The days leading up to  

I mentioned in a previous post of yours that I lost my older brother to an overdose. It's been 7,820 days, 21 and a half years since his passing. It's gotten easier, and I have moved on from that day, but there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the what if's and what i could have done differently to prevent his horrific demise! I truly am sorry for your loss. ❤

I still watch his videos I will never forget Luke. I miss him so much.

They took his phone and ditched him after he died.... what a coward. I'm so sorry for your loss Lee . My cousin died of fent after being clean for 3 months I know your pain it hurts like nothing else !

My niece died of a fentynal od a few months ago and whomever she was with put her face down in the yard and left ..she was found 3 days later so i completely understand and im praying for you 🙏 by the way the police refuses to investigate because she was a drug addict so that breaks my heart even more

my heart breaks for you. his pain is over but you still hurt but you did all the right things.🙏🙏🙏it's not your fault❤

Just know that even though you were angry, in those final days, you showed him how much you cared. His presence will always comfort you. Some asshole probably stole his phone and sold it, and blocked you in the process. Unfortunately, people are horrific and will do depraved things. Just know that you will be okay❤. Also, thank you, I've been off my DOCs for around 4 years, and you have helped me deal with my own grief.

My heart breaks for you Leah. I still have so many regrets after losing my brother over things that were left unsaid. It hurts deeply. I find it so comforting to talk to him even though he’s not here. Did the police suspect foul play at all? Did they ping his phone? Watching his last video in his car you could tell how agitated he was. He said he wanted to use. Leah there was nothing you could do to stop what happened. You being “ upset “ with him was because you were cared, and probably afraid. Feeling helpless. Survivors guilt is tough, but from they way he talking you, you were the kindest most caring person he knew. He loves you no matter what Leah. He is at peace now. No more fighting demons. I hope you can find peace in your heart about that. He loved you very much. Remember that and the good times. Take care of yourself honey.

I loved watching his channel even though I was new to it. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost two little brothers to H. It hurts everyday.. please just take care of yourself 🙏. Did they by chance do an autopsy since he's so young? Prayers to you and your family 🙏

Oh sweetie, I truly feel for you. You truly did all you could for him. I'm just so sorry and please know you're in my prayers. ❤

This gives a lot of context. Thank you because you didn't need to, and this was very hard for you. Sending you all my love.

I’m so sorry thank you for sharing. I had a friend from work pass in similar circumstances she was found in her car missing her iPad then someone accidentally went live from her Facebook a few days after she was found someone was definitely there with her that left her. I will never understand someone being that heartless.❤

love from Las Vegas, hoping you are doing a little better these days, I know this video had to have been so hard to make. thank you for sharing that with us I really appreciate it and think it can give some of us some closure as well. Keep doing what you're doing with the channel, don't ever give up you have a great channel!!!

I'm so sorry, Leah. Luke seemed like a very sweet and genuine person. I know it's hard not to feel guilty about things that were said or not said when someone passes away under these circumstances. Opioid addiction has been destroying lives all over the nation for decades now. I wish that lawmakers would focus more on treatment over incarceration and put more resources into helping people who are struggling. Good people end up taking that dark path, and unfortunately, the best of them don't make it. I was really surprised and saddened by the news of Luke passing away. He was trying so hard, and I agree that the sober living situation probably contributed significantly to his relapse. I'll have two years clean in June. I wish that he knew how many people supported him and wanted to see him succeed. As a recovering addict myself, I try to explain to loved ones of an addict that sadly, all the love in the world won't cure or stop an addiction to opiates. There's no way you could have prevented it, and there's no shame in your being upset with him at the time. Your feelings of disappointment and anxiety were absolutely valid and still are. Again, I am so sorry that you lost him the way you did. You might never get the answers surrounding his passing, and people who may have been responsible for abandoning him instead of getting help might never face the consequences for the shitty thing they did, but Luke's memory will live on. I can't imagine what you're going through. You lost not just a partner but a best friend, and there are no words that can alleviate the loss and sorrow you are feeling. I hope that over time, the sting lessens and you feel more at peace with the tragedy. My sincerest condolences. God bless.

