Stop oversharing and embarrassing yourself 

🙏"regulate, elevate, graduate" needs to become a mantra for me!! I still struggle with waiting before reacting but like you say sometimes you need to not make it about you. To just be like "okay, cool, I understand." This was a good reminder today as well that sometimes being myself is not the best option lol, sometimes I need to just sit with what I'm feeling instead of impulsively acting. There is definitely a way to be yourself and validate yourself while still sharing parts of you with the world but I've not quite got a handle on it yet. It is a balance. Great video🧡

I stopped oversharing and noticed I became more confident in making decisions because I’m not relying on other people’s opinions of me anymore

“Don’t be yourself guys, lie a little bit.” This is gonna be my motto for the rest of this year.

Not only does overstating give me the ick because the person is trying so hard to bond and to seem vulnerable which not everyone deserves your vulnerability, over sharing is also dangerous. I don’t know what people can do with the info I just gave them. I get uncomfortable when people try to be over familiar with me, like I am legit a stranger to you and Vice versa. There is no forcing a bond, you either vibe with someone or you don’t

My issue in the past has been people being nosy as hell and trying to get information out of me and me feeling like I owe them a response. And then feeling exposed afterward. This happens to empathic people a lot. Now, I feel no need to share anything ESPECIALLY if they had no intentions on sharing their information. Boundaries are so important and when you have them, not only will you not share impulsively you won’t feel obligated to.

I won’t voluntarily share things about myself unless asked. The problem is I don’t know how to avoid answering certain questions. That’s when I overshare and regret it. Like “damn I said too much” lol

The title dragged me for filth but honestly I needed the reminder , thank you Professor Stamps♥️ you’re doing God’s work

I became more private by cutting out the people who would try to draw things out of me that I wouldn’t have voluntarily shared lol. Noticing how much of their other friends drama I knew made me realize they were just using me for gossip to share with other people, it was never about knowing what’s going on with me for the sake of being a friend.

I think you really hit it when you said that we need to learn how to self regulate. So many people over share expecting people to regulate for them, which is wild.

This video hit home. I used to be an oversharer. I’m not that much of one anymore. And everytime I did I knew it came from a place of wanting validation. I began to ask myself, “What other person can validate you better than yourself?” You gotta live for you and not let everyone be in your business cuz the same people you over share with today out of insecurity and need for validation may be the same person that blocks your blessings tomorrow.

I appreciate every blogger, who over shared on RU-vid, spoke about things we do not naturally speak on daily basis, it saved my emotional wellbeing.

I think this goes hand in hand with letting go of the feeling like you always need to explain yourself. Be confident in your actions and decisions and let them speak for themselves. Other people don’t need to give you permission!

Recently came back to an old job after experiencing many hardships. I was expecting everyone to pry into my life and ask a million questions, but they didn't. And I'm so grateful they didn't because I was actually ready to overshare and expose myself. I'm just here to work.

You should only share your story with people who've earned the right to hear it. That certainly isn't EVERYONE, but thinking this way made me feel so much better and less guilty about being so private.

Was NOT expecting that example of oversharing, but… sigh… judging by how society is rolling, nowadays…. I’m not shocked it happened.

Honesty is extremely important to me, so is vulnerability. I quite like strange and insecure people, they are human! and they teach me a lot about life. I will always, always, appreciate a warm, truthful weirdo over a cold, witholding person who thinks themselves superior to others. I also as a trauma survivor understand that regulating emotions is very difficult for some of us including people who are neurodivergent. I used to overshare tons online, I try not to anymore but sometimes i share pieces of my innermost self in hopes i can find people who understand. So no, Kelly Stamps. I cannot take this advice. Im happy with who i am, even if I'm embarassing.

8:53 "You can't be fully 100% yourself to succeed in this life" Damn. Well I think I'll take that to heart.

You're so right about making things way bigger than they actually are. I have a bit of a weird voice and I always thought that everybody noticed it and would think weird about it. And in reality, nobody really cares. Once I noticed that, it made it a lot easier for me.

there's a fine line between being authentic and sharing every single thought that comes straight out of the noggin. But what do I know - I'm fiercely private. I have the opposite problem

Amen, sister. I undershare so much that people online assume I'm a man. That's how little I give.

There is a difference between communicating with somebody in earnest and telling them every thought or feeling you have.

You are on to something!! I think Brene Brown refers to oversharing as a smash and grab attempt at connection, or even a shield. Because it’s so sudden and unpredictable, oversharing does not have an actual foundation of trust and respect. It’s not true vulnerability, it’s a defense mechanism.

