The Evolution Of Masculinity: Why It’s So Hard To “Be A Man” 

Yes, this was kind of the point I wanted to underline-that much of what makes a good man, is simply just being a good person. However, I still think there are more traditionally masculine-specific characteristics, closer to what men are biologically predisposed to doing (which mostly focus on protection through physical aspects) that would help a lot of men feel like they have more purpose. But I agree with your point that expectations on men should be more elastic, and tried to argue this within the video

Society, at large, is constantly reassuring women that what they do is correct. Men, don’t necessarily get that reassurance.

^bingo@@2storycory2

This is a great point! This really made me think, love this response. You are right that much of what makes a good man, is a good person. However, I see a problem that people are saying masculinity is the opposite of femininity. It's a common mistake and I don't blame people at all, I thought the same as well. In terms of Yin and Yang, (like light and dark) yes, but with humans it's not so straightforward, there isn't a stark contrast. We are a mix of both. Some more then others, but still a mix. I wouldn't view them as opposing forces, rather analogous. Think of a color wheel. Masculinity and femininity are not blue and orange. They're more like a light blue and a dark blue. They're in the same field and right next to each other, but different intensities. What's interesting is that together, those colors cause a calming effect, which is how an ideal relationship should be. Anyways, I would say the opposite of masculinity is immaturity. Same with femininity. I don't want to insult mature females and say are the opposite of mature males. Some may say that with good intentions, other may say that in sexist and insulting ways. Being immature, incompetent, and hurtful to yourself and others is something i think we all agree on is not useful. There is a mix of both, masculine and feminine in men and women. I heard a saying that one guitar chord can play two different sounds. Think of that as masculinity and femininity. There are two different approaches. A man and women can do all things a good person does and be great men and women. On the other hand, masculinity and femininity is the most clearest in terms of relationships.There has to be a balance. For instance, masculinity and femininity isn't just a human thing, it's all over the animal kingdom. From there you see some basic things, although primitive, of the dynamic there. But what makes Humans special is that we evolve and change. I'm sure some further evolved animals could do the same. Men could do feminine things, like me for instance! I'm really in touch with my emotions for seeing things pleasing to the eye. That doesn't make me less of a man though. This is a great thing. And women can do more masculine things as well, such as having incredible muscles by deadlifting and keeping in shape, but it doesn't make her less then a woman though. Also pretty awesome. Like i said, men and women have both feminine and masculine energies. But to end it off, i think Cole is saying, and what i agree is, is to be the person who you want to be (with morals as well of course.) And masculinity and femininity are not just biological as i'm sure you know, but also constructed which I agree with you 100%. Skirts, the color pink, and creating art and so on are not strictly masculine or feminine. those are human cultural perceptions. All in all, take the best of both worlds and see what works for you. Only you know what's best for you and that's enough. No matter what your orientation, these values and ways of being are both for you, and both necessary to be a well-rounded and good human being:)

@@2storycory2 Then we should reassure men too. But why does that have to look like “if you do these things, great job, you’re masculine” and not “you can be masculine or feminine, as long as you keep the interests of others and yourself in balance”. I get it, it’s idealistic, but shouldn’t we still hope we can change things for men?

Much appreciated. All constructive feedback is welcome, so I don’t mind

Have you considered that all of the depression, anxiety and unaliveness is not caused by a philosophical crisis, but brain inflammation from not eating a human specific diet? 40% of 18 year olds have a mental illness in the US. Kids are getting fatty liver disease. Half the adult population is obese with several chronic conditions. People are making their brain cells out of inflammatory seed oils, eating endocrine disruptors and pesticides correlated with mental illness.

That's definitely a part of it@@-whackd

Not really lots of comments, just a few basement dwellers who trolled as soon as the video dropped who immediately got ratio'd lol

@@Vivi_9 Yeah looking back on the comment section after a few days you’re right lmao

I see it differently. Everyone is unique, different. Everyone perceives masculinity in their own way. So, if you are a man and you feel masculine, then everything you do is masculine. You be yourself. Just do what makes you happy and try to make others happy along the way.

@@ghourmi I would add one thing. Be yourself and work on yourself. Most people struggle to do both.

Cheers man, keep evolving

hahaha reading is dope, highly recommend

That's a cope if I heard one.

@@Babygirlly555 Someone needs to read a lot of Jung

Deep down souls are souls yes?

