These kinds of “pranks” that are so common these days have gone too far. There’s nothing funny about traumatizing people, especially by staging a kidnapping of them. Regardless of the motive behind it, that’s still a crime.
My parents were chronic swingers and frequently chose "being" with other couples over me and my brother throughout our entire childhoods. It got so bad that we'd have to babysit the other couple's kids so that they wouldn't have to pay for childcare. OP absolutely has every single right to deny her birthgivers the privilege of being her parents. After watching through the rest of the post, I think I can agree with RSlash, she saw this coming for years.
Exactly, a lot of people reacted to the original post saying there was something wrong with her and it wasn't her business but then who's is it? She deserved to know what she was dealing with and was proven right, probably because she already lost trust in both parents and had been trying to act like the good daughter.
@@angterrastriker6535I usually say biological relative, but birthgiver is a really nice term I think I’ll start using! Been no contact for 6 years, mother also chose to sleep with random dudes instead of parenting, so as a child I was fully responsible for my brother, a kid caring for a kid, but like with plenty psychological and physical violence. Not sure what term to use for my brother tho, been NC for 6 years with him too (he was the golden child and violent one), normally I just use biological relative, there’s probably a better term out there tho?
So basically YOU had to babysit your brother and any other kids there since he was the Golden Child. Abused mentally, physically, emotionally and parentalized. Only share your truth with those you feel truly comfortable with. Tell others it's not a subject up for discussion, period. Hope you've gotten some therapy to help work thru the past bcs it definitely affects our present and futures. Best of luck with all you do!
As someone on the spectrum, I can safely say *KIDNAPPING PRANKS* aren’t normal. Yeah, maybe social ineptness and not immediately understanding something, at least in my case, but COME ON!
@@MixelMan0106 I’m on the spectrum as well and even I know that it’s not right ( yet I’ve been following a news story where a kid’s parent said that the child’s adhd was to blame for what he did)
@MixelMan0106 if I'm remembering the story correctly, there were 3 guys, one is the fiancé's best friend from childhood, then 2 other guys from his gym. The original idea was for them to drive up in ski masks, hand her a note saying she was being summoned by her boyfriend, resistance was futile, and she would laugh and get in the car on her own without a headbag, willingly and knowing where she was going and that these guys were sent by her boyfriend and wouldn't hurt her, so kidnapping in the lightest possible interpretation of the word. Then, after leaving the boyfriend now fiancé to pick her up, the 2 gym bros (influenced by RU-vid pranksters I guess) decided to "make it more fun" and turned it into a real kidnapping with a side order of sexual harassment, while the childhood best friend (who I'm assuming is the one on the spectrum) was driving and was frequently questioning whether or not they were taking things too far, that he didn't think it was funny, etc, in which case I would be inclined to give him some grace due to his autism, so not entirely cut him out immediately for his participation, which I would not extend to the other 2 pranksters
I hate when someone gets in trouble but "it's not THEIR fault!" They have [insert neurodivergent disorder here]... It is the same with mental health... It can be a reason as to "why" they did something wrong but never an excuse for their misdeeds...
Trust me, teens might not always be able to put it into words, but they know when their homelife is off. My parents were abusive, they had a terrible marriage with lots of abuse and their divorce was even worse. my therapist met with them and after one session with them, she was helping me to get emancipated. I was 15/16 at the time. I ended up graduating early and moving away for Uni.
I was in the same situation as a kid, though I didn’t have your strength to tell someone and get out until I was older. One thing that is telling to me is that OP stated her parents were gaslighting her about what was and wasn’t real.
@@danielbrant6740 Yea... there is a lot more to that story as to how I ended up at the therapist in the first place... It was more like 20 minutes alone in a room with my parents a few months before they divorced.
@@1bendykat Yea. that kind of emotional abuse can be so hard to explain. You know something is wrong, but you also also being told everything is fine and it is just in your head...
@@slothdance2020 thank you for this. On some level I blame myself for not realizing that my abuse was abuse until I got out of the house and gained perspective. I guess the lesson here is that we all need to give ourselves the grace we deserve.
