Friendly reminder: if you question your gender and realize you’re cis, you are valid!!! I know sometimes the memes make it feel like just questioning equals being trans, but your identity journey is valid as long as you are comfortable with yourself throughout the process 😁
This is so true. Throughout secondary and high school, I'd keep thinking to myself, "Am I a masculine girl or a feminine boy?" 'cause my logic for not having sexual or romantic attraction turned to gender confusion due to not knowing that asexuality is a thing.
I've questioned mine multiple times and still end up confirming I'm cis! Just gender non-conforming. Nothing wrong with questioning and finding out you're cis and/or het 👍
After questioning my gender for awhile, I had the random thought, "I'd still be a woman without tits." Of all the things that could have made me realize that I'm cis!
As a kid I remember writing "wouldn't it be cool if just for a day we all switched sexes" and my cis-woman friend was like "what?? No" and I was royally confused
I was always the kid who wished I could shapeshift because “It’d be cool to be a boy, or even something in between or neither!” and yet nobody suspected that I may not be cis.
I always joked with my ex on how it would be funny if in the future I ended up coming back as a guy and going through the transition surgery. Well needless to say 8 years later I came out as transgender. Guess that kinda bite me in the ass.
The “all clothes are gender neutral” thing is a huge bugbear of mine. It took me SO LONG to realise I was non-binary because every description and meme and photo and video of enbies I ever saw were “androgynous” (read: traditionally masculine; pants, flat chest, short hair). I enjoy exclusively wearing skirts/dresses, tops that show off my cleavage a little, long fancy hairdos, makeup… all the “feminine” things I’m supposedly supposed to shun. But guess what- still enby.
Happened to me but from the other end. It took me ages to realise that i could be genderqueer/non-binary (I feel stronger affinity towards genderqueer. Mostly because 'non-binary' as a label wasn't really around when I first started to have/recognise these sorts of gender feelings. Trans* was, and Genderqueer was. Cue me going into denial because I didn't want to do anything medical to change things and fearing/not understanding what Queer meant) because I wanted to be androgynous but didn't think I could ever pull the stereotypical look off. Took me until recently to just take the label/s and run with it so to speak, that I could be androgynous by my own standards. Which may look completely feminine to others, but that's not what I am.
In reverse, I'm a cis woman but I have trouble with presenting too femme, lol. I have to be in a very specific (and rare) mood to want to wear dresses, and I've only recently come to terms with wanting earrings, after seeing lots of male k-pop artists wear them without looking feminine. Never had a problem with being a girl though (the "zero amount" is literally true haha), it's just my external presentation that differs, so it makes total sense that your combination would exist too!
Oh man yes, the mental gymnastics I've had to do lately to accept that there's nothing wrong with the afab me to like wearing traditionally feminine things (that I've always liked!) although I'm some flavor of nonbinary! I'm also interested in exploring the men's clothing options to mix and match, although my main gripe with most men's sections is, where... where are the colors xD But I've really had to figure out for myself that "nonbinary" isn't like a third gender that should look as neutral as possible, but it can be anything at all I'm feeling comfortable with. It's both kind of freeing and scary :D I guess the thing is, I want to wear all nice "feminine" things, I just want my body not to look like a woman in them? :'D Flat chest and maybe a bit of a beard would be nice I guess xD
@@elieli2893 so relatable. Yeah, I want to wear a dress, but when I go out in public I want it to be clear I'm a man wearing a dress (I'm nonbinary but often default to "man")
the fact that some binary people have a stereotype for what nonbinary people look like is interesting. on one hand it means society is finally learning about the existence of nonbinary people, but on the other hand it means were gonna be generalized in ways we might not even think of. im dmab but identify as agender, and being in nonbinary spaces did feel weird at first because im male presenting and seeing all the other dmab people with long hair, lots of makeup, no beards and wearing dresses had me feeling like i didnt belong at first. but we can have beards and still be nonbinary!
My Trans In Denial moment from high school. I said to my classmates: "Isn't it a shame that we are constricted to one physical body and that we never get to experience life as the other sex? It would be so cool if we could change our biological sex according to how we felt at the moment." And everyone just looked at me with confusion. My friends were like: "What? Why would we want that?" I had assumed that everyone felt that way.
When I was in high school I wrote a book report on a sci fi. Called A Matter for Men and A Day for Damnation. Interesting thing in these two were that in this particular book we had the ability to swap consciousness from one body to another regardless of gender. A man could borrow a women’s body as rent and the women could borrow a mans. They had to take really good care of it as it was a temporary swap and the owner would not be happy if you wrecked it. All this while experiencing an existential crisis as Earth was invaded by giant pink fuzzy worms looking to make mankind a stable food supply. Being Trans feels like you been off loaded very young into the wrong body. The book explores that feeling of dis Union with our package being incongruent with our sense of self.
that was actually a big "aha!" moment for me, when i was 'mistaken' for a guy once. (long before i came out) it made me happy, and i couldnt place it at the time! my dad who was with me was furious though (both at me and at the poor lady 'mistaking' me :') man do i wish i could tell her she was right)
I'm cis, but I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 25, and ive often felt like I'm not a "real" woman. It honestly took me watching trans creators to realize that my inability to have kids doesn't make me less of a woman, so thanks Jamie(& Samantha Lux) you both have really helped me. 💖💖💖
@@yueren3646 yeah, I've honestly only ever had one person make fun of me for it, and it was another woman, but she's also a very angry person, so I probably shouldn't have taken it so personally. Although I wish I could have children, I gotta say I don't miss having periods🤣 It's pretty weird how obsessed some people are with what other people have in their pants, or what organs they have. I totally agree with you
I’ve seen a lot of men get told they’re “less of a man” for having vasectomies. It’s so weird how people sort of dehumanize you for not wanting to(or not being able to) procreate.
I wanna add this to any discussion for that last point about HRT: I took T for about 2 years and then stopped. _I'm still trans._ It's just that I had gotten everything from it I could. My voice had finished dropping, I was always thoroughly flat-chested, I'm native american so I never grew a sweet beard or anything like that and it didn't have the same kind of "masculinizing" effect on my features like it did for my white trans friends, and my period started back up despite the T so it wasn't doing anything for that anymore either. The only thing it was still doing was giving me wicked acne. No real point in taking it at this point. A lot of people think stopping HRT and detransitioning are the same thing, and someone might put themself in a dangerous situation because of it, so I'm just here to say they're not. Transition doesn't have to be linear. You do what's right for you.
I'm glad I found this comment, it's relatable in some ways. I've gone back to the "starter" low dose my doctor had me on in the beginning of my transition because I, too, have gotten everything I wanted out of T, I'm just staying on a low dose as "maintenance" I guess. T isn't going to change the other things and that's why I decided to drop my dose back down.
Was it the right choice for you? Are you able to manage your dysphoria? Is the medical care you're receiving safe for your body? This ally is happy to count you out of the girls' club unless you want back in... and to commiserate all things gynecological because periods suck no matter who has them.
