Tbh op’s dad didn’t seem all that bad i feel like op left out a bunch of stuff but what he did say about his dad wasn’t bad beside him being a homophob he seemed like he did a good job providing and bring his kids up
@@Mokutekehe was unnecessarily controlling, so not really the best way of bringing a kid up, but i don't think there was any malice, he was just way too traditional
If I learned one tying from my toxic father, it's that the people who say "Stand up for yourself" are always secretly saying "But never stand up to me".
Don't make the assumption that everyone saying that is your dad. There are plenty of fathers, like myself, who tell their kids that, fully meaning it. My kids have called me on my own preconceptions and BS on more than one occasion. It leads to discussion and compromise on all sides, not iron fisted authoritarianism or unchecked anarchy. My kids know they have the freedom to be themselves, but dad is going to correct them when wrong and have their back, no matter what. So much so that my youngest daughter just casually outted herself as gay while we were watching her favorite anime together. She was just like "Oh, dad, my girlfriend says hi." My response was "Oh? Well tell her I said hi back." That was it. No big talk or awkwardness. Just a casual, nbd kind of discussion. Now she's asking about Pride events and the like.
@@SkunkApe407 you, despite any flaws as a person that you may have, have truly succeeded as a father and unironically deserve worlds best dad memorabilia.
@@liamzakhaev thank you. My kids are my favorite people and I want them to be the very best and happiest versions of themselves possible. That can't happen of the person who is supposed to be their biggest fan is busy being a pain in the butt. I can't stand tyrannical parents.
@Samqdf He's mentioned before he doesn't fully read the stories before recording them, I think he reads the tldr. It may have been advertised as a different story, to me it sounded like he was slightly disappointed when giving his take
RSlash : "...trying to stretch the hole without stretching it..." Me, having zoned out for a second: " I'm sorry, what the frickity-frack did I miss?!" 😆
Story 1: Honestly, I don't blame OP for coming up with a plan to trick his dad into thinking he's gay. He's way too authoritative in a bad way. He's not acting like a authority figure, he's simply, acting like a jerk. Good to see he got called out on his bluff, and lost respect in many people's eyes. I would not respect someone like him.
Honestly, I have to say it, how do you always manage to get to the top comments and how are you here so early every single time? Also, that dad really sucked.
Actually, there's a HUGE difference between authoritative and authoritarian. Authoritative parents allow for a degree of freedom, but will still discipline their child (within reason) when the child misbehaves. Authoritarian parents, on the other hand, do not allow any freedom, must always be in control, and are quick (if not eager) to dole out harsh punishments, including verbal and physical abuse. OP's father was very much an authoritarian here. Had he been authoritative, he would have let OP wear those dresses when he was still young, but gently explained to him as OP got older that some in society would frown upon that. But since he screamed and yelled at OP and his family for minor issues, he was effectively a tyrant, not a guiding force in OP's life. But I would argue that the authoritarian's power doesn't come from actual power, merely the perception of it. In many cases, when their power is finally challenged, they crumble like a house of cards. That's why autocratic nations throughout history inevitably collapsed: the power of the leader was challenged, either from inside or outside forces, and then they lost their power.
OK I'm a lesbian who thinks the first story is kind of hilarious. In a way OP was making it easier for his brother down the road if you think about it... better to have shut down the bully before one of his kids comes out for real. Wish I had that kind of courage lol.
As a straight man who was brought up in a very open minded house, it makes me thankful not to have learned any hateful prejudices from my parents. Even know I might understand that kind of hate on an intellectual level (ignorance and insecurities breed fear and hate), I just won't understand how someone can feel that way on an emotional level.
Gender non conformity isn't tied into sexuality and people need to understand that! A lot of super feminine guys are straight and a LOT of super masculine guys are gay.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 that is deeply annoying (and the other way around a lot of people act as if you need to be big n strong to be butch which absurd)
Seriously, I work in a daycare and you wouldn't believe how many parents throw a fit when tney see a picture of their two year old son in a princess dress. Um, hey, maybe he wants to wear a princess dress because the rest of his class was playing dress up and he wanted to join in???
