As a person who has both quite a few close male and female friends - it gets super subtle. I would say though, girls have more expectations of what a friend should do, while guys tend to be less pissy about the little things. So long as one picks communicative friends, gender starts being a very minor part of how people act.
I love that you're talking about a 'dark side of female friendships' while there's a background of Sailor Moon Crystal playing where there is a wholesome side of female friendships. Commenting before I finish the video, will edit this later because I don't think I have any real friends left lol.
Interesting. As a guy when I'm out with my sister/female cousins they will often say "why is she staring at me" or "why is she giving me a dirty look" etc to which I would be oblivious. Also females can gang up on another female in a room and not stand up for her even if they know it is wrong.
great video! something i want to add is that these studies about female friendships feel like theyre lacking a queer perspective? i recently ended an old high school toxic friendship with a woman that i felt was using me more than there being a healthy sense of reciprocity in our friendship, and this year ive been unpacking my queer identity and realized that i probably wouldnt have condoned a lot of the stuff this woman did if she was unattractive. she benefitted greatly from the halo effect and me on some subconscious level thinking that being her friend was better than not being in relationship with her at all.
she also told me that she thought i didnt like her much in high school because i seemed so aloof, but in hindsight i think i liked her so much that i acted detached. and once i admitted to her i liked her and she didnt reciprocate it, i was able to then start an authentic friendship with her (and not the idea of her i made up in my mind) and she turned out to be pretty arrogant, judgmental, hypocritical and shallow. and she did NOT handle conflict well and would be verbally abusive and self centered and if i brought up a problem i was having, it’d end with me consoling her for feeling like i was attacking her
I agree that much of the historical research has focused on heteronormative dynamics, and as a result, there is still a lot to learn about social dynamics from a queer perspective. Thank you for watching ❤️
Is there common hierarchy in female friendships? With guys it can fallen in categories of the leaders, followers and that one guy just tags along despite having nothing but having close proximity to the group.
There can be the whole Regina George queen bee dynamic but that's a lot more of a juvenile thing. In adult female relationships, not so much as women are seeking to be seen as equals and the act of imposing a hierarchy is usually done for nefarious purposes via acts such as man stealing -- which will eventually oust a girl socially if repeated. Hope that makes sense.
I want to say that i really appreciate the detailedness of your video and the calm music which makes it so much more pleasing to listen to than your usual commentary video :) i'm also sad that queer perspectives are lacking in these studies, because no one deserves to feel left out. Hopefully that will change!!
As an autistic person i feel like i would prefer the male friendship not because i want to be a pick me but because it just seems easier however the intimacy would be lost. But maybe its not such a bad thing since ive had a friend who used my vulnerabilities agaisnt me when i tried to hold her accountable to how she was mistreating me
