Signs You Might Be Asexual | Our Ace Experiences 

To those who are still questioning but couldn't relate to some or most of the signs in this video, It's important to keep in mind that asexuality is a spectrum and that there are so many different identities under the asexual umbrella, you probably just haven't found the one that best describes you. I second-guessed myself for several months before I finally accepted that aspect of my identity. My advice is to know yourself, but also acknowledge that how it manifests in you may be different from others and that all are completely valid!

I spent high school thinking that my teenage hormones that everyone was talking about would kick in aaaannnnyyy day now. They did not. Still haven't kicked in years and years later. I'm just asexual.

I'm 60 years-old and I've been asexual all my life. And I think you kids are alright.

In high school I thought my lack of attraction meant I was more mature than anyone else. Like I knew that relationships from high school don't work out so I didn't get into them, and all the kids who got into relationships just didn't know any better. Only as an adult did I realize that all those people experiences attraction, which is a powerful driving force that often pushes beyond my cold 'logic'...

I know I am asexual because I get very uncomfortable when I know someone is sexualizing me. I am into yoga so often times I have on yoga pants and a crop top or something and people will tell me that I look good or whatever and it makes me uncomfortable. A while ago I lost a lot of weight. I was discussing this with a friend and he said, “well, you are the one that wanted to look good.” I said, “yeah, for me not for someone else.” 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am definitely not asexual, but my girlfriend is so I am here to learn more about being ace.

So, here is something that is taboo. In my teen years I had a high libido. I broke down sexual encounters as 'okay, after a certain point of dating, we should do this' and I would schedule it but take care of myself. I was very sex knowledgeable and I enjoyed doing sexual acts because it gave me emotional satisfaction that they were happy. I thought that was what sex was... I don't really enjoy the actual act of penetrative sex and see it as very medical. Like an antidepressant for my partner. I don't care for an orgasm and often get annoyed if I get physically aroused. It's a chore to me. I do understand that others have sexual needs and I am willing to do those sexual things. However, I get the same response to having a good cup of tea when sexual acts are done to me. I understand that it feels good but I would much rather have tea. I'm 30 now. I still enjoy songs with sex in them and sexualized media. I can see the appeal in all of it but I see it as an art form. Sexual poetry isn't bad because of sex, it's bad because the metaphors aren't great. I wanted to post my experience as an asexual because it isn't typical. I hope it helps someone.

I realised I was ace after being asked millions of times if I’ve seen any “cute boys” and finally realising that I had absolutely no idea

“Don’t let us send you into an identity crisis” I accidentally/purposefully (it’s complicated) came out to someone (they’re cool) in my French class, and now, I’m going back into my “Am I really ace?” phase.

I wasn't born asexual. I lost sexual attraction because of sexual assault. I'm 16 male and I was assaulted last year. Before the assault, I always loved women and i was attracted to them more than anyone. I dont know why these things happened but I'm proud to be Ace ❤🏳️‍🌈

I remember ppl thought it was weird when I didn't have sexual tendencies in middle school through high-school and last year I realized I could be just ace. I love the softer side of romance not really the sexual side.

Literally screamed at 9:12 when Kaden said, "...acknowledging its existence as a concept, very far removed. Realizing it actually happens can be difficult..." I've never felt soseen in my life.

Personally, I found out I was ace when I realized I had an "out of body" feeling every time I made out with a partner. It didn't matter how intense or pleasurable it was, I'd always be hyper-aware of the fact that I'm doing "an action." No ecstasy, no mortifying worry, no blushy embarrassment, no repulsion, just... this is a thing I'm doing. I loved my partners a *lot* romantically, but sexually? I was just checked out entirely unless it got uncomfortable.

When i found out how much efort and mess sex included i litterally said out loud "I wish there was a skip button for that, it looks so tiring"

I really relate to the “sexy is just edgy pretty” thing. I’ve always felt that way. I still feel that way about the adjective “sexy.”

