Married for 4 years...I watched this video and about two weeks later my husband pushed the lawn mower up on a trailer then stood back and burped... :) ...I rolled my eyes, smirked and said "you're such a guy". He lit up and was on cloud nine for the rest of the day...something to it!
I always thought of myself as a tomboy around guys and never really had any girl friends. There was this one guy who was really nice to me and kind of treated me like a girl and one day I said "You make me feel like a woman" it just came out and in a way he really did. He said that's the best compliment he's ever got!
I actually say something similar. "You are all man" "My Protector" and "I'm so incredibly lucky that you picked me" Not only does it boost him up but it's 110% true and I love saying it. I found a man that I can/want to be vulnerable around.
My boyf was telling me about a time he saw his ex after he'd lost weight, he said 'oh her loss' - i put my hand on his chest and said ' my gain' 😉 that put a big smile on his face!
I had a huge crush on one of my friends who I later found out had a girlfriend. Honestly, the news was devasting to me for three days on end. And somehow, not sharing my feelings was now starting to kill me even more than before I found out he had a girlfriend. I debated telling him how I felt. I didn't want to be disrespectful to him, or even his girlfriend. But like I said, not telling him was really starting to knife itself into my gut. I became more nervous and sensitive around him. It just wasn't normal. I think he even noticed. He asked if I was okay several times. I just kept brushing him off those three days. Finally, I knew what I had to do. I had to tell him. However, I also made another decision: I was going to tell him, while also respecting the girl he's dating. No matter if it meant losing him as a friend or not. So, that's what I did. The next time I saw him, I said, "Hey, sooo ( his name ), I've had a crush on you for weeks and I know you have a girlfriend, but I really just wanted to share with you that I think you're a really awesome guy and she's one really lucky girl to have you. Hope we can still be friends because, well, you're awesome!" And, we're still friends! Not only was I able to get my feelings off my chest, but being honest with him and doing it in a way that made it clear I wanted to respect him and his relationship also allowed me to not only feel better, but to even get over him! He's still an awesome dude, but now I just live in acceptance and the full confidence that there are more wonderful guys out there and that I'm not alone in my journey. 💕😝 DON'T WORRY LADIES, YOUR MAN IS STILL OUT THERE. SO IS MINE. LET'S NOT GIVE UP ON HIM AND KEEPING BEING OUR SEXY CLASSY SELVES!!!!
lol so true...his hair is so sexy, his confidence is sexy, his voice, his body, so hot! and you know he knows how to play coy when he flirts with women
Roxanne Lewis i am a man. and i have to be honest. i have mixed feelings about what this guy has to say. the first one i would personally find insulting. we men have had to deal with non-stop stereotyping for decades now. and who wants to be stereotyped? that's right. nobody. i am a special unique person. and in a relationship, i want to be appreciated as special and unique. just as any woman would. so on this one, matt is completely off base. rather than say something like "you're such a guy", be a bit playful. tease him. get him to tease you back. have fun with it. create a bit of tension. and it will probably result in physical intimacy of some kind. when girlfriends have playfully teased me about this or that, it gains respect from me for them, especially if they do it in a way that's kind. kindness and gentleness is such a huge turn on for us men. it's raw feminine energy at its core. and it drives us wild. so try that instead of rolling your eyes in some sort of dismissive stereotypical manner. the second compliment you can pay a man is absolutely spot on but ONLY if you mean it. men and women are biologically hard wired to take care of each other in different ways. i've had girlfriends tell me before that they i made them feel safe (who i knew meant it)....and it hit me like a ton of bricks. in a good way. all i wanted to do was put my arms around them and hold them and caress them and let them know they absolutely break down and i would be there to pick up the pieces. BUT we men are far more astute than women ever give us credit for (see stereotypes that paint men are sex-crazed morons incapable of thinking with our heads and hearts rather than our penises). just as you all would turn up your brow at a man paying you a compliment that your gut tells you isn't authentic, so too do we. some of us go along with it. others will call you out on it. personally, i greet inauthentic or manipulative compliments with derision. and i usually back the girl into a corner to defend herself. if for no other reason than to remind her that she's delusional to think i can be manipulated like that (which is usu why women dole out insincere compliments). so there's that. matt is completely off base on the third compliment. it is a dumbass thing to say all around. just don't do it. you feel bad for other women that they don't have me? do you want them to have me? where are you going with this? lol. also, i personally feel a little objectified at this sort of statement. it makes it seem like chemistry between two people doesn't matter. that men and women can just be thrown together and things will work out. that's what the "compliment" implies. if you want to actually make this one count, tell your guy that you feel grateful to be with such a wonderful man. and that you appreciate him just for being him. not for what he does for you. or can do for you. simply because of his masculine presence and his special place in your life. done. simple. straight forward. and very effective. so let's review: compliment 1- horseshit. see revision statement. compliment 2- spot on if you mean it. otherwise avoid. and compliment 3- you are being duped by biceps and hair and a cute smile. pay this compliment no mind. it also horseshit. you will go really really far with men if you are straight forward but also kind, tactful, and gentle. just as we would go far if we were that way with you all. ok? hope that helps. happy holidays to you all!
