Patreon - / strelochka
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0:00 Greetings!
0:06 Avoidant type of attachment = fear of intimacy
Intimacy= when you can say ALL your thoughts and emotions
0:40 Every time there is another closing of distance in a relationship, you feel an influx of unconscious fear that may make you want to distance yourself
1:04 Unconscious fear:
1. To run away - to increase the distance
2. The person has become "indifferent"
the relationship is abruptly unnecessary
3. I want to criticize the person
(to look for excuses why he/she is not suitable for me)
1:25 How to heal the avoidant type of attachment and turn avoidant intimacy into safe intimacy
1. Realize your fear of intimacy
2. Inform your partner that you have an avoidant attachment type
4:53 The source of avoidant attachment is traumatic experiences of intimacy in childhood:
Emotional maintenance by parents
Emotional incest
Narcissistic exploitation
Parents did not show empathy for you
Fear of intimacy is a defense against helplessness
As a child, you had no right to regulate your relationship with your parents
6:36 3. You need to learn to actively regulate your relationship
6:46 4. We need to learn to give feedback instead of avoiding it!
7:10 Overcome the shame and fear of expressing all your emotions toward a person:
anger
fear
shame
guilt
love
curiosity
7:26 In relationships, we need to learn:
ask
refuse
to conflict
8:14 The trap of avoidance: "I have to be perfect in a relationship"
10:04 The demolition of intimacy: an opportunity to enjoy both the things we have in common (what we have in common, what we share) and the differences we have in common (such as our individuality)
11:00. 5. Choose people who do not need to exploit you - this will make it easier to make sure that they are interested in you, not in what you can give
7 июн 2024