I think I'm definitely either asexual or gray-ace, and to me sexual activities just sound very awkward and unnecessary

I grew up very religious, and one day they had a "girls talk, guys talk" in youth (basically sex ed from church but a sleep over and it got *very* personal). At one point 12-year old me was just very confused and asked "why would anyone have sex outside of marriage? That literally makes no sense." In my mind, sex was only used for making babies, you would only want a baby if you were stable, stability came from being married/ having someone who would provide while you were pregnant/on leave- so you would only logically have sex if you were married. I got a lot of weird looks and the "someday you'll understand" speech.... I am in my 20s, I still don't understand

I realized I'm ace like five years ago, I just clicked in this video bc I knew it would be nice to watch! It feels so good when I can relate to another person in this subject, thanks for that! here are some experiences I have being ace: 1. Being a more feminine-gendered person, I feel very comfortable consuming male homosexual content. This started when I was 13. Many thought I watched it because I was just a horny teen (like if I was watching it in the same way people watch porn), but looking back, mlm content was my way of connecting with sex and typical romantic love without being directly involved in it. In fact, mlm stories are still comfort for me, as neither the stories nor the characters nor the sexual situations reflect me as a person, which allows me to fully enjoy it without being uncomfortable. 2. I am very interested in sex as a concept. I'm going to give a strange example, but imagine a fictional story about a murderer. You can say "wow, what an interesting way to approach the subject; this scene is aesthetically pleasing; this character's desires are very well addressed; it's conceptually intriguing, dark, mysterious..." But you wouldn't murder a person irl. U get my point, right? Seeing it correctly captured in fiction pleases me a lot, I even find it fascinating, but I would never actually do it in real life. 3. This one is hard to explain, but I find it a bit unfortunate that sensuality is so closely related to sex. Sometimes I wish I could hold a person's face, or hug them, or caress them, or kiss them; in the same way that I appreciate a beautiful animal, a beautiful flower, a work of art or even my own body, which I can touch without compromise. My point is: it's sad that I can't sensorially express my love for another person without those acts being considered as part of a sexual ritual. I have a lot of physical love to offer, I just don't tolerate the idea that such displays of affection are tied to sex. these are the ones that came to my mind rn. have a good dayy :p (sorry if my eng is not good).

To me, sexual touch is just a way to express affection to a partner. It feels nice physically to a certain degree, but I really don't get what people are talking about when they go like "oh I haven't had sex in 3 months I need to get laid" like.... what? Why? Do you really crave touch that badly? Is that craving a universal experience?

I was confused about my sexuality for a long time because I enjoy feeling and looking "sexy", and sex in theory didn't seem that bad (in hindsight thinking it didn't seem "that bad" should've been a sign), but any time I was put in a sexual situation with guys I've dated I would get super uncomfortable. I also went through a phase of "I don't want to have sex with guys, so am I a lesbian?" which corresponded with with my confusion about the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction. It took me asking myself, "if a fortune teller told you that you will never have sex with anyone, how would you feel?" and my reaction being indifference and even relief to really feel comfortable with identifying as ace.

As someone solidly into adulthood let me attest that having a larger bed becomes a necessity for many people and it has nothing to do with another bed partner. As your body ages and becomes more prone to aches and pains and stiffness, being able to stretch out, roll or change position becomes really important to feeling good and not in pain. I find it entirely possible your parents, despite being allosexual, were just looking out for your future self. :) ps. bunk beds really are everything though. Queen sized bunk beds need to become a thing.

i’ve known i was ace since i was in elementary school. i just didnt know the word for it i still had crushes on people, but not in the way everyone else described it. mine felt more like wanting to be with someone at all times rather than thinking someone’s attractive and drooling over them anyway i relate so much to all of these stories hah! its nice to have an open space to be myself like this channel especially when people like my mom think that my asexuality is invalid because im only in eighth grade (if i felt sexual attraction i’m sure i would’ve had some sort of internal sexual awakening by now??)

A lot of these signs apply to me and I’ve been questioning whether I’m asexual for a couple of years. I am on the younger side so I’m not 100% sure about it. How does sexual attraction even work? Do people look at someone and just know they want to have sex? Seems arbitrary to me. I don’t know if I’m too young to have experienced sexual attraction or if I’m ace. I’m a freshman in high school. I’d love an answer if anyone is able to give one. :)

It's so cool to see this many people having the same experiences as me!! My whole life I thought a crush was enjoying a person's company in general?? To fit in I PICKED any popular boy (comp het yay) in a room to "crush on". Then I started thinking I was bisexual since I felt the same way (neutral) towards men and women. When someone finally explained sexual attraction to me as a daily experience I was so confused

