she REFUSED to tattoo me r/AITA 

That birthday one got me. Horrible, horrible parenting. I feel sick to my stomach thinking of all the other ways that kid has probably been emotionally manipulated by her mother all her life.

Mother let's her minor daughter go hungry on her birthday no less to feed her adult son who has a job and could pay for it himself....

The last one is a literal child. Mom asking her to go without food on ANY day, (let alone her birthday) to favor her adult son is not okay.

Actually, if the deceased wanted to leave stuff to his family, then they ARE entitled to it. The uncle is being absolutely awful, and has possibly broken laws, depending on where they live. OP has every right to wonder where his rightfully owed inheritance is.

Talking the birthday OP into going hungry, while mom and brother eat and drink during OP’s alleged birthday dinner? Mom and brother are in the wrong.

The shrimp one makes my blood boil. Like you said, the mum should have skipped her meal. I hope it’s fake because if it’s not it sounds like that kid might be being brought up in an abusive environment, at least since their dad died. Hope OP is able to move out soon and begin healing.

If grandpa left the first OP less than they expected, then "You're not entitled to his money" and "Be grateful" would make sense. Neither of those sentiments apply to the situation with the uncle, though. OP IS entitled to know what the uncle is hiding, and has zero obligation to feel grateful to the uncle for delaying over a decade and being shady.

oh my god the birthday shrimp story makes me SO MAD WHAT A TERRIBLE MOM

The birthday shrimp story, OP didn't offer, she agreed purely to keep the peace after her mum prompted it! Totally different. Also why did she make it need to be bottomless or nothing? Couldn't mum have offered a different cheaper shrimp order instead, rather than making her daughter go without completely? Mum is 1000% TA here. (Side note, restaurants that offer "bottomless" menu options generally don't like when the order gets shared around the table more than a taste or two. It's intended to be bottomless for one guest only, not the whole group. Or at least this is the case in the USA, I can't speak for whether other countries have different expectations.)

Paused straight away. No you can't do anything you like as an executor. As I understand it, the executor has to act in *the best interests of the beneficiaries* It's already sounding suss from what the OP has said, if that is the case. As a beneficiary, the OP has a right to know what is happening with regard to the estate. It it doesn't sound like the OP is being unreasonable, and it does sound like the uncle has been embezzling funds. Not the arsehole.

Turning down the stepmom's request will not cause tension. The stepmom not being reasonable or teachable will cause tension. She sounds like a real peach.

Omg the shrimp one is horrible! Brother clearly gets a salary and can pay for himself why’s it not that the mum and brother both paying to ensure OP has the best birthday. As if she told her daughter to not order anything to pay for herself and the brother 😞

Oof. The shrimp one still has me pissed off. That poor kid. Alcoholic drinks at a restaurant are a freaking FRILL, you don't tell your daughter not to EAT (ESPECIALLY on her birthday, but EVER) because your son wants booze! What the actual QUACK!!! I hope that girl finds a chosen family that is good to her so she can turn her back on that HEARTLESS COW.

Story 1, I'm betting that the uncle is trying to keep the difference between the housing value when the grandfather died & the now MUCH higher housing rates! I definitely couldn't tell Shaaba's eyebrows were tattooed! They look really good! For story 2: I absolutely think you can tell her you don't tattoo family/friends! story 3: im betting this isn't the only neglect OP is experiencing! The use of her dad "being disappointed in her" was ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! Story 4: I definitely don't think its realistic to think OP would remember what would be up on his laptop from 3 years ago!

The first one got me. That is *rank* with fraud, and yes he should have gotten a lawyer within the first year. As a CFE, I can assure you that most fraud is perpetrated by somebody who has worked their way into a positional trust. It's not always the case, but access is a key element of being able to commit the fraud.

