The more i watch your videos, the more I realize how much of a open minded person you are, your vids feel like a conversation with my own mind. Glad i subbed mate.
I think we should bring back the overall values that men (some) held with for years, mainly involving confidence, the desire to always pursue foward and not giving up, respecting others and caring for those who need it. All of the other factors are just attributes, being toxic or doing "feminine" things won't you make less or more of a man.
In my opinion, being a man ultimately means taking a greater responsibility over yourself. responsibility over your health, wealth, family and legacy. the other traits such as strength, wisdom and knowledge are just traits that help you take care of those responsibilities.
I dont know where the need to be more of man comes from, when I do not myself have that need, when just want to enjoy my own life, but with partner its better you to take the man role and she takes the woman role.
True Masculinity is knowing who you are called to be via your life circumstances, and becoming the man, embodying the qualities so you can best life your life and serve the ones you are meant to serve!
To me, masculinity is simply taking the lead, pursuing life goals, not needing to succumb to societal pressures and taking care of your family, lover and friends.
Yes! its Listening to what you are being called to embody and tending to the commitments that you choose in life that will continually aid in you becoming your best self!
The reason why I love Cole's videos, is that he gives such a great perspective which is independant from the "self improvement space". His videos have helped me (with the help of a therapist aswell) rebuild myself from a point of hopelessness and depression into an emotionally healthy man who is resilient, stronger mentally and physically and just much happier with life in general. I'm so glad I've found your channel, keep doing what you are doing :)
LOL That's what a fucking decent parent automatically is supposed to do! Jesus H Christ. This isn't rocket science and you need some RU-vidr with no experience in life to tell you that? LOL
I have been through a lot of self improvement channels, but among them all, Cole, you offer the most realistic, rational, empathetical and progressive understanding of masculinity. Your content is just so relatable for most men including me because some other channels put more light on unrealistic expectations from men and normalize not loving yourself and striving to be perfect but you manage to convince us that the light is on the other side
Glad I fell on this. Being a man means respecting yourself, others and doing the best you can while experiencing this life. Thank you for making the content you do, it's very much appreciated.
Thanks for the video Cole. The irony is that masculinity-related self help and media people are bad role models, and I think a lot of us grew up with 0 positive, male role models. The best thing I've done is to try and live like the role model younger me needed, and I think a lot of people would find value being their own role model as well
Traditional masculinity has been slandered by history and media, sometimes for good reason. I think a better way to frame it would be “healthy masculinity” Traditional as a word has negative associations unfortunately. I think it also empowers/drives feminists to feel that they are revolutionizing male/female society when we use “traditional.” Traditional is often linked to “outdated” or “old way of thinking” and therefore incorrect. We will always need masculinity snd feminism as they are just two different parts of the same whole.
No they are not, feminism is irrational and has no place in the natural order. It is a civilisation ending event. If we dont assert it other cultures wil and prevail. Tradition exists cause it works.
Unfortunately, conservatives bring themselves a bad reputation by refusing to accept that things change and constantly attacking people for not following the same standards they did decades ago.
In China and Japan, historically, they handled this better. A true warrior was just as experienced in caligraphy, music, art, and philosophy, as he was in the martial arts. It was all about balance, which we in the West have a hard as fuck time doing. Here we just love polarization. It has to be one side or the other, in a never-ending pendulum.
Life has taught me that being aggressive or at least insensitive isn't the end of the world and that other people are going to be like that to me too, as they were before. Thus, I began taking these two traits less harshly, even though I am quite sensitive myself. I cannot change the world and changing myself isn't always an effective solution to see the change happen externally. Aside from a few voluntary, formal changes at times, I just succumb to intuition.
To me as a women, masculine qualities i desire and appreciate are... A man can initiate, lead with confidence and certainty within him self. He's present + listens deeply. Gives space + can hold the full spectrum of a women's expression. Can handle critisism without feeling hurt, blamed or shamed. 0 fluff, shows up in action to what he says he will do. He's intregral with his word. He has muscles + is physically strong. Can provide financially or has the ability to provide shelter, to hunt, gather and kill when needed. Gentlemen like qualities such as opening the door for a women, letting her go first, carry her bag for her. Respectful, emotionally mature, knows how to communicate and take responsibility for his shit. Treats the women and the relationship with sacredness + devotion.