I find myself keep coming back to Matthew's advice online! it's been 3 years since I stopped watching him and just came back to binge on him yesterday, and ladies, I can tell you that his philosophy ages fine like wine.
I love this because I am a very strong woman and I like to do everything on my own but today I had a soft moment where I was at the gym and my shoe laces got caught on the bike pedal and I couldn't get it off and a guy that I really like but could never tell him help me and I told him in a joking matter wow thank you , I was trapped and you rescue me , thanks he said ohh your welcome it was nothing and I said I am glad that you wore here and that you have such manly powers . immediately his chest got big and said well working out pays , before I knew it we wore naturally flirting and he asked me out , we been together for a few weeks and I realize that I was using the whole strong women as a wall , there is no such thing I am a women strong has nothing to do with it.
It's not possible to say 'you're such a man/bloke/guy/geezer' in your language? lol. Surely there's something that you could say that would mean roughly the same thing?
curt - if you don't want it to sound slightly insulting or give it an ironic touch i can't think of a way. alessia facchin - german. the language of harsh people without humor ;)
The first two will never work on my bf. We're both scientists and approach everything logically so if I say 'you're such a guy' and roll my eyes, he'd be like 'what do you mean?' and then we'll end up having a long (and interesting) discussion about how his behaviour was conditioned socially or by genes. If I say, I feel safe around you, he'd be like 'Why do you feel unsafe without me? Do you think you have some kind of subconscious fear? What could it be?' etc. haha. The last one is not bad though :)
I actually do feel bad for other woman who doesn't get to spend time with my boyfriend, I think he's the greatest man on earth. And these compliments just comes out easily and I don't pretend at all when I'm using these compliments. The thing is, you need to stop thinking that you're manipulating man to like you, just be sincere and loving and these will come out easily
astaliini I guess the difference is how he meant it and how you feel about what you just did when he said it. If you like how you are and like to be a woman then it shouldn't be insulting.
I remember I was trying to lift some heavy boxes in work but was struggling so shamelessly asked my guy colleague to help me. He lifted them without any problems (obviously as he is a guy lol) and without thinking I said 'ohh - you're so strong!' And instantly I could tell he loved hearing it and was all like, well thankyou... Later asked me out! I wasn't giving out many signals though and ended up turning him down, but I realised making a guy feel manly really works as his attitude towards me changed after I told him that!
Yeeeeeah.... No. If I told my man "You're such a guy", he would imply I was insulting him. LoL Seriously. I actually DID say "I feel really safe around you", and he broke out the mat and started teaching me self defense! LoL WHY? Because he wanted me to feel safe WITHOUT him too! LOL And the "feeling bad" thing, seriously. I'd probably be told I don't get out enough. LoL
i can relate to him teaching you selfdefence after you said you felt safe around him. because you saying that kind of implies, that you do not feel safe on your own, which can be helped well by teaching you self-defence.
I love this comment!!! sounds a bit like my boyfriend. only thing he loves the whole you're such a guy and you make me feel safe but still wants to teach me boxing. and I would only say and have said that I'm the luckiest girl but he always says no you're the best. he's awesome makes me feel lovely
Thank you Matthew. My ex who woundn't talk to me even after a month of no contact was turned on when I sent him #2. He called me after 3minutes and asked me out for coffee. We are back again together and this time the bond is even stronger. I know he likes such compliments and I oh yeah, do my best to give him the right dose. Thank you once more.
Thank you. Ill use these, but a bit nervous about the third, cause that really means I put myself out there and reveal how much interest I really have and that can truly backfire if he is not there yet emotionally.
