The Believer's Heaven - The Cinema Snob 

"Grindhouse religious films." I don't think those words have ever been strung together in that particular order before today.

Pirkle has the hair of an old LEGO guy.

For some reason Estus sounds way less invested and sincere when he's not describing the suffering of others.

Mr. Snob/Brad, I know no one cares, but I have to thank you. After 32 years of marriage, my father died and my mother had a stroke 3 months later, effecting her speech. It's been rough, but your Pirkle videos made her laugh so much, she cried. My brother and I would have to rewind a few times, from laughing over the next bit. So, yeah, anyway..Thank you.

Estus Pirkle grew up on the set of "Child Bride"? That explains so much.

Good thing they put 'motion' in "A Most Astonishing Motion Picture" on the poster, I was afraid we'd have another Santa's Christmas Elf Named Calvin on our hands

“It’s been a while since I’ve been terrified of my own death in the fiery pits of Hell only after being dismembered by a roaming pack of communists.” -Brad Jones, 2018

I love how 95% of this thing isn't even biblical. He's just making stuff up. It's like Estus got all his information from Tom and Jerry cartoons.

3:00 - Are you sure these aren't porn movies? "If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?" should be greatest porn film title ever.

"From South America. Africa. Asia..." "Uhm - do you know any non-white people we could hire as extras for this scene?" "OF COURSE NOT!"

How is it that even when Perkle's talking about Heaven, he talks the exact same way he does when he's warning you about burning in Hell?

The last chapter in Pirkle's Divine Comedy. Let's see if his trek through Heaven is as insane as his journey through Hell and Purgatory.

Sorry, but I go into Monty Pythons heaven. Because I want Christmas every day and jaws on tv 😉

As an employee of Sears, i can confirm that our photo booths do in fact look like heaven.

Estes 3: The Perkeling.

Interestingly enough, the Cinema Snob's theology may actually be more sound and traditional than Estus Pirkel's. Pirkel envisions a heaven of clouds and... well, basically just clouds. Brad says "Estus took a wrong turn on his way to the garden of Eden." Life in the garden of Eden, a restoration of all things, more closely resembles the promise of Christian salvation than the harps & clouds stereotype that we see in the film. Basically, what I'm saying is that Brad has a more intuitive understanding of proper Christian eschatology than this two-bit fundamentalist who gives the tradition a bad name.

The singing dwarf woman makes me wonder what a David Lynch movie about Christianity would be like.

Jesus, Bro 2 should be about Rick teaming up with Craig Golightly to make a movie, mirroring the Pirkle and Ormond partnership.

Part 27 in our ongoing series, Why I Don't Like Telling People I'm from the South. ...at least Roy Moore lost.

You can take the director out of exploitation, but you sure can’t take the exploitation out of the director.

"Jacob as a boy Greg Pirkle" I hate to say it, but I think nepotism might have been involved in casting this movie.

After all his movies, i have reach the conclusion that the only Estus i want in my life, is the one that recovers me health in a certain video game

Also apparently for a guy growing up in the depression his family wasn't effected whatsoever considering they had a decent sized house and apparently enough meat to feed everyone.

18:18, So Heaven's security system is made of a bunch of Kinects? No wonder they were discontinued.

Starting thought: "OH BOY! THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!" On hearing 'Estus Pirkle': "... Oh, wait a minute."

Omg... I just realized the intro leading into the song "Pass Me By" by Insane Clown Posse uses sound clips from this movie! Mind... blown...

"I'm allergic to fine linens; I'll take my chances in Hell!" That'd make a great T-Shirt slogan.

Those poor kids looked incredibly sad.

This is my least favourite Star Wars trilogy.

"You know the rules, first you have to wine me, dine me, show me graphic images of mass murder, and THEN I'll come." Holy shit I had to pause the video I was laughing so hard.

Buddy, considering the contents of the bible, I'm offended that there AREN'T more Christian Grindhouse films. If I'm gonna be preached to, I want it to be old testament god tested, old testament god approved!

Way to make Heaven sound like the creepy quiet halls of an extreme care old age home, Estus. Hope it doesn't have the smell for all the poor saps getting shoved in there to 'enjoy their peace'.

Am I the only one wondering what the hell kind of name is "Estus Pirkle"?

Always love seeing these Christian snuff films.

Loved to hear the "Buy my book" sound from The Critic :D

Ummm my brain just kinda turned sad after the little person in the wheelchair. Not cause the little person was in the wheelchair but because that was a thing I was never expecting

Least violent, yes. Most disturbing, definitely.