@tk-ol3ml Yes they are. Right on the bottom of deep ocean of materialistic thoughts there is a beatiful treasure you can discover. You can feel it on surface of the ocean and you have freedom to choose if you dive to into yourself for your soul or stay on the surface distracted by waves and fishes.

@@cameroncz3197 Like I said Cope.

Thank you man

Thanks for the recommendations!

Yeah, part is being a good man is just being a good person. That’s a point I made in my masculinity crisis video. I should’ve been more specific, but tried to mention how men should provide value through building up competent skills, protecting when needed since we are usually more physically capable of doing so…stuff like that

Thank you, this is exactly what I thought as well

Masculine qualities are blamed as the causes of all of the worlds violence. The phrase toxic masculinity is used as a cause for almost every crime a man commits. Nobody talks about toxic femininity. Everyone equates femininity with love and nurturing. I have never met a person who has ever thought a bad thing about feminiinity. How are you getting this conception that femininity is looked down upon?

It is a fact that we are not even doomed, but media exaggerated everything and creates extreme chaos

True, and I believe that would create a synthesis of: Much of what makes a great man is simply what makes a great person, but I shouldn’t been more specific regarding characteristics attributed solely to masculinity. That’s my mistake.

That’s was the stupidest thing ive ever endured reading. I suppose we should define a woman however we want as well? just ever share your thoughts again with anyone

Thanks dude

You wouldnt like philosophy 100 class. Maybe because youre depressed. Have you considered that locking yourself in your room, not getting natural sunlight, staring at screen lights for hours a day, and not having regular outdoor exercise will likely exacerbate your depressive feelings? If I was depressed, I would try to avoid things that increase depression.

@@-whackd I'm just tired of people on the internet crying that others don't live the way they want them tho (think of any "sigma male" role model) By isolating myself in my room I didn't mean not going outside, in fact every year I do more and more sport and it's not likely to change but I meant isolating myself from the people who want to judge me by their subjective "masculinity meter"

Bell Hooks is incapable of having empathy for men. She like most feminist believe that men are just women who have been broken by the patriarchy and they need women like her to fix them. She does not take a mans needs and perspective in relationships into account at all. Its all about what she wants and accusing men of being indoctrinated by the patriarchy if they disagree.

I also liked the way that you framed the two main schools of thought on the topic. It shed some light on where both camps are coming from, in terms of their beliefs. I personally like to think of the idea that in each of us we have both masculinity and femininity, and whilst they are somewhat linked to gender/sex, there's a lot of variation in each of us. I also like to look at masculine as external acting energy and feminine as internal reflective, though I believe there is both a small amount of masculine energy within feminine energy, and vice versa. Like the yin inside the Yang and vice versa. The external displays of being well dressed, fit/healthy (or even athletic), protective, financially stable are all, to me, reflections of inner truths and values. For example, an inner sense of dignity can influence someone to dress more elegantly and someone who values self discipline enacts this by taking care of their body. It seems like there's a feminine element to, what I'd label 'fully realised masculinity', in so much that the external expression depends on the internal conditions of that person. And similarly, the external expression can also influence inner beliefs and conditions, perhaps in a 'fake it till you make it' fashion (to put it simply). Anyway, again - cool video. Interesting, balanced take on it. I haven't seen many other videos showing someone take a step back to look at more than one perspective, in the same way you did in yours. Kudos.

Thank you for watching them

They aren't a red flag overall, just in the dating aspect. Just expect them to trust you and give you independence.

That's just a conspiracy theory. The reality is that obesity is caused by mental illness social isolation. You are mixing up cause and effect. Obesity and pour diet are symptoms not causes.

Lol, strongly agree 💯

Thank you

If you don't mind, what cartoon was it?

Lloyd in Space. The first episode.

Thanks for the comment. I think most men would benefit from harnessing the more traditionally associated things with masculinity, but in a way that isnt directly harming others (unless we consider standing up for oneself and having respect for oneself, which sometimes angers people, harming people)

Traditional masculinity just means hunting.

​@@-whackd I'm pretty sure it does not, did you watch the video?

Ater briefly searching it up on google, it looks worth diving into. Will check it out

The mythopoetic movement are just man hatters who took the man hating aspects of feminism and got rid of all the female empowerment and just kept the man hate.

You can thank my editor for that. He killed this one!