I'm on the spectrum too and agree, it's not an excuse. But it is a possible explanation for how he got sucked in. People on the spectrum tend to be easier to manipulate because we don't get social norms and many try to fit in and belong doing weird stuff in the process (I know I did as a kid for sure and my classmates only had to tell me everybody did it. In that case it was just to embarrass me and that's not something my brain got, so YAY for my brain). Even in the original story one of those guys in the car started regretting his actions a little bit when he saw it play out but the other two pushed him to keep going. I suspect that was the guy on the spectrum. But we'll never know for sure. He still deserves punishment though. But at least he apologised, we can't say that for the other two, who need to get their brains checked, I think.
@@ammalyrical5646 As somebody who is also on the spectrum, yeah. I'm lucky enough to have never been pressured into doing something, but I absolutely could have been. Now, I'm not making excuses for the guy. He deserves some kind of punishment.
I have a feeling this person was the one that iirc was driving and telling the others to tone it done through the whole thing? They probably didn't imagine what would happen when he was invited to "let's pretend to whisk away friend's gf so he can propose"
Yeah, the one that was on the Spectrum was a friend of the now fiance and the original plan was for the guys to just jump out and scare her and then hand her an invitation to the cabin so the boyfriend could propose but the two guys and not the friend decided to kick it up 11 go through with the whole fake kidnapping scheme. The friend did tell them the whole time that they should stop and that it was a bad idea and when they eventually showed up at the cabin, the boyfriend was indeed confused what the deal was and why his girlfriend was crying like that. She admitted in the previous video where the story is mentioned that she recognized the similarity to the Friends vehicle but, she didn't realize it was his and was on the phone with her sister or something and said she was concerned and that she sent sister location and then I think she had bent down or was doing something and when she looked up again, the vehicle was right alongside of her and the door opened and one of the two guys, pulled her inside and was doing all kinds of creepy stuff up to and including rubbing on the inside of her thigh while mentioning all the things he's going to do to her. Yeah, that's not something sane people do.
The parents in the first story were gaslighting OP for an entire year at least, if not her whole life. She mentioned several times where she noticed something, and her parents told her she was imaging things. She probably felt a sense of relief finding out she's not crazy and that her parents are just assholes.
Well her parents are not just assholes, I'd say calling them AHs are too nice and even an offence to AHs...what her parents really are is criminals, they are commiting crimes and abuses left and right...ffs the "dad" is a predator and he forced the victim to get an abortion. The psycho "mom" is stalking and who knows what more the ex boyfriend, OP said she's trying to break his marriage so she probably are forging stuff and trying to create a rift on the poor guy's marriage.
Exactly. Also, the idea that she was expected to make life altering decisions but being called an asshole for wanting to know _why_ she needed to make life altering decisions was so wild. If the parent had been writing to AITA to ask about whether to tell the kid about cheating, Reddit would bend over backwards to tell them to tell their child in an age appropriate way, to be up front, etc, but because a *child* is initiating the request for transparency, she needs to sit down, shut up, and do what her parents say.
as someone who has two "A-whoop-loop" divorced parents, I can confirm she feels relieved 😅 one of the very few "relieving" experiences I had with either of mine was when my mom had an atopic pregnancy going awry with my (now ex-)step father and had to do a histerectomy... my step father might have been a good father (for my awesome experiences with him and how much abuse he endured from my mom before that and still took care of her when she had an accident, as if she didn't verbally abuse him a lot through the years of recovery), but my only thought getting the news was "thank god she'll not have a chance to eff up another kid mentally with mental, verbal and physical abuse"... and I'm an atheist 🤣🤣🤣
For story one I see alot of people saying the 14 year old is mature... unfortunately any time you think to yourself "that kid is mature for their age!" that's a sign that you can see the child is neglected. Kids don't need to be that mature unless their parents are either bad parents or they are living in destitute situations. OP in story one was NEVER the asshole.
This! I was constantly told by the time I was 12 that I was very mature for my age. The reality was I was being severely abused by my grandparents, who were emotionally and verbally abusive. They constantly gaslit me. My grandma threatened to beat me and said I deserved to be beaten. My grandfather continually sexually harassed me. He touched my thighs and butt even despite me telling him to stop. He also made extremely creepy comments. I had to be mature to make a plan to escape. Thinking about my plan to escape was the only thing to keep me from ending it.