@@tinkeramma To be fair, dysphoria is *not* a requirement for being trans. I know firsthand how difficult it is to wrap one's head around that; I'd held that belief, as well, back in the day. The gender introspection story is a little bit different for everyone. Some people don't outright hate their body the way it started off as, but simply feel **more** comfortable when considering themselves as a different gender, and/or when different pronouns are used. So often, it is easy to overlook that the end goal is that of comfort, that of aligning one's self to what is truest for that individual. A presumed, but not always accurate, premise that gets drawn is that if there is comfort in one, that there must be pain, agony, or hatred in another. But, that's not actually true for all situations, and there are two ways that I like to oversimplify it: think of it like buying a mattress, or new clothes. You might eventually find a brand that feels amazing, or a mattress that gives you a great night sleep -- but that doesn't have to mean that your older clothes, or previous mattress, suddenly stopped giving you some amount of comfort. All it means is that you've decided to shop around, and found something that's even better. Edit: to oversimplify it even further using outdated gendered stereotypes. One doesn't have to outright hate firetrucks, long pants, or going camping in order to like dolls, dresses, or spa days. Some do, for sure, but it's not a requirement.
that clicked for me just a couple years ago. im just sitting and vibing when it hits me that that's not something everyone wishes for and i was just like "wait a minute-"
Gender-neutral yes, body-type neutral no... which also overlaps a bit with gender inclusivity as well, with e.g. "standard" sizes for "men's" clothes being just SO much larger than "women's" clothes
Started telling my primary school friends about a dream I had and offhandedly added “oh and my dream self is just me but a boy, what do your boy versions look like in your dreams?”…turns out I was the only one and 99.9% of the time their dream identities all aligned with their female selves… Welp, no wonder I always wanted to sleep and stay in my dreams forever before I came out
I definitely remember having occasional dreams where I was a boy as a kid. As well as dreams where I was a girl kissing a girl. But I was raised Catholic, so there was no way that was anything other than weird dreams... 🤔
My egg moments were: always picking the option to play as a woman in every game because being indirectly referred to as a girl was just so nice, only listening to wlw romance songs because "I didn't vibe with any others", and always preferring a gender neutral variant of my (dead)name because the other one sounded off.
This is literally me. I’m just now realizing my own egg moments cuz of this lol. Im like this with male characters. Always telling myself it’s cuz the women’s armor is ugly and the men’s is way cooler… lol
Omg I have this exact same thing but with male characters (I'm ftm). With online games I ALWAYS pick the male option. And one time there was a game that didn't have any characters, but just profiles; mine was often mistaken for a guy's profile (and I was addressed as such), and I LOVED it so much.
Insisting people call you the short version of your deadname squad. I've only had one transgender friend who never did this, and it's because there wasn't a way to shorten their deadname lmao. Two of my friends even continue to use shortened versions of their deadnames now that they're out.
@@Jeshcaprints Heresy. Men's armor is always so macho and overdone; women's armor is sleek and elegant ;P Also, totally relate to all of this. Fifteen years of being entirely unable to bring myself to choose a male-presenting avatar or to write a masc D&D character and it still never clicked 🤦🏻♀️
the term "egg" is used to describe a trans person who hasn't realized they're trans yet. this is mostly used by trans people to refer to their past selves and experiences, and you should never call someone else who hasn't come out as trans an egg just because you think they show signs of being trans.
Unless they're a crossdressing twitch streamer apparently. FYI the person in that one week into COVID meme is Finn and he's cis and given he's living with a trans woman I doubt he'd be in denial about that.
Eggs are people who are questioning their gender or showing signs of it. Not all eggs hatch into trans, some are gender nonconforming, gender fluid, or even cis and that's ok.
This deserves to become the top comment. To my understanding, it's ok to insinuate that a person is LGBT+ _if they are being homo-/transphobic and you are calling them out to make them stop hurting people_ or _if they are literally asking you if you think they are trans/non-binary/gay/bi/etc._ (which is, I think, very rare, why should you know better than them?), but it is *not ok* in any other circumstance.
8:20 Jamie: cis women would not take testosterone. They wouldn’t even consider it Me: I would, honestly would be awesome to have a lower voice and less of a feminine shape, I don’t like my hips and thighs and I like working out to have more muscular arms Me: … Me: wait a minute
There's absolutely nothing wrong or contradictory about being a woman and wanting those things, beyond how not being able to get them can make you feel. ... But also, have you checked in with yourself recently regarding your gender? It's worth doing from time to time, especially if you experience feelings of body dysphoria. ;)
yeah you COULD be a gnc cis woman, you COULD be not a woman, either are valid - best of luck to you working it out, and going on hrt if you choose to after you do work it out!
i have a question exactly about this. Does cis people usually feel uncomfortable using or being called by opposites pronouns or they/them? I'm kinda wanting to be call he/him in spanish (also they/them but i dont like the spanish ones, just in english) and i dont get the courage to ask people around me to call me that, since now i'm questioning my gender but i dont feel uncomfortable for being call she/her , simply i like he/him too and i'm actually willing to see how i feel about other people calling me that,, instead of just me refering to myself this way since i already saw i like it. I have just get to experience being refered as he/him, and not exactly that but just more in an indirect way, a few times by one or two friends call me this by message and just one time hearing it and took me by surprise. Going back to the question the thing is , is it common to not feel uncomfortable by refering to yourself with a pronoun that doesn't match the gender identity you always thought you were?
@@mdust8409 Am Cis. You can 100% be uncomfortable or neutral about being misgendered. When I was younger, I something called places like the bank or the Wi-Fi service because there were problems with the Wi-Fi or with my bank account and I needed to call to correct it. However, my voice had not yet gotten heavy and I was sort of soft spoken, which lead me getting called ma'am by accident. A lot. I used to correct at first, but they might of misheard me the first couple times because they kept misgendering me, so I stopped and just dealt with it internally. It always bothered me. Like something was hurting my soul or as if they had personally insulted me. However, as time went by (all while being misgendered mind you) it started stinging less. It hurt less when they misgendered me. That did not mean I was content with being called ma'am, but rather I sort of hid the discomfort I felt when I was misgendered so I wouldn't be so bothered. It actually to me hating my voice. :/ Just because you arent bothered by others calling you she/her doesnt necessarily mean you won't be happier being called he/him.
@Farbirb Hinojosa thank you so much for your response :'c . It's always helpful get to know how others feel. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and start hating your voice :c . Be one cis or trans it surely can be hard being misgendered constantly and it's something no one should have to go through. I hope and wish you feel better now about it or get to feel better in the future :c . Also thank you so much for validating my doubts . It motivates me to actually do ask for being call he/him more, since it's what I feel I want.
This is why I'm thinking I'm enby. I don't get dysphoria from being seen as a girl, and I like being feminine in my daily life. But in video games and roleplaying games, I almost always play guys. Recently I joined a guild in an MMO as a male character, and everyone refers to me as "he", and I feel happy when I'm seen as a guy in that context. And I've occasionally had certain uhhh bedroom fantasies about having a dick. But I don't want to be a guy all the time - other times, I want to be really cute in a girlish way, basically having two modes of presentation. It depends on my mood and the situation. So does that mean I'm enby? From what I've read, that's probably the case. But since I don't experience dysphoria, and my desire to be masculine is limited to certain aspects of my life, it feels like a stretch. I guess I fit the genderfluid definition though
My irl Egg_Irl moment was when my mtf friend who at the time didn't realise she was trans told me "I'm not trans, but if I was able to choose what gender I was born as I'd be female" and I was just like "honey...". Took her another sixish months to realise, lmao.
I was the same way a couple years before I realized I was trans, lol. I was all like "being a woman feels terrible and I hate it, but I could never be a trans guy! I'll just identify as genderqueer." (Still genderqueer now. Not a woman. Much nicer this way. 😂) It's like we build up "being trans" into this scary complicated thing when in reality, realizing you're trans makes everything simpler.
@@pisospicados3337 depends, but to me, the most important aspect of questioning is simply observing the whole of your self without judgment. from which the process of discovery & realization can begin
I was really like "I have no *particular* desire to be either gender" and a year later was like "everything about my gender MUST change NOW". It was sudden and it took a lot of my closest friends by surprise. Except, oddly enough, the few who were also extremely trans or queer. Those people were like "yep, that tracks. Good for you!"
