Stop explaining yourself to people 

“Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” ― Paulo Coelho

Kelly, as a way of understanding the older guy in the supermarket; I too am an older male who watches your channel/show. Coming from a similar cultural context as you....I "get it" about your journey. What you might not get is that within and without the older experience is that the programming is readily taken to by many....it never did with me, so I understand /understood your take of things when you described it. Practically and personally speaking, you have a great sense of self and your spidey-sense was probably correct about getting away from this person. But this guy grew up thinking the robotic existence of having a house, white picket fence, 2.3 children, living in "good /right" neighborhoods...save till retirement...then kick the bucket.... Is totally embedded in the essence of his being. Then, here you come, totally turning over the paradigms he's religiously believed in all his life. If anything take this away from your interaction with him....you / your life / your lifestyle ...has given him a new view on the possibilities of his own existence and what it could/ can /might be(come). Keep on trucking, my Erstwhile Sprite....best regards as always.

I'm 59 and you ARE inspiring to me! Do what you want, when you want and how you want 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Agree that we shouldn't have to over explain ourselves, especially to acquaintances or strangers who feel like they are owed an answer. I like your short replies. It must be jarring to have strangers approach you, act like they know you, and ask any type of question. I guess you get better at handling those situations with practice.

I hate explaining to ppl when they start asking me what do I want to do in my life. Most of them they asked u to judge u or put u in a box. So sad

3:40 "You literally can do anything you want." Good luck with that kid.

Love you Kelly, i wish I would have learned the art of being unbothered a long time ago (I'm 46 learning it from a 20 something yr old). keep pushing girl, forget these haters.

I've been part of the stampede for a while now. I am 48 years old and I still get a kick out of your channel. I love that you live for a living. You are a good example of the attitude that I think is healthy..each person is free to do whatever they want periodt.

i also dislike the "where do you see yourself in x years" question because, not to be bleak or depressive but i'm not even sure i'll be alive 🤷🏾‍♀its why i try to appreciate my todays, aim to be content with today and aspire for the best *today*

Living your best authentic life is your birthright ❤

Thank you, Kelly! ✨

I have never related/needed a video so much in my life. Thank you for this! I too live everywhere and I live for a living

" I Live" LOL I love it.

I need that podcast Kelly Stamps I've listened to all the storytimes maybe 3 times. Salute to such great content!

Ciao Kelly, Im so busy learning SEO (from zero!), then I saw your video, and I needed this. Tiramisu waiting for you here in Rome, but come January to March 😁

I’m tired of explaining to people why I don’t want kids or why I don’t want to get married. It’s so annoying cause so many questions come after I explain if it’s cause of a unstable household, rough childhood, or if I’ve been cheated on like no I just don’t want to and they just don’t understand.

I don't think I ever commented on any of your videos, just wanted to say that I love your presence in this world! Thanks for being inspiring, an older sister (even though I'm older than you haha) and funny at the same time. Sending love from Brazil!

I’m tired of having to explain myself. My spontaneity. I shouldn’t have to explain why I act randomly, or why I live freely. It’s my life.

Peasants going to peasant, respectfully stated. Gratitude for your sacrifice guess someone gotta

i'm tired of explaining to non-creative people why i'm creative... because i am? go off and do your equations idk leave me alone

yes

Great progress 🎉🎉🎉❤😂😂😂

Love your carnelian necklace in the thumbnail!

Damn right baby lol 😝 ❤

Hi Kelly, do you offer coaching sessions?

I am young, hot and rich. I can do whatever I want. Amen😊

You're giving Diana Ross in your thumbnail!🔥

Never, hate me for it

LIVE IS THE BEST ANSWER 😂😂😂

I'm in love

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years" my answer has always bee something along the lines of "hopefully alive somewhere. Preferably happy and motivated"

This quote has been attributed to many people, so I don’t know who originally said it, but it is one of my favorites. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.“ (BTW, I am from a different generation, and I get it.) ❤️

“I am young, hot, and rich. I can do whatever I want.” This is the vibe. ❤

Im 26 and had this realization just this year, all by myself, the hard way. Lol Having a narcissist father, you learn that some people just listen to respond, not to understand. And changing someone else's mind is not your job.

unlearning a lot of bad habits, including overexplaining. sometimes the truth doesn't matter when people's minds are made up. and that's on them. save yourselves the trouble and effort.

