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So I am agender and after coming out to my mum she's started yelling "agenders assemble!" whenever I walk into a room. A bit startling but at least she accepts me :)
My wife realized that she is trans in her 40s. She went to Human Resources at work, told them of her name change and pronouns, and everything was fine at work. Only one person misgendered her, and they had to go to Human Resources for harassment. All of our friends accepted her, all of our family accepted her (which surprised us), and of course I accepted her. We realize that this is not the normal experience of trans people, and we feel very privileged because of that. Just thought I’d share.
almost the epitome of the way things should be, and even when one person misgendered her, it was dealt with immediately! more than the best we can hope for today, i’m so happy for her!
@@stormhunter2627 Seriously, this should be like a case study for "Social Transition/Gender Recognition" in any current society. And personally, I hope in the future that gender won't even be a thing that affects our pronouns or our employment records.
It's been similar for me! I came out to my whole family (including loads of people over 80), my school, my complete social surroundings and never got a bad reaction once. I never got misgendered on purpose. The only bad experiences I had were with therapists, ironically, and I noped out of there real fast
I don't mean to be offensive with this question: was your wife previously referred to as your "husband"? I ask because I am in the early stages of a transition (mtf), and I really don't know how that ought to work, linguistically. How our child should refer to me is even more perplexing.
@@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos , trans people are always referred to by their actual gender, even if it’s in the past. But yes, she’s m2f. Our child and grandkids call her mother and grandma (I’m mom, grandmommy , and grandmother.) Hope that helps!
Yeah, I'm non binary and I don't like going to school unless I have my men's deodorant and women's perfume on. Sometimes hate the fact my white shirts are 'mens shirts' other times it's the only reason I wear it.
I’m nb ftm, and I love fashion. I have a really hard time clothes shopping because I usually prefer the style of women’s clothes, but I want the gender euphoria of wearing men’s clothes lol
Me 48 years old for 30 plus years “I feel so gender neutral, not like a girl or a boy.” One random thought “isn’t that basically non-binary”. Me: shocked meme face.
Does that mean it's a thought you've had since you were 18, or are you 78? >_> Funny ambiguous phrasing. Either way, good for you discovering more about yourself :) That does indeed sound like nb, and having a term for a thing makes it so much more searchable and discoverable, good luck!
@@emdivine since I was in my teens I have known that I was bi and described myself as gender neutral. I am 48 now and for the first time equating “gender neutral” with non binary.
Fun piece of trans history for you that I don't think people know about. The first doctor to perform a successful caesarean section where both mother and baby survive was performed by a Trans man. A guy called Dr James Barry was a trans man. He was born female but he lived as a man all his adult life. He worked for years as a surgeon and army doctor and while stationed in Africa in the 1820's he performed the first successful C Section where both mother and baby survived and the baby was names James after him. My mum did a paper on Dr James Barry as part of her history degree and I think he is an interesting figure. It was rumoured that he was Intersex but this was never confirmed.
along with that, he passed as a man in public all the way until his death where his wishes were denied to be covered in cloths through the procession and everyone found out he was born as a woman. he was such a good doctor and i hadn’t ever heard of him until last year. i think even in the newspaper obituary they called him a woman. which is so awful :/
I've never researched their life, and we all know how past historians can't always be trusted, but from what I know they wanted to study and work as a doctor, but couldn't do so as a female, and that's why they lived the rest of their days as a male
I want to share this funny moment with you. I am bigender (male + female) and one time I was outside and went to a random pub to use the bathroom, and for some reason I found that there were two doors, but one was labeled "gents", and the other was "gents & ladies" (turned out there was the third door for "ladies" I just didn't notice lol) so I was super confused but essentially I laughed at how accidentally they made a bathroom as if specifically for me, because I'm both lol Edit: so glad to see so many fellow bigender people, I didn't actually expect that! Y'all are valid and wonderful (✿^‿^) Also probably don't look in the comments if you don't want to see transphobia
Trans tortoise here. Came out at 45. As an egg I kept polling myself and others about how long they'd choose to be the opposite sex if they had a magic wand. You get to decide how long but you can't change your mind. You have to stay that way for that duration you picked and you can't then choose to stay the new sex. So one day, one year, 5 years. My answer to myself was always 20 years to life. When I asked other people almost ALL of them said they wouldn't change sex for even ONE DAY!?! I was utterly shocked. After getting that sort of answer from dozens of people I finally acknowledged that I was different. Interestingly, before I came out and it was just a hypothetical game, everyone was cool with my answer. And then I came out, started HRT and got top surgery. Suddenly everyone was far less cool with my less than hypothetical decision. lol
Omg, trans tortoise sounds so cute!! Seriously I'm pretty sure I'm cis, and I would absolutely switch sex for one day, or even a week. Just to know how it feels like to walk in somebody else's shoes. Like, I wanna try all the masculine privilege, and see for myself how people will react. I wanna walk the streets and see if people still stare, I wanna party and know how it's feels to not get touched or flirted to death by people who just won't take a no. I don't feel like a man, but I think I would be a good one. Maybe I wouldn't mind. I don't know. But being myself right now is pretty awesome. I hope you live your best tortoise life possible! Wish you all the best ♥️
That's so cool. I'm thinking about how I would have answered before I figured out I was nonbinary. I probably would have said something like a year to 5 years. Makes sense, I guess. But maybe there are some cis peeps out there that differ. Or maybe... they have yet to discover they are indeed not cisgender.
