"She Doesn't Get The Dream She Didn't Prepare For!" 

I love that George told her straight up that her Mom did poorly at preparing, so she doesn’t get to live her dream lifestyle.

So I noticed the caller isn’t worried about her Dad. He just lost the home that he paid for, lost half of his pension, and has to start over.

Mom may find a low-income senior place but needs to get on the waiting list now.

The kids really can't afford this.

The Title of this Video is a Stand alone motivational statement! "You don't get the Dream that you don't PLAN for."

Grew up in NY, spent the first 35 years of my life there. I’m now 41 and so thankful my wife and I decided to leave. Best decision ever made

I’ve been in this situation, I have 4 siblings and one by one they dropped out of giving and now it’s just me😡taking care of my mom. It literally never stops with giving my money to her. I’ve now built up so much anger to this situation and have no way out

This Divorce then plan afterwards is a pretty immature and selfish approach. Now, she makes this her kid's problem. She fought for a home she can't afford. Relocate to cheaper area possibly out of state. I hate when parents do this crap to their children. I wouldn't dare burden my kid like this. Nevertheless, I wish them all the best.

Beggars can’t be choosers even if it’s your parents and George is right. It’s a hard pill to swallow. If they didn’t set themselves up for their “dream”, you don’t get to live your dream life. That’s not how life works. Best of luck to that family

What property is worth 150k in 2023?! Not buying it

How healthy is the mother? If she's able to garden, is she able to work to earn extra income for herself? Some jobs only require talking on the phone while sitting in one place. She can contribute in new ways and financially benefit herself. No need to be a dependent burden on children if she isn't an invalid. For example, ask friends if they may know of opportunities or inquire at her favorite shopping places, medical offices, libraries, senior centers or retirement facilities. I know older handicapped individuals who roll silverware at a busy restaurant. The gift shop at my nearby hospital is often closed because they lack workers. The indepent retirement apartments my grandmother lived in after she turned 90 had a receptionist to take incoming calls and welcome guests. Surely she has some skills to leverage that are valuable to transfer into a workplace so she can keep socially active while earning some income. She may want to coast during her early retirement years but she's not financially prepared to support herself in order to make that possible. Who knows, if she gets out of the house she may meet her next wealthy husband while working or even a lover that has experience with fixing up homes who will bring unexpected joy to her next chapter. 😉😀

Last idea was excellent. I know a number of people who can't afford the historically high apartment rent. They rent a room in a house with shared amenities. It's working out very well.

The mom can rent out rooms and keep her house. If the rents are high in her area, that will benefit her.

Westchester is really too expensive for most in retirement to live there. I grew up there. The mom can apply for income based housing. Unfortunate situation.

Wait... Why are these decisions made FOR mom? Mom is not her childrens' responsibility. This is not a fair situation for any of these children, who need to acknowledge that their parents' marriage did not survive and mom will have to accept the reality that she must leave the life she was living because she simply cannot afford it as a divorced woman. Does it suck? Yes. Does she need to move into a "lesser than" community or lifestyle? Most likely. The fact is that the parents did not pay off their home and mom cannot afford to keep it. It is not okay to ask grown children to put their own financial goals on slow down or delay to keep mom in the life she is accustomed to having had when she was married. Divorce changes everything, including lifestyle.

I don't think this caller has a clue about the Whiteplains area! She can get a condo for $150k in Whiteplains and the maintenance is about $700! I know the area very well.

2800 a month she can get in one of those 55+ communities with low rent

Just because mom is currently retired doesn't mean she can't get a job to support herself. If the kids are all in their 30's then the mother is likely in her 60's. Why wasn't that brought up? Even minimum wage in New York would add another $2.5K/month.

She makes $2800 with SSI but can’t survive? Now we know why she ain’t got a retirement. Terrible with money.

The kids are not her retirement. Tell your mom to live in a studio apartment. She doesn't have to have any more than that and you can get a cheap studio in New York.

