Sexual Arousal, Desire and Attraction: What's the Difference?

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Time for another dive into the world of sexual arousal, desire, and attraction! 💦 What do all these terms mean? How do they interact? Science Hannah and Glamourous Gameshow Hannah are here to talk us all through it! (Is it weird referring to myself in the third person? Probably 😂) Let me know in the comments how you did in the quiz!
VIDEO TIMESTAMPS
00:00 - introduction
01:39 - arousal definition
03:08 - sexual desire definition
04:54 - how arousal and desire function together
05:51 - attraction definition
06:50 - science Hannah explains how everything interacts
13:25 - game time!
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Опубликовано:

7 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 585

@emmalang4954 3 года назад

As someone in the ace spectrum I'm really happy/excited that you talk about how we can fit in with this.

@cally3763 3 года назад

Me too

@jocelynmiguel3055 2 года назад

same

@Kotifilosofi 2 года назад

I'm aroace, and yeah! I experience "desire" and "arousal" sometimes but always lack the "attraction". And no matter how many ways I explain it, people lead the conclusion that there's something wrong with my hormones or I'm depressed or insecure... some people hit a bit closer with "you just haven't found the right person yet", which is practically true (at least until the "yet" part), but like, who says there even is "the right person" to everyone? Why can't I just get validated with the sexual orientation I feel describes me 100%, like everyone else do? You could as well find out tomorrow you're bi after thinking you're gay/straight for decades. To which most people would answer something like "no way!" or "yeah well but there's no reason to take every possible future scenario into account when I can call myself just how I feel right now". Why does that sound reasonable to say to aces then, to expect us just live in the endless limbo of "waiting"? I don't care if I learn more about myself in the future and the term aroace does not feel descriptive anymore. That could happen to literally anyone. I just want to feel whole the way I am right now.

@average-neco-arc-enjoyer 2 года назад

@@Kotifilosofi this is very relatable!

@regularjoe5517 2 года назад

I was just about to say this. It’s so hard to navigate what is and isn’t attraction when you have no clue what it’s supposed to feel like

@aliabdaal 3 года назад

damn this is such a great video

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

Thanks Ali!

@leozelt2156 3 года назад

@@hannahwitton do you experience arousal or aattraction to women

@fat_biker 3 года назад

You have been seduced by that Venn diagram, haven't you. It's nerd filth.

@shanlu9942 3 года назад

Ali... I didn't know you watched Hannah...

@VTAMLST 3 года назад

When worlds collide

@rulyon7222 3 года назад

Another scenario for Attraction and Arousal without Desire: You have an argument with your spouse or Significant Other. You agree to take a break and cool off before resuming the discussion. A few minutes later your partner is is in the shower and you see/hear them. Your body reacts to their condition (“Oh, they’re so gorgeous, just look at them!”) you experience arousal, and you’re definitely attracted to them, but nope, not happening. You’re still mad, and not in the mood for any sort of hanky-panky.

@julial.r.5383 3 года назад

Yes that's what I was thinking! I experience it sometimes when I see my ex. I'm not mad now, I just remember how bad it went, and I know I don't want to repeat that again.

@TheClosetHistorian 3 года назад

As an ace person, thank you so much for delving into this topic and making these videos. If more people generally understood that sexual attraction is its own separate thing, that would make explaining my experience a lot easier. I sometimes have a hard time explaining to people what it's like to just not experience sexual attraction, but these videos give me a little more vocabulary to work with (especially the discussion of spontaneous desire as well). I feel like because I don't experience sexual attraction, I am extra interested in the topic and any explanation of how others /do/ experience it. I would certainly be interested in a video about sexual attraction on its own, like how various people describe the sensation(?) in their personal experience. It seems so interconnected to arousal and desire, ie: sexual attraction is having either of these or both being triggered by a certain person. Also how comp het fits into sexual attraction is an interesting intersection, as it seems people can have an "ah ha" moment of "oh now /this/ is sexual attraction ohhhh I see" after figuring out their sexuality.

@sarazeig 3 года назад

this this this!! understanding the difference between these three is so important to understanding asexuality

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

Oooffff yeah so much of this!!

