Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - Letters From Esther Live 

What a great encouragent to all of us who think that with so much time passed in pain, there is little hope for good. What is ESL?

Well said 🎉🎉🎉❤

Very well said

Have you found solutions? I like the school of life.

@@heartspacerelaxations6924 Yes, therapy. The School of Life is also helpful for introspection and reflection but therapy is really needed to break the patterns.

Stop dancing!

@@reneesadhanagutierrez979 1: Therapy 2: meditation 3: contact with nature 4: good sleep/rest 5: eat healthy ( cut out super processed foods, rafined sugar) 6: cut out nicotine, caffeine ( creats alot of anxiety), have strict controll on alcohol or cut it out totaly 7: cut people who are high in narcissism out of your life ( 4-5 red flags= cut out). 8: more alone time 9: quality time with people you trust,respect 10: Let go of people, things,habits that are holding you down/back.11: do it all in a slow controlled maner, health is not a competision. 12: Educate your self on stoicism and zen, it’s gonna help you slow down the pace of your brain. And to see things more clairly « as they are».

I have found the best results in the Crystal Dating approach.If someone has an emotional need to avoid me, I'm only too happy to take the steps to help them regulate. Call me an empath lol.

I wish this every time I listen to her!!

😘 beautifully stated.

I love that ❤️ very well said.

This really spoke to me. Thank you!❤

Very very true thanks for sharing those words of wisdom

Yup.

“Love shouldn’t be hard work.” So true. There should be a difference in opinions but no fighting because neither partner should be trying to convince the other that they are right, and the other wrong. True Love is unconditional., but most don’t have the capacity to do that because we don’t live outside ourselves- we live through our egos. Love is also nurturing, understanding, and most of all, I think love is peace. I think religion and the idea that we’re to be patient in marriage keeps people in unloving, disrespectful, and abusive relationships. The idea that someone is supposed to tolerate hurt until the other makes up their mind or finally sees that their person is the one because they’ve stayed and tolerated them is like dying by a thousand cuts. Meanwhile, the faithful partner withers away, losing themselves within the relationship. I pray you are in a better place. 30 years is a whole lifetime. Sending Love and light

You Should have married an Asian man instead.

@@icephoenix3565 too small

@@goldencatpat found the white incel

Are you still together

I completely don’t trust myself to make relationship decisions

@@adriannedubins2778 Hi Adrienne, I completely understand what you mean. Do you mind if we chat.

Trust your feelings. Are you happy. Crying more than crying??

Sounds like you need therapy. That is to learn this " Skill". Also remember that doubt are normal in life. Learning to 1: live with these mixed emotions 2: learn to take responsibility for your emotions and not to blame others or the world for them. 3: see that all you realy can controll is how you " react" on these emotions. Both on a intellectual and emotional level. That is the mind creats feelings and thought on their own

@@adriannedubins2778 why don't you trust yourself ?

How do you know if the issue is Internal for them, or the reaction/action as you say that was Out of Control was induced by the constant bad behavior or disrespect by the other? How about if the person who lost control always remained poised, yet had a moment. People are human?

@@bellakim9404 You're absolutely right. Getting mad or upset on occasion might be totally justified ! It is human. I'm not talking about those occasions. I'm talking when you're with someone that has a short fuse, with many, not just you....it could be their X's, their friends, coworkers, etc. Sometimes it does take a little critical thinking to separate normal "human reactions" due to justifiable irritants, to that of often "losing control". Can there be a grey area? Of course.

@@sn7miller I appreciate that answer. Thank you.

I think EMDR Therapy can be helpful.

I have been alone for 4 plus years, realizing that I had work to do within myself. It was difficult work, but I didn't give up and over time, I realized what I will accept in my life and what I won't tolerate anymore. I have also learned along the way, to always trust my intuition and gut instincts. It never steers me wrong. I have enjoyed the time spent on myself and the things that I have literally learned. Your phenomenal. 💕🙏

@@heartspacerelaxations6924 what is 'EMDR therapy'?

Wow. Well said. So many layers.

@VioletSkyes93 thank you *so much* for your answer. I was going to end the relationship at some point, but your comment made me sure I shouldn’t wait for that “less painful point”. It’s going to hurt a lot, but this is not the relationship I want. I’m very sorry to hear your story and I understand you must be going through so much… I really hope you won’t be doing too much comparing with that woman, because it just doesn’t have any sense other than destroying your self-esteem.. Probably I can’t even imagine how much it hurts you, but you seem like such a beautiful, kind person, who absolutely deserves the best. Your ex clearly doesn’t have a very decent character if he could waste years of somebody’s life like that, which makes me think he won’t be a very good man to that other woman either. I don’t know if you’re at the stage of accepting this information, but it’s honestly great you don’t have that fake person in your life anymore. Of course you won’t get the time back, but objectively you’re not even 30 yet. At least in my country most people don’t even consider looking for a serious relationship until that age and are considered super young. For sure nobody thinks here that “youth finished at 25”😅 Sorry if something I wrote was unclear, I’m not a native English speaker. Send you a big hug. ❤️🥺

@@susie5101 Jesus Christ. 61? Good luck.

same with me, i have a better understanding now, it is called ambivalence relationship, leave when we argue, I can't take it anymore then I give one more chance, but things never get better.

And Esther brilliant for her follow up call to ask the revealing question.

Any update?

Same, I have been married for two years. And when it's good its the best relationship I have ever had, I feel so happy and complete. But when it's bad is horrible and the thing is that keeps getting worse. During our last fight, I had a massive stress rash

That's like me. 18years - good relationship but lacks a certain fire passion. But has everything else. Sigh sigh 😏

Yes me to did you stay or go

La mery

Yes ❤️

Hello Lydia ☺️

@@kellybradley4912 No. Just no.

Thank you for this comment. I feel this 100%. The cycles thing absolutely and that also plays with ambivalence for me too. X

Well explained

I feel the same :(