The Drinker Fixes... Rey 

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Don't forget swimming. She knew how to swim, despite being raised on a desert planet, and never even seeing a body of water larger than a bucket.

When an alcoholic is better at writing movies/characters than Hollywood...

The fact that she trusts literally everyone confuses me to no end. She’s been scammed for the majority of her life and has lived as a scavenger. She was abandoned. As someone with abandonment issues it is fucking difficult to trust.

I like how drinker doesn’t just fix Ray but decided to fix most of the other characters aswell

Local scottish man drunk out of his mind brilliantly writes 3 entire films in 20 minutes

The Drinker just created a better strong female character without any of the virtue signalling.

When I say you fixed Rey ...I mean I literally started feeling emotional a bit ...why aren't people like you making movies man ...what a sucky world we live in lol

For Finn and Poe doing a bit of worldbuilding, here's how I think that convo could go Finn: "I've fought on a dozen planets, but asside from your resistance, we've only had to deal with planetary security forces, what makes you think the Republic can win against the first order?" Poe: "it can't, every planet is looking out for itself, every world is on the brink of war with a dozen other worlds, the senate is nothing but a screaming match at this point, that's the point of the Resistance, Leia Organa tried to organise a united military force to counter the Imperial remnant before they united into the first order but nobody was into it, so she went at it alone, gathering volunteers and raising funds however she could" Finn: "is it enough? How big is the resistance anyway?" Poe: "no idea, we're decentralised like the Rebellion during the reign of the empire, it's made up of hundreds of individual cells from all over, some "gather supplies"" Finn: "you mean piracy?" Poe: "when needed, others fight on the front lines, at most I think we could bring a dozen warships to bear, but we'd never do that, too big of a risk' Boom, there, worldbuilding established. The Republic isn't fighting the first order because it's barely holding itself together and lacks the legitimacy of the old Republic. The first order was founded by Imperial remnants who survived the war and eventually all were gathered under the leadership of snoke as the first order, the resistance is a vast but loosely connected series of small cells operating apart from eachother with a vague common goal and doesn't always operate within the bounds of the law, so they could also be characterised by the first order and anti-resistancd Republic worlds as bandits and terrorists. This could also lead into Episode 8, establish that after the Hosnian system was blown to hell, the already fractured and crumbling Republic collapsed and many systems swore allegiance to the first order as, while they didn't already control the galaxy, they were now the biggest and most powerful united faction within the galaxy, so now, through the allegiance of thousands of formerly Republic and independant systems, those against the first order are more like holdouts, soon to be crushed as the first order moves its vast warfleet to bring these holdouts into line one by one. Fuck man I should written these movies.

this script is *WAY* better than anything in the sequels

I love the idea of rey being kind of a selfish, swashbuckling salvager.

It never occurred to me until now that just being Brie Larsen is unto itself a character flaw.

3:01 I just realized for the first time how little thought went into the sequels down to even the most minuscule level. The wall where Rey presumably leaves a scratch mark everyday… shouldn’t a small child start from the bottom and slowly work upwards as it grows larger? She apparently climbed onto something for quite a while and now has to bent down to continue… It seems to me like they have not thought through even the slightest details in this so called movie.

“...a flaw or two...maybe they’re overconfident, or selfish, or naive, or uncaring, or cowardly....or Brie Larson.” 😐....🤣😂🤣

Should’ve called this video, “The Drinker Fixes Everything in TFA.” Seriously, this story would’ve been 100x better!

This rewrite also serves her motivation - she gets her “family” by doing more than just waiting for them to return.

I was more captivated listening to this plot description than I was at any point in the entire sequel trilogy.

"He realizes it is the droid they've been looking for." Well played sir.

Challenge: "Make Rey a likable character..." Drinker: "Actually it's super easy - barely an inconvenience..." ...wait...wrong RU-vid series.

Watching the Drinker fixes actually heals a part of me.