@flubberamoebes 3 года назад

So much this! I'm also ace and could not for the life of me imagine what arousal even felt like until I was 23. I had no libido and any attempts at masturbation just went nowhere, I didn't have the patience for it and it didn't do anything. Then I got a satisfyer out of sheer curiosity and, well, it did its thing - arousal I now understand but attraction and desire are still mythological creatures for me. To me masturbation is like a back rub, it's nice even without back pain - it's always sort of a "cold start" for me and arousal kicks in only after I get into it and my body responds to the stimulus.

@nikkismith8750 3 года назад

Sexual attraction seems so mysterious to us aces! Every allo person apparently knows exactly what it is & how it feels, but because of that no one ever describes their experience?

@SmallAndTallPeople 3 года назад

Ooh this is such a good point and has really made me think about how I experience attraction!! The only way I can think to describe sexual attraction for me at least is it's like walking down the high street and seeing a chocolate store and just KNOWING that I want to go into that chocolate store and I'll imagine what tasting the chocolate will be like and I'll get excited by the idea of eating it. Maybe I won't actually go into the store and buy it (desire..?) but from what I can see and what I can imagine, eating that chocolate would be pretty damn great and it makes me happy just thinking about it. (Apologies for the major innuendos but that was the best way j could think of describing it to make it more accessible..??)

@zZizify 3 года назад

On the topic of assult; I really like that you take this up. Sexual reactions in the body doesn't mean consent! I'm big on reading manga, and especially when reading male, gay manga, way too often the first sexual intercourse happens just that way, and I hate it! The one assulting is always like "You say you don't like it, but you're sooo hard!" or "Are you sure you don't like it? Your body says differently..." and the one being assulted always cry and repeatedly say no, but the assulter keeps saying that, so they always end up concluding that the assulter is correct. I find that awful, real gaslightly.

@michelottens6083 3 года назад

Yep this is waayyyy too common a trope in those dom-sub dynamics that seem to be in most manga erotica. Can't even remember if I ever saw one that overtly did it differently.

@MrQuantumInc 3 года назад

Heterosexual Hentai will do the same thing with women also. The best case scenario is that they want it but feel conflicted potential consequences, even then simply forcing them would still be traumatizing.

@lunalovegood2093 3 года назад

yep i write fanfiction and I try really hard to avoid that horrible trope. it's less and less common now so that's good

@justanotherweirdo11 2 года назад

Yes I despise this horrendous trope that's common in bl but also nsfw manga in general. I've read a ton of manga and manhwa and the amount I have dropped for this reason is concerning and the fact that I don't drop all of them but have still dropped a ton despite that is crazy to me.

@MrGamelover23 2 года назад

@@lunalovegood2093 why do you have to try avoiding that trope? How is it difficult to not write about raping people? That shouldn't be hard.

@MrsMster 3 года назад

The return of SCIENCE HANNAH!!!!

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

🤓🤓

@PostTraumaticVictory 3 года назад

We love Science Hannah! 🥳

@9ansean 3 года назад

@@hannahwitton When you say the glasses are fake, does that mean you don't actually need glasses to read at this stage in your life? They just complete the persona.

@Willowing_Weaver 3 года назад

Can't lie, the D comment got me.

@jacobrobar9430 3 года назад

@@hannahwitton well. If you didn't get my message about me wanting to learn more from a sex educator. I'm pinging you when you posted you're new video 11 hours ago. You might not look at previous video's that you posted. But I just wanted to tell you that I'm handicapped. I have asperger's syndrome. I get ssdi social security disability insurance. I can't get a job. I quit school because they kept sending me to handicapped classes with the students wearing diapers. Some of the kids. So I ran away at 16 years old. I didn't know that I could quit school at 16 but my mom didn't say anything because she wanted me to stay in school. But I just couldn't. But. When I was a kid the teachers at school said to my mom to take me to plattsburgh hospital ny. To see what was wrong with me. They said that I was learning slow.

@samanthabartlett4562 3 года назад

"Not me, and not John Green" 😂😂😂 I'm ded

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD GET IT 😂

@sllagnire 3 года назад

Love a good John Green circle reference!

@TheCheck999 3 года назад

I had to pause the video to laugh when I got it. 😂

@Narnendil 3 года назад

I loved it!

