The dangerous rise of Serious Young Men 

Allow me to clarify one thing: - In no way shape or form was I degrading the young man for asking a girl for her number. - Most men are terrified of approaching women but he had the courage to shoot his shot. - The point I was addressing was the way in which he went about it. Nothing more, nothing less. - Who knows… maybe that was his first time doing it. Either way, more power to him. Hopefully he’ll be less serious next time. Stay disciplined & playful. Lewis

Rather than ‘self development’ as such, more of these guys with high levels of influence should be encouraging men to be more self aware, intentional with their actions, and most importantly, become critical thinkers. Of course, they wouldn’t dare do such a thing because a critically thinking man wouldn’t be buying courses from men who’s sole income isn’t from what they ‘teach’ within the course, but from the selling of the course.

I needed this bro 😭 thank you My little sister came in the room and said “I can hear your teacher” she thought it was my college class. So thank you professor

Bro had such a bad rizz his friend had to do a video essay about it 💀

"should implies social obligation, could implies potential" oh god i will always remember it, thank you 🙏

Fuck it I’m just gonna do whatever I want and if anyone doesn’t like it fuck em’

"Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are." Needed this video right now man. Good advice, glad I clicked on it.

This is why instead of blindly following all of these influencers that tell me to work hard and focus on your goals and nothing else, I like to take a little bit that resinates with me from every one of them and apply it to my own life while still doing hobbies and having interests.

MATE YES. I've danced salsa and bachata for 2 years and I've thought that exact thing. When you ask a girl to dance and lead, you are setting the frame. If you go in nervous, she will feel nervous and not trust you to lead, if you go in too serious, the dance feels devoid fun and excitement. However if you ask with a smile on your face and energy, chatting and laughing while you dance, she feels that energy and feeds from it. My teachers also said the idea of men being the frame and women being the beautiful picture. Maybe it makes more sense in a masculine and feminine sense, but the masculine provides the frame and tone for the femine to blossom and bloom. You don't lead too hard or too soft, you lead with confidence and style and the partner follows flowing and making a beautiful scene following your lead. It's ok for her to lead sometimes too, but if you are the established lead for this particular dance, you have to have confidence in yourself and see it through.

As a young man i asked several people for their advice on getting into dating in the first place. I can honestly say the best advice i ever got was to be myself and go with the flow without worrying about results.

No matter what young men do, they will always be considered doing something wrong. Thats what Ive learned over the years, good luck fellas.

that charisma skit was nice 🤣🤣

Yes several years ago I started listening to classical piano. Mozart hooked me and led me to buy myself a piano to learn how to do stuff like him. Turns out that I am a late blooming prodigy for lack of a better term. It has been seven years since this discovery and I still don't know what to do with it.

It is impressive that you made an entire video about humility without using the word once

"We are all dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up, go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around don't let anyone tell you different."-- Kurt Vonnegut

It's so refreshing to see an authentic RU-vidr that's not a hamza clone.

I mean, I totally agree with you. If anything, pursuing anything in a "sincere, not serious" way is at the very least the most pleasant way, for everyone involved, to get/become what you "could". But I have to 1000% disagree about the implication (and the troubling lack of curiosity about where the problem actually comes from) that it is all somehow merely a (wrong) "choice" that young men are making. That they can simply turn a switch to become sincere, not serious. And most importantly, that they somehow haven't ever really been sincere, not serious. I don't think people are born "serious" (and if some are and you're suggesting they forgo their very nature, that's a whole other problem). But they learn to become serious. Not only are they bombarded with messages that they should become serious, they've likely resisted the messages until LIFE ITSELF made them understand that they should probably get serious. Everyone who enters the casino with a couple thousands to spare is going to have fun at first. But when you come to a point where all the "fun" has made you lose your life savings and your organs, "seriousness" will set in about trying to get back your losses. Likewise, I firmly believe that for young men (young people in general?), the easy-going spirit, the "sincerity" is taken away from them, not stupidly given in exchange for seriousness for no actual reason. They adopt the seriousness AFTER seeing that sincerity didn't work at all in getting anything, whether it be a girl, money, good grades. In your example about the serious person at a board game, I think it would be more accurate if that person had a gun to their head and they HAD to win to save their life. How could you reproach that person to be serious? Or at the very least, not understand that the seriousness has at least a very good reason to be there? Again, it makes sense and would be ideal for the man who just had a big breakfast to go fishing "with sincerity", to not get too attached to the results of getting fish or not, to feel that they could get fish without feeling that they should. But what about that same man if 2 weeks later, they are now starving because they still haven't got any fish at all? Is it really their own fault that they've now become "serious" about getting fish? We rarely go "seriously" into any endeavor at first (and certainly not life itself, in my opinion), but it's incredibly short-sighted to not see that so many people get burned into becoming serious because the alternative(s) haven't worked out, at all.

