being herself, and criticises her femininity throughout the whole story? Absolutely not. I'm surprised he has a wife at all. I'd bet a million he's been "casually" sexist to her their entire relationship as well.
He's also a bad programmer. C++ is definitely not outdated, and all the issues he mentioned is non-issues when it comes to a kid. She did amazingly good for being that young and without any guidance from the "father"
@@bbrodrigeshell i think her learning it herself was great too, shows that even at 9 she has initiative and intuition. OP should’ve been encouraging her, telling her how to improve and how to blossom her coding skills. To clarify, OP is a major ass for how he did this and how he treated his daughter. Just saying that that girl is going places if she doesn’t lose those skills
How exactly does she think she can fix it? What if he destroyed and threw away everything from her childhood? How would she feel if he erased her if she died? He should divorce her and erase her from his life. She's cruel and knew exactly what she was doing. She's not sorry.
@@Megabot_6000yes I came here to say the same thing!! Also, all those photos and items were for their daughter when she gets older and if/when she has children so they can know their grandmother. OP is disgusting
"It was love at 1st sight" 😂 no lady you NEVER loved him. You were infatuated. You can never make up for such evil nor fix it. If she truly loved him she would allow him to grieve and after so long if he was still obsessed with her and not his current wife you should discuss it like adults! Not destroy things like a damn immature teenager getting revenge.
I don't understand OP. He self admits he refused to teach his daughter BUT NOW HE'S UPSET SOMEONE SELF TAUGHT (on free materials which might not even be the best to begin with) ISN'T CODING PROFESSIONAL
Right??? A self-taught nine-year-old was able to use a language that even a coding professional thinks is difficult, and successfully coded a game? That’s amazing. Just think what she will be able to do when she’s ten, twelve, fifteen, assuming her dad doesn’t ruin it for her.
C++ is no joke too! You get no feedback when something goes wrong! I would have started her in like Python or Java, or at that age that sketch programming language that’s dragging and dropping blocks! C++ just starting out is super impressive!
@@Tustin2121 Java is a pain, I wouldn't of started her there. Though python is a good starting place. JavaScript, even though it's jank, it's a pretty decent language, it was my second writain language and where I grew the most
Right. Although I was surprised that a 9 year old would want to take up coding of all things 😃 But the whole "princess programmer" thing was actually kind of cute and wholesome. Shame on OP for being an absolute high and mighty douche with 9 year old child...his own daughter nonetheless...
@@lacko623 To be fair, there's lots of different sites that let kids learn coding and learn to code simple games. And what kid wouldn't want to learn how to make their own video game? I personally used Scratch myself when I was like 11 but I sadly couldn't fully pick it up.
@@lacko623 Speaking from personal experience, I knew I wanted to work with code and computers from an early age. I remember I liked to rummage through games looking for cool assets and stuff. Also, mods are an easy way to introduce game structures to children. I remember wasting hours picking at mods for Skyrim. It's not that surprising that modern children are having an easier time picking this stuff up, especially when the parents are devs themselves.
Op 3 is the perfect example of how you get your kids to never do anything ever again. Shes NINE and coding. Im 18 and i dont even think i could do one of those coding games on like coolmath or whatever. Its complex yes, but shes 9 years old and learning. God forbid a kid want to do something for fun.
Yeah, OP is a complete doofus. I have to honestly wonder if he is on the spectrum for not understanding why a 9 yo beginner's code isn't 'perfect' and isn't following professional protocols. LOL If her code works AT ALL, he should be praising her to the moon and back. And yes, give her some pointers. Don't overwhelm her.
@fdm2155 honestly that never occurred to me, and I'm on the spectrum myself. Not that it excuses him being an asshole to a child, but that does sound like a likely possibility. Hopefully op gets the wakeup call he needs from that post and gets some help.
It's like op DOESN'T want his child to follow in his footsteps. Most Father's would be soooooo supportive and be glad their child has an interest in their job. And she is soooo smart too. Op doesn't realize how hurtful he is to his child and how he's hurting her self confidence. He needs to wake up.and be the father his little girl deserves before he does so much damage to thier relationship that she may never want anything to do with him once she is out of the house
Story 3: I'm an indie game programmer with an academic background in game programming. I can confidently say, with myself as a source, that OP is the biggest butthole and that little girl is gonna become a star programmer and game designer.
Hopefully, her mother can undo the damage OP did before it's too late. Even if she's just coding text-based games, what she's doing is pretty impressive.
Hobby game dev with an academing background in developing pretty much every type of apps and I can confidently agree with you that OP is the biggest butthole, I can also bet not many of his coworkers like to work with him because people like that sucks.