The first one - interesting. The second one - don't remember the last time a guy made me feel safe, but I suppose if I ever meet a keeper, I'd say it out loud. The last one is BS!! I swear, the moment I give compliments like that to guys these days, they'll overthink it, assume that I'm "too into them" and lose interest. Give me a break!!
I started watching your videos because I heard great things... A couple videos in, I got realllllllly into it. I started taking notes and re-watching the videos to make sure I got as much out of it as I could. To be honest, I watch one everyday just to stay on my "A game." Let me tell you this... IT WORKS! I'm 19 and never in a million year did I think I would use dating advice from RU-vid, but I'm sure glad I did. I have met so many amazing guys lately and my self esteem has sky rocketed. I rekindled an old relationship and it is completely different this time around. He respects me, calls me when he should, and essentially worships the ground I walk on.--(in a good way of course) I am a huge fan and I thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us girls. I hope more people discover this amazing gift to get them the guy they deserve!
This sounds simple and yet it is a great reminder to many, many of us how it is important to make other people around us feel special. I personally often forget about this. I forget that no smiles and looks and hugs or other acts can in fact replace a sincere compliment. Neither with men, not with women. Neither for love life, not for all other kinds of relationship. Many women below say they would feel hypocritical or the men would think them hypocritical or stupid if they said so to their men. If you feel lying - don't say it. First, feel it to him without being way too much demanding and asking for impossible for a man to deserve your appreciation. Then, if you feel it - why not to tell? If he never, never, never makes you feel safe - why do you want to be with this guy? Yes, true, these particular formulas may not always work in all the languages (I am not an English native speaker myself). Nor with all the men, I guess. Then, be creative, change the words a bit but transfer the meaning. If you feel it. Even if it does not tight dozens of men to you right away this habit (or strategy, but in a good meaning of this word :-)...) will just make you a nicer and more appreciative person to be around. Isn't it an advantage in itself?
Thank you ~ Lovely advice ~ Although these are compliments I have given my man for years, because that is how I feel and that is what he deserves to hear, it's always nice to find out that I've been doing something right.
Matt Hussey, you´re such a guy! You really make me feel safe for the tipps and insights and the fun and challenging ways you do this. I feel so bad for everybody who has never met you in some way! :) Seriously ;)
I was having a bad day at work. I sent my boyfriend a text that basically said: One of the things I love most about you is that whenever I'm with you I seem to be able to forget all the things that stress me out. So now when I'm stressed I can just close my eyes and lose myself for a minute in thoughts of being with you, whether its just sleeping next to you or the, umm, other things we do. You have no idea how much I appreciate that about my time with you.
sometimes you do all these things but the guy doesnt do them equaly and for example flirts in front of you with other women. It has happened to me. Then I felt insecure. I couldn't lie that I felt secure and I moved on without him
Maybe he is flirting to see if you care or maybe he is just a rude man because that is very disrespectful to flirt with others while you are on a date but you should never let him know that you feel insecure . you should just brake up with this guy but if not you should explain to him how he makes you feel and if he does it again act like a lady and leave him with the people he is flirting with out saying anything and go have a good time with out him , if he is worth your time he will see how he was wrong and if he doesn't you just saved yourself and time.
A.Sujeily Pena Ohh and be interesting , I am sure you are but don't talk about negative things or work , be positive and full of joy , no one wants to hear sad stories when you are out . so have fun and show him what he will be missing.
okaai idk how i got to this video. But, wow the second and third are so embarrassing; I'd feel very shy saying something like "You make me feel safe" with a straight face. My heart'd be throbbing out of my chest and it'd be soo hard to say such a "heartfelt" thing.
My god dont be shy...you will get the opportunity to say it...hell mine came the same day after watching this video. He was helping me on a machine, i was worried about crashing and he said 'dont worry i got you' and then i said 'its ok im feeling safe'..wasnt exactly word for word but close enough. The opportunity will present its self again, have fun and play with it..practice on your friends 'have a go'
Hussey is so right. Yes, these compliments made me chuckle, seriously lol. But men do love hearing these things. Saying stuff like this and truly meaning it, works.
I have used all those compliments with my boyfriend over the past 2 years I've known him. I sincerely believe all of them of him. That's the key...sincerity. If you don't believe it, he'll know. BTW, he is the best in giving me compliments and treating me like a queen :-).