@AllyMay 3 года назад

@nognog3333 3 года назад

re the "is it still sexual desire if you're doing it to please your partner", I know for me (an ace person dating an allo person) there is definitely a difference between doing sexual things with my partner because he's horny, and I know it'll be nice and the (much rarer) times when I'm actually experiencing desire. on the other hand, there is also a difference between the times when my brain is like "fuck it why not" and the times where I am actively not in the mood, so basically, like everything in life, it's a spectrum not black and white

@lauracolleen 3 года назад

I love the fact that Hannah can stay so serious and focussed with a mini whip explaining science, yet breaks when saying "maybe you get the occasional D and that's great!" 😂😂😂

@Narnendil 3 года назад

I laughed so much! xD

@injustmusic 3 года назад

I was waiting for this bad joke since I saw the D in the middle of the board

@seankirchner2378 3 года назад

I'm demi and completely stuck in a B situation. I get aroused and have desire, but I'm rarely attracted to anyone. It's frustrating because I feel like demis often get included with asexuals, but for me this is not the case. I end up spending a lot of time alone. Dating apps don't work because I can't tell from a picture if I'm attracted to you, it's all about what's in your heart. I guess I'm just an old fashioned romantic. Also, a video with a Venn diagram gets a like!

@sami1503 3 года назад

well, demisexuals are under the asexual label (which is an umbrella term) ;) of course, you can have a total singular and personal experience/interpretation of it and even use that label as something completely unique, not correlated to anything.

@seankirchner2378 3 года назад

@@sami1503 Thank you for your kind reply. I've been this way my whole life, I'm not sure why I'm trying to label it now. Honestly, I almost deleted the comment feeling it was an overshare on my part, but I must not be alone in this, because it keeps getting likes.

@conlon4332 3 года назад

@@seankirchner2378 I think that struggle is a big part of what makes you asexual. Maybe you can feel sexual attraction, but it's still in a certain circumstance that our society isn't built for, making your life harder. You don't feel sexual attraction in a 'normal' circumstance, and I think that is pretty much what it means to fall under the ace umbrella. I know it's not up to me, but please don't delete your comment. You sharing your thoughts is appreciated. Ah, my words aren't sounding quite how I'm meaning them to. This is supposed to be a nice sentiment, and saying that you can belong in the asexual community. I'd be interested in why you might not think so though.

@seankirchner2378 3 года назад

@@conlon4332 Maybe I'm overthinking this. My lack of attraction makes me asexual? I have certainly been frustrated by this and have struggled with relationships. In the past I knew an asexual person that had no desire or arousal, which is not how I feel. This is why I assumed that I wasn't asexual. Maybe I do fit with the asexual community.

@conlon4332 3 года назад

@@seankirchner2378 I would say so. lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Asexual_Spectrum ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vyXv6ZxcE2A.html That video is Echo coming out as asexual, even though she's specifically grayasexual (experiences very little sexual attraction). I know that's not the same as you, but I thought it might be interesting to hear her perspective.

@alexchappell9756 3 года назад

Thank you for talking about sexual attraction and sex in general. As an asexual, people being open about sex and what they think about it makes me more confident in my sexuality, and I think people talking about their feelings in general really helps me. Thank you!

@martianpudding9522 3 года назад

I think a lack of desire in C could also just be indifference. Like maybe your partner really wants to do something sexual and you don't particularly but you also don't mind particularly so you just go along because you want your partner to have that pleasure.

@sagaurora 3 года назад

Yes! And I’m also thinking that this scenario, or all C scenarios actually, is the phase (potentially) leading up to D in people with responsive desire. As a person with responsive desire I feel it often goes from being in the attraction circle, to being in the C, to being in the D.

@charlottemclean6130 3 года назад

I often feel like this as a Grey A person in a relationship with an Allosexual person. I will often try go with it if I have managed to get aroused and/or feel sexually attracted to my partner because I know that this kind of connection matters to them; even though I often have little to no desire to pursue it, even in the midst of it (I often draw a blank if they ask me what I want to do next). I'm absolutely capable of experiencing sexual pleasure but sexual experiences don't have the same pull or gravity for me as they seem to for other people; I feel sexual attraction very rarely; and arousal is it's own peculiar puzzle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@joshgreen194 Год назад

agreed

@AltraxX 4 месяца назад

And nothing happens?

@edmondse 3 года назад

Wow I know we got the trigger warning but actually hearing someone clearly state the fact that arousal can happen during assault hit me harder than I expected. Thank you for saying it, it's important and hard to hear as someone who was gaslit about that for a long time. Your content is so important.

