That sounds greedy to me, I guess, fullest in what? And what if you have more than one life to live, maybe the belief in one life causes fomo and concentrates your perception on scarcity.
@@superwormhalz2607 interesting perspective on his take. I see living your life to the fullest as not worrying about FOMO. Not being caught up in whether or not you've missed all these great things, and focusing on enjoying the present moment you're experiencing. If you do that, then IMO you're living life to the fullest, and you don't really have time to worry about the FOMO
@@shiv_ring Yeah, so I actually take a different approach depending on the time frame. Present decision: I let myself agonize for 10-30 secs, mentally bounce between a lotta choices, before doing a mental "1,2,3" countdown where I kind of mentally relax/freefall and see where I land. Basically I become the randomizer of my own life. Ex: I'm reading a menu and I see 3 items I like. I'll read their little food descriptions and then bounce around as the waiter is standing at the table. Just before an awkard amount of time passes, I just stop cycling and land on an option. Past decisions: This is more about facing regrets I guess than actual FOMO, but I basically let myself wonder about the possibilities for a little bit, but then I ground myself by acknowledging that nothing would change or that I didn't have the requisite knowledge. Then I proclaim it spitefully to the hypothetical reality (can be out loud, though I do it mentally with some facial expressions) Ex: Thinking about the past and being sad about how my life/personal maturation was delayed by my adverse life experiences. Get caught up in the idea of how much more successful and healthier I'd be if those things hadn't happened. Feel the sense of loss but reject it, by acknowledging that I'd probably be much more naive, clueless, and dumber. Basically I will affirm/proclaim that it's okay for my damaged self to exist. This does require a degree of acceptance/integration of your experiences into your sense of identity. Afterword: I know that this doesn't really line up with Dr. K's advice for indecisiveness, because he said something about how some people will overanalyze a situation until they make a logical choice. He kind of implied that was not ideal and not indicative of true decisiveness, which is fine. I think he said that real decisiveness came from being all chill and detached on the inside. That wasn't really for me though. Rather than curb that behavior completely, I just let it share the spotlight with other behaviors to kind of even it out. These little rituals are probably not for everyone, but they really work for me. So most times I kind of cycle through all the stages of agonizing and staving off those behaviors.
The food analogy. Cemented this in my head forever. Remember when you talk to people: use weird anecdotes and sayings that break the monotony of what dumb people like me call textbook speak.
You're not dumb for not understanding textbook speak, not everyone learns or understands a concept the same way. With that said, great analogies are often very good at getting a point across in a simplified format.
I remember realizing this. As a, person with a broad range of interests. Some creativity at least. And ok intelligence. Who grew up poor. You have to get ok with missing out on whatever. Because you are always missing out on something. Unfortunately you can choose maladaptive ways of dealing with that, or positive adaptive ways of dealing with it. The only thing that worked for me was… Proper orientation. As in proper context for where I’m going, and what I’m avoiding. And how.
"Ha, FOMO. I conquered that a while ago" *This video pops up while I have literally 100+ tabs open* "Oh... Perhaps I may not have completely conquered FOMO"
it's so weird because he's right re that it's easy. When you're in the fomo state, it's hard to get out. But when you do decide to just stop for just 1 moment, it's surprisingly very easy. A weird loop of easy and difficult at the same time.
As I write this comment, I have 17 tabs open, 8 of which are wikipedia pages, 1 google translate, 3 youtube videos, 1 is a quoteinvestigator search, 3 are read articles from 2 hours ago, and a cambridge dictionary search I did a bit ago before finding this vid. the Doc. here's talking about streaming, and it probably has nothing to do with my reply, but I feel that multi-tabbing in ridiculous proportions has something to do with erratic attention spans, though in keeping the tabs open there is a 'Oh I'll finish reading it after THIS new cool thing' which has to do with unwillingness to miss something. Imo.