For Story 3: Cringe? Your calling your 9 year old daughter cringe? Your daughter who TAUGHT HERSELF one of the hardest programming languages in the world... AT AGE 9?? Then you yell at her for making beginner mistakes... as a beginner. When you could have just been constructive and helped her. Wow.
it's total bs. i've been in the industry 14 years and make mistakes. no one makes perfect code. learning is a continuous process. THAT'S WHY CODE REVIEWS EXIST. total AH.
literally a super genius who’s capable of making BANK with her skills someday and he’s suppressing that and preventing her growth… either he hates money, or just doesn’t want his daughter to have it and he’s too full of himself to just be a good father and earn some extra gifts or money from his daughter someday bc he’s sexist. ik if i had a daughter or son, i’d be so happy, i’d buy candies and toys or upgrade their computer for every one of their accomplishments and encourage them to reach their milestones and make more games. and when they’re successful someday, i wouldn’t expect a cent! that’s my child! i don’t need their money! they’re the one who worked so hard for it!
At the least, he sounds like a jealous, egotistical prima donna who is just mad because he got his ass kicked at C++ by a nine year old girl. He sounds like someone who struggled with C++ himself and did not do anywhere near as well as she did for his first year at learning it.
Agreed absouloute asshole. I only ever write in c# myself I've tried c++ many years ago when I was still learning as a teen and found it extremely difficult. The fact she is learning at 9 and is actually making functional games is absolutely amazing. Her dad should've been absolutely proud of her for picking up on these sorts of things so fast, and she could grow up to be such an amazing programmer. I don't think there's really any excuse for his actions, even if doing stuff as a job makes you loose passion for it or even the fact it can be highly intensive and burnt out, just felt like he just wants her to stop doing it.
the wife going through the computer and deleting all of those photos as well was disgusting. this was not a snap, it was a disgusting display of “i’m here now, forget her”
Hopefully the OP knows enough that he can go to a data recovery service to maybe get some of the photos back. But probably too late given how much time passed.
I'm sorry but "Princess Programmer" is the cutest shit I've ever heard and her father is an absolute monster for thinking otherwise. Is he trying to ensure she never speaks to him again the second she moves out? Because that's how you ensure she never speaks to you again the second she moves out. Damn. I hope this didn't beat the love of programming out of this poor kid.
@@Alakaizer He could have worn a crown and everything! What a short-sighted moron. He could have had fun teaching his kid cool stuff and instead he makes her cry.
@@anagonzalez8972 He sounds like the kinda guy that would blame her for the whole situation. The type of person that goes "and what about your responsibilities now that you're an adult?" Waiting for the child to parent the parent
The "first grandchild" story reads less like OP is a devil, because she hasn't actually said anything or treated anyone badly, she just needs a therapist.
As someone who absolutely has been dealing with Eldest Daughter Syndrome, I understand. That particular thing wasn't a Thing for me, but other things have been. Absolutely therapy.
Yeah.....I'm first born married to a firstborn. First grandchild on both sides of the family isn't all it's cracked up to be. We had set the expectations and boundaries and paved the path for all future grandchildren. Now our eldest is struggling mentally and emotionally because she doesn't live up to everyone's expectations like her cousins (who are in families that have more resources) do. She sees the green grass but not the hidden brown grass. I let her know I love her and the only expectations we have for her that she Loves and follows Jesus' teachings. At the very least not to lie to us when she decides not to so we can shift our actions to still love her without making her feel responsibly to do what we say just because we say it. I've had to advise her to not worry about what Grandma or anyone else thinks. She's an adult and all we can do is love her, advise her, and provide a safety net for when she fails. She's not a disappointment or burden. I'm sorry for all my past actions that were not right. She's allowed to stay and pay $200/month for rent starting in a few months (rent money will go to a secret savings account to be used as a gift for the future). While Grandma is vocal and shows her disapproval via her actions (toward her eldest son and me....subtly towards our 2 of 4 eldest children (14 year age gap between 2 and 3), she's still loving too. The message she wants to make clear is, "Just because I relate with you, know you, love you, and strive to be on good terms, I'm also making it known where I stand and what my beliefs of your actions are. My actions are not an endorsement of what you think, do, and allow." Our now babies are the last grandchildren for husband's side of the family. Our relationship with his Mom (dad died in 2001) has improved and she's more available now than before (she's remarried and finally accepted our boundaries). If OP is shooting for a specific order, I recommend youngest grandchildren. They don't have to experience the learning curve parents AND Grandparents have to go through. Their expectations are better aligned with what it takes to raise a child.
I used to always joke that I wanted the first grand baby because it would be spoiled the most. I won't have the first on my husband's side, but I might on my side, lol. But it's a joke and not something to get all worked up over.
I'm the first grandchild on both sides and my little brother is probably going to have a kid before me. Literally never thought about it until this post and still so unbothered. I think her getting so much attention made her worried about not being the center of attention for once
I mean veterans and other victims of violent crimes tend to lose custody because they are unstable (rightly so) afterwards. They do need to do an in depth assessment and evaluation of her to see if she can function as a parent. This isn’t even that bad in my eyes since I have seen so much worse done by both sides of a divorcing couple.
Completely different because I doubt she'd use it as emotional pull. Anyone who threatens selfharm to keep someone in a relationship is toxic. And if they are truly su*c*dal would you want your young kids to find their mom unlived on her custody day? You do realize he's getting divorced for other reasons than the fact his wife was assaulted, it was years and years of mistreatment. But no Op Is wrong cuz he's a guy and should just stay with the wife cuz she's a woman and infallible...right?