Ah yes good old times when you were shipped to other country where you suffer and die because some politicians said so. It is peak masculinity to go through traumatic experinces
Okay but the whole point of rejecting modernity is rejecting being gay, it's not "homophobic" if we don't wanna associate or condone those peoples delusions bruv. We just don't fucks with it because we are men. They can be gay on their own, we couldn't care less. The problem is when they force is unto us, men.
I always felt like it should be changed to "let modernity be, embrace masculinity." Having a "live and let live" outlook is INCREDIBLY masculine. LGBTs aren't delusional or anything, they're just dealing with things the way they think is best. Sure SOME of them go out of their way to endanger the livelihoods of those not of their kind but that's a tribalist issue which transcends sex/gender/race/age/whatever. Attacking stuff? Not masculine at all. In fact that's toxic femininity since you seek approval when you attack stuff and all forms of approval seeking is toxic femininity.
I'm a woman and watched this whole video completely agreeing with you and often feeling sorry for men in general. It helped me to understand what I would look for in a healthy man, physically and emotionally. Also, I find it ironic that you have the ultimate giga Chad Guts on your computer screen 🤣 but that makes sense cuz even he had to learn how to become emotionally mature, especially in the Conviction Arc and beyond.
Masculinity is a special thing being forgotten and almost vilainized. This video is definitely helpful in seeing a positive side to it all. Femininity is easy to do without being labeled toxic, while we men need to all get help with finding positive masculine outlets. I feel for those that don't know how to find the help and the end results of that. Great video!
YES! Its our role to create space in brotherhood to help channel the positive masculine outlet. When the masculine has space to express EVERYTHING in a loving container, so much healing happens between the masculine and the feminine collectively because of a deeper embodiment of balance.
I don’t think people as a whole are villainizing masculinity. The problem is that people hear toxic masculinity and dudes hear masculinity is toxic and it isn’t at all.
bro if there was world war i would particapate and fight just like my ancestors did,thats what they fought for,they fought for us to have peace and freedom,i dont get comparing ww2 men to modern day
As a stepmom that can't have my own kids I want my son to have, to make this simple, a future. I was raised by my grandparents and stayed glued to my grandfather outside, which was ALL THE TIME. I had great examples that is really hard to keep up with but why???? Well my grandmother couldn't raise us properly without a fight from those around us. It put her in the grave before her time. I now struggle trying to fight for my son against his father and those around us. I almost want to give up sometimes!!!!!! I reach out to some great men around us (an 89 year old man that drives his John Deere like a monster truck for one👍) but neighbors getting involved has burnt them too many times for them to really help. 🤷 I don't want to be in an early grave like my grandmother!!!!!! I tried so hard in the beginning but on year 7 I don't compare as a mother to the mother I was 7 years ago!!!!
(very long read) When I was in college I had a girl that was the best to me when I was Happy. She was nurturing, caring and loving in everyway. Then came 2019 and a full swing of depression ( I lost 3 family members and almost my little brother). The depression got worse along with the stress of what I couldn't control and I leaned into the love and nurturing she gave me. The acceptance came at a price and she left me, she said I was selfish, weak and wasn't a man. She blocked me everywhere and started her career. My family telling me that the person that actually listened to me never cared. Like my world wasn't upside down. To get over it. But not just me, I've seen men time and time again learn the same lesson and I hear it from my female friends on how much of a loser this once amazing guy was now that he's going through something and wants to cry to them to process it. I've seen women go back to emotionally unavailable partners, abusive ones, but not emotional ones. These are the guys that they talk about with contempt. He " tricked them" or "they aren't a match." The ones the break up with mentally for 2 months ahead of time instead of sitting down to tell their partner. " I know your hurt, but I miss you the way you were, how do we get back to that and how can I help?" It's just something so small to ask but it's not done often.
My uncle told me two things... 1 - You spend a lot of time crying and complaining about things you're going to look back as an old man and realize how much of that time was wasted. 2 - Wanna get out of a hole? dig a pathway out of it, now down it.