I was the opposite. I was like, “Female clothes are always so trendy and cheaply designed. Mens clothing is more classic and well-made. They’re so lucky 😞”
Thanks for that! Man, underwear’s alone are just a pain. And the bra lines, then menstruation, and everyone thinking everything about a female is sexual. Them breathing means they want something 😅. Hell, I tried to hide myself with baggy clothes and someone was trying to get my number. Another instance, I was walking to a store and there was a guy on his bike vulturing me until he came close and grabbed my butt. I was horrified 😒. Now I’m in a group full of guys and me the only girl. They want to make something and keep discarding my ideas because I can’t see what they see. Sighs. It’s always fun NOT tell people your gender online though.
"If you surveyed 100 cis women and offered them testosterone..." Me, maybe. Jaime: they'd say no". Me, oh. I wish I'd known what NB was growing up. I find stuff like this confirming for me, even though I'm not trans.
I'm a cis woman who would try T either for science or my own medical needs. I'm a huge supporter of advancing medical science and already have small breasts. As an ally, it would be an honor to provide a more diverse data set for transmen and their medical care.
It's actually a real phenomenon that the pandemic has offered many LGBTQIA+ people a chance to realize who they are and come out. One of the consequences of the pandemic has been prolonged isolation, which gives you more time for self-reflection and to ask questions of personal identity and what you want most out of life. Without all the everyday distractions, you're forced to confront yourself and the issues you've been avoiding dealing with. That was certainly the case for me.
Throw back to when I thought "I'm cis but if I woke up tomorrow with *completely* different bits and people thought I was a different gender, I would be okay with that." Looking back, all I can say is that sweet little summer child was so SO very wrong.
I'm bisexual, and in middle school I thought I turned myself from gay to straight by suppressing my little crushes on girl classmates. Took my until my mid 20s to come out to myself. The internalized homophobia/biphobia was strong haha
@@Ammiller5 In high school, I thought I was some gross degenerate because I equated aesthetics with sexual attraction and thought I was sexually attracted to some family members. Turns out I was just ace and didn't understand how sexual attraction works. I understand it somewhat now, and definitely nkt sexually into anyone.
Wait... the normal amount is zero?!? Really?? I used to think about being a boy all the time. I still wish I could take my breasts off and just be a boy or masc some days. Other days I want to be as femme as possible, drawing attention to the breasts and just being more traditionally female. I JUST discovered there is a word for my sexuality- pansexual. I have always just accepted I was cis. AFAB and female presenting. I struggle with feeling pansexual ENOUGH as it is since I am in a long term monogamous relationship with a cishet male. I never thought to explore my gender... But I am thinking it now...
NGL, that's kinda how I started. I've recently realized I'm nonbinary. Then I was like "hmm top surgery would be grand." Then I was like "hmm T helps you build muscle, and I want to be strongboi." Now I have a consult in to a surgeon for top, and I'm on the waitlist for a gender clinic. My biggest piece of advice [and this may be a bit controversial]: start the process early. Like, consider talking to your healthcare provider that you're exploring your gender. Just having it in your chart could help you down the line. [Of course this assumes you live somewhere where it is safe to disclose that you're exploring your gender.] You could absolutely still come out cis. But knowing your resources-cis or trans-is a huge advantage.
there's a whole host of different terms that might fit you. genderfluid, nonbinary, bigender, pangender, etc. or the encompassing "genderqueer" if you don't want to use one of the labels under the umbrella. personally i've had similar feelings before too, so you're not alone
You can identify however you wish ! Even if you have “signs” of being trans, remember that no one is forcing you. BUT the normal amount is zero 😌 I wish you all the best in self discovery ❤️❤️
As a small child my parents explained to me that trans people exist, and my reaction was “I should do that when I grow up”. I have no clue how it took me four years after that to realize I’m trans
Fun fact: in Arabian mythology, Djinns (genies) often purposely find loopholes in the wishes of humans and grant them in ways that are technically true, but anger the human. this means that the comic that appears around 5:04 is mythologically accurate.
@@enbyarchmage Y'know, for a number of years, I thought the lyric was, "he spilled blood". Then, I considered that Freddie Mercury was Iranian, and went through my dictionary. That changed some things ;) .
Me as a kid asking if other friends dreamed they would grow up to be a man? Me in my 20s realising that I don’t want to be either of the “two genders” full time… Me in my 30s being happily Enby :)
When I was a kid I honestly believed that genders were like a childish thing kids did (with like the whole "girls rule boys drool"/"no girls alowed", pink/blue toys etc culture) and that we would have all grown out of it by the time we were like teenagers 🤷
My husband and I are straight/cis but both agree it would be cool to trade sexes or bodies for a single day if we could definitely go back after, I wanna pee standing up and walk outside topless once :)) I definitely know I would hate to stay that way and the novelty would wear off quickly and I'd want to be a woman again, and vice versa for my husband. A lot of cis people I know would happily switch for a day too. I personally think it's weird for a cis person to not be curious about it at least once, whether or not they'd actually take that opportunity
"Have I? HAVE I?!" So much this. I actively repressed my identity for years, trying so hard to be a cis woman. Mostly because I was afraid my husband would leave me. Finally cracked and came out when I was 32. I've been on T for over 2 years and had top surgery last year, and my husband has been my biggest supporter. And my kids love to remind me to take my "boy medicine."
I remember as a teenager thinking "I could never be a man. I mean I picture myself as one but it's be a very girly man." I wish I could tell them that there's no limit to how you experience masculinity.
Just a reminder Trans fems, you look pretty and I hope you have a good day Trans mascs, you look handsome and I hope you have a good day People outside the binary, you look positively perplexing and I hope you have a good day Xenogender people and non dysphoric trans people, your gender is valid and I hope you have a good day Allys, I can’t tell you how much the little things mean and I hope you have a good day (If this made your day please let me know it means a lot)
disclaimer: its gonna sound like im angry at you, but im just angry at the word tomboy i hate the word tomboy. its just like, its an unnecessary and cisnormative word. *you can be a girl and act like a “tomboy” anyway we dont need a new word for this to shame people* also as an amab person ironically all of my childhood friends who were called tomboys are now enby of some sort so theres that too lol
@@x999uuu1 you’ve got the spirit, but I think changing the word isn’t enough. my point is that there shouldn’t be a word for it at all, because having a word for it creates an ingroup (“normal” girls) and an outgroup (“tomboys”) which can easily serve to shame young girls for their behaviors or preferences unnecessarily.
@@carsonpearce5980 Would categorizing the SHIT out of all the styles of girlhoods until they're basically just describing fashion preferences work enough to defang/reclaim that word?
@@carsonpearce5980 I mean, there are still gender norm non-conforming girls who identify as cis and they have the right to have a word for that as well as non-binary people have the right to name their identities. If the word tomboy suggests that there are 'normal' girls and girls that fall outside of the girl criteria, then every LGBT term is wrong, too, because they highlight exceptions from some norms.
In retrospect, most of my "crushes" on boys in my class or male fictional characters were actually gender envy. I wanted to be Sirius Black from Harry Potter or Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean so badly!
I think there's a difference between curiosity "imagining yourself as the opposite gender" and actually fantasizing, I mean I'm cis and I've wondered what it's like but I don't want to switch
Hi Jamie. I’m a 13 year old trans guy who came out in November of last year. I just got this account and I thought the first thing I should do is thank you. You’ve helped me so much through anxiety and dysphoria, and I want you to know that! I’m starting my physical transition soon, and I can’t wait! Thanks so much. -Leo
As a mother of daughters, I am relieved it's seen to be much more socially acceptable and "normal" for girls to be into "boy" things and wear "boy" clothes. I'm relieved not to have sons. This is not because I take any issue with boys in makeup or skirts/dresses or playing with dolls, but because my husband does. It's not likely we'll have more children, but I take it as a kindness of the universe that sons were not a blessing we received in this marriage. It would be World War III in this house with me advocating for a son against my transphobic husband. I love him and he has redeeming qualities, but I never want to expose a child to his bullshit.
