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Just pretend every time they say 'starfleet' they mean 'space force', and every time they say 'Romulan' they mean 'chromulan', and every time they say 'borg' they mean 'korg'. Yeah, I'll have a pint of 'korg', please. Under these conditions it gets at least a 5/10 from me. Which is always better than Emerdale (-20000).
Rich yelling "Captain Picard isn't here, Mike!" has the same feeling of desperation as someone yelling at a widow that her husband died in that car wreck 10 years ago.
Fun fact, rich Evans isnt a human. He's actually an angel sent to earth with the mission of helping Mike move on from Star Trek. As you can see he's having a hard time.
@@frogsgottalent1106 I've seen the videos where he talks about feminism. I had to face facts and realise that the actor behind one of my favourite characters in my favourite tv shows, is a clueless old man.
"Picard is going to be an in-depth, slower-paced character study on Picard where we completely ignore all of Picard’s character traits so we can have a scene where a ninja beheads a former Romulan senator who now is a helpless, scuzzy bandit in a no-humans bar." The best description of the series.
I think the Rich Evans here is NOTHING like the Rich Evans from the original show. I get that the writers wanted a darker more gritty Rich Evans but it just doesn't suit the character. It doesn't help matters that they rendered him in cheap CG.
Everyone is so nostalgic for supposedly "classic" Rich Evans, but this is a Rich Evans for a new generation! We couldn't just keep the old Rich Evans to appeal to middle aged manbabies, we need a Rich Evans more in tune with modern sensibilities.
This Rich Evans swears randomly takes drugs and gouges peoples eyes out, it's what reflects the current political climate and therefore transcends the original philosophy of Rich Evans.
The best Star Trek show right now is the Orville but you already knew that... Oh, wait! I see what you did there... With STAR TREK in the title. Well played, well played!
If it comes to that it will be far more comapssionate like "of mice and men" where rich compassionately says "tell me about the romulans, george" while mike stares off into the distance, just b4 rich mercifully puts a bullet in the back of his head.
Which is rubbish because her reaction wasn't that of a psychopath (who probably wouldn't have felt any emotion at all for the violent death of their adopted child), it was violent and came from a place of revenge (a very human trait) but not that of a psychopath.
@@capuchinseven True, true. But for decades, STAR TREK had a very enlightened message about violence and revenge - it was depicted in a way more sophisticated way and not like KILL BILL in space.
There is no happiness and joy in Alex Kurtzman's heart. It's physically impossible for him to conceptualize an equal society because he's a fucking asshole.
Even if I agree, it ain't the first time we see those, in DS9 S4E24 there is a hilarous scene where Quark put some annoying pop up ads for his bar in DS9's main systems x)
@@redfog29 You're right, but the difference is the tone of the show surrounding it. In DS9 it was treated as a disgusting aberration that should be remedied. In Picard, it was treated as an ordinary experience that only the sheltered characters were unfamiliar with. Both are played for laughs, but in DS9 the joke was how much of a greedy scoundrel Quark is for doing it. In Picard the joke is on the characters who are too innocent to be able to handle the invasion of privacy and personal space. Finally, in DS9, it was explicitly something done by a hack into a secure system by a sometimes-criminal. In Picard, there was no indication that this was in any way a bypass of La Sirena's security but is instead unblockable and required no initiation by the recipient. That alone is a terrifying vision of the future. Sadly, I doubt the writer(s) involved in this scene considered _any_ of this, and instead were wholly convinced it was an absolutely hilarious joke that will keep non-sci-fi fans engaged by being "relatable".
"You don't understand our ingenuity, our self sufficiency" two seconds later "why didn't you do a better job helping us?" That's great writing right there.
"I expected Seven of Nine to work at the Daystrom Institute, you know using her intellect." *Laughter* " Oh Rich" "She is a vigilante warrior now, in space"
I expected Rich to plead for people to donate to their Kickstarter, so they can afford the operation that will expunge all of the Star Trek knowledge from Mike's brain. "He said it would be such a relief."
Rich: *exasperated* “we are the only people who care!” The people: we care. We all care just as much as you. Please don’t stop these reviews. It makes me feel sane to see these godawful episodes ripped apart. Ichep actor drama was interesting too.