The shrimp story makes me so mad. How could that girl’s mom ask her daughter to not eat (regardless of her birthday or not) and then proceed to eat in front of her??? Wtf? "You made me look like an a-hole in front of your brother" no ma’am, YOU made YOURSELF look like an a-hole because you ARE one. Why couldn’t she simply say, "Hey, son, those drinks are really expensive and it’s your sister’s birthday. I don’t have enough money to pay for everything. Will you please pay for your drinks?" Or at LEAST ask him to chip in. Asking her daughter to not eat is NOT the move. Especially given the brother is an adult man with a job. It’s so clear by what she said that she manipulates that poor kid all the time :( Saying her father would be disappointed? F*ck off with that. Some people don’t deserve children and she is one of those people. Also, how did the brother not OFFER to pay for something when he saw his sister not eating? If I was the brother in this situation, I would’ve been like, "Hey, sister, why aren’t you eating?" Then I’d offer to chip in. Absolutely ridiculous of this to happen. Sorry, I just have strong feelings about this. I’ve had to deal with favoritism in my family before. It’s such a not okay thing to do.

Hello, my mom is an elder law attorney, so she deals with wills, deed, durable powers of attorneys, all that stuff. In the United States, where it sounds like the first OP is from, you absolutely need to be concerned about taxes. While in most US states, the executor is supposed to pay the estate tax for the whole will within 9 months of the passing, if the assets inherited are over a set value (determined by each state), the OP will be required to pay income tax. If uncle tells the government he gave OP and family their shares but the information is incorrect, OP could easily file taxes incorrectly and the US government goes pretty hard for tax fraud in these cases.

the ur not owed thing has a hole in it because… the grandfather obvioulsly gave the uncle his wishes as to how it would be dealt with, and the fact it was disregarded is frankly gross of the uncle to do. because in the end it wasnt given to the uncle to steal, it was given to divy out

The shrimp birthday one was so sad 😭😭 I really hope that girl is okay

The birthday one got me in the personal feels. I was a people pleasing "yes man" to my family for a lot of years and only recently started enforcing boundaries and learning to say "no" when I don't want to do something that doesn't sit right with me. I'm a hairstylist (unlicensed but took the schooling) and my aunt has been mooching free haircuts off me since I finished my school and always saying "Oh I can't afford the $20" only to later go into town and drop $120 on the local butcher for their fresh beef. So I started saying no to giving her a haircut unless she'll pay me for my services. I took a trade and don't much appreciate being taken advantage of like that, especially since hair school cost $18,000 and I had to take out a student loan which I am still paying off.

Given some of the comments I see on AITA posts on reddit, Shaaba absolutely needs to keep reminding us there are 3 sides to every story

I feel so terrible for the birthday girl whose mom and brother apparently hate her. But on the bright side, she's 17, which hopefully means only one more year until she can go no-contact with them. I hope all the comments on Reddit make her realize she deserves better and that she has some good friends or other family (grandparents etc.) who can help her out when she starts making an escape plan.

Okay, what? Usually wills take a long time because people contest them. And there should have been a lawyer involved in the making of the will. 16 years of " i do what i want" seems seriously suspicious and i would have started a suit long before now for the paperwork.

The brother in the bday dinner one is as much of an ahole, as if not more than, the mother. He happily ate and drank while his sister had nothing on her bday. I'm sure he's been conditioned to some extent by the mom, but he's an adult. Feels like OP is in a cinderella situation and I hope she can get away from it asap.

Being the executor of a will comes with legal obligations and deadlines, which the uncle is not adhering to if what the OP is describing is accurate. Tbh, I would have gotten a lawyer involved within the first couple of years - I absolutely wouldn't have waited 16 years!

My grandad isn't dead yet, but has had quite bad health. He asked me what I wanted in his will and I was really surprised as I didn't expect anything. He has a collection of history books in his guest room that he does not use, but because I always see them when I visit I associate them a lot with him. I asked if I could have them as I study history. To me it was a unique and special way to remember him when he is gone. A bit later after I got the books I found out that these books are worth a small fortune, which I had no idea about. I am not interested in selling them, but it is useful to know for insurance purposes. I also found out that some of the collection is missing so eventually I want to get the rest to complete the collection.

