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The Expectation Trap vs Cycle For Success 

Nicholeen Peck - Teaching Self Government
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Setting expectations can really help because this leads us to raise our standards and reach our goals! But these can also sometimes go the wrong way and bring disappointment. In this video, I'm going to teach you The Expectation Trap vs The Cycle For Success so you can learn how to set these expectations wisely!
Watch and Enjoy!
Nicholeen Peck
Teaching Self-Government
Key Moments in this Episode
========================
00:00 Intro & Summary
01:17 What My Husband's Perfect Day Looks Like
03:11 The Reality Of My Husband's Perfect Day
04:19 What My Perfect Day Looks Like
05:54 The Importance Of Expectations
07:56 What The Expectation Trap Looks Like
08:21 The Power Of Emotions
09:19 Expectation As The Root Of Our Security
10:30 How Changing My Expectations Changed My Life
12:44 The Expectation Trap: Setting Expectations
13:07 The Expectation Trap: Preparing
13:27 The Expectation Trap: Taking Action
13:42 The Expectation Trap: Going Off Course
14:31 The Expectation Trap: Feeling Discouraged/Frustrated
15:23 The Importance Of Defining Family Roles
17:10 How To Know If You Have Family Roles Problems
18:43 The Expectation Trap: Getting Grumpy
19:13 The Expectation Trap: Getting Impatient
20:38 The Expectation Trap: Getting Angry
21:52 The Expectation Trap: Feeling Guilt
23:48 The Expectation Trap: Reinventing Yourself
25:23 Where The Expectation Trap Can Happen
27:09 Expectation As The Picture Of A Possibility
27:57 What It Means To Be An Idealist
28:47 The Cycle For Success: Pre-Teaching
30:02 The Cycle For Success: Taking Action
30:11 4 Basic Skills You Need To Know
32:45 Cue Cards You Can Use For Teaching Self-Government
34:00 The Cycle For Success: Going Off Course
35:04 The Cycle For Success: Connecting By Correction
38:35 The Cycle For Success: Remembering The Feeling
39:19 The Cycle For Success: Acting Deliberately
39:53 The Cycle For Success: Positive Feedback
41:30 The Cycle For Success: Repeat
43:26 The Power Of Expectations
What To Watch Next
========================
How To Have A Successful Family Meeting
• How To Have A Successf...
Resources
========================
Get our toolkit here:
teachselfgov.com/toolkit
Learn more about us here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/about
Check out our upcoming events here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/ev...
Like us on Facebook!
/ teachingselfgovernment
Follow us on Twitter!
/ teachingselfgov
About Nicholeen Peck
========================
Despite your best efforts at raising children, is your family dysfunctional? Do your children set the rules and have control of your home instead of you? Are you looking for parenting skills that will help you create a united, happy family?
Then meet Nicholeen Peck, one of the world’s most effective parenting experts. Whether you want to fix child behavioral issues, create more unity in the home, or simply strengthen your family relationships, her proven system - Teaching Self-Government - can help you turn chaos into calm.
"People are starving for help to save their families," says Nicholeen.
Since 1999, her seminars, workshops, one-on-one training sessions, parenting videos and books have helped thousands of families worldwide regain peace, be happy and maintain unity in their home. The secret? Learning how to use effective family systems based on parenting that’s deliberate and pro-active (instead of reactive). It all starts with the principles of self-government. If you’re a family of faith, you’ll especially love how your faith and values can be woven into her parenting system.
In 2009, Nicholeen and her husband starred in the BBC reality TV show, “The World’s Strictest Parents” (watch here: bit.do/StrictestParents). She became an overnight sensation by turning around two out-of-control teenagers from England after just one week - without shouting, threats or manipulation. Her amazing success comes from the positive parenting techniques of using calmness, effective communication and principles of self-government.
Nicholeen Peck’s Accomplishments
========================
* Author of “Parenting: A House United,” “Popular Parenting Methods: Are They Really Working?,” “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” and many other books and magazine articles.
* President of The Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW).
* Nicholeen regularly speaks at the United Nations and other congresses around the world as an advocate for strengthening families and motherhood.
* In 2009 her family was featured on the BBC reality show, “The World’s Strictest Parents.
* Trained as a foster parent for Utah Youth Village.
* Has parented many troubled foster children.
* Successfully raised (and raising) four children of her own.
30 Day free trial of TubeBuddy:
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========================
Video by Nate Woodbury
BeTheHeroStudios.com
/ natewoodbury
#TeachingSelfGovernment
#Homeschool
#Family

Опубликовано:

 