There's this anime that came out in the 2006 and it's about a boy named Kenichi, a highschool student who joins a karate dojo because he wants to get strong and defend himself against the delinquents. Kenichi isn't your typical masculine mc because he's not confrontational, he enjoys watering followers and his kind to others. He's surround by big macho men who can smash a wall with the bare hands and ain't afriad into getting into fights. Kenichi feels like he can't live up to those people and at some point feels down but his grit, determination and love he has for his friends and family pushes him forward to learning karate. The show is called Kenichi the mightiest disciple. Great show (currently watching it)
What it means to be masculine changes as I get older. Masculinity for me is someone who is mentally and physically fit and resilient. They know the work that needs to be done and get it done. They aren’t emotionless but know how to manage and work through their emotions, they accept their fears and move forward anyways. They’re vulnerable without wallowing in self pity. They learn from their mistakes and are conscientious. They know their strengths but don’t see the need to flaunt it, and understand their blind spots
If men aren’t physically capable, then there truly isn’t a reason for men. Then “party boys” isn’t masculinity. That’s just stupidity. Every man (and maybe woman?) should try to be a “Renaissance Man”, striving to achieve a level of physical and mental achievement. A man who is strong without any brains is worse than the opposite, I will agree there, but men need both. But being mentally strong is not just academics. A big part is discipline and that’s why those party boys aren’t masculine, they are slaves to their impulses and emotions.
I think people ahould just be what rhey want to be as long as it makes them happy and doesnt hurt anyone else Trying to fit someone itno a box they dont want to be in isnt gonna do anything good for them
if men can't be slaves to women then there is n reason for their existence eh? got it lowlife. go be a pack mule for some women you worship and leave other males alone.
Apparently excersize increases testosterone, and tesosterone has a massive link with academic studiousness. Honestly bro I might just start doing that.
We had to get rid of a tenant in my sister's house recently. He owed over 5 grand in rent ( his room was €420 a month ......beautiful house, lovely part of the city ). He made the other tenants lives hell with him being up all night playing video games. In the end, he was simply refusing to leave. The police were involved. I saw him for the first time the day it all kicked off and the words out of my mouth where "god help us". Not only was he refusing to pay rent and basically financially and socially shitting on the other tenants and WILFULLY UNEMPLOYED, he was a grossly overweight, smelly individual with the same attitude as a toddler having a tantrum. I said very little to him, but he took a step back when I said " some day your parents are going to get sick, amd you're going to have to man up amd look after them". He is nearly 30 years of age and I've seen 5 year olds with more cop on. He was weak in EVERY area.
Thank you man This helped me realize that I've been doing things right and I'm not doing anything wrong on how to be a man and be happy with myself. I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
That's the thing i have against all of those people saying traditional masculinity this traditional masculinity that, why do your point your own misconception of what masculinity as if it was considered by the whole men community as a truth ? People who begin musculation with weak mentality like i will tower over people change while doing musculation, by becoming stronger, by having more testosterone they get better, they can get over their own mental weakness and become a more "peacefull force". Who are you to decide that what traditional masculinity encourage is actually any sort of weak minded idea like towering over people ? Please remember the history, the fact that the idea of a knight in 1200 is actually EXTREMLY FAR from such a superficial idea of strength like towering over other. Please in the name of god stop puting your own past misconception on masculinity. It's not that traditional masculiny is violent or cancerous, it's just that you never understood it from the begining.
Having a powerful strong body goes hand In hand with being confident and masculine’. What I don’t get is how men are describing BAD women as being ‘too masculine’! 😂 That’s still saying that masculinity is a bad thing !? 😂 In regards to your LGBTQ comment. Those people all don’t like each other either lol 😂
Holy shit! How do I explain this videos perfection. At first I saw this and thought here we go again, because I just saw one with a similar title, watched it and said, “this can’t be the right way” spent 20 minutes thinking about it and then saw this. The mental aspect was perfect! Then heard the second half started thinking he might slip up and then boom another bang in the second half. This was just pure perfection.
