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@@Linosek279 ...in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But, a foolish samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.
Okay all I can imagine is kirito trying to pet a rabid bear. "by the angry growls, sound of my cartilage tearing and sensation of gallons of blood running down my side I could tell me and Mr. Bear were getting along swimingly!"
to be fair SAO was like his teen fanfic that somehow was brought back to life and shown to international audiences long after since he'd moved on and grew up as a writer. I mean give accel world a watch, it's no masterpiece but it's leagues above SAO when it comes to pretty much everything and while the anime isn't much to brag about you can tell the writing is improved from SAO
@@nisheshdahal2728 no amount of success can erase unimaginable shame. You can’t tell me you’ve never been haunted by cringey shit you’ve done in the past at night, lying in your bed...
@zirath ashe Trust me... you eventually get bard telling stories if you've tolled them a huge number of times. It's probably gotten to that point with him and stories about hi former employes..
This video is brought to you by: - The "Kirito is Always Right Foundation" - The "What is Life Fund" - The "Association of Higher Understanding" - And by contributions from viewers like you. Thank you.
@@jayands I am convinced Mole Men is code word for "I injected some really strong shit". because creating a "kill switch" in your game requires a certain level of "I clearly didn't have staff that cared about me" to get past your entire game development team.
@@LegDayLas It's not actually cannon though, it's weird, cuz it's like a thing Reki wrote in the fanfiction section of SAO's original web novel website
Mate this was a joke. The writer wrote it as a joke chapter and uploaded it in the fanfic sections of his website as a diss against hentai which he hates. However he hates this joke he made now and wishes everyone forgot about it.
@@silverdays2909 Oh that. That's gonna take some time. The short and overly simple version is you just stand in front of them and do the RS 2 dance where you stand on 1 foot.
People like to excuse this with things like "he wrote it as a joke" but... honestly this is just reki kawahara's awful writing in a microcosm turned up to 11
Never mind the resources being used fir vaginal fluid. Spare a thought for the poor guy who spend a fortune and years of his life studying programming and then found himself spending all his time just rendering arseholes
@@glazeuniversagladis2499 no it's not a real chapter. It's a non canon chapter that the writer posted in the fanfiction section of his website. He says that he wants people to forget about the existence of this chapter.
this entire experience is just Kirito having a detailed fantasy while Asuna just stares at him like, "Oh god, I broke the virgin didn't I" as in abridged Asuna, not canon one
I respect this entire comment thread and you are all men and women of culture but seriously, this is just kirito's fantasy before Asuna is either freaked out ooooor doms him because we all know she's a sadist Proof? Kirito saying "My wife punches me during sex" lmao
It is said that Asuna and Kirito c*mmed in the digital world(which is possible by turning off the Ethic Code which is weird but whatever, digital world anyways), but we think that they c*mmed in the real world, it is said that the NerveGear disconnects or divert all activity to the brain, which means they didn’t c*m, but during season 2, when Kirito was fighting against Death Gun(Terrible name tbh), we see that Kirito was sweating and being stressed in the real world, so there is a chance that Kirito and Asuna c*mmed. But that my friends is just a theory, AN ANIME THEORY, thanks for reading!
Did the author really write a fanfiction about Asuna Trying to impress a master swordsman and trying to get him to plant his magic sword in her cave of wonders all to do battle with the fearsome dragon within?
Max, as an MD, I have to say...survive, dammit! You are going to beat this thing, because nobody who can land a joke like that deserves to be in your situation.
No wonder he wrote 100 rape scenes after this one. Even when he tries to be romantic, this author just can't restrain himself form using words like "violently", "torturing" and "ABUSING"...
After the episode of when ronie and tiese almost get raped in SAO S3 reki did state he wants to write more lgbt stories and deviate from the suggestive scenes. Honestly I don't know if reki is just bending the knee to win brownie points or if he legitimately just wants to stop writing these sexual scenarios.
@@sentience3033 Dont try to defend him, thats not his goal and you know it. I hope he is trying to change and ill be glad if he can change. Even so, he definitely went a off his course with the, not 1, not 2, but 3 rapy scenes, and multiple questionable and rapish scenes.
