Holy shit, this is why anxiety and depression make it so much harder to experience arousal or desire. All that mental stress is like a brick on your sexual brake. It's one of those things that seems kind of obvious, but now I have actual language I can use to express it.
@@hannahwitton wait this actually gave me an idea of like "inappropriate uses of sex toys" kind of video that would be really funny. Idk could be funny
When I am horny, I love what arouses me. But when I am just sitting around and not horny, I am grossed out at myself for finding such stuff arousing. 😂
I totally get what you're saying, but this kinda makes it frustrating for guys, because we have to surf that fine line between turning you on and grossing you out! Sometimes it works, sometimes, well... I'm sure you know, right?
7:24 As someone on the asexual spectrum it blew my mind when I heard that comercial like this were meant to have sexual connotations. In my mind it was the company showcasing that physically fit and healthy people drank/ate/drove/used this item and that the viewer was supposed to buy the item in hopes of becoming like the actors advertising the product. i.e asthetically pleasing to look at. Looking back, sex is a much easier answer. Edited the timestamp for accuracy.
This is so interesting, thank you! And honestly - asexuality is a topic I'm hoping to see discovered more by Hannah in the future. I would have never thought of this.
@Gob Goblin The way you talk about women as your "prey" makes me genuinely scared and concerned. Especially for any woman who might cross your path. Please consider therapy. Edit: Just a clarification - I see nothing wrong with you having a high sex drive and being aware of it or looking for someone who's on a similar side of the spectrum. But the whole prey thing says a completely different story.
do you mean the final book page in the sexually relevant bit? look closer 👀 (although it might be difficult to see but I promise it's sexualy relevant) hehe
I love the use of multiple "sets" for this video! Your office/book den is a great place, but it's nice to get a bit of variety every once and a while. Plus, love the science teacher bit 🤓; I never thought to use a vibrator as a pointer. Great vid all around! 💜
Thank you for mentioning the aspect of sexual trauma affecting your arousal. That is my problem. Fortunately I have a very supportive partner. We’ve been together 25 years. I’ve just found your videos but I must say I’m finding them very helpful and not at all triggering. Although that brief moment of recognition did make me cry a bit. Not in a bad way. More in a feeling of normalization
im a teenager and literally. everything. hits. my. accelerator. its also kinda weird cus my rate of attraction to people (very very low) and my sex drive (very very high) are very off sync and idk why
This is the time where you figure out how your body works by yourself and then when you are attracted to someone you'll be able to tell them what you like.
Being a teenager everything feels high and easily arousing. It's hormones and everything it new, and honestly is the sexual peak for most people. It mainly lowers when you get older or becomes more controllable at least. But you are not out of balance, just figuring out what you want and don't want
Hannah if you were a sex ed teacher in schools when i was there it would have been so much better, everyone would have actually learnt something and had too many laughing fits a long the way.. definitely someone the world needs more of!
I've always had very high desire but a hard time getting aroused, and your explanation related to how you are raised potentially increasing the quantity of things that would be hitting the brakes, so that even though I might have a very sensitive SES and not overly sensitive SIS, I would continuously get turned off because of shame/embarrassment/etc, was extremely helpful! It's been (and still is) very hard for me to reconcile the fact that I have a high desire for sex (higher than almost anyone else I know) but struggle with viewing anything as sexual or being aroused in comparison to those around me, and the idea that it would be because I have been trained to view lots of things that most people would think of as sexually relevant stimuli as not being, makes a LOT of sense. Thank you!
sounds like a sensitive accelerator. honestly, I'm the same though. even just having non-sexual conversations about sex with friends can something make me horny but it's not directed at whoever I'm having that convo with.
I know this most likely presents all kinds of problems for you guys but just as a someone on the opposite side of the spectrum I can't help but to be a bit envious.😁 I bought the book on Audible, though and am ready to learn more and work with what I've got. 🙂
Lol if only my girlfriend were this way... This book seems to be aiming mainly for women...do you think that as a guy with what people would traditionally call a 'high sex drive' (I guess a high ses low sis in this case) in a relationship with someone who is the opposite way, this book would still be helpful to me?