The honest truth is things like inflation, cost of living, social media, and a demographic transition into abundance of old people is what is killing young mens dating prospects.

I’m so glad this popped up on my recommended feed. I love seeing people on this platform give genuine and applicable advice to a generation of men that need it more than ever. Your delivery reflects everything you preach. You delivered an important message with sincerity but did not shy away from adding some zest to keep it engaging. This is my first viewing of your videos and I know there will be many more. Truly based.

Dude your channel is one of the best I've seen in a while. Hoping this channel blows up soon cause young men desperately need this content

Bro I subscribed within the first 2mins I swear. Your message around being relaxed and honest as opposed to a poser is excellent. Good for you!

This is such a refreshing perspective. Keep doing what you're doing brother, you've earned my sub this day.

I watched this whole thing, went to click subscribe, and was astonished by the subscriber count considering the quality of the video. You're clearly doing something right! Loved it, and that charisma bit made me laugh

I just do whatever I want. Sure, I don't have many friends and no girl will ever touch me even with a hundred foot pole, but I get to be the person I really am, no need to put on a figurative mask and pretend to be someone I'm not.

My good humour is given (generously) to those worthy of my emotions, to all those who are just plain unlikable or who tax my nerves- they all get ice cold, businesslike interactions. Just because I don’t respect someone doesn’t mean I’ll intentionally disrespect them, but it does mean those pleasant little slices of my personality are only for people who reciprocate those emotions

World to young men: be yourself, no not like this Also world to young men: why aren't young men their authentic selves anymore?

Needed this bud, thanks. Been in a rut lately and your video made me realize it's partly because I've been serious about too many things.

i don't watch much self improvement stuff anymore because of how, well, serious they are. These types of videos are so much more calming and I really love and admire your commentary style, playful but still professional. Keep it up man!

words of wisdom from a young fella, good to see.

Exactly what I was looking for!❤

I'm not gonna lie man this is my first time watching you but this topic feels like it strikes the core of my being. Sometimes I get caught up in the things you describe and it feels so refreshing hear someone talk about it like you do.

Nice video, never subscribed to someone talking about masculinity so fast. Very refreshing to see, how calm and collected your approach is👍🏽

I must say you have exaggerated swagger.

Thanks for this video. I had also realized something similar to this in last few days. I had lived like that serious man for the last 1.5 years. I went into this mode because I thought I will not be able to get a girlfriend. So I started to live "completely" based on how I can be attractive to women and gain status, and had to sort of kill my individualself for this. I became attractive in the beginning, even got an internship ( I am in university) but then this way of living slowly made me more and more miserable to the point I didn't feel like living at all. When I feel like dying, that's when I know something is actually really bad which helped me come out of that state. I had went all in and worked so hard people got scared if they saw how hard I worked. But I still saw some "non serious" people doing better than me with lesser effort, which was confusing I was able to talk to most people before becoming serious and during this phase , my conversation skills almost completely faded because I couldn't relate.

I apreciate the synchronization with the theme of seriousness and the charisma and funnes was done beautifully with the skit, breaking up the seriousness with the charisma you wanted to show. i don't know if that made any sense, but this video really made me question some stuff and adopt some new beliefs about life. thank you for the sincere and truthfully made content my guy, I'll be following you because this video really resonated with my ideas, ideals and principles. thank you again, lots of love

Hey man, really good content, love the "don't stay there", was a neat touch. I see it as basically coming down to learning how to be present, there are areas of our lives where seriousness or "play", lets call, is required in a particular moment and being able to decipher between which is appropriate to act out, I believe to be the essence to solving this. Being present makes this process simpler since we interact with our immediate enviroment without being stuck in our heads. (easier said than done)

This video is exactly what I needed to see

Not always has to do with influence, but rather lived experiences and how youve been treated that can make you learn some harsh lessons and become colder

One of the best made and well scripted videos I have seen in a while. You are a great communicator. Best of success to you brother and thank you for this message. Going through a breakup right now and definitely feeling a bit too serious myself, so I needed to see your video.