I choked on my toast a little when he said "Ok so lets move on to the next episode..."; I love these reviews but it's baking my noodle that we would miss all this if they hadn't made that God-awful Picard series (thankfully I ignored some stupid friends advice to watch it)...
@@fiddledotgoth Good call. I wish I could unwatch the first 3 episodes. Well, 3.5 episodes. I fast-forwarded through most of the last half of the 4th and couldn't bring myself to watch the 5th.
"Will anybody talk to me about Star Trek: Picard?" Here we observe the wild Mike in his natural habitat, letting loose his mating call while sitting alone in the dark.
It felt like Mike was interrogating Rich the entire time while Rich was trying his best to convey to Mike the truth, which is of course that there are four lights.
Well since neither of them can remember even the simplest of names and places, they definitely both have it. Mike can't even remember anything although he has made NOTES.
these star trek reviews are like reverse BOTW. in botw mike just dunks on rich the whole episode. but in review its like rich exasperatedly trying to keep his senile grandpa from choking to death on applesauce while rambling about fragging his commanding officer in vietnam
"Why did Picard start a fight?" You guys aren't stupid enough to figure it out: they're trying to deconstruct TNG's moral opposition to injustices by showing the stupidest version of it failing in their grimdark reimagining.
Ding ding ding. And "why is it the Federation's responsibility to save the Romulans?" the answer is because the Federation has the most power, therefore they are the only ones who can do anything because everyone is a pawn unless they are all-powerful. (And therefore nothing is your fault or your responsibility. Except if you're PICARD, THE BIG BAD STRAIGHT WHITE FEDERATION MAN WITH A VINEYARD.)
Yup. This is the JJ-verse. Dumb, blunt and obvious. Roddenberry's original idea was for a utopian universe, where problems like poverty, racism and sexism no longer existed and conflict only came from other races. While this was a good idea in general, he also didn't want conflict between the main characters, which leads to very boring characters that have no flaws or problems to overcome. Writers complained about the "Roddenberry Box" all through season 1 of TNG. At the other extreme, we have the JJ-verse, where conflict comes from EVERYWHERE, including problems that shouldn't exist in a utopian universe, like poverty, racism and sexism. They turned Star Trek into dumb, violent action schlock.
@@KneelB4Bacon Thats part of what makes DS9 so good. They really tried hard to honor Roddenberry's vision while not being restricted to it and ultimately ended up putting said utopia to the test by focussing on the federation being in conflict with other races that totally are not following said paradigms. Including all the "real world issues" and moral dilemmas such an interaction would cause. New Trek: Something went boom and thats why people are savages now.
If you like star trek then Picard is sodding awful. I watch it because I haven’t quite given up on the star trek franchise but get no enjoyment out of it. But these reviews are far more entertaining
STD was definitely the dumpster fire. Picard is the burnt-out wreckage from that fire raining down on the head of a confused and borderline-senile Patrick Stewart while he dramatically reads excerpts from "50 Shades of Grey".
You can hear him laughing in the end when Rich is leaving, so they still forced him to sit behind the camera listening to them talking about Star Trek and will continue to do so with their future re:Views. :)
Q is gonna be so disappointed after finding that Picard and the Federation backslid into narcissistic meta shit that's being tacked on by 21st century producers.
Mike's inconsolable grief reminds me of those nature documentaries where the elephant mom can't believe her calf is dead, and keeps nudging it hoping it'll spring back to life.
@@pisscvre69 It never even occurred to me that it was STD. Now STD is with me forever, like it or not. Even long after STD is gone, the damage it did is irreparable.
No he isnt, the picard here, is a soy drinking feminist ally who let's every female in his life talk down to him and order him about and just takes it because he doesn't want to be a toxic male unlike the determined,capable and strong willed captain he used to be that wanted people to adhere to rank
I'm looking forward to the three-hour video detailing the season finale, most of which will be endless trashing of Alex Kurtsman because it reminds Mike of that one episode of _Star Trek: The Next Generation_
Jay is never going to edit one of these. Think of poor Jay having to research to pull up examples of Trek violence, whereas Mike simply has every trek moment memorized.
They captured the spirit of Next Gen perfectly. I always loved when Picard would fly off the handle Or when they would throw diplomacy out the window and start chopping off heads.