@@jimdob6528i was thinking the same thing. If they are mentally unwell they should be accessed and until then, have supervised visits with said children.
What kind of psychopath hamstrings a child abilities. she is writing games at 9? that's awesome you should be encouraging that behavior instead of competing with her.
Story 2: OP is the one that needs therapy. She definitely looked at those pictures and decided that she was going to completely erase memories of the -ex- late wife, because the jealousy is THAT bad. The husband should leave her once the step-daughter does, maybe THAT will teach her to not delete s**t because of jealousy Edit: Okay, fixed an error. Don't know how I messed that up
I strongly dislike jealous women because they always make everything an issue when it comes to talking to women. I broke up with one girl cause she didn’t want me to hangout with my cousin who is female. Another girl and her friends jumped my childhood friend who is a girl because they just “hate” her and was jealous that I knew her for a long time.
I found it bizarre that OP called her his ex. And you used the same word here again. She isn’t his ex wife, she is his late wife. There’s a difference.
Bro and he was just too stupid to see that she idolized him and wanted to do something he did because she loves him. But he just broke that baby's heart be treating her the way he did.
“She’s a terrible person, don’t feel sorry for her. She was nothing but cruel to me during our marriage” based on what OP wrote in his post the ex’s “cruel” behavior was probably just her not putting up with his shit. That or not being completely subservient to him. Something that’s more a reflection on him and how he’s awful rather than her.
Also always a good sign in these posts when the OP needs to tell you where to direct your sympathy “ she was so cruel to me. Don’t feel sorry for her. Feel sorry for meeeee!”Obviously I’m paraphrasing, but I think we all knew what he was getting at.
I mean, there's also the possibility that she WAS horrible to him, and his vitriol is based in blind resentment. Not to say he's right, but victims of abuse can often become hateful and vindictive. as a result of prolonged trauma. He may jist hate her for what she put him through, and be excited at a chance to stick it to her. It's still toxic motivation, but it's plausible.
@@abiean222 I mean, not really. Do you really expect someone to lay out every aspect of their life, just to assuage any preconceived notions you may have? He may not be comfortable sharing the things she did. Telling someone that their trauma didn't happen because they won't give you details is kinda toxic, honestly. I get it, drama is fun, but these are still real people. Not everyone is comfortable publicly sharing their abuse stories.
Obviously OP is wrong for cheating. However, I think it’s incredibly stupid for someone’s parents to invite their son’s ex-wife, ex-best friend and baby to a party they have no business being at. Plus, how is anyone not commenting on the fact that they were only apart for three months until she got with the ex-best friend and popped out a baby shortly after that as well?
@@heavyecho1 I was saying it sarcastically and yeah as a former IT student c++ coding isn't easy to just pick up and to make it work is impressive especially at such a young age.
To loosely paraphrase TooManyAnts (a commenter on another Reddit post), if he uses this evidence it will show the court the truth about the toxic parenting environment, and the judge will be more likely to grant the mentally healthier parent sole custody.
That’s not how it works. R victims when not treated properly are a danger to kids, that’s a fact. Depression, self arm, addiction make a dangerous home for kids.
@Thecommentator-hc1fz that is NOT a fact. Depression, sure. But self harm and addiction are not typically things you see happening following an assault. Can it happen? Sure, anything is possible. But, unlikely. And depression does not mean the kids aren't safe. A staggering amount of parents are depressed. Also the wife sought therapy. He explicitly mentions that in the story.
When a spouse died they aren't an ex... They didn't divorce or broke up. Op in story 2 can go to hell. This coming from a widow really close to the anniversary of my husband's passing.
Extreme Jealousy - Imagine how selfish and cruel you have to be to DESTROY every memory of a Mother her Daughter could even have, because your self-esteem is low. Butthead - Dude, what a trash Dad. How could you not be so EXCITED that your DAUGHTER wants to be so much like you, that she created a superhero persona that does what you do, just to emulate you? This story breaks my heart. Cheater Ultimatum - Okay, we're not really going to act like him kissing a Coworker is even in the same league as her shaking up with his Best Friend a couple months later? Laughable. That was obviously already in the works on her end, y'all are gullible. 😂
She is 9...9....9 òh poor baby. I would divorce my husband if I ever heard him say anything like that to my 9 year old. He is a huge a-hole for being jealous of his own baby girl! I hope this is a sh*tpost!
Cheater ultimatum - maybe both were cheating and she was waiting for a chance to leave. That’s just my guess though but I feel like they’re both devils, he’s just more blatant
Cheater story - It sounds like he’s the one being talked about in that meme video clip with the woman saying that her husband “had a terrible accident. He tripped and fell into his coworker’s vagina.” 😂
Cheater story - It sounds like he’s the one being talked about in that meme video clip with the woman saying that her husband “had a terrible accident. He tripped and fell into his coworker’s [private parts].” 😂
Concerning the third story (butthead): As someone who programs professionally all of those "mistakes" are at most minor nitpicks, which you learn over time to avoid. C++ is a pretty hard language to learn and the hardest thing for kids is keeping on learning something even if it takes a lot of time and passions to do to it. Honestly I think the OP of the story is absolutely crazy! I can't even put myself the shoes of someone who can't get over themselves to support that amount of intrinsic motivation.