So, just to make sure I got this right according to Perkel. Heaven consists of constant day light, harp music, all you can eat plants (which is pointless when one remembers that to get to heaven you need to be dead, thus negating the need for food), and everything BORING one can imagine! Obviously those of us into death metal, mosh pits, steak, booze, and things that are actually fun, are probably hell bound. Looking forward to seeing everyone there, I'll be the guy greeting you with a keg and a succubus!

Well, did you come?

I laughed so loud at this scene here... 19:21 ...Is this for real? Bloody hell!

I think we can all agree that the Estus Pirkle/Ron Ormond trilogy is the greatest trilogy in the history of cinema!

Estus looks like Colonel Sanders if he was John List's protege.

My new vision of hell is having Estus Perkile preach at me for all eternity.

18:26 "you never know where these Estus Pirkle movies are gonna lead" Apparently this one leads to Tod Browning's Freaks.

I remember Adrian Rogers from my Tennessee History class -- he's considered a key figure that turned the Southern Baptist Convention into a conservative interest group rather than simply a Baptist Association, and basically all of his sermons at the Bellevue Baptist Church seemingly became the archetype of what you would see in fear-mongering Christian media in the US -- even things such as attributing some of the "moral and social degradation of America in the 1990s" partially to "doctorates of philosophy who mislead and corrupt the youth" (which, my professor said that was meant to specifically mean philosophy professors, but I know doctorate of philosophy can refer to people with Ph.D's in general) which really reminded me of "God's Not Dead" and their philosophy professor antagonist. I had to watch his sermon "A Nation in Crisis" for that class -- which is where I heard him condemn philosophers.

But if Jack Hyles ran for Congress, the GOP would still support him?

I can't stop laughing at the guy going to heaven up in flames XD XD

This movie is literally christian Reefer Madness (well more christian that is)

As crazy as this sounds - this is quite toned down, almost normal... (when compared to the first 2)

😂😂 Abraham disappeared like the Great Gazoo!

Nothing like watching a fire and brimstone review while waiting on a grindr hookup to arrive.

It's honestly sad to see some of these people with handicaps/illnesses helping to spread these shitty messages. People like Pirkle prey on others' fears and hopes.

This brand of Christianity is just so American: “What’s heaven mommy?” “Stuff son! Lots and lots of stuff! So much stuff, you will need electronic stuff to monitor your other stuff!

I'm at the beginning of the review, when Estes start to talk and the subtitles say : "this universe is headed towards a dramatic llamas", so I already now the movie's going to be awesome.

Ah, yes. The Mamas and the Papas and the First Cousins and the Second Cousins and the Third Cousins. I fondly remember their greatest hit, Sparta, Mississippi Dreamin'. One more thing: If Liam Neeson Tires You, What Would Trains Do?, The Burning Train, and The Believer's Train.

Don't badmouth Estus Pirkle. He gave us a means of healing in the Dark Souls series.

First the Buttercream gang and now Estus Pirkle? What comeback we're going to see next week?

So, does the Man From Another Place showing up to sing mean that the Estus Perkle trilogy takes place in a shared universe with Twin Peaks?

the audience wears polyester? It's an abomination in Deuteronomy, it is clearly forbidden. They are all in hell now, due to their poor taste in fashion. :(

Normally I wake up at 9:30 and rush to get to work by 10, but I somehow woke up early this morning. The same morning you posted this. Could it be a *miracle?*

It always amuses me when depictions of heaven advertise the material wealth you get there. Like, by the time you get there you don't even have a body.

To be fair, given who Ron Ormond and Estus Pirkle think would get into Heaven, a state-of-the-art security system seems reasonable.

Depictions of Heaven like this really make me uncomfortable. Why's everyone wearing the same stuff? Is there a fucking dress code? Why aren't there any buildings? Is there no privacy?

"But where are we gonna get all the white sheets for the extras?" "Just tell them to wear their Klan robes without the hoods"

I always sorta wondered what people do in Heaven. I can’t remember ever really learning the specifics in Sunday School

A place where it never gets dark certainly sounds like hell. I can't go to sleep with the light on.

I'm glad to see the return of Estus Perkle. This guy's ideas of the afterlife are some of the most hilarious things I've ever seen it's just a shame that the other parts of these movies range from unsettling to just plain boring.

I’ve been a fan for awhile but I may have to back off on account of how close I almost came to widowhood. My husband laughed so explosively hard watching this that I was afraid that he would burst a blood vessel and die right in front of me!

kept waiting to see the carousel scene from Logans Run

Sentimental comment: I always thought heaven would be perspective. You are finally given all the knowledge you could or should have known, you get to see the future of mankind from on high, and you have vacations into the past to see history unfold again from the beginning. But yeah. White fluffy clouds and good stuff tends to be the default rather than experiencing omniscience, omnipresence, and infinite wisdom.