This is a great video, great storytelling, pattern interrupt with the attic scene, great and relevant topic. Great job brother, no coincidence it got 200k views!

solid advice. i needed to be reminded to let go of my desperation to succeed or seen to succeed.

I don’t know man. I’m tired of trying. I don’t see the point of chasing women anymore. I’m really lonely but I’d rather be alone instead trying to constantly chase. Focus on yourselves guys. Everything else will fall in place. I’ve learned that attachment is truly the root of all suffering. Let go, stop worrying, stop chasing, just keep your head down and work. I’ve stopped caring.

Lot of great things to take from this. Its great to find someone put into words what I have been trying to explain to myself for a while. Thank you.

“You must turn your focus, to how complicit you are in the nature of your suffering” - honest and really powerful stuff. One of the biggest journeys I’ve undertaken in my own life, is one of self discovery and self accountability.

It’s possible to be serious and sincere in life. Comparison isn’t always good and it isn’t always bad. Balance is key. The only problem with not being serious is that at some point you may forget to take things seriously that require that seriousness to begin with. Once again, balance.

Full sending everything all the time every day is unsustainable and you WILL burn yourself out. Take your time if you have that luxury. Life is a marathon not a sprint.

"'Should' implies social obligation" that hit. Needed to hear it. Thank you brother

What a masterpiece of a video. Straight to the point, witty and informative. I rarely watch youtube videos that I genuinely enjoy and find fruitful for my personal life as I did now. Thanks a lot

People often tell me that I'm too serious and to be honest, they are right, because it is very difficult for me to let go. However, I invite you all to never forget your seriousness, because it can be very handy in some contexts, like on socials, where it lacks. So, Newel, thanks a lot for uploading serious content (about not being too serious) on a platform where seriousness got forgotten long time ago.

HONESTLY. If you are good looking you can get women being serious and by being completely stupid and jovial. Looks matter so much but guys get defeated when they hear this.

Didn’t know I needed this video, but I did. Thank you for the great work

I rarely leave comments but it was so refreshing to hear a message like this. It was exactly what I needed, and judging by the view count, a whole bunch of other people needed it too! 😄 Thanks for this video, sincerely not seriously 😋

3:38 "i would never sit here and... stand here and..." subtle but GOLD

Being "unapologetically yourself" and being "notoriously fun" have no particular relationship, however. In the example of dancing, I could be unapologetically myself by refusing to bother. Or by treating the whole thing as a joke and looking down on the people who care enough to find my disrespect grating. Or by incessantly starting conversations about pole barn construction methodology. Or by flippantly requesting music more to my taste, which is incidentally not appropriate for dancing. All of these would be purely and utterly sincere. Guileless and authentic in the plainest possible way. They would, however, be at least as far removed from "notoriously fun" as your example of a stiff and serious fellow. And I dare to suggest they would not be regarded as particularly appealing to the fairer sex. I leave it as an exercise to extend much the same reasoning to the board game example, which fares no better I assure you. The advice to "just be yourself," in all its forms, has been fatally flawed for generations. It assumes that your inherent nature is gregarious, attractive and seductive - thereby, if you just relax and do what is authentic to your personality, your behavior will effortlessly become gregarious, attractive and seductive. But alas, these personality traits come naturally to relatively few people. Many of us struggle with a nature that is anxious, cold, competitive or in a hundred other ways not fit for purpose. Being sincere will counter-productively emphasize these unappealing traits. In your case specifically, being sincere in this video made you come across as vacuous.

That’s actually a brilliant device of communicating having a brain that’s always interrupting itself. Cheers I loved that and resonated heavy

Seriousness is not bad, they're just applying it the wrong way. Seeing seriousness as an expressionless facade or somewhat an external state of being is a very immature view some of these men have. I agree with the things you've said; consider this, when the plus one one in the party was invited, he could be serious about having fun, which is the point of the party, it's not a competitive setting, so he could do things that maximize the fun, including letting himself relax. I guess my point is that they take the meaning of seriousness too on the nose.

You have earned my sub sir ...keep doing what you do ❤️

Stumbled upon this video randomly, Great delivery! subscribed

"often times confusion arises because we don't feel emotions to their depths" - Newel of Knowledge gonna put that one in my journal

As someone who is very serious, this feels both very helpful and not very useful. I like being as serious as I am because I feel as if I am giving things the proper amount of respect. Doing things the right way or following the instructions. I feel as if those who are not serious are just treating life and the lives and situations of those around them, like one big joke. How can being serious make others uncomfortable? I've never experienced this in my life. The only person I know to have been made uncomfortable by my serious nature is my mother, and I just don't get how that could be the case when my behavior has nothing to do with her or others. This is just who I am. Why would anyone care? I do recognize that this behavior has caused problems for me in a multitude of ways, however, and I would love to know what can be done to change that. How do I treat things with the proper respect without acting like this? Why is the fact that I act like this such a major problem for others? Why is being serious seen as such a bad quality, while laughing at absolutely everything as if nothing matters is seen as a social good?