When lockdown happened I went on the path of questioning whether or not I was cis. I concluded that I am cis but I don't mind using they/them pronouns. And I don't see gender restrictions when it comes to clothing and accessories. If I feel comfortable wearing a necklace or nail polish that does not mean I am any less of a man.
@@dustyganillla4960 (: Thank you. I might be more comfortable with people outside the gender binary since it was an attraction to someone who doesn't identify within that binary that made me understand that I was bisexual. It was a long road but now I'm bisexual and proud.
@@docopoper Funny enough. In elementary school a girl who I'll dub Jessica I would "flirt with" Who were more of a TomBoy and she would "flirt back with me? I went through a little depression phase if you will and I started "dating" Alex my Ex-boyfriend. He was more of a tom-girl. Had things worked out differently I would have probably at least stayed in communication with both. Jessica liked me more of a friend but she realized my heart was for another but we would still flirt with one another like crazy so when this other girl rejected me by then Jessica already moved on and started dating someone else. Alex was the person I leaned on when my heart snapped in half. After a while, both relationships ended and Jessica acknowledged that we were only going to be friends. If I wasn't frightened of my dad or letting Jessica into my heart I would have comprehended that I was bisexual a lot sooner. This was in a period when the Internet and a cell phone weren't common. (Crazy I know). So there wasn't a way we could stay in touch. I had crushes on girls for the most part that filled that feminine role in society wants. But Jessica was the only one who liked me for me. I draw to the tom-girls and tom-boys because they were more accepting of who I am and my disabilities. As a result of that, I am more open to exploring roles outside the gender norm of my gender.
@@mellow-e5765 (: I'm glad I could help. I spent a long time being umm hateful towards this beautiful community.. Mostly due to pressure from my dad and society... It makes me happy that I can make people feel comfortable with themselves instead of hurting them.
In a completely opposite way, the "you deserve to be with a real man" was told to me regularly by my girlfriend, who was trans and I had to keep telling her that if I absolutely wanted to be with a man, I wouldn't be with her.
As a cis woman, I have imagined myself as the opposite gender, and I think that is perfectly normal. It was more theoretical, but still imagining myself.
same!! imagining isn't wishing 😅 and i feel like there are many more reasons to imagine it than being an Egg, as it were, especially if you're a cis woman (patriarchy/power ideals surrounding men) or already queer (fucking around with compcishet is already a given), you know??
@@juno5756 i think it's more the difference between occasionally imagining versus constantly thinking about it. I would also agree that for some cis people it isn't zero (though for many people I think it's close to that) but it's not a constant thought. A frequent yearning to be a different gender, especially if that yearning is very vivid (what it would feel like, look like, smell like) seems much rarer with cis people than trans people. Of course it also depends on the nature of the yearning (a cis woman might imagine living as a man with focus on the social freedoms that come with not experiencing misogyny, whereas a trans man might imagine being a man in a more multifaceted holistic way, including anatomy, social experiences, and the good and bad portions). But none of these are absolutes. Its definitely a statement that needs a lot qualifications.
Me too. I have also imagined what it would be like to be a horse, a dog, a centaur, a whale, a bird, a ghost... My conclusion: Not trans, just way too many thoughts 😅
@@Lisa_Flowersyeah, I personally had a definite want to be a girl before I realized I was trans, and I pretty frequently imagined what I’d look like as a girl. The main difference is probably between thinking of it as purely hypothetical vs wanting it to be true.
I, 31, enby, always enjoy my own egg moment when I, back at 16, had that merry thought "I'm just a gay guy's heart in a woman's body", and then put that thought on ice for another decade. Hope anyone else enjoys that 😅
That is literally the thought process I had when I figured out I was non-binary, too! I felt like an effeminate gay man who couldn’t properly express his femininity without having his masculinity disregarded as well. I’m so glad I finally found someone else who felt that way! :D
@@draalttom844 wait, you just made me realize one of the reasons I like reading gay relationships (I’m pan with a preference for men) is because I’m non-binary/gender fluid (relatively new realization) and have always on some level related to those relationships more than cis hetero or lesbian relationships. I also have always felt kind of bad about it like I am intruding on something that wasn’t mine to be a part of. But wow, that makes a lot of sense now.
@@draalttom844 good to know I wasn't the only one 😅 that was what had prompted that thought to begin with. Even now, those feel most relateable to me. In the same procrastinating egg spirit, I had similar merry and blunt thoughts about my pan and ace traits that I just accepted without realizing the impact of it 😂 guess you don't see the rainbow when you're swimming right in it.
thats a lot of emotional maturity and social confidence for an 8 year old also, congrats on finding yourself!!! (or at least being on the path to doing so)
I was also very confused between demiboy and enby, but eventually gender euphoria showed me that identifying as nonbinary suits me better, at least for now. Maybe, a similar strategy could work for you. What gives you gender euphoria? You don't need to answer. P.S Remember that, even if you identify as 100% enby, you can present/act as boyish as you like and use any pronouns you like, he/him included. There is no need to force yourself to be "either" a demiboy or an enby: trying too hardto fit a thing as fluid, fuzzy and abstract as gender to static labels can make you miss the point of gender-questioning: making you feel at peace with yourself.
@@enbyarchmage I very much enjoy your P.S. message my philosophy is that gender is made up anyway, so i don’t feel like people should worry too much about the words they use and should just present in whatever way makes them most happy :)
I used to think puberty transed your gender, so every adult man was born female and every adult woman was born male according to 6 year old me. 6 year old me was onto something I wish I became a biological male after puberty
While quarantine didn’t make me realize I was trans, my marriage collapsing and me being on my own and focusing on myself for the first time in a very very long time let me finally accept I’m trans.
My story is similar, I was in university and was questioning quite a bit. I put that on the backburner since I was having a hard time trying to juggle that and try to finish up my degree. I ended up getting married and had access to cloths of the opposite gender that fit me (she was un aware about me being trans. But I did try to kink up a few times and it did not work for her). We end up getting a divorce mainly for a mix of not seeing eye to eye on a lot of things and me not getting her pregnant. Had a lot of time since the divorce to reflect on a lot of things and after 20 years got around to that back burner.
@@Kara_Kay_Eschel Yep. For me it was mainly a lack of knowledge. I had signs in high school but didn’t know what trans was. 8 years ago I had a major gender crisis to a point where I started looking up how bottom surgery works because I thought that was a requirement for me to be considered a woman (again, I had no one to talk about this to, and I should have spoken with a therapist but I was scared to) and I got scared and backed out. I had only ever been in one relationship up until that point with the last girl I tried to date break up with me because I “acted too much like a girl and she didn’t want to be the guy in the relationship.” Then 8 months later I was introduced to someone that I got married to, and the relationship and raising her teenage step kids was all I could focus on. It took me stepping away after it ended and talking to someone I knew online who just came out as trans and realizing how much I related to finally accept I’m trans. Took me until 34.
It's not the same, but I had that situation with being bi. I'm cis afab, met my ex husband when I was 19. We were together for 9 years. I kinda knew that I also liked girls a lot, but put that on the back burner since I met him. I never got an opportunity to date women, so now at 28 I'm a baby queer in gay clubs trying to figure it all out while being a mature adult. It's weird, but it's new and fun. Again, I know it's not the same as figuring out your gender, but I wish yall luck with that, no matter your age!
I remember always drawing myself as a boy, making my self-inserts be "mistaken" for boys, and even wrote a story about a boy who had to pretend to be a girl in public. I also 100% thought I was a girl even though my brain had been saying "boy" since I was 5. the egg was strong.