Just know. It's not your fault. ❤❤❤ I'm so sorry for your loss. 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔

You could have done things differently, but the end result would eventually have been the same. You couldn't save him my sweetheart.

Sending you lots and lots of love ❤️ I wish I could take away all you pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers ❤

Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry that you have been having a hard time these past months. I cannot imagine

Sending you so much love, Leah. The pain of losing someone we love to this, especially under mysterious circumstances, is heartbreaking. I went through a very similar thing. It’s now been 4 years and I still have all of the “what if’s”. I was really upset with my love for not answering / not texting g back and never coming back Home. I finally left, they called me twice, apologizing, crying even, but I was so upset and at the time, angry, I didn’t want to Talk. I couldn’t have known that in just a few days, my love would be gone. The guilt that I felt…feel…has consumed me. As you know, there’s nothing we could’ve done, I don’t think at least. Certainly didn’t foresee this. That’s so bizarre about his phone - so police didn’t take it? Where his car was found, was/is there any cctv footage or any houses/apartments with ring video? (Also the ring doorbell) I’m sending you a big hug, Leah. You are never alone. 💜

I have a very similar experience that happened to me when I was 18 years old. The very last words I said to my boyfriend were " I hate you I hope u get aids and die" unbelievably disgusting words to say to anyone let alone someone you love but I was so infuriated, enraged, sad, and I felt betrayed but those aren't a good reason to speak that way. We had both been using for 2 years and we had recently decided that we wanted to get better. I moved to my grandmas home an hour away so I could detox cold turkey and so he could do the dance l same cuz together we fed into eachother and couldn't get sober that way. I kept hearing he was still using, and had even started shooting up which is something we never did. I also heard he was sleeping with random girls and it was literally only a morn l month since I moved but we were still " together" he called one day and it was right after I had gotten another phone call with all this shitty news and i went off, said those horrible things and hung up on him. Every call after that was ignored. Back then 1998 there was no cell phones and no social media like today so it was easier to block out someone u didn't want to talk to. We didn't have cars cuz we were broke addicts and that made it even easier to stay away. 1 month later his mom called my grandmas while I was at work to say he had died while in jail. I knew he was in jail and I had known for almost 2 weeks so I really didn't worry about him getting high and being with girls. I never expected he would die in jail. He did though and it turns out that it was from hepatitis which as far as I knew he didn't know he had that and I didn't know or see any signs. Medical examiner said he probably got it from shooting up but that just seems like it happened way to fast it had only been 2 months as far as I know. Anyways I've always regretted that last call and it weighed so heavy on my heart for so damn long. I learned to forgive myself as I know he would forgive me and not want me to dwell on a few words said in all incredibly heartbreaking situation that was just a few moments in a relationship of several years of great times and loving words. I encourage you to look at it from that point too. I know your boyfriend wouldn't want you beating yourself up. It will get. "better, easier" with time. Be patient with yourself and remember the good times you guys had .

Thank you for sharing 🤍 I'm still so sorry 😔 Sending you love, Leah!

I'm sorry I didnt watch the video but sending you the best positive vibes I can Leah! Thank you for being you! ❤❤❤

Thank you for sharing. I never wanted to ask but was wondering. Again thank you for sharing and I can tell this was hard for you. ❤

Omg nooooo

So sorry for your loss I was one of his good friends on RU-vid, I'm still a moderator on his channel. RIP Luke.

I was using at the time also in a bender when I got the news.. I’ll never forget. I’m sorry Leah.. I hope you can heal from the grief your feeling.. we really care about you and I love your channel.

Man this sucks. Another good human gone to soon. R.i.p. brother

I am sending you so much love. It's so hard. I relate so much. At the end of the day 20/20 hindsight is such a cruel thing.

Sending so much love 💗 💗💗

Damn keep your head up girl!