@SingingSealRiana 2 года назад

It is such an importent fact, that needs to be out there everywhere!!!

@IonIsFalling7217 3 года назад

Love the desire not to shame anyone! Very important add-on: Male sexual assault is a reality and penis-owners also may experience arousal during and assault as a physical response. This doesn’t have anything to do with sexual attraction ir orientation. I see you and I stand with you and your experience is valid. ❤️

@CulturePhilter 3 года назад

I was trying to think of how to say the same thing. It’s always troubled me when I hear some people make the claim that “ men can’t be raped by women because a man has to be aroused for it to work” which is of course nonsense because arousal, as stated here isn’t the same as desire and especially isn’t consent, it’s just a physiological body response. It would have been good for this to have been mentioned in the video.

@SingingSealRiana 2 года назад

yeah, just cause your body is into it, does not mean it is not a traumatic violation. For some people the body will not do anything, if their are not mentaly in it, for some the body reacts, it is not a thing one can chose or controll

@XYpsilonLP Год назад

It doesn't help that the "common picture" of men is that they are "always up to it" and "they are men, they all want THIS" It is an important topic. Not just for very violent non-consent situations but for relationships as well. Sometimes (especially in fairly new relationships) it is hard to explain that you have a physical reaction but this reaction is detached from your state of mind

@timepatches 3 года назад

As an asexual person who watches all your videos pretty much religiously, it was SUCH a treat to feel so included and visible in this video. Thank you, Hannah 💖

@ajoloteanonimo8350 3 года назад

C is basically 99% of sex for me. I know it feels nice and my body can react to it, but I hardly ever care about it. Depression, anxiety and others don't help either, in my experience...

@thenerrdpit7441 3 года назад

oof yes. depression is such a bummer. my desire can switch off from one second to another, even DURING. i hate it.

@SGTIVLMPC 3 года назад

Yeah i feel the same way

@LetsGetBookedUp 3 года назад

In terms of a sex worker I wonder what their Venn Diagrams would look like. Thanks for another interesting video!

@msmiami212 3 года назад

Ooh, I’m thinking their Venn diagram might be Desire on its own for clients (at the very least desiring the benefits of the transactional relationship), and Arousal + Attraction or all three for their partners.

@annamaria5913 3 года назад

I think I am currently experiencing sort of a "C" situation with a good friend of mine. I am attracted to them and my body reacts, but I don't want it to go anywhere because it would complicate our relationship and I would rather just stay friends. Mostly because I don't see myself falling in love with them and I know they don't like FWB situations.

@ladyicondraco 3 года назад

Listening to this video while at work with headphones and taking my headphones off every other minute to double check that the video is not loud enough to be heard by anyone else.

@reiliv_ 3 года назад

I recently came out as ace spectrum so really glad you went into this. It took me so long to differentiate different feelings/desires etc. For me, I realised I can be physically attracted to anyone regardless of gender so regard myself as having pan-attraction to people, but I am only romantically attracted to men, so am hetero-romantic, but I am not attracted to anyone sexually except my partner, so am asexual spectrum, specifically demisexual. It took me 23 years to get to this point and my teenage years feeling weird because I didn’t want to have sex with anyone and wasn’t interested in it but had always wanted a relationship, but now it all lines up and makes sense why I can find someone physically attractive but not be interested in them romantically or sexually. I’ve only experienced sexual attraction to my partner, and that was after I formed a strong emotional relationship with them, but I was always physically, emotionally and romantically attracted to them, so separating all those things really helped me figure myself out. I also struggled with thinking I had to have desire first to be into sex, and it never happened for me like that, it is more often a take or leave it feeling, but Id experience a lot of arousal and attraction to my partner, or even arousal on my own but minimal desire. I also put ace spectrum - demisexual as my sexuality on the recent UK census which felt good 😁

@SingingSealRiana 2 года назад

sounds about as confusing as my own all over the place attraction mess ^^ i am going by aro ace cuddle monster until I sorted out whatever I am demi as I susspect or whatever . . . . ^^ I experience very strong platonic attraction, often accompanied by sensual attraction. As for sexual attraction, I at times get why people find someone attractiv, but I would not want anything with them anyway. I had two romantic crushes I did not wish to follow up on and I felt no jealousy over, but I am not sure how much my not wanting a relationship was genuine and how much trauma response . . . my genuine heartbreak crushes where both male and similar to a point of absurdity when it came to exterior factors like lefthandedness, playing music, eye color, hair color, tallness . . . . (honestly, how can I have a broken heart from rejecting a guy?!") More instantly crushes where on women also quite similar to eachother, but reather diffeent from the men, though I never had the casual opportunity to get closer to them naturaly, it never developed further so I am not sure, if it would have other wise . . . . I do not feel like gender or sex matter to me so pan feels natural to me, but thats not what experience tells me . . .