Speaking as a woman, I like building sets like Legos. That's usually considered a "boy" thing. Looking back, I think it's the mental stimulation that comes with it. I'm on the spectrum and have ADHD so Legos give me something to focus on. I like having something to work toward while having fun figuring out how things come together.
Story 2: Geez, how hard is it to give a bonus? The manager acted like paying his employees what they're worth would kill his bottom line. No it wouldn't!
First story: being abusive =/= authoritve. His dad is a piece of shit plain and simple. Also props to Paul for helping OP basically break his father like that. But I can't help but think there's a connection between how he acted around his family and how he never really progressed in the military.
you don't progress in the military. the boys and girls at the very top are hand picked by some rando so that the chain of command at the top remains dumb. its to secure the safety of the federal government. you don't want your chain of command at the very top to suddenly turn on you, military coups are a thing and the federal government don't want that. thats why its better to keep em dumb.
I'd say the Venn diagram between authoritative and abusive overlaps more significantly than otherwise. Many military fathers I've met have have had a higher than average level of abusiveness. Same with many cop fathers.
@@BronzeDragon133 I’ll say. Between the hazing epidemic, the struggle to curb any kind of bigotry within the ranks (racism, sexism, homophobia, etc), and being an environment that overwhelmingly favors abusive behavior above all else- it doesn’t surprise me in hearing yet another story about someone’s abusive military dad. This kind of behavior is overwhelmingly encouraged in the military. No matter how many trainings they put out about each year, the only time anything is done about it is either when someone blows the whistle to the right person who gives just enough fucks to do something about it or when the abuse escalates to the point someone’s bringing their infant child to the ER with broken bones.
@@BronzeDragon133 you'll see why once you been to boot camp. boot camp is basically legalized verbal, emotional and physical abuse. this is because the standard for military is to mentally remove your own self that you spent years molding and then replace it with a orders obeying killing machine. the military gets their killers, but leaves behind a shell of a person once the man or woman leaves the military. its why the success rate of veterans to be able to survive a civilian life is rather low.
Years ago, my husband worked at a company and had been there for 5 years. His boss was leaving the company and his last day for his boss was supposed to be on a Friday. The CEO asked him to stay until Monday. On Monday morning, a meeting was called to announce the closing of the company. My husband got a fabulous severance package…and so did his boss. If his boss had left on Friday, he would have gotten nothing. The CEO asked him to stay so he would get the money.
I hate authoritarian parents who strictly believe outdated sexist gender norms, and I especially hate homophobic parents. Your kids deserve love, support and happiness, not harassed and bullied into following outdated sexist stereotypes because you’re a toxic individual. Lots of feminine guys are straight, they’re just expressing themselves, lots of masculine women are straight, they’re just expressing themselves, and how you express your outward self has NOTHING to do with sexuality. I’m a butch homo female, but me not adhering to gender norms has nothing to do with me loving women, I just don’t believe I should have to follow outdated sexist roles and stereotypes to be considered a woman, I should be allowed to live however I want (so long as you don’t harm anyone), but I’ve faced so much homophobia and sexism for just daring to be me. It’s just sad AF when insanely toxic men become dads, OP had a terrible father who was obsessed with his idea of a “perfect” man, that only exists in his head, and by demanding his son suppress himself and his desire to express himself, he pushed his kids away, is a bully, is hateful, the sort of behaviour that sees you dumped in a crappy old persons home and never visited sorta behaviour. Just love your kids, if they come out as gay, gender non conforming, trans? Just love them, let them know there’s nothing wrong with them, that you’ll always love them and always be there for them, that’s all we ask of our parents but apparently that’s too hard when we come out as gay/trans for some reason!