@@noodle7380 did u even watch Alicization.There is no rape scene,u r the one of the disgusting person that use this word casually as f**k.the tieze and ronye scene in the LN was handled with the precision of a professional surgeon with the world's best scalpel. Imo it was masterfully executed by giving the proper buildup for Raios and Hubert to make us understand how scummy they really are, had enough world building to allow us to understand how they can get away with it and why they would do it, and gave us enough time with the characters to care for them and understand eugeo's desire to kill them for their actions. Then the reveal afterwards was just the icing on the cake by showing how all that build into the lore by showing how to even though these artificial fluctlites are very smart, they have physical limitations and some people can overcome them while others can't. All this buildup, all this amazing writing and world building and setup... and the studio is still A1 and the director is the director the ****ing asterisk war. In the end , if u want to understand those assualt scenes then read the light novel then u will understand the purpose or if u don't want to read it & still bark like a blind dog , then sorry 🙏bro , u r become idiot.
@@sentience3033 So this isnt a rape scene? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-DBEXSVwedDI.html And how do you explain the questionable scenes and other rapes?
@@LowReedExpert1 Yep. Reki Kawahara wrote this as a side-story on his website around the time the web novel was released (before it was published as a light novel).
The pure amount of awkwardness and cringe in this actually makes it believable that these are two teens attempting to fo the sex. But god that was hilarious.
This is literally a anime hentai comic that just shows two famous anime characters having sex and showing c*m go everywhere on everyone’s face and the most impossible way sex could be irl but written as text.
So that's the reason she's called "Lightning Flash Asuna". also, as someone who read all the books in middle school and loved this series, I can not for the life of me ever consider this chapter canon. Not because of the unrealistic sensations, or the juvenile understanding of sex, or even the explicit contradictions to the way the world does and should work, but entirely for the fact that in this depiction of Kirito and Asuna having sex,, Asuna does not top.
Ass: "We didn't make love. I DRAINED that poor sweet innocent little boy to satisfy my own desires. He looked more like a dried grape at the end of it but at least I had my satisfaction."
@Mint Fox Dude, there's nothing to worry about. This chapter IS NOT CANON in the first place. Reki Kawahara published this in the fanfiction section of his website, back when SAO was still a web novel. He hates the chapter himself now, and wishes that everyone forgot about it.
@@vicount3944 actually in the Sugary days side story, it is pretty much confirmed that they have wild sex during their honeymoon. Although he never goes into detail, and most likely, never will lol.
I came down here and read this comment, and it confused me because I hadn’t heard the story yet. After the story, I got back down here and then I realized what this meant. Fucking hell. He has been through so much and people out there whining about less.
ok, not going to lie... I love the voice actor for Kirito, and the way they did it in the Abridged, my girlfriend says "I watched both, I love just how much better Kirito is portrayed in the Abridged. I saw who voices him and i'm like... Can I give this man a hug? he's now my fav voice actor"
"I don't know how old you are, but you'll never be old enough to hear this." I feel that on a spiritual level. I'm 21, and I'm not old enough to hear this.
It kind of is fanfiction. Reki Kawahara posted this in the fanfiction section of his website, back when SAO was a web novel. He now hates this chapter himself and wants everyone to forget about it. It's completely non canon.
@@beastunleashed657 that makes sense considering this happens back in Aincrad ark where Kazuto and Asuna are still like, adolescent teens when they did the did so Reki would want to forget he even wrote this lmao, since he also did that nasty shit back in Fairy Dance.
This chapter has done nothing but further prove two points 1. You should never do anything unless given explicit consent 2. Consent can be revoked at any point during intercourse, even in the middle or during the build up But the most important lesson I learned from this is You don’t write sex scenes into stories unless the stories are about sex, implications are okay at best, actually showing it is just…it’s just tasteless
I like to think that this is canon in the Abridged universe, but as porn Kirito secretly wrote on his computer about his first time with Asuna and uploaded it onto the internet. Whether this is how it actually went is left ambiguous. Once Asuna escapes Alfheim she is going to see it and kill Kirito. (Edit) Thanks for the 1K likes everyone! 😀
And he actually definitely lasted like less than a minute and she probably didn't even finish. And if anything he was the one saying all those "no's" while Asuna was doing the Ra-...domming and then he wrote it like this
I've seen a Badfic where Timmy wishes to have the "Biggest di&% in the world", who is absurdly gross. I can deal with a normal porn story, even when is absurd and realisticly they would be clunky in execution.