@9ansean 3 года назад

I think it's very true that arousal generally arrives before desire and often without any desire or attraction following. It's interesting to me you said this is misconception that's difficult for women to deal with. Because I find as a man it's been challenging in a way. Because you can find yourself aroused by people or things that you're really know your not attracted to or even shouldn't be having sex for various reasons. That can lead to a lot of internal shame and anxiety when you confuse that arousal for desire. It's important to recognize that anatomical and scenery response is not actually verification of what the mind wants. "Responsive Desire" Good term to remember.

@leozelt2156 3 года назад

Potential C scenario: Fantasizing about women (as a female) but not wanting to act on it

@adaode3413 3 года назад

Just as I was thinking "hm, asexuality makes so much sense to me now", Hannah said she'd touch upon that subject later... I love how in depth and inclusive this was!!!

@lils6407 3 года назад

Ace of Spades unite! Our Queen of informational content is back! PS: Damn, that one dislike really bugs me ^^' there's less than 1k views right now who would dislike this?

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

someone has to be the first lol

@sarahwithstars 3 года назад

@@hannahwitton re: dislikes Dr Statham Green Wing : Bloody Bastards

@phoenixb.5126 2 года назад

for arousal and desire and attraction, for me i guess sexual attraction would be replaced with romantic attraction or even aesthetic. ive been recently questioning my sexuality and had a few troubles defining what sexual attraction meant, even just for me. thank you so much for the video! ❤

@GSlice37 3 года назад

A somewhat odd example for C is in friendships where you are turned on by a friend you find attractive but don't have any desire to act on it. Platonic relations that you want to keep that way.

@7211_ 3 года назад

I feel more secure in my asexuality than ever, thank you hannah 💜

@robertmenzies6939 3 года назад

Well 5/5 clearly a good student after all. Venn diagram wise my personal circles would be of very different sizes and overlaps. Also have changed so much over the decades. Interesting concept to understand so you can better communicate with your partner for better understanding of each other. Want to try this with my wife.

@louisphilippe5666 3 года назад

Hi Hannah! I've been watching your videos on & off for a couple of years now and find them really easy to digest & think about my own relationship to the topic of discussion. Thank you for including the point about arousal in assault 02:40 . I was molested 11 years ago & the fact that it made me erect screwed up my relationship with sex for a couple of years (on top of exploring sex with schoolmates in an all-boys school). I'm better now & the bitterness about the experience is gone. I hope other survivors who could read this comment know that it was never your fault. Thanks for creating this space for us to think & laugh Hannah! Much love from Singapore

@conlon4332 3 года назад

Out of all the places on the internet I could get my sex and relationships education, I'm really glad it's you.

@rose-2638 3 года назад

Just my two cents: I quite often experience attraction and arousal together, where the desire only comes after the other two. Also, as someone who is attracted to both genders, but in different ways, my diagram would also really differ between genders. I am both sexually and emotionally attracted to men, so I've experienced all three together. However, I'm not emotionally attracted to women, and I can only experience desire with people that I am emotionally close to. So I've felt the attraction to women, as well as the little arousal tingle in my stomach, but never desire.

@norbertbeckers1978 3 года назад

I love you brought back Dr. Witton.

@CL-tp3qq 3 года назад

When I saw the Venn diagram's C, I thought of someone in a monogamous relationship being turned on and attracted to someone but not wanting to act upon it because... they are monogamous.

@luxurylaces9809 Год назад

Okay so, you guys can just be visually stimulated but another female without desiring them or thinking about sex with another person? So then the gf shouldn’t feel bad?

@orionstargaze 3 года назад

Can you do a video on the asexuality spectrum? I've been questioning where I fall on that spectrum recently, but it is hard to find clear and cohesive information that doesn't carry stigma.