@@Juzokinnie I'm so sorry to hear you went through all of that, but I'm glad you didnt commit and that you managed to get out. I hope you're doing okay now and your healing process is going smoothly, You're doin great❤
If the OP was the one saying "my parents know my passwords, logged into all my social media and read all my messages and emails" everyone would be calling them abusive and assholes. But she doesn't get to be one because she's 14? That was incredibly abusive and out of the line! Someone's gonna grow up without knowing how to handle NO's
That 14-year-old’s resilience is rather commendable. They followed their instincts and didn’t hold back with them. I feel so bad for the situation, but I’m glad they got some sort of explanation.
one of the nice perks about teens growing up these days is the ones who actually use technology and social media intelligently have a world of opportunity to educate themselves and become independent of shitty parents like these
I do think he reluctance to go to individual therapy shows she still has a lot of growing to do though. She's just been through a very traumatic experience and I hope she gets help processing it.
OP literally risked being labeled as TA on Reddit and still managed to push forth to finding out about the parents and their reasoning for divorce. I tip my hat to her. Edit: wow. Everyone's making a big deal about my "risked being labeled an AH". It's really not that serious, folks. It was more or less me attempting a little humor. Chill.
Dude the amount of people calling OP the butthole in story 1 had my BLOOD BOILING!!! “It’s none of your business” it is when her family and everything she knows is literally being broken overnight!!! Kids aren’t stupid we don’t deserve to be left in the dark about what goes on in our own families!!!
ABSOLUTELY! I hate how many people think that children don't need to know family matters like that. No, it's not a "parents problem," it's a problem that's dividing their whole life. IT IS THEIR BUSINESS TOO.
If the parents were innocent shouldn’t they be given some privacy at least for a while tho? Innocent until proven guilty, but that op was like just guilty cause I said so
@@HackiePuffs well yea not forever but the situation isn’t just about op in a normal situation at least one of the parents would also be feeling grief, again I’m only talking about the beginning not what happened after, those parents were disgusting after all
S1: damn. OP can start her career as a private investigator early in life. She is mature for a 14 year old. Seriously, she is old enough to know what "divorce" is. Glad she chose neither of her parents as both are complete bonkers: the mom being a stalker and the dad being a pedo.
@@newtined3140I was 3 (almost 4) when my parents divorced and I understood the concept and reasons just fine even that young. My parents said the trite “we love each other, but we’re not _in_ love with each other” and I called them out that I didn’t think they loved each other and a lot of the time they didn’t like each other. I think that hit them like a ton of bricks because they thought they had hidden their fights and animosity from us kids. But you can’t hide things like that and kids are more perceptive and more intelligent than most adults give them credit for.
How the hell did a pedophile and a crazy stalker produce such a good little girl? She should become a detective when she grows up. She can do so much good.
@@FriendshipIsMagic1998 he's right. Pedophile is pre-pubescent. It's bad to water down the term by applying it to other things that aren't pedophiles. You're just making it worse for victims of actual pedos. He's a hebophile, a groomer and a predator. But he is not a pedophile. - This is coming from a victim of an actual pedophile.
Story 1: Having been a child that knew they were going LC/NC with their parents as soon as they were old enough to, I commend OP for their heartbreaking resilience. You get the sense that her mom is so fixated on her ex that she probably won’t even fight that hard for OP, and she’s probably been distant with her from the start. I hope that maybe she gets in touch with that ex just to warn him that her mother is stalking her (he might not know just how bad it is). I hope dad gets put away forever.
Story 1: WoW, all I can really say is I'm glad I'm glad OP's not living with her parents. I think R/ is right about the abuse theory, I mean just look at what she has to deal with. Moms are narcissistic stalker they're trying to break up a marriage, and Dad is a p word that's insulting his students and players, and what's worse is we don't know everything.
@@KazeShikamaru the story seems fake. OP said she would assume the worst and was called TA but suddenly she has information that backs her up. Seem like she needed that karma back up.
I wonder if it might also be because she was clearly raised religious with trustworthy grandparents and Rabbi. Depending on the community, she might have been raised with extremely strong (perhaps rigid) values and morals and that could have influenced her reaction. I know if my parents were divorcing, I wouldn't believe a "we fell out of love" story since that doesn't fit with my religious culture.
