Dear Daniel -forgive -a bit of an essay here ;-). I think it really is an unavoidably spiritual experience -mainly because you have no choice but to shed almost all your ego or have a massive 'ego overhaul' because you have to ditch so much of what you used to rely on to show up in the world to feel good, amongst others, stuff you never used to think about. But as you feel at your worst or around there, due to the sleep dep you just have to get used to getting out there & on with it no matter how you feel you look or come across. This changes a person. It's humbling. You realize alot of stuff, about society and what actually matters. It sort of strips you down to your essential self without any trimmings. And you have to love that. And people can also appreciate this because we often do still manage to shine, even more so sometimes and that is all that matters. We can be more honestly 'seen'. Also as you build back up it inevitably involves self-love, patience & kindness. And as you fantastic guys said, you really come to know yourself -because you realize ..all the pieces that were not working in your life, why you were barking up the wrong trees and what the right trees actually are!!!! Hope that makes sense. Was thinking about this on the bus home from work -having made it into the job I love but have almost so many times left recently due to my longest & worst phase of this. I'm working my way up out of the rabbit hole & actually had a wonderful day despite dry eyes & aching kidneys, obsessive sleep-fears that I am allowing to recognise & let go quiet. I know I am finally getting there...:) ..so much in thanks to you wonderful guys :)🌱🌅😽
Wow, this was a wonderful wonderful essay 😊 Please write more 🙂! Really, I believe all you said here is sooo true… have nothing to add but to say thank you. For being here, for sharing this and for all the kind words 🙏
@@lucylight176I enjoyed your essay very much. I am glad I found it. It’s so eloquently said and is very true. Thank you for spreading this message. How are you today?
MY PROBLEM IS WAKING UP AFTER 3 OR 4 HOURS AND BEING UNABLE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP. TRULY THE MOST HUMBLING EXPERINCE OF MY LIFE. AS I'M WRITING THIS I'VE ONLY SLEPT 2 HOURS AND HAVE TO GO IN AND DO AN 11 HOUR SHIFT. IM SO GLAD I FOUND THIS CHANNEL!!
@@lillianyoukhana8451 IM FULLY RECOVERED. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE HAVE A BAD NIGHT BUT THATS OK, ITS NORMAL, IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. JUST HAVE FAITH AND TRY TO RELAX, TRY NOT TO LET THINGS GET TO YOU. KEEP WATCHING THE VIDEOS ON THIS CHANNEL, THEY WILL HELP YOU. ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHERE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEIR RECOVERY. ONE THING THAT HELPED ME OUT THE MOST WAS GETTING INTO MY SPIRITUALITY. GOOD LUCK AND KNOW THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
In my sleeplessness I went to corners of my mind and heart I dont ever want to return to but I've escaped a better person. Through the sleeplessness you have to dig deep, be a student, parent, partner, professional, etc during the day even though you are kind of suffering. I totally resonate with the insomnia maybe having a purpose or at least lets reflect on this. It certainly made me want to be a better person bc I didn't want to take life for granted.
I too am grateful for my insomnia, and have always welcomed it as an opportunity for personal growth. I’m still working on anger management however: trying to stop being angry about familial facts I cannot change. Anyone else out there on a similar path…? 🤔
So true, be careful about the Facebook insomnia groups. They can be helpful to know you’re not alone but some people’s comments can be very triggering and terrifying
Great episode, such a positive vibe! And for me personally Betul I am glad finally hearing someone describing the same type of insomnia that I have. Where it's not really the problem of lying there awake all night but rather drifting into unconsciousness and coming out of that feeling just terrible. Never heard anyone who experienced that like me. It doesn't really matter at the bottom line it's all just hyperarrousal, but still, makes me feel less unique, which is a good thing when it comes down to insomnia 😊.
I’m so happy for her. I am making up my mind from now on to leave all my worries behind no matter what. I won’t worry even if I don’t get any sleep. I was scared I had hiv I did text it was negative. Was scared I had heart issues did ecg and X-rays everything is normal and fine. I won’t worry about sleeping anymore
Hi Daniel- loved this video! I had a similar experience with a kind of awakening due to insomnia. There were things about myself I didn't like and wanted to work on. When insomnia hit, I no longer seemed to focus on the petty and unimportant things that were causing minor issues between my husband and me. All I wanted to do was sleep, many other things became unimportant. So now I am much less critical and let a lot of things go, I am definitely a better person and like myself more. I can relate to Betul's journey...! I guess that's the silver lining.
