Should I Lend My Girlfriend Money or Let Her Learn From Her Mistakes? 

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I learned from a wise man years ago that you never lend money , you give it with the intention that you'll never see it again. Never give anyone anything you can't afford to lose..

Yeah lending people money is a terrible Idea, either you never get it back, it takes more time to get it back than promised, or you have to battle to get it back potentially destroying the relationship

Agreed. Never “lend” someone money. Give it to them and never give more than you can afford to lose. If they happen to pay you back later...great. If they don’t, you’re not angry because you gave it with the mindset that it was a gift. Trust this and you will never fall out with someone you care about over money.

If you have to ask this, then the relationship is already doomed.

This is tricky, because there basically is no way to prevent the relationship from changing. You don't give money, the relationship changes. You give, and the relationship changes even if you try to prevent it. You loan the money, and it changes. Really, it just comes down to which changes are acceptable and which ones are not.

My boyfriend covered my rent for a few months I helped him buy a car. I paid for a semester of his college and now that he's done he can go back to working full time and pay for a semester of my college (I already have enough saved for the upcoming semester). We make it work you guys are just dating the wrong people

Never lend money to friends and relatives. NEVER!!

Don’t loan ANYONE money. I had a boyfriend that loved to ask for money here and there, it didn’t help him a bit. Boyfriends/Girlfriends are on their own.

Don't ever lend money to a girlfriend. Either give her a gift or don't do anything.

Don't lend it, just give it and don't expect it back. But if you date someone with money problems, they will quickly become YOUR money problems.

Dave making mini Daves. Notice how John gauges Dave's reaction to answer correctly and how Dave coached him into mentioning the power dynamic shift 😂😂

Been there done that. It didn’t end well.

Don’t give someone else money. If you have to give your girl or boyfriend money end the relationship and just be “friends” nothing more. Once you give money, you’ve gained a parasite.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s gonna want a glass of milk. Keep your money.

Great answer to a tough situation!

If he gives her the money, and she lost her job, how is she going to pay her rent the following month?

You don’t lend money........you give someone money, because don’t expect it back.

Maybe I live in another world. If my boyfriend gave me money, not lend it, I would be grateful. I'd see it as kind not that he has something over on me. But if we've been together for 3 years and this situation happened I'd see it as he doesn't want anything with me and is waiting until he finds someone better. I wouldn't be with this man.

Dave: Sell the girlfriend

Give the money. No strings. Be a noble, compassionate person.

my mother has always always bailed out my 37 year old sister, who is in debt from student loans, credit cards going on vacations, and mortgage. She is living paycheck to paycheck on take home 65k a year. She will never learn and neither will my mother. Don't be like my family

The only people you lend money too are two people. The person that has it 10x over and just forgot their card, or the person you never want to see again. I loaned money to a cousin for the latter option 😂

Dave getting ready to get someone fired- Dave: "this is going to be a difficult conversation"

"never taught about money" This isn't quantum mechanics: you don't need to be taught that if you spend more than you make you'll get in trouble. This is just a lie people say to pass the blame of their lack of impulse control onto their schools or parents.

Always lend your girl friends money. It keeps them coming back. Just don’t let your wife know

The “two” guys missed the boat. Why in the world would you be dating someone For 3 years and running two household costs??? Put a ring on it fella. Or leave 🙄

The person he loves lost her job and can’t afford her rent. Of course he should help her get back on her feet. They’ve been together over 3 years. If he sees a future with her he needs to help her. It’s not like she’s asking for $350 to buy shoes and purses. She needs to pay her bills. He should help her with that and help her find a new job. When you love someone you help them (as much as you’re able without bringing yourself down) without expecting in return.

Sounds like a future “Judge Judy” show!

"Let her learn from her mistakes"... Don't use that wording around her or you'll be single soon 🤣🤣

She lost her job, help her out, if this isn't a pattern for her. Give her the measly $350, educate her, see what happens, especially if you've been in a committed relationship for 3 years. It seems very cold & uncaring to not help someone you love in need.

She lost her job, give her the money and help her out of the hole! Its not like she is abusing it. I wouldn’t let her struggle, Rent and food is something you cant take from someone.

In my opinion, when it comes to significant others, friends and family, you NEVER lend out money. That tends to cause so many problems and it turns good personal relationships into complicated business relationships. You either GIVE it to them, or you don't. The reasoning either way is up to the individual situation, but never lend to loved ones.

Hmm, so this is only about $350?? People act like she is asking to borrow thousands of dollars. The boyfriend doesnt state how she lost her job, or what caused it, but he flaunts that he is "ahead". Jesus, just help her out this time and GIVE her the money, hopefully she is on her way to getting another job and move on with life. We all need help from time to time.