Hello Spacey Aces! I'm an allosexual mama who is on a continuous quest for knowledge. (One of my adult kids is confirmed demisexual.) Anyway, I'm a new subscriber because y'all are a great resource. Also, y'all are valid and awesome! ❤️🙏🏳️‍🌈

Ive been questioning if I'm asexual for years, and the few times I've mentioned it to friends, I get dismissed. These same friends have teased me for years for not seeking out sex with people/not being sexually attracted to people. I super relate to forgetting sex exists. And the accidentally making sexual sounding jokes and everyone laughing. I appreciate this video a lot. Thank you all

I always knew I was “wired different” every since I was young. I didn’t learn about asexuality until I was in therapy at 38 and my counselor suggested I look up asexuality. It was as if a huge weight was lifted! It was so freeing to know there’s nothing “wrong” with me.

asexuality was the first label I identified with (but I don't anymore). at the time it was really important to me to feel like at least I had someone to relate to. eventually I got diagnosed with autism and realised maybe my experience is just... different from the norm because of that so I just stopped labelling myself at all. I'm very happy in my relationship, I enjoy sexual experiences, and I feel good about being the way I am (at least in that regard). I'm happy to see you create such a nice space for people who are lost like I was, and also people who are confident in their asexuality! keep up the good work

Cake for evrybody! Overcome your crisis and be what you are. 👇🍰

I'm not asexual and unfortunately don't know anyone who is, but I'm here to learn so I can have a better understanding for all future encounters with ace peoples

Feeling like sex was a chore is something I relate to so much. Most of my experiences I've been kinda drunk. After college I just stopped having sex. I think part of it was peer pressure to be sexual.

I really relate to the whole ”sex exists catching you off guard” that’s how I realized I am Aromantic. Every time someone asks me if I have a partner yet it makes me realize that it’s something others expect of me. I have no want or need of a partner, I love seeing others in happy couples but don’t understand why I should want one myself, I’d much rather just have a couple of close friends

Having a lager bed can be nice. There's so much space to lay around on, and room for more blankets, pillows, cats and so on.

While I am asexual, I have a high libido. I often view it as a chore that gets in the way or a simple distraction, like an itch. sometimes I scratch at it and sometimes I just ignore it and hope it stops bothering me. And sometimes I override it with cake. But I have never felt attraction toward people. I honestly always thought people would exaggerate when they get excited over things like how someone looks. Like, in an old movie or tv show, you see someone walk in dress nicely, and people in the crowd wolf whistle or go “ooohh”. I never thought people were actually attracted to that, more that they were playing it up or something.

I have struggled with wondering about my sexuality because I am bisexual but I think also demisexual, so I do expedience sexual feelings but very very rarely. I only really feel sexual towards people I’ve been romantically or emotionally attracted to (I understand aesthetic attraction in theory but a purely aesthetic attraction does not necessarily mean I’ll be sexually attracted) and when I am in love with my partner, I enjoy sex. So for the longest time I didn’t think I was on the asexual spectrum, but now I do think I actually am because I could relate to a lot of what was mentioned in this (sex and/or masturbation feeling more like a chore, for example) and I have never felt the desire to sleep with a stranger (no shade to those who do, it’s just not my thing). I feel seen and understood by this video. Thank you for making this video. 💗💗💗

great vid! i was wonder if this could be a sign too. i’m still in school. my friends talk about how they would like to do sexual things with their crushes/ partners. it makes me uncomfortable to think of a crush of mine in that way. when i do have a crush (which is rare tbh) i literally can’t imagine doing anything sexual with them. all i want to do is hold their hand, or have meaningful a conversation.

something similar to the bed thing Elle said happened to me too! i also (on multiple occasions at different ages) physically wrote out lists of people who i could potentially be attracted to, who i was friends with, or someone who was aesthetically attractive and picked one as my crush, which should have been a super obvious sign lmao

Hi! I already knew I’m ace but I loved hearing all of your stories about your experiences! I don’t know too many aces irl so it’s nice to find people who have had similar experiences as me. Also, I love how you’re creating a great ace space on the internet :). Have a great day / night!

In high school I had no idea asexuality existed. I always assumed that I would want to have sex once I got married, and even then it just didn't sound appealing. But once I learned about it (I researched it because one of my friends came out on the spectrum and I wanted to understand them better) I realized that maybe I was asexual.