I have a feeling this is aimed at me. Going from oversharing to not speaking for months at a time. Being panicky. Autism and ptsd are not my friends. They push away any human connection. Weirdness is misread as insecure 😢 Thanks as always. Edit: I thought you were going to say be yourself! 😅😂 Lmao.

"Don't be yourself, leave that shit at home." LOL

I am currently undergoing shutting up & just being secured in myself. My friend’s now don’t know much about me and I am glad and vice versa. I felt in the past I overshared because I wanted to connect and feel like someone cared (to myself growing up) and then I realized, why am I doing? What do I gain? So I’m happy that this came on my feed because I know God be wanting me to hush

I agree, especially at work, and even to families members, heck to everyone. People are nosey and feel entitled, most of the time, they should mind their business and you shouldn’t overshare

This is the best advice wrapped in comedy. So true !! “Don’t be yourself, lie a little bit” 😂Sometime the truth is too much & we need to keep it ourselves b/c tmi 🤦🏾‍♀️

I'm a very private person and i hate when people overshare especially when we don't even know each other well.

Okay imma be honest and I’ve been in both spectrums. Now a days I share things about my self but don’t do it unless I’m asked and I do because I want to. I don’t care and if people wanna judge so be it. I’m perfectly fine by myself and don’t want surface level people in my life. If you get it, you get it, if you don’t, you don’t.

It’s sadly due to social anxiety in my case but I’ve gotta get that under control. Oversharing and people pleasing have never led to good things.

One positive about over sharing is that man told you really early that he's a weird creep.

When I stopped oversharing, it stopped the opinionated ppl and humble braggers in my life from feeding off of my words for their own satisfaction. I realized quickly after that they don't really have much else to talk about and we never really talk anymore - its been so peaceful since and I'm grateful I finally grew out of it.

I used to overshare the most when I drank. No longer drink-- now I only share whats necessary which is not much. I keep a lot to myself which makes me feel more mentally at peace. You don't have to tell everyone everything. Not even family. I keep the majority of my life to myself. I'm not lying or hiding, I just don't find it necessary to tell every little thing going on in my life with people. I also barely post or share on social media. I am taking the next 6 months off posting. No one has to know what's going on with me. It's no one's business.

When I’m anxious, I overshare without thinking. Then I go home and obsess over the oversharing because it’s so embarrassing! I really need to get a handle on this with some breathing exercises or something. Or maybe I’ll just start running away from strangers trying to talk to me because I don’t know how to act lol.

Reminds me of keeping a lil bit of mystery, esp in relationships. I think we find someone we're so connected to and then project ourselves onto them. But they're still their own person and don't know the inner workings of your brain. I vibe with what you're saying, its being intentional with what your share and when you're vulnerable

I can't stress enough how changing your circle can help you elevate your life. I really don't understand when people say they're scared to be alone because I'm like you're the best company you can have??? Why would you stay with people who aren't adding anything to your life and all of your conversations sound like small talk or are just shallow. You could literally be with someone else (or by yourself!) and have this and much more. It's not easy to learn to be ok with yourself and by yourself but that's the point: the moment you realize it doesn't come as easy it means you DO have some work to do. But working on yourself is always worth it, it's not your responsibility to make other ppl feel better and it's not their responsibility to make YOU feel validated. You're powerful enough to own your insecurities and strengths.

I overshare when I try to keep conversations going

Confidence comes from proof of concept. Step outside of your comfort zone and use the successes from those moments as proof/evidence that you can succeed and you will become confident

Felt this!!! This is what I've been doing, also as a sensitive person, and recently got a lot of people telling me I'm closed off or not vulnerable enough. It has come with the wave of everyone oversharing on social medias (e.g., tiktok) and the portayal of 'being yourself' as being completely open with everyone. No. Self-regulation is healthy and keeps me safe and successful in my little world! Not everyone needs to know everything, leave it at home

this reminds me of this older man who tried to return some diapers at my store and proceeded to tell me that he had prostate surgery and he didn’t leak afterwards 🤢

The oversharing should be relegated to the right people. Knowing who those people are is a gift. 🙂🌱

As women we think that oversharing will get people to like us especially men i made that mistake once. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I attracted a vulenrable covert narcissist who wouldnt leave me for a second. Its been pure HELL with this man. And thanks to having met him he has toughened me up. Now i keep my life private. And can easily spot a narcissit if i ever come across another one again. Most men are narcs so beware ladies.