@@double-you5130ok and? does me drinking fanta make me fantastic?? does me sleeping from 12 to 12 make me a cat??? does you drinking MAN bear make you a man???? clearly not
First Story: OP's dad is the kind of man who will cause his own kids to hate him and he will end up being alone for the rest of his life. I am sorry OP had this sorry terrible man as a father. This revenge is amazing and Paul is the MVP for not only suggesting this plan but part took in the plan. OP's dad deserved what he got and the respect he lost from his family. I agree with rSlash, gender stereotypes is dumb Second Story: So basically OP watched as the manager caused everyone in the company to quit? That is what u called plain old favoritism. They favor this man more than anyone else so the decided to keep him on instead of firing him. The fact that so many people left the company is a red flag that the upper management refuse to see
OP is me in the first story, I haven’t ever brought a man home to meet my mom but damn I should because my mom is OP’s dad. I hundred percent am super feminine, I carry a purse to work, I regularly wear leggings, and what not. I find comfort in it. I’m a straight male but I make my own decisions as well. My mom is still irked by it and doesn’t come to my place because of it, but I’m not doing drugs, I’m an drinking myself to death, I haven’t murdered anyone, I just prefer a purse over a backpack, in my mom’s eyes, the worst sin of them all.
The father in the first story sounds like the kind of guy whose view of 'being a man' is based upon some outdated, incredibly toxic view of being a man where you provide for the family while your wife does all the housework, and where it's perfectly fine to get your kids to behave by essentially slapping them around. He deserved to get humiliated like that. All bullies do.
Story 1: Have you ever had that moment where you finally rip power right out of someone's hands? I can feel the satisfaction and joy from that. I'm glad he mellowed out and is tolerant of OP's gay brother
Love your content! I listen to r/slash everyday on my way to work. I’m on the spectrum & don’t understand the world the way most people do, and this helps me recognize when I’m being treated improperly ✌️
I had an extremely conservative father. He constantly said anti-trans and anti-gay stuff. I left as a teen and didn't speak or talk to him for 20 years. I hated him. I had an awful youth because my dad used to treat me like op treated him well.
First story is hilarious and the way he defeated his dad is hilarious and in a way he reminds me of a character from Wolfenstein and how he stood up to his abusive father.
I'm glad my parents talked to me when i was 10/11 years old and that they don't care with who i come home with (same gender or diff skin color) As logn as i'm happy, so are they. I'm rly happy with that. EDIT : If i was OP and that dad threathened to call the cops in front of everyone i would have replied : Call them! I will report you for child abuse, homophobia, anger issues, etc... I will press charges and even a lawsuit. I will also contact local news that you're a massive homophobe and child abuser.
@@BlooMonkiMan basically, they couldn't ask you if you were gay, but if they found out you were, they'd kick you out. One of the saddest cases of that was the woman who found out she was being kicked out immediately after being awarded a medal for exemplary service. Like, during the celebration.
@@darkunykorn404 IKR, I have this exact mentality and was thinking about leaving my discord here to talk about it, why be straight or gay, why too or bottom, sub or dom. When you can have *both*.
@@end_slayer fr, i mean sure, some people genuinely don't like X or Y or Z and that's fair, do as you will, but being free to choose is where it's at, it's so much more fun
Legit, I say that all the time. Doing away with gender stereotypes. Granted, mine is more selfish because I don't want to be told taking out the trash is a man's job.
My step mother was always telling me to stand up to ppl who i have problems Didnt like it when it became her i had problems with at all 😂 still doesnt like me
Story 1: Honestly (coming from a family full of conservatives) something that I myself have thought of doing just to upset them. They kinda need a reality check.
I watched Are You Being Served? with my dad as a kid. The grandma comparing Paul to Mr. Humphreys tells me exactly what sort of man he is, and I love it.
Damn kinda got blue balled with that last story thought op was gonna get his old boss fired and the company sued for internationally causing him to lose his bonus.
Ya first story I'm worried more for OPs mom. That relationship ship for them sounds toxic and I wouldn't be surprised if there was abuse. If kot physical at least emotional.
3:07-3:09 that might be the only appropriate lesson the father gave. Punch back and strike hard if hit before, and do it mercilessly so your attackers think twice.
I had a teacher who used to be a manager at a small startup, and he said one of the things he was proudest of is not having any voluntary turnover. In other words, leading and managing the company well enough that nobody chose to quit or leave on their own.