@@schokoloko2092 I think if you found a trans guy who passes and is happy to share his experiences and answer questions, you'd probably find some at least vague answers to your questions! (don't look at me though, I'm a neurodivergent trans guy and it took me like 10 years to realize that not having a resting bitchface on while I make eye contact (my dad trained me to do that as part of his accidental how to mask 101 that he handed me from his own undiagnosed neurodiversity experiences) gets misinterpreted as a come-on for some reason by some straight people when it's someone AFAB who does it.)
@@schokoloko2092 I'm 1 year on T and starting to pass in casual interactions. Male privilege is massive. I sometimes feel invisible because people *look* at women... all the time. And they don't with guys. I'm also a bigger guy and my body concerns virtually evaporated once I started really feeling like a man. Obviously dysphoria disappeared but concerns about my weight and always worrying about looking as thin and "cute" as possible also disappeared. An odd one I've noticed is that people are less pleasant to me but I also get way better customer service. Also people don't argue with me. Like if something is wrong on a bill I don't have to spend 10 minutes explaining and convincing. They just look and then fix it. I also feel 1000% safer walking around at night. The list is endless. (N.B. I am white and able bodied. So I experience multiple levels of privilege. A trans guy who is a person of colour or has a disability would assuredly experience more negativity.)
"If being trans is real, why aren't there any records of you until recently?" There was an Egyptian tomb found where a 'man' was buried in a tomb that the Egyptians used specifically for women, and historians were like "oh they probably messed up". Egyptians. Messing up a burial. ?????????
@Vergilius Brutus I found one on Livescience titled “never-before-seen ‘mud-mummy’ from Egypt discovered in wrong coffin”. In this case, the reasoning given for thinking it was put in the wrong coffin is that the body is older than the coffin it was found in, and that there’s a well-known trick in the antiques trade in the area of placing random mummies in random coffins in order to “sell a more-complete ‘set’”. I remember looking up a specific article a while ago, and generally the finger pointing is done at grave robbers and traders rather than assuming the freaking /Egyptians/ messed up a burial. So in a lot cases, it seems to be a bit more nuanced. There is absolutely trans/GNC erasure in Egyptian history though. Ever hear of her majesty the King, Pharaoh Hatshepsut? I certainly didn’t until I stumbled upon her a few months ago. I can’t remember her full story off the top of my head, but it’s really cool. She was one of Egypt’s best pharaohs, but insisted on taking male titles and wearing male clothes.
I remember seeing on the news that a lady almost got arrested for being in the women's restroom bc she was a masculine dressing lesbian. Someone had actually called the cops on her saying that there was man trying peep in the women's restroom! The cops got there and asked for ID and then left. Edit: worse than I remember. Google North Carolina lesbian kicked out of women's restroom.
They should have arrested the transphobe for harassment and not minding their own damned business. Really, there needs to be laws about minding your own damned business. Create a prison for Karens and all the guards have the title Manager.
Seriously. Also, they forget lesbians and straight transwomen exist ... they're not ok with what they perceive to be a 'man' because of the fear of sexual asault ... yet they're fine stripping in front of lesbians ... and forget some transwomen are attracted to men and not even looking at them that way
@@willh2690 Also, no one managing the prison will mean complete chaos and the Karens will constantly have immense emotional pressure and no way to release it. Exposition therapy. I give the most extreme Karens a month before they beg for forgiveness.
I take pleasure in being ambiguous. Born intersex, raised female (went to Brownies and Girl Guides!), now go by he/they pronouns. My hair is longer (past the bottom of my shoulder blades) now than it ever was as a child, and I do more with it as a transmasc guy now than I EVER did as an AFAB person. I also wear an impressive beard, so gender norms can go fall off a cliff with the rest of the lemmings.
i relate to this! i'm intersex too and i hope to go on t at the end of this year and when i do i'm planning to grow my hair out a lot and wear it in funky braids
I just remembered the first time I heard what Trans was. My mom was telling me about and old friend of hers, saying "She used to be called (Masc Deadname) but now her name is (Name)," *shows picture* "doesn't she look cute?" I was confused but forgot about it until just now actually. I was just like "oh that's cool"
and yet people are trying to accuse trans people of being groomers and saying that children won’t understand. if only people realized that CHILDREN UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE TAUGHT and that it wouldn’t be confusing TO CHILDREN WHO WERE JUST TAUGHT THAT IT WAS NORMAL because it is. so glad you were raised this way, and hopeful that that is our near future
@@RaineBans oof, I feel that. I'm also an enby and I'm constantly called she/her, lady, girlie, ma'am etc which is fine by strangers, and people Im not out to... but even the ones I'm out to do it. Asked my brother to call me sibling, sib, or even bro and he be like "Hey, what's my sister up to?"
@@DinosaurNick i feel like enbies get misgendered more often than binary trans people. im androgynous and i dont need hrt so people think im cis. they dont understand enbies are trans too because we usually dont change much of our appearance. i have long hair, wear eyeliner and tight pants and thats it. im currently working on my fem voice to seem more trans. i dunno if that makes sense
bro oh my god i relate to this so much even tho i have supportive friends and family who use the right pronouns for me, it still sucks when strangers dont, even though it shouldnt matter it kinda does to me, im thinking of cutting my hair short to make myself look more andro but im very afraid of how that'll look,, so im just sticking with long hair for now
"it's useless transition in your 20s" (6:03) all of the trans people in the last generation or older who literally paved the way for us to be able to transition today:
I was 20 in 1985, no way would they let me. If you could not pass pre-hormones and did not want a husband 2.5 adopted kids and to be a housewife. you were screwed. An old straight guy got to decide your validity or you were out of luck. I lucked out. I got my surgery letters in 2000 when I was 35 from two lesbian feminists who felt not liking men was not an impediment, Even then, the "gender clinics" most people had to use had a review board you had to pass "appearance and presentation" and maybe in 5-10 years you got approved. I have heard this not valid crap. Easy to say when its not your life.