I feel bad for the kids in the tattoo story. Parents should be instilling proper hygiene in their kids from a young age. Failure to do so can can follow them into adulthood. It happened to me. Like look I get that once you're an adult it's your responsibility too, but it doesn't suddenly absolve your parents from any of the responsibity they had. My mother didn't do a great job teaching me to take care of myself properly and then I had to move in with a family member who literally never took care of herself. Then suddenly my mother was shocked when I struggled to do so as well and just yelled at me, along with continuing to take me to a dentist who shamed me for struggling with executive dysfunction. I finally got the nerve to start taking care of myself and brave going to a dentist a few years back. They respected me, didn't shame me for being in the state I was in, for the first time I didn't feel afraid to go to a dentist. Like it's on me for not going in sooner yes, but I also feel I was failed by my family too. So if the kids are now adults if she never taught them to take care of themselves it's not all on them.

it sounds like to me the mother purposely forgot to bring enough money to pay for daughter food just so she could use it all the soil the golden boy. classic case of favouritism and it's not nice in any way. This is about more than just shrimp and one meal. Mother clearly has a fave child and since husband has died has essentially neglected the other child.

Story 1) NTA. Trust is earned, and Uncle is clearly earning a lot of suspicion, not trust. Also, the argument of "just be happy" doesn't work when it's NOT THE UNCLE'S MONEY EITHER! It's the grandpa's money. You 100% have the right to ensure that your grandpa's wishes are being carried out.

Depending where you are in life, an inheritance (of any amount) can be life changing. And, love 'em or hate 'em, hiring a lawyer sooner rather than later can really just speed things up. In my limited experience, it has been more than worth the cost Every. Time.

In many states in the us, cosmetologist can lose their licenses for doing anything outside of the salon.

the birthday one is so horrible. i have a birthday subscription to red lobster because my family loves it and i don't. and even if i suggest eating there well them eating me not, they tell me no since it isn't fair to me because i can't eat anything from the restaurant. so we never go. and mind you i am not the favorite, i am the least favorite of my siblings. and my family grew up a bit broke, so the birthday one is the worse.

Bottomless Shrimp: Maybe OP should try getting her brother on her side? Btw, a man in the military should buy his own alcohol if not dinner. If he knew the shots were coming out of his pocket, i bet he'd pick something cheaper or none at all.

About the birthday one: The mom is a huge asshole. She doesn't solely prioritize her son over her daughter, which is already bad parenting, she's prioritizing herself as well. If she didn't have the money to pay for the 3 of them, then she should herself have said she wasn't hungry to let both her children eat. I get why she wanted to please her son she doesn't see very much, but she as the mom could sacrifice her meal so that the birthday girl could get hers

The uncle in the first story absolutely CANNOT "do anything he wants" with some one else's inheritance! He has specific legal obligations he must fulfill and that includes giving the beneficiary their inheritance in a timely manner. Also, yes, the family would have copies of the will. This person needs to get a lawyer, stat!

I love when we fish for A-holes ☺️

It was so nice having so many not-assholes today! As much fun as it can be to cover some of the unhinged ones looking for validation it feels nice to see all these sweet muffins that aren't assholes, too.

My Mom did something similar to the birthday girl. One Christmas I went back home and my Mom apologized to me because she couldn’t afford Christmas. I said that was fine and since I was older she didn’t have to get me anything. Then my Brother came over and she gave him all these gifts including an electric car. I didn’t care about the gifts, but it was another example of how much my family favors my brother.

Story 2) I faced the same issue with brushing teeth as a kid. I'm autistic and my mother refused to even interact with me (much less teach me anything). As a result, I had dozens of cavities and even root canals before entering middle school. So yeah, it's a valid problem for abused kids having bad teeth. 🦷

I've been watching you and Jamie for years. How did I not know that you practiced law at one point?!

Second to last one broke my heart! Honestly shame on BOTH the brother and the mother for eating without her?! What the hell?! How you gonna eat while she goes hungry?