'Oh I'll finish reading it after THIS new cool thing' very very relatable. Thank you. It's time to go to sleep for me and you provided a moment of clarity (can't count the number of tabs open)
Typically when i keep tabs open, it's just to help me not forget certain things, i don't feel like it's related to fomo. Like I'll have some kind of background music ready, some task I'm procrastinating, messenger, and maybe one thing I'm actually looking at
Saaaaame and none of my tabs are streams either Usually helpful or relevant info I want to keep on hand to reference, that I haven't fully committed to memory yet
I feel like I convince myself that I will come back to stuff as a way of making an excuse to not follow through with a thought. Like I _know_ I won't actually come back to the thirty tabs I have open at any point so if I can convince myself that I will then I don't have to worry about stressing to figure out a thought or to engage with something that I find frustrating or something like that if that makes sense.
since writing that comment I started doing this: -if it's a term i don't understand i look it up, read it's meaning and close the new tab -if it's a whole new cool thing I open the tab, delay reading it and finish what I was previously reading, take notes if necessary, then close and move on to the new cool thing, Seems to help, dunno tho, I ain't no doc.
The only time I’ll have 15 tabs open is specifically when doing a long research paper and I don’t want to lose a source before I’m done using it and have it fully cited
I always ponder what else I could have eaten instead of the meal I chose for my lunch. That's probably why I'm obese today; I sometimes choose to eat them all in one meal.
I usually have 15 tabs open lol. Not for that reason tho. I like yo open all youtube videos from houtubers I like the moment I come from work to just watch them one by one. Then I have some language materials, drawing poses shit that is always opened. And if I start art project I have 20 refference pages lol cuz I compose one portrait from one pose, 2 hair photos, some flowers, some effects, etc.
yeah that's different from what he's talking about, I also always have like 20 tabs that I never close, some tabs for youtube, email, some learning platforms, socials and other very specific things I use regularly
the reason i have 183 tabs open is that exciting things i wanna learn pop up faster than i can learn them (and this is mainly because of school and work taking up 90% of my awake time)
I have 15 tabs open because I wanted to find out where I could get a personalised dog collar and now I'm on the 4 millionth page of Wikipedia reading about minnows!
You are liberated when you start to realize that none of it matters. Commit to what you're interested in or passionate about, and understand that there will always be opportunity cost to everything. Love the message, love the analogy. Don't get too caught up in FOMO, it's not a great place to be in.
It's only FOMO when the prospect of it enters your periphery, other than that it's just stuff you're not looking at. I felt so much better once I got the Unhook RU-vid extension for Chrome, so I was no longer being bombarded with all these other videos I could be watching. Finally I could watch one video and then, I shit you not... CLOSE RU-vid
'every single meal you eat, you're missing out on all of the other food, fomo is a state of life'....But wait, there are people that keep 15 tabs open of different streams?!!! What????
Am I the only one who's not afraid of missing out? I learned from being physically disabled from a young age that I was going to miss out on a lot. So I guess personally I got used to it. I just don't think about it much at all.
GK Chesterton criticized the mindset that choice was to do with freedom when in his experience it was the exact opposite. It was of making choices and having them limit him by their very nature as choices, but experiencing life fully as a result.
meanwhile me I just be sitting here only watching highlight clips from my favorite streamers so I don't need to watch the eh moments of the stream LMAO
"fomo is the state of life" What he means is that Missing Out is the state of life. Everything we do/experience involves missing out on a billion other things. You can be fearfully missing out or fearlessly missing out but either way you're missing out
As someone that used to struggle with FOMO; it is really not as hard as you think! For me it was just realizing that FOMO was ruining so many things, as it sucks a lot of energy away from you and often the hype is not even nearly worth it. Go enjoy your thing! Almost everything will be there waiting for you in neatly clipped fashion on other sites or would be cheaper during a sale (if case of games that is)
We aren't greedy. We are unhappy that our executive functioning is overwhelmed. We cannot get the highest priority thing. We are unhappy that we aren't being treated as well as we think we should be. We are unhappy because there are false expectations created by marketing, social media, society.