The daughter should of started on something easier, but if she's made any sort of game in C++ at 10, that's very impresive, he should be thoroughly impressed, and should want to nurture that talent and determination.
Right! Yeah this dudes probably just a JavaScript front end dev and jealous that his kid started with a slightly more difficult language than what he uses lol
As a programmer, that story with the programmer and his 9 year old girl really really hit me in the face. What an absolute psychopath !! She is interested in coding, something relatively rare for girls, and that's how he approached the whole thing?? Also, it would be an incredible bonding opportunity with your daughter. You can come up together with an idea of a little game and code it together, make it a fun daddy-daughter time, and code it in one of those visual-programming-languages for kids. She's not your coworker, she's your 9-year-old daughter, for god's sake... I hope she throws the keyboard in his stupid face !!
He's exactly why it's so rare for girls to be interested- they get curious and try only for a nearby guy to make fun of them for being too girly. Look how disdainful her dad is of her simply wearing a skirt while she codes or of calling herself princess programmer. Like what does the clothes she's wearing have to do with reviewing her code? He brought it up to her while critiquing the code. If he had a son wearing pants he wouldn't have mentioned a damn thing- even though coding isn't stored in fully covered legs. If his son said he was "Super Programmer" would he be as annoyed? I doubt it, since it doesn't involve a skirt, which seems to be the bane of OPs existence for some reason. The saddest part is that this girl won't have to wait for high school coding class to get bullied by boys who feel like she shouldn't be in the hobby- her own father started it early
honestly, i wouldn't even called op, her daddy, he doesn't deserve to be called daddy. that pathetic little man see his 9yo daughter as an enemy, who is going to take his job someday! so he bullied her, his own daughter, to smithereens. what an absolute DOUCHEBAG!!
Story 3: Programmer here. I first learnt how to program with BASIC when I was 9, and I was self-taught... but it was BASIC. The fact she taught herself C++ is nothing short of incredible. Even if her code quality was bad... whose isn't, especially when you're 9 and you're not that exposed to other programmers? Now I want to be this girl's friend and code with her. Seriously, learning C++ is unbelievably impressive... it is not easy even for a systems-level programmer (which is where C++ still shines). That father is definitely YTA. Even as a code reviewer you don't just trash on another programmer like that, even a junior one, but instead make recommendations without trying to break them down. Seriously, I would love to see what the "princess programmer" has developed. And heck, "princess programmer" would make a great book!!
Unfortunately, with her dad’s criticism, or actually downright cruelty, she may not get that enthusiasm back. She looked up to him and he crushed her. It’s so sad.
As a programmer, the story with the little girl boggles my mind. You have your child interested in what you do, and wanting to learn about it, getting excited for it, and you don't just lack the motivation to help her learn, but you treat her, a *nine year old girl*, to the standards of professional developers? What am I reading?
One of my fondest memories is when my son called from his new job to ask me the best way to make a change in a database he was working on. We now work in the same field and share work/programming stories.
Story 2: no I don’t think you do know you screwed up or feel guilty, or even care about your SD. You were jealous of a dead woman got rid of any and everything that had something to do with her and kept a secret for two years, now you’re crying because it’s the consequences. You didn’t even think one second that your SD might want some of her mother’s belongings when she gets older, you knew that sentimental items and family heirlooms. If you really felt guilty, you would’ve admitted what you did, you spent two years being satisfied with yourself. Worst case scenario, you have no one but to blame, if you actually do feel guilty, you’ll go up to admit what you did head on. Your husband shouldn’t have to disappoint her just so you don’t have to face it.
Story 2 they are absolutely the arse hole honestly I hope he divorces her she didn't have the right to get rid of those photos. Especially the fact the daughter now has no photos or items of her mother. How would op feel if she was the mother in the photos I'm sure she'll feel differently about it. Truly hoping someone out there took the photos and/or the items and decided to try and track the family down seen it happen on tiktok and the families were grateful to have them back.
Story 1. Please. Please bring that up in court. Your cognitive dissonance will be the one in question. Please bring this to the judge. You will be yelled out of court in handcuffs.
That first story set the tone for the rest of the video. Oh my god dude I hope to the high heavens that this guy never sees his children ever again. What a scumbag!
Story 3: hey I’m a whole ass adult doing programming for a living and I still wear a nice skirt or dress while programming half the time🤷🏻♀️ You go girl
most parents would be so proud if their 9 year old daughter wanted to follow in their footsteps and was able to do any type of coding at such a young age.
for story #4- have you ever been driving and someone randomly decides to race you, while you’re not in a hurry at all, possibly making reckless and life altering choices to “win” said race? that’s OP
Last story, If she was able to kick him out over a "half second kiss", it seems like there were more things going on in that marriage that were not worthy of his mention. His parents are probably better off without him.