As a people pleaser type person I always feel like I need to explain myself. I’m going to try now to give people as straight forward answers as possible. If someone misunderstands me that’s not my problem

Kelly should have been in the Barbie movie. She lives the traits that Barbie taught us. We have the opportunity to do whatever we want and we should be active in seizing those opportunities.

As probably one of the few boomers on the channel, I like your response about not having to think about what you're going to do in 10 years or 30. In my early 20s I thought I had it all planned out. Decades later, none of what I thought would happen has come to pass; having to do it and having a way to find happiness along the path as you're aging is way more important in the long run. You keep doing whatever you want to do.

“I don’t want to feel like I can’t travel somewhere because of my skin” amen ma’am.

I love this! This video resonates with me as a childfree BW. People can’t seem to wrap their head around it! My time is precious & I have no time to explain my personal choice. I can’t be bothered with people who are committed to purposely misunderstanding me or trying to place me in this stereotypical box they think I should fit in because of their preconceived notions of me.

I enjoy their confusion, their curiosity, & their lack of understanding.I feel empowered that I get to actively choose my life and live it how I want , and they simply cant comprehend that. I feel pride and a confidence boost in these interactions. And if they are interested just to judge, I am reminded they're one of those people who hate their job and compete with others to feel better and I think they can sense me judging them for judging me.

Being misunderstood is maddening, however most people listen to respond, not to understand. Thank you for this video, it came at the RIGHT time😊

Same kelly! I follow your other channel. Im a black housewife with no kids and this is literally bliss. I love using my free time for my hubby, friends and family. Idk what the future holds regarding work going back to work but this is a beautiful choice for me currently. I graduated from a top 20 university and was a commercial property manager for years but i have never felt more accomplish and at peace then now. It makes people uncomfortable to see black women rest. Keep resting and traveling and enjoying this life, you only get one shot!

What do you do for a living Kelly: I live 🥰 Me: I’m funemployed ✨💖

I’ve always felt rude to give short answers to people. But I also don’t like sharing information about myself that they don’t need to know. So you’ve started this line of reasons for me to think. Btw I’ve just discovered your channel. Thanks teacher 👩🏾‍🏫

It’s so refreshing to hear someone say this out loud. I would alway try to explain to friends how people try to size you up. As an introvert i felt like people sometimes start conversations with me because i was never willing to give up personal info so freely. When you do share it’s followed by a why and judgment. Personally, when this happens i choose to not interact with that person again. Control the controllable 🎉

The less information u give them about your life(my mother n law)the more it makes their skin crawl with hatred!❤

Sometimes telling your side of the story is actually self-sabotage. I always say that the things you say about yourself are infinitely more valuable than what others say about you,, because they can be weaponised against you under the guise of "well, that's what she said." Let them wonder. Your explanation is a foundation - let them try to fill in the gaps themselves before their argument eventually falls because a wall can't stand without a foundation.

So I completed the video, took my notes, said the mantra and I got this lesson out of it: WE ALL HAVE FREE WILL. That's it, that's the MAIN IDEA! Thank you once again Prof. Stamps, good lecture.

I really stood up and raised my hand. LOL. Being a student at Stampede University is an honor. Haha. Seriously though, your messages are so needed. Thank you.

People will always hate because they wish they were in your shoes in one way or another, you have something they don’t. This resonates with me hella right now because I want to make this RU-vid/content creation my job and everyone else puts their fears on me. We have ONE life 🖤

Just turned 30 and I can def say that not caring about what other ppl think about you is revolutionary. Glad to be here now. Let’s go class 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I’m tired of explaining myself to people who clearly have underlying perceptions of me, based on what other people have told them. I’m tired of explaining myself to those who invalidate my feelings. I don’t need to explain and I validate Myself!

Exactly! People ask what do you do for a living in order to compare their life to yours, in order to figure out how much money you make and judge you based on that. I was at a party a few months back and a girl approached me, started making chit chat and suddenly asks "how much money do you make?" 🙃

My main goal is to be as unbothered as Kelly Stamps!