Sad story about a mom who raised caring kids. Selling now and getting the tax-free gain makes sense. Refinancing now at 8% makes no sense. If they are broke now after someone working for 35 years means she and her ex never learned to save. I do like Jade's plan for mom living with her kids.

To be fair, her mother did prepare by supporting their father for decades to get to the point of having a pension. That is why she is getting half of that. It sucks, but it isn't fair to say she didn't prepare.

It’s horrible to look at your children and think they’re your walking ATMs to fund your lifestyle! I cannot imagine putting that burden on my children. If anything, I want to make my children’s lives better by making good choices today.

Mom can volunteer to do a community garden (my church had one and most of the volunteers were people who lived in a place where they couldn't grow a garden and enjoyed it) dogs can live with one of the siblings and mom if they own their own home.

How old is her mom? Can she work? My mom is 72 and works 24 hours a week for extra money. I cannot believe they are worried about poor mommy not being able to garden when she can barely afford to live!

She could get part time job, roommate at apartment and other options.

How old is mom? She can’t work?

There is no way the kids should be refinancing this house and taking on a mortgage. This will destroy the kid's dreams and create resentment. I love the Golden Girls scenario. That and going to an area that's cheaper. Mom, unfortunately, doesn't get to dictate that anymore.

George is bringing the reality......

what a hard spot for mom, and for the kids. 2 big dogs. and mentally, that all of this is because of the divorce...whether it's "his fault" or hers, the mental grieving is heavy and awful.

So many possibilities here. One commenter suggested mom get roommates to help her keep the house. Not the worst idea. Here are a few more: 1. If mom is physically/mentally capable, can she work for a few years? This might give her a few more options like paying off the house or selling the house and putting the proceeds into mutual funds and letting those grow for a few years before she begins withdrawing money. 2. If she just sold the property now, and invested the money, at an average of around 10% that would give her an extra $1000 or so a month. What would that do for her? 3. If she sold the house, could she use some of the proceeds to build an ADU or tiny house and live in one of the kids' back yard? 4. Could she find some place cheaper if she just moved say 30 or 45 minutes up the road? Kids are still close, but maybe cost of living is a little easier. Some combination of the above?

It isn't money. Family members together. Is nice.

Going into retirement before the house is paid off is stupid.

I am the baby of six and have all the responsibilities that comes along with taking care of my mom she lives with me I pay her insurance and phone bill and give her $400 a month spending money and my sibling help with nothing they don’t even take her for a few weeks so I have have to the house to myself with my kids. I am starting to resent them for not offering to help me out sometimes not money wise just to get a break because she can be overbearing at times. She’s my mom and it’s not a problem but they can offer to help too. That is the reason why I work so hard because I do not want to be a burden on my kids when I get older. I have been investing since I started working as an LPN at 19 I think I will be ready for retirement and be comfortable and not depend on anyone.

How old is the mother? She could be young enough to get a part time job. What about a town house where she could have a garden and space for her dogs?

This call just shows you how compassionate these folks at Ramsey really are. They had so many suggestions delivered kindly to this woman. I read comments down below about the family not being at all worried about dad. Maybe Daddy is a pain in the butt and never deserved Mom in the first place. I don't think it's true at all that "no one thinks about the man in a divorce".

It's obvioius the children have sympathy for their mother and would like to see her be able to stay in surroundings that are comfortable and familiar. But that's not realistic. Sell the house! She can live on $2,800 a month plus withdrawing a fixed amount each year from the proceeds of the house (perhaps $5,000). That totals $38,600 a year. Temporarily, she could move in with one of her kids, for emotional support and to ease the transition. Then I would be looking for an inexpensive apartment (fyi, some towns have subsidized housing for seniors). She would pay her housing/basic expenses, and the children could treat her to extras that would make her life more comfortable. "Gray divorce" can be financially devastating. At least this mother has loving children to back her up and cushion the blow.

Here's an idea, how about mom takes a break from gardening and go's to work. Poor dad lost half of his house and pension.