She very well could have been having an affair.... His best friend moved in a couple months after and then they had a baby practically right away... Suspicious
It’s so weird how people love to blind themselves because they just want to hate on a cheater. Even if she didn’t cheat, didn’t even start to date his ex-best friend, etc. the parents are out of line for inviting her to an event.
@@MajorJim69 I think the point is that we are only hearing his side and it seems like everyone one around him is looking for an excuse to never have to talk to him again. I'm guessing he's the problem and even his parents know it.
@@sahar1213 Well murder her memory. Her actions actually remind me of how sometimes ancient egyptians would try and erase someone's name and history to deny them a place in the afterlife (because being remembered was important in that). She was trying to destroy any evidence of her husband's late wife.
Story 2 I think the wife is super evil. They say a person dies twice. Once when they leave this mortal coil and another when they are forgotten. The wife tried to kill the old wife again by throwing away all the old photos and belongings. Totally unforgivable. I don't know if the marriage will last. This is such a betrayal to the dad and daughter.
The fact that OP even had the thought, let alone say that about the assault and wanting to use it to his advantage is straight evil. If Hell exists, this man has a VIP circle.
Not only that but using her mental health as a weapon against her in any way he can. The whole post was disgusting. I agree he’s got a special extra toasty spot reserved.
There's a lot of commenters on here that are just as bad as him, that think she should lose custody. Now we know where he gets the sense of entitlement from, same place these people found the audacity to try to paint her as the unstable one.
STORY 4: As an oldest child and grandchild myself, I have thoughts on this. While I would argue that what OP says about grandchildren isn't true, I think it depends on the family and the perspective. In my family, I wouldn’t believe this to be true and don't have the same mindset as OP. However, my mom and siblings have told me different. My mom saw less congratulations with my siblings as time went on because she had four kids. How it's explained to me is that, over time, people around you (with the exception of family and ESPECIALLY grandparents) just go, "Oh, another kid? Good for you!" I don't think it's always this way, but this was her experience. With my siblings, they've pointed out that my dad's parents actually prefer me to them. I don't think that's true at all, but they say it is and they think it's because I'm a similar temperament to them and I'm a lot like my uncle, who never had kids and doesn't live close enough to visit often. So, if they're right, it has nothing to do with being the eldest at all. Honestly, OP is getting too caught up in what other people think. She shouldn't be concerned about having kids for the sake of the family hierarchy, but for her and her husband. The most important people when it comes to loving a child are the parents. OP should be focused on becoming a mother and loving her future child, not the idea of having her hypothetical kid being the center of attention.
Story 4:Man,What a child I bet OP is that one kid in 1st grade who always does anything she can even at the cost of attacking others to stand in front of the line in school,even though it has absolutely ZERO benefits
Nah this sounds like extreme mental health problems. I've seen this before, first kids have a tenancy to have quite a bit of pressure out on them and feel like they need to be perfect, especially if the family have this idea that everything they do must be perfect. They may also have something similar to ocd because that can make you extremely stressed if something isn't going or may not go the way you planned.
I know someone who threw a fit when her brother & his GF found out they were pregnant. She wanted to be the one to have the first grand baby and be able to use the family name (which the brother had stated their intent to do). Ugh.
@@pigeon_manpp This. That story read like someone who has serious issues from how she was raised and needs to unpack them. She even admits that its not quite rational and yet she's also projecting. Like her whole thing is "you have to be first or you're nothing."
A 9 year old who is coding their own games, who gives a fuck if the code isnt perfect. The fact that she even managed to donit to begin with shows the massive amount of talent she possesses. Boo on you OP....Boo on you
Yo. If MY 9-year-old wanted to code, actually learned enough to make actual games, I'd be super impressed! She was clearly passionate about it too, wanting to impress her coded dad and he wouldn't even teach her. And is it just me, or might the dad be a little sexist in discouraging his daughter from coding? I mean if my child asked me to teach them something I was good at, but literally did not have the time, I would at least make the effort to find someone who WOULD teach her, not just blatantly say, "it's too complicated!" Sorry. But as a swim instructor who deals with parents putting unrealistic expectations on their kids, this hit me hard. You don't trash a kid, you praise for what they did right, then help them on how they can do better.
Yup. It's insane how so many commenters think she is the unstable one in this situation when she isn't the one who is a raging narcissist control freak.
Back in 1998, after I graduated from High School, our family moved to another state. Before moving, I gave my next door neighbor's daughter (who was around 10ish at the time) a book on BASIC programming. A few months later i get a package in the mail from her, containing a printout of source code for a jeopardy game she wrote, along with the code on a 5 inch floppy. She had read the book. She had read the book, and learned to program her own game. I was impressed. She programmed it on an old IBM Personal Computer XT (model 5160) that i gave to her family.