Hi Pat!! Thanks so much for commenting and sharing 😊 This silver lining, I really want to talk more about this and really turn things on its head. Just like you learned so much, I think really anyone can! Be well Pat and stay in touch now!!!
Thanks Daniel! I’m so happy to share my insights and experiences so that others may be helped! Many times in life there are silver linings , you just have to be self aware and pay attention. All the best to you!
Hi Rochelle, This is a great way right here in the comments. I reply daily most days and also, the entire community benefits. Now of course it can feel like it would help to talk, but you know I think this isn’t actually as straightforward as it may seem. A lot of people ask me if they can call or do a consultation via video with me. And I’m really happy when people ask me this of course! But here is the thing, it can seem like if you can just have some minutes to talk with me then you could share everything that’s happened and I could share those insights that will pretty quickly lead you towards a place of sleeping great! In reality, you would probably feel great and very relieved just after we spoke. But soon after you have some more (new) questions and you would feel a need for another talk. So the reason I don’t do telephone or video consultations is that I don’t think it’s the most helpful. I think it’s much more helpful to have a curriculum and to have ongoing access to myself. So you can ask me a question any time! If you would like to work with me or a coach then head over to www.thesleepcoachschool.com and check what works best for you! This said, ALL the answers are available on the RU-vid channel and you can least comments there that I reply to pretty quickly.
Excellent story shared bu betul . Almost every suffering relates to me and various having trouble sleeping. People hardly know this strategy to solve this issue in my region , Punjab, India. Gratefully I found your channel and it certainly is a ray of hope for this issue which actually is self made . Want to be free from this trap and surely will. Much thanks
This episode is amazing!! My perspective with sleep has changed thanks to you , Coach Daniel! I’m more at peace.. it’s not the outcome, but the journey of presence.. I apply NATTO method to other struggles in my life.. and yes, it is a gift .. because I’m a much stronger person.. and have switched to a growth mindset.. vs stagnancy!
Wow! I’m soo glad to read this Perez! This is the transformation that I’m seeing is possibly when you’re willing to learn and look within. Well done 👍👍 and thanks a bunch for sharing. This made my day!!
Great episode Daniel!! Betuls story reminds a lot of my past struggles with sleep and very similar how I coped.I love people’s real life stories and how they’ve overcome there insomnia and Anxiety❤️it👍
Hi Mel, you know that’s what I’m so grateful for here.. many who have left the struggle chose to come back and stay in touch and help out. Glad you found us and hope you’ll find something that will help you here
Thanks for the episode Daniel. The struggle I have now is with poor superficial sleep. CBT-I has enabled me to sleep better in the sense I can now sleep to some extent rather than just lie awake all night stressing about sleep but my sleep is still very thin. My worrying is not with the insomnia so much now but with how I feel during the day. Most days I live my life with a hangover due to poor sleep. I never let this stop me from doing my job or things I love but it certainly is a struggle. I don't feel anxious after poor sleep or tired, drained or sleepy I just feel thick in the head and alittle spaced out. No change to nap. Go to bed between 11 and 12pm and up 6am 7 days a week. Never feel sleepy but do drop off within half hour of going to bed the wake up after 2hrs of good sleep. The rest of the night is then light dozing sleep and wide awake at 5.30am. Any suggestions how I might be able to improve things? Many Thanks.
Hi Richard (and Dawid). Thanks for sharing and commenting and you know, so much of this is familiar. I want to say well done for learning about CBTi, and I'm happy there's been some help. But often it can leave you thinking you have to manage sleep and you're not entirely free. One big step towards being free is seeing why there so much pain during the day. The fatigue, the exhastion and more.. Check out Insomnia insight 346, I think this is a really helpful one. Let us know how things go!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks Daniel. I have tightened my sleep window to 5 and half hours the last few days and this has helped me get out the rut which is a relief. The last few nights I have had a good solid 5hrs of deep sleep which is great. The problem is when I try and become more natural with my sleep thing s go down hill. For me a short sleep window is just a blunt instrument which forces me to sleep, I understand this and it makes sense to me. Years ago I could literally sleep at any time any where which may be why I am finding adjustment and acceptance so different.