Wholesome experience below: I'd just got on T and I went to the men's loo at a train station. There was a guy in there who looked kind of tough, and he started saying "This is the men's loo" at me, so I closed the cubicle door in his face. He then left me alone, I pee, then head back to the platform. Then I see him make eye contact with me, and start coming towards me. I try to stare him down, reassuring myself that he'd be an idiot to make a scene as it's too crowded. He comes right up to me as if to square me up, and then his frown softens and he says, "I'm sorry. I didn't realise." I said "That's OK" but still tried to keep the tough facade, but I was so shocked by this sudden change of heart.
@@alex_blue5802 I had an unexpected amount of crisis about my plushie collection and my love of shiny glittery metallic pens until a cis guy confessed that he has his own plushies and my insecurity is a part of the Man Experience. Weirdly that's made me feel a lot better about the fact that it's apparently just a man thing to like soft cuddleable things and to also guard the secret of its existence jealously like it's a fuzzy ark of the manly covenant.
We call it the phase. After you come out its not unusual to just roll around in everything gendered you were not allowed to have before. In 1-4 years it wears off and you find a base level. By the time it ended for me I had a startling number of Barbies. Gave away over 100. Still have a shelf with a half dozen.
"Have you really thought this through?" is such an innocent-sounding question but it seems to be extremely common for trans or questioning people to *heavily* doubt themselves, so they end up thinking about their gender and identity more than is probably healthy. Having all that just casually dismissed is extremely frustrating.
Yeah, especially when it’s a doctor. You’d think that people in the medical field would be more knowing that people think about stuff a lot before bringing it to a doctor, but I guess not.
@@DanaTheInsane This☝️ This is the correct answer to the, "But are you sure you've thought this through?" Hmm… "Only every waking moment…" might be a better phrase to start with.
@@John_Weiss Oh it would slip my mind when I was getting beaten or running for my life. That happened a lot. Trying not to get killed is very focusing.
every transphobe at me: DONT RUSH ANYTHING, YOU MIGHT REGRET IT me, ready to transition after 4 years of self-searching and analysing my feelings but now doubting myself bc ppl have forced me to when it comes to my trans identity: *oh*
Screw them. Transition at your own pace, whatever that may be. And relish it. There's no reason to rush and no reason to delay. And for those transphobes, transition, even medical, doesn't happen overnight. I started HRT as a microdose (about 25% of what's considered a "full" dose) and then crept up from there. The changes came at a pace where if I'd felt uncomfortable I could have stopped. Of course I didn't and somewhere between 92 and 98.5% of people who start never regret it.
Shouldn't they ask about the timeline to decide if you're really rushing anything? Or maybe what they really mean is "don't do anything that would make be uncomfortable".
@@alex_blue5802 The other thing to remember is when you come out, people see it as an overnight thing. They haven't seen the likely *years* of struggle and self analysis that lead to coming out. Even though I told everyone that I'd figured out I wasn't cis 5 years earlier they didn't really hear. They just saw one day cis, the next day trans. Don't know of any real solution to this problem. I'd also say that at least in my life, people saying "don't rush" actually meant "don't do at all." I could have waited another 5 years and I'm certain I still would have people telling me not to rush.
I fall under the trans umbrella of being a demiwoman. I've identified as cis for most of my life, but felt comfortable enough with it that I never questioned it. Then when I started learning about all these different identities, I started looking into if I could be one of them (I think I was around early twenties). It wasn't until I stumbled upon the term demiwoman a couple years later that I felt a connection. However long it takes, you choose what you feel most comfortable with and don't let other people define it for you. It's YOUR body, YOU live in it, not anyone else. Don't let people tell you how to decorate your "home", if you get what I mean. 😂 Take the time you need and find people who'll support you. It'll help tremendously.
When I first came out to my sibling, they laughed. When I came out to my grandma, she understood and accepted me. To this day, my sibling has not called me my chosen name, and my grandma made the switch instantly. My sibling is still getting used to me being a boy. I hope they come around some day.
I’m getting ready to come out to my grandparents soon. I’m pretty scared, but hopeful. I hope they are as cool as your grandma is:) I’m sorry your sibling hasn’t been very accepting:( I’m sure that’s really difficult. I hope they will come around eventually. Sending positive vibes! Much love, friend!:) 💜
9:33 Im constantly criticizing this part of society when I spent 10 days happily telling all my friends over and over again that my mom had bought me "men shampoo" 😭
Sometimes it's the small things that make you happy. When I (enby afab) recently discovered that my favourite bookstore's website had added "enby" as a way to be adressed (for ordered books) I couldn't stop smiling for an hour. And every time I think about it I start being happy and smiling again. (I haven't even ordered something since then and that tiny change is only about a few small letters on an envelope but still... 😀)
I love how some people say others who are 30+ just shouldn’t transition because it’s too late but then they turn around and tell trans kids (8-15) that they’re too young to understand themselves. Like.. pick a side please bro. 💀
Years ago when I was 16, having been denied puberty blockers and gone through the wrong puberty, I was told I was now too old to ever be "a real man" because I had hips. The age thing works in whatever way it denies trans humanity.