@SingingSealRiana 2 года назад

if you are asking yourself that question, you probably do in a way, it is a reather varried and wide field

@the_maybe 3 года назад

god I wish I'd seen this video like 7 years ago. I always assumed that my lack of desire was because I "wasn't ready" when in reality i wasnt experiencing attraction and mistook arousal for attraction, so it took me years to realise I was ace,, this sort of information would have been really nice to have been taught before I spent years questioning xD

@deedsreadswithtea 3 года назад

This video is game-changing. Would you consider doing a video about overcoming sexual shame as a continuation of this topic? Thank you for being such a positive and uplifting influence in the world of sex education!

@mschrisfrank2420 3 года назад

In my life, I’ve also found that the more I engage in sexual activity, the more desire I have to engage in more sexual activity.

@gracewinship6377 3 года назад

The concept of responsive desire has blown my mind and made me feel so seen!!!

@JayPh5th 3 года назад

Coming from the ace delegation (we’ve spent a lot of time on these differences), we don’t generally consider the external motives to be sexual desire/libido. If I want to feel good it’s desire, if I want my partner to feel good I’m /choosing/ to engage in sexual behaviors. But then if I get off on pleasing my partner, that could be a desire. Turns out it’s all somewhat complex lol. I think overall we tend to define “desire” as something self-actuated.

@2kn111 3 года назад

As someone questioning their sexuality, I really appreciate this. So often these terms are use interchangeably to define sexual orientation and it’s confusing. This helps clear some things up and makes me feel more comfortable exploring my sexuality

@bookterror 3 года назад

I think I really learned something about myself today and helped me understand my own asexuality better. Thank you, Hannah, for your fun and educational videos.

@agnesvolt2907 3 года назад

Honestly I have never thought about it, having no experience with other people I was thinking its always the combo,didn't realize how unrealistic and unreal that is. Great video, both educational and fun to watch!!!

@JordanThatblondegirl 3 года назад

Okay, so as an ace, I know romantic attraction and sexual attraction aren’t the same thing and that some asexuals are still sexually active, but it’s all very difficult to describe to others and it especially worries me when it comes to dating. BUT your explanation helped sort out some of my worries. This video is increíble helpful and tbh should have been a sex ed lesson in school. Excuse me while I blast it to everyone I know.

@mattdevereux5940 3 года назад

This is one of the most intelligent looks at the three feelings I have seen on youtube. During lockdown when everyone at home its even more of a good one to look at. The three emotions can be so utterly different, from a male pov, you can gain arousal even when your not excited even feeling sad, such as waking up in the morning, or a response to anxiety.desire and attraction as you said can be very different, or go together.its a complex subject.

@killitwithfire5377 3 года назад

I (as a woman) get aroused from the strangest things. Often when something is happening, that I really like and I get this whole body dopamine rush, a part of it is arousal. It could be from smelling a flower or realizing it's Friday instead of Wednesday. It sometimes feels like my whole body wants to communicate "YES" but the only way my vagina can participate is through arousal

@professorrock4698 2 года назад

@@killitwithfire5377 So true. It can be so random, sometimes like reading a particular mundane word or phrase (I don't even know), or thinking about a place. And then all of a sudden, a flash of arousal, and it's like "huh?" But just one of the many ways your body reacts to being alive I guess, who says it has to "make sense."

@Hillary429 3 года назад

“Not me, Not John Green!” 😂💕😂😂🌀😂😂💕😂

@michelleheegaard 3 года назад

I share content I've enjoyed throughout the week in my weekly newsletter and this is definitely going straight into that! You're one of my fav content creators these day. keep it up! Edit: also, btw, super grateful that you mention the asexual spectrum when discussing these topis! Thank you for helping raising awareness about it and normalizing it.

@verapinto5107 3 года назад

I have been thinking about this a lot, and was very confused, but this video was very helpfulllll! thank you!

@johnthomson6507 3 года назад

Loved the video Hannah. 51 still live with my mu. Never had sex and been confused all my life.I'm probably heterosexual but never matured sexually. So I'm grateful for the video. Making sexuality more understandable and making me more at ease with myself.

@EleynaAviendah 3 года назад

I still find myself referencing this video in conversations after months. I am making everyone around me watch it. Amazing video and such an interesting way to look at these aspects of sexuality.