Thank you for the update, hon I appreciate it I enjoyed Luke's channel. Did you get the idea from Karina posting about Ryan's passing because it's almost the exact same dialogue from her video just pertaining to Luke. Rip lukegtv. Just know there was NOTHING you could've done to save/stop a grown man from dying from drug use. Sounds like you're experiencing some type of survivors guilt, remember you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink the water if he doesn't want to. Same for an addict recovering. You can drop them off at the door of a treatment center but if they don't want to you're very powerless over them. I am pretty sure you're in recovery yourself so I'm sure you are aware of that, just remember to say the serenity prayer when you're feeling some type of "responsable" for his passing.

One of the very prevalent thoughts after losing a loved one, is the thought that we could have done something to change the outcome. You are not a doctor or nurse, you were his partner, and it’s not a partners job to identify underlying medical issues. You did your best, and he CHOSE to use!!! It was his choice, not yours. You did your best. ❤❤❤❤❤

A girl did the same thing to my cousin and she never got charged with anything. Its one of those things i have a hard time looking past, leaving someone there in itself is wrong enough.

Yep not all sober livings are created equal. There’s many many bad ones and no one talks about it.

Leah, I'm so very sorry. I've only just learned of Luke's sudden passing and am heartbroken for you. Please know that he knew you loved him. You did all you could to help him and unfortunately his decision to use wasn't something you, as his partner, could control. Please know that whatever you're feeling is valid and be gentle with yourself. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers 💕

So heartbreaking 💔 I am sorry for your loss. Replying this things in mind since 2017. It barely started getting somewhat “better” the last 2 years or so. Stay strong.

Oh leah sending hugs please try and stay strong and dont blame yourself ok its not your fault ❤

Hang in there. I can't believe his phone is missing. Is there anyway to find out who he last text or called?

🙏💔😥

❤

the phone: the streets are cold hearted like that. if there was a person it was probably the plug/another addict that gave him the stuff he used. took the phone and dipped so no one knows who this person was unless there is an investigation and they go through his phone to look at the last calls and texts through forensic methods to get a number, a name etc.

My dad died in may. One day before my mom’s death anniversary 2018. I found him on his couch when he didn’t answer his phone all day. Horrify

They u never till those that knew u forget u n stop talking about u

Damn

Im so sorry he didn't make it. So many don't. Whoever took his phone was just covering their own ass. The charity in this world has grown so so cold. I am so unbelievably fortunate that Jesus saved me on Nov 27th, 2021. Im not worthy but forever grateful

You been okay the past 2 weeks?

man i have so many questions after watching this. Was he alone? Did he suffer? Was there any foul play do you think. I had saw a comment from his mom on one of Daniel's videos saying that they found him with stuff leading them to think it was an OD but that the results weren't in yet. I know you don't know me from Adam, but I considered Luke to be a good friend of mine. I just recently found out about him passing and I feel terrible because I had kind of fallen out of touch with him, so I randomly checked his channel one day and was like you have to be fucking kidding me. The last time I talked to him he was upset becasue he felt like you went behind his back and were talking shit about him to Grant. I'm not trying to put you on blast, but I'm bringing this up becasue as we talked about it, he paused and his lip quivered as he told me that even the worst day together with you was 100x better than being out here on his own. I've seen Luke through multiple years of different relationships with females and I've heard him talk about them, which was nothing like how he would talk about you. He loved you dude. To the moon and back. From the outside looking in, it really seemed like you gave him kind of a hard time, most of the time though tbh. Regardless, I hope you're doing ok. This shit is just rediculous. I also noticed in his video a few days before he passed which was titled like something about the fruits of sobriety ring true, if you look at this live chat in the very beginning, there is a user on their named "wop" who tells him to stop claiming sobriety because the two had supposedly been doing some dirt together recently. I bet if you can find out who that is, they might be able to at least point you in the direction of someone who knows something. The thing he was talking about was pretty specific and not something that just anyone would be privy to imo at least.

I’m so sorry for your loss. You always feel guilt and that you could have “saved” the person during the grief process. You also replay the last moments you had with the person and mine with my father was also less than ideal. BUT the pain does fade and acceptance becomes easier with time. I hope you find solace knowing this. I know your pain is still so fresh and I feel for you. RIP Luke

I’m sure it was tough sharing this, and the circumstances. Hopefully someone who needs to hear your message at the end will help someone on either side. My heart truly goes out to you. 🕊️🤍🫂