@@2OldGeeksTalking all forms of franchise entertainment are now empty vessels into which freshman Hollywood can pour it's virtue signaling identity politics. Even Sesame Street.
@@2OldGeeksTalking I am pretty sure these writers never watched a single episode of TNG. Just like the writers of the latest Star Wars trilogy apparently never watched Star Wars.
@@Plur307 the maybe even bigger problem: They might have watched it but then ignorantly decide to throw almost everyting out the window although they should know that they will piss off millions of fans.
I'm a filthy bitch who owns A Serbian Film and Martyrs on BluRay and the Criterion DVD of Salo, 120 Days of Sodom. So I can firmly be honest by saying... that fucking shit doesn't belong in Star Trek. They directly go into WHY that scene doesn't belong, explicitly afterwards. I think a couple of you missed that lol
The best eye ripping out scene I've ever seen was in the Channel 4 series Utopia. It's an effectively done scene with tension, buildup, payoff etc. and it works because it fits with the theme of the show, and demonstrates the ruthlessness of the main antagonists of the series, who will rip out someone's eye and then [attempt to] kill them to establish that they don't have the information they're looking for. Graphically ripping out Icheb's eye and then killing him doesn't work the way the same thing did in Utopia because it feels so out of place. It's a graphic detail that makes no sense in a series that also makes no sense, done for no reason at all.
Who was that “Romulans Only” sign for? Wasn’t it at a Romulan Refugee colony with only Romulans? Someone in the writers room probably got some high-fives for that and no one thought it through
Picard is one of the stupidest shows I've ever seen. It's also downright hateful of Star Trek, its fans, everyone who worked on the franchise prior to 2009, common sense and decency. Discovery is the same way.
I'm not as a big a fan of Star Trek as most but this was seriously depressing to watch. It's tragic. Mike is like he's at the bedside of someone he loves that has severe brain damage. They aren't them anymore, they aren't there, they are a ghost that looks like someone you knew and you're torn about whether you can bear to pull the plug or not. The only difference is you don't have Alex Kurtzman and company trying to convince you it's a "good" thing.
Kurtzman would be demanding you acknowledge that his running them over in his van, crushing their spine and leaving them in a permanent, vegetative state is an improvement. Then he'd hang around the ward late at night playing Buck from Kill Bill.
To be fair regarding Picard and children....... After "The Inner Light" Picard did soften towards children quite a bit due to living through a life as a father and grandfather.
I agree I don't think him liking children is a problem. My problem is that I find it very jarring that out of no where and with no explanation he just loves this random kid with no real explanation that he does, then in the same scene he leaves the child for atleast 14 years. I just didn't really get the point of the scene. Why not just have him be normal Picard, what is the need for 1 random scene of him without a kid
I don't really have much love for Picard as a show but I can't believe anyone has any trouble understanding it. It is a pretty easy show to follow even if it isn't terribly well made.
He's trying to figure out why the two are connected... best I can think? The writers are trying to say that Mars was building ships to help with the relocation. But when it goes tits up, they no longer have the ships to spare. Mike is saying this is fucking retarded. He can't fathom the leap in logic here. You wouldn't build ships specifically for this, you'd just reassign existing ships. And since its a temporary assignment, you really wouldn't bother creating more ships to replace the ones temporarily helping Romulans. So why the hell would these two events be connected? Unless the writers are stupid, and assume we are too.
"Hey remember Icheb?" Yeah that naive, yet plucky, kid who looks up to seven like a sister. What's he up to? "We wrote him getting harvested for parts. ENJOY YOUR NEW *STAR* *TREK* SHOW"
It was pretty horrific and would never have flown if it weren't a subscription service, but to be fair that is what people seem to enjoy these days. To understand why they did it, just look at the popularity of Game of Thrones and such. People seem to get off on it. As far as in universe, they had to convey how truly horrible this was. If it was as glossed over as torture in TNG or others of it's era, no one would even blink. They would just say, oh that kid from voyager died. Wait why is Seven crazy now?
These reviews don't need context. I skipped this, Discovery, every DC movie after Man Of Steel, everything Star Wars after The Force Awakens, (and more!) and I still love those RLM videos.