In a Count Dooku's voice - "Rey is something that cannot be fixed. Even by you."

Ironically, despite Rey being "Space Jesus", the real Jesus suffered much adversity, including poverty, hunger, violence, betrayal, and a megaton of rejection. In other words, Rey can't even be "Space Jesus" right! She's that grossly perfect!

"Now clearly this doesn't fix every issue with the movie" - The Drinker batting 95 out of 100

It's weird that Rey has ZERO bitterness or hesitancy to new people. She's isolated in the middle of the desert because her parent's abandoned her and she's scavenging around dangerous old starships just to put some food in her belly. She did sort of not trust Finn but that was resolved in like 15 seconds because he told her a lie that she believed.

As you were narrating this revised story, I imagined it in my mind and that alone was enough to enjoy it, much better than what I saw.

“... or Brie Larson.” That, Devilishly Handsome Soothsayer, is COMEDY GOLD!

Alternate title, "The Drinker Fixes...the Sequel Trilogy"

Having Ray the way you paint her would make her a whole lot more sympathetic. Because we can see that life's been tough on her, we don't expect her to be perfect. It's bound to have affected her, and not always for the best. But she's vulnerable and a lot of her prickles are due to always having to look over her shoulder and never having had anyone to lean on. Which we all need. Seeing her begin to open up and blossom would make us root for her. Because we can see her potential and want her to make it.

That's such a better story, for basically the whole cast out there. My only issue would be, Kylo not being able to sense a blind spot attack by Finn. But some twiks can have a similar result. Rey could even start (just start) to find father and mother figures of replacement into Han and Leia. While still trying to find clues to find her parents (or maybe further on accepting the fact they are not worthy to be found and forming more bounds with Leia and Han). So you even have a message about a particular type of modern family : adopted children. That would also give her more openings to adversity. She would have 2 close person she deeply cares about and thus 2 more weaknesses to exploit by her ennemis. Leia and Han would be a way for her to slowly accept the help of others due to her lack of trust into others because of her past life as a lone wolf. (But well the death of the 2 characters would be a problem. They may have to recast Leia for episode 9 with this storyline. Or she would end the trilogy with no parents again. Who knows maybe she overcomes it with the help of her friends in the next trilogy...)

“Literally being a space Jesus” 😂😂😂 “or Brie Larson” 😵😂😵

Problem: Rey. Solution: No Rey.

I think it'd also be cool to have Finn be reluctant because he doesn't want to kill a lot of troopers. He was one of them, and he knows most of them are generally misled to believe they're doing something right. But over time, he realizes that many of them are just too far gone. Maybe his interactions with Captain Phasma, a cruel and heartless leader of the troopers, helps him realize that other than the lower ranks, the first order knows what they're doing, and just simply don't care, therefore, allowing him to grow his resistance toward fighting against the Order. The only mental obstacle being his feeling of hopelessness against the order, a much stronger faction than the rebels.

I would have LOVED to see a fight between Kylo and Rey like that. Imagine Rey handling the lightsaber in a weird, barely or totally unrefined style mixed with the way she used to fight with her staff against the advanced and well refined fighting style from Kylo Ren; maybe Rey would try to use the environment in her favor or fighting dirty, while Kylo would trusts entirely in the force an in his lightsaber. Rey would loose, obviouslly, but not befor she could have held her ground against Kylo enough time for Finn to interviene and help her.

Video is titled "The Drinker Fixes... Rey" Proceeds to fix Rey, but also Finn, Po, Han, Leia, Kylo, and even Phasma! Oh, how the dominoes fall...

The WORST character in all of Star Wars. She’s honestly the worst character I’ve ever seen in film. She is an irredeemable Mary Sue who never EARNS it. I can’t possibly be compelled to someone who went through no training, yet steals the Skywalker name for herself. She’s objectively and subjectively a TERRIBLE character!