Money has nothing to do with the amount that's "loaned" but more about the person who's asking for it!

My father let me fall, and when I got up I learned from my mistakes and was stronger than ever financially. Different situation though, you aren't her parent. Choose your partner wisely!

“I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for hamburger today” Wimpy

If she was a wife, MAYBE. But she needs to learn from her own mistakes. And it isn't like they are married. People really do too much for people they aren't married to. For what? If you aren't my husband, I won't bail you out. I don't care how long we've been dating. If we are married, it's not "lending". It's OUR money.

If you are let go from a job, don't be afraid to ask for help either. Apply for unemployment. Your employer pays your state's DEO while you are working so you will have some sustenance if you are let go.

I don’t see a problem with borrowing money occasionally if someone is truly in need. I borrowed my best friend $500 when she was down and out and she paid me back. If you’re in a position where you can help someone you love and you refuse to - unfounded, that just feels kinda selfish. I admit I’m pretty selfless.. I’m a Pisces haha but just learn from your mistakes. I’ve borrowed people money that don’t give it back and that’s just a lesson learned with that person. Won’t do it again. But most of the time & especially with my bestie, it felt like the most righteous thing to do 💕

No, no, and no. Don’t “lend” your girl money no matter how much she says she loves you!

I GAVE a now ex-girlfriend money because she was behind on some of her bills. I told her that it’s not a loan I am just helping her. Several years later we talked and she mentioned the money to me and that she was going to pay me back. I told her no I gave my girlfriend money to help her out. Just because we are no longer seeing each other doesn’t change that. She appreciated it more now than back then because it showed her the kind of man that I am.

Please watch coach Greg Adams.

She should be asking her parents for money not her boyfriend. Anytime some type of emergency happens my parents were always there. If you're not so lucky to have parents like that then borrow the money from a lender if you need to. Rent payment and job loss is considered an emergency.

Never lend someone money, i have 1000$ stuck with my friend for 2 years now and i had given it to him for 2 days emergency. To this day he says 10 days, 15 days etc and makes xyz reasons. 2021 resolution is to get it back and then block the guy for good Imp note - from India so the converted money is near 1000$ which for a starter in white collar jobs can be upto 2-3 months of income. So its mot same as US 1000 dollars, technically consider it like 6000-1000$ if you take it at nominal value face

"Girlfriend of three years" ... that already sounds like a mistake you should stop making. End it.

Don't ever lend. Just give gifts. Pay her rent for a month if you have to.

Facts.. gave money to my ex.. paid for everything and the dynamic changed without me even knowing it.. it was a slipery slope to fights and ultimately divorce after that.. had to work to get back out of debt from her and that's that.. lesson learned

Had to rewind, thought Dave said "you don't owe me head" Lol

"Lending" someone money Always turns out to be a "gift"

unless theres some formal contract, hes basically giving her money

Let's rephrase the question " should I be a massive simp and pay for her mistakes or ask Dave Ramsey if I should simp ".

Completely disagree. According to what has been stated, he's dated for 3 years. That's a fairly long amount of time. He's also said that he's done well for himself implying that money is not an issue. I say you lend her the $350 and tell her that she should pay it back as soon as she's financially able to. And let this be a test for the trustworthiness of your girlfriend. If she's trustworthy and means what she says, she'll pay it back and you'll know that you've found yourself a good one. Otherwise you learn your lesson for $350 which isn't a bad price to pay!

If he doesn't want to marry her I'd say no.

You’re with this girl for 3 years?! Marry her or leave already, wow..

This is a perfect response of how to give money to someone in need.

He should either give her the money or break up. No lending and no watching them struggle. Either will screw up the relationship.

dude it’s only 350 wth if she really needs it help her out that’s your girl lol. Tell her she doesn’t need to pay it back but it’s a one time thing so she can start getting ready for next month.

This week seems like there were 3-4 calls of guys asking Ramsey & team about giving their significant others money..

Don't lend her money women see it as a gift not a loan and she will just keep asking for more she will never learn 💯

3 years and still waiting for change. Sounds like he needs to move on honestly. Because now it's a power play.

I’m not a BANK. Every time I’ve lent money to friends and family it became an issue. If it’s less than $50 I might consider it depending on the person and their past debt repayments. We’ve all had a time where we’ve forgot our wallet, but bad budget management is a another story.