Nice video. I like how you emphasize on positive features. From the woman's point of view the incels and the aggressive masculine men are creeps. Can you imagine, that somebody physically stronger than you tries to dominate you. Or somebody, who is physically stronger with a lack of emotions tries to start a romantic partnership with you. That's really creepy. I'd prefer an open and emotional man to strong and masculine in traditional way.
I like how this vid tells guys to find their balls and take responsibility but at the same time be true to themselves,pursue what gives them joy and share emotions constructively I listen to these other arm chair alphas on YT hyping you up like they're the love child of rambo/chuck norris but they give superficial advice meant to stroke their egos
This is what I needed to hear, thank you for making this video, if it spreads far enough Im sure this will save a lot of men from the microcosm that societal norms and their own misguided ideas have trapped them in.
In the West, dads tell their kids to play a bunch of sports, in the East, our dads tell us to do a bunch of studies, but what about girls, discipline, money, careers, other aspects of life? It’s something that only the father can teach their son, the masculinity is a skill set.
Being a real man takes effort and patience, but is possible:- eat healthy but real food, frequent the gym, stay off drugs and alcohol, grow some stubble, learn to fix things around the house, drive a pickup truck that allows you to carry things associated with these tasks, stand up to women when you don't agree with them:- this sends out a message that if you stand up to them, you'll stand up FOR them. Straight women don't want feminine men that remind them of their female friends they have coffee and go shopping with. They want.........a MAN. Bedtime performance can be improved by good diet, ridding all drugs from your life and learning to control your nerves. Impotence is often caused not by any medical condition, but nerves, particularly if it's a new partner. And you can't expect to perform well in bed if you've just downed twenty cold ones at the bar. Just give it away.......and add twenty years to your life.🚴💪🤠👍
Very well and thoughtout video. It has pretty much everything I have looked up about being a "man" and executed in an informative and entertaining way. Love it
I think we should simply leave people do what they want with themselves. And also not blame feminism immediately. I talked to many feminists and most just want females to be empowered. Not to execute masculinity, only check the dangerous and violent behaviors. That women have too!
It's simple. Life is easier now. Be thankful you're not sent off to war never to return or your family is not starving in winter. Compared to most of history, we got it good. Real good.
Hi, Cole! Loved the video, man, it was beautiful! Thank you for your work! ❤️ If I might add to the discussion, I think that traditional masculinity is so rooted in our minds and our communication that even when we talk about sex - mainly as a cis white males -, we talk about having sex to a woman, we talk heteronormatively, not taking into count the fact that we could be making love to any other type of human being.
Haha, who would expect that those weak men guys with toxic masculinity scream about, are themselves? Great job, Cole, I like how you expand the thesis in the name into something more profound. I also made a video about rejecting weakness reject masculinity haha but IMHO it makes more sense than most of them
I also noticed that females are more cofortable with sharing their day to day failurs, it is normal to not be perfect, not secseed in evriting, and even to be cluless abaut something and get emberesed. when you get over that, you get more relaxsed, and not afraid to try new things
To be a man is to keep peace with reality and bring order and wellbeing to society. Thats why we have to go against AbCD agenda. We dont give a damn about people sexuality. We fight against groomers. As men we protect, our women and children
Masculinity means being both mentally and phisically strong in order to use Power dominance and assertiveness to defend those who can't defend themselves.
Being a man is not about how aggressive you are, the number of woman you sleep with, or how muscular you are. It’s about not abdicating your responsibilities unto others, and accepting things that are out of your control. All you may control is your actions; are you going to work today, or put in an excuse. Will you do something that makes your forefather proud, or have them roll their eyes.
There are great things about ideal masculinity, just as how there are great things about the ideal femininity, but nobody is perfect. It's impossible to achieve it
This is the best way to go about the redpill. not absorbing EVERYTHING but taking the specific parts that you find valuable in your own s.i. journey. Some people are built to be hyper masculine, while some men are built to be have more feminine temperament. the conclusion says this in a more poetic way.