Hi Richard! You know, I’m really glad to read that you’re sleeping without much struggle! Now the key is to see why. It may seem like it’s because you’re spending so little time in bed, but this really is just a tiny part of the story. Let me share an analogy! - Imagine this fictional person who is not willing to lose even a minute of sleep. That is completely unacceptable to them! They do anything they can and can think of to make sure they don’t lose a single minute of sleep. This person will have a ton of insomnia! Because imagine the pressure when you have to make sure you don’t lose even a minute of sleep. Imagine on the other hand a person that is ok with not sleeping much. They will actually sleep well because there’s no pressure at all. When you slept better, it was in fact because you were more willing to be awake at night. It may sound kind of odd that it always is that! Because even if you’re super sleepy, if you are very worried (in other words not willing to lose any sleep) then you still won’t sleep. So weird as it sounds, when you sleep well it is because you’re more OK with not sleeping well. You have started to become more like the second person. And when you become more unattached, when you are OK with having both a night of great sleep and a night a little sleep, then you truly are on the path towards never struggling with sleep again! - Now on a practical note, how do you go from where you are? I think the timeless way is great. Have the same wake up time, but stop checking the time like 8 hours before that for example. That way there’s not pressure, you don’t know the time, you don’t know when you fell asleep, you don’t track... this is a great step towards where things were before!
Great video Daniel congrats good job, , do you have any indicators how to improve sleep after sleeping 3 -4hours at night, and the rest of night stay Awaken...?
Hi Dawid and thanks for the support! It's really always the same, you know, when you try to sleep or look for a way to make sleep happen, then the brain thinks being awake is bad and should be avoided. So there's more trouble. When you wake up after some hours, and you do something you like to do, then you teach the brain that it's ok to be awake.... and then sleep happens! It's all about teaching the brain that you are safe, even when you're awake.
Hi coach Daniel. I have been struggling for 2.5 years and I've hit rock-bottom with insomnia. I am reaching out for help. I don't know what to do anymore. I am not sure how much longer i can go on. I feel hopeless when it comes to sleep.
Aron, I’m so so sorry to read these lines today… it must be an incredibly difficult place, and of course, always talk to your doctor when concerned about your health. But do know that so so many of the guests in these videos would recognize themselves in what you said here… even when it feels hopeless and impossible, that doesn’t keep us from arriving where we want to be. Hang in there and let us know how things go Aron. Rooting for you
Please don’t lose hope. It DOES get better. I went through horrible insomnia a while back to the point where I was suicidal. Long story… I recovered and so can you. Everyone’s stories on this channel is also my story. So when you think you’re the only one and your brain is broken, it’s not. You have to hang on.
It’s so interesting to see how so many people fall into the same traps and habits when facing insomnia. This is the first time I have actually heard someone describe the issue I suffered with originally. I would sleep for 7-8 hours a night having such vivid dreams that seemed to be constant. Id wake up and after a few hours I would go to sleep again. At one point I was sleeping 15 hours on and off but feeling so exhausted. I have no idea what this phenomenon is and it was genuinely scary as I thought I had SFI but as quickly as this started, for me the traditional insomnia started up which is when I really started to relate to this channel. Thank you and great conversation. (Btw is it common for stress and anxiety to cause hypersomnia aswell as insomnia?)
Jake, it’s remarkable how you always learn things! This is something I’m picking up here in the comments, insomnia isn’t necessarily sleeping little, but just having this hyperarousal infused sleep. Very important to think about when I create content and teach. Thanks for pointing to this!! And I think many things can happen that manifests in hyoersomnia. It can be so fragmented sleep because of hyperarousal that you feel sleepy, or you go from being in fight or flight to “giving you” and feeling hopeless and being hypoaroused. Both can explain this, not uncommon at all!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 In all honesty Daniel, I’ve thought about this an awful lot recently. I’ve suffered with traditional insomnia as well as this hypersomnia issue. You have really got to the core of it with the phrase “hyperarousal infused sleep”, as this must be the cause of it. I know it’s best not to concern yourself with how much deep sleep or R.E.M. sleep you get as it’s out of ones control, however I distinctly remember when I suffered from this hypersomnia, I would have so many vivid dreams, one after the other. Almost as if my entire time I spent a sleep was in R.E.M. sleep. Then I found something rather profound, a whole forum of 20-30 people who described suffering from this. One individual even described quitting there job because of it. It was mentioned that certain anti physcotic medications had certain effects, but as this is not a recognised medical condition there is little information. I believe hyperarousal can still allow people to fall asleep, but the sleep is of extremely poor quality, with little deep sleep and frequent awakenings. I remember once sleeping for 12 hours from 8PM-8AM and fell asleep stood up in the shower so I know this is a very real issue. I would be so thankful if you could potentially explore this idea more, thank you for the work you do. (By the way the lessons on this channel still apply to many individuals suffering from hypersomnia caused by hyperarousal as well as traditional insomnia). Thank you 🙏.