Great advice . Give if you want to give but don’t expect in return . If you expect something in return then don’t give it . It’s just morally wrong

My boyfriend and I have helped each other out from time to time. Whether it was to pay for outings or lending money, we took care of each other. He would see it as an investment and that always got me. We are now getting ready to be married and spend the rest of our lives together.

Don't

It's $350. Give her the money. Sheesh

You do not need to "teach" someone about money. They don't do that in Europe, Japan, Australia either .... but the culture is different. Good money habits should be covered by self control, being mature enough to delay purchases and a little common sense (for instance how much rent your income allows). In the U.S. consumerism is pushed way more and enabled by weak legal restrictions how much money banks can lend. Credit card debt is condoned, payday lenders are allowed. In the U.S. it is possible (but illegal) to open a credit card in the name of other people and forge their signature (even for minors if they lie about the age - typically it is a close relative's name that is abused). These are obviously cards that do not allow a lot of credit line, the applications are not in person at a bank but by mail - but still. In Europe that is not possible, People have mainly cards of 3 global players and get that from the bank that does their usual transactions. The credit line of the CC certainly will be below the line for the checking account. Usually people put a lower credit line on the card just in case it is stolen. Credit cards are used for travelling outside Europe and Turkey. I think even in North Africa the European bank cards might work to withdraw money at the local banks, so no credit card needed. Credit cards became more widespread because of online shopping. Crecit card companies have a good look at the businesses that they accept for a cooperation - they are generous with consumer complaints. Fraudulent online shops have duped consumers that thought if the shop had PayPal it must be trustworthy. PayPal's consumer protections are not nearly as good, it is much more hassle to get the money back (if the package never arrived), they let the consumer fend for themselves. If you document your case to the CC company they just will book the money back, the supplier will have to sue the consumer or make a very convincing case. People in the U.S. may not be more immature than in Europe - but they are given much more room to be stupid and to pile up HIGH debt. And debt for medical bills or higher education isn't a thing outside the U.S. 75,000 debt on CREDIT CARD (and behind the back of the husband no less). How is that even possible for a regular middle class family ? A European wife would not be tempted to indulge her family (with a lifestyle that is too expensive for them, while her husband let's her handle the finances - until he lost his job). Reality would hit them much sooner (no money on the account, can't increase their debt. Their electricity is turned off, the bank card does not work when they want to pay for groceries - and at that point the people that are able to learn WILL learn), and also their peers. So even if they try to keep up with the Jones' - those Jones are also limited in how crazy they can act with consumer debt on the credit card. and the desire to keep up is restricted by the fact that they do not have enough money on the account and can't overdraw there and they certainly cannot switch over to credit card debt. there are only a few companies and they are typically issued by the bank where the person has the checking account. They would rather overdraw the account (it costs less interest AND that bank card is accepted in all shops, but credict cards are not nearly as widely used or accepted by shops as in the U.S.) Plus higher education is a) free and b) not as necessary. They have not shipped off that many manufacturing jobs so they have OTHER jobs for the young people that do not require an inflationary degree (for jobs that a smart highschool graduate could do). People that want to spend and consume beyond their income are limited by laws, the laws that restrict how much money banks can give them. That protects people from their own stupidity (reasonable people would not push the limits anyway) - and finance cannot prey on them like they do in the U.S. If parents model bad behavior for the kids - the children and teenagers still pick up the general mood to be prudent and that may help them to not repeat the mistakes of the parents. On the other hand if the young adults are spending a lot - they can only accrue so much debt and their parents and relatives likely will not condone it if they lean themselves out of the window with a car loan. As opposed to the U.S. where that is accepted as normal - at least young adults will get an earful from their parents. Prudent money habits are: controlling your impulsive desire to buy (if you are a shopper). Carefully ! considering larger expenditures. (Vacations, furniture, cars, and of course real estate. In that case the laws protect them, usually no mortgage w/o 30 % down payment. People are rarely forclosed). Young people can't get routinely a 20 - 30k car loan. so not that many have _that_ kind of vehicle, it is not necessary anyway.

Let her learn, or she would never have the appreciation of it means to labour for money.

Never lend your love ones money. GIVE IT TO THEM! It's very likely they will not pay you back. It also creates Animosity. And I hope he doesn't take her as a partner. She's already showing her bad sides. BEWARE!

This is very simple! you don't loan her money, you give her money. Imagine if you end up marrying her, for the rest of your life she remind you of this moment. If we are being honest, most get into relationship to eventually marry...3 years long time!! I think it's long enough for us men to decide if our gf is something more.

I wouldn’t date someone for 3 years who wouldn’t give me 350 dollars in a crisis gotdamn!