Masculinity is important to human civilization but the are many forms of it and all of them play a part in making the human tribe complete. You can be a warrior, built like Adonis, with an arsenal at your disposal. That's certainly considered masculine, but you can also be a skinny guy who can build or fix anything and that is just as masculine. Both forms are needed too, among many others. To me the basis of masculinity comes in responsibility and loyalty to your friends and family, willingness to sacrifice for them, and stoicism *when appropriate*. Men shouldn't be emotional tanks holding in all their emotional pain like we are traditionally taught, but at the same time standing tall and being the emotional rock for your family can be critical in bad times (which is basically just another spin on responsibility and sacrifice). During the good and calm times talking to friends or therapist (if that's your thing) is important to keep you emotionally healthy. If you will allow me a few more minutes of you time in expanding on my comment, I'd like to explain how I came to this conclusion about being a man. It all had to do with my circle of friends growing up. I had a handful of very close, very loyal male friends all of which I am still best friends with to this day. We were a formidable group because we were incredibly well rounded masculinity wise. I tended to always be the leader, the organizer, the planner, the builder - nothing would happen if I didn't plan it out and coordinate. Its still like this 25 years later 😂. That said, I have never had a fist fight a day in my life or shot a gun. My other buddy was the big strong guy, the athlete, the intimidating physical presence. Buddy 3 was the lean, fit, professionally trained fighter who knows how to fight with fists or guns. Then my other buddy was a little of all of us mixed together but could also endure ridiculous amounts of physical pain and was highly intelligent. The last friend was of course the lady's man who could have any woman he wanted. It annoyed us sometimes, but at the same time the girl he went after usually had friends with her that the rest of us would go after. I am so thankful I had this growing up because it helped me to never question what it was to be a man as I could see so many forms of it and how it works for different people.
& I’ve been pro nerd lifestyle, pro autism, pro revolutnist and pro masculinity’s June childhood & teenhood and ain’t stopping anytime soon and I’m too pissed on how the working is working to kill it!
@@Z-A-C If you have been really been on self improvement this whole time then you would have good mental health and wouldn't feel like shit. Watch Hamza if you need help
"If everyone is the leader, who makes up the tribe?" A friend told me this when he noticed his coworkers weren't talking to each other. Everyone was so desperate to one up each other, nothing got done at all
A truly good leader would put the goals and the well-being of their group ahead of their own interests. If a leader is primarily worried about their own status, they aren't much of a leader.
Remember, any man who judges by appearance is he himself not yet a man, but still in the process of becoming man. For any balanced and embodied in the masculine would not judge your masculinity by physique, rather the qualities beholden on the inside!
@@kevji yeah, but are you even ripped dude? jk 😆 I agree with you, but also wonder if I'm just telling myself as a cope because I don't like lifting very much
I dont know what self improvement you listen to but no one cares if you are ripped other then other men. Being somewhat fit is important, ripped really no one cares.
While I may make the case for skinny guys being 'just as much men' as ripped guys.. Guys, fact is, I do wanna be ripped. Staying in peak physical shape is something that I think everyone deserves, and these normalisations therefore are very, very limiting. I've seen such tremendous improvements in my life as I started getting 'ripped' and it's definitely not just other guys who care. People definining masculinity and feminity are the problem, not those two pure energies. In all their constructive and destructive forms.
@@someonestrange2818 not true. Women cannot filter between emotional and logical decisions as effectively as men can. This is proven. Stop lying to yourself
@@r.a1301 It's the other way around dude. Men are so incapable of differentiating between their personal feelings and objective reality and the way it affects other people beyond personal interests they start WARS over petty beef. Women are better at managing their emotions in general. they're much more empathic.
I believe this discussion will help out both women and men in understanding the real meaning of masculinity. It’s not about the appearances. There’s always a layer to it that needs to be further recognized. Thanks for speaking out on this. We all appreciate your hard work and effort. May God bless you and this channel.