I've come to realize that the key to amassing wealth lies in making sound investments. I purchased my first home at the age of 21 for $87,000 and sold it for $197,000. My second home, acquired for $170,000, was later sold for $320,000, and my third property, purchased at $300,000, fetched $589,000, with buyers covering all closing costs and expenses. Not reaching a million before retirement feels like an unfulfilled goal..

What about an ADU or tiny home in the backyard of one of the children's homes?

Golden Girls 😂. Love Dorothy's sarcasm 😂.

I'm starting to notice you could play MGTOW bingo with Dave's comment section 😂

Tell the mom to get a damn job. easy answer

It's much better to help your parents with gifts as opposed to ongoing obligations. Pay off that car note, go to their bank and pay down some of their mortgage, but don't commit to ongoing support. That's because few people in their 30s or 40s have the extra resources to guarantee they will always meet that obligation.

Parents should never burden their children, unless they are destitute. This lady needs to cut her loses and create a new life of her own.

these hosts are pretty out of touch thinking someone can live a comfortable life in NY on less than $35k a year. its a tough life in Arkansas making 35k a year and thats one of the cheapest states.

She might be able to take on roommates in her house. That would still give her the yard to putz in, and depending on the rental market, might be more than enough to cover the mortgage. There are Facebook groups for elderly people who want roommates.

Move mom in with you or your siblings… That’s the best option…

Tell mama to go back to work. If she can garden and care for dogs, she can deliver pizzas.

Since Linda doesn't already own a home of her own, she could consider moving in with mom and helping to pay the mortgage. Over time mom could add her to the deed. This way Linda is investing in her future with home ownership and mom still has a place to live with the garden and space for her dogs.

Per Ramsey guidelines- rent should be 1/4 of income. One fourth of $2800 is $700 a month- it’s extremely difficult to find an apartment at that price. The national average for a single bed apartment is $2000 right now. Not to mention finding place in New York! It seems sad to tell mom to move to - say rural Arkansas - when her whole family and kids live in New York.

If I was in their position I would have my mom move in with me and since she is renting she can buy a house for herself and her family and have the mom contribute a certain amount. It’s a win win for both parties.

There’s also this thing called a job. She must be early 60’s. Plenty of time to make some $$$

Accessory Dwelling Units (ADUs) grants program is offered in New York state, can build a dwelling unit on your property. Mom can sell her house and live there on daughter's property while paying low rent to her.

This is an unfortunate situation for the mother. I would have asked the balance on the house or when it would be paid off. That would have been good to know. There are various ways that the children could help out, instead of paying her bills. One or two of them could move back in and help financially to get the home up to standard while they are saving for themselves. Another option would be if one of the children is OK, with living with the mother, she could sell the home and they could team up to purchase another home together or be a co-owner with the mother.

“You don’t get the dream you don’t plan for.” I have mixed feeling about this statement. Many families make the decision that the mom will stay home and raise the kids. This family seem to have more than 3 kids! Kids leave home, mom and dad have nothing in common so they divorce! Mom spent her formative years working in the home, taking care of the home, not earning a salary, pension, or being able to save for her retirement! There is a reason her kids feel responsible to take care of her! I don’t know, this situations sucks! I wish them all the best🙏🏾❤️

Assuming the husband isn't beating her or there's no infidelity, has she considered not getting divorced and resolving their issues?

I’ve been no contact with my mother after she was put in a position where she has to sell and move and asked what I can help with for her new home. Like I don’t have my own wife, kid, and debts I need to tend to. This is hard but necessary. They make it sound like the obvious choice is so easy to make. I wish everyone the best and strength

Keep it simple...get her a nice apartment.

150K in NY NO WAY AT LEAST 400k

Also, the mom could look into subsidized senior living places.

Till death do us part, The vows said. There are consequences for this

Americans and their divorces. You would think with decades of failure and an over 50 percent divorce rate that they would just call it a day and let the institution die. Leads me to believe that its all about showing off for the wedding with no intentions of working hard to have a successful marriage.

This situation sucks.