On the first story, it can be so difficult to like what you like because of the pressure of society & family. For the longest time, I tried my best to hide my interests from my parents because I thought they wouldn't approve. When watching TV, I always did so at a low volume & had Animal Planet on the last button so if my parents came by & I was watching something they would deem unworthy for a young girl, I'd just press the last button & they'd think I was watching Animal Planet all along which like sometimes when I hung out with them, it was my go-to channel, I did like the Crocodile Hunter a lot as a kid & I did zoo camp every year so it was very believable that I'd be watching the channel. As I got older, I did break out of trying to put up a front a bit, I tend to fall very quiet when my parents tried questioning me on anything because I felt awkward about my interests around them. Out in the world though, I don't care anymore, I wear my interests like my every day bag, it's got a ton of different pins on it, Pokemon key chains, a key chain of Donatello, specifically from Rise of the TMNT because that's my favorite version of the character. I also wear some sort of fandom or concert shirt every day which is fun, I always seem to run into fellow fans when I do. The day before Mother's Day, I even kinda opened up to my mom a little on my interests. I was wearing a TMNT shirt that day & my mom asked me to do some errands with her & it was the day before Mother's Day, how could I say no to helping my mom? So I went out & eventually she asked me why I was wearing that shirt when I never cared for it & it was hard to admit I was into it so I just sorta stayed quiet but that night, I sat down next to her & threw on the Rise of the TMNT movie on Netflix because that movie is just so good & I was meaning to watch it again anyways. Her view was of the 80's cartoon, mmm yeah, so the Rise movie gets dark & I even cried a bit when watching the first time so I figured she'd get what I saw at least in that iteration from watching the movie. That's probably the most open I could be with her, talking to her about my interests is not easy but she seemed fine with it although she's of the mind that cartoons are either for kids or if they're made for adults, they're just really stupid (my little sister watches Family Guy & my mom HATES that show) so I was surprised she didn't say anything about that being inappropriate for kids, especially that Leo says "badass" near the beginning of the movie. I'm 31 & she is aware that I do love animated content, sometimes I do wonder if she worries about that interest given in her eyes, I should of grown out of it. Uhh yeah, I am never growing out of appreciating such a beautiful art.
1st story. This has a tiny bit of Malicious Compliance. OP's dad wanted him to stand up to bullies so thats what OP did. OP's dad just didn't think it would be him.
Lol, heard "Man, this an example of why GINGER stereotypes are stupid!" & was so confused for a second there, thinking, 'wait, were OP's family red haired?! Did we listen to the same story?!' Then realized it was GENDERED & everything started to make sense again.
What i actually got from story one, is let kids be kids and stopping making dumb decisions like just cuz a 5 year old wanna wear a dress is a green light he wants to be a girl. He might just be mimicking his mother and sisters.
I'm a woman who looks for jeans in the men's department most of the time. I could spend hours talking about the issues I have with ladies' jeans and clothing in general for sizing and the lack of functional pockets.
What's the hell is wrong with a boy trying on things that aren't traditionally masculine? and then for him to lock up something that isn't his and try to "man you up" sounds like he suffered from short sausage energy and was under the control of his microscopic elephant to say.
Humphreys: "You?!" Fireman: "You?!" H: "What happened to the monastery?" F: "It's a long story..." H: "Oh, well you can tell me all about it on the way down." *climbs into his arms while the guy is on a ladder*
Imma type a qoat from sonic book: Knuckles "you know Amy, anytime someone draws attention to the breaking of gender roles, it ultimately undermines the concept of gender equality by emplying that this is an exception, and not the status qou"
Who is so stupid as to leave 2 weeks before a bonus date? I waited 1 month to ensure I got the bonus on Mar 31, then gave notice on April 1. My boss thought it was an April fools joke and didn't want to accept it. Lol Took an hour to convince him that I was serious.
It sounds like OP was trying to be cute with the dates and quit right after getting eligible for bonus, but he just screwed himself over because he didn't know what he was doing. He should not have posted it in prorevenge as it barely even qualifies as pettyrevenge.
Yeah bad managers have a shield around them. My husband worked in a team of 5 in a small company. They got a new manager, and literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON QUIT before the new manager was fired.