@@LuckyStalag13 Or you know, just have internet and reddit stories growing up. That tends to open the eyes of the naive to all the possibilities they couldn't have thought of before. Teaches you to look at such situations critically and not take anything face value. Internet can mature kids quite quickly in all aspects if they slip and manage to fall into some rabbit holes, which is getting easier and easier these days since everything is so available and out in the open...
what started out as op 1 trying to find out the truth ended with op 1 opening pandora's box and discovering how much of sick depraved monsters her parents were. we gotta applaud how strong and resilient the girl is since a lot of people at that age would have a lot of trouble trying to stay strong when discovering this level of depravity
Yea, she ain't normal. Not saying it's a bad thing, just not normal for her age. So yea, either had a childhood that pushed her to grow up as such, or maybe she just fell in some rabbit holes of internet, which has the potential to mature anyone up really. Reddit being one of em, it really has a tendency to open the eyes of the naive to all kinds of possibilities...
@@N0xiety Hell, even when you're an adult there's still some stuff on the internet that can open your eyes, of which you never would've found out otherwise.
Not really, I'm also strong willed and in my experience as someone with other stubborn girls and women in my family, it's a personality trait fron birth.
@@mariakhan7986 There is definitely a genetic aspect to it, but if we look at who their parents were I think it's safe to say it was the bad childhood that caused them to mature early.
That 14 year old's ability to resist other's control is impressive, especially for someone that young. The only thing that would have made this better is if she also managed to contact & warn her mom's ex that her mom is trying to sabotage their marriage.
First story: As someone who has been abused and gaslit while living with their grandparents, I really feel for OP. I'm so proud of OP to recognize the abuse and go to the extremes to protect herself. I've experienced pretty much all forms of abuse, except I've only witnessed and been threatened with physical abuse. I started living my grandparents at 12 and I'm just now escaping their abuse at 17.
I mean, if they're in the US, there's not much to report. The laws around stalking are very weak here, and a lot of police departments won't do anything unless the stalker turns violent.
I think she was probably more focused on her dad and the guy her mom is involved with is probably another adult so she isn't too worried about that right now. I feel like if it was also someone underaged she would bring more attention to it in a heartbeat
Divorced parents OP is going to go far. What resilience and moral strength! Hope she knows that a lot of strangers like me are proud of her. I'm glad to hear from the last OP that she's doing well.
As someone with autism, it drives me nuts when people try to use it to excuse horrible crimes. The vast majority of us are good people who don't entertain ourselves by terrorizing others.
I think a key context clue for the 14 year old and the abuse she was experiencing is the part about her being told to "be a good kid and do the right thing" but that would only be accomplished by shutting up and obeying. That's exactly what my parents put into my head and the manipulative stuff that goes on through that can be so difficult to handle. Especially when you see one or both of them doing the wrong thing and not being able to call them out on it. It really breaks a kids trust in their parents
I remember the kidnapped story, they not only kidnapped her and scared the shit out her, they borderline sexually assaulted her. They were groping her thighs and waist, they made her think they were going to r*pe and kill her. She definitely needs to press charges.
I can’t believe the maturity and strength in a 14 year old child. I like how she’s not putting up with anyone’s BS. With all that being said, my heart breaks for her, her whole world was just blown to pieces. I think if she follows through with her plans (which seems plausible) she’s going to have an incredible future.
@rslash, the OP in the first story didn't "sell out" her dad. She discovered what he was doing and took stops to prevent him from future predatory behavior.
I think what he intended to say was "rat out," but he was so emotionally caught up in the story, his brain just picked the wrong term out of the database. Still, it's not quite right either. Both are value-laden phrases. I think just plain "turn in" would suit the situation best.
As someone (possibly) on the spectrum, I was on the receiving end of "pranks" that felt horrible to me, and I was told by teachers that since it was just a prank, I should get over it. It's not an excuse to pull such bs, I would never do it, as I know how it is to be nursing bruises after getting pranked. But maybe it says something about the people these kids grew up around.
I really feel for OP in the first story. I went through something similar but not nearly as extreme around the same age. The only thing I disagreed with OP doing is refusing therapy. FREE therapy. I did the same thing when I was their age and I regret it big time. I know it feels like the therapist is just there to take the parents’ side and they don’t care but they can help so much.
Story 2: that's BS being on the spectrum is no excuse for what they did to her. I don't know why pranks have gone from whoopie cushions and fake spiders, too just committing full-on crimes but it's not okay. They're only sorry because you understandably got the police involved.
