What's the best thing to do in this situation? My long distance ex disappeared on me for about 30 days, then came back and said she wanted to just be friends. I agreed, and for the next few months, things weren't too bad. I always had a nagging feeling that she wasn't opening up to me the way she used to, but for the most part it almost felt like we hadn't broken up in the first place. There were even times where if she asked me a question and my response to her was too flat or I was too busy to respond to her within a day, she'd start getting anxious and asking if there was something wrong. Recently however, we've been hitting a lot of friction, she told me that I'm only a friend now, and that if I kept trying to flirt or push for a relationship; she was scared she wouldn't be able to continue talking to me. It was sort of the first time the breakup actually felt real, and so in my anxiety I argued with her a bit. It wasn't too heated, but I definitely said things I shouldn't have. Ultimately, I apologized and gave her some space, but we've started interacting again. It's hard to stick to no contact, as we're both in a private chatroom with mutual friends, and since we have the more dominant personas in the group; most topics tend to be carried by one or both of us. If I start a topic, she usually starts responding to me like there's nothing wrong. A lot of times, we end up defaulting to our usual banter/teasing which ends up taking over the chatroom, that happened again just recently.
Personal growth can be painful and confusing. Consistency is the key! Pay attention to yourself. Find a mentor and watch them. Own your own behavior and change your life for yourself. You are the only one that has to live with yourself forever.
It is scary how accurate this video is. I'm going through those stages right now and I totally feel like I was asleep and im becoming more aware of my patterns, my mistakes and traumas by the day. Margaret was a beautiful soul and thank you @CoachCraigKenneth for the amazing insights. Your workbooks are really helping me alongside the therapy I started a couple of months ago. It's a long way to go. It's a marathon not a sprint. I'm grateful ❤
It really isn’t easy to make personal changes. I’m at this point in my life where I’m not getting anything I want out of my relationship right now he’s dealing with his own things. I feel this urge to change myself and want better for myself. So I’m improving things within myself. We didn’t break up but it’s been a back and forth for just about two years and I want certain things from him. He doesn’t want to lose me but I told him he needs to work on himself. It’s hard because he’s the love of my life and I genuinely want him to be happy with or without me. But I deserve certain things, too. I hope he realizes it before it’s too late. Focus on improving yourself, guys!
I have left jobs before having another job. And each time I am fed up at a job now, I take a deep breath, look at the situation, see if there is anything I can do differently to change the situation, and if not I start looking for other jobs, and resign when I have landed a job that fits me better.
Another great video! All of your videos are great, but this is another one I need to watch over and over, because I myself usually go on autopilot and that’s why my family gets mad with me.
I love the things I’ve learned from this channel.. and yes I share points with just about everyone! I now see personal growth as a lifelong investment because I don’t want to regress. Developing these skills and striving towards secure attachment feels so great!
There definitely are no short cuts. I’m 10 months in and feel like the truth of everything is just starting to sink in….I’m “waking up” to it….I’ve exited the Matrix lol. Now I’m feeling like the healing is starting. Thank you guys. You were the ones that helped me open my eyes to the muck I was sitting in ❤️
Just quit smoking pot after a 14 year run since I was 11. It was getting in the way of my relationship and my own life. And it was a big deal, but very easy to quit for me for my personal growth. Make changes and you'll see changes.
@Coach Craig Kenneth - Hi Craig, I feel you really help equip both men and women to be the best version of themselves. However when it comes to No Contact, I feel that it’s important for both people to dig real deep and find the root cause of the breakup. I feel that some people are doing NC with wrong intentions like having too much pride or ego. They may have not ended the relationship but they gave up on the relationship internally and was putting minimal effort in the first place. I feel those prideful people should be reminded how them not acknowledging their mistakes actually puts a strain on relationships. It would be nice if you and Margaret can highlight that topic
Another one of your great many videos! I should watch it again and take notes, because I really need to work on these, especially the first one, which I tend to do all the time, especially more so now after my breakup. 3 and a half months since my breakup and I still have thoughts and dreams about my ex and the situation and what happened and what will happen if we meet up and get back together.