@@astaiannymph I forgot that men's legs are connected to their ribs. "You have hips" my cis younger brother has more defined hips than me. Jfc, wherever told you men can't have hips gets sent to the gulag. Hope things are getting better for you.
Somewhat similar to how the transphobes say, "You'll never be a real woman because you never experienced being a girl." OK, then, let kids socially transition, and go on puberty blockers, and then they can grow up as a girl. But no, transphobes don't want that, either.
Trans guys: *looking for every hair that can grow on their face and celebrating when they find it*. me , a trans gal, *meticulously searching my face for every single microscopic hair that dares to show itself after countless hours of electrolysis and laser hair removal*. 🥴
Yes! Even after shaving I spot hairs and I just have the urge to shave again. I know if I don't control myself I'll go until it's gone gone and that would be a little bit too deep. I want my skin, just not the hair. My long hair though? Keep forever!
As a post-menopausal woman I can assure you that facial hair is a perfectly normal female thing. I search out and pluck mine but I once went on holiday with a group that included a 60+ lady who sported a scanty beard of inch-long curly white hairs which she totally rocked with bright red lipstick. Hormones play by their own rules and no two people are the same except monozygotic twins, and even then environmental factors get in the way.
@@missharry5727 my grandmother is a bio woman and she has a full on bushy mustache no one says anything about it and she's had it as long as I can remember
My family used to have separate soaps (or shower gels) for my mom and I, snd my dad and my brother. Mom and I always had some pretty, floral bottle, and I secretly really didn't like the scents. I used the "man soap" quite often, always feeling I was doing something wrong not using the girly soap. It's really insane how these gender roles reach every little corner of our existence.
Doctor Bronner's Peppermint soap! A wakeup slap for men and women alike. full of peppermint oil. Like the song says "Doctor Bronners makes your Hoo hoo tingle"
I have body wash and non scented soap. Scented things give me yeast infections, so I use the unscented down there, but I do love different types of body wash and soaps.
I work at a outdoor school and I always ask the kids if they would like to share their pronouns. Yesterday one of my kids squealed and declared she was so excited for this. 3 of my kids left me notes that they were so happy that I asked and respected their pronoun choices. It made me so happy. They have all been working so hard on making sure they get mine and my they/them coworkers pronouns right.
Cis people are so full of opinions towards trans people. When I was tweeting my questioning journey I received a lot of "it's okay to be cis!", "we are good allys, the trans community needs it!" and dismissing the situations I related "Oh, I'm cis and I passed through this as well, it's okay, it don't means you aren't cis". It gave me a lot of impostor syndrome (and questioning being nonbinary has already a LOT of impostor syndrome to deal with). I know binary trans people gets a lot more to deal with, of course.
Seriously, allies need to learn rule number one: Allies STFU and sit TF down. That rule is made SPECIFICALLY for this kind of situation, when allies start talking over the actual minority they try to be allies to. Like we fuckin' know, Becky, that it's okay to be cis. Society grokkin' shoves cisheteronormativity down everyone's throats. Now shut tf up and let the gender-seeker seek in peace, gdi. (Allies can start talking when someone detransition to help keep that detrans peep away from the shitty gender-criticals who just use and exploit and recruit them into their little hatecult. THAT'S a place where the cis allies really should speak up more. Welcome one of yours back into your fold, guys, and call out anyone who invalidates that person. ESPECIALLY call out the "I told you you weren't trans and you were just doing it for attention" and the "you're a traitor to all the real trans people!" BS.)
If you ever start doubting yourself again, I'd say two things. I've never met a cis person who has genuinely questioned their gender identity. Also, (I can't remember where I saw this, it may have been in one of Jamie's videos, but I'm not positive) there's a lot of focus on gender dysphoria and not on euphoria. EG I use she/they pronouns and I don't feel bad when people refer to me as a woman, but I get stupidly happy when someone refers to me in a gender neutral way or when enbys get casually included.
@@amelieg246 Thank you so much 🥰 Yeah, I really didn't have much dysphoria in my life (I'm 30), a lot of people talks about how they knew they were a different gender since childhood but it didn't bother me to be in the "girls" side because I thought I HAD to be in the binary. Finding my label gave me a lot of euphoria.
As a cis person, screw those other cis people. It’s okay to question yourself, it is okay to be trans, it is okay to end up with whatever label you feel like, it is okay to be YOU
Just thought I would tell you how my younger sister "came out" as Trans before even knowing Trans was a thing 😆. She just said she was a girl. Later I was saying how all of us kids are Trans/non binary and then saw how she looked a bit confused and ask "do you know what Trans is?" Then are older sibling explained and she was just like "ooohh. Hello I'm Trans." It was kinda validating to she how she still felt the same despite not knowing the terms :)
I tried to switch genders with a kid in my 1st grade class. I "wanted to be a boy" and he "wanted to be a girl". Really makes me think about what life would be like if we had the language and representation then that we do now.
That's one of the things that made me doubt I was trans. I never actually said, "I'm a girl." I would think things like, "I wish I was a girl", or even "I was meant to have been a girl." But I always thought that I was, in fact, a boy, even though it felt wrong.