"Botomless shrimp, can't they share" Probably not, in most restaurants who offer all you can eat things, it's a one person thing, if you're multiple to eat, you pay several times. Which is kinda normal, you can't really afford to have a family of ten paying as one customer XD

The birthday story made my blood boil. The fact that the OLDER brother got to drink and eat, the MOTHER also ate, but the only minor present didn't get food ON HER BIRTHDAY is incredibly cruel. There were so many options that would've been more budget friendly and would've still ensured a nice birthday for the daughter: She could've asked her daughter to choose a cheaper restaurant or told her daughter she couldn't afford eating out and cook her favourite dinner at home instead, she could've told everyone she only had money for one dish and drink each and anyone who wanted extra had to pay the extra amount themselves, SHE could've pretended she wasn't hungry, she could've told her son to prioritise his sister ON HER BIRTHDAY and not drink so much because it would be too expensive or made him choose between drinks and food... It seems deliberate to me, like she wanted her daughter to feel bad because even if she wanted to please her son or was worried about his reaction if he didn't get to drink (got the sense he might have a drinking problem), the fact that she didn't make herself suffer instead of her daughter is telling enough. If this is how she's being treated on her birthday, I don't even want to know how she's treated on ordinary days holy shit. Poor girl.

Story 3) NTA This is 100% a "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" scenario. Your mother is the AH for denying you dinner, and your brother is the AH for getting expensive drinks at a 17 y/o's birthday.

Any parent who has a favorite child is so upsetting to me. I'm disappointed in the brother too. He should have made sure his sister is celebrated on her birthday. My brother would have never sat there are ate and drank while I got nothing. I have two sons and can't imagine one being the "golden child." It's disgusting. If one has straight A's and the other struggles in school, so what? We'll get tutors or see if there's a reason for why one of the boys is having a hard time. I can't comprehend selfish parents, and it makes me so sad for their kids. I want to take OP out for her favorite meal right now.

The pink hair is pinkin' gorgeously today 💗

The birthday one got me so bad I literally went to go find the post to tell her she's not the asshole, poor girl ): I cried last year on my birthday at dinner, never fun to cry on your birthday and it's completely unfair what her mother did

Since I do my parent's taxes, and as an american: they SO would tax you on money you don't know you have. JUST my american knowledge btw, in other countries it may be different. You 100% want to know how much you have for inheritance as they'll tax you on it no matter what, they aren't your accountant and they don't care if your accountant sucks (and generally even then they'll make you pay for your accountants mistakes). The only thing they care about is fraud/scam accountants, so highkey I'd get a lawyer. Possibly with another beneficiary if they want.

For the second one, I would set a precedent that you don’t treat friends and family

That first story set off major alarm bells. I've been the executor for my parents estate, and legally you are required to put everything into probate and then dispense the inheritance immediately after. There would have been paperwork sent to the OP about that or the OP's parents/guardians by the lawyers the uncle hired to execute all the legalities and updates on the status of things. The fact they haven't received even a copy of the will as someone named in it is alarming. Something is VERY fishy and the OP needs to get their own lawyer immediately.

4:28 A cousin of my grandpa died and the state of new york did take 16 years in providing a resolution for the inheritance since she left no will, so the process in the US can take this long. Asking for receipts is perfectly fine, though

😮 OMG I'm having the same issue with my step brother who is the executor of my dad's estate. My dad died in 2009!!!

It boggles my mind that the 17yo's mom could really be like that. Yeah $21 for a meal is a lot but it's ENDLESS, I'd really like to know what mom and brother got to eat. The fact that they got anything at all is heartbreaking like why'd the youngest, ON HER BDAY, have to give up eating????

This always makes my mondays better

i literally teared up about the birthday shrimp, wow, just wow. i just hope OP gets to celebrate the rest of their birthdays with people that treat them way better than their mum just did.

Arguments about wills make me so angry. Both of my grandparents passed a few years ago and as far as Im aware, everything was split between my mum and uncle (their only 2 kids). I, their only biological grandchild, didn’t get any money or anything apart from a few tidbits I chose from the house! AND I HAVENT THOUGHT ABOUT IT EVEN ONCE! No one is entitled to anything but at the same time, a will is a LEGAL document and when there is money involved, things should be sorted in like 2 years tops. Why on EARTH do people get so shady and awful? Its just disgusting.