Amazing video! Thanks for all the information that you guys share, It really helps, since my last breakup It really hurted pretty bad yo the point Im being avoidant like I was years ago. So your channel and your books are helping me to keep improving and investing on myself 😄
I love your videos, and this video is amazing and helpful. I actually looked up for this article and continue reading it. You r absolutely right when u say that a break up motivates u more then anything to be a better version of yr self. Thank you so much for sharing this article
This is truely one of the best videos Craig and Margaret I am in intergration knowing I have anxious anxiety attachment and the penny dropped when I saw it came from my childhood. Have the information but trying to change them . It’s hard to intergrate this information because it is a habit ingrained from childhood Thank you 🙏 Craig this came at the right time Please putting out more content God bless from Australia 🇦🇺 xxo
Hi Craig and Margaret, you mentioned that you believed that this was from someone with a substance abuse background. I struggle with those issues and I wanted to ask you if you could do a video about substance abuse and loosing a partner because of it. I know that sobriety is essential and recovery a must, but do u have any other advice when it comes to mending a relationship with an ex who doesn't use ? I saw that Margaret has experience working with women in recovery. I could use all the advice I can get. Thank you both so very much for these videos, they are amazing.
day 13 no smoking cigarettes 13 days no drinking and joined a gym I'm sad it has taken me this long to realise this loosing the most beautiful and amazing women I was lucky to be with
I would say that this is the grief process. So we may have days of acceptance and some days we may go back to denial, sadness, anger or bargaining. But it is when you see yourself at acceptance more than the other steps is when you begin to notice the healing.
Hi Craig. I just booked a coaching. How does it work to set up a time and date? I can only be available on Mondays. I'm not in a rush but would like to talk sooner than later.
Coach when should we settle for friendship? And does that could be good? I was in a long distance relationship so I see unlikely this person would consider date again.
Can anyone give some advice on my situation? I'm in high school and I lost my first love about 4 months ago. I made all the classic mistakes. Clinginess, wada wada wada. I did beg and plead for 2 days after the breakup, but no more after that. The last I talked to her was about 2 months ago. We haven't spoken since. I feel like she's never gonna reach out to me ever again. (The relationship was good. We handled things maturely, her family treated me like their own. It was good. Everything was.) I pushed her away because I wasn't changing and I didn't see the problem. I see her at school, lunch, between classes, etc. She seems fine. Should I use the No Contact rule? Even if I'm in High school? Do I have a chance?
Hey Craig, I live with my ex (who broke up with me 2 months ago) he still says he loves me but he doesnt want to be with me. Our lease is up next month and then we'll part ways. Is there anything I can do to make him think about me after we split?
As long as you had some sort of attachment to him, and him to you, he can't forget you and the experience you guys shared. The main focus right now though simply has to be you! Improve yourself and your emotional state, work on yourself and I know it's a tough one, but time is the only thing that will give perspective. You cannot control what he does or feels, but you can control your own situation, so concern yourself with YOU!
I had same situation! It was hard, but I managed it. Now I have my own place and I have to say ‘ what a relief ‘ . I literally didn’t speak with my ex anymore during the time we were living together. Too many things happened. I guess you need your space to heal and as long as you’re still living together it’s impossible. Seeing him was a constant reminder of the break. Let me know how is going with you.
I noticed religious people will say to me that they don't believe anxiety is a real thing, they will want to see proof of it and then they will say how there is only the god of their chosen realism
@@Yzandros666 may you pls tell me what not to do. Im her first meaning that I took her virginity and everything. Took her to adventure where she never been there. Ugh, so hurt and dont understand because evrything was so good in a couple days and then boom! Break up tp focus on herself and her younger sister.
She broke up with me on text and blocked me on everything and told me to not talk to her at all and we are in the same class so I’m in so much pain because of her we dated for 1 year I have no idea what to do I feel suicidal
Next step is find a psychologist. Talking helps, It’s very common. Also anti depressants will help greatly at this time. Keep listening to this stuff it will really help. I’ve been there, 10 years. It was exactly as u say. Hurts. But if you can keep learning and growing it’s so much better for you. It will eventually get easier. Hang in there.