*You did it. You actually did it.* There’s more of course (I would have made Finn an older, grizzled professional soldier with no ideological loyalty, a grim dour type,a *lawful neutral* contrast to Han, and contrast to Poe the charismatic, ideological resistance fighter. First order just has the best pay, best gear. Like you said it needs a full rewrite). I truly felt, as someone else also commented, emotional as you retold the story. That shows the power of storytelling. Your characters you’re invested in, and you want to know what happens.

I ACTUALLY enjoyed Drinker’s few minutes of “new” Rey more than the movie. And that’s 100% true.

Fixing a shallow, hollow, unlikable character like Rey has granted The Drinker the Ultimate Jedi Power (tm)

“Don’t be afraid of who you are.” Proceeds to take the Skywalker name.

I genuinely wanted Rey and the other new characters to succeed and become beloved like those who came before them. It's truly ashame that the opportunity to make a great sequel trilogy was squandered by studio heads needing to insert their politics. They could have accomplished their goal of having a bad ass female lead that fans love by building her character not by automatically being awesome at everything just because she has a vagina. Even though the filmmakers are feminist they did a disservice to girls by teaching them that female heroes are just flawless and if they aren't instantly good at everything then there's no reason to work at it.

I've only seen two of these fixes, but I already have a love-hate relationship with them. Because they're awesome, but they're also a glimpse of what should have been and it makes me sad that we got trash instead.

Rey: I'm Rey Skywalker. Everyone: *Unfortunately for you, history will not see it that way.*

Drinker is the hero we need!

there was a video made about ahsoka's character development. she was insufferable at first but after experiencing what its like to lose, she became one of the most beloved characters in starwars. losing is needed so that a character can develop, learn new skills, and become relatable. that is what rey was lacking. although, it would also have been interesting if finn also became a jedi. imagine a force sensitive storm trooper who found out about the force which is why he defected.

@11:00 I died inside... talking about the main characters having useful dialogue... Exchanging natural and respectable valuable exposition about what in the universe is going on around here.

Everytime I see this "Force is female" T-Shirt I wanna wash my eyes with bleach

You seriously need to make a t-shirt that just says "Oh, f*** off, film."

You didn't just fix Rey, you fixed the entire SW sequel trilogy

Female voice; "Nah, it'll be fine." That was so unexpected, and also, so tremendously enjoyable! Bravo, Drinker. Cheers!

Disney logic; how to make a great character? Make them the bestest at everything! IG-11 in the Mandalorian, the dangerous bounty hunter turned nursing droid had more character development and a more interesting arc in three episodes than Rey did over three films.

Man, he really knows his crap too. He isn’t just voicing opinions about the character, he is actually super informed and adding insightful dialogue to the whole thing. Thank you for the great content, I’m taking notes over here for my own writing

6:55 Making Rey an awkward and unsocial character would have fit pretty well with that and the twist of the episode 9. First, establish how Rey felt something for her family, how she never felt safe or comfortable around people that aren't her mom and dad. As explained in ep 9, her parents had to abandon her to protect her, but it can also be explained how they knew about her abilities and belived she had a bright future that could only reach by surviving. However, Rey doesn't feel comfortable around anyone in Tatooine 2, and even more due to the habitants of that place being unreliable (thing she learns quickly but with a cost). She stays in Jakku and adapts to survive to that place, having the hope of being part of a family again, and enjoy that feel of comfort, protection and emotional support. When she meets Finn and Han Solo, she doesn't act as a sociable person, but she acts timid feeling she should not be there. Time passes and she softly starts to feel those around her as a family. She maybe needs to be youger to this idea be working, but maybe...

It's amazing how just a few tweaks would have made such a FANTASTIC difference.