I believe this is a thing, 100%, and many of not all of those 20-30 people I believe could do really well if they would find meaningful education... we will get there!! Be well Jake and thanks for the support!
I’ll let Jake reply of course but, just want to add, I’ve had many clients who mostly slept 7-8 hours but where still scared of not sleeping, and it affected them, I think if this fear of not sleeping as insomnia
Hi Daniel, my issue is not falling asleep for hours hours and getting say paradoxical 1 hour? or not at all for days on end. Can you offer any advice? Thank you 🙏
Hi Sam! You know, waiting for sleep is like waiting for anything else, the more we wait the longer it feels! When you wait for milk to boil it takes forever! But step away for a second and you return to a burnt mess! It’s the same with sleep. Waiting for sleep is very frustrating and it takes forever for sleep to happen. Do something else, something with no intent, something you just feel like, and sleep comes to you easily. In other words, when you turn wakefulness from a liability into an asset, when you look forward to getting the opportunity to do something you like, when wakefulness becomes your friend, then you’re no longer waiting and sleep can happen easily.
Sir, I really appreciate all the contents that you are sharing. I struggle with falling asleep because I become too much aware at the time when I'm about to drift off. What should I do please help me out and I'm ready to follow whatever instruction there is.
Glad you’ve found it helpful! We can this Hypnic awareness, it’s similar to sleep jerks. Understanding and then letting go is in summary what helps so much, here’s a playlist that explores this in detail! ru-vid.com/group/PL6RQ1GS7B1ci1B__oGwLvLaJ9Da1lmIKs
I have chronic insomnia from 5 months started of with taking prednisone fr 12 days I’m now worried it’s the same but can ppl with insomnia get married and have a normal family life ? Hard to decide
Hang in there - we teach that many many things can disrupt sleep, but only our fear of not sleeping leads to insomnia. And when that fear is gone, we can live a truly free life
It would be really helpful if at some point in this long discussion that you could explain to the audience what is was in the end which helped you to sleep. What was it? Is it only acceptance, because that doesn't seem to be very helpful to me having also struggled with sleeplessness for the past two years or more. I have had many times in my life not been able to drift off to sleep and also many times awake in the early hours, but at least I think that I did get mostly more than 4 hours sleep a night. So how do you ever get back to that state? Please explain rather than just an endless discussion with no apparent conclusion.
Hi Diana, I totally hear how frustrating it can be when there’s no tangible thing to “do”. Which is why there’s so much of a discussion here… but you know, hang in there, learn from these interviews and I think you’ll find things get easier.
Haha yes we often try that one. It’s just intent - when we fake it with the intent to achieve sleep, that’s effort… but if we call doing what we like without factoring in sleep, that can help lead us away from effort
My major issue is not getting back to sleep in the middle of the night - go to sleep 10.30 wake up 2 - go to sleep 12 o'clock wake up 4 ish -any thoughts
Coach can you please give me the top tips to beat this episode of insomnia I'm going through? I have a pretty good sleep hygiene. I work graveyard so i go to bed at 4:30am and wake up at 11:30. I don't really have problems going to sleep but i wake up after a few hours and can't go back. Could you please share some words of wisdom and some knowledge cause I'm sick and tired of this.
Yes! 1. Skip sleep hygiene and enjoy some Netflix! Sleep hygiene is basically just a laundry list of dos and donts that imply that sleep can be controlled. They so easily become a source of anxiety and worry. I’m talking about avoid coffee or screens and not eating this or going to bed the same time. This really are a big part of the problem! 2. Education When you understand how sleep is regulated, you understand the gas and brake model, you understand how thoughts are fleeting except when we try to make them go away. When you have this foundation of knowledge, then that really sets you in the right path! 3. Go timeless If the only reference is your alarm, and you don’t know what time you go to bed, you don’t track anything, this helps a ton! Those are some big ones!