This video did help me completely understand that I’m asexual. When I turned 20 I realized that I never went through that sexual attraction or tendencies (???) in high school. Never had a relationship, never wanted a relationship, never wanted to be physical with anyone sexually. To To this day, I’ve never been attracted to someone like that, it was just a small crush being “oh their cute.” That only happened twice in middle school and once in elementary. When Elle said that if you feel weird about being in a relationship and having a sexually partner, your probably asexual. That hit me really hard it was true. Possibly considering I might be aro? Idk since I do love romance and want that special someone. Anyways, thanking for sharing your experiences and helping me with my own!

I'm kind of a late bloomer, I only realized I was ace at 25 and until that point, I struggled a lot with my self-image and trying to fit in a mold that I inherently felt was bad for me. It's just so good to see the generation that comes after us has better resources like your videos and probably realize their identity much sooner, possibly not getting into a lot of uncomfortable situations I did in the years I thought I was simply straight. Anyway, looking back now in the possession of more wisdom, there were a lot of signs I could have noticed. - I have always found sex in the media kind of icky. I was more than okay about looking at blood and gore on the screen in medical dramas or horror movies, but had to look away every time a couple was doing something even minimally sexual (like, even passionate kissing was doing it for me). - I was masturbating regularly, but my triggers weren't even remotely sexual. They weren't even about other people. - Being an only child and therefore spending a lot of my time with adults, I considered myself more emotionally mature than my peers in most areas. I also matured early physically, starting my period at 11. Considering these it was really odd to hear from everyone that I was unable to lock down even a date in high school beacuse I was 'not ready' for a relationship. - I was really into religion for a while and I was A-okay with the thought of waiting for sex until marriage. Honestly, the biggest doubt I was having about the concept is if I will actually want to have sex with my partner in marriage. - It took well into my university years when I had friends who were more open about their sex lives to realize people are actually attracted to others that way (I kind of assumed it's just a thing that people say but they don't actually mean it) and most people my age actually do want to have sex with other people. Until that point I was completely blindsided to these concepts. - When I tried dating straight guys later, it always ended after a couple months, mostly by me breaking up with them (one time it was mutual), because I was simply mortified by them kissing me. I had mini panick attacks and regularly felt disconnecting from my body during the whole thing. It happened every time with multiple guys and did not improve with time.

I'm 31 and currently in the frantic Internet research rabbit hole. Literally ALL of these I can relate to! Thank you for this video. It was really helpful!

This is beyond helpful. There were things you said that I didn’t even realize were Ace related that I did growing up

I found this video really validating and comforting and related to many of the things you all said. Kaden in particular said a lot of stuff that resonated very deeply with me, like the part about just straight up forgetting that sex is an actual thing that real people engage in and being caught off guard whenever you're reminded, as well as being oblivious to innuendos. It's something that people are often amused by, and is sometimes used to infantalize me, in an "aw you're so cute and innocent and childlike because you don't understand sex" sort of way, and it really annoys me. My dad thinks it's absolutely hilarious to ask me if I'm going to go through puberty anytime soon even though I'm 21, supposedly because my actual puberty did not result in any sort of desire to have sex, making it... incomplete or invalid somehow?? It's frustrating to hear things like that, especially coming from the people you love most, so I appreciate videos like this a lot, as they remind me that my lack of sexual attraction does not make me incomplete and that sex is not a necessary part of a happy and fulfilling adult life.

something this got me thinking about, ive been describing my attraction to people as being the same as elementry school crushes. like im obsessive from a distance and i love any attention they give me and i just wanna spend time with them, if they hold my hand or kiss me i might get butterflies but thats it. no further thoughts or desires, im satisfied with that

One time in class I talked about how Romeo and Juliet is a bad story and if they stopped sucking face for five minutes and processed things properly maybe they'd have made it out alive and someone literally looked at me and said "who hurt you?" I knew very well that I was aroace before watching this video, but I love ace content and seeing other people look at their retrospective obvious signs is interesting.

I knew i was asexual and aromantic because i was very interested in fictional romance and stuff but when it comes to reality, i get awkward and stuff. The fact that i also find it hard to tag along with others trying to fit in with their romance conversations. I also tried fitting in and taggeed along and flirted for to a few but later on, i found out i never really developed the feelings but in the end im choosing to accept it

Totally missed being ace because I'm sex favorable very high libido and autistic with special interests in kink sex and bdsm. So for majority of partner interactions I'm indistinguishable from pan. I honestly thought most people were just shallow and lacking impulse control compared to me, based on my observations. Discovering autistic and aspec identities at 46 is very revelatory in a positive sense. Just weird I never knew but both autistic and aspec are buried under so much misiformation so it makes sense to miss it I suppose.

