SO CLOSE TO DEATH - ANOREXIA NEARLY KILLED ME | UPDATE... 

"I am 21 years old. I am an adult, i can have ice cream for breakfast if i want to." This sentence made me realize so many things my ed was holding back from me. you're SO strong and inspirational!! You deserve the world, honey!♡ xxx

I cannot believe this is the same girl as the Elzani now.. this is insane. She is awesome.

Yeah, my hospital roommate gained 10kg and she looked almost exactly the same as before, it was weight from her muscles and organs getting back to their normal shape and weigh, it's quite scary to think that she had lost all of her actual muscles and organs.. her heart, brain, bones, etc everything was small.. She is much better now. The first kilos and literally the step between life and death

I'm an adult, i can have ice cream for breakfast if i want to! This is phrase is what keep me going somedays

I honestly scrambled to remember your user name ages ago so thankful you've uploaded so I can rewatch your first vid and now this - so helpful and raw

I can not believe the difference between your first video YOU and this YOU. Thank you for making videos! I’m binge watching all of them, I can’t get enough of the hope that emits from you. If you can I can.

I'm subscribing to your channel. I am bulimic, 27 years old and relapsed recently. Your channel has been helping me restart the recovery process. Thank you!

God bless you. You’re tough. I tried so many times to fix myself on my own, but inevitably I kept falling back into my old ways. It wasn’t until I continually prayed for wisdom and asked God for help that I was able to make a full recovery and beat this terrible demon holding power over me. Many times he’s answered me through scripture and otherwise. We will always need God’s strength to overcome temptation. I encourage bringing him with you wherever you go and continually praying for wisdom. Christ told us to do this and God will answer. We can’t do it on our own and many times our struggles are God’s way of trying to bring us closer to him and he will guide us to a far better path than we ever could have imagined when we stop leaning on our own ways and understanding and put our trust in him. You are a kind soul with a heart of gold. The Holy Spirit is in you. Whatever wrong you’ve done, whatever mistakes you’ve made…Christ already paid the price. Know You are worthy. He wants better for you and a blissful life for you. Just reach out and God will answer. Trust.

I'm sooo thrilled to see you uploaded! I've thought of you & how POWERFUL your words were in your first video & hoped we'd see you again! I'd LOVE to be able to watch whatever you feel comfortable sharing & be here to support & uplift you on your journey to recovery bc you WILL get there!❤

Wow, what a strong woman! Keep going, so pleased you have love and support around you to encourage to overcome. Praying that you continue to claim your freedom and every day gets that little bit easier. Thank you for sharing. You are beautiful, worthy and able to journey through this xx

A lot of people are happy to see your upload!! Please push yourself!! Every day :) further than you think you can or need to or should!!! Keeping you in my thoughts and sending you and your family love!

I'm soooooo freaking happy and proud of you. It's great to see and hear from you. I'm so glad you were able to get the help you needed. I was actually in the exact same position you were...it's nuts....I appreciate how you were open about your experience in inpatient. You are incredible, inspiring and your Soo lovely, keep it up.😎👍👍👍🖤🔮🖤🍏🖤😸

So glad to hear an update! You have such insightful things to say and it's lovely to see you smiling when you recount a difficult year. Keep fighting

So happy to see you back!! I'm glad to hear that you're recovering so well, even if you are struggling a little bit. You can do this Elzani, you have so much strength and fight within you, I can feel it! We believe in you ❤ Cant wait to see you completely healthy again (:

Finally!I have been waiting for this.Glad I found your instagram account to see updates and not worry as much as I did before.

I saw your first video back in December but forgot your username. I have been searching your channel for months for an update! I wanted to know how you are doing and I'm so happy to hear you are still fighting. Give it your all! That's mentally harder but it also will be over sooner.

I'm glad to hear from you but you really need outpatient or if your area has it then day patient support. I'm really shocked that they let you be discharged with no outpatient support :(

Good to see you back! You are brave!

Sweetie, this stuff you talk about is exactly why outpatient is helpful and often the best option.

Keep fighting, you WILL succeed!!!

Glad you're okay. You can do this

I'm recovering an eating disorder and I still have those restrictions in my head even though I'm eating better than I did before. I'm glad your doing well now. Recovery is tough

Praying for your full recovery

Omg I have been thinking about you a lot since your last video...what an amazing surprise it was to see you had uploaded :)

Just found your channel. Wanted to watch you from the start. I hope your doing well. You seem so much better and happier! You’ll get through this!

Anorexia is sometimes about control. I can't control life around me so I will control my food intake. Elzani you will always be slim. It's fine. However starving yourself isn't going to help . Watch the Karen Carpenter story. My daughter and I live with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. There's no cure. However daily we strive to live victoriously. ❤❤❤❤ You can too. I watched your inpatient story. Brought back many memories of my daughter and my struggles with food. Much love Sue from South Africa

Could you do a video on how you fell into your disorder and show us pictures of what you used to look like before you were ill? Another idea of a video would be on what your are afraid of by eating? Have you had a bad experience in recovery before?

So proud of you elzani ⭐️💖💕😊❤️

Hi, just wanted to let you know that you are doing Great! You are a very strong women. I really want to See you happy. Greets from Germany! :)

Do u have to get weigh in still like once a week? I just wanna make sure ur safe and sound.

thank you for sharing your story/way. you are helping me with my recovery alot. Thank you so much

i love your shirt so much! taylor swift is great

I m glad u r alright :)

I love you’re shirt !!

Well done

I feel so lost and lonely, I am starting to give up... i exercise and don't eat as if i wanted to kill myself,but I do not....i feel so lost

You are normal!