31 май 2024

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Комментарии : 61   
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 года назад
How to Calm Down a Temper Tantrum - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Q7xtdQ0ikdc.html
@maryperrysmith5815
@maryperrysmith5815 2 года назад
This was amazing.
@jenniferrush8231
@jenniferrush8231 2 года назад
I just want to say thank you for making this video. I can not tell you how accurately you just described my life… I have struggled so much to put it into words and change… I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning everyday… I need this mental shift in perspective and the strategies you are teaching. I hope great change will be happening in my life and in my family’s. Thank you, seriously so much. Please keep making videos.
@mdbarnes21
@mdbarnes21 2 года назад
Parenting is hard work, but worth it! Praying for everyone working to implement self-government in their families and I appreciate prayers for ours as well!
@maryannekendall3344
@maryannekendall3344 3 месяца назад
Nicholeen, I would hug you if I were listening to this in person. All I keep saying to myself as you are speaking and articulating is "Of course! This is exactly what is happening! How did I not articulate this myself? " You clearly have done a lot of personal work and research. Thank yo so much for this!
@roxyperson8328
@roxyperson8328 2 года назад
You’re stepping on my toes but I needed it! I just realized that when I get frustrated or depressed about not meeting a goal or expectation it reveals that my motivation was pride and selfishness. Ouch.😣
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 года назад
I'm glad you were able to self-analyze and be inspired! It can be rough hearing that you need to change, but it's part of life and it's how (and why) we move forward in life. Thanks for sharing your "ah-hah!" moment with me!
@reganbarnes6424
@reganbarnes6424 3 года назад
Wow, I feel like you’ve been watching me! I absolutely go off track when my expectations don’t come about. 😬
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 3 года назад
You're not alone. This is a really common trap for people to fall into. It's so easy to set ourselves up for failure if we don't prepare properly.
@nancypanasyuk8860
@nancypanasyuk8860 2 месяца назад
All praise and glory be to God for my search question leading me to your videos and channel. Thank you for all that you’re offering. May God bless your work, your family, and your life. I’m eager to listen to more of your content🙏🏼♥️
@elunico13
@elunico13 3 года назад
@28:20 The Idealist stays focused on the vision. The "right" expectation
@maryannekendall3344
@maryannekendall3344 3 месяца назад
Why didn't I find you when I was in the thick of homeschooling and how come in 20 years of homeschooling, I've never heard of your message? Ugh! I'm homeschooling my last hild in his last year as a widow and have been doing this as a widow for 6 years. If I had seen this 6 years ago, homeschooling while grieving might have been a lot more successful.
@hollerusc
@hollerusc Год назад
Thank you for these videos. With 5 kids- 3 of them teenagers- all of a sudden parenting got real. It is so hard to relinquish control and responsibility to your teens, and the power struggle is constant (along with selfish attitudes) in our house. One bad attitude or misbehavior spreads like wildfire, especially when it comes from one of the older kids. We are trying to implement your great ideas, and so appreciate your channel.
@samanthasarah77
@samanthasarah77 3 года назад
What about single parents with 50/50 ,custody. Can you have different parenting styles and still use your techniques?
@Philippians2..10
@Philippians2..10 7 месяцев назад
Yes!!
@here5D
@here5D 10 месяцев назад
I really appreciate this knowledge, I had a lot of what you teach in my heart but didn't know how to put it into practice. So glad you're putting it out there for us 🥰🥰🥰
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 9 месяцев назад
Glad it was helpful! It seems to be that way with many parents, so I'm glad I can present a system to make it happen.
@christyloucm
@christyloucm 2 года назад
This video is amazing! I have been doing this for so long...the trap. My life is gonna be different today!! Thank you for relieving some stress and bringing some positivity in my life!! Love your videos!!
@ClaudiaHelmkeMiller
@ClaudiaHelmkeMiller Год назад
Thank you for all that you do for all of us Nicoleen! I’m so grateful for you! 🙏💕🥰
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад
You are so welcome
@stmaryarchangelmichaelthea8191
You are the best ,I don't remember I ever wrote a comment .and English is not my first language and it was really easy to listen to you and understand every single word. something enter the heart directly .something touch you so hard while you are talking. God bless you from all my heart .
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 11 месяцев назад
Thank you! You are so sweet to say such nice things. I'm glad my message has touched your heart.
@MonicaBU
@MonicaBU 4 месяца назад
This was so so so spot on for me. Thank you 🙏🏽
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 4 месяца назад
Yay! I'm so glad! You're very welcome.
@queenoftiming
@queenoftiming 5 месяцев назад
Excellent breakdown.
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 5 месяцев назад
I'm glad it was helpful!
@ashleyallen1858
@ashleyallen1858 Год назад
Sooo powerful. This is KEY! Thank you Nicoleen! 💗
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 7 месяцев назад
Agreed! You're welcome!
@jesstinasteiner5741
@jesstinasteiner5741 Год назад