I strongly relate. Oddly enough, though, I'm not a man. I think for me, it was always about being read as non-female, rather than being taken as male. I still find it satisfying to be referred to as "sir", purely because it means I'm not immediately being categorised as a "ma'am".
@@AD_AP_T Genderfluid person here! I totally relate to that. I tend to be on the trans masc side, so I know that skews my perspective, but I love being called "sir" and I despise "ma'am" with a burning passion. I like being viewed as a person first, so I usually look pretty neutral, leaning toward the masculine side [even as a kid! I got "misgendered" quite a lot when I was younger, it was great!]. I wouldn't think of myself as 'non-female' in those instances personally, I've come to find I usually am agender, but yeah.
@@LoreCatan (I haven't come across a label that I like yet beyond genderqueer, but fwiw, I think those who're into the MOGAI everything-should-be-categorised philosophy would put me in the agender or gendervoid box, with overtones of apagender.)
3:27 For anyone who might not know, this is a cross dresser, not a trans woman. Finn still goes by he/him and is a cis guy. He cross dresses for twitch and his fanbase likes to call him an egg as a joke. Edit: He falls under the trans spectrum now, and is on HRT.
I feel joy when people mistake my gender, not because I am closeted trans, but because I am sadistic and enjoy social tension. “Oh, don’t worry about it. This happens *all the time*.” Then I watch them sweat. 😈
"The masculine urge to be a lesbian." Oof! That one hits close to home. I spent decades in denial, and even after I realized I wasn’t cis almost 5 years ago, my orientation and natural aesthetic preference (butch/androgynous) had me in the weeds assuming I must be genderqueer or NB (both totally valid, just not me). I came out to my 70-something year old parents over our Easter visit this month and while they were baffled, they still accepted me. Hearing my parents call me their daughter for the first time after nearly 50 years of being "son" was rather overwhelming.
I'm cis and I often thought about being the other gender - however this was my way of expressing an interest in different styles "dressing like a boy" or "dressing like a girl" and then I grew up to realize I can just dress how I like that day regardless of my gender so thats what I did. I've never felt dysphoria about my body, it was more societal.
That story about the estrogen offered to cis men reminds me of what my mom did when I just came out. She read lots and lots of stuff on the internet and was convinced that I (mtf) was suffering from low testosterone. So she bought a lots of food that contained a lot of testosterone. I refused to eat any of that, just the thought of more T in my body was terrifying. She got very furious and told me I had to eat it to become normal again. I made a self-test to show her my T level was fine. My mom was happy, idk why. Seeing that result however, let me hit rock bottom and I had to start seeing a therapist and start my transition...
The end one; you're right LOL. I am a cis woman with PCOS and thus, have elevated testosterone. It has ruined my life. I grow facial hair, chest hair, stomach hair and a happy trail, extremely thick other kinds of body hair, the whole nine, minor bits of balding on my head hair, have horrific, painful acne, irregular periods. Thankfully, the one thing I don't have is clit growth but I know cis women with PCOS who do. Elevated testosterone in cis women is horrific to deal with in my experience at least. I always say I wish I could offload it to transmascs who would actually want these effects and then I could give transfems my uterus bc I also have endometriosis and my uterus is the bane of my existence sometimes (like rn. I'm in an endo flare rn, and it almost put me in the hospital last Monday. Would have been the third time endo had put me in the hospital 🙃 Thank god I didn't have to go in the end). But yeah, I always say I wish I could offload it to y'all but then I remember all the negative effects that uncontrolled levels of testosterone and my endometriosis cause and I obviously don't want trans people to go through that. 😔 When you get testosterone prescribed by your doctor, there's risk evaluation, there's a certain level that you and the doctor are comfortable with, you get regular checkups. If I was able to offload my extra testosterone to transmascs, there wouldn't be those checkups associated with prescription testosterone so there'd be a risk of Type 2 Diabetes (I'm borderline diabetic), insulin resistance (I'm insulin resistant), heart disease (I've had some weird heart things but not heart disease thankfully), and of getting certain cancers (thankfully has never happened to me and I hope it never does. I have been told I'm definitely at risk for those cancers though). And obvs I don't wanna see transfems go through Endo pain (or get PCOS either). So as fun as it is to imagine a world where I could help with y'all's dysphoria, I don't think that world would be possible. :( But yeah, point is, you are right, Jamie. Elevated testosterone is not usually loved in cis women so if someone out there is thinking about hormones to get the effects of facial hair, etc, I would say they're probably trans and shouldn't doubt themselves. 😅🥰💖 Like you said, the rate of detransition is so small. It's not worth denying yourself happiness if that is what will make you happy! Obvs talk to your doctors and stuff but you only live once and I don't think you should stop yourself from being happy just bc of some distant, tiny chance that you might regret it. ❤️
i’m a trans man with pcos and it’s great and all but it’s just not enough for me 😭 like i’m pretty flat and have a mustache but…. now what!? like i’d be fine with pcos if it made me more masc but it doesn’t do it as much as i guess i would have expected. my T levels are 120+ at only 15 years old yet i barely pass before hrt 🥲
@@Linksutin I'm a cis gay 50+ man, so I don't have anything like your experience. _However,_ from the way you're talking, it sounds very much to me like you _are_ trans, but under a lot of social pressure to remain in your genital-based-gender-role. If you haven't talked with a doctor and/or therapist who specializes in trans health, please, please do so! You deserve to be _you._
@@Linksutin yeah this sounds a lot (to me, anyway) like dysphoria becoming worse as puberty progresses. Talking to a doctor would probably be in your best interests, even if nothing comes of it and you decide to carry on as you are! When you know for certain what you want to classify your experience as, it will still be just as valid.
I think a large part of why I realized I was trans during covid was because when you spend weeks at a time not seeing anyone, not having to deal with and live up to their expectations, not having to see yourself through the eyes of others, not having being constantly presented with a reflection of yourself distorted by the society around you, all you're left with is you. The whole Id, Ego, and Super Ego thing may be bunk but I think there's definitely something to the idea that part of you is defined by the world around you. If you remove that you get closer to who you are at the core. Turns out there was a whole ass dude at my core. Ope.
Kind of similar experience here. I went really feminine when I moved to a rather conservative city for my first job out of college, though I'd exhausted my girly phase by middle school (legit never wore trousers in elementary, and basically lived in baggy jeans, tees, and hoodies/flannel from 6th grade then on). during covid with fully remote work for almost two years I started dying my hair colors again and going back to my baggy jeans and tees and giant hoodies since there were no coworkers to have to 'fit the image' for (I'm an engineer, and when I hired in the boomer culture was strong). Unfortunately being back at work in that feminine kit was really disphoric, which was freaky (and short duration thankfully), but knowing what I know now at least, I at least knew how to approach the situation. Not Trans admittedly, and not really questioning at this point either; I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere between gender ambivalent and non-binary, and it's a weird weight off my shoulders to understand that now
With me, some ex-friends on Discord pointed out that I am not cis and that they've noticed, meanwhile I started getting bristled with feminine terms (saying this as a trans dude of his own genders)
Definitely, similar to my story. Though I had extreme egg stuff going on that kept on getting stronger during quarantine, like Googling if I could change my gender. It took literally being in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean ranting (at normal speaking volume) in an engine room of ship for me to piece together I was no man (still planning to going to sea as an engineer). If any of you question if you are trans, you probably are. Does that mean you must be trans, not always since if you figure out that your cis after questioning your gender, you have unlocked being cis+, the same as being cis but with a better understanding of your gender than most cis people.
I would love it if Jamie presented his PhD research on the channel. I love the memes but he's clearly so very knowledgeable and I'd love to hear what he has to say in more detail.