Never have I felt so broken inside and so thoroughly entertained by another man's depressing life story. Needless to say, I feel for him and I'm so glad his life will be going back up from here :)
Yui: _"Dad, how was I born?"_ Kurt: _"Oh, it's a tale about a riding exploration quest inside hole between two mounds that released a waterfall at the moonlight."_ Yui: _"A riding exploration quest? Were there horses?"_ Kurt: _"No, Yui. But there were hoarses."_
@@uncle5164 I actually saw the abridged series by pure coincidence before the official anime, thinking _"Oh, this anime looks great! I'll watch the official release"._ Joke's on me, this proved to me that the Abridged series aren't just meant to parody something anymore. To be honest, I don't care if they don't make me laugh as long as they bring up a good version of the original story, like JoyRide Entertainment's Hero Academia Abridged.
Reading this horrible piece of writing has been, by far, one of the most painful and entretaining things I have ever done, and Kirito and Asuna reading it is just the best. Also, I really felt Max's story, and I hope he finds his way back to the light.
@@midgetthatnoonelikes2253 nope, the real voice actors of Kirito and Asuna are Bryce Papenbrook and Cherami Leigh in English dub, and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka and Haruka Tomatsu in Japanese.
In the same way the nerve gear stops your legs from moving whilst yoibrun in the game (despite you brain being the one sending the inputs) i supposed it would stop this too. Unless he cums so much data to glitch the game amd make him jizz irl too
@@manuelredgrave8348 but the gear doesn't stop you from breathing or your heart from beating, so it probably is designed to filter out involuntary actions, I.E. boners, climaxing, fluid production, sweating, hastened breathing, and a hightened heart rate are all involuntary
@@dukoth6552 I'm trying to imagine a completely still person suddenly getting an increased heart beat whilst cumming intensively on his hospital bed for no apparent reason, all the while doctors are freaking out
I'm surprised that there wasn't a part where asuna was about to give kirito head and looked at his (mighty sword) as she said "how do I eat you" I'm dying of laughter 🤣 🤣🤣🤣
@@justahologram2230 lol there's an actual chapter like that as well, with Liz dreaming about doing it with Kirito. It's written partially by Reki as well, but it is non canon, and so is 16.5.
@ethansolorzano5989 To be fair, that was a misunderstanding as he was one-upping Rosie's final words; "This is the deepest you'll ever be inside a woman."
The "...and making them talk" around 31:50 is just perfect. Like, it's one of the best-timed jokes I've ever heard and it's 100% in character for abridged Kirito.
@@mariomaster4568 I mean, if I were him, and I were obsessed with creating a game that matched reality as closely as possible, and I intended for people to stay there for potential years, I would at least program a mechanic that lets you jerk off in-game. Why not? You can make buttered bread from whatever the hell monsters drop. You can make “listening” an upgradable skill. Might as well.
im like 20 minutes in and im just getting to max's story and i have no idea who this guy is but him describing his life story has me damn near in tears. I sincerely hope this man has pulled his life from the brink and is living it up the best he can cause he seems to deserve it like no one else.
Honestly I came here for a funny and awkard reading of Reki's horrible sex writing but ended up getting invested into the life story of a man who seems like he just jumped out of a Netflix series and constantly saying to myself for no reason "Let's get this man 30k dollars" despite the fact I can't do that, and enither can anybody that can hear me
I'm not convinced that Reki wrote this. I think he gave it to a computer and told it to make this scene for him. That's the only explanation for how lifeless, unemotional and dead this comes across. I suddenly have a massive respect for Twilight because I am at least convinced that it came from a human being.....I don't think I can say the same for this.
This was written as a personal fantasy while he was either getting himself off, or planning to. I'm guessing it had parts revised after the fact, but there's certain ways things are written that gives away the headspace the author is occupying at the time of writing. This was getting it down on paper to solidify the imagery in his head.
Context: This is an excerpt of SomethingWittyEntertainment's 24-hour "Help Danteofthewest Beat Cancer" livestream done on June 30th, 2018. SWE is reading chapter 16.5 of the original SAO light novel. (Yes, this is an actual chapter written by Reki Kawahara.) As far as I know, this is the only bit of the 24-hour-long livestream that's been preserved. Also, Danteofthewest is part of the youtube channel BloodYokaiStudios, which holds many of the abridged series he mentions in this video. So if you want more context in that area, go check them out.