U still look really really skinny. I cant wait to see what u look like when your face fills out a bit. Please keep up the progress. When u stop constantly thinking about food you will slowly start thinking of other healthy things.. like boys and school and a career and relationships and hobbies.

❤️❤️

💗💗💗💗💗

I just want all of your vlogs to be subtitled in Indonesian even though I can speak a little English it seems nice to watch mine with subtitles right😄 please 😥

😘

what was your lowest weight❤

You have no idea how worried i was when i couldn't find an update video 😢 you look like you have so much more energy in this video you're doing great

I fear you'd passed tbh :( glad you're still here

You’re back! Thank god! Thank you so much for coming back to tell us what’s going on. You worried a lot of people. You come off as so sweet. You gave us your lovely personality, and left us hanging scared. So happy to see you trying. To see you at all. Would love to see you stick around YT, but take care of you first. I think all of us here are just elated to know you’re still around and fighting.

The pure raw emotion when she started to talk about her family broke my heart. You can see how much it upsets her. I'm so happy you're doing a bit better in 2019. I know it's an everyday struggle but your got this. 🖤

I was literally thinking about you earlier today and praying that the lack of uploading was a sign that you were getting help instead of something more morbid. You're so incredibly brave, I'm so inspired by your will, stay strong love x

Breaks my heart but my Occupational therapist said what is normal? We are normal we just are battling an illness. If someone had diabetes or heart condition you wouldn’t tell them to be normal. They are normal just battling health. But define “normal” there’s no such thing, everyone has battles, everyone had weird ways and everyone is different. I do think this is amazing and your trying to fight! But I do believe you need help to then learn why this happened, how to prevent it. What is underneath it for it to come. Help mentally is one of the bravest things you can do, accepting help! Outpatient care means you can do it at home, eat like you do with family support and your strength but you get therapy too so it helps your mind as something would of made you ill or a number of things like ageing, life, control, worry and anxieties, adulting ...something... xxx

Good to see you are back.Have been concerned about you. Keep on going , you have the strength to go upwards and onwards xx

She’s doing so good...just found this video and comparing her here to how she is now and omg...🥺 So proud of you girl💞

you're such an inspiration.

Welcome back! I’m so happy that you are doing okay! Hang in there and keep fighting, you’ve got this! ❤️

You’re such a brave soul, you’ve gone trough so much yet you still have this fire and genuinely want to fight this and get better, I applaud you. Just because of this alone I KNOW you will make it. No matter how hard it gets just remember that you need to continue. Because of your family, because you deserve freedom and because you deserve happiness. We’re all here with you on this tough journey, stay strong and keep fighting! :)

So proud of you, Love 💗 so so so unbelievably proud. I would love to stay updated. I hope you keep uploading babe ♥️ keep chasing after your goals. I have so much faith in you. We as females should want to be strong 💪 muscle weight is an amazing thing. It’s beneficial. It’s nothing to fear. We look as lean as we want but just with muscle tone. It’s good to look healthy and lean and fit, love. You are so much stronger than your ED. All my love, faith , and hope to you. Keep conquering. 💪🙏🤞

This is so inspirational. ❤️

Is there therapy available to you?? Surprising they offer medical care but not mental care

Fudge yah!!! You will definitely get over this. I know i dont know you but I admire your strength and I can see Elzani shining out.

Oh.my.god. I Just want you to know that I support you so much. You're so strong to even share this with the world.♥️♥️ I love you already💕💭 You can do it beautiful♥️

Thank you for updating. I'm going through and watching all of your videos since you're back. You seem so sweet and you deserve to get better. Good luck babe, you got this. ❤

I'm so happy you're back. I was worried when I couldn't find an update video. Please get better, I believe in you ❤

U r so amazing.keep going lovely

Your message is great.

You are very inspirational! What you said about changing the life that you don’t like into something you like really clicked with me.❤️ Cuz that’s how I developed anorexia by being angry with life in general. We all wish you the best life.

*big hugs* love you hun. im glad youre ok. your hair is absolutely beautiful!

You keep going, girl xx

I was so sad and glad when i watched this video.You are amazing❤❤

You are so inspirational... thankyou 🙏

In the US , they forced me to do outpatient after my involuntary inpatient hospitalization in early 2015 & still am doing it.. Since I moved to a different state with my husband last year, they don’t require as much outpatient. Only once a week for 3 weeks, then then the fourth week I go twice. They are also less likely to throw me in inpatient, bc they will give you a chance before they just drag you there. I have found the new freedom, and having less outpatient treatment, has actually lowered my stress, and my anxiety and panic disorder have gotten a little bit better, as well. I am very fortunate to be living in my dream house, but also feel like I am taking things for granted and wasting my life, by letting me Anorexia control me!

do it for you will get better ❤ you deserve it you deserve it so much!!!!!!

i have watched your more recent posts, this in this vid now , this the most real i have seen you. honest not pretending

Im binge watching all ur videos rn! btw love the shirt ✨reputation✨

Glad your doing well

❤️ hugs

OMG I related so much to this thankyou so so much❤️

Well it's alright to say that you have to try your best with your eating disorder as I've given up now as it's 34 years since I was diagnosed as I'm 49 years old now

I didn't know you started posting again!! So glad you are here.

So happy you look better!! I hope you continue on this path!!!

Hi Elzani Your very brave! And your lucky you have the support of a loving family. Without it, you could end up like this well into your 40! I know cus this has happened to me. Ive lived with anorexia since age of 15! Im now 44

finally i can see the real elzani , now your beautifull .. keep it real girl