Story 1: kinda hard hard to take your opinion on your wife as fact when you just ask if you can use her getting a salted as an advantage. I don’t care how messy the divorce that you wanted is, you thinking your ex getting a salted is a golden opportunity for you it just damn despicable. It’s actually a sign that you shouldn’t have kept your kids, they need a dad who treats us salt as a golden opportunity.
I am nearly 21 years old. I am in college. In fact today I am frantically studying for my computer science exam that is in about three hours and this exam is centered around C++. I am having trouble with some of this stuff and I am a grown ass adult. I cannot imagine trashing on a child, let alone my own child, who is able to pick up stuff that has taken me weeks to figure out. that is insane, not to mention nitpicky on his part, and furthermore C++ really isn’t even that outdated. It’s a great way to gain a strong foundation for coding because it’s a bit harder. once you learn C++ and you get an understanding of all the constructs and so you can pick up languages like C# a lot more easily.
That third story is just sad the fact his nine-year-old daughter stuck to it for like a year instead of just forgetting about it discovering some brand new passion of hers like what most kids do at that age shows that it’s something that she was very serious about this could’ve been a perfect opportunity for both op & his daughter to bond over something but because op is such a jackass, he actively went out of his way to discourage and belittle his own daughter, she’s not even 12 and he wants to berate her for playing dress up & silly little children’s games.
I don't think he cares about being a father at all. At least this post doesn't show it. He 1. Reacts to the idea of having to teach her something with disdain (something you're gonna have to do if u have a kid) and then instead of paying money to give her a teacher (the other option a parent can do) he just leaves her alone 2. Describes anything that relates to her gender expression with disdain (doubt that he would have brought up his son annoyingly wearing pants while coding... even though the clothes on your body have nothing to do with your coding ability) 3. Sees her so clearly looking up to him, and kind of views it as disgusting or embarrassing to have a daughter that loves him and wants to be like him 4. He hurts his daughter and calls her crying at 9 a tantrum... 9 yr Olds don't do tantrums. They do "does this hurt me or not" and then cry. He's so uninvolved he can't even see where she's at developmentally 5. His wife tells him how to parent (how are you 9 years in and know so fucking little that "don't bully your child, encourage them" is news) and he doesn't even believe her- he goes to Reddit first.
@@twistysunshine i’m legitimately questioning the credibility of the story because op sounds less like a father less like some paternal figure in this girl‘s life and more like some shithead older brother, I just can’t help thinking “no way is this man 36 years old and talks this way about his 9 year old”
I think the worst thing about story 3 is that he's not even thinking 'she wants to be a programmer, let's support'. his first thought is 'TAKE THAT DAMN DRESS OFF!'. He wouldn't be saying ANYTHING against his son (if he has one) if he did something like it. he's just an out and out sexist.
C++ is outdated?! Sir, for robotics is the most used language. I’m studying mechanical engineering and as part of basic skills, you HAVE to know programming, and right now I’m struggling to even begin. Mind you, I’m 24!!! The dad is 100% YTA, and his behavior is absolutely disgusting… I really do hope that little girl keeps programing and becomes a bad ass! I am SO rooting for her! 💯💕
Only partially through the first story and OMFG. I had to go back and hear it again to make sure I heard what I heard... and just... wow. My jaw is on the floor right now. Edit: And wtf at the sh*t dad in the other story of an amazing 9 year old teaching herself how to code.
Bro! The 9 yo learning to code by herself! And a father who is a programmer? It's like a dream comes true! God! please let my kids develop an early interest in a promising field, and give me the tools to be as helpful as possible.
Can we just talk about how a NINE YEAR OLD CODED A GAME!? Thats amazing and if she keeps it up shell be super great! I hope OP didnt make her give it up. Ill play a game made by the future Princess Programmer any day over Douchebag Dad.
Games come in a wide range of complexity, but even if it was just an extremely simple game like tic-tac-toe in console mode, doing that in C++ is mighty impressive for a child, especially since all the "problems" he mentioned were nitpicks that wouldn't even impact performance in any significant way... The worst thing to me is that he not only refused to teach her, but then had the gall to criticize her, despite her having to learn all of that by herself...
@@insu_na and even if it was a simpler coding style, it's a nine year old with the attention span and passion to do something like that. It's just impressive imo.
Bad naming convention? That's literally a stylistic choice, not something that makes or breaks a code. How is someone who taught herself code supposed to know what a bunch of old programmers agreed was the "optimal" stylistic choice? This dude is just looking for reasons to tear down his daughter. I'm willing to bet money that his real issue is that he doesn't belivee women should be programmers.
As someone who does code, I used to have terriable naming conventions, half of the varriables with named i2, tempy67, or other stupid stuff. But yeah, that dad is terriable. That daughter has tallent
@@mathman0569 Agreed. C++ is pretty advanced for a 9 year old. Unlike Python, it's not open source, so the resources to turn to for help are a little sparser. Plus, it's pretty finicky and not good at telling you what you did wrong. The fact that she taught it to herself is incredible! I hope she keeps at it just to spite her father, rather than let his cruelty break her spirit.