Story one: I will never understand men like that. I am trained in multiple martial arts and am passionate about combat sports and self defence. However I also did ballroom and latin dancing growing up (fyi, a fair few notable fighters dance). I work in a predominantly female field as a specialist. I don’t enjoy a lot of traditional sports. Yet I’m 6 foot tall, bearded, and couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than a man (which I identify as so works for me). I’m married to a wonderful woman and we have a son. My son asked if he could buy a skirt. We said no problem and he looked through them. He decided in the end he didn’t really want one. Didn’t hurt us in the slightest. Let him explore his fashion a bit. Came to a conclusion on his own. If he’d wanted a skirt I’d have had the same thought on the outlook. People are weird, trying to fit everyone else into a stereotype. When they themselves know they aren’t a stereotype. No one is. And if they are forcing themselves to be then I guarantee they’re hurting themselves and those around them.
Jeez, that first story is both funny, but also EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I’ve seen some serious messed up stuff done by families to their own children for coming out, and I was so nervous about this. Im glad that it turned out good for OP in this situation, and maybe helped his siblings and mother. But yeah, how the dad treated OP and his mother early on gave me some flashbacks to my own childhood, where it wasn’t AS bad as OP’s, but I still remember one day of my childhood, hearing an argument, only for a fist to slam THROUGH a shut door, sending shards and splinters 10ft away down the carpeted hallway. It wasn’t a common experience, and things aren’t violent in recent years, but there has always been tension in the home that I only became more aware of as I got older. I am currently waiting for a day my mother and I both have time available and off work at the same time so we can hit the bank and see about pre-approval on a loan so I can begin the house buying process and move out, both to escape the tension, and to begin living my own life that isn’t spent cleaning up after everyone else and their pets, hiding in my room when Im not cleaning or at work.
Conquering the fear you have of someone is So Powerful. I use to fear my dad and now, i realize that he cant do anything to me. He cant lay a finger on my unless he wants to be in jail. I will be a better father to my child than he ever was to me.
I've worked at a company where the managers and directors promote their friends into supervisor and manager positions, regardless of competency. then they protect their buddies by covering their screwups like they never happened. so these people usually don't get fired...until an outside contract company or different boss witnesses the screwup, has no reason to cover for them, and wants to protect their own ass.
Okay it's actually pretty normal for kids to dress up as the opposite gender, my cousin did it, the kids I teach do it. It's just a way of playing, no harm in it
Or to dress up in general. My brother liked tp dress up as a pirate. This does not mean he became one. I liked to dress up as a kitten. I also never became one.
@@insideAdirtyMind exactly!! If everyone became what they dressed up as as a kid honestly the world would be more interesting cause there'd be a lot of dragons, pirates, cats, and princesses around
Oh that first story breaks my heart. I’m a mom to a girl, and two boys 4 and 2. They adore their big sis, and love wearing her hand-me-downs. Dresses, leggings, pants, skirts, all of it. They have twirling contests. My middle son adores rainbows and his whole room is a mass of color. Let kids be who they are. It hurts no one.
There’s a character from season 3 of Jem and the Holograms that the guy from the first story sounds like a dead ringer for. Riot has long hair, is unapologetically his own person, faced a crapload of adversity, was scarred by that, and has a domineering, macho, former-military father and a demure mother. He was also from Western Europe!
I was thinking that the first OP made it safer for anyone else in the family to come out. And then his brother did! OP might have saved him from being beaten, thrown out, anything.
Regarding the last story: I have never in my 40+ years of working (from paperboy to fast food to career work) had a job in which bonuses are a thing that ever even enters the equation. I keep hearing stories about bonuses and people getting screwed out of them and it is such a foreign concept that it doesn't compute. We might get some cake if someone has a birthday or a certificate of appreciation when you retire but that's just about it. Also, the manager who managed the depletion of his engineering workforce by 80% confirms my belief that many employers do not see their staff as assets important to the business plan. They spend more time and thought redecorating the chairs in the waiting room than in retaining the backbone of the business. Just utterly stupid business practice. What if a trucking company decides to merely skip truck maintenance, or a restaurant decides to not pay the meat vendor or a cubicle farm work site decides to just not put toner in their printers. It's such obvious idiocy that the company cannot function without attending to those expenses. But they will think nothing of starving out the people who do the actual work.
In case you didnt know, there are helplines in the UK and US for those wanting to come out of the closet, but need help, but If things go badly, there are also helplines for those who have been kicked out of their homes for it.