On the plus side, there was an edit to the update where the OP admitted that she may be a bit on the softhearted side, and that she'll likely be pressing charges against them because it's the best course of action and was only holding back because she didn't want her fiances former best friend to catch heat as well. Seem like reddit convinced her that she should even if it means all three of them have to face the music.
First Story: Holy Hell!, Op's parents sound like honest to god demons, the father deserves to rot in prison and "accidentally" drop the soap, the mom is conniving and cruel. Both deserve to have their entire lives destroyed and hopefully they get their karma. Second Story: Glad to hear that the so called "friends" may or may not get punished and that Op and her fiancé will live happily ever after.
I mostly agree with you - but can we please stop making jokes about prison rape?? He deserves to be put in jail for is actions, but rape jokes are never funny, no matter if you think the person (victim) deserves it or not.
From what i remember from the original kidnapping "prank", didn't one of the guys rub OP's thigh? If so then that guy should be charged with sexual assault
@@TheMadagascarqueen this is why i hate RU-vid "pranks" Sooner or later, RU-vid prank should have a limit or banned. But that just my thoughts on this mess
i just hope thr 14 y/o is able to get therapy. they said they refused therapy, which, if it was set up by the parents i can understand, but this is a situation that could SERIOUSLY screw up a kid mentally, short and longterm, and i hope they're able to get some help.
It's not just the strong will that's commendable, it's their power to turn it into self-actualization and *do* something with it. Being able to take and never break under any amount of metaphorical punches is one thing, but being able to metaphorically riposte those attacks is what makes *powerful* individuals.
@@Starfloofle TRUE! A lot of people just sit on the sidelines and wait for things to happen. NAH! THIS KID BLOCKED AND ATTACKED! I JUST unlocked this type of strength at age 24. Kid takes no bullshit and that's AWESOME.
try having being forced upon you AT 5 EFFING YEARS OLD!!!! i still deal with severe life-long mental/physical damage enough that a majority of people with the same damage either commit suicide or become killers!!! i am absolutely ZEALOUS when this "topic" comes around the misanthropy i struggle with is EXTREME it is utterly horrifyingly AWFUL
@@falloutthewindowcrazy7608 I'm sorry to hear that. I assure you that there are avenues for help and support. It's important to get the help you need through your doctor. As I am not the person to send lessons because I didn't go through that, the ONLY thing that triggered my resilience, is being yelled at and borderline abused at a nursing home ESPECIALLY in the middle of the pandemic. Head of the building asking if I DESERVED 100 bucks for dealing with the pandemic and only getting minimum wage throughout it all. My worth was NOTHING. I was on the edge. This was my limit. And then I admitted I was a furry, non-binary, and I layed all my stuff on the table and got a new job that's SO MUCH BETTER after I took anti depressants. Life has never been better. I've met COUNTLESS people who support me and love me and friends and family by my side. I hope that you find that flame. And pass it on.
My heart breaks for OP in that first story. I think you're right on the abuse theory, because she is absolutely mature beyond her years to an almost scary degree. I do hope she accepts the individual counseling because she absolutely could use it.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads, daddies, and father figures out there! *First OP:* I remember this saga, and was not expecting those plot twists. Good for OP for reporting her dad. Despite what other people have said, OP was NTA. *Second OP:* Prank channels, of _course!_ I'm glad things worked out between OP and her fiance, but she needs to press charges against the "friends." Make examples out of them. Also, Icorrect me if I'm wrong, but I'm _pretty_ sure claiming to be on the spectrum is not a good defense for enduring trauma on someone as a "prank."
The spectrum thing can be quite complicated depending on the individual. It shouldn't be an excuse but it can be an explanation because what is and isn't socially acceptable behaviour can be difficult to grasp (I used to have this problem and ended up banned from a few relatives' houses for about a decade as a result) and for someone that might not fully grasp the magnitude of what their actions could do to another person, youtube prank channels would definitely only make the boundaries blurrier. What I think is important about that is that the person saw the consequences, understood why what he did was bad and actually apologized for it. Being on the spectrum is complicated because over the typical sensory sensitivity stuff, it includes each individual having different thought patterns so things will just miss you. Some people can't read between the lines and take everything literally and at face value (I for example spent most of my life completely tone deaf and still struggle with being unforgivingly blunt even when it's not appropriate for the situation) and some completely overthink every word and action and can't see what's right in front of them. In short, you never know how a person on the spectrum might be with this kind of stuff. What matters is that the consequences are received and the person who did the harm felt bad about it, apologized to the victim and learned to do better. I don't want to come across as justifying his actions because that's not what I'm doing, I just wanted to give my perspective on it as someone who has fallen into that same pit of unacceptable behaviour more times than I can remember. Lessons must be learned, it just happens that sometimes the consequences must be extra big for them to really stick. The OP didn't say if she thought that person's apology felt sincere or not so it's still possible he might have lied about it but because she didn't point out anything about it being odd either, I'm just making the assumption that the explanation and the apology were both genuine unless OP specifies otherwise in a later update.