I realized the most messed up part of story #2. The husband didn’t ask about the pictures until a couple of years later. That means he was _keeping those pictures in storage for OP._ He wasn’t going to put a single one up, so the home would feel like their home. Considering all the compromising he has been doing, I don’t think the (hopefully) soon-to-be ex is going to budge on custody with the future baby.
lol First grandchild lady is nuts. I am the first grandchild... and got absolutely no special treatment at all. In fact, the youngest grandchild was my grandmas favourite... and she was the child of my grandmas stepson.
I second this, as both the first, and the third grandchild. My Grandparents never treated me special, nor did my other grandparents treat my cousin special. They treated us the way it was fit for our personalities.
If I had a nine year old daughter who coded, even poorly, I'd be amazingly impressed, especially with c++. I'd love to do a code review and point out how to improve stuff. Plus the princess programmer thing is adorable. What the hell is this guy's deal?
I'm sorry.... She taught herself C++ at NINE YEARS OLD that's AMAZING I look forward to playing games made by princess programmer in the future!!!! (A badass name btw)
Story 2: OP was one step away from trying to remove the stepdaughter from the husband's life too, in classic evil stepmonster fashion. Now she's about to lose him, and serves her right.
The programming one, a classic web dev. Probably using a web framework cause he wouldbt be able to do it without it. C++ isnt outdated, and it gets regular updates.
I'm writing production code in templated C++ with Python 3. Previously I was stuck with Python 2 and I've worked on side projects written in Fortran 77 which we thankfully updated to Fortran 90 and modularized. A lot of the code world runs on legacy code that would be an immense effort to modernise. It feels crazy modern to finally work on an almost modern C++ code base with best practices from this millennium. And yes I am in scientific computing. How could you tell? 🙃 Say a prayer tonight for the poor blokes in finance. I've heard of people stuck maintaining COBOL and Fortran IV.
Lmao yeah I’m a CS student going for a bachelor’s degree and you bet your ass they’re teaching us C++ as our first language. I’m actually studying for my final right now bc it’s in less than 3 hours and it’s worth 65% of the grade
@@WishGender Good luck! I know the first language I'm going to be using in college is java, I hate java so much. I think they're also doing python, and C later on.
@xElvirax I literally know of dozens of women who do this. I also never explicitly said men don't. I'm sure they probably do because Toxicity knows no gender. But they asked why she was doing it and I explained why. You may not like my verbiage but it's the truth ask a psychologist if you don't believe me
Me: awwing the whole way through the dad explaining how his daughter dresses up to code and calls herself princess programmer Also me: instantly ready to throw hands when he tells her it sucks
As someone who lost their mom at a young age, I feel so bad for that stepdaughter. Photos, memoirs, notes are *everything* Thankfully my stepmum is a great lady who never overstepped boundaries and let my siblings and I adjust to her slowly (she’s more a friend than a mom) Hell, I was lucky to have some voice recordings on cassettes so I can still remember her voice, and that poor girl has *nothing*
Coder here, the father dev story is infuriating ! Those issues he mentions are style issues (that you can only learn in a professional setting), nothing major. What a scumbag !
Story 5: I had a sneaking suspicion that OP was hiding reasons, and sure enough he intentionally omitted in the main post that he was a cheater (because we all would not side with him if he did mention it), and well we're not going to anyway, because that ultimatum is such a stupid idea. OP may still be bitter about being caught, but he can't force his parents to choose who to invite (or not invite), because he isn't hosting
To be fair, of OP can be believed, while I don't condone cheating, and he was fully in the wrong, IF the wife really was that bad, I can see why they might've both been unhappy in the marriage. Plus, wife dumps OP, suddenly, best friend moves in with ex-wife, and they're together 3 months later...the whole story kind of stinks... 😃
@@lacko623 Also, hearing from someone else that your husband kissed someone briefly at a party and throwing them out of the house immediately, without talking about it at all, sounds crazy.
@@carlosdutra8266 it could have been that OPs ex-wife was was already cheating or close to cheating with OPs ex BFF and was looking for a excuse to get rid of OP
I have never cheated, I have been cheated on and ended it over the infidelity. But if the story is true as the OP told it. Even I think the wife's reaction to a literal moment of shittiness is extreme. And so is rslash's calling him a cheater in that tone of utter contempt. There is a massive chasm between a single drunken kiss at a work function. (Again, something I have never done, so don't think I'm trying to justify my own actions.) To a months long emotional affair followed by a long weekend in Portugal. The latter was what my one unfaithful partner did, and I honestly believe I could forgive the former. Especially if it really was just a momentary lapse.
This. He should be floating on a cloud of fatherly pride and boring the pants off his coworkers with endless stories about his little programmer princess: - "Yesterday, she asked me to do a code review. Isn't that just aDOrable?" - "Yes, Bob, but can we get back to work now?" - "Hold on, let me show you how she named her variables. You're going to die of cute." - /sighs
@@NicolasSorzano-nm3uwI think it’s from a book. It’s the question: would you rather be alone in the forest with a man or a bear? A lot of women (most) choose the bear, since they typically leave you alone if you don’t agitate them. It’s sadly more likely for a man to attack a woman. Hence, women choose the bear. Hope that explains it!