The fact that shrimp girl's mom had the AUDACITY to use OP's DEAD DAD as a weapon against her for having the nerve to be sad when she was manipulated into being the only one not to eat at HER birthday dinner at HER favorite restaurant is sickening. The only one he'd be disappointed in is OP's mom for treating his child so horribly and using his memory to hurt his little girl. Makes me tear up a bit

Here's the thing that gets me about the birthday story. Like yes, everything Shaaba said and all of the various comments I've read, spot on - mom shouldn't be making daughter go hungry and then eating herself, whilst brother is enjoying totally not-necessary shots with his meal. It wasn't specifically stated that mom was paying for brother's meal, but as others have pointed out, if he was paying for his own meal, why didn't he offer to help out OP? But even that aside, mom was presumably paying for herself, so if it's only one meal she can afford, then it should absolutely have been the birthday girl's meal being purchased. However. All of that said, there's another more insidious layer that I just can't get out of my head. HOW does a mother go out for their child's birthday meal and not bring enough money to feed everyone (or make other arrangements, like asking the brother to pay for his own)? Like... you know your kid's birthday. I'm sure OP talked about it. There had to have been a conversation seeing as the strong implication is that OP chose the location. So this event was planned or at least talked about - how does mom not go, OK honey let me check and make sure we can afford that BEFORE going to the restaurant? Or if it was planned far in advance, you still can do a check before you leave the house or before you get out of the car or at any number of convenient times to make sure that everything is in order. But waiting until they're just about to order, and THEN telling your kid "Oh, I can't buy you your birthday dinner, sorry," as well as not saying, let's leave and come back another night, but staying and eating yourself... It feels very planned to me, like it was an intentional humiliation or some kind of targeted attack, for whatever reasons. Like not just the fact she made her kid go hungry on her birthday while eating and letting the brother drink and carouse, but the whole premise for *why* because... she just happened to realize right at that moment that she didn't have enough money? Super sus. >

The birthday one hits hard. That feeling of being responsible is something I struggle with, giving something up that is important to you so others can have what they want... I really hope that this girl can find a better support network and I for sure recommend therapy

"the govermen would be fair and not tax you something you dont have yet" Oh ... No ... I wish They will, and OPs concerns are extremely valid, they could end up in serious debt because of the stunt their uncle is pulling.

For the will one, it’s true that wills and inheritance often cause issues in families, but I really think, based on the information we have, that the uncle is up to something shady, or at the very least, grossly incompetent and the rest of the family should see that too. Re: the birthday one, holy shit. I don’t think there’s anyway to interpret that except NTA. I cannot even fathom taking someone to a birthday dinner and then not letting them eat. Mom is clearly shamefully favoring the son, and maybe using the “well, he’s in the military, and that trumps everything” excuse. I also just cannot fathom asking your child to go hungry while you eat.

I feel like the op in the first one is owed knowledge of what they've been given

21:41 that one made me so sad. That poor girl. My birth-giver at least had the decency to never care about any of her three children, not choose one. As a mom myself, (granted I only have one so I get to have a favourite without it being problematic) I can't even imagine choosing to feed myself over my child in any situation nevermind their birthday and in favour of the other child.

On the cosmetology story, just say NO. Tension is better than loss of livelihood.

Sixteen years??!!! And I thought it was practically criminal that it took two years to settle my MIL's estate.

2nd story: Here in Finland when I’ve been getting tattooed or pierced I’ve given signed consent before the process. The contract also states that the client agrees to the advised aftercare among other things. And usually piercers/tattoo artist gives you the aftercare guide which I think is good practice.

That person with the will needs to talk to a lawyer, right away. They need to know their rights and how to proceed.

Usually you can't share bottomless or all you can eat meals. Idk where they're located, but that's how it usually is in the u.s unless it's like bottomless chips and salsa.

I was on duty overseas when my MIL died. My ex never mentioned that she had left our kids a LOT of money. My ex was the trustee, ended the marriage, took the money, and vanished. The kids and I found out about the money when my ex died after 25 years of comfortable living. Some people are just why there are laws.

16:10 I have a great tip for everyone who encounters discrimination on any ground from a business that they after that don't trust/want to use anymore, but also dont want to discriminate again. Most European countries (and possibly others, but I dont know about all) have places you can report those instances, that will then record them and both use them to gage what level of discrimination is happening where, and to take action against certain businesses. They are not often well known so you might have to do some googling and inquiringFor the Netherlands that is:

The person with the will doesn't say where they live, but don't most states have very strict probate laws? 16 years would never cut it here. The estate must be settled a year after filing.

So glad to hear you also have microblading! I have hardly any eyebrow hairs due to a medical condition, and nobody had any clue what microblading was.