Yes me too! I would love even just one video where he presents his work/thesis in a similar way to 3MT style. I might currently be doing research in similar areas so I’m very curious about his work.
@@dustyganillla4960 Doesn’t the fact that it’s convoluted mean that there’s plenty of material worth publishing. There’s so many things to discuss and explore.
@@gingganggoolie I found the Sci Guys podcast and it’s so fascinating. One of the projects I’m working on is looking at a gendered perspective of segg$ual a$$ault and the general main focus of the project is creating an educational tool for people. But anyhow, Jamie’s research is so important and so well done. I would love to hear more about his work if I could!
As a cis woman with a lot of trans and enby friends and who doesn't conform to typical gender stereotypes, I check in with my gender occasionally. An enby friend will sometimes use they/them pronouns for me and I'm like, this is fine, but it's not correct. 🤣 Can also confirm if somone offered me testosterone my response would be, "No thanks, got enough of that already!"
I read this comment two days ago and I keep thinking about it, so please excuse my $0.02. I mean, it's fine to lose track of our friends' pronouns occasionally, and accidentally applying gender-non-specific in particular isn't the end of the world for most people, but seriously my enbabes and transweethearts, being in the gender minority doesn't mean we "know" someone's "real" gender better than that do, and it absolutely doesn't make it okay to misgender them. Maybe your friend isn't doing this, but it is something a tiny minority *do* do... And if someone happens to read this who has been, please stop it.
@@AD_AP_T I could be wrong in reading their comment this way. But I definitely got the impression from context that either their friend just uses they/them to sometimes refer to them because it's a neutral pronouns used on all people occasionally, like that's generally how English is used. Or maybe even part of them checking in with their gender was asking their friend to use those pronouns just to confirm how they feel about pronouns. Again, its kinda unclear from what OP said, it could very much be their friend misgendering them, but that's what I gathered. And while I agree with your point, the way you framed it sounded a kinda condescending (maybe it's the 'enbabes and transweethearts' lol, or the gender minority = shoving they/them pronouns on everyone assumption.) There probably are nonbinary people like this but I don't know if that's the first place I would have gone after reading OP's comment and it feels weirdly similar to the assumption a lot of cis people make about nonbinary people. Maybe I just don't ever encounter enbies like this in the wild and I'm naive 🤷
@@Lisa_Flowers to be clear: I'm talking as an insider to other insiders about a mini-trend I've noticed a tiny minority of enbies doing. "Enbabes" is self-referential. ;) Fair observation, though -- that impression is why I didn't immediately make the comment, and only came back after it was still bugging me for a couple of days.
I transitioned during quarantine and it was mainly because I didn't have to wear office clothes anymore or explain to coworkers and then I bought a binder "just to try it". The rest was like dominoes. Also one of my psychiatrists is a cis woman who has been on testosterone for a hormonal imbalance so it was really interesting to talk to her about our different experiences.
My husband and I are cis/straight and thing it would be cool to swap bodies/sexes for a day, but only if we could go back after. I wanna see what it's like to pee standing up and walk outside topless, but I'd definitely want to go back to being a woman after the novelty runs out
I think it's less that the normal amount is 0 and more that there should be nothing even resembling regularity to it if you're cis and for many it'll be 0-1 time.
I got pulled over by a police officer a month before my court date to change my name legally. I was going to update my license and everything with the my name afterwards. The officer asked for my ID which was my old pre-transition self portrait on it and he looked at me and said "why'd you give me somebody else's ID?" I said that's mine which he said "what happened to your face you look like someone else?" I said I'm trans. He said ok and I could tell he got really embarrassed and nervous and left to run my info. I was nearly having a heart attack, panicking so bad I was shaking. He came back and nicely gave me a warning and let me go I drove off but I started crying from the shear embarrassment, fear and anxiety. He was nice though luckily, my ID has a new photo and my proper name now!
i remember being like 6 years old and telling my friends that it would be really cool if we all magically changed sexes and everyone except one of my friends were like "no thanks" and the one who agreed with me came out as nonbinary around the same time I came out as trans.. it's funny
I had a regrettable "anti-sjw" phase as a teenager and I remember being really upset by women saying that they didn't feel represented by male characters and I thought that they must have no empathy or something because I had no problem relating to and identifying with them just as much as I would female characters 😬
@Martian Pudding I am a cis hetero woman and I went through the "not like other girls" cringe phase during my teenage years. Unfortunately we are all victims to toxic social trends 🤦🏼♀️. Now I am a strong feminist and ally. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
saame most of the characters I idolised/related to were men, with some exceptions. I remember talking to some people about the LOTR movies and they were saying how hot Aragorn is, I agreed he is hot but I don't have a crush on him, I wanted to BE him and everyone was like ...ok? lmao
Singing up on the anti-SJW phase portion, but while I can empathize and sympathize with women much more and better now, than I did back then, I'm also more classically masculine and very much cis.
@@butterflypooo I was also ironically very against non binary identities because I thought everyone felt that way and they were actually being sexist by insisting most people identified with their agab 🙃 basically I thought everyone was enby and being cis was internalized sexism
I used to imagine that if I could shapeshift, I would use this power to get away from my mother by becoming someone she would never recognize. Which meant, naturally, that I would transform into a man. Or a male dragon. In retrospect, that should have been a huge sign.
Hey you could always go both and just turn into the kind of dragon who turns into a man! There, dillema solved! (tbh I don't think anyone would say no to having an extra dragon form)
i have adhd, and when people tell me "you can do anything, you just haven't tried hard enough", i tell them: yes, i have, and the only thing it got me was depressed so i guess when someone asks if you've tired to not be trans, you can use that one
I do just want to say that this culture of “if you’re questioning you’re probably trans” can be slightly problematic. I (AMAB) have questioned my gender a few times, and have imagined myself as a girl or non-binary, and am confident that I’m cis, or at most a demiboy that still uses exclusively he/him. And it definitely makes me pretty uncomfortable when people act like the fact that I’ve questioned at all means I must be a trans woman.
@@pretzel6629 lol I’m already lgbt anyway, I’m a biromantic asexual, and I literally consider myself a cis man in any real life situation. Your weird attempt at transphobia doesn’t work.
Can't have an r/egg_irl video without F1NN5TER lol FYI, F1NN is the person at 3:30. He is a youtuber and twitch streamer, who originally started crossdressing for a dare or a bet (or something, I don't really remember) and now keeps doing it because he thinks it's fun to stream dressed as a girl. The community likes to joke that he is an egg, but nobody seriously expects him to come out or anything as he has stated that he is a cis man and just does it for fun. That being said he definitely likes to play around and mess with his audience by acting stereotypically feminine.
✌Yeaaa, I was boutta comment about this (I been watchin F1NN content since July 2020), he has always said he's not trans, nor has he claimed to be, he is just a cis het crossdresser & strong LGBTQ+ Ally. P.s. since watching finns content and joining the community I discovered I'm Enby 😁 💛
@@LongandWeirdName Honestly, I don't really remember. I think I came across one of the omegle videos randomly, I'm not sure. Then it just kind of spiralled.
Rant: I find this stunningly frustrating - butch/femme presentation doesn't map directly to gender. Things like labelling a guy in drag as a woman in denial, or imposing they/them pronouns on a butch woman are just so gross, and just another way of enforcing rigid gender rules and roles. A cigar is sometimes just a cigar, and all that.
Thanks for this video, Jamie. I don't normally comment, but I really needed this support and affirmation today and you delivered, as always. I'm 1y 2m on T and my voice is done dropping. I present as masculine as I possibly can (clothing, binding, mannerisms, etc.) but I still frequently get misgendered/misread as female in public. Just a couple hours ago it happened again in front of a bunch of people at my school, including people who don't know me, and it really knocked me down. Watching this video and hearing you remind us all that we are the gender we know we are regardless of what other people say or think was something I just really needed to hear, so thank you. I hope that someday I can "pass" half as well as you (I don't like that word, but you get my meaning). Take care.