I’m asexual and panromantic, and looking back there so many signs I’ve always been ace but just didn’t know it really cause i didn’t know what ace was. It was confusing for a while because I’ve wanted a romantic relationship so when I first learned about Ace I didn’t know the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction so I brushed it aside for a while. Then I figured out the difference between a sexual and romantic relationship and I was like wait, people actually want sex? Yeah no, not for me.

This definately brought back some teenage memories I did not need. Your video is so relatable I'm feeling awkward about past me

this feels like such a safe space thank you

My first sign was when heavy purity culture felt easy. Almost too easy. I didn’t recognize it as such at the time since chastity and abstinence were what we were supposed to be doing but I never had any of the alleged temptations that youth pastors and youth mentors in the church warned us would come.

I feel like there were 2 moments of aro ace awakening in my life the first one was when I realized that the crush I thought I had in middle school wasn't in fact a crush. I thought this one guy from my class was pretty cool personality wise and I just wanted to chat and maybe hang out but it was hard for me to approach him because despite being classmates we barely knew each other and I had anxiety. I thought that you are supposed to feel nervous around your crush so I thought "oh, that's what's going on" despite the fact that literally no romantic let alone sexual feelings were actually involved. The second one was when my mom asked me if I'm a lesbian. I thought no, I'm not interested in women but if you want to think that I'm one I won't stop you, at least you won't expect me to bring a boy home one day because that sure as hell ain't happening......ah, I see, so that's what's going on here

I'm not asexual but was just curious what the experience is like and just want to say, you all are so lovely and welcoming. I always feel so reassured and happy discovering spaces like this where people reassure others that all sorts of ranges of experience are valid.

Ohhh the mention of tracking sex like a chore! I've done this in all my relationships, saying (to myself and others) it was purely for health reasons. But looking back and being honest it was really to make sure I was "having it enough", like my "goal" was once a week, and I thought that if I achieved that I would enjoy it more and be a good girlfriend. But doing that actually made me resent the activity and whole sex business altogether. Like it felt comparable to flossing or doing the dishes, I don't want to do it but I know I should do it. I highly doubt allo people feel like this 🙈

Just wanted to comment that this is a great and beautiful video! I have known I was ace since high school, as the constant slap-to-the-face that others around me were being sexual was a big hint. I wanted to watch this video to see how other aces found out or even what they notice. Got to say, I definitely felt and still feel over 50% of your guy's experiences. Thank you so much for making this, I'm super glad to have found you guys and am your next subscriber.

idk if i am but i love the vibe here

I already know I'm ace and I loved listening to your stories and experiences, especially since right now I don't know any other ace person irl. It felt great to see other people similar to me. And maybe kinda off topic but you're all really pretty in my opinion :) Have a great week!

This was SUPER fun and very related to the very first RU-vid video idea I was thinking I might put on my own new RU-vid channel here. Thanks for the fun and relatable stories throughout this! I love how at the start you made it clear no one can tell you if you're asexual or not. ;) I really like the energy you bring to this channel, all of you. This is maybe my favorite current ace RU-vid channel. You feel like people who could definitely be my friends :) Also btw when you said that Not very many "aloes" click on a video like this -- FYI that looks autogenerated even if it's not lol... You may want to fix that at the very end ;)

Even *I* felt awkward during the awkward introductions in the awkward intro, and I don’t even know you guys, lol! Thank you for this video, though. It was very informative and helpful! :)

Thanks for the video ! It gives me hope to see people talking about it and you guys seem such nice people :) and Carol is amazing