2) NTA, your livelihood is worth more than tension that already exists with Dad's partner getting a little more intense.

When my great uncle died,there was a huge argument about his house (he had no children, so it was between his remaining siblings) and Party 1 wanted to sell the house to someone who was interested right away, but Party 2 was NOOOO we need to evaluate the worth of the house, in the end, they sold it for less than the first person interested would have paid, plus all the expenses they had for evaluating and stuff. When my Grandma died, my mom and her siblings had to go to the notary and that man was so baffled. He praised my mom and her siblings for being so quick and agreeable. The main part was the house my grandma lived in. Since my mother and her older sister didn't live there anyway, they had no interest in it. So it was between my uncle and my moms youngest sister, and they agreed that she would get the house, because she is the youngest. Because if my uncle dies they would have to go through the whole process of transferring the house again.

Regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little peaches, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Shrimp mom in 20 years: "why doesn't my daughter talk to me anymore?!?"

The first tattoo artist I ever approached challenged and lowkey humiliated me for wanting my first tattoo placed “upside down” on the inside of my wrist. I’m an anxious person and hate confrontation, but I did stand my ground and explain why I wanted it that way. When she was still unconvinced, I thanked her for her time and said I won’t make her do the work if she’s not comfortable doing it, I’ll find someone else. At that point, she said she’d do it but I couldn’t say she did the work. I should have just left, but I agreed. Lesson learned on that. Ultimately, I understand why she was uncomfortable: my first tattoo and she didn’t want me coming back and complaining that it was “upside down,” since it’s permanent and all. I still look back on that experience with bad feelings, but it did have the same sentiment Shaaba was talking about: even if you’re in the right, it’s probably not worth working with someone who treats you poorly. Better to just keep looking.

people saying "you made me look like an asshole" when someone makes it easy to see that they're an asshole is very funny

With the first one I always try to not think of what I’m ‘entitled’ to but rather how would I feel if what I had left behind for people I love was not handled as I wanted it to.

There's literally no reason it should take 16 years for the executor to do their job unless something sus is going on

Fun fact, my seventeenth birthday is tomorrow, so hearing that seventeen is a magical year coming from Shaaba is kinda encouraging in its own way. Wish me luck, I guess!

On the last one: Always completely whipe your devices before giving or trowing them away. Always. Every kind of device.

Love these videos! Thank you for bringing smiles to the internet! (:

1 - NTA big time. OP wants and needs to know their financial situation to be able to make any plans. 2 - NTA I think. These are all legitimate concerns. 3 - Yeeeesh! Mom's an ahole, doing this on OP's Birthday of all days! NTA! 4 - NAH I think, if you forgot the thing existed of course you forgot what you last used it for. I don't know why OP didn't just wipe it/format it (I know I reinstalled the full windows when I gave my old laptop to family after buying a new one) but that's another thing.

Great Monday Morning 🌄 to you Shaaba 🩷

It's the mum's responsibility to check the laptop for apropriateness before passing on to a younger sibling.

"you should be grateful." For WHAT? She didn't get anything from Uncle. She didn't get anything from Grandpa. What is she supposed to be grateful for? The kind thought from Grandpa when he TRIED to give her something 16 years ago?

I'm so confused on how the brother in the birthday one didn't catch on. If OP wasn't hungry, then you probably wouldn't go to their favourite place? I reckon if I arranged a family birthday dinner thing and then said I wasn't hungry, my brother would probably order chips "for the table" or something and just put it in front of me. Like... honestly, OP, I know they're your family, but you need to work on communicating clearly to them both. If your mum is playing victim, then I reccomend chatting to your brother about how you feel. Sad as it is, maybe your mum will listen to her golden boy rather than you. I hope OP gets their shrimp! (Also, not sure how much alcohol in the US is, cos I know Australia is a bit different, but good drinks are around $20 a piece. A shot for $10 is also fairly standard. If he's having a glass of whiskey and a few shots, he has paid more than your shrimp. Plus a nice dinner for himself is maybe another $15. So, doing the math, you can estimate that mum spent $80 or so on the two of them. For drinks she probably left some room for him to get more than he did. So two more shots is $20. Your meal was $20. From someone who is living paycheck to paycheck with health issues, I can assure you that if she was letting her son drink, then this wasn't about the budget. Cos I highly doubt she intended on cutting him off early if it began to cost too much.