Chapter 16.5 was never in any actual published light novels, but instead it was uploaded to the web platform that Kawahara was uploading the SAO web novel, way before SAO started blowing up.
28:23 As someone who is learning a bit of Japanese, I know that phrasing "you" is somewhat of an insult in the language, and not using the persons name. So using you type words (yes there are multiple versions of just saying "you") is rare, to the point where some instances of designs or games even utilizes the english version of you instead, which is weird. Translating is hard when there are these type of rules and this can fall in the cracks of missing this wording, or it could be as you said how she's thinking about kirito, which invalidates my whole comment
"using you type words" The term is "second person" "some instances of designs or games even utilizes the english version of you instead" Not sure what you mean by "designs", but I assume you are saying that the Japanese literally use the English "you" despite not using any proper English? Basically turning "you" into a japanese loanword so they can use second person language without being considered offensive?
@@Betrix5060 Exactly, I heard about some Japanese games or designs utilizing the english word 'you' vs saying the Japanese 'anata' or the many variations of it. This was before I was learning Japanese (still very early on in it) and now after learning a bit I heard more about it, and basically how we say you a bunch, after saying the persons name the first time, in Japanese most of the time they would say the persons name everytime when we would just say 'you'. In many Animes I noticed this too because there are times when characters say "My name is not you" which is hard to understand for us, because repeating names is bad grammar. (I think, I'm not good at English even though it's my only language I can speak) Meanwhile in Japan, there's quite a bit of knowledge about English, even if their not really good at it, which is why sometimes for some reasons there are English menus in video games for no reason, and likewise would use English words of 'you' more than their Japanese counterpart because if it was a person saying that, it could be an insult.
@@JellyDrive Yeah, I've noticed myself that most Japanese seem to have casual familiarity with at least some English, but rarely posses any meaningful degree of proficiency. Probably a case of Japan just being really into loanwords, which seems to line up historically and right now English is getting the brunt of it. BTW, anime is already plural. A lot of Japanese words are like that where there isn't a plural form and singular-plural is purely context dependent. I don't think repeating names is technically bad grammar, although I'd definitely consider it rude, since it makes the subject sound like a third party. Similar for using third person to refer to yourself, not bad grammar, but unless you're being deliberately silly you sound like a pretentious ass.
Yeah, it's a misstranslation, but of the "different meaning depending on context" variety. This sounds to be "だめ", (dame) , which its literal translation is "no", or "not good" or "don't do that" depending on context. However, it's also used as an interjection, and it's quite oftenly used during sex as such, similar to "Oh, god!". This is actually something that can cause a bit of miscommunication between Japanese and non-Japanese in a sexual relationship at first, since the non-Japanese may think they've been asked to stop, when it actually isn't. For that, they'd use the expression やめてください (yametekudasaki, "please, stop"). I'll spare the details of why I know that... 🤣
@@XanderVJ See, if you had wanted to avoid spilling said details, you probably shouldn't have included that last line. However, for the rest of us, I think our guesses are ranging from "Japanese speaking significant other/spouse" to "Living near a Japanese couple with rather thin walls" to "My parents had thin bedroom walls and I want to purge those memories from my brain".
Im surprised not only by the fact that YamatoSFX was voicing his characters with his real voice, but also the fact that he was able to trick everyone else so easily
I kind of like the idea that kissing in the game is always perfect, meaning that reality can never compare. Now that Kirito has done it in the game, it's forever ruined in real life. It's like what happened with food, but instead of being comic, it's more tragicomic.
@@DeathLord6545 Not exactly. Typically, an isekai is defined as going from the real world to some extraordinary world (think SAO, Re:Zero, etc.). A reverse isekai, on the other hand is going from some fantasy world to the real world (think The Devil is a Part Timer, Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, etc.). Hope this helped!
7:06 "... but I sacrificed all of the sexual energy that starts to awaken in all boys around that age to immerse myself into games." This broke me. Especially when I realised this wasn't something they just ad-libbed in there. It's actually THERE! Thanks for uploading this SWE. You are lifesavers.