As a trans woman, methinks op 1 may be an egg, growing up i had those same urges to wear pretty dresses, i may be wrong, but i do remember my own desires as a kid to wear dresses
I feel like the revenge in the second story was more offering a branch of safety to a couple of the few remaining employees there, ultimately screwing over the shit manager, but that's how I kinda saw it, could be wrong.
Story 1: The father realized that there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t win. His reaction showed his family how he felt, and the fact that his own father scolded him for how he reacted cemented it.
This bad manager sounds just like my former manager. She scared off a ton of people but somehow she not only stayed around but even got promoted before she quit I would have had her fired a long time ago and blacklisted so she could never work here ever again
Honestly, I really thought that first story was gonna end with OP coming out as trans instead but hey glad that it helped paved the way for his younger brother.
Yknow I actually have the absolute tiniest bit of respect for OP’s father in the first story. It’s like rSlash said, he taught OP to stand up to bullies and OP finally stood up to his biggest bully; his father. Dude is still a mega d bag.
It is ironic that men who call themselves macho call others weak and vulnerable, but when they get to see something other than the rules of their game, they are the first to react emotionally. They put others down, but when they are challenged, they cannot control their emotions.
These stories don’t really ring “pro” revenge to me. Hell, the second one doesn’t even sound like revenge at all. First one kinda leans more towards petty revenge and the second one definitely has to be posted on the wrong sub, it’s sounds more like either antiwork or talesfromtechsupport.
Never underestimate management's complete ability to keep the worst of the worst managers. A place I worked at had a manager that cut the wrong corners and not only caused $1,000,000 in scrap on a factory floor, he was so toxic employees would quit if they got assigned to his team. Not only is he still working there, they promoted him to operations manager.
A similar thing happened to me as in the second story. The only difference is that my manager was a good guy. The several managers above him were a nightmare. Corporate believed that we don't need to be competitive in the job market and was always shocked when people (including myself) found jobs that payed 30% more for the same work, project management's work was invisible to the developers. I raised my concerns about a multitude of issues for three years, none of them got fixed. Audits showed glaring problems, none of them got fixed. In january two colleagues with highly sought after skillset resigned, and that triggered an avalanche. There were 8 developers in the team in february, in june, only one (myself excluded). I really pittied my boss, because there was literally nothing he could have done about it, he was a captain of a ship that was designed without any defence against sinking.
Played with random polypocket and even had a doll house without ugly dolls but I just had it sitting there. Not really knowing what to do with it besides decorate the thing somewhat. In the end it got throws or given away I don't remember. But I will always remember my brother starting a random zombie attack in the magnet dance floor poly pocket club thing I had. xD I think I just really loved the part of you can move things around like that castle of beauty and the beast with a small magnetic space to move the figurines around. Kinda wished I still had some of those toys just to see why I liked them.
It’s so interesting how different people are. I vowed that I would unconditionally love my children, no matter what they did. When Facebook first came out, I didn’t really understand everything about it. I read a post, that I thought my daughter had posted. It started out with a girl profusely apologizing to her mother that she was so sorry that she had disappointed her mother about the fact that she was a lesbian. The entire text talked about wishing her mother would accept her, and love her as she is. I immediately ran into her room, and said “Why would you think that! I Will love you forever, no matter what!”. I continued to explain that I will always support her in everything she chose to do, etc. She then burst out laughing while she explained to me that she just “liked” someone else’s post and she didn’t write it. As I said, I was new to Facebook and this was about 10-11 years ago. She then posted on Facebook saying “My mom just said I could be lesbian if I wanted” laughing the entire time. IMO, loving your children is and always should be unconditional. They should face the consequences of their actions, but love shouldn’t be withheld if you don’t like their decisions.
For anyone interested, The Dinosaur Island that Rslash mentions is the one from 1994. I just looked at the trailer and a few clips. It looks hilariously awful!
bravo for the 1st op in finally standing up to his father aka his true bully. it's quite hilarious that his father wanted to make op stand up to his bullies but never realized he was encouraging op to stand up against him
love listening to these stories first thing when I wake up. your voice and tone are perfect for reading them. your english degree did sorta pay off lol