@@blitz3276 What the heck does that even mean

Love to hear that

Well deserved profile picture

Thank you 🙏

Yes, this was kind of the point I wanted to underline-that much of what makes a good man, is simply just being a good person. However, I should’ve expanded upon those points to have masculine-specific characteristics

@@ColeHastings ah, gotcha! Makes sense, keep up the good work. I love listening to your stuff on self care days

Written like a picture perfect narcissist

@@Cookiekeks it's unavoidable i guess, and it's not aa bad thingas long as you are nice to others ,being narcissitic isn't bad, it's bad if you decide to think of it that way

@@davidforero-yv8ds It is bad, for your own mental health, for your social skills, and for your perceived likeabiliy. The way your comment was written just screams arrogance to me.

@@Cookiekeks back when i was a kid i used to care about likeability, quite toxic if you ask me , for the sake of friendship and acceptance and a " good image " , you must know what to speak , what to say , how to look , i hate it all. when you are prone to trying to get being liked it's even worse for my mental hate Being hater being yourself or being liked for being a fake I am more prone to accepting rejection , you know getting disliked is no so bad in life either , once you get used to being alone is not all that bad , besides even if i show myself saying something " likeable" all for the sake of being " liked" for being fake i would get nothing

Yeah…he did. Your point?

You need to start to think for yourself and stop letting Jordan Peterson tell you what to think. Mental freedom should be your first priority, if you can't have that then you cannot have any form of freedom.

@@treeforged9097 I do think for myself. For example, I came to the conclusion that you were a douche all on my own. I'm just messing with you BTW, I don't know you well enough to actually think that you're a douche. It is bold of you to assume that I don't think for myself though.

Now I know the human brain has to interpret sensory information so to say but we can still gather enough info to understand truth or facts. Now it's true masculinity is a social construct all together that is completely true.

By communicating more I guess

You need to take time and sit down with her and have a serious talk. Explain your concern and let her explain hers. If at the end thing are fixed, great, if not, then it wasn’t meant to be.

This was kind of the point I wanted to underline-that much of what makes a good man, is simply just being a good person. However, I should’ve expanded upon those points to have masculine-specific characteristics. I think I do a better job of that in my “masculinity crisis” video, whereas this video was more so focused on how we form the concept of masculinity and how that shapes our perception of it

@@ColeHastings thank you for clarifying.

The most general advice I can give is to provide more value and solutions to the world through building up a useful skill

Money money money money. What is money? How does money work? What are banks? How do banks work? How does credit work? What’s the value of my currency vs the currency of other countries? This is the kind of mentality you need to switch to. Stop asking questions to strangers who have no interest in helping you solve the same problem every single living human on this planet is trying to solve. You have the internet, you have access to free AI, the worlds most powerful tool ever seen yet that isn’t even fully understood by it’s own creators. You are now living in a new world and if you want to survive, your mind needs to be thinking about money and figuring out how to get it YOURSELF. Be independent in the sense that your future depends entirely on what that consciousness of yours decides what to do in each and every passing moment of presence. Start now.

​@@ColeHastingscringe

Well said. The idea of 'balance in all things' has been my philosophy before I ever found Taoism.

So basically you apply the consept of masculinity and femininity to objects and say it’s that side?

What a strange take. You equate all dichotomies with male and female, thereby making the words meaningless.

Hi

Learning to fight has not helped with protecting anyone for more than a hundred years. No amount of fighting is going to get you to be apple to stop a bullet. The idea that you are ever going to have to physically fight someone as an adult in a western country for protection is a ridiculous idea. The amount of time men are now wasting learning sports games like Brazilian jujitsu, which is a game by the way, is preventing them from doing something actually useful with there lives. Women don't want providers they want to provide for themselves. Women also don't want kids anymore so they can pursue there career. So in summery protecting is no longer needed and providing and fathering is no longer wanted.

sewercide

Ah ! thanks.@@konicanrex7153

Suicide.

I would too if I were one

Sorry for your misfortune

@@Timmy-mi2ef wdym sorry? being a girl isn’t THAT bad

@@ineedusernameideas1184 was just joking along

To me it seems masculine bc women dont worry about that

Prove it by dating a man with cats instead of just saying it. Women say there attracted to a lot of non traditionally masculine things but when those non traditional men start asking them out then they revert to "your so nice but I just don't see you that way". The proof is in the action not the words.

I dont know if you havent heard, but Jesus Christ died. It was actually quite an eventful thing (2000 years ago). Unfortunately he didnt write anything about his message, but he was another prophet of God.