"Or Brie Larson" actually snorted that was gold 😂😂

“Then Rey has a fight with _______, and beats him up” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I wonder how many other writers could also have come up with a much script for the movies and characters? Because apparently the writers of these movies don’t understand how characters work and how to make them likable and logical. The first three were written as one story and upon recently rewatching them I realized things I never did before and truly can understand the love and fascination with them. Every character had a purpose Personality and and skill that helped them beat the empire. Each movie had growth in Luke’s character and strength in the force and by the time they reached the 3rd Luke had become a man trained as a Jedi but still shows hints of his connection to the dark side. It was just perfectly done. The sequels are turkey trash in comparison

This, coupled with my own Force Re-Awakened fix, would actually have been a fairly solid movie ... which (when considering how minor the changes needed to be) actually makes me really angry that we got the rubbish that we did. My Force Re-Awakened fix, -or- How to Make the Force Awakens actually good: • Change the Music/sound FX (honestly this alone could improve the movie by half a star) • Basically all of Finn’s and some of Poe’s jokes are out of place, they just don’t work. • The battle at the start should have been bigger, I didn’t even notice there was a battle the first time I watched it, but by making it bigger, and re-sequencing some of it, it would go a long way to better establishing Finn’s character. • Rey and Finn’s escape on the Falcon (Rey is too good, the Falcon should have gotten damaged way more, showing how close their escape was, really it should have been 6 parts luck/force, and only 4 parts skill that let’s them survive). [EDIT: Drinker's idea is even better, taking out the Falcon altogether and actually having Poe be the pilot] • Finn not getting eaten by that monster that grabs him is stupid, it literally ate everyone else straight away but just carries him off? They need to make a better reason why it didn’t eat him immediately, like show it eating a bunch of other people whilst holding on to him, and it should have been a combined effort between Han, Chewy, and Rey to save him … make it hard, make them earn it. [EDIT: Or just go Drinker's route and ditch this part altogether, meeting Han later] • The whole Starkiller base is kind of bleh, at the very least they should have explained how the one shot can be seen by everyone, and make us care about the people dying more … make it Coruscant that gets destroyer, not some random planet we know (and care) nothing about, and put Mon Motha on there or something. • The fight between Finn and the random Stormtrooper should have been between Finn and Phasma … and Phasma should have had Finn on the back foot during the whole fight until Chewy shoots her (just how he shot the stormtrooper, but Phasma instead). When Han, Finn and Chewy are captured, Phasma should have stood back up and helped catch them, showing her armor is one of the only armors that can withstand Chewy’s Bowcaster (which the movie has gone out of its way to show us how bad ass it is), this (both standing up after being shot, and aiding in their capture) would go a long way to actually making Phasma a bad ass. • Rey should not have been as good with the pistol as she was, show her out gunned, running for her life, injure her, and show her scared, but DESPITE all this, she doesn’t give up, and manages to take out a FEW stormtroopers before getting caught by Kylo. [EDIT: Drinker's idea of having Finn be the one captured could work too, it does give his arc more depth, and can further define the conflict between him and Phasma] • Develop the Starkiller base better, make it more its own thing, not just a bigger Deathstar … bleh. • Han and the Falcon’s hyperjump landing on Starkiller Base could have been a little better, play up the danger more, perhaps have the planet shields sheer away at the hull as they reenter, narrowly avoiding destruction, and have the landing be