Hi! There really are no rules, when we sleep well, it’s because we have not rules and don’t pay attention to how much we sleep etc. This said, it can help to have some structure when there’s been a struggle! I think what helps most people is to decide upon a rise time in the morning and get up about the same time, but not to go to bed based on the clock, but rather what you feel like. And it also helps to not know the time after a certain point an be timeless!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 i followed your advice yesterday and there was some improvement. Kicked the alarm clock out of my room. Kept listening to my podcast long past my usual cut off time even opened the fridge despite previously being afraid of the fridge's light waking me up. I just didn't give a fucc and it felt good. I will keep you updated. Thank you for taking the time to get back to me.
hi daniel,how are you?plz make a video step by step how we can overcome on insomnia ,one day i sleep 3,4 hours amd second day nothing awake whole night,how can i overcome ,i live in spain,2 years lack of sleep i like memory problems and concentration focus plz tell me what can i eat and what i have to avoid,all things plz tell me very thankyyoy and sorry for my poor english,racing thought throuh out day hopeless all these things make me more every day helpless and like anxiety deprrssed
Hi Ali, sorry to hear what’s happening but glad you found the channel. I wish there could be a simple step by step way, but you know, in reality it’s a sort of messy process. But that doesn’t mean it’s complicated, it’s all about learning to release those attempts to control sleep. Here, listen to these playlists, I think this will help a lot! This is natto - the perfect place to start learning! ru-vid.com/group/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you. ru-vid.com/group/PL6RQ1GS7B1cj68v9hdoXYv_fpOR65oI3U
@@philthyrich1433 I am only 2 days out from discovering this channel, but so far have slept the last 2 nights for about 4-5 hours which is much more than I normally could with the insomnia starting. I have also started lexapro though so we will see how that works with things. I am only 3 days in
Hi Gabriella, thanks so much for the interest 🙂! I don’t do 1:1 work generally, however because Coach Alina is on vacation, you can sign up for BedTyme (it’s on the app story) and you’ll be assigned to me. Now if you want to talk to someone, check our website and the 1;1 program that Coach Michelle runs!
Hi Daniel, if I am having 0-3hrs for 3 nights and 7-10 hrs of sleep for the others nights in a week, would you suggest me using the bedtime restriction method? Or is this the yoyo phase that you mentioned and I should just let it be? I had 0 hrs of sleep last night and I am getting frustrated. Thank you so much again for answering my questions!
Hi Aaron, You know, letting things be is really always the answer, but there are things one can do that makes it a little easier! I would say check in on the pendulum method! Episode 386, this I think could help a lot! I think it helps to sort of get up the same time every morning just to not chase sleep, and maybe not give yourself more than like 8 timeless hours where sleep can happen, but restriction I think can be a little strict. The only thing we want to restrict is fear!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you Daniel, that makes a lot of sense. I think 10 hours of sleep is definitely a little too much becuz I wanted to chase sleep. Thanks again!
@@johnmonk3381 Hi John, thank you for sharing your experience! I think you are totally right. Restricting the time in bed for 6-7 hours is definitely a sensible thing to do. I hate tossing and turning in the bed as well and 3 hours of sleep won't actually affect my energy level for the day but it definitely affects my mood. Thanks again! i will try not to sleep too much and chase sleep.
@@johnmonk3381 hi John! So happy you found your sweet spot and are sleeping again! You know what’s funny, along with my many other realizations (and insights with Coach Daniel)- I realized some nights I don’t fall asleep right away too may be because I’m getting too much rest the night before. I’ve started setting my alarm at the same time every morning and that’s helped as well. So funny how you and I have had the same experiences these past few weeks! So nice to see you doing well 🤗☺️
Hi! No, only our thoughts produce insomnia, it comes from fear. For example, the fear that you got insomnia from blood transfer, that fear can cause a lot of trouble sleeping!
I’ve had an equally irrational fear that my insomnia stemmed from the recent “pandemic” OR from the (“free”!) intervention both provided and required by the country I now live in. Silly me, right? 🤔
I am happy for her' but seems not to be a real long-suffering insomniac. lifelong pretty hopeless insomniacs like me and many others. I would love to have been cured but at 48 its a longshot bad health taking its toll because of it. Have not been productive in years. Disabled
Hi there Xavier, Hang in there and if you browse the channel, you’ll find stories like that if Beth who had insomnia for 42 years, Leighton for 20 years and many others who left the struggle
Hang in there, most in our community has a similar insomnia experience to yours vivid times. But you know, many also have this hyper sleep experience, and the fear around it can consume every waking minute, it can be just as brutal as any fears we have…