3:57 okay but i kinda felt this one tho, in reverse at least 😭 I ID'd as a lesbian for a long time, but I think what I hated about dating men wasn't the men, it was being the "woman" in a relationship with a man. Anyway, at one point in a conversation with a friend I was like "idk, I kind of think I wouldn't mind dating guys if I was one" and like. As soon as the words left my mouth I was internally Iike "uh oh. That was not a very cis thing to say was it"
It’s sort of unrelated, but today my mom told me that she and my dad are ok with me and my sister not wanting kids, and that they just want us to be happy. When I told her I was afraid I’d disappoint her, she said I never could, especially over a choice that I’m allowed to make myself. In relation to this video, it just highlights to me how important it is to just let your children express themselves and live their lives however they want as long as they’re not hurting anyone. My mom’s acceptance alone made me so happy, and I honestly can’t imagine the amount of joy children probably feel when they’re allowed to express themselves in comparison to those that can’t/aren’t allowed to. As parents, your duty is to take care of, teach, and discipline your child, but also to allow them to flourish and be happy.
I LOVE this! My sister-in-law has never been interested in having children. The lack of support she's received is appalling. Even as a mother myself, I support her in her choice. Her husband (my husband's brother) has desperately wanted children his whole life. They're truly best friends and my SIL has considered having a child as the ultimate gift of love to her husband. This is all her; he chooses her always, even over that dream. My sage wisdom for her is that growing and changing her plan does NOT invalidate that choice. We're supposed to grow. People may say, "see, we knew blah blah blah," but it's more than that. I wish you and your sibling all the joy and confidence of being child-free by choice. 🧡
I came across your channel in a very egg way. I was like "I just want to be a good trans ally." You were my introduction to many trans-related subreddits. I hang out a lot on r/egg_irl, so you experiencing it for the first time is beautifully full circle.
One of the earliest signs I recall of being trans was when I, unprompted, said to my friends “If I woke up in a boy’s body, yeah, I’d be surprised but then I’d live my day as normal.” Apparently, this is not a thought everyone has???
I went through a phase of questioning my gender where I realized that it wasn't my body that I hated, but it was the way people would treat me because of it. On that note, I found out I'm non-Binary.
Not trans, but - yes - stuck inside with my self for two years made me realize I needed to live as myself... because I'm stuck with me, and I didn't like being a fake version of myself. It is nice to see other members of the LGBTQ+ community living as their authentic selves, too. Just so much joy.
For me, it was less of needing to be happy with myself, it was being alone and happy for a long period of time and then suddenly being thrust into social events and realizing that it was the being referred to as a girl part of social events that I didn't like, not the social part...
I mean, this quarantine, I went, "Fuck it, not like anyone will see it if I screw up," and hacked off my shoulder-length ponytail. I can actually see myself looking back at me from the mirror now.
I'm not trans, but as a toddler, I did ask my parents when I would become a girl. Not upset, just curious. (Background: my father, grandfather and brother have blue eyes, while my mother and grandmother have brown. I have brown.)
@@DanaTheInsane I'm so sorry. My father was raised by a horrifically hateful, racist, homophobic, sexist, religious, etc. a-holes. He decided to break the cycle before I was born. So no judgments and toys of all kinds to us boys including dolls.
this is a great comment, but it reminds me how much I love hearing stories of transgender people being born with traits that their real gender has in their family. Like my face is identical to my little brothers and my grandpas, for example.
I went to my local trans support group for the first time and there was someone there wearing a "dinosaurs are cool" hoodie, and I just pointed at them and shouted "Jammidodger"!
My egg cracked over lockdown. I was putting all of my time into DnD because what else was there to do? and I told myself for like almost a year that no, it doesn’t mean anything that I decided to play a transmasculine character and everyone using he/him pronouns at the table gave me feels and that I was unwittingly making my character’s backstory similar to my childhood, it means nothing, nothing at all I’ve been on T for 4 months and couldn’t be happier!
When I was a kid people would often call me a man as a derogatory term, as in "you're acting like a man", "you look like a man" whenever I was being "nasty" in their eyes. Sometimes I get this feeling off, "but what if I wasn't a nasty man like they say? What if I could be a handsome dude for once?" And like- Yeah idk really, sometimes I feel like that, other times I wish I was more feminine and other times I wish I could just be neither all together
That is a really amazing journey! I have a question if you don't mind me asking because you shared about your personal experience here openly... I once heard an idea that It is not whether you are cis or trans but that your sexuality is coded as gay. So whether your gender is the one you were assigned at birth(and felt this was right) or whether you transition your sexuality will always be for same sex relationship, whatever you might understand your gender to be. (I hope I explained this correctly) Do you think that makes sense or do you think that is just a dumb idea I read online? I hope you will share your thoughts, and have a great day!
I remember being curious about what being a guy would be like, I'm that kid that kinda wanted to be a boy for a day. I like dressing up but tbh I never felt gender conforming considering everything I've done with my life and to be honest, I have questioned whether or not I would happier as a man than a woman. BUT since it's not overly affecting my life right now, I don't think I'm trans, I'm just me
1:17 truth, im gender unlabeled but look relatively masc, we were in EGYPT of all places and i nearly wasnt let through the airport to get home. didnt help that the first patdown i was in the mens section and in the second one my mum forced me into the womens, where upon touching my ribs the lady patting me down felt my binder and i had to strip down to show its a binder (explained as a sports bra) thank you, parents, for taking your very not-cis child to one of the most not-cis unfriendly countries 2 months after coming out :|
I remember as a child always wanting to make my character in video games a boy, but feeling like I had to be a girl in all of them. Haha, I was so in denial.
I have been watching you for a while and I recently came out as trans (FtM) to my parents which was really scary but it turns out they supported me which was really surprising giving the fact my dad was really transphobic so I was really happy. Anyways I hope you have a really great day :D
@The Werewolf Of Scandinavia I don't think I'd use Blaire White as a great example... She became the doormattiest of doormats when a christian extremist faschy woman started calling her a man and saying she was a p3d0 and indoctrinating children by existing as trans. It was pretty pathetic, even for Blaire, to turn from being strong and opinionated (no matter how trash her takes) to basically turning into a beaten and defeated shell of herself amidst her own who'd sell out her own mother for her alt-right grift.
Dusty never questions the validity of Blaire White or Erica Anderson and yet he goes around attacking every other trans person like he has a trans pass.
@@neoqwerty Honestly Dusty sounds like he has a Jared Loughtner complex. He goes around claiming that everyone is wrong just because he says so and advertises his saves to force his views onto others. Don't let him win.
it took me so long to figure out that yes, I do actually experience body dysphoria (it took me longer to realize that than it did for me to come out and start T!!) because growing up, so many adult women around me made it seem like hating being a woman was the most womanly thing you could ever do, like I swear there were probably times where I verbatim heard "no woman likes being a woman, being a woman sucks" and I am just begging cis people to spend a little more time and effort exploring their gender if you wind up going down a long questioning journey and at the end, turns out you're perfectly happy being cis and you're not trans? that's okay!! not a single second of that was wasted time!! congratulations, you now have greater empathy for trans people and maybe even are a little more comfortable breaking out of rigid gender roles from time to time, and if nothing else you'll probably at least walk away with a greater appreciation and understanding of your gender identity
That last one, "If you offered cis women testosterone-" Lemme stop you right there. I've already got too much testosterone in me thanks to PCOS. I don't want anymore! XD
Regarding the quarantine thing, from what I have heard, a lot of people took the opportunity to transition because they would be able to go through the first stages in private, and by the time they “had to” go back out in public they would have had time to adjust to the changes and been further along.
this subreddit helped me feel comfortable coming out as non binary. i felt like an imposter for a while, and like i had to be 100% sure before i told anyone. but it helped that i related so much to a lot of trans memes. lately so many people i know having been coming out, and i love that the world is changing for trans people. even with all the political and social backlash, our existence can't be denied. more and more people now have the freedom to know who they really are, even if many are still held back from expressing it. the tide is turning, it gives me hope.