FYI re: bottomless anything. You can't share it. That's the way those deals work. They charge per person. Otherwise they'd lose massive amounts of $. Really messed up for someone to get punished like that on their birthday.

Doctors don’t treat family members, maybe the same practice should apply.

Background: my uncle passed away (pre covid) and left a very well planned and thought out will in a binder with everything laid out. That said, it still took 4 years to get the property sold due to the property lines originally being drawn out incorrectly back in the day. Anyway, yes it can take time - sometimes completely out of the executor’s hands. However, despite the house taking forever to be eligible for sale, the rest of his assets listed for each named individual required us to list on our taxes the following year and impacted my financial aid eligibility the year after that. Depending on the stipulations laid out in the will (and if stock is involved) can impact your taxes until everything is fully paid out. So OP should actually reach out to a lawyer if only to have them confirm that the home sale is being divided up as stipulated by the will. Just my take. Also from the US. That said, each states tax laws differ

Omg that is child abuse! The poor girl.

3) NTA. You have a birthday every year and I'm guessing it comes on the same day every year. Brother earns his own money, he can pay for his drinks. You are 17 and it is YOUR birthday. Your mom decided to uninvite you to your own dinner, that's beyond low.

I’d be contesting the will in that first story. When my grandparents died they left everything to my cousin because they figured -and told him to to split it evenly amongst us all and be responsible. Nope as soon as they were buried he bought a truck that he couldn’t afford -got repossessed and went to the bar a lot. His reason was “I have kids” he didn’t save any of that money for said kids he blew it on himself. I was 14 when they died and have 2 siblings I could’ve had a little bit of money! Nope all of had to go to him. I’m pissed no one contested the will and let the nonsense go in my family.

5:45 yeah, but OP probably is grateful. That gratefulness is directed to grandpa and has no place in this conversation as now the topic is what OP's uncle is doing with everyone's inheritance. Honestly in OP's place I'd go find a lawyer and ask what to do. If the family has a problem with this, it's not OP's fault. If they find something weird with the documentation they can all eat their words.

1) NTA and you need a lawyer 14 years ago. Even if you were a minor, even if the estate was infinitely complex with hundreds of millions of dollars in assets to be divided 10 ways, it should not take over a decade to know the disposition of Grandpa's estate. Uncle owes you (and your 9 cousins) a debt for any funds mishandled in the meantime.

First story. Lawyer up and sue hard. That uncle is not family.

Story 1: US Tax Person here. You generally can't be charged for income you haven't received. That being said, you know you didn't get it. But what was told to the IRS is not always true. The bracket for whether taxes are owed is quite high. And the giver is responsible for fees associated. The Uncle would generally be responsible for filing paperwork related to the estate for any number above that, and that can be quite time-consuming. But 16 YEARS???? In the US there are laws around timely discharge of duties and it's important to look them up. Speaking to a lawyer is going to cost but a quick google search shouldn't. If I were them and in the US, I'd go to the county clerk's office in the county they lived and died (if they aren't the same at the time of death) and ask for any records. It's a few bucks well spent. And nobody knows it happened most of the time. I imagine that the laws would be similar in other places as well.

SHAABA: Surely...the tax departments and government are reasonable and consider individual cases...surely you wouldn't be taxed on something you didn't know you have. ME: *laughs in American*

1st story: I have an aunt that is sketchy and luckily my grandma has put her trust in my uncle who is far more trustworthy, but I am preparing for a fight when my grandma passes because I am convinced that my aunt has made steps to manipulate my grandma's estate so she can get more out of the will later. My grandma has told me in the past that the house was to be sold upon her passing and the money equally split between her children. My aunt convinced my grandma to allow her to purchase the house about 2 years ago. My grandma said she gave my aunt her inheritance in the process of selling the house. My belief is that means my aunt gets nothing when my grandma passes, and the estate is sold and split between the remaining children,because my aunt owns the house. But my red flags are waving thinking she is going to fight to be apart of the estate splitting.