I remember when Star Trek had a hopeful view of the future, inspiring kids and providing a bit of escapism when the real world was so depressing and sad. Thanks Alex Kurtsman & Co for robbing my kids of that so you could chop off heads & shit. I personally can't wait for their next show... Star Trek annihilation or some shit, where kurtsman just films a puddle of cold jizz for 10 hours.
I want to hear them say, "I'd rather watch an entire Star Trek movie built around them saving a whale," then realize the writers used to be so good, they actually did that and it was damn fun.
The beat scene of graphic violence I think Star Trek ever did revolved around Nog losing his leg. It’s bitter, tumultuous and tragic, but slowly he regains his station and confidence and recovers. It was handled in a very Star Trek manner. A realistic look at how someone even in a distant fantastical future like Star Trek may suffer and be slowed down by such an event, but ultimately can come back from it.
It's only a paper moon is excelent and hard to watch at the same time. The late Aron Eisenberg sold that so well at the end, it's heartbreaking and makes an already great character even more memorable...
If you had told me during season 3 of DS9 that by season 7 a hologram of a 1950s Vegas lounge singer was going to become a major character I wouldn't have believed you. I would also be certain that if it *did* happened I'd absolutely hate it. Somehow it happened and it worked really well, especially in episodes like "It's Only a Paper Moon".
@@BiggieTrismegistus That's the overall magic behind DS9's writing and the execution, they took all the parts that should be bad on paper, a stationary place, the Cardassians and the Ferengi as one of the main species instead of "cool" ones like Klingons, Borg and Romulans and so on, even the focus on war as a huge junk of the series isn't something I would want to watch, in Star Trek even less so, but they executed everything so well, it's like they set themself this as a challenge and succeded.
It's great getting older. Watching all the things you grew up with die. Aliens, Predator, Terminator, Star Wars, Star Trek, comic books... It's fantastic.
The "Romulans Only" sign reminds me of those hand-written "No Boys Allowed" signs pre-teen girls put on their bedroom doors in sitcoms. Also it was nice for the Romulans to write that sign in Earth English so that a visiting Andorian or Betazoid would also know to stay out... or does the 25th century Universal Translator project translated images into the mind like a TARDIS?
@@sorryifoldcomment8596 To be fair, I have caught things like that on quality Star Trek, but finding a bad thing in quality Star Trek is like finding a good thing in kurtzman trek.
I know this comment is old but bringing up the TARDIS only reminded me of how Doctor Who's Series 11 and 12 has fallen itself in some ways similar to Discovery and Picard as well. It'd be interesting if RLM would ever visit that franchise to watch but that would take a long time to cover given there's the classics and NuWho.
@@puipui2949 Hey man, I just made the comment because I thought the quotes were hilarious (I greatly dislike Alex Kurtzman's style of storytelling). I can't really help if people give my comments likes.
@@puipui2949 Did that feel good ? I bet you looked real smug after you pressed enter on this high-IQ observation. It's called 'The Comment section', not 'The discussion Forum'.
Well Klutzman ripped off most of the plot from Mass Effect probably thinking they were mostly the same thing having never seen an episode of real Star Trek in his life
Please, no, don't bring Wil Wheaton into this. Although, seeing how political he is, I wouldn't be surprised to see a scene of him berating Picard for "not doing enough" to help the Romu-fugees. Did he beg on Twitter for a part on this show?
"I totally expected her to be working at the Daystrom institute, you know using her intellect." "Oh Rich, hahahaha, let me tell you about a man named Alex Kurtzman" 😂😂😂😂
"When I first heard Seven of Nine was going to be on the show, I totally expected her to be working at the Daystrom Institute. You know; using her intellect." Oh, Rich. You completely forgot what show you were watching.
Well whose to say she wasn't at some point, but a lot of officers obviously disagreed with Starfleet's behavior. We've already seen seven characters who left Starfleet so far and I think Riker and Troi will have had similar reasons for leaving. It sounds like the rangers she was with are a cool organization and I would actually love to see that as a show.
That would have been a pretty cool use of her character. But yes, not possible in this show. Incidentally, lacking the forearm strength to keep two prop rifles steady while single-handing them in a slow-motion shot looks REALLY stupid.
When it cut back to Mike I thought he had taken out a chart or graph or something.. like there's enough to talk about to require visual aid but it's still all so dull.