I found that the only time I could be my sincere self was with bowling. I am horrendously bad with bowling-- I throw the ball with two hands like its a sack of flour. No elegance, no grace. The beauty in bowling is that im so bad that it is impossible for me to take myself seriously. I can't help but laugh and give into the fact that I'm just human. My advice is to do something you and your friends are shit at, together, and to make it a point for nobody in the group to even try to take it seriously. You're human, let it show.

Definitely subbed for this, struggling right now and im praying that it will get better

Many years ago, Alan Watts in particular is the man that got me into philosophy, and I can tell you are philosophically inclined. Beautifully done. That quote from Alan Watts and his emphasis on sincerity over seriousness is something that I had implemented into my life. Earned yourself a new subscriber.

what if my sincerity is serious? I honestly don't feel like acting/animating yourself to get likes/approval from others is a sincere way to live.

Nice! I see tons of self improvement channels just vomiting the exact same thing over and over, it's nice to see considerations that I've never seen, a breath of fresh air

Such a needed video in this time, you said so many stuff that needs to be said so thank you

Thank you so much for this king. I'm a confused 20 year old and have been so lost and confused about how to go on about things cause there is so much contradiction in everything but you have given a great perspective on things! Thanks! You're doing good things for people.

I very much dislike it when men say that demoralized men are man children. “Just enjoy the dystopia bro” Don’t like to be in chronic pain from perpetually never being good enough no matter how hard you try? Obviously a Man-child, ‘pull Yerself up by the bootstraps kiddo!” Feels like boomers calling younger gens lazy for not having their first home and dream job at 16. It’s out of touch. Even if a man gets the girl, gets the abs, and gets the money. It will never be good enough. Even if you work hard to become the man that girls see as ‘good enough’ to maintain that is hard, and to fail to improve results in ‘I don’t love you anymore’ or ‘I found someone whose slightly better, see ya’ I despise being told by other dudes that I’m just not trying hard enough. When it’s hard enough just to try and dream up reasons why having any of those toy trophies are worth all of the monumental effort and cost. Whatever. Okay boomer.

I have never needed to see a video more in my life. Brilliant.

Man you do not know how much it brightend my day and got me out of my own head. Tomorrow will be an added bonus. Thank you so much for this perspektiv. Sincerly a troubeld young man

I'm glad this video was recommended to me. It's very refreshing. Thank you.

Have you ever watched someone drown before, they don’t just go under and drown. They kick and thrash about and usually stay afloat for a good bit until they tire themselves out from their effort and the moment their face goes into the water for a second they panic and take a breath of water and it’s over. They tried so hard yet anyone who knows how to swim knows that you can literally just float on your back with zero effort. All they had to do was stop trying so hard and float.

This is brilliant mate!

As a man who has been too serious his whole life, I appreciate this perspective. I was brought up in a shaming household and learned to be serious as a boy to prevent being shamed and now find it very difficult (and scary) to just "let go".

I found that pursuing your passion will put you around people who are also passionate about that (or at least a few that aren't just their to vover their rent) And thats how you find love.

Being lighthearted, flirty and carefree has caused women to treat me like a child and friendzone me. That's the last thing I want from someone I fancy. If being seen as cold and stuck up them treat me more like an equal then so be it

Hm... maybe he didn't approach it right, but I'd still give him points for trying. :) We don't know what the man's been through so we cannot judge his actions. Maybe he's just unlucky that day. The biggest barrier to connection is a feeling of danger. Women are a lot more suspicious than men because they are vulnerable to abuse. Your colleague must've been caught off-guard not only because he was so serious, but because it was a very unusual encounter. This may have gone down differently if she was at a party and the man was introduced to her via another friend. I suspect those circumstances would've been a lot more favourable to him.

This actually goes so well with the idea of the harder you try the worse it gets, what I have seen in my life is there is no such thing as going in hard, there is something called, "The required amount of effort" for whatever you are trying to achieve. I have seen that more often then not when we try to hard over anything then we get more caught up with our own selves more then the thing which we are trying to achieve or do

Very lucky to come upon this. Thankyou very much.