I overshared at work & it back fired horribly 💀

I honestly am going to overshare a bit but I got kicked out and my first thought was to make a TikTok series about that to hopefully get help, but I felt like it was degrading to myself and probably wouldn’t help my life situation

I see both sides, people are uncomfortable about having deep conversations. I enjoy intimate conversations and people who are very comfortable with themselves and their insecurities.

I love this, so true! I’ve started to have better boundaries the last few years and it’s changed the game! Of course, I’m still vulnerable but only to those I love and trust in appropriate ways. I used to think I had to be vulnerable with everyone because I was “deep” lol NO. Now, I indulge in small talk to socialize and my privacy is protected.

he's an exhibitionist. the point is to make you uncomfortable. be careful around strangers

I would have walked away from that guy. Guys who get sexual on you immediately don't respect you

What do you mean embarrassing yourself....your truth is your truth whether good or bad

I have kept this rule with myself of "authenticity" and when I tell you it has held me back so much! I really need to go outside and practice making shit up

i found out recently that most people in my life didn't even know that my dad died when i was little. They just assumed he wasn't in the picture. I'm the type of person that if people don't ask I don't say anything but if they do then I'm an open book.

This is an amazing reminder, especially in professional settings like interviews. I am these days trying to share only what fits my narrative and what speaks to my qualifications for the job. LOL, I really use to be acting like a whole clown and doing WAY too much over sharing about prior roles during my interviews. Thanks for the reminder Professor Stamps!

Idk about this. I think it's hit or miss but one should be conscious of it. I have been a bystander and over heard people overshare about their health, anxiety, insecurities in how they're dressed and ppl can be receptive since it might be taboo to share but the recipient can relate so it creates an initial bond. I have seen it time and time again where people are 'oversharing' in a public space to eachother only to exclude any one they deem not worthy to enter the conversation. I think it might be a tactic sometimes more than an insecurity but if there is a pattern, yes i can definitely see your point.

Amen girl! Speak the TRUTH! ( And thanks for the reminder. ) - I agree, oversharing stems from the need to feel validated. You don't need that from other people if you've got J word. People who get the privilege to know you (the general you not Kelly specifically, although that is a major privilege) are the ones to take the time to get to know you. That passing of time while getting to know someone is the best way to vet out those crazies EVERYWHERE. People try to exploit others. You gotta protect yourself, and that's something I wish I knew before 25. Would have saved me a lot of grief...

I take sunday early morning walks & just ramble to myself 😂😂 that way I’m not tempted to share anything about myself

Yes, I used to overshare a lot when I was younger and boy did it work against me. Now you can't even get me to talk about anything lol

I have been working out as of lately and it been helping me mentally and emotionally. Slowly but surely I'm getting there.

i am generally a private person and only share what i want, however, i can have the tendency to overshare with loved ones/close friends. i loved this video!!!

We are definitely in an era of ppl thinking that their non-worked on flaws and toxicities are cute, quirky and endearing when they are anything but.

It’s not even 11 o clock yet!! 😂

Oversharing meant that you're really putting yourself out there, which not a lot of people can do. Anyway, great video. Keep up the good work.

Love this video!!! I needed this!! Lately I’ve overstated terribly and it has got me into a situation where people have used it against me. Years ago I thought oversharing was just being human, but lately I’ve realised why I do this and that I need to regulate my emotions better. Can’t wait now to work on myself and get my emotions in check. I love the honesty this video gives. Cannot be dealing with people judging my life anymore. Cannot judge when they no longer know 🙌🏻

"If someone with an anxious attaching is texting me more and more...You can't control yourself, it's embarrassing." It is definitely such a vital lesson to learn this. It is so important to gain self-awareness of how unregulated and embarrassing this behavior or reaction is - it can also be controlling and damaging to your partner. Extreme anxious compulsions can be reflective of lacking insight into healthy relationship dynamics, exposure to mostly dysfunctional relationship dynamics, and lack of self-awareness, self control, or both. It often takes being subjected to this kind of behavior to realize it in yourself. It is so important to recognize this as a compulsive behavior that is disrespecting both you and the other person. It's so important to be honest with yourself if you struggle with acting on compulsions or need excessive reassurance based on anxieties in a relationship. I think a lot of the time people who display anxious attachments are truly not aware of how hurtful their actions are. Anxiously attached people must recognize that these are dysfunctional behaviors that are equally as unhealthy and harmful as avoidant/dismissive behaviors

GURL!!! That opening story! 😱Totally reminds me of what happened to me 3 days ago... I was sitting at a bar, minding my business, and this man walked up to me and said "I LOVE BBWs." I was like "WHHHHAAAAATTTTT?" I can't even measure the amount of audacity some men have but I need these types of men to leave us alone!!! Anyhoo, THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO, Kelly!!! 😀 And yes, "Don't be yourself. LEAVE THAT ISH AT HOME!" 🤣

People is like "i don't do that!" And you can found everything about that person instagram, their lies, goal, ambitions, friend, family, the party of sabrina everything!