SO TRUE! people don't feel like being with someone who makes them feel not "super special". Usually men brake up with "powerful/beautiful" girls to stay with someone "less" attractive, so to speak. maybe because these "normal" girls act in a more natural way that makes the guys feel special and powerful. Just loved this. thanks Matthew!
I agree compliment and make them feel good. Don't knock dwn but instead challenge, that's wht I think. I knw I'd like tht for myself. So why no do it for others ...
Good work! Not too much compliments but more than knockdowns! I can assure you if this man is a little bit attracted by you and you too! You got him if it's a nice man (be sure about him ) ! Don't just fumble! From a male who'd love to hearing these as we're not accustomed to
I said something similar to my best friend. I told him I know he would never hurt me or let me do anything that would hurt me. He adamantly replied that he would not. Okay, not quite a boyfriend, & not quite the same words, but I think close enough.
This so made me laugh. :) The only man that comes to my mind when Matthew talks about it is my trainer. He IS such a male, no doubt about it. He makes me feel safe, because he trains me hard and has an interest in my well being. And I DO feel bad for the other females when I get him to train with me for half an hour to an hour, because I'm the one getting his attention, no one else is. What a perfect relationship! :))) I just didn't realise it was right under my nose, lol. Don't think I'll be asking him out the though. I'd rather keep him as my trainer, he gets me results!!!!
I never thought about the first one, but as a girl - and even as a person who doesn't usually dress feminine, I really like it though when a guy notice my femininity! I have never thought about that 😊 But it makes really good sense that a guy likes when his guy-traits are noticed 😊❤ Thank you for the video. Lovely things to become aware of 😊🌷🙏
I used to tell my ex bf “you’re such a guy” and he would question me as to what that meant and then lectured me about how that was “sexist”. Thank you for clearing my head on this because he was just ridiculous!
The opposite of not KA all the time is not putting someone down. There is a healthy middle ground. First never tell someone something that Is a lie, it allows people to remain in denial. If someone makes you feel completely insecure or anything other then good about YOURSELF please do not say they make you feel good and lucky to be in their company that would only reinforce bad behavior. Find something they do that is a behavior you want to see more of then truthfully compliment. This is especially true if you have any other young girl who looks to you for guidance, the last thing you want them to learn from you is how to be a good liar. At the worst end of that stick, you could be teaching them to accept poor treatment for themselves and be grateful for it.
actually i always praised my guy and made him feel good about himself. and guess what, he really did try to cheat on me. so i really don't know what i should do now..
Kang Stephanie Learn from that experience. Choose to take care of yourself first because he's failed to do that. Set your standards high and identify your list of "non-negotiables". If cheating is part of that list, then kick him out of your life. You deserve better.
I'm well ahead of the curve. I actually did tell a man I felt safe with him because fit the first time I actually did. Well he turned away for a brief moment. He later told me it made him feel soo good he teared up for a moment.
One of my late husband’s favorite things was when I’d roll my eyes and huff, “Men!” in exasperation at something he’d done. I liked it because I could vent a little, and he’d be chuffed because he felt manly. He’d just glow and puff up and I’d laugh.
Hey, not only are you very cute, ....you are a very smart man. I really like the advice that you give. Very well done. I really do like that 3rd point too.
...one more thing! Do you have to say "I feel so special that I have you and no other woman gets to have you", or what I say all the time to my man "I'm so damn lucky to be with you, there isn't a day goes by that I'm not happy that I ended up with you", and damn do I mean it! He's awesome! That way it's more of a mutually reciprocal thing, rather than making it about him being more attractive to other women, which to me is a negative compliment. Why do other women have to come into it?
Thank you so much for these tips. I never have trouble finding men my problem has been keeping them. I have had issues with not making them feel like a man (typical miss independent) I am about to start dating again and I will be using these!!!
Mat this is really working,I said to the guy I am seeing that I really feel safe around you and guess wot his interest in me just got to a different level and the reaction was amazing he called me to say he is busy n wrking next day and he asked me out on date:))))) you are incredible love you xxx
Good advice...I'd like to add that the compliments should be Genuine and based on Truth & Reality...we should not falsely flatter people to make them feel good around us, that tends to backfire because people 'read' each others intentions instinctively.
