gotta beg to differ on that one. my mother is an accountant who married my father when he had horrible finances. they’re both now happily retired and still together! My mother has strengths my father does not, and vice versa. That’s life!
@@ggyjjbc It sounds like your mom took on sorting out the family finances? If so, that was a smart move. Your parents were fortunate in that your mom was financially literate and your dad was okay with taking her lead. My parents were the same way. Very few couples who are not on the same page about finances are like that though.
@@haute03Exactly. It’s not the responsibility of your significant other to fix your problems. No one is saying that she should never marry him - just that she shouldn’t marry him right now until he fixes his issues. Getting married shouldn’t be a fix to your issues, but rather a combination that can get farther in life than being alone. He’s actually fortunate she is willing to stay until he figures shit out. A lot of women would have left him by now, regardless if they are in it for the money. Same would happen if she was in a massive amount of debt; most men would not have stuck around and waited.
@@soil-playwomen love a “fixer upper” because then when it inevitably falls to shit they get to play victim and claim zero accountability for the relationships failure.
I dated a girl with 50K debt for 5 years. I paid all expenses so she could pay off her debt while studying... When she finished her studies she left me. Honestly this woman is smarter than I was...
HE WILL get back into debt as soon as possible ...fact. Never believe these types. I spent 18 out of 28 years trying to bail us out of debt till he HAD to file bankruptcy (18 CCs) forcing ME to file bankruptcy and while IN that bankruptcy he took money from the 401k just to buy a motorcycle and a Mercedes convertible! I FINALLY just noped out of that marriage. 6 years later he was in big debt all over again. Another lady dealing with his insanity. As for me? I have an 814 FICO , zero debt and doing well. I take 2-3 vacations a year and am happier than I've ever been . Being "poor" compared to his salary yet richer living.
lol y’all are such simps 😂 she spoke like 10 words and all you betas in the comments are like “wow she’s so amazing what a keeper, I can’t believe it wow what an amazing queen!” Clowns 🤡
She's a smart girl. And she sounds like she's willing to be supportive to him while he figures this out. And that's a good thing that he needs to realize.
When caleb said "okay i need you to move" i really thought that he wanted them to think about moving out of state but the way caleb said it , it sounded like that he was dead azz serious and was not playing about moving out of state to get out of debt 😂😂😂
@@LittleTimmyO More like he's with her cause she's got sunk cost fallacy syndrome and at the same time won't pester him over a ring. Win-win for that guy.
Except her parents didn't say it is stupid to be with a boyfriend for over five years. If they break up it is a waste of five years she could have spent elsewhere. Statistically speaking long term relationships like those are more likely to end in divorce and result in the women in particular less likely to achieve their goals in life whether that is a successful career or having a family.
Finances really aren't that hard. Not being a troll, but we all know pretty much what we should do. Human nature, tho'? Absolutely. Overcoming our human tendencies to do the things which we know we should do? You're absolutely right -- that's ridiculously hard. Content like Caleb's helps all of us. It removes the shame, when we see that lots of people struggle with these things, too. Btw, I started getting my financial house in order. In April 2023, I had $66,800 in total debt. Now, in November 2023, I'm at $44,000. I'll be done next year, and then I'm excited to start paying myself by hammering down on my 401(k), IRA, HSA. So, whether you agree with me or not, let me 100% tell you, that wherever your finances stand today, you *absolutely* can improve your situation!! We should always do better for ourselves, cuz we deserve better than a life of being broke, leading to an unstable future. Best to you, and anyone else who reads this! 👍🥂
For context: he’s 20 (almost 21), tried to move out, and ended up with a roommate who stopped paying rent. He’s already gotten a better job and is going to move back in with his mom to save on rent. He does spend more than he should (part of the reason he’s on this show) and was apparently just ignoring the debt for a while. He’s definitely young enough to turn things around, but only if he can get his spending in check.
@@susansmith493Dating is only as expensive as you make it. It costs little to nothing to make a meal together, go on a picnic, go on a nature walk, stroll, or even hike.
What a great woman. Wise in her hesitation, but also that was an unbelievable compliment. Her belief in him is honestly what a lot of men need in their partner.