@@electronics-girlbeing trans is defined by the incongruence between your internal identity and your body/external presentation. A man wants and takes joy in being a man. A woman wants and takes joy in being a woman. If you want to be a woman and want it enough that you also want to take steps to become a woman, then you are a woman. Full stop.
hello random funny trans story here, felt like sharing out of nowhere a few months ago, i somehow got covid (even tho i almost never go outside, like how), when my dad was making the call for a test appointment he called me his ''child'' and used they/them for me (shoutout to my dad for that), the woman on the phone eventually had to ask how old i was, and she just went ''so how old is the uhhh..... child?'' she was obviously confused as to what gender i was, it was amusing really
Years and years before I knew I'm genderfluid (afab person here)I was on vacation and a boy adressed me as "Sir". It startled me then but after a while I found it funny and I told my family and friends about it. They were all taken aback or even "defending" me in a strange way. The more I thought about it, though, the better being addressed that way felt. In retrospect I know it was gender euphoria while still being an egg. XD
To every person who started or is starting HRT and didn't get a good reaction from their cis friends/family, I'd like to be the cis friend who tells you that I love you, that is amazing, I'm so glad you were able to get the healthcare you need, and I'm so excited for you!!!! 💜
I came out to my close family as trans and nonbinary almost 5 months ago, they were super supportive and adjusted to my new name and pronouns very quickly, and now they pretty much never misgender me. my parents bought me binders, and now they're going to help me get my name and gender legally changed. I've talked to them about getting top surgery in the future and they were supportive of that too. I'm just so thankful to have such an amazing family and wanted to share the good vibes 😊
A few of these reminded me of stuff like back in 2013-2015, I lived in an apartment with some friends & I was still questioning a lot & one of them was like, “why don’t you talk to your mom about this stuff? She seems like a super understanding person who would get it & be able to help you.” I then just told her it’s not like that & didn’t bother explaining it because I didn’t know how to explain it but after time has passed, I realized the things I was afraid of with discussing it with her because of various things that happened, for example, she looked like she was about to have a heart attack when I ordered a binder & had it delivered to my parents’ place, she asked me what it was when I was opening it & I casually responded with “a binder” & god, I couldn’t tell what the hell that reaction was but it didn’t look good. I then pulled my CARD binder for placing Pokémon CARDS into & she took her hand off her chest & relaxed, even heard a sigh of relief come out of her but I pretended to not notice. Another thing is one of my sister’s biological siblings came out as trans. Both my sister & I were adopted from birth from different families, my sister’s biological family has reached out to her (mine hasn’t, unsure if they care to) & she has a mtf sister who did come out as trans & whenever the topic of biological families comes up in conversation which isn’t often but it does happen, my mom can’t stop talking about her sister & keeps using male pronouns when referring to her & she talks about it in a way that, hmm, how do I explain this? Ah! I have a friend who has cancer & whenever I talk about this friend like “yesterday she showed me a video of an otter” or something completely unrelated to the fact she has cancer, my mom will immediately go on asking about her condition & going on saying how it’s unfair someone as young as 30 would get cancer & blah blah blah. You know, the one relative that hyper focuses on a thing like that & won’t stop talking about it whenever the topic of that person comes up & mentions how they’re so brave & how life can be cruel? Yeah, that’s about the same for the trans sister. Another thing is when it comes to people she knows, she gets an idea of that person & who they are & is convinced they’re not any other way & hates being told she’s wrong. She also is closed minded & tends to see things more black & white like this thing is this way & to say it has qualities of this other thing would be contradictory like let’s say I came out as ace to her which I am, she’d be like “so you’ll never date ever?” What she wouldn’t get is the fact that I’m also panromantic, she just wouldn’t get it, I think the concept of bi people breaks her mind too. She thinks my bi best friend who is far more into women than men is straight because she married a man, my mom is that kind of person. So yeah, explaining my sexuality would be too difficult because my romantic interest doesn’t align & don’t even try explaining the fact I’m non-binary, she would not get it at all. My mom was always seen as the cool, understanding mom by my friends because they don’t know what she’s like behind closed doors, she’s the person who always use to give rides when growing up, would volunteer a lot at school, & back in the 2000’s when we were kids, she’d play whatever music was hot when my friends were in the car, you know, boy bands, Britney Spears, & stuff like that? She also had Grammy Nominee 2000 CD which has songs like Smooth, I need to Know, & Mambo Number 5 on it. The kids thought she was the cool mom but eh, she very much isn’t. Even as an adult she kept up the cool mom act & hey, a lot of it is genuine like when my roommate broke her foot, my mom did everything she could to help her out.
I had similar struggles with my mom, though there weren't any transgender people she talked about before I came out. Before I continue I want to say that I believe my case is the exception. My mom also can't handle being wrong. When I was a kid, like a lot of transgender people, I insisted I was a boy, called myself a boy, put things in my pants to act like I had a penis, even tried to pee standing up a few times. She told me that I was "a tomboy like her". And it faded off around age 8 because, that's just how it goes. I thought that if I told her I was transgender, she would be embarassed that I had been very clearly transgender all along. Thankfully though, she totally forgot about all of that. Like I said, she didn't talk much about transgender people before I came out, but the few times I had heard that it had been icky views. Again, luckily, it turns out that her icky views were just the only ones she felt she needed to express, and also after just a little bit of talking to she understood better (best example I have is her being against puberty blockers, but apparently she somehow got it into her head that puberty blockers meant all medical stuff for trans people, just for minors. Like she literally thought "a child is on puberty blockers" meant that they were getting a sex reassignment surgery, top surgery if the child was AFAB, and HRT. When she found out it wasn't, she was a lot more accepting of them) Finally, I cried when I came out to her. I also didn't have a name picked out and wasn't sure of what pronouns I wanted**, so I think it gave her a good adjustment period and my crying prompted her to really think about what she did about the situation. Since then she has taken what I tell her about trans issues to heart and has even seeked out trans media on her own (I know this because she made a joke about eggs, when I've never talked to her about that) **Bonus story: The reason why I came out so quickly is because I tried to come out to my grandmother as bisexual, I ended up getting shy and backing out, told myself I would come out next visit, and she straight up just fucking died before I saw her again. Then I found out I wasn't cis less than 6 months later and came out after less than a week because I never wanted that to happen again.