@@NicolasSorzano-nm3uw I think it's based around this hypothetical that was asked to women saying "Would you rather encounter a man or a bear in the woods?" and the majority of those asked said "Bear."
@@NicolasSorzano-nm3uwIt’s based on a current trend asking what would women prefer, being stuck in the woods with a man, or stuck in the woods with a bear? Most choose bear because the bear is an assured evil, but the man (particularly one prone to misogynistic tendencies) is a mystery and may either be helpful or somehow more disgusting and horrific than the bear ever could be
yeah i usually defend ops in Reddits but 2nd Op What the hell?! What were u thinking of destroying Dead Wife of your husband and daughter? u snappeed?! no 2nd Op u screw up big time and Karama is coming for you 2nd Op and will punished you for doing that unforgivable!
I absolutely hate, _hate_ when people who have done unforgivable things ask "what can I do to fix this?" Relationships are not toys that you can patch up with a bit of glue. They are deep connections you have with other people, and if you treat them like toys, you don't deserve to have any.
I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years. She lost her husband to work related cancer 10 years ago. Her house is FULL of pictures of him. Even though I've been fighting his ghost until recently I would NEVER try to erase him from her and their child's life.
Story 2, im only half way theough but I am absolutely sick over it. What the hell, this isn't just a momentary flash of jealousy. Throwing away one box, realizing youre a monster for doing it, and pulling it back out of the trash is a momentary flash of jealousy. Throwing stuff away, taking stuff to a place to be donated, and deleting photos off a computer is inhumane, evil, brain rotting jealousy that's a window into OP's soul.
4:30 she wrote ex. She was not an ex. She is HIS DEAD WIFE. This swept every sympathy I had for her struggles. Also a reminder: Don't marry a widow if you can't handle the thought having a "spirit" there. You wouldn't be even a consideration if their late spouse were alive.
The second story: Yikes! OP is not a grown woman. She's nothing more than an overgrown middle school mean girl who peaked at age 12 and has the emotional maturity of a five-year-old. Notice how she's only “sorry” because she essentially napalmed her marriage. Due to her massive insecurities and jealousy she felt regarding her husband's late wife, she threw away irreplaceable mementos in a bid to erase her. She goes on and on about how “guilty” she feels or stressed she is being newly pregnant but she created this stressful situation. If she didn't want to have to deal with living in the shadow of a previous spouse, then she shouldn't have married a widower. All of her updates reek of deflection, projection, excuses, playing the reverse victim and the narcissist's signature tune 🎵 me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me 🎶 I think it's safe to say beyond a shadow of a doubt that OP has burned a bridge that can't be repaired. I look forward to the update where she bemoans the trials and tribulations of being a divorced single mother. On a related note, had this story been about a woman bringing a teenage daughter into her second marriage and being jealous of her husband's first wife, I swear it could have been about my former friend. Seriously, everything OP did in this story sounds scarily similar to my former friend. Vainly insecure, she always had to be in the spotlight, have all eyes on her, get the last word and stroke her fragile ego by “winning” whatever conflict she dreamed up in her diseased mind. Perpetually consumed with her immediate momentary sense of gratification in coming out on top, in whatever drama she conjured up out of thin air, she never once thought about the big picture or the long-lasting consequences as a result of her toxic behavior. She destroyed every single relationship she ever had. She's been persona non grata to her extended family for years. Hell, even her own children moved out at their earliest convenience, have very little if anything to do with her, barred her from seeing her grandchildren and her second marriage is crumbling fast. Or so I heard. Like OP, I very much doubt she,has the ability to self-reflect and see that she is the root cause of all the problems in her life.
I have terminal cancer, and I’m going to die in 2-5 years. The story about the wife that passed away RIPS MY HEART OUT! It would tear me, my husband and my kids at the idea of me being erased from their lives…. Horrible. My husband wouldn’t marry someone that insecure about me… 💔💔💔
Even if op 1s wife was an absolutely awful, terrible person, her being assaulted doesnt have any influence on that. Assault will affects ones mental health yes, but it sounds like shes in therapy and trying to recover. (Probably recovering from having an absolute shitbag for a husband too.) I hope op loses that custody battle, because if hes trying to use his WIFES assualt (or ex wife now ig) against her, im terrified of what hed say or do to one of his kids if they were assaulted or abused by someone.
When my Dad and step mom got together, they blended their mementos of their deceased spouses. There was never any question of removing the existing past in their lives. This new wife CANNOT fix this! What she did was TOO ruthless and thorough.
Oh my god with the coding guy.. like dude she's your daughter and she's 9... also wdym silly outfits? dudes a veteran and literally doesn't know what programmer socks are??
My abusive ex left me for someone else and then that person abused her. I don’t have any sympathy for her. When she told me about what happened I told her “and? How does your own medicine feel? How did it feel to live every day like you’re walking on eggshells?”