@ZoeyMari 3 года назад

As a trans woman on HRT for over a year, this is a really interesting way to look at it, cause one of the side effects of HRT is a significant decrease in desire and arousal, though I wouldn't be able to say whether one or both of those two reinforce the other. Like, physically it's very rare to get any spontaneous arousal that otherwise might've led to desire, and even when desire is there it won't easily lead to arousal unless I specifically try. And especially looking back on it, it's interesting to see how much less my mind even goes towards anything sexual now than it did before. Even in cases of arousal without desire I now usually just think "that's annoying, stop that" (though part of that is likely related to it having become slightly painful cause lack of regular arousal also leads to atrophy). On the other hand, I do feel an even higher desire for emotional intimacy than before, which is interesting (though highly impractical when single in a pandemic😅)

@Finn-sr3fm 3 года назад

example C is relatable for me who has ptsd. i can be turned on and attracted to a person, but because of past experiences the desire just isn't there

@buffienguyen 3 года назад

i love the effort put in your videos haha and watching this makes me draw parallels to romantic attraction, desire, and "arousal", too! i'm glad you're out here providing fun, informative content and giving people the vocabulary to talk about their experience

@Raya-xw5ud 3 года назад

Love seeing all the other a-spec people in the comments! I find the topic of sexual attraction very confusing, but this video was very helpful, and I think got me closer to understanding, even though I continue to be confused lol. Thanks, Hannah!

@giuliadesai 3 года назад

This is so cool! Such a well done video :))

@krunchykrystal 3 года назад

This video was AMAZING at explaining the differences and bonus points for talking about the ace spectrum. As a sex therapist, I approve this video and cannot wait to use it with my clients to assist their sexual journies! Thank you, Hannah!

@spriddlez 3 года назад

This is legit such a good and important video. Thank you so much Hannah. Made stuff very clear.

@mariatrinidad1370 3 года назад

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Thank you for the video!

@millydixon3129 3 года назад

This video has really helped me thank you Hannah! I am currently healing from sexualassult from my childhood, I finally met an amazing man and am in the most supportive and healthy relationship I've been in thoughout my whole life. So i beat myself up a bit about how I don't feel desire, arousal and attraction in the same way I did before the assault. But it's nice to know I'm normal because 'normal' isn't real, I am me, my body is my body and there's nothing wrong with that! 😊 I love your videos, keep doing what you're doing, you're great! 😊

@sebastiancancino1332 3 года назад

Okay, I've never commented in a yt video before, but this one deserves a huge THANK YOU 💕

@DarshanJogani 3 года назад

Trust me, you're doing a great job by providing sex education and solving the misconceptions/myths among them. We need more people like you. Keep going!!!

@Silvana5225 3 года назад

This videos helped me so much in understanding past experiences that I had no name/explanation for! 😍

@msbbdarling1328 3 года назад

This was soooo fab Hannah!! Thank you dear!

@Stufunabu 3 года назад

Wow, that explains a lot about why as a lesbian I get turned on by male gay porn/sexy litterature. I can experience arousal and desire without the attraction. My coming out is fairly recent and I kept wondering if that meant I was attracted to men. But I really am not! I think? Still figuring things out. Love you Hannah thanks for the video! ♥️

@jhalakmalhotra4242 Год назад

I did have it with lesbian content though I am heterosexual .

@stanislawaromo3640 3 года назад

This is amazing and extremely helpful! Thank you!! ❤ edit: I think it would be super interesting to talk more about *attraction* (what that means to different people or how it can manifest). And maybe the difference between *sexual and romantic attraction*

@haftrox1 3 года назад

Totally agree! I’m trying to figure out if I’m asexual and/or aromantic and could really use some more info on what these types of attraction are

@salamanda11 3 года назад

I love the different segments in this video! You’re a fantastic teacher! 💛

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

Eee thank you 🥰🥰

@Norahlk 3 года назад

LOVE the venn diagram!! has made so many things so mcuh clearer

@baddiemoyd 3 года назад

Your videos are the only thing reminding me what day it is right now as I know you always post on Tuesday and Thursday🤣❤

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

We love a schedule, glad it helps 🤓

@p.ytchannel 3 года назад

you're such a great teacher

@btter710 3 года назад

I just found your channel and I'm watching a few of your videos now and I just have to say thank u for doing these types of videos. They're very informative and helpful! Also, I LOVE your personality! U seem like a very cool person to be around. Keep up the great videos!