So, here’s a rant that no one asked for. It’s been approximately 1.5 years since I know what « trans » means. I think not a SINGLE DAY has passed since then without the thought of me being trans haunting me. I think about it ALL THE TIME, and the more I think about it the more things make sense. It’s really scary and I still can’t fully admit it to myself ( let alone others ) but with each day I become a little more confident that I am in fact trans. I think I really am. So here’s the problem : I know for a fact that my dad is transphobic, I’ve subtly tested the waters and the results have been NOT GOOD, but I can’t know for sure if it’s just ignorance that a conversation could overcome or if it’s hardcore repulsion. I can’t tell my other family member’s positions tho. Most of my « friends » ( I’m trying to cut them off) are transphobic too, and I have just one sister, one friend and one cousin who are accepting. I am just under 18 and since I have a late puberty it’s not too bad yet ( I have mild dysphoria, it sucks but not too extreme ) but it might worsen before I turn 18. I know I can’t get treatement right away, I need a prescription and depending on the professional. I could be put on a loooong waitlist or outright refused hrt so i should start the process as soon as possible but I think I’m just too terrified to tell my parents before 18 because then they could legally prevent me from accessing it and since I’m not financially independent that could end up really bad. I haven’t told anyone because I still have thoughts that I’m making all of this up sometimes, and it’s the worst. At this point, if there was a magic test that could tell with 100% accuracy my gender I would be relieved if it showed I was trans because otherwise there wouldn’t be any explanation to my feelings. Sometimes I feel so lost in my own mind & body it feels like I’m sinking. I don’t know what to do yet my brain screams to me that I should do SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. This is not the kind of feelings cis people have, I have to admit it once and for all. I’m probably trans. This is so scary yet the internet, especially trans-friendly streams/RU-vid channels are one of the only places where I feel safe and loved, I can’t imagine what I must’ve felt like to those who were truly all alone. You know what I hope right now ? I hope that in a few months/years, there will be an edit to this comment, saying that I am out, and that this dark phase of doubts and fears is mostly over, that I have new wonderful friends who are lovely and supportive, and that I finally feel at home in my own body and social role. But anyway, I wanted to say, that approximately 1 and a half years ago, if I learned what « trans » meant, it’s because I was randomly recommended a video from this channel. It was here that i got into online queer spaces, and that helped me tremendously. So, if anyone reads all of this, thank you. Thank you for being part of this community, never forget that your kindness, humor, respect, inclusivity and cheerfulness saves lives.
Virtuel hug. You are still valid, whatever you deside to do, and however long it takes you to get there. Maybe get some online councilling if you can afford it? It really sounds like you need to talk.
Update n°1 : i’m starting to be confident that I AM trans, another sign is that yesterday I was chilling in an online queer space to celebrate the beginning of pride month and I commented on a post of a nonbinary person who was sharing their new name they chose for themselves, and we started a discussion and I told them about a name idea I had in mind for myself since a couple of hours and they used that name for me in their answer and I think I had real gender euphoria for the first time I literally couldn’t stop smiling for 10 minutes. (jesus that was a long sentence without punctuation) Also I am in the process of distancing myself from toxic friend groups and I got a lot closer with some really cool people I was talking with for quite some time, and I got a friend who is pan and very supportive and I was thinking I could come out to her sometimes this month, because I trust her and it would be a huge step for me.
I am in a very similar situation, only I’m a bit younger and have very accepting friends. I really understood every word you said here, and ive felt stressed about it as well. I must say, however, since you are 18 you can really start progressing this transition and be your true self in no time! You should feel proud for being able to push through all this, and I hope you find true happiness at the end of this journey!
6:00 Jamie became the boyfriend, and as an agender I realized I could be the princess in shining armour with a sword on the horse WHILE AT THE SAME TIME being the prince up in his tower brushing his long hair and playing the lute. It was great to understand that.
8:18 I’ve got a friend with some medical stuff and they were prescribed steroids for a bit. They’d just hold the pill and look at me and be like “yknow there’s T in these right” and the urge I got to just pay them every cent in my wallet and take it was overwhelming. I didn’t because they like, actually need to take this for medical reasons and it’s definitely not a dose that would be like HRT, but I genuinely wanted it so bad regardless..
As one of those people who finally accepted being trans during covid (I had some confusion earlier in life that I repressed), I do honestly think it is a mix of being allowed time to introspect as well as research/dive into the content of trans people. I in general got way more leftist during Covid because I had all the time in the world to actually look into my preconceived notions about how the world works and realize how wrong I was. I so busy with working high demanding jobs for not enough money and the way we were raised (at least me) to not question parts of yourself and just give it to a higher power that I couldn't really explore these things about myself. With all the time in the world and my budding confusion rising back to the surface, I finally got brave enough to start listening to the voices of trans people and found I really resonated with that experience and finally accepted I was trans.
This subreddit getting covered by OT really helped me realize that I was nonbinary. It's a really really helpful one for people who are still figuring stuff out, especially with more complicated identities. My biggest challenge was figuring out what exactly what nonbinary meant for me, because I still strongly identify as a lesbian. She felt right, but not completely right. She/they ended up being what fit. It really felt right, to sometimes feel more feminine, and like aspects of it while feeling totally dissacociated with others.
One time when I was younger I said to my dad, “Sometimes I wish I was a boy.” Back then I didn’t know anything about being trans, and I thought it sucked being a girl because the only people I had as friends back then were all boys and I never really acted like any of the girls I knew (I was loud, I loved video games, and I’ve always hated wearing dresses and the color pink) so I always wondered what it would be like if I was born a boy instead of a girl. The look on his face 🤣 Worst part was I didn’t understand why he reacted that way until years later
I want someone who is Agender to make a video with the title "99 Genders and I don't got one", then proceed to explain in detail the intricasies of being Agender
I'm still working out the whole agender thing. I know there's some overlap between non-binary and agender, but for me, I feel like non-binary implies the presence of something that isn't binary, rather than the non-presence of any gender. To paraquote Tyrion Lannister, "I am not questioning my gender, I am denying its existence."
I vaguely remember some things from my childhood that were hints that I was nonbinary but didn’t know what that meant at the time. Also I was one of the people who went into quarantine cis and came out (transmasc) nonbinary, after being left alone with my own thoughts and forced to face the facts lol. Luckily my boyfriend is extremely supportive of me too! - Feeling extremely awkward and uncomfortable when told to, “Act like a lady.” - Having all male oc’s, my main oc of which was an androgynous man. - Sobbing when I found out I had to wear a bra for the rest of my booba’s life (I plan to get top surgery eventually) - Crying when I had my first period because it felt like it shouldn’t be happening, crying even harder when I was told like two years ago that birth control doesn’t stop your period altogether - Always being the ‘boy’ on the playground when playing pretend and being very upset when I couldn’t be And many other things. These are just a few. Also they’re out of order in like, time I experienced those things, I just wrote them down as they came to me.
3:43 that’s the general consensus. We had time to think about ourselves, and we spent more time online and saw new perspectives. Quarantine also gave us privacy and space to experiment and explore. Also, stress encouraged us to seek out others like us. I was a cracking egg before quarantine, and now two years later I’m openly nonbinary at school. This channel and others like it helped too :) thank you