Hm, I really like the "I feel safe around you" one, as that feels honest. However the other two, while I see their validity, they do not feel... true to me? At least how I operate. For example I wouldn't say "you're such a guy" because even if he takes it as a compliment, the rhetoric is that that's a bad thing and simplifying him to a male-female binary. I understand that he may like it, but I feel like I'd be compromising my own ... semantics if I were to say that. Similarly, with "I feel bad for everyone else they're not with you", well, I guess I would adjust the wording on that personally, saying "I hope that someday they're able to be with someone who makes me feel safe/good/etc. as you do for me". Maybe that's cheesy or overdoing it, and I'd be curious to hear thoughts on that. But to me that feels more authentic. I see the playful edge that the provided examples give, but I guess there are some word choices I'd like to ponder. I don't know, thoughts? (and I think it's fine if other people use these terms, this is good advice, but from how I operate I'm a little hesitant with the wording for *myself*)
This is along the lines of what I was thinking...not trying to skimp on the compliments, but I just didn't like the way the other two sounded. If a person can pull it off, great, but for me it just doesn't feel right. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
I'm just the opposite. No's. 1 and 3 are easy, but, "I feel safe around you?'" I'm not quite sure what Matthew means by that. It could be taken as either physically safe or emotionally safe. And when exactly should you say it? I guess walking through a dark parking lot with him or watching a scary movie. It would have to be context appropriate, wouldn't it? Just to say it out of the blue would be kind of weird.
Hi, Matthew. Can you please make a video about when it is the right time or when it is too early to say "I love you" to your significant other? Or if you already did, when did you make it?
U r awesome! I saw some things I have been doing very right, and some VERY wrong, lol. What you have said is very real, and true! Can't wait to try out the last one you mentioned! Thank you! You are awesome!!!!
p.s. I don't tell my S.O. about discovering you, because then he won't likely ever discover where I get all the genius ideas that help me make him feel like he just clubbed the beast and dragged it into the cave. Everything in our relationship gets better when I make sure he feels like that every day. You're the best, Matthew.
Amazing! I needed to smile this morning, and that did it for me. :) I wanted to try this little experiment at work, to see how it plays out, also will try to do the experiment your mom does on negative people,"can I make this person smile." I have been watching your videos they always uplift me and instill hope. Thank you so much!
It's not that they leave you if you build them up, it's that they think they are so amazing and their shit don't stink. Since guys' egos don't allow them to be introspective and self-correcting, feeding their ego too much creates self-righteous assholes.
I liked the idea of "You're such a guy" or "that is such a man thing to say", because we know that men love what is different about women to men, that's why they love us so much. Women equally love what is different about men to women. We like the good manly qualities...so what is so wrong about saying "oh! You're such a man". Yeah, I get it! I mean, isn't part of the excitement about exploring what is different about men and women? As I've always said...I don't want to be in a relationship where the guy is just like me (as a woman). By that I don't mean that a man can't have a feminine side or a feminine personality, just that he has characteristics that are different to me as a woman. That he embraces what makes him a man, in whatever form that comes :-). I love men, I really do!
Gosh when I used to say to my man, you are the only man I know that could wear a dress and high heals and still be the most manliest man in the room... He must have loved that!!
Now I know how to insult guys I'll say 'you're such a girrrrllll' I hate it when guys, who I don't like me, like me back and guys I have a crush on have no interest in me.
I agree with Matthew when he talks about how some women can avoid allowing men feel too good about themselves in an attempt to keep them in that relationship. To me it is akin to how some guys try to "neg" a girl in order to make her compete for his attention. its usually a misogynistic flirting technique they learned from a-hole pick up artist/ dating coach!
I say that you're such a typical guy and roll my eyes for the first one... the others are literally for purpose of appreciation.. if there are any more... please suggest them
If you go out dancing, like I used to all the time....I would go up to the guy I thought was the best looking man at that place, touch him on the shoulder, usually have to tell him, "I'm down here" because I am so short; then ask him to come to my level. Then in an almost whisper say, "You are the best looking man in this whole place!" Now that was who I considered the best looking, not all women like the type of guys I do (tall, but shy), but that is my type. So, I'd whisper it barely loud enough for him to hear, then walk away and sit back down with my friends. That guy would get this grin on his face then come up to me, bend down to my level and ask me, "What did you just say?" I'd repeat it and it worked every time I did it. I dated the three guys I did that to for more than 2 years for 2 guys and 1 year for the other! It works and it really works if you mean it as I did.