@Aaarandom 2 года назад

This made me sub. Never heard of you before but I’m soooo happy to find your channel. I’m nerding out omg 😍😍

@conlon4332 3 года назад

You should totally to a sequel to this where you do the game show with submitted scenarios. Like, get people to send them in and do it with other people's scenarios.

@maggiemicdup 3 года назад

Thank you for this video! I'm so grateful for you're content helping all of us understand our bodies (and ourselves) better!

@15213211 3 года назад

This video is so important. There are a lot of sexual assault survivors that carry guilt, shame and even blame for the body response to the the assault and that can result in not only more trauma, but confusion that may delay the getting away from that situation. This information is liberating, thank you so much for sharing.

@mikaylawilson5795 3 года назад

THIS IS AMAZING! I love how fluid you describe these factors to be! And how they can be separate or connected or WHATEVER YOU FEEL! Thanks you

@domingodeanda233 2 года назад

Wow, that was pretty damn good, thanks for sharing your knowledge with us.

@shellstutes 3 года назад

I’m demi sexual and always love these videos

@cassidybennett2172 3 года назад

Such a great video! I wish I had seen it laid out like this sooner

@rheag9045 3 года назад

Great video Hannah! I'm a doctor and we medicos don't talk much about these topics. Thanks Hannah❤️

@alicehartley 3 года назад

Best vid I've seen all day 😂😂

@heathercorvidae726 2 года назад

Such a great video! You explained this so well. It really helped me to understand this subject and put my feelings and experiences into words! Thank you Hannah!

@palak8423 3 года назад

This is such a wonderful and informative video!! I love your content

@foolgazer 3 года назад

I'd sooo love to hear your take on types of romantic, emotional or friendly attraction as well!! Thank you for these kinds of talks:)

@MaplePolarBear921 3 года назад

Wonderful video! As an ace person, thank you for opening up this discussion c:

@estherbain 3 года назад

A C scenario could just be what you were saying a lot of women experience: responsive desire. So perhaps a C scenario could be when you put yourself in the sexy times, with someone you’re attracted to, but it’s just before the mental desire has started kicking in. Does that make sense?

@hannahwitton 3 года назад

Makes sense!!

@hannahproctor7161 3 года назад

Also potentially being in a c scenario where its not practical to continue engaging etc, like you'll be late for something, or you know the consequences will be negative (sleeping with a friends partner that you're sexually attracted to, perhaps?), but also, on the darker side of the coin, being raped or sexually assaulted by someone you fancy (or a partner) as well, in that there is attraction and arousal, but no desire. Its definitely a more negative way to look at it, but assault by a partner or someone you know is so common that I imagine scenario C is actually also then quite common unfortunately as a result

@justanotherredheadattheend955 4 месяца назад

That feeling when you know a video is about to change your life and teach you something you should have been told ages ago ✨

@nataliecree7121 3 года назад

This is a brilliant video Hannah. This has given me a really good way to describe my experiences as an asexual person so thank you for that!

@katie.sleeps 3 года назад

This explained so much for me! Thank you 😊

@mic3mic2 3 года назад

What an informative video, another example for the C diagram between arousal and attraction, in my experience as demisexual, is where you there is distrust in a relationship. You are aroused by them, you are attracted to them, but the desire doesn't exist, or is at least negated by resentment or fear.

@michelottens6083 3 года назад

I'll take that last section as a manifesto, and demand more of these knowledge retention quizzes at the end of all my educational youtube content. It was fun, and helpful as a summary, thanks!

@user-bs5uc7hn9l 3 года назад

As an ace person, another “C” situation I’ve had where I’ve had past relationships(so not necessarily sexual/romantic attraction but people I liked being around) and maybe they say something or something that’s kinda hot but I don’t want to actually do anything sexual with them.

@gemmi1 3 года назад

Hannah this video was awesome! Really informative and made me feel normal. And you made it easy to understand, engaging and super fun. Thank you!

@heyitsrowzee 3 года назад

This is my favourite video of yours ever!! IT'S A VENN DIAGRAM!

@zoe_nerea 3 года назад

I feel like this is such a great video for a high school sex ed class! You explain everything so clearly and in such a fun manner, it's awesome. I'm no longer in high school, but if I was I'd definitely bring it up to one of my teachers!! Especially because it explains how consent isn't a bodily response but a literal one.