One of my friends started taking medicine for her transition and I just warned her "Prepare to feel all of the things" because estrogen is a helpful bully that will make you cry.
Totally! I joke that my poor husband will have to deal with perimenopausal me and a teen starting HRT and going through puberty again. Going to be a rough year or two there LOL.
I was already a huge crybaby before I started E but holy CRAP was I not prepared for the waterworks. To be fair I don't actually mind, I actually quite like it, but it was a LOT.
@@Tesseract_King It was so long ago, I don't remember, though I am sure I was all sorts of a spit fire. I will be there with ice cream, chocolate, and tissues for my daughter when the need arises.
1:57 Reminds me of the speaker who came to our work on TDOV to talk about his transition, and part of his presentation was a timeline of photos through his transition and he pointed out “So you will see my beard slowly growing in on the photos…….but I also want you to keep an eye on my hairline too”. There was a slow recession of his hairline over time. He liked to share that. He also that as his body fat was redistributing itself to other areas of his body, he woke up one day with one hip still there, and the other had disappeared round to his tummy. He told us all of this with humour as he wanted to share some of the surprising physical changes he hadn’t expected
8:30 I don't know if it's because you don't understand the meme format but basically the meme is saying: 1) ppl who drink monster energy say "this is tasty" and "woah im so hyper" 2) ppl who drink the monster energy drink is trans so its a joke about the type of ppl who drink monster energy drinks
Fun fact, I found out today that the medication I'm taking to manage my autoimmune disorder is a form of HRT. So you can be cis and on HRT that has no (direct) link to gender.
3:20 I got half a phd in trans history and I’m so glad you’re talking about the Nazi burning of the Research Institute! It wasn’t a perfect place, but it did contain collected letters from queer people, diagnostics, early forms of WPATH, media references, legislation proposals through the WhK party in Germany, etc. so yeah. Glad to hear you mention.
3:40 when I told my cishet friend I was nb and used they/he, she said “Is this another one of your 3am ideas?” …. 😭 come on, man! No, no it’s not. Actually it took a long time to figure this out and a lot of courage to tell you this, so please don’t spoil this
The meme about coming out at 41…I waited until I was 40 to get my first tattoo, I had people tell me I should really think it through to make sure I really wanted it. I’d been wanting one since I was a teen…yeah. People will always give their opinion, wanted or not. 😒
What I have realized when cis people are so worried about trans women in bathrooms when they shouldn't be maybe there is a major problem with the BATHROOM STALLS THAT Don't LOCK WELL AND HAVE VERY LARGE GAPS. Maybe we should fix the bathrooms that don't give anyone privacy or safety from anyone in the bathroom
The gaps are that cleaning stuff can clean better and more efficiently. Airplane and train style toilet would solve this problem btw. Every stall unisex, with their own washroom. At least for public toilets this would be a solution.
The senator one put me in mind of Owen Hurcum, the mayor of Bangor in Wales. They are the first nonbinary mayor and have an amazing t shirt that says "them / them / the mayor"
im a trans guy, and named myself jamie after you (my acount name is my deadname). i did it because you have helped me so much with my journey and self-acceptance edit: changed my account name lol
@Miles (he him) I think you can change your RU-vid name separately from the rest of your Google account, since the name here is essentially the name of your RU-vid channel, even if you aren’t a creator, and your RU-vid channel isn’t discoverable by your email address, I believe. On the account I’m using right now, my name here on RU-vid is my chosen name, but the name on the rest of my Google account is my deadname so people I’m not out to yet don’t know. Just FYI for anyone that might be hesitant to change their name on RU-vid:)
@@theonearoace this is so relatable lmao, I changed mine after more than a year of being out because I was too lazy. I only changed it because I started seeing more comments where people would use the username outside of replying, and I was like "no"
After talking to one of the only other 2 trans kids at my school a few days ago about wanting to come out as agender, and in their case non-binary, but being afraid of getting hate crimed cause we live in the middle of the Bible Belt, this was really uplifting to see so many people being themselves and being proud
I came out nearly 3 years ago, but I have a lot of anxiety about shopping for clothes. My pants all finally fell apart and I had to go shopping. Now I have 3 pairs of men's pants! They feel amazing!
@@kespblaze8560 I’m cishet girlie girl. If I’d been AMAB and always felt the way I do, I know I’ve had gloried in gendered products, at least for a while. I imagine for some it becomes a more mundane topic over time.
I have always only used the "men's" razors, because my mom taught me to, and this is even back when we thought I was a cis girl. I just want razors that are good. 🤷🏼
*goes to research Institute of Sexology* It was the first trans clinic and in some ways, was more progressive than how we think about trans people today. The founder was a gay Jewish man who wanted to help and support trans and GNC people, Magnus Hirschfeld. The first gender affirming surgery took place there, on a trans women, Lili. The film “The Danish Girl” is based on her. It was the largest and first book burning by Hitlers Nazis and a lot of the records cannot be recovered. The founders tried to start a similar institute after the war ended but were unable to, due to complicated life circumstances and early deaths.