PLEASE can you do a video on Vaginismus. Its not talked about at all and effects so many people. It is partly to do with having sexual "brakes", but it's when the mental ristrictions create a physical reaction, and it is something a lot of women struggle with but have no idea what is. Its very hard to get diagnosed xx
The fact I keep watching these videos despite Hannah most likely never making a bathing suit one ever again is a testament to her talent, also 🥵 at the glasses
I have been gone for so long - this was my first video back, and YAAAAAAS I have missed your videos so much. You always remind me why I love RU-vid so much.
thank you so much for all the setting/costume changes, as someone really struggles with short attention spans and getting distracted this was soooo helpful thank youuuu
This video is so helpful! Currently I'm questioning myself what influences my sexual desire and why I feel like I am low on it. (Maybe it's because of antidepressants? stress? birth control pills? etc?) And your video was so in time! Now I understand myself better. Looks like I found the direction to go. Thank you, Hannah! ::) (Sorry if my English is not correct, I'm from Russia ::D Really wanted to leave the comment. Привет из России!💕)
Being Aspergic this is something I have had to learn without knowing the terms... Learning how not to panic with new things, triggering the SIS, whilst allowing the pleasures to turn me on, the SES, is something I have to be careful about.
Anyone else just fascinated by how much you can change your look just by changing hair and accessories? I had to do a double take at lab coat and safety glasses Hannah, I swore it was someone else for a second. Also, bonus points for using a vibrator as a pointing tool.
There’s loads of great stuff in the book if you have low libido although I’ll say that the pain isn’t in the thing itself (low libido) but in the resistance to it (wishing you had high libido)
i loved the video, hannah! and i love how you make something so explicative and intelligible that can reach a lot of people and teach them things about themselves in a fun way
This video helped alot in feeling more okay with my sexuality! Alot of my friends are asexual so not being the same makes me feel like I’m gross or weird, but this makes me feel valid ❤️
Hi Hannah! Congrats for this video! 🌈🌞 During the video I thought I’d be really helpful if you explain or treat more about trauma... It’s incredible how much can affect our sexual experiences and life over the years just when you think you might have getting over it. Thank u so much for your videos... lot of love🖤
Dear Hannah Witton: As I subscribe to your channel, I logged into Utube today- your newest vid. popped up. I'm sure you already know you have wonderful coherent articulate communication skills. As an older adult- I still find your presentations about the facts of your {& others} Lives compelling and yes entertaining! In other words- you're Brilliant! Keep up the great work! Stay well!
this is so interesting! i am gonna share this with a few friends having had conversations recently that a lot of this confirms and explains. Great video :)
This video is amazing, thank you for all this oh-so-very precious and interesting information. And the change of decor is so thoughtful ! Also, will definitely read that book, I just hope it’s not too hard to read for people with bad concentration ! Way to go Hannah, this is amazing, I keep learning so much from you.
So glad you made this video, I keep trying to explain 'come as you are' to people in a nutshell and struggling completely. I will now just point them to your video :)
Hi Hannah! This was so interesting, I’ve never heard of any of this before. A question for you though, how (and if) does relate to the asexually spectrum?
This way of analyzing arousal seems quite brilliant. I hope you talk more about it. Is it possible for there to be a mismatch between the things one identifies as "sexual" and one's actual potential for arousal? That is, it seems possible for the mind to censor what it permits one to regard as sexual in ways that contradict one's actual sexual feelings. Example: I knew I was bi for years, but I tried to hide it from myself for the most part. But when I stopped trying to ignore my attraction to men, I discovered things about myself and my sexual feelings that I did not expect.
As an ace person this kind of made me even more confused. Like I’m pretty sure I don’t have any specific things that hit my SIS breaks. I just kind of don’t remember that sex exists as like a thing, but I’m also very good at noticing stuff and have “a dirty mind”. Ugh I hate this.
A video on location ooooohhhh exciting. Great as always and being half way through “come as you are” now looking forward to reading the rest. Also can’t wait for HanDan Podcast part 2 😎😏
Slight correction, the sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous systems are part of the peripheral nervous system NOT the central nervous system, but there is interaction between the two😊😊
Although this stuff was not exactly new to me (I read a lot about sexuality), I loved how informative this video was. Great work Hannah, and I am sure this will be so helpful to so many people!