Agreed, I was absolutely gobsmacked that the comments dogpiled OP when she had a full right to know wtf was going in in her own home. The grandparents sound solid for giving her a support system, state pending if she saves up her summer job money and finishes up with school by the time she's 16, she can see about emancipation if the CoL isn't God awful with apartments [only if necessary obvi but sounds like OP is taking all the right steps and has a safe landing space with her grandparents ] Story 2: Ah prank channels,the bane of the internet that contributed to the floodgates leading to random censorship Ala the ad-pocolypse [obvi aside from elsagate and "family" vloggers] I'm one to enjoy a good harmless joke now and then but these pranks the channels do always go too far and in turn end up glorifying and enabling douchebaggery. I'm glad OP is safe and that her partner had nothing to do with her ordeal. Sadly, some people can't grow past the frat boy stage of life, so here's hoping fiance dropped those douche canoes, and OP does press charges on those two. Maybe being knocked down a peg might make them grow a brain and common sense.
If I remember right, one of the three friends (I’m guessing the one on the spectrum since OP specified but I could be wrong) wasn’t in on the prank aspect of it, he was just the driver and ended up going along with it.
@Mara Yeah,hence the ire at the two only, the third guy had no idea how arseholeish the frat bros were going to be. It was supposed to be more or less a goofy scenario where they'd pick up OP willingly after giving her an outlandish note/summons. I get there are outlandish means of proposals [quite a few are Scottish pranks and are literally messy] BUT, normally everybody in that scenario are in on the jokes and know what's up, including the prankee.
I would’ve loved if this had gone to court, the judge asked OP about who she wants to stay with, and she just was like “until they tell me why they’re divorcing, I would rather be in foster care or taken in by my grandparents.” Just unload ALL of that in a public courtroom and humiliate tf outta them
I love that rslash followed up with "like and subscribe" after calling himself dumb. I just wish this video was sponsored, and he just went into the sponsorship read.
I had a lot of mixed feelings about the first story. Until rSlash pointied out that this is **too much** of a reaction for a 14yr old when it comes to a divorce. I don't think many kids that age can grasp everything that entails that concept and he's right, what has OP gone through that gave her this level of awareness? Divorces can happen just because "we dont love each other anymore" so I felt a bratty 14 yr old kid demanding to know their parent's relationship dynamics was incredibly entitled. But this was not the case, she saw signs, she felt it coming and then didn't let it roll her over. Amazing.
17 may be age of consent in OPs state. It's because of the inappropriate relationship since the dad is associated with education and it's an unprofessional relationship.
@@starbird3939 My state is one of them, but the caveat is the couple still have to be minors, and have already gotten pregnant, to avoid "baby out of wedlock" religious/conservative drama but still need parental consent.
Right? That was the part that irked me a little bit and thought she should mind her own business since she's a kid after all. BUT, once she dug into it some more, then yeah, all the really bad dirt just flowed out, lol. And yeah, the kid definitely needs private therapy to help process all that mess.
I'm 32 and I know that's true. Just like you don't just fall in love. Love at first sight does not exist. You don't just stop loving someone for no reason. There are always reasons. Some times you don't know, but it's usually a build up of small things over time unless the person does something horrific. Such as murder, torture, and you find out they're a pedo. In most cases it's not instantly. To OP, it was over night while she was a way because before she started digging, she didn't know they'd been planning a split for months. Only over the weekend/trip away with her grandparents. And they refused to tell her anything. And she's 100% correct. If she's old enough to ask questions, then she's old enough and deserves to know the reasons why her family is being split. She said she didn't even need details, she just wanted to know who cheated, because that was her first thought. Which was correct, but they refused to tell her and she wasn't having it. I wouldn't have either at that age.