Thank you Nicholeen, for bringing clarity into my life,now is up to me to change to the cycle of success! So looking forward to being a better being, as wife, mother of 5 teens n friend!
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад
I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this. You're most welcome! You're absolutely right. You've got this!
@Unicorncain1
@Unicorncain1 22 дня назад
😂 couldn't hold my breathe after smoking 😂❤🎉
@cheyennedarneal2304
@cheyennedarneal2304 Год назад
Thank you! Laugh out loud at the lawn bit!
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад
You're welcome! :)
@stuartharper5646
@stuartharper5646 3 года назад
Thank you for this. This is transforming our family.
@Nathan_Delannoy
@Nathan_Delannoy Год назад
I never comment on RU-vid videos, but this was great! Very valuable content, loved it.
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад
Glad you enjoyed it!
@SS-in1ts
@SS-in1ts 6 месяцев назад
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ you’re a life saver!!
@lindsaydain8437
@lindsaydain8437 Год назад
Have you considered creating the children’s books in softcover so they are more affordable? I am a self published author. I would love to help you.
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад
Oh yes. We're working on putting them all in one softcover book so that those outside of the US can get them for cheaper.
@shamainwebster
@shamainwebster 2 года назад
Nicholeen, you are GOOD!!
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 года назад
Thank you so much!
@karentingler4937
@karentingler4937 2 года назад
Wow, thank you! I will have my hubby watch this with me!!! Thanks
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 года назад
Yay! It's always better when both spouses are on the same page!
@constanceholden2411
@constanceholden2411 6 месяцев назад
Do you have any special advice for a single parent household - a Dad with one son ?
@preetygirlc
@preetygirlc 2 года назад
How I may receive these books?
@omvxop
@omvxop Год назад
Hello.. I have been listening to you since November last year when I lost my job. I'm a tradie now so you are in my ear for 8 hours solid.. I have bought your books all the journal and cue card poster . I was a little disappointed more dishearten that I could not print these to make life easier. Single mother of 3 I truggke to re write it out. After trying many times I gave up.. I've had these now for 6 months and cannot print.. why is this not printable since we pay for it.. I mean I could have bought 1 journal book rather than 3 and photo copy.. I was told it was so people don't copy? But its doing nothing on my computer.. I now after nearly a year have it down pat and after reading self gov book 3 times I am now about to re read it with my children.. please can you make it so we are able to print 🙏🏼 God bless
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад
I'm so sorry I'm just now seeing this! I would recommend you reach out to Richard. He's the one that helps people with struggles like yours. You can email him at support@teachingselfgovernment.com and he'll help you figure it out!
@tiatorture3221
@tiatorture3221 22 дня назад
Link to purchase the books lol
@maryperrysmith5815
@maryperrysmith5815 2 года назад
You actually made me laugh check check check
@kathleenpugh2641
@kathleenpugh2641 2 года назад
Idealistically, I've met roadblocks. What does the single, full-time working mother (that works nearly an hr away) do? I've thought that I've had a firm grasp. But, I'm now being faced with the reality of 2hrs before bed. Of course, mutual accountability comes into play. Can you provide a suitable script that I can adapt? Or an outline of the script?
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад
Sorry for the late reply. That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
@michelinapalmer6035
@michelinapalmer6035 2 года назад
Please how do I order those 4 skill set books for the children?? I don’t see a link to purchase in the description. Thank you for what you do!
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 2 года назад
Sure. Order the books at this site for the best price. teachingselfgovernment.com/store/
@robertabrown4123
@robertabrown4123 2 года назад
What if your spouse will not work with you and your whole house and life is not organized or consistent...at all! I just feel like when I'm hearing you talk, it's with a brady bunch marriage and family.
@chrisstroesser6563
@chrisstroesser6563 Год назад
How about an ex who is a malignant narcissist who routinely manipulates the children?
@pastthefog6514
@pastthefog6514 Год назад
@@chrisstroesser6563 😮 that would be very hard.
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
@Truth.419
@Truth.419 8 месяцев назад
How about the stepmom who will never be given the same respect as the stepdad
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment 8 месяцев назад
Great question! I've added it to my list of video topic ideas, so hopefully there will be some content about it in the future! You can also ask this question on my weekly Support Group live conference call, where it's recorded and answered in a group setting so others with similar concerns and questions can get answers too. I'd love to take the time there to go in depth! teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope to hear from you soon!
@benjaminpetty7696
@benjaminpetty7696 Год назад
What if you just want to be left alone. No kids. No spouse. Quiet. No dishes....nothing.
@TeachingSelfGovernment
@TeachingSelfGovernment Год назад
There's definitely a time or place for that. It's doable with a little planning ahead and communication. Even I need some alone time now and then. :)
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