Good trans videos makes the day better. Need more positive trans memes in my life especially as I'm too scared to tell most of my family and those who know either forget or act like me not saying it everyday means I'm not trans. Luckily friends got my back.
The turtle meme is sooo true... I've just come out as a trans guy and I'm 45... and all I can hear around me is: "don't rush it". Well, indeed, that's what I call "not rushing it", I mean it took me 45 years to figure it out. How slow should I go now??
It's never too late to figure yourself out, my dude. And you're definitely not rushing it. You got here in your own time, and it sounds to me that the people around you need to explore themselves a bit more. It's really something to look yourself in the mirror on good days and not feel wrong. I hope that they understand that one day.
@@agoosed3281 Thanks a lot! Anyway, I won't listen to any cis advice, they are not concerned at all, so I keep on doing what I feel good for myself. I've spent my life being afraid of what the others may think of me, now I really don't care anymore. The only person qualified to judge my life is me... And thanks to Jammie to be so wholesome and funny! It lifts me up everytime!
@@mariaconnell610 it feels like a hedgehog hugging your face too. or maybe its just my ethnicity's hair thickness. if any men wanna correct me go ahead. do you already have a beard btw?
Guys i just got my first haircut!!! Im genderfluid, trans masc, and i just got my first haircut. Im very happy with it. I just wanted to share this with someone. 🙂
I've personally been drinking Monster Ultra for years, and so do many of the other trans folks I know. It's like our iconic drink, at least here in the states
I was looking to see if anyone mentioned this. Monster energy drinks are almost universally adored by trans femmes in the US. I've known at least ten besides myself and I'm the only one who doesn't love drinking them. It's one of the biggest in jokes in the trans community here -- that and being into computers, especially computer programming.
When I was working a crazy hour job as a trans girl pretending to be a guy I used to live off the white monster energies, 12 hour+ shifts surrounded by disgustingly misogynistic men while not being able to be the woman I wanted to be did an absolute number on my mental health, not to mention estrogen making me weak af so lifting and pushing anything heavy was near impossible and I needed help, but those white monsters got me through it, so the meme was at least very funny to me lol
I just want to take a moment to thank you Jamie because, I didnt know it when I first started watching your videos but my best friend is trans. Today he came out to me and asked me to call him by his chosen name. Thanks to the content you post, its helped me to understand more about what mabye he is going through and what I can do to help him be himself. Thank you so much, from all the people you have helped 😁🏳️🌈
That made my day 100 times better man- some positivity of Jamie is like some goddess taking you in their arms and telling you that you can have and do and be anything what you want-
Speaking of liberal family members, my father tries to be supportive, but sometimes doesn't think about what he's saying. During one conversation, he told me, "Well don't change anything you plan on using later." I reminded him that I'm asexual, and I never wanted to have children. So then he responded, "But if you're asexual, why do you have to change anything at all?" I had to remind him that sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression are all different things. At least we're getting somewhere.
If it wasn't for my chest fat, I'd be questioned so much more... Amusingly (maybe?), you can tell how old a military base is based on if there's urinals in the women's bathroom.
That suddenly reminded me of the first time I used a gender neutral bathroom, it was on a military base in the very early 80s, when I was a Sea Cadet (think Navy for kids too young to sign up).
the meme about the chromosome reminds me of this hilarious classic children's book we have in Italy, Extraterrestrial exchange student by Pitzorno. this alien exchange student who grows in three years like a human does in one is like a ten year old human kid is but will only get a physical sex/a gender when they are fifty years old and in their reproductive age, as an adult. the only way to know their gender before is to sequence their genome or do whatever most complicated long genetic thing they could do since this book is from the 70s. The alien kid comes to Earth as an exchange student to live for a long time because of when the planets are close enough to travel, and goes to a family, a mum and dad with no kids and they have a full on existential crises because it takes months to sequence the genome like only one scientist on earth knows the alien genome and he was on holiday and they don't know the kid's gender. The point of this book is to show the toxic gender roles, oppression of women and mysoginy of the time and I didn't know it was that bad before I read it, what struck me the most is them allowing a boy toddler to hit and not a girl toddler causing constant crying and problems but there's lots of stuff. They end up deciding the alien is a boy and he mostly likes it except for being shocked at the violence of some kids and lack of communication and having to hide his dolls because they were going to throw them out, he's shocked by other men's behaviour like when there's an emergency and they are left alone with the baby and no one will take care of it but him but he can mostly do his thing, but when months later they get the test that it's a girl she really gets to see the differences and the oppression of women. it's really cool!
CIS straight female here and just wanted to say how much I appreciate this channel. Not only are the memes funny to hear, but it's nice to be more educated to become a better ally. I've learned some things since watching this channel about what is and what is not okay to say, and I thank you for it. I use this knowledge to also help my mum, who can sometimes be outdated with things she says. Keep it up :)
Super short haired cis lesbian who lives in jeans and hoodies here - I’ve been questioned about my right to be in the ladies toilets more than once in my life 🙄
That Mickey/Donald comic should be the other way 'round! According to the folks writing the new version of Ducktales, Donald is canonically trans! He and his sister Della came from the same egg, therefore they're identical twins. Della is able to lay eggs (that's how we got Huey, Dewey, and Louie), and is therefore a cis female duck. As her identical twin that would mean Donald was AFAB; but he uses he/him pronouns, as do his family when addressing him. QED, Donald Duck is a trans dude! I love the new Ducktales so much! I'm sad that it's over. 😍😭
just felt like sharing a trans story,, it’s so jarring when I get called “she” at school. I’m out to all my friends and they find it weird too. It’s funny because I’ve made such an effort to NOT look like a girl and yet everyone still treats me like one. (then again I have the right to not look like a girl and still be one but I cut my hair and wear trousers for a reason alright!!)