It’s messed up how the 14-year-old is more mature and self-reliant than both parents combined. Good on OP for sticking to their guns, especially when such an awful wrongdoing was involved. I hope they continue to find good, supportive people to be in their corner.
We got an update for the fake kidnapping, but not for the proposal where OP’s friends accused him of something horrible but wouldn’t give any information on what they were accusing him of?
Last story: I was happy to hear she is healing and still with her now fiance. I was sure those idiots trashed the relationship beyond repair. They can rot in jail for what they did. Please press charges. People need to learn that actions have consequences!
I remember the first story. In the initial aita I was like "listen kid, sometimes people do fall out of love for basically no reason. Yeah it's dumb but it's also life" and then in the updates I realized that she knows her parents better than random redditors do
Op should make sure she has all her important papers in a safe place. If it comes out that she's the one who reported her dad, he, the mom or grandparents might retaliate. Stay safe and strong.
I'm a divorced kid myself. There was a lot going on, and I was roughly at the same age as OP, but with a younger sibling. Kids in that situation absolutely want and deserve some details of what is going on. Additionally, self-preservation kicks in really hard. We want to control who we're living with. Courts don't always rule in the kids' favour. One teenager was forced to live with her father despite her not getting along with his new wife and her kids. A kid flying every second weekend to their mother, who remarried and moved over 500 km away. OP is definitely in the right here.
Story 1: Applause for OP for the way she handled everything. However, I hope she's able to get into therapy on her own terms, when she's ready, because this was a LOT for anyone to process all at once.
6:35 "I feel like something I've learned this week is that some people really get mad when I resist being controlled." I had the same kind of experience when I was younger (my parents didn't break up - they were just VERY controlling). I'm glad that I, too, was stubborn. Although I know that the only reason why I was stubborn was because they could never admit to being wrong, and I could tell that they were very obviously wrong about some things, so I knew to stand up for myself and not trust everything they would say. They could have gotten away with a LOT of lies if they'd admitted to being wrong a few times, because I wouldn't have become stubborn.
That story was insane! Props to the daughter for being strong and doing the right thing, despite how difficult it must have been. I especially loved the part where she resisted therapy. It's not really that she's stubborn, she just knows her parents are pieces of garbage and that bridge has collapsed.
For the first story she was really strong to come out and say that. I was touched by my half brother at the age of 5 and it took me ELEVEN YEARS to build up the courage and strength to come forward.
Man, Im really proud for the kid from that first story. Like extremely impressed too. Im not even a parent and Im proud of them for standing up and saying no and doing their own work to find out whats going on. Most adults cant even do that, they just repeat what they hear and blindly follow what everyone else does or they are told to do. Not even mentioning the fact that, on top of all the work they did to stand their ground and find out what was really going on, but had the judgement and state of mind to think of when to phone a friend and get outside help involved (everything from Reddit, to their community and the cops).
To the 14 year old; YOU are who I wanted to be 14. Unfortunately, I only had your sas and none of your vigor and courage. I hope you can still live a good childhood even though you have a shitty situation
I NEED an update on that one story where the fiancé-to-be’s friends took her from her boyfriend and started telling the boyfriend to never call her again
Op of the scummy parents story is I think pretty admirable. She stayed so strong against the adults in her life and had a firm grasp on who was absolutely in the wrong. I just hope that now she’s with someone she’s safe with and that now she can heal
im 25 and threw away my mother at 12 for years of abuse and the fact that she abandoned me for two weeks alone (dad was with dying nana and sister got to go on a trip to India). good girl for getting rid of your parents at 14
Fiance update: OP should definitely press on the kidnappers, but show some leniency on the one that's in the spectrum, especially if he cooperates with throwing the other two under the bus so that it's easier to nail them to the wall.
@@Brock_Lee501 Throwing the other two under the bus to nail them to the wall? Throwing under the bus = assign most of or all of the blame on the other person/people in order to save yourself. Nail them to the wall = maximize punishment for what they did (make them suffer).
The girl was only three years older than OP....thank god OP is safe away from that disgusting bacteria, hopefully the seventeen year old is ok and healing.
