I really liked how you referred to both the Big Book and 12 + 12, made it sing for me!! One thing I didn’t resonate with, if someone does to says something harmful and I am upset, that doesn’t mean I set the ball rolling. Sometimes people are abusive period. I am responsible for how I respond to that, but I have to be very mindful to not take it onto myself. Growing up in an alcoholic, abusive environment I felt at fault for everything. Someone hurt me and it was because I was wrong, I deserved it, etc. So an aspect of my recovery is changing how I view that and Al-anon has helped me tremendously!!!!
You got it, Katie! We are not at all always responsible for setting the ball rolling. But we are responsible for how we respond, including holding on to harmful emotions like anger, resentment and/or self-pity that causes more harm to ourselves than others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and thank you for watching!
Recently, I've been experimenting with different ways of doing my 10th step (what used to work for me hasn't been doing it lately) and this video gave me some great ideas to try .
I Enjoyed working on this Step, this past weekend with my sponsor. Your video just rounded out what we went over and just made it even more clear. I do like the 4 questions and will work them into my daily inventory. Thank you Dr. Foster. :)
Hi Natalia - Glad that you enjoyed it. Recovery is difficult. It's something to be very proud of. I hope you have a great day. Thanks for watching and commenting.
Hi KJ, I know you must be a busy person but if you have a moment can you elaborate on question two? I’m trying to understand the intent or purpose of this question. Thanks so much! - Your explanations of the steps are so helpful. Peter
Hi Peter - Yes, I would be happy to elaborate. I haven't watched this video in a while and was surprised that I didn't at least give an example. Sorry about that. So, in case someone else is reading this, I will reiterate the particular question you are referring to which is a part of the 4 questions that were suggested to me as a part of my 10th Step practice. The question you are referring to is "What did I enjoy today that had nothing to do with me." This would be things like... a flower, a song on the radio, an award that a colleague received or the success of anyone that is not directly connected to me. One time I answered this question and sent it to my sponsor and said "I enjoyed my son''s performance in a play" and my sponsor replied that I had to choose something else because my son is an extension of me and my own ego. This is about focusing on others and things we appreciate that are outside ourselves and not connected to self and our own egos. I hope that helps. Thanks for watching and I hope you have a beautiful and blessed day.
This just repeats what the step suggests it does not tell me how to do it. I would like to hear an example of how she for gave someone who harmed her in a deep profound significant way
Hi Joanne, it was through doing all the Steps that I was able to achieve forgiveness. I was able to forgive a deep and profound betrayal that was part of what sent me spiraling out of control and turning to alcohol to cope. I was told to pray for the person, every night and asking God to give them everything I would want for myself. I know, a big task. I actually said to my sponsor "are you f...ing kidding me? I can't do that! I wouldn't mean it." She said, "you don't have to mean it, you just have to be willing to do it." So, since I was desperate to stay sober and get better, I did it. I started out by saying "God, you know I don't really mean this, but" and then I was eventually able to take that part out. It's recommended that you do it every day for two weeks, but it took me way longer than that. I think it was several months, but I was finally released from that anger and hate in my heart. I hope that you too are able to heal. Thank you for watching 💜
It helps me to remember that they are also a sick person and that it’s not my place to take their inventory. Focus on what I can control, which is sometimes only leaving a situation or person completely.
I like this video. I was in so much resentment and still have some and it was really messing with me in a bad way. I've prayed and prayed about it. What is a sacred text? (It's on the spiritual worksheet)
There are, in fact, many doctors in AA. They even have their own AA groups. During the time when I was going to school and earning my PhD, there was a woman in one of the women's groups I used to attend who used to find it necessary to make this statement over and over again. I used to take offense to it until I finally realized it was her ego that was the problem.