My problem here when I hear this is how is it she can't pay her rent the moment she loses her job, and she immediately wants him to bail her out with $350? That's not adding up to me, especially since he's already stipulated that she's bad at money management. What I like here is the differentiation between "lend" and give. You don't lend people you love money. Lending changes the dynamic of the relationship, especially in a dating situation. I personally don't like lending people alot of money, inclusive of family, unless a contract is signed and/or I see an organized and concrete plan for payback. Otherwise it's always a no, regardless of how they feel or what insult they hurl my way. Just this week I had to say no to a cosign, which is a general rule for me: I don't do cosigns ever. I would only cosign anything if I'm married because we'd both share the consequences if what we're consigning on isn't paid, which won't happen because, like Ramsey, I despise debt and refuse to spend beyond my means. Anyways, good segment here. This young man will have to learn a tough lesson here, and so must his girlfriend.

The Reason people failed to succeed is discouragement from family and friends how do you know if something is real when you're yet to give a try?

If he lends it he'll never get it back. She probably feels untitled to it. Briffaults Law.

3 years are still not married. Just end it.

IF have to call a radio shows for advice, on helping out your girlfriend with $350, because she lost job?!? I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

I lent money once and they got mad when I asked what the plan was to pay me back. I eventually was paid back but they were angry when giving it to me and our friendship was awkward after that.

Hell to the no! If you can't afford to give her the money, then you don't have it. Ask her to get a part time job and this gift will be a one-time event only.

We weren't dating but I had a guy friend PayPal me $300 just because. We've been good friends since high school and I just had a major surgery. To him, it was a gift but I would never ask for it. Even though I had surgery, it is still my job to take care of myself. Needless to say, he did it without me asking or knowing. I just got an email letting me know that someone sent me a payment. Gifts are okay when YOU make the decision to give it...but I learned that lesson years ago. NEVER lend money.

I would not recommend it...if you breakup how are you going to get your money back, Loaning money to friends or family is never a good idea.

When someone wants to borrow money from you they are already behind.

Girl, if you don't have time to structure your life so you're not in this position, you don't have time for no man

I love listening to your show Ramsey trying to get my wife on board so we can go through the baby steps... But boy this answer to me is a tough one because they've been dating for 3 years and I wonder like is she going to get evicted yeah the boyfriend needs to either give her the money Yes or be prepared to actually probably take on more if she's evicted like her moving in with him or him being single this is a tough one

Currently investing with her and she's been really great

Keep the money leave the girl.

Wow you too know her

Don’t do it I lent my girlfriend money never saw it ever again.

My percentage of getting money I have lent GF's over the years has been pretty low.

You can ‘lend’ anyone money !! Just don’t expect it to be paid back !!! The minute you ‘lend’ someone money consider it gone and when you ask for it back it will definitely destroy ANY type of relationships you have/had !!

In my early 20s I was terrible with money and my wife (then girlfriend) never lent me money but she helped me learn to be smarter with money and helped me tremendously... lending me money wouldn’t have helped it’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound

Give her the money and FPU. Going through FPU is the only condition, so once she finishes it there's no lingering feelings of if she owes you and since it's a one time thing that she's going to something she hasn't before it sets the tone that the gift was a one time thing that won't happen again so she doesn't feel dependent.

Got linked up to her from LinkedIn never knew her here she's a genius

You’re either in a relationship for 1 thing, to get married, 3 years... move in together. Grow your relationship, put the money together.

People shouldn’t be borrowing or lending money in the first place. You might make an exception if you have kids together but even then.

I bought my girlfriend a car, and she intended to pay it back. I think she gave me like 800 of the 5K. But, I knew she was the one, it wouldn't be long before we got married and I wanted to make sure she had a good car (it was 2010 and she was driving a 1995 Eagle Summit with over 200K miles). Anytime I "lend money" to someone, I know it's just money out of the pocket. I likely won't get it back, even if they said they would. You have to be OK with that if you give someone some money. I "lent" my sister in law money for a car downpayment. Never got it back. I knew I wouldn't. But I liked helping someone who needed help. I can't always do it, but when I can, I will.

MAybe she is willing to do some new things in the BR to please him. It's a win-win.

Nice video! What about FBC fund and their algorithm review?

Don’t do it. Offer to help on how a person can get out of a rut but if he/she is resilient then it’s time to reevaluate if this person should be in your life.

It’s funny to see comments the cons on the lender side and never the borrower side 😂

She is going to expect to be bailed out again and again and again. That's part of growing up is to face the consequences that you get from your bad choices. It's the only way a person learns. Let the woman learn.