This show is a salad of "Things We Liked From the Late 1990s/Early 2000s." "Girls loved Legolas when LotR came out!! We want the female audience! Put Legolas in the show! And let's make him someone dreamy who's been trained from birth to talk about his feelings! But he's gonna be troubled, so he's someone the female viewers can 'fix.' And remember that show "Firefly" that had the mysterious young girl who was secretly a badass super-intelligent ninja? Well throw one of them in, too. Nah. Make it two of those. Don't want to write for 2? Well, kill one off. And I liked Zoe on that show, too. Get Gina Torres on the phone. No? Well get me her non-union equivalent. Oh yeah, and we need a badass wisecracking captain. While we're at it, remind people about 9/11 and Syria and refugees and the Patriot Act, and how we treat lower classes."
It's sad how much sense this makes. It's pandering to 90s and early 2000s kids, but only to the edgiest of wannabe emo's, punk rockers, hipsters, and goth kids.
TNG is one of my favourite television shows of all time. My girlfriend asked me recently why I don't watch STP. You answered that question more eloquently than I could
"Get Gina Torres on the phone. No? Well get me her non-union equivalent." That is so harsh, but so accurate. Oh, we can have her point out that Picard is a part of the white patriarchy because his family owns a wine vineyard.
My favorite part of all these re:Views on Star Trek: Picard have these horrorable predictions for what would happen and yet, their predictions are all better than what actually happens.
After watching RLM for a while.,my first impressions have certainly changed. Rich is the everyman, Jay is the cynical one, and Mike is definitely hopeful and optimistic beneath that facade of contrarianism. I see your joy peeking through Mike! 😂
"It seems like an unrelated incident." If I may, I think the show writers are following the philosophy of "If you are one kind of bigot, you are all the bigots, obviously. Bigotry is equal opportunity."
I like how Mike had more accurate predictions about Datas daughter's emotional turmoil creating the Borg 2-3 years before the show started in "Red Letter Media Talks About Alien: Covenant - SPOILERS". The show is actively destroying his mind as it destroys Trek.
It's a shame Rich has lost all patience for star trek nitpicking, since that is the highest intellectual pursuit for all of us old star trek fans. Rich, if you're reading this: get your act together, nitpicking microscopic details in sci fi is what we're here for, and the only reason why we're not hanging ourselves in disgust at the collapse of all we hold dear! Damn it, man :D
@@ScratchNSniffff For what it's worth, these RLM videos are just as good even if you haven't seen the actual show. I'm laughing my ass off while they explain this nonsense, without the pain of experiencing the ruination of Star Trek and Jean-Luc Picard. (A.K.A. "The Kurtsmanning")
@@CruelestChris Please...Bajorans...bajorans are nothing. Federation should have just stayed out of this. Cardassians did galaxy a favour by controlling Bajor. Group of religious fanatics with tech at level 0 who just constantly whine for federation to help them while at the same time saying that they want independence and federation should stay out of their bussines.
It really does show where their heads are. Jean-Luc (the character) is French. So the show writers have him dress up in costume and do an accent...as a Frenchman with a horrible French accent. Job done guys!
Also, I believe it’s Star Trek canon that France was taken over by Britain in WW3 (hence why Picard and his family have English accents), so French has been a dead language/accent for generations.
That's actually Patrick Stewards best attempt at a French accent, he did the same thing when auditioning for TNG and they made him keep the British accent because the French one was so damn bad.
"Is Picard still going to become Locutus? Is [Soji] going to become Locutus? Is Locutus going to become Q? Is Q going to become Data's cat? Is Riker going to become Troi?" Hilarious moment. XD
30 years from present: "Poor Mr. Stoklasa's dementia has been bad lately. We are going to have to up his meds, he is getting very agitated talking about that Pickard person and President Culkin."
This had me laughing so hard until the Voyager bright-eyed Icheb recap cutting abruptly to him screaming getting his eye gouged out and murdered. I am back to being so sad now that my favorite franchise is dead.
@@joshuacalkins 2 bad spinoffs- fantastic beasts, and the cursed child- and the author decided a few years ago that the audience needed to know certain key facts about the Universe of her story; such as how those technophobic wizards dealt with plumbing before they came around to the idea of toilets, and also which characters were secretly gay the whole time and how much they were fuckin'.