As an older Black American woman, you are on the right track- open minded, intelligent, beautiful, God loving , creative, talented. Don’t listen to the haters. And let a rich man find you so you can have some beautiful babies- don’t forget

I’m an ambivert too, in between introvert and extrovert. I do agree with not trying to make someone understand you. People have to be willing to be misunderstood in order to pursue the things they truly want. Many of us have to accept the fact that even family will not understand. There are so many stories of peoples children doing things that disappoint their parents at first like dropping out, but that drop out ended up being the answer to the family’s prayers. Be willing to be misunderstood and accept the fact not everyone is going to understand.

amen!! thank you queen professor stamps, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this as of your assignment asked: I am tired of explaining myself about my educational background, when people see a hot and pretty and Latina girl like me they don’t expect much academically and it bothers me that some people feel like I have to prove myself academically to “sound smart” to them, I don’t have to prove myself to you ! I proved myself to harvard already !! it’s exhausting to see in society how “being smart” it’s associated to degrees, it’s completely flawed - and it’s exhausting to see how “looking good” and “being smart” are banished to be present at the same time apparently love your videos , keep providing lectures please ! ✨

"I don't know what it's like to feel like I don't have infinite possibilities in this world" 🙌🏾

Kelly, I’m in my 40s now. I tried to be like you in my younger years but couldn’t figure out my path to success for a long time. In some sense, I’m still figuring it out, but I’m extremely close to getting to my happy place. You are miles ahead of most people in your thinking and I know you know that. F the haters, they are just jealous! ILYSM and thank you for being you and sharing your ongoing story of bliss and success!

you’re my ‘thewizardliz’

I’m not religious myself, but your ability to live unapologetically in your own ethics and principles inspires me!! :) love your videos, as always

I’m tired of explaining why I’m homeschooling my child, who was once in a private school. I believe that it’s the best situation for her and that’s the end of the story!

I love what you said about how you can do anything. In the world, you constantly hear people trying to place limitations on you. I find that this happens because people want to hold you back from reaching your full potential 🤷🏻‍♀️

I will forever answer the "what do you do for a living" question with "i live". amazing. thank you. i also needed this video very badly.

The man who stopped you and tried to 'pick your brain' may have tried to make you question yourself, but not because you didn't fit his approval or he was struggling with understanding you... That was just his 'hook' to get you into bed. Same as the mover guy you mentioned. My older me looks back at my younger me, whowas burdened by all these similar issues my whole life, and realises those weird encounters, at least when it was from men, were simply about sex. I'm still trying to navigate the jealousy from insecure women of all ages, but at least that's one pain solved.

Having to explain to other people could exhaust you. Seems like you couldn't take time for yourself to breathe and even think properly.

I’ve learned that lesson already as I’ve gotten older. You’re right, Kelly! 👍🏻

Is this Gen-Z's version of the prosperity gospel grift? No need to explain yourself when people can see right through you.'

Man, I needed this. Whenever I find myself explaining myself to people (usually strangers?), it feels like all the life and joy is zapped right out of me. I got plans, yeah, but sometimes I wanna keep the lid on them so that they are still exciting and fresh TO ME. If they really wanna know what I'm doing, they can watch me.

Im tired of explaining to people that i don't want to live to work. I want to buy my time and freedom back and just exist. Be a happy little free spirit and do whatever i like

I’ve only seen a few of your videos and I’ve liked your messages but I’m not so sure about this one. The last thing the world needs is MORE self absorbed, egotistical, entitled narcissists. Look around, they’re everywhere and they aren’t that great. There is something beautifully balanced about life though. The universe has a way of evening things out. Be humble and grateful or the universe will find a way to humble you and take away the things that you didn’t appreciate.

I absolutely LOVE and ADMIRE you greatly. I would love for my son and daughter to share your outlook. Keep up the AMAZING work that you do.

Thank you Prof. Stamps, I get sick of being ask what I plan to do with my degrees as one pursuing academics. I’m pursuing my studies because I enjoy learning, whether that leads me to becoming a professor, librarian, or etc. I have no clue and I don’t care. As you said, I have so much trust in God that I honestly don’t plan anything, though from others view it looks like I do😂

Those comments you mentioned remind me so much of coworkers I’ve dealt with in the past and now-judgements about school, where I live, what I do, etc. it’s like these people pry to lift themselves up, but like you said they’re shackled and I laughed so hard at your clap back. As an artist who has a full time design job, I get that same annoying question and when I explain how I wanna do my own thing people lose their minds. I’ve had to cut out people who I thought were my friends because of this, but you’re right. They’re trying to size us up because our sense of not giving a f scares them. There’s power in not caring and having self worth/confidence to travel your own path and instead of wanting to be like you they punch down. Your videos always come at the best time and I love your passion and fearless attitude!