I turned 22 a few weeks ago and have been actively trying to become a better man since my stay in hospital in September, after a mix of physical and mental illnesses got out of hand (depression, malnutrition, near chronic pain due to terrible atopic dermatitis). Ever since my stay and 2 weeks talking with grounded patients, nurses and doctors, I realised how truly messed up my life had been ever since my mother passed away 10 years ago. The pain and struggle I had walked around with silently, which others may have noticed but found more convenient to ignore (including myself) was given actual recognition. Nurses would examine my skin and apologise that I was in such a bad condition. Doctors were amazed I was walking through my everyday in such a poor state and wondered why I wasn't hospitalised sooner. Being treated like the young, curious, fragile human that I am for the first time in 10 years was indescribable. I felt odd. Confused. Apologetic and worried that I was doing something wrong by having others worry about me, because causing others to worry has only ever earned me scolding and scorn or used against me. Since leaving, I have noticed much more about the world and myself. Whilst I still notice the massive gaps of love in my life, I also take pleasure in the small instances that reaffirm that I am human, vulnerable, ignored but also present. Food tastes great. I'm not freezing. I read and write. My skin isn't causing me constant pain. I walk around and act honestly. Whilst the world is still as hostile and ingenuine as ever, that little reminder that agony doesn't have to be the default makes it all so much more pleasant. Even if my only motivations are tasty food and an uncertain future-me, I'll be happy with that. Whatever comes, comes. Whatever leaves, leaves. But I'm here to stay - whatever the reason - who cares. I've returned a little to the child that wanted to be a good guy. I like dumbass things. I like seeing others happy. I like noticing where I can improve. So I talk honestly, but don't lie or maintain conditional relationships. Sure, I can feel slight melancholy at the people who still have the love of their parents, who enjoy young love and have moan about the most minor of things. The fact that life is so good for others, kind of reassures and soothes me that life is honestly sweet - even just subjectively. Even if I'm not part of that side of things, it's nice to see. The least you can do is not ruin it, whilst replicating a version of it for yourself. Don't reproduce your own personal hell bros, please. Don't feel ashamed that you're familiar with hell or hateful that others aren't. Hell isn't home for anyone. But definitely secure your own slices of heaven and don't let anyone - ANYONE - stop or guilt you. P.s. shoutout to my local homeless dude that gave me my first real hug in years when I was depressed af, and the one cat who randomly approached me on the street and now meows and rubs against me whenever I see it. It's the small stuff.
People who have severe eczema seriously don't get the recognition they deserve. People don't realize it's not just unsightly, or very uncomfortable. It's literally painful. No matter what lotions or creams you use your skin always feels so tight, you can move certain ways because if you do it splits and cracks open... It's hell. I'm very happy Dupixent gave me my life back.
@@pyroblade452 seriously, I'd wake up in pain and have to work through the day in agony, just to look forward to passing out in bed from the exhaustion😅. It really is something most people just can't relate to without experience - even doctors vary. Everything is getting better now and I was also recommended to go onto a dupixent course, but haven't started because I'm not sure about it. Would you mind please sharing your experience of using the treatment because I have nobody to talk to about it😓
My gosh… I felt every word you wrote… this is exactly how I feel. Your experience is hard, I am sorry you went through all of this and I am very sorry about your mom ♥️♥️ Depression can make it all too unbearable, I know.
I disagree masculinity has a moral component. Most masculine men in history were often hateful, tyrants, criminals, etc. Masculinity is not good or bad, it is a trait.
some people from the left and right would misinterpret toxic masculinity as masculinity in itself being toxic when really that's not the case. toxic masculinity is looking down upon others. real masculinity is self improvement and uplifting others
Than why tf put the word "masculinity" besides "toxic" in the first place when you could just use "toxic behavior" (which actually is precisely what you describes)? No mate, people who came up with the term "toxic masculinity" did this exactly because they wanted to dish out on masculinity itself. You have to be extremely naive to no recognize that.
this video clear my doubts i was so depressed and hard on my self trying to be completely different person. iwas so afraid if i do something wrong people will view me as a weak man . Thank you so much!
Every Great man has failed 1000 times over! True Masculinity isnt succumbing to what the outside world tells you to be but rather embodying the man that you want to be, the man you know you can be, and authentically expressing yourself!