I've known I was a part of the ace spectrum for about 3(?) years now and tbh I'm still not sure exactly where I lie on the spectrum but I'm just vibing here. My 'realisation' moment was actually when I found out a guy in my grade had a crush on me, and my brain went into full panic mode not only because I didn't reciprocate the feelings, but also because I knew that in relationships sex is something that happens and supposedly is a main and important part of it. (despite it literally just being a high school crush and it never going to go that deep lmao) I knew I never wanted to experience it and I'd never been in a situation where anyone had a crush on me so I was like 'Why do I feel so uncomfortable about the thought of potentially and/or eventually having to have sex with someone if I get into a relationship with them?' and so I was like whoa hey- is there something wrong with me?? Considering how over-sexualized (in my opinion) society is and how popular and common it is I definitely thought I was broken or something because I couldn't understand the appeal or the want when it came to sex. I would get uncomfortable and even sometimes visibly cringe when conversations and topics relating to sex came up around me because I just didn't like the idea of it nor did I really want to hear about it. I knew that I myself never wanted to do it or have anything to do with it for as long as I live so I never felt the need to acknowledge it properly. Then I finally realised there was a label for how I was feeling, that I wasn't some crazy, broken person and most importantly that I wasn't the only one :') Anyway sorry for going on a tangent ahaha

"Why would I want a bigger bed" is one of the sentences that made me realize maybe I was ace so I find it funny to hear it from someone else

9:51 thank you so much I really related to this and felt understood which is an awesome feeling:) I personally first heard of asexuality and the spectrum when I started watching a content creator to whi i quickly found a big liking. So i researched asexuality and quickly realised that I was somehow ace and then I just started watching VERY many videos and that was how I found your channel. Its been quite a journey Thank you for this video it was explained amazingly

I'm just here to say Kaden's hair is beautiful! I also loved the video :D

I remember learning about all the different STDs you can get from having sex (even if you use protection or you're very careful or if you're both clean). But the thought I had when leaning about it is: "Well, why would you have sex in the first place?" or "What's the point of having sex if there was a high risk of getting STD or pregnancy or anything else?"

First off I just wanted to say, great video. As a semi-questioning ace teen this was super helpful. But I also wanted to say that the the resemblance between me and kaden (not sure of they spelling) is insane. It’s like looking into an asexuality affirming mirror. My face is a bit more angular but aside from that the resemblance is uncanny. Same hair color, same hair length, same general body type, it’s like we could be doppelgängers

I can definitely relate to so many of these I was like “are you living my life or something?” it literally sent chills over my body. especially the one where she talks about songs being all about sexual stuff. when I was little I would always sings songs about that stuff because at the time I didn’t know what all of that meant, but now that I know I don’t really like it. I try to force myself to like it because people around me also do and don’t get me wrong the music sound great but it would be better if that sexual stuff wasn’t involved in it you know? this video helped me a lot thank you for this!

Loved hearing about your experiences! I think this channel is a great idea :) I'll share one of my own! I only realized I was ace myself recently-- one of my signs I should have seen a lot earlier was that I could look at a picture or another person and recognize they were what other people would consider hot or sexy but not FEEL it, if that makes any sense. I'm pretty sex-neutral in general so I don't feel a repulsion towards other people being sexual. It's just not really for me :)

Am I ace? Or is that feeling due to my being neurodivergent, insecure and an introvert with basically no dating experience? Now that's a conundrum.

A large majority of sexual innuendo makes no sense to me. It never occurred to me that this was an ace thing until I saw this video. I also avoid sexual songs too. It just feels wrong to me and makes me feel repulsed. Thank you so much for the clarity… 🙏🏽🙏🏽phewwww I feel I can breathe again because so much of this information makes sense. Thank you so much🙏🏽🙏🏽🌈🌈🌈💫✨

I'm so glad videos/resources like this exist now. We had nothing like this even in 2007 when I was a teen telling people I was "asexual" without realizing that was actually true. I just wanted folks to stop asking me about who I "liked".

I was shocked in college once when a friend complained her bad mood was a result of not having had sex in "sooo long;" that it had been a few weeks. Everyone in the room made agreeable noises and I just sat there like... PEOPLE ARE HAVING SEX? It was so outside the realm of anything that would have come to my mind at that moment, even if you had challenged me to list possibilities I never would have brushed up against a sexual explanation.

Thank you so much to all of you for being so candid. There needs to be more conversation about asexuality. I'm in my 50s and I can relate to all of this. The most annoying thing for me about sex when I was dating after divorce was these people just patronizing me and telling me oh you just haven't met the right person yet and in dates it was like you need someone like ME! So degrading. smh. I can remember back in gradeschool the time of boy crazy girls and girl crazy guys and none of it interested me. I just wanted to play video games. I never dreamed of my perfect wedding, hell I never even wanted to get married but somehow I did because it was just "expected". Dating has been frustrating because people just wanna jump in bed so I bought a black ring. In doing this I hope it attracts someone like me to me.