She’s so smart. Keeping her finances separate but still supporting him and truly believing in him because she knows his character and knows the investment is worth it but also wants to make sure she’s keeping herself stable. This relationship seems like the ideal balance between independence and codependence :)
These comments are not it she’s literally just trying to protect herself from financial ruins. She’s not leaving him she just wants a partner that is capable of being a responsible adult and that won’t put their family in financial ruins
Yall think It’s selfish for her to not marry him since he doesn’t have his finances in check but if it was the other way around she’d be a gold digger and only money driven. Offended men in the comment section sound ridiculous. He’s a grown man she should hold him to certain expectations.
I agree with her decision, stand by him support him and if he is committed to making a change you can be there every step of the way.. but their is not need to tie yourself down to someone forever just to find out that their lip service never amounted to any change and end up stuck in a relationship with perpetual toxic financial habit that constantly cycle in and out over and over again
She's a keeper but honestly she should run. If at that age and after 5 years there are no strides, then what, is she going to wait 5-10 years for him to dig out just to start at square one. Don't waste your youth, I've been there and you will not get that back.
I had some debt from when both of us were unemployed (at two separate times). I managed to cut most of the debt down, and by the time we got married we only had wedding finances and honeymoon to pay off. Now we are completely debt free with our first baby on the way! Such a relief to be debt free as we’re looking at buying a house in the near future.
Shes being smart. Finances are the #1 cause of divorce but shes a good woman because she genuinely believes in him. As soon as he gets his debt in check he needs to make an honest woman out of her.
I had to get real with my partner of 5 years. His massive debt meant he couldn’t pay his fair share of the bills. We now have a joint account solely for bills and he has money transferred from each check to deposit in the joint account. It leaves him with approximately $30 each month for fun, but it means our bills are paid and I don’t have to carry the financial burden just because I know how to budget unlike him who was using credit a little too freely.
If your priorities are that it's fair, then your marriage is over and you don't even realize it. I'm not saying he shouldn't have discipline, but what happens if he gets his crap together and 5x's your income? Then he only gives you a fraction of the household income for fun? you'd be pissed and every woman would say you're right. So just remember it's supposed to be a partnership of sharing, not equalizing.
@@forthelulz8085 thanks for your concern regarding my relationship! We currently make the same amount and have an agreement that it’s proportional. If one goes up, then they pay a proportional amount of the bills; and the same if a salary goes down. Considering I went from paying 90% of the bills/all the food and having to hold down a second job and working 7 days a week for a year all while he could buy a computer and three cars while I struggled to purchase underwear for myself, I’m counting this as a positive step forward in our relationship. Not everyone comes in to the relationship with financial understanding and sometimes it takes time and just in general getting older to realize what a partnership looks like. We’re lucky to understand that relationships take work and talking it out. And if he wasn’t willing to understand that and then sorry, guess it wasn’t meant to be. Thankfully it didn’t turn out that way.
@@heartlessangel1460 he resisted for a while but we got it figured out. He thought he understood it all but once he finally sat down and wrote it all out, he realized where he went sideways. He feels much better about his finances now.
My husband and I are retired (him), disabled (me) and still working (him)! I wish someone could help us when we were younger! Listen to the man and do what he says and you will be so glad you did!
Smart. If you’re with someone long term and plan a further together know their entire situation. Finances is definitely a must. A lot of people have crazy amounts of debt and are keeping it hidden to themselves.
He clearly has a compulsion to spend more than he earns but I think its a bit much to call him a liar or assume he’s malicious. Holding a relationship with a girl as sensible as she is counts for something.
No, don’t be that guy. Good financial literacy is rare in the United States and you can dig yourself into a hole quickly, especially when you’re young. He’s trying to get better and took it seriously the entire show. Debt is embarrassing.
My nephew married a woman with sky high debt and she kept spending. I tried to tell him not to get married until she paid down her debt. He didn't listen.