I used to be fucking addicted to collecting allll the things in a game called Sky, now I no longer give a shit. The game really feeds on players sense of FOMO. I've become ok with missing out.
The only thing I get FOMO about is porn. I have 600 tabs open and I will never ever close them. Also I'll never go back and watch them because there's new porn coming out every day so why waste time looking at the past
Efficiency is good though. FOMO is only bad when the very FOMO you get causes you actually miss out. The farther back in time you go, the more we actually missed out. People couldn't read. People couldn't travel. There used to be a time where you spent almost all of your life in your quiet country side OR went to the city and lived a super fast life full of risk and choices. There used to be a time where only a select few merchants routinely traveled and made a ton of money at huge risk to life and limb(travellers diarrhea used to be deadly).
@@kiiturii you only live once(I mean technically we don't know that for sure) so we need to extract every ounce of experience during our limited time. Sleep with as many women as you can until you hit diminishing marginal returns, use techniques to obfuscate the experience and subjectively make the experience feel special, both focus on the objective truth AND lean into your irrational subjective tastes, etc. Take everything you can and enjoy it as much as possible.
Me, who’s already following a bajillion RU-vidrs and Twitch streamers whose timezones are the complete opposite from mine: Screw this, I’m going to sleep!
Dang this one hits home. I 100% have FOMO. Here's the thing about the point you brought up though, every meal I eat, I do get FOMO about every meal I couldn't have eaten in that place. It just sucks. Also that's why losing weight seems futile at times.
People get fomo so they watch multiple streams? Bro I'd have fomo by sitting on my phone/computer instead of going out on the weekend lmfao. What is it
It depends what kind of streams you're watching, sometimes there isn't enough going on in a stream to be entertaining by itself. Two of them on two monitor though...
This surely is enlightening. A parallel-topic book could be your next enlightenment. "A Life Unplugged: Reclaiming Reality in a Digital Age" by Theodore Blaze
It's like watching one stream almost isn't worth their time anymore. It's almost more efficient to play yourself. 34 years old, never watched any gaming stream for longer than 5 minutes.
See, I am lazy so I rather look for clips of juicy parts of the streams instead of following 15 streams. Why do hard work when people will cater it to you?
I've finally started to stop having so much fomo for in game items. It's really fomo exhaustion because games are always trying to drag me in with the stuff I can get, I'm finally too overwhelmed to care.
thats why i just watch highlight clips. idgaf about seeing things live because I'm still going to see it, what does it matter when, to talk with people about it? what with the guys in chat? lol
I’m kinda the opposite. I will starve myself waiting for funny or epic clips. It’s the same with money, i hate signing checks and cashing them, but i love doing the nasty work of taking the trash out.
I have FOMO in regard to hookups and casual sex. I see all these men and women having so much casual sex during their younger years and I feel as though I'll never be able to enjoy that or live up to that standard.
Statistically sex has declined so for every person you see casually having sex theres a bunch of people sitting at home watching anime haha so don't worry cause that isn't the standard. I'm recently past my point of "young adult" years and I can tell you I felt the same at first. Eventually I was casually hooking up with people and for me it just wasn't great. Doesn't matter if they or I were great at sex, it just felt soulless most of the time like a minimum wage job, i.e putting in work for a small reward (speaking as a male). Making strong emotional connections with a partner has been much more rewarding. Also I just have to mention STD's... I wasn't surprised because I'm from a family of doctors and nurses and was constantly reminded to get checked regularly but a lot of people simply do not get checked. Anyway thats just my experience. You might enjoy it one day or maybe the FOMO will pass and you won't give a fuck anymore. If you do eventually get into casual hook ups then for do yourself a favor and get checked for STDs
@@wanderingrandomer I don't take part in live chat either but I feel like you only have experience with the 1% of the 1% of streamers where the chat is nearly unreadable. Often a live chat can be a great community to be a part of