This really helped me because I thought I was bi at first because I thought I had a crush on some people but it turned out I just enjoyed them as a person and after watching this it made me realize I’m actually acesexual

I always found it so extremely unrealistic and annoying when characters in media would have sex in impractical situations. It always made me think that the characterization was just really bad, because why would anyone ever have sex if they were late for an important meeting?? turns out sex makes people feel some kind of way?

So many of these hit home for me. For years, I thought it was because of the Asperger's. Things make a little more sense now.

It’s really interesting to see others journeys and how they realized they were ace. As i’m someone who had a very different experience but i’m still ace. I really like how broad the a-spec is, one of the people in this video (sorry dont know the names very well) don’t like songs having romance and me someone who’s also aro can still enjoy romance, i like cutesy romantic things where people are sweet to each other and get nervous around each other, i find that type of romance really heartwarming, but that doesn’t mean i’m less of an aro because of it. It’s pretty funny how there are so many ways to not experience things.

Their hair is so pretty I wish I put as much effort on my hair as them

Omg sexy does mean edgy pretty, this is the best definition of the word I've found and I love it 😂❤❤❤ This is really helpful content so thanks for making this video!

I am definetely NOT asexual but watching this was very interesting! I am interested in this topic in general and it is definetely not acknowledged enough… I see these sings in a few of my friends and they do confuse me sometimes but it makes me kinda mad that most people don’t even try to understand and tolerate it and people keep calling these friends “childish“ or just say that puberty will hit them eventually and they will understand it all soon and that always sets me off.. Watching this also made me understand them better :)

You guys feel like family. I feel safe and at home here.Thank you for your wonderful ace content❤❤❤… your squishies are adorable too🌈😊💖💫✨🧜🏽‍♀️🧚🏾‍♂️

HAHAHAAHAHAAAAH YOUR BRAINS ARE MINE NOW *rubs hands maliciously*

yo i’m i’ve never really considered me being aspec seriously before tonight but oh my god you know that moment when you go OH! THAT MAKES SENSE! IT MAKES SENSE NOW! *screaming* i’m not sure exactly what identity exactly i fit into but i think im definitely under the asexual umbrella and while i’m getting a mix of emotions it’s just so freeing! i’m not broken :D idk why i didn’t consider it before!!

When I clciked on this i was really just curious about asexuals, i barely expected to actually think now that i may be ace- thanks for opening up that possibility for me :)

I have been very confused about my identity, as I had an IRL partner and fictional characters that I was sexually (and romantically) attracted to, but the rest of the time, I hadn't really cared. In fact, some of my old classmates had tried to force me to get a date as well (which I didn't like very much). I had labeled myself as aroflux/aceflux because my attractions are all over the place, in intensity, situation, and person I was attracted to. This video did make me feel a little more sure of myself, though. Thank you for this! :]

Thanks for the help!! I’m trying to help my sister find out if she’s ace, and I found this very helpful! Much love 💖💖💖