I honestly don't understand the Monster graph, but I also never experienced the hyper feeling from drinking them. I could drink two and then fall asleep. Turns out I have ADHD 🤷🏻♀️
your comment may have actually changed my life, I didn't realise feeling tired from caffeine was an adhd trait. now I'm doing a lot of reading and I think I finally have some answers! THANK YOU!!!
I'm always so gutted when your videos finish - I could listen to hours of you reacting to stuff. My chilled pre-bedtime downtime always consists of chuckling to your videos with a cuppa herbal tea 😂💚
Fun story, I have a co-worker who came out in her late 50's she's been transitioning for about a year and a half and already looks cis enough that plenty of people just see her as a woman. She's asked me a lot of advice regarding it because even though I'm like twenty or so years old her junior I have been transitioning for the past decade not always on HRT. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START TO BE YOURSELF. Plus just to mention the idea of "passing" is just outdated and toxic
Earlyyy. Your videos always cheer me up, love you Jamie, been watching you since the beginning and now I'm getting to start my own transition. Thanks for everything
The wait time for medical transition is going to kill me I see how far along you are in your transition and I'm never going to get there I want to give up
Jamie has been doing this for so many years. You can't compare yourself to others. It only hurts you when you do. That goes for everything in life. If I could, I'd hug you and hold your hand for support.
Have faith in yourself. You WILL get there. Do what you can to make yourself comfortable and make friends with your dysphoria. While I was waiting for top surgery every time I felt that dysphoric monkey on my back I did a few things. Acknowledged that it was there and that that is okay to feel that way. And then remind yourself that it's a sign that you are the gender you are. It's proof to yourself that you are trans and that's awesome. You have a super power. But with that super power comes growing pains. Dysphoria is a growing pain on the way to being able express yourself physically in a way that feels right. You'll get there.
Jack you are more of a man than most cis men! Never ever give up. You're a man even without medically transitioning. No one can take that away from you! Every day you get one step closer dude x
@@jacke.7502 (I'm assuming you're UK) If you can afford to go private, GenderGP has worked really well for me - but obviously make sure to research it thoroughly to make sure it's the right option for you! I'm a trans woman so I don't know what the surgery options are like for trans men, but I've got nothing but good things to say about them on the hormones front. The only issue is that you pay full price for the prescriptions rather than standard NHS prices, but that's the cost of avoiding NHS wait times. I started mid pandemic and I'm not even on the waiting list for my local GIC (Leeds) because they've not been accepting new patients for almost 2 years now.
Just wanted to say thank you Jamie! Watching your videos has made me so much more eloquent when talking to people about trans issues. I have more confidence in my arguments and am better able to cite sources.
I am an artist and I drew a really nice and extremely detailed ink drawing of my [quite very] transphobic uncle's dog, who he absolutely adores, for my uncle on Christmas as a way to try and maybe shift his default view of me and bridge the gap. It worked! He was actually really confused at first, but he genuinely loved the drawing and put it up on his bedroom dresser, where it's been ever since. Now he uses my name and pronouns! He still doesn't quite understand it, and I'm sure he still has his biases at home (he's VERY hard to move, politically), but he puts the effort in around me and this has surprised everyone in my family and made me immensely happy.
I've known I was trans for over 20 years (~24 years?), and I've slowly been coming out to people for a few years because I'm not in a safe/supportive area but desperately need to start T, and it seems like *everyone* has a reason why I just need to wait a little longer, and there's "no rush," and I shouldn't do it if society will make my life harder, etc. I just want people who claim to be allies to be actually supportive for once because that just means I'm going to have to do this all alone.
you can do it! sending love and positive vibes your way!:) 💜 I hope you can get to a safer and more accepting place soon. I don’t know your situation, but I know for me personally, living as my true self is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, and no amount of hate, harassment, or discrimination could make me go back to living a lie. It’s really hard, and you might lose a lot, but try to not let others dictate how you live and you’ll gain so much more back. You don’t have to do this alone. There are lots of support systems, and lovely friendly communities online that will accept you with open arms. I’ve found a number of really great discord servers, personally, and they’ve been really great. I hope you can live as yourself soon, and I wish you the best:) 💜
@@lillian4976 thank you so much! Not letting others dictate how I live is so scary, but you're right that it's more rewarding, and I definitely don't want the way other people are treating me to get in the way of being myself as much as possible. I really appreciate your thoughts. ❤
I’m nonbinary and my favourite response to “are you a boy or a girl” is just “no” and it’s my favourite because people just don’t know to respond and they suddenly start to wonder if the question they’re asking even applies
This was another great video ♡ I'm ftm and have been out since I was 17ish (now 28) and I've been waiting for surgery for a very long time. I got a call yesterday saying they had a cancelled appointment and I was top of the list so did I want it for my first chest surgery consultation. Obviously I said yes. Anyway the appointment this afternoon and I'm super excited and nervous and this is exactly the content I needed 😌 Also it is never to late to come out ♡