She is talking about the TIMING of over sharing y’all!! Don’t lose the importance of the main messaging 😉😊

Yes ! Another outstanding class ! Regulate your emotions. I am here for it 💋 Love you Kelly

This comment section is golden and so is this video. Thank you, I needed this today.

That guy didn't overshare, he borderline sexually harassed you.

Girl YES!!! Thank you for glorifying the Lord's name and sharing your confidence in in HIM- the King of ALL kings.

a coworker asked me how much I have in my savings and I answered ( luckily I didn’t give them an accurate number) BUT STIIL, I didn’t even need to answer that question. 🤦🏽‍♀️

The other side of this is, when you don't have the need to be validated by others you can also share with others without having fear of being judged. If you share nothing, even wuth new people, you can end isolated

❤❤❤ I have spots on my legs from having chicken poxs at 11 years old. Its my biggest insecurity and because of that i don't wear shorts or dresses in public even tho i really like them. Im working on that😢

A necessary reminder. Things should stay personal and sacred.

based on the title i’m assuming this will be extremely good advice, but unfortunately a large part of my brain loves to sabotage itself and it might not heed your warning. however i am still going to listen and hope for the best!

The Lord Farquad cut...please hahaha🤣🤣🤣

We need to bring back shame 😂

working on fixing an anxious attachment style. I know I have a lot to bring to the table but don't believe it when people value me and I need constant validation...which is so not attractive.

I need this reminder like every month. You're everything.

I appreciate everyone who has overshared with me I literally care about nothing.

Exactly, you are so right! 👍🏾

This is the talks we need to hear, literally leave that shit at home

Own your insecurity, something I've learned about my body. One thing to remember, no matter what my body looks like, I will always love my body regardless of what it looks like. I will always own every aspect of it no matter what it looks like!

agreed!! I used to be tellin everyone my moves but now I end up keeping it to myself until i for sure get the results! It helped me be more confident about my decisions

Talk about the incredible timing you *inserted sponsorship* that was mastery 101, I digress, not needing validation is also knowing how to be alone, and comes from self knowledge and a lot of other things including isolation at times. You are absolutely correct, freaking out is childish and denotes low EQ. A LOT don't know how to do that due to lack of accountability and responsibility towards oneself. In the past, a lot of relationships were used to navigate the world and to be used as a tool to help themselves with, whether platonic or not. However, a lot of people are no longer accepting of that, and the majority, attachment styles or socioeconomic backgrounds or not simply haven't gained that skill. Great video!

I have so much anxiety around the fact that I can’t regulate my emotions well. You kind of just have to accept where you are emotionally at first. It’s not “okay to be toxic,” but being upset with yourself for your shortcomings only makes it worse

All of us could benefit from it. Thanks for words of wisdom Kelly. Hugs from Hamburg

I really like this. It’s enough sometimes to have to deal with my emotions, without adding something else by overreacting on top of it.

My co worker overshared some drama about her colleague. My response is always "oh and uh huh I just can't be bothered

Amen !!! Get it Kelly , love the new elevated YOU!!

The irony of oversharing in a video about oversharing.

Very much appreciated this video Kelly! I don’t care at all that we have differing beliefs (agnostic) I genuinely believe you speak truth and give amazing advice that anyone can apply to their lives. Been subscribed since 2019 and I’m not going anywhere. Bless you 🦋

The man shared some very valuable information. We can all learn from uncircumcision .

Oh Kelly always posting at the right time when I need to hear things.

This is the deep dive on over sharing that I didn’t know I needed to hear. Not that I make weird comments lol but never really thought this deep into it. Good video Kelly!

I haven't watched your channel in awhile, God I miss your advice and stories 😂

I really like this idea of " too secret no one can read you, too out there no one can decipher you" can be tricky to find a balance, social media is pretty f new to humans. so yeah, just try to find the balance.

You are the only content creator, in whom I listen to the actual sponsorship. You are great at advertising.

Finally! Another video about privacy to pin on all my socials for the next two years!!

The guy wasn't oversharing; he was telling you that he's a creep.