Awww, you are all really helping so many people. I'm 31, so a lot older than you & when I was a teenager, I'm not sure I knew what being asexual was. I related to this video so much though! To so many things. The thing that gets me now is any time you have to fill in a form and they ask your sexuality. Well, I have never had sex. I tried a few dates, but it was so weird (although I did once have the love feeling for someone who kinda took advantage of me... but even so, when they (only talked) about sex, I found it utterly repulsive!!!) And yeah... the forms - it's when they ask my sexuality, something rises up in me like - I've literally never been in a relationship, so I can't put heterosexual? I think I do have romantic feelings to some degree. There was one real person I truly liked romantically (but not sexually) in my entire life and occasionally I get the feeling watching TV or reading a book (never for a real person/actor, only ever for a character.) I wouldn't say I can't do sexual innuendo though. I used to make loads of mistakes as a teenager. Like the first festival I ever went to, at a stall selling sperm earrings, I asked my friend "Why are they selling so many tadpole earrings? I don't understand?!" but now I think I am quite quick-witted with innuendo-based jokes. But real sex, eurgh. And actually, the older I get and the more me I become, the less appealing the idea of a real relationship is. I can't truly understand why it matters. Since I am older than you lovely lot, I have a different experience of teenagerdom in some ways though. I didn't understand relationships, but it lead to huge paranoia for me in my teens. Would a teacher think I thought they were attractive?! I was terrified they might. I obviously didn't!! But the thought that maybe they would think I thought/felt that was ARGH to me. Other than that, I have never thought about sex much. I have sometimes imagined love, but sex...? I mean, I can't see the appeal. Even kissing. Eurgh! (I do like hugs.) I am not against having children in theory and in a different reality to 2022-the-world-is-on-fire circumstances, though I also don't desire them, but I can't think of any reason anyone would want to have sex beyond that they wanted a kid...?? At the same time I don't feel I can call myself asexual, because I have never tried to have sex so I don't know what that would feel like. At the minor (not full sex) level it felt awkward to me, but that's maybe because it was an awkward situation. Because I also felt like maybe it could be opening up something in me.. so am I just repressed????? Say I was in love with someone - I've never been in that scenario. I can't imagine how you'd get to that scenario. But I'm not saying I'd absolutely never want anyone to love me. And would I have sex with someone who loved me? How would that feel? How could I know? How could I know if it might not be repulsive? How could I know it might not be great? I don't masturbate, bu how could I know I would hate it? Although when a Doctor shows disbelief that you've never had sex or masturbated I'm like... but why don't you believe me? I mean, why would I???? I don't get it. I don't know whether my uncertainty whether I am asexual (or what kid of asexual I am) is based upon my millennial generation or based on the fact that maybe I'm not asexual? How can I know if I have never tried a proper relationship with anyone? The times folk have tried, I have generally laughed or tried to escape asap!!! Anyway, I have subscribed to the channel to hear more! :)

around a year ago I found out (or I thought) i was asexual, but later on I kind of backed out on it, cause I felt that part of it was true, but not all of it. Something wasn't right. And now hearing you talk about gray ace (which I didn't knew existed), it all clicked. So thank you so much!

I remember being in relationships and thinking "I have to have sex with this person, I haven't done that in more than a week. If I dont do it, they'll become sad". When Lau talked about the "habit tracker", it reminded me of this. I guess I was always demisexual, and forced myself into sex because I thought it was a shortcut to romantic intimacy, but by doing this i hindered my relationship... Thank you so much for your insights. I guess I wasn't wrong in thinking I'm under the ace umbrella. Edit: I ALSO IDENTIFIED AS PANSEXUAL OMG HAHAH I don't think I've ever seen a video about sexuality that I could relate this much!

you guys helped me soo much :) thank you for making this type of content!!

very off topic but i like your minecraft music disk in the background :D also keep up the good work!

You have no idea how happy I am I discovered your page. I identify as panromantic demisexual and I have never Met people that are asexual and for a while it made me feel lonely. Like no one quite understood the way I felt so it makes me feel happier and less alone now I've seen people with similar things to me :)

You guys are so kind and gorgeous! Oh my, thank you for the video

Great video and definitely helpful to those still figuring things out. I laughed so much when you talked about people reacting to things we say and laughing like "wink wink nudge nudge' as I am utterly confused as to why it is funny or sexual. It happens constantly. Reminded me of the time I bought socks that go above the knee. I thought they were really practical for cold weather as an extra layer. I showed them to someone and the group giggled. Apparently that reminds them of lingerie??? I had no idea. I was just thinking smart way to stay warm in the winter. Apparently I am very asexual because I related to 99% of this info.

My thing with sex is that I can think about it happening to anyone, but me. Honestly I’m starting to wonder if I’m gray sexual, or if it’s a dysphoria thing, because I’m uncomfortable with my body specifically.

I've known i was on the ace spectrum since i was introduced to the idea, when i was 15/16 years old- and i've met a few aces since then! Though so many people still misunderstand us, and it makes my blood boil when they do, I hope that the world is becoming more accepting and understanding of us :) xx

I really relate to Kaden with forgetting sex is a thing and being caught off-guard 😅 I have to conciously remind myself its that thing that other people do.

u guys all seem really nice and cool :) i loved the video and will watch more even tho I'm almost definitely allo lol. also the music in the introoooo. perfect.

I’m allosexual, but I did click on the vid bc I wanted to learn more about asexuality/ the asexual experience :) Ty for creating this space, vids like this seriously are so important to so many ppl