Our parents and grandparents just wanted to grill. Unfortunately, it’s time for humanity to get serious now.

Needed that, thank men !

Thank you so much man! :D I think I dwelled into a state of seriousness but trying to come bak out

Thank you RU-vid for showing me this. I will try to take note and work on it.

I am a firm believer that if you are attractive enough, women will ignore your personality "issues."

Life is not a battle you have to win. Life is yours, do what you will. As long as you dont get involved in crimes, you're ok and none shall judge.

This is the first video that I’ve seen from you. I have to say, you’re incredibly articulate and have a real talent in your vocabulary and delivery. Keep up the great work my friend.

I havent heard the idea of the "right amount of effort before" i like it! Great perspective. Thank you for sharing.

I am an introvert, if I just be myself I would never meet women, only do things I want, and spend my life content but feeling half empty. I adopted this thing I call "putting on confidence" where I pretend to myself I that I am this highly confident and capable young man. Works really well, until I inevitably have to drop the mask. So I cannot "just be yourself" and I cannot just be who I want to be. I have now been exploring Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life, and Carl Junge's idea of the shadow and persona to see if there is anything of value in there for me.

I get confused by the manosphere's messages. I already understand the need to strive for excellence because I read Nietzsche. But how do I do it? More material possessions or more pussy are not enough to fulfil my life. Young men today are deprived of wealth and women, it's true. But defining our lives and masculinities with wealth and pussy is overcompensation. We just need some wealth and one woman

Confusion Arises because we don’t feel them to their depth. Best lesson in this video

Thank you so much for posting this vid! It’s given me a lot to think about as I’ve been going thru vids and learning. With that being said, I wanted to add something. I myself have struggled with taking myself very seriously. But I feel like I had to. I used to be a silly boi who had a lotta girl friends. But I remember getting beaten up by other guys for being how I was, and enough girls said I was ugly for me to believe it. I see now that since then, I’ve tried to shield myself from harm by seeing threats where there are none. It’s more than just trying to impress people, it’s a fear of people actually trying to hurt me :( What I want to add is that authenticity may be difficult for people who were taken advantage of. I don’t want to blame external forces out to get us, but it’s tough for those who’ve had bad luck and don’t see a way out. While I don’t agree with Tate, I can see that young men gravitate towards him and ppl like him because they seek a power they feel they never had, a power that destroys themselves and others. For those trying to be more authentic/vulnerable, I recommend reflecting on why you take yourself so seriously. Identify these anxieties and work thru them. Taking oneself seriously may not be so much to impress others but to protect oneself. Working thru it myself, I feel that letting go of expectations isn’t always a straight road.

6:48 there’s nothing wrong with being tense rigid and stiff as a man.

Why does every movie, show, and journalist that I hate, have a pattern of the same last names, calling for my removal?

Wow, i didn't know i needed this video. The should and could bit was so strong. I will remember that, for it is such a powerful message.

this is a really good video for such a small channel. remember guys, life is not that serious, there's the highs, the lows, and the trolls. cheers!

My problem with people who interact with the world trying to live everyday like they are dying: this perspective gives said person a reason to justify screwing someone else over because "it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, we're all going to die." Meanwhile, you've shirked responsibility and the consequence is that another person has to clean up your mess or deal with the thing you were too busy not taking seriously to deal with yourself. And I'm not talking about major events or anything, I'm talking about mundane, everyday unimportant things that become problems when they are neglected, or even just doing your job to the best it can possibly be done.

Key takeaways: 1. Prioritize sincerity over seriousness in your approach to life. 2. Navigate societal pressures by finding a balance between pursuing relationships and personal growth. 3. Let go of societal expectations and focus on authentic self-expression. 4. Implement practical strategies to reduce seriousness and embrace life more fully. 5. Engage in activities for pure enjoyment rather than external validation.

As a highschooler I realized society's views on this were a bit confused when I got the more traditional masculine hobbies lifting and cars and got told I was trying to be a gym bro and trying to pick up women with cars. I had never felt like people looked at me as masculine before then and then it went full circle so I just gave up trying to figure out how other people view it and never really focused on it. Meanwhile this is the first person to explain what "Be yourself" means and finally I can work with this.

god i love this. finally, someone has started defining the middle path ive been trying to walk. ive met the extremes on both sides, too playful and too serious, and i don't want to be either. this is a good video.

I got the charisma of a chipotle enema.