rougher. • Also, they should have taken a whole crew of Resistance Fighters with them, this should have been a mini-Rogue One movie right here, just to take out the Shield Generator. • The whole getting Phasma to disable the shield thing was stupid, she should have been an obstacle to overcome on the way to blowing the generator, not the pawn they use to achieve it. • Han’s death, I mean … I just wish that there had been more screen time between Kylo and Han, even if they had just talked a few times over comms. Develop that relationship, show the struggle within Kylo more, so it was more believable when he asks Han for help, and then offs him. • Chewy shooting him was awesome, and goes a long way to making latter events SLIGHTLY more believable. But I would have liked to have seen Chewy rage out even more, and this would have been a great moment for him to lead the charge as the Resistance fighters, against all odds, get the job done and blow the shields, allowing the Fleet to come in and attack the “oscillator”, and THEN if they wanted to say it wasn’t enough, they could have the ground troops do their thing. The battle should really escalate here, and be massive, ships everywhere, ground troops landing, walkers, the whole nine yards, this should have been the biggest battle out of any of the OT movies, have the Resistance earn every yard, tension building on the back of Han’s death. And this would have been a great time to have Kylo display more of his power, cutting down Resistance fighters as we transition to the fight in the woods. • The battle against Kylo in the woods should have involved Chewy too. Chewy blasts him, he manages to reflect but barely, as the blasts are powerful, then Chewy charges in with Finn and Rey, who all attack him together with Kylo managing to best them all, whilst showing obvious signs of being injured from the earlier Bowcaster blast. Chewy with his Wookiee strength manages to land a few good blows before being taken out, at which point Finn is quickly dispatched (having only been able to help with the lightsaber because Kylo was fighting three of them). THEN, already injured, and exhausted from having already bested TWO of them, he fights Rey who manages to land a few shots, but is ultimately outmatched. Kylo should almost be playing with her, alternating between taunting her, showing her how the dark side is better, and between trying to seduce her to join him. She can have her moment of force awakening, and fight back, determined not to give in, and even land a couple solid blows driving Kylo back momentarily, but once he sees she won’t be persuaded to join him, he fights back in earnest and she is defeated, only being saved by Chewy rejoining the fight with his Bowcaster, and pulling her (and Finn) to safety as the planet starts breaking apart. They make their way to the falcon and escape. • After the base is destroyed and they all get back to the Resistance, LEIA SHOULD NOT WALK RIGHT PAST CHEWY TO HUG BLOODY REY!!! • There should have been a funeral for Han, and then a reason why Leia couldn’t go with to find Luke, have something come up, pressure from the First Order, their fleet is on the move, time is of the essence. Chewy volunteers to go, Rey says she wants to go too to everyone’s surprise (except Leia who senses the Force in her and shares a few words of wisdom, perhaps hinting at Rey’s backstory a little? You know … SOMETHING!), then Poe volunteers to escort them. They set off to find Luke, and we leave it there… don’t have them find him, this is where the next movie starts, Poe, Rey, Finn*, Chewy, and R2 searching for and finding Luke etc. (*they'd need to establish a reason for Finn to go) ... And then a whole CRAP LOAD of Training for Rey…. And REASONS why Luke is hiding, that isn’t all just “I’m a grumpy old pessimist … boo-hoo.” Other than that, it is an okay film, not great, but you know … _okay._ It wasn’t as bad as I remembered, I mean there are the bones of a good story there, they just need a lot more world building, and fleshing out backstories would have been nice, even just an extra few paragraphs in the opening crawl, I mean, it’s there … USE IT!.