If he is working 40+ hrs a week, throwing everything he can at the debt and making mature financial decisions then this shouldn’t prevent her from marrying him. However if he’s lazy and actively sinking himself deeper in the hole then she needs to break up with him and find someone else. Five years is long enough to know if you want to be with someone forever
Ye lol .... like she is going to stay with him just not marry him while he has bad finances even though I am sure that would be even more favorable on his part like they say why buy the Cow when the milks free
If he's not yet 21 like another commenter said, they've been together almost 5 years... there's no hurry!! I would expect both of them to grow and change their minds .
he’s still young has time to wise up. he’s already in the right direction by talking to someone on how to get his debt down and how to budget. and their relationship has been very adolescent for those five years because he’s not even 21 and i doubt she is or barely just turned 21. he’s got time to get his head on and she has time to learn to see if he’s going to do the work he got to after this session. this generation is vastly different than yours and alot of young people get labeled as doomed just because we don’t want to live the way the older generations do
She has invested five years to this relationship and plans to continue as girlfriend and boyfriend till he resolves his financial situation 😮 I'm speechless.
You know what would be nice? Linking the video to these shorts... while the thumbnails are trendy it's really hard to figure out which one it might be.
Honestly? Probably. Of course it’s 2023 and there’s plenty of women who are cool with being the in charge one. On the flip side, while I know my wife wouldn’t leave me immediately if I became a mess, the clock would be ticking.
Ofc the clock would be ticking. I'd expect the same out of you if the situation was reversed. It's both of your money, imagine if she regularly spent all of it on dumb things and didn't change. You'd get fed up eventually and wanna save yourself.
@hornetguy9063 the clock would only tick if you did nothing to help yourself. I wouldn't leave during hard times but if you aren't helping yourself then I quit 😂
@@jlovesj3335 I mean that’s how I’d assume she is as well, else I wouldn’t have married her. But I know she wouldn’t be cool with a guy like that for any sustained time. Nor should she be.
Smart girl. I told my husband the same thing and he eventually realized I wasn't budging and got his spending and debt under control. Now we are able to afford a beautiful home and he is very proud of himself, our whole family is so proud of him. If he feels like spending money he puts it he puts it into a home project. We've been married five years now, together 10. We have both matured so much in that time and continue to motivate each other. I'm a very lucky woman
Nothings gonna change. The lack of discipline put him in there in the first place. So, she counts on something he clearly doesn't possess and it's just wishful thinking.
Bravo girlie! It's his choices the consequences need to fall on him and she knows that and is not going to bail him out she knows he CAN but will he is yet to be determined. I regret joining finances with someone who didn't know how to manage their money and when you are married no matter how frugal you are no matter if you pinch pennies until they bleed if you are married to someone who money burns a whole in their pocket you will never have anything you will never be able to save they will consume all your efforts. You need to keep your money safe. You can live together and split bills sometimes but you can not combine finances. And I am glad she knows that smart girl
I agree with her. My gf and myself are in a similar deal. My ginances were shot but shes helped me the whole way. In coaching me and im surely getting out. Gotta ring picked out snd saving for it.
Yeah unless the woman doesn’t benefit from 50/50. The only people I’ve ever seen fighting tooth and nail for “half” is the female. I guarantee if these two split they wouldn’t give her assets away nor would they make her take his debt.
Okay people, have one account for bills, groceries etc that’s shared, one for savings that’s also shared and then you each get your own. Because everyone should be allowed to spend their own money however they want the only difference is in a couple it’s good to pay the bills between you both and have some money saved up together. That said people, be smart. Don’t combine it all that’s a hazard
Shes a thinker. Good for her. And she still Acknowldges his grit to move out of his situation. But clearly not gonna go for it until he straigthen up. That 5 yrs is not a joke too
I think they can make it. She will have to be flexible in a way that doesn't make him feel he has to treat her a certain way. I also feel she is a humble low key girl to be "babe we can eat ramon noodles and chill at home"
She’s smart. My ex was horrible with his money but I convinced myself that love would be enough. Worst mistake was staying with him, but thank goodness I got out and never looked back.
Treat a spender's finances like it is radioactive. Many _MANY_ of them will bend over backwards to get you to spend in your name, which makes it even worse, because they feel even less guilty about spending, because it's not their debt accruing. My step dad did it to my mom and my sisters (now deceased) husband did it to her. Never fall for it.
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