Jesus was an example of a man. Assertive but kind, generous, didn't give up, treated women with dignity and respect, didn't berate his friends when they made even the same mistakes. He was strong for what was right, and even as a perfect guy, asked his father for help, which is humility. He was approachable too, and courageous. He wasn't afraid to show emotion and his feelings and cry. He felt emotions such as empathy and compassion, but always in a balanced way and he didn't make decisions purely on them, rather he thought things out. I used to struggle with porn addiction, which led to PIED, and food addiction. I definitely didn't feel better sleeping with whoever I wanted though, just wasn't fulfilling. I still needed to come to grips with not having a good role model as a father - he was not really approachable and quite unreasonable -, the emotional trauma of being from a divorced family, and learning to love myself before starting a serious relationship. My exes complained I didn't talk enough too. I listen decently but for them to feel closer to me I had to be vulnerable too
I’ve always seen it this way: healthy masculinity is about protecting the vulnerable. Toxic masculinity is about harming them. It’s a shame society (and some men) get the two confused. Real, healthy masculinity can be really vital and beautiful for people who want to choose and develop it. Shame masculinity is just associated with crazies like Andrew Tate 😂
@@stryfe0 Weird way of looking at it. On some level, I agree with improving strength, and yes, it is important skill to not be overly vulnerable in life. But at the same time, you are never given authority to walk all over someone just because they are too weak to stop you. That's where the toxicity part comes in! I like what @thatpoeticthug said, quoting Jordan Peterson. Having the strength to do terrible things but choosing not to is a sign of great fortitude and power, far more so than using your destructive capabilities. And, though I wasn't clear, I was using the idea of vulnerable mostly in regards to people like children, the disabled, or the elderly. These are all people who are vulnerable, but what are they supposed to do about it? Not be old? Just stop being a child? They deserve to be honored and protected! In some cases, I was even talking about women. That's the idea of old-fashioned knights, and chivalry. In concept, that is the exemplification of healthy masculinity. Not saying that women are always vulnerable, and they are of course every inch as intelligent, clever, and important as men. I strive to never be a "vulnerable" women in many ways, by having a quality education, working to do well in my job, staying away from compromising situations. But, though we have our own incredible and unique strengths, women are usually physically weaker than men. I work to not be mentally or emotionally vulnerable (except with those I trust), but I will always be physically vulnerable. If, God forbid, I was ever in a dangerous situation, a man who stepped in to help would be an example of positive masculinity. The man who attacked would not be. That was what I meant by that comment. Sorry for the long reply, but hope that cleared some things up!
@@kaitlynkenney5417 I would like to protect the vulnerable, but the vulnerable needs to learn that you don’t bite the hand that saves you 🤷♂️. We aren’t in the Middle Ages anymore, we’re in a world where men r told that they must protect/ forfeit their lives for a collective that talks shit about them, sounding unappreciative, whiny. A collective that wouldn’t even return the favour. Women are strong and independent and don’t need a man,and like you said are every inch as intelligent and important as men. Protect yourself, there are ways of not always being physically vulnerable.
Something I have found out while dating my girlfriend is that emotional connection is very important. What I mean is my girlfriend sees when I struggle and when I fail. I want her to see the best of me and the worst of me. I try to be as transparent as I possibly can, I dont overwhelm her with my emotions, but I definitely show that I have feelings. I dont bottle up my emotions, I convey how I feel, some people have a hard time doing that or people are analytical/logic based. Making emotions hard to understand. All this to say that it is an integral part of any relationship with a significant other to convey/explain emotions without becoming overbearing. This will pay dividends in the coming future. If your significant other wont listen to your emotions and vice versa, good luck having a healthy relationship. It builds trust and longing for each other as you both confide in each other for emotional support. Kind of like how any healthy relationship works.
For me, true masculinity revolves around taking care of yourself, understanding that u need to get your life in order first b4 you start really searching for the right person (man or woman) that u wanna be with. Yes, you can have fun. All work and no play makes one go crazy. But, u need to take care of your priorities. That’s of the utmost importance. Here’s another crucial thing. If u have a good moral compass, you’re truly masculine. For my fellow heterosexuals who are possibly here, women love that! 👍🏻
When it comes to relationships, remember though, maintaining them isn’t all on you. I see too many guys getting into relationships where their partner acts like a child for them to take care of. And unless the guy is a pedo, I can’t see that being appealing.