What's your protagonist's character flaw? She's Brie Larson.

We want "The Drinker Cut"!!! It's mind-blowing what happens when one finds an actual writer.

I absolutely love your version! Literally brought tears to my eyes!

We needed this version. Such an improvement!

She's a Disney princess. All that was missing was a musical number or two.

Ma-Rey Sue: The ultimate definition of living on God Mode.

This is the movie for me now. Thank you

I forgot I was watch a critique video and genuinely got invested in your version of the story. Amazing stuff!

Remember when the initial trailer came out and people thought Finn would turn out to be the next Jedi-in-training, with Rey acting as the scrappy mechanic sidekick?

Makes me wonder why they didn't hire any writers for these movies.

Dude, I actually dropped a couple of tears of emotion imagining you version. This was beautiful.

I only found your channel recently and am trying to catch up. So far, very impressive and inspiring. Thank you.

I saw an interview with Mark Hamill, where he said, he thought when Rey and Kylo were force fighting over the downed lightsaber in TFA, he thought he was going to catch it and fight off Kylo. THAT would have been a great way to bring back Luke. Great re-write Drinker. Better than all 3 movies combined.

I have never seen 4 characters with so much potential just be completely wasted. Good job Disney. You broccoli heads.

This is so true the emotional rollercoaster is what makes these movies exciting. Action to calm, Success to failure, hate to love etc. and flesh out the story and motivation to each of those turnarounds.

This was amazing. The way you talk through the talk points is already orders of magnitude more enjoyable than the actual film.

You nailed it. “She’s been through some stuff. Just trust us. Did you see how alone she was?” Except we only got FILLED IN on her struggles. We never actually witnessed one. Unlike well-written, sympathetic characters. Daisy Ridley is NOT to blame. She gave it her all, as did the entire rest of the cast and crew. This is on Disney, the directors, the writers, Bob Iger, and Kathleen Kennedy.

"Led by the Millennium Falcon." Legit got chills.

Holy God I needed this! Your version would have been epic! Thankyou!

wow that would be actually a movie where i was not shaking my head for about 2 hours streight. good job

Its amazing how much of a black hole Rey's character is, such that when you improve her, almost all the characters around her improve also.

I'm actually sad this isn't the real movie

I literally had more of an emotional reaction to this than I did to any of the sequels. Good writing doesn't have to be difficult

Love your insights and praise/crticizms of the movies you review, they are an honest appreciation. Just started on your fixes, and I only wish that they could've been used, deep insight and SENSIBLE!! Excellent job and channel!

Not capitalizing on Finn's ptsd, relationship with his brothers in arms, and possible relationship with Phasma was a literary crime. There was a whole movie in Finn alone. However, given that he was apparently assigned to janitor duty he should have had lower combat skill level than some other storm troopers in the movie because they would been assigned to the front lines and have more experience. On Liea and Rey-- while Liea talks to Rey- she doesn't *F**F*** treat her like her long lost beloved daughter. Leia treats Rey like a stranger and potential Jedi. One of the big Mary Sue indicators is unwarranted rushed respect, adoration, and affection of the author inserted character.

The 4 building blocks of Rey: 1: Motivation: GIRL POWER! YA! 2: Adversity: (You spelled "diversity" wrong...) 3: Strengths: YAAAAAAAAS!!!!! 4: Weaknesses: "Ah, hell, naw, to the naw naw naw!" Fixed it for ya.

I am working on a story with my friend from school and I always find your videos to be really helpful writing advice.

I really appreciate that you don’t just say what’s wrong, you show how it could be better.

Making Rey a selfish distrustful character in the beginning could have given her a dark side temptation arc that would have made significantly more interesting. Maybe even joining Kylo Ren before returning to the light

*The Drinker Fixes... Rey* "Is it Possible to Learn this Power?"

Dude. Your story analysis rings so true with me every time 👌Love💋

Sir...that was amazing. I was captivated just listening. Great job!

4:48 You forgot "Not immediately drown when she jumps in the ocean despite living on a desert planet nearly her whole life." Have you tried swimming in the ocean? It ain't like your pool!

I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t hate it if we got one of these for TLJ and RoS as well.

Just came across this....wow, I enjoyed and actually hung on every word of your revision......now I know why I've had such apathy about the new movies.

Mhhnn, that was an awesome video displaying how laughing scenes used to be done. Great playlist man, great playlist.

Mr. Drinker, you forgot to add "being able to swim despite having spent most her life on a desert planet" to her list of strengths. She has so many strengths that we can't help but forget some of them.

"See, even the most likeable character will generally start out with a flaw or 2, maybe they're Brie Larson" And subbed

Love this version ❤

Brilliantly done! 🎉

Can you imagine the roar from the theater when seeing the Falcon leading the fleet during the rescue? Would have been louder than thunder.

Disney's Star Wars: The Unflushable Turd.

This is the version I wanted, a strong woman character can be a very good protagonist, if written well, good job drinker.