Yay! You finally found a copy of this! :) Thanks for putting up with my fangurling in NOLA, Brad. (My son is still mad at me BTW, ROFL.) ~hug~

19:21Holy shit, did nobody in the audience noticed that old guy having a stroke?!

Out of curiosity, with VidMe's death, are those archived episodes dead forever, or will there be a restoration project moving it elsewhere? Again. If you're just done with them, can you at least reupload "The Apple" review on RU-vid?

Okay, so there's a line here about how Ormond and Pirkle separated due to differences and I wanted to find the source for that. But what made me laugh is if you go to the Ron Ormond Wikipedia page where it talks about those films, the link is *to* the Cinema Snob episodes here on RU-vid. Those are the literal references. I guess Brad can be credited for keeping these movies alive in the cultural zeitgeist. For anyone who cares, the info comes from Tim Ormond given in an interview with Jack Sargeant(?) in his book [insert long title] that you can read on MONDO STUMPO. Tim said The Burning Hell was a successful film in religious circles in that it had made a good amount of money, not millions, but good for what the movie was and his father and Estus didn't see eye to eye on the business side. After that he refused to elaborate, but made a lot of "water under the bridge, but bridges were crossed" comments. There's one other clue in that apparently the Ormonds didn't retain rights, or even custody, of those films, leaving them to Pirkle's family when they separated. This seems to suggest the profit sharing was unfavorable for the Ormond's and rather than fight over money, they chose to amicably depart. This would add some context to Brad's comments watching this movie in that the profits from The Burning Hell probably paid for the glasses and suit. Unfortunately that seems to be it as I couldn't find anything on the Pirkle side so Tim's version is what I have.

It makes sense that the video directly following the Reggie Bar incident would be about Heaven. In any case, dear god, this is seriously almost as funny as your "Burning Hell" review. I'll be re-watching this one, along with "Burning Hell," "Gums" and the Talking Vagina Trilogy.

So completely random but 15:49, the “does this excite you?” Is used at the beginning of Pass Me By from ICP. I’m sure no one else would care but I found this surreal.

The kid at 17:55 seems to have forgotten that he's dead.

Lol what the Snob said "Sure I'll get you into heaven but the Lord wants you to sign over your bank account" that's something Joel Osteen and Kenneth Kopeland would say

Dr Jack Hiles, can just blame his crimes on Mr Hyde.

Never thought I'd hear John Wayne talk about circumcision.

“Too close, Estus!” I about lost it 😂

Others who Helped. That made me laugh more than it should have. When people look at these videos centuries from now, they're going to think Christians were complete bonkers. And those Belinda Carlisle lyrics.

Out of the Burning Hell and into the Believer's Heaven. Oh Brad, you spoil us!

Yeah, all those fruits and singing and being in the green is nice and all. And having all your ailments cured is definitely a big plus. But Estus, do I have to wear a white robe 24/7 in heaven?? I mean, heaven has to have a slightly wider fashion sense than just pure white.

19:00 Aaaaand suddenly i fell in Love

On the one hand, the burning hell. On the other, the believer's heaven, with Estus Pirkle.

thanks Odin!!!

Estus Perkle looked like a myopic Jeff Sessions crossed with a clean-shaven Colonel Sanders.

I died at the Belinda Carlisle reference

10:20 He's riding eternal, shiny and chrome, into Valhalla! WITNESS HIM!

Your commentary literally makes me laugh out loud!!!!! Thanks. 👍👍

Estest Returns and looks like he got a better budget. Also am I the only one getting Kingdom Hearts Organization XIII flashbacks from God’s throne room? Nah. The chairs aren’t nearly high enough.

At 19:00 it just straight up turns into a fucking John Waters movie

This shit is what inspired Chris Claremont to do ''God Loves, Man Kills.''

I didn’t realize how much I appreciated these Estus Pirkle films until I found out this was the last one.

19:49 Officially uncomfortable

Was there ever a sign from Estus Perkel after his dead, that there is something like heaven or did he just die and felt into obscurity?

holy shit

Well, dang. It knew it was bad, but they lost me at “The Cherubims,” before the opening credits were even over. “Cherubim” is already plural in Hebrew. “Cherub” is the singular. “The Cherubims" demonstrates all the grammatic finesse of, say,, "The Beatleses," or "Them Rollings Stonses." Although, I'd probably be more surprised at this lapse if I hadn't actually known a real, live preacher who referred to his own savior as "The Jesuses."

Glory be to the Bomb and to the Holy Fallout. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end. Amen.