This is one of the best videos ive watched that youve done. Your always informative but this just really hit home for me as something to look into about myself. I just wanted to say thank you for that.
This is so interesting and makes a lot of sense! Whatever my hormones are doing seems to have a huge effect on mine as well. Going through hormonal changes (such as birth control, pregnancy etc) has meant I've gone from one end of the spectrum to the other and a lot of places in between. It's never been consistent for me. My normal is not being normal I guess 😂
Excellent video Hannah! You explained this really well. It is very interesting how different all of us are. Learning things like this helps a lot! Thank you
This video explains soooo much!! I’m a person with very high anxiety and the tendency to over think, especially in the bedroom. So based on what I’m understanding, it sounds like my over thinking, could be contributed to a very sensitive SIS. I.e. Life stuff happens=No Sexy times. I’ve never been able to explain it like this to any of my partners! Holy shit, Thank you Hannah!!
Can you make a video about regaining a healthy sex life and sex positive mind after sexual trauma or sex shaming from childhood and young adulthood? I love your advice and the way you go about topics so id love to hear your perspective on this ❤️🥰
I didn't know I wanted to see hannah in a labcoat and nerd glasses till this very moment, but I'm glad I got to see it. Please do more disguises and stuff! Take some inspiration from breadtubers like contrapoints, philotube and hbomber 😁
I thought my splurge of book buying (12 this month) had ended but how wrong I could be. This book seems right up my alley. Just want to say a massive thank you too. You have really got me into reading again and also have given me some great food for thought when it comes to sex ed lesson plans. Thanks hannah!
Hi Hannah and Community, one thing I would like to bring to your attention and would love if you could touch on in a video is people shaming others for not being turned on by porn. I’ve had multiple relationships and even friendships where I got shamed for the fact that porn doesn’t turn me on, it generally does the opposite. (Yes I’ve tried watching many kinds because after the 4th guy I dated got mad at me and calls me weird for not liking porn I tried to find anything that I could like and still found nothing, it just turned me off watching it). There’s just something about the sound and everything that is off putting to me for some reason. I like sex when I’m with my partner but there’s something about watching other people or watching people in general that I guess would be classified as a “break” in my brain. My brain also for some reason analyses everything like I’m in a class or something lol, but I’ve been shamed so many times for the fact that it doesn’t turn me on. More than one ex even got mad at me because he wanted to watch it together (mind you I warned them it wouldn’t make me want sex, if anything it would turn me off) and when we did watch it, it turned him on but I didn’t even want to touch him/then after watching it. Your channel is all about education and if you can spread that this is a thing and people shouldn’t get mad or shame others for it that would be beyond amazing!!! (I love your channel by the way! Been watching you for years! My parents and church kinda scared me away from sex so your channel helped me a lot when I was trying to finally understand everything and decided waiting till marriage wasn’t something I wanted but something that was forced and scared into by my religious classes.)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if porn doesn't do anything for you. Probably just means you're mostly demisexual or something. Which is the case for me. Or you're simply not visual enough for it to work. I'm a straight dude and 99% of all porn bores me to tears, especially close-ups of genitalia going in and out for what seems like an eternity. I clearly have a sex drive and as a dude I'm pretty visual and all that monotonous humping in porn almost never turns me on, except when there are very attractive "actors" or if they do something with each other that triggers memories. Instead of wondering why that is, I just decided to not give a crap about the usual unsexy porn and enjoy the real thing with someone I have a bond with.
I think you should conduct a video that will express how different parts of the body develops a different sense of Anxiety! For an example, pinching the cheeks develops nervousness!
Thank you so much for this video. I have so little desire for sexual activities (slow accelerator and fast break) due to depression and antidepressants, it’s so frustrating for me and my girlfriend. This Video gave me so many answers and I think I will read this book just to really get to know myself a bit better thanks Hannah 💓
I’ve always been at odds internally. I see and fully recognize the intention of advertising, understand innuendos, etc. but as an asexual I seem to be an outlier at times.
This video and your sex with adhd helped my partner and I a lot!! I'm very picky about when I get turned out and this is a great starting point to understand it.