“I’m dumb. I’m just some dude with a microphone and a computer. Don’t listen to me, man. None of you should ever listen to me or any RU-vidr ever.” *proceeds to plug channel* 😂😂😂
That 14 year old is my hero. Also, about listening to people on the internet. You're 1000% correct with the exception of Ann on How to Cook That. I trust that woman with my life.
for story 2, I am someone on the spectrum and although there are many types of autism and I, alone can not be representative of it but the guy that excused his behaviour through autism is extremely wrong. being autistic does not mean you do not understand committing a CRIME. sure, being unable to understand social cues is pretty common but not to this level. that person fully knew his actions (esp if he was the touching her). he should be locked up.
Same on all accounts. One person that claims to be with us is not representative of all of us. Being on the spectrum isn’t an excuse for kidnapping and not understanding enough about what is ok and not ok to replicate what is seen online.
2nd story: As someone who is 'on the spectrum', I'm so sick and tired of people using being 'on the spectrum' as an excuse for bad behavior. It isn't. I actually know better than most people the possible psychological ramifications of what they did to that poor woman. It's simply not an excuse - except when it is. There are, indeed, some autistic people that are more ignorant than your average person about how to behave and are more easily influenced than others, but even if that's true in that case that doesn't mean he should be easier to forgive - if someone is that ignorant and influenceable then they're just as dangerous as the person who got them to do it. He should be charged right alongside the other guy, and let his lawyer argue in court that his mental disorder means his case should be handled differently, if they can. There's absolutely no reason to let him off the hook.
As someone on the spectrum, I've heard a reason lots of those (mostly men) on the Spectrum become stalkers or other socially/ legally inappropriate things is that people don't hold them accountable for their behavior for so long and don't learn where the line is, and wind up paying the price for it in the long run. ASD is no excuse. I had a stalker who was also on the Spectrum and used it as an excuse and reason to flip the narrative to seem like the victim.
I remember this story. It was fun to see how Reddit tried to tell OP that they were young and they needed to calm down and that why the divorce was happening wasn't their business. Then OP busted a child molester because she refused to just live with her family being torn apart without explanation. And if she followed Reddit advice, the predator would still be on the loose. So yeah, I think she did good and showed why Reddit advice isn't always the best.
yes he does. All the time. That first story is obviously fake once you get to the point where the entire family uses the same password. Especially a family of supposed cheaters. And then the father is a pedo. Its obviously fake and poorly written.
First story. It isn't the kid's business. I was told the reason why at that age. And it was damaging to me as I didn't know how to handle it, and it felt like the parent who told me just wanted revenge or for me to think differently about the other. The OP also isn't handling it very well.
I'm so happy for OP in the first story (obviously the second one too) but she's had the courage and fortitude to do that at 14! I didn't have the courage and it just makes all the police work take forever. I hope OP does well in life, sounds like she'll do great.
That girl is more mature, resilient and stronger as a person than me, and im 24. Really makes you think what kind of a home life shes had to make her grow up to this extent. Those sad excuses for parents are absolute scum. She should be enjoying being 14, not deal with this shit.
Wowee, op has a good head on their shoulders. Seeing through all that crap at 14 is impressive. One thing I will say, op shouldn't refuse individual treatment. I understand refusing family therapy, but individual therapy would probably be insanely helpful
That 14 year old is certifiably one of the most badass people I've ever heard of. I kind of hope she continues her life of drudging up the absolutely worst people to get them punished and writes a book.
Damn, I remembered the kidnapping story and I got reminded of that one story from the guy's perspective where the fiancé didn't come and her friends told him she doesn't want to see him again etc, THAT'S what really needs an update
Goddamn, OP is a badass. I can’t imagine being that strong at 14. (Also shout out to OP’s rabbi for having her back and believing her, and to her grandparents.)
15:04 -- Thank you for the trauma-ridden proposal story update. When I first heard the story, I was horrified. I thought, "That poor girl is gonna need some serious therapy to get past this idiot prank!" Thank goodness her boyfriend is taking care of her. Thank you also for the humorous ending! Yeah, I never listen to RU-vidrs, myself.
14:54 - to clarify in the United States the prosecution doesn't have to ask the person if they want to press charges. The reason they ask for anything like this is because without that person testifying there's less evidence. It's also incredibly difficult for the prosecution to convince the jury to punish someone when the victim doesn't seem to want them to be punished. It's not about the prosecution's power it's about them weighing whether or not they can actually win that case.