She may qualify for a lower income senior apartment if incomes are high in her area, and her income is relatively low.

150 Grand in White Plains,NY is unheard off

Well how much is the mortgage? And how many years left? She can more than live on 1k or even less. She can contribute $1800 towards the mortgage and if there is more you can split it depending on how many yrs is left on the mortgage. Do not get rid of that house!

My first question is, who initiated the divorce?

1: Why is an elderly woman getting divorced. At that point in life? Really? Suck it up and sleep on the couch till you die. 2: So who’s helping Dad? Gotta love only hearing one side of the story.

It sucks that it's the children's problem. Parents are supposed to support the kids, not the other way around. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom while the kids are little, that's probably fine if the finances allow it, but once the kids are in school, she needed to start some kind of work, even if it was just part-time. These kids are in their 30s now...what has she been doing for the last 20-25 years?

How about you all just keep the hell out of this?! Both of your parents are adults, and can deal with their own crap!!

Mom was working too!

You won’t like it but mom needs to move to a less expensive area. I said mom not the whole family. She just can not afford where she lives.

Leave mom in the house don't even talk about renting apartment for 2300 leave mom in the house and everybody chipped in the end.

Sounds like the mom has not worked but may need at least a small pet time job to get this more independent lifestyle

No thought for the father but the whole family is banding together to pay for her to live in a whole house by herself 😅

That house will most definitely sell for more than $150k. She is WAY underestimating it. I know because I live in the vicinity of White Plains and my co-op apartment is selling for just over $100K.

Again, taxes and life in general doesn't apply on this show. She just said her mom gets $2,800 and you guys are suggesting she could find an apartment in New York that she could afford. She wouldn't be able to even find a one-bedroom for less than $2,500 in White Plains, NY. She would get a 500 ft² studio on the third floor of something without an elevator for $2300. What about food? What about taxes? What about medical? She doesn't have anything. Ship her to Mexico, she could live like a queen there.

Love the "golden girls" idea!

White plains NY is a high property tax area

I'll bet where she ends up that there are local parks and a local park board who would love to have an experienced gardener volunteer to help.

obviously the best option is for Linda to just buy a home of her own and let mom live there and help with the mortgage etc, and if some other siblings also want to help then so be it, but they wouldnt have any stake in the ownership of the home.

That house and mom sounds like a nightmare. Financial incest as Dave has said!

*You do not get the life you didn't prepare for * is that what said 😮

something in her numbers is not mathing. How is the house worth so little in such an expensive city. I get it needs renovations but it doesn't make sense and you can definitley get somthig under 2800 to rent in White Plains, and if not then move to another city in the county.

5:59 Agree with Jade but based on experience the mom isn't going to be thrilled (ie she may cause problems) about being tossed around to different sibling's homes.

This is the classic making other people’s problem, your problem. I certainly support helping parents, but maybe mom and dad shouldn’t have gotten divorced. Now mom is making her problems, her children’s problem. Nice parent

How about mom gets a part-time job and gets a studio apartment?

The kids have zero responsibility for anything. The mom is an adult and chose this. Anything they decide to do bettet be appreciated by the mom.

that is ok money!!!!!!!!!!!

Get married & combine finances but let's go to line 2 with a call about divorce...EVERY DAY!

Let mom take care of herself. Unless she’s very very old or senile. there is low income housing for seniors. They usually take a third of income.

Mom could easily stay home. Don’t get divorced.

I live in an apartment. We all have to be realistic in life sometimes

Did she say to her husband? I'm NOT HAPPY...

Get a divorce and now her kids got to figure it out WTF. She can’t get a divorce work it out

A woman who can still garden and has two big dogs can get a job and work, at least part time. This daughter needs to learn to step aside and let her parents fend for themselves.

She's strong and independent that's why she's venturing out alone now she'll figure it out 👍

I can clearly see the obvious as soon as she called. I never understand why the obvious isn’t obvious to people who call and I’m not a financial expert by far. Common sense isn’t so common

Terrible idea Linda. Please don’t do it.