Love your energy

I noticed when I stopped explaining what I choose to do with my life.....I truly realized how FREE I am. Living unapologetic and feeling free....can't get any better than that💟

that is such a good point, Phd. Dr. Prof. Head of Unbothered Studoes Kelly Stamps! I normally explain for a minute and if they get it they get it, if they don’t they don’t. People’s minds are just waay to different from one another to ALWAYS find common ground. Also no one’s paying you for the time you spend explaining yourself so why bother😂

I’m tired of explaining I’m never going to want to buy a grocery bag 😂

It is true and that is correct. Pls do not explain at this point forward. For you will be voluntarily making your self responsible for the short comings of others.

You are a unicorn! Most people are intrigued, afraid and jealous all at the same time. They don’t know what to do with their own lives, sooo attaching their opinions to another person’s life might give them a distraction. Actually, that opinion might be all they have. Do you sis!!!

Amen! Let's make ceasing to explain ourselves to people a self-care essential. Folks don't have to understand, and we don't owe them an explanation. We understand what we're doing, and that's enough.

I've learnt so much from you Kelly, you're younger than I am, but that doesn't mean I can't gain value in a lot of what you say, thank you little big virtual sister.

Hello 👋🏾, I totally agree, let God lead the way. I’m glad I’ve learned this sooner than before it’s too late ⏰ My life is so much more peaceful and I am becoming stronger in my walk of Faith in Jesus . It’s a wonderful time to be alive and free to do what I was created for. 😊 Peace and blessings to you as well 🙏🏾

I’m tired, as a white immigrant in an African country, with people demanding to know details about my life when all they want is to find something problematic in me being here and prove that I’m exploiting someone or some system. Can only imagine what other immigrants are going through around the world.

I'm tired of explaining to people that I'm not where I was anymore, and I really don't care to go back. Thank you Professor Stamps, this is my fav class.

3:56 I’m actually standing bc why? Bc I don’t have to explain it to anyone.

Love you Kelly! Keep doing what you are doing little momma! So proud of you!

im tired of explaining to people how much i just don't like talking to people lol, its a struggle because i come off very extroverted

Hearing you say "Some people are committed to NOT understanding you," is so valuable. I often struggle with wording myself in a way that makes sense to others, but when I hear something that resonates as well as that does, I can't help but take note. TY for sharing your insights, I hope to better understand myself and others as well as you have. And continue to live well, love, and strive for better for the betterment of our global community. Have a beautiful day!

🙏👏👏 Good on you, that's creepy af, even if it wasn't intended to be. But you're completely right I'm noticing whenever I'm feeling awkward because of what someone is asking me it's not because of me in any which way shape or form it's because it's none of their business and my subconscious is calling it for what it is. So I'm going to remember whenever someone says something to me that gives me a weird feeling it's because they shouldn't be saying it to start with.

When you are young, hot and free, you can just live, enjoy, and not think about the future. When you get to 70-80, and your bowls are not working, or your eyes are not that great, or your brain is not functioning well, and a million other things, you will reflect about your decisions.

Liking this before even watching it, just because you have my life motto in your title.

Partner and I have gotten into the habit of talking about hobbies, what we’re watching, playing, reading, etc., whenever someone asks the dreaded “So what do you do?” Like that person is always referring to work and we both just do not care 😂

I find that it’s always hard for some people to understand that they don’t need to understand if they can’t respect the choices you make or the answers you give. Love your content Kelly, keep it up!!

It freaks me out how the word “living” (ie, “what do you do for a living?”) has become a synonym for “work”

this has made me realise that i probably subconsciously judge people’s life decisions a lot and provoke them to over explaining this is just because i feel the need to over explain and i’m insecure about my life decisions i will now let people do what they want to do, i don’t have to understand it, if it has nothing to do with me

I heard someone say recently that a big reason the older generation "doesn't get us" or push their values, beliefs, lifestyles, etc on us is because by acknowledging our "unconventional" successes, it makes them question themselves and their own lives. Like, well I had to work and go to school and got married and started a family to get where I am, but you want none of that, yet you're just as successful AND free

Alot of people want to know how much a person makes because they want to see what is possible for themselves and not just to size you up. Also giving a person respect should not be tied solely to how much money they make. A person that bases their personal worth on how much money they make comes across as materialistic and unhappy deep down.

Kelly Stamps should be cast as Lane in a Live Action Version of Daria