The Heartbreak of Infertility - TTC Episode 7 

Oh Crystal, my heart is breaking for you. You are so brave and strong. I respect you so much for sharing your experience, it is a great help for many women. ❤❤❤

Regardless of the awful comments (of which I have reported because they’re atrocious), you are completely valid in your feelings and struggle. It is completely okay to not be okay. I know the struggle to even post these videos and I am thankful that you brought this to us to help us understand. That said, please consider seeking mental health care. You need to take care of your mental health all through out this struggle. I know it is hard to seek help, but I am genuinely worried about the mental space you are in. It hurts to see you like this because I have seen dear friends go to very dark places in this struggle and I don’t wish that on anyone.

My mom struggled to get pregnant for 9 years. Right when they were about to give up, my mom got pregnant with ivf. DONT lose hope, you can’t. ❤️ praying for you and your family

Wow! I’m not pregnant nor trying to conceive, I’m in my 30’s and this series has truely changed me. It’s made me more aware of childless couples and their possible struggles, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, and your series has made me want to take back passed comments I have made to couples without children eg next is babies etc You have definitely done the right thing opening up, not only to help others in your position but to make the rest aware to just shut the fuck up and not ask questions, if you want to talk you will, I want to thank you for making me aware

💜💜💜 Sometimes it's ok to just stay on the couch under a blanket cuddling your cat bawling your eyes out xxx

Does anyone else literally watch these and cry with Crystal my poor darling my heart is throbbing for you 😘 😭 Wish I could just magically make it all better :(

I’ve been trying for 8 months with no luck and I appreciate you sharing this so, so much. 💜 I’ve learned so much from your story and I just want to give you a big hug.

My heart breaks watching these raw moments. Sending you so much love and hugs xx

You are not being judged, you’re incredible Crystal and you are helping so many people through these videos, what you’re doing is really fucking important. Sending love 💖

As someone that has watched your channel(s) for forever, I have to beg of you .... please please please do not ever call yourself stupid again! You are smart and beautiful and sweet and genuine and honest and such an inspiration to so many in so many different ways!!! Sending you the biggest of hugs and so so much love from the other side of the world!!! You and Dean are in my prayers!!!

Everything you said is exactly how I feel every month! You are not alone. And man was it nice to see you be so raw and open instead of putting on a brave face for a RU-vid video. I have days where I just cry and cry. I literally feel like a crazy person. I have stopped testing and some months it helps and other months it doesn’t. I am so sorry for you because I know exactly how this feels and it is miserable. Praying for you !

Crystal I just want to reach through the screen and give you the biggest hug. I have watched these vlogs but haven't commented before, but this one in particular just broke my heart. It's just so sad to see the struggle you go through each month, and the heartbreak it brings you. I am sending all my positive thoughts and prayers your way, and cannot wait for the day that you upload your pregnancy announcement video xx

Crystal, I don't have the words to be able to help but you are not alone in your feelings. I cried along with you during this video. I have PCOS and endometriosis and have been TTC for 8 months with my husband. It is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. Going through letrozole and spending two weeks waiting every month is the most gut wrenching pain I have ever experienced. I am completely broken and depressed and I understand completely how you feel. The pain of infertility is uncomparable. I hope that one day you have good news. Thank you so much for posting these videos! ❤

Embrace every option that is available to help you during your ttc journey. Go to the psychologist & do what the dr recommends. Wonderful that you are sharing your story. Wishing you all the best x

I hope you get a billion views for this video. As someone who doesn't have and never tried for children (I know I don't want kids in the same way that you know you do), I have been watching this series mainly because I am subscribed and to perhaps learn something new that would make me a better friend. Over the years I have seriously tried to grasp that deep want for children and the journey that goes with it, but I don't feel like I have ever really gotten there. Today watching this, with you, soul beared and still being able to make eye contact with the camera, is the closest I think I will ever get to achieving that understanding. Thank you.

Thank you so much for this! You’re allowed to be sad, you’re allowed to feel whatever comes up. You are so brave for putting your heart out there and sharing your experience for others to see, and I really think we need this in this space. I hope your videos reach all the women who need to see them!

I have a friend going through this and I didn’t know what she is going through. Your video has been so informative . Thank you so much for being so transparent - I can see it on your face the pain and hope and waves of grief. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

O you sweet sweet girl. I promise you that your baby is watching over you and waiting for the right time for God to deliver them into your life. I know it sounds crazy and not helpful. I have been exactly where you are, I know that heartbreak and pain. The false hope , the hundreds of pregnancy tests hoping to see a faint line. I know you are hurting and I can tell you that even though you feel like it will not happen, IT WILL. you are already more of a mommy than so many who have children they dont care about. You already have so much love for your yet to conceive child, you are a mom. You and Dean are going to freaking be amazing parents. Take it from me, it took 2 years 4 pregnancies 2 preterm labors and a a whole lot of tears to get my miracle son who just turned 5. I have watched you since day one and I promise you have helped me get through some rough shit. I hope my words bring some hope. I promise just dont give up. Lots of love and baby wishes going your way! Xoxo

I hope that one day when your little blessing is grown, they can watch these videos to know how wanted they were and how much you love them and how hard you fought for them xox I look forward to these videos every week and I find strength in you sharing your journey and your struggles with us. We’ve never met and I don’t think we ever will but I feel like we’re friends and I appreciate that. Thankyou for having the strength to share with us and letting us cry with you 😘

I’m so sorry you’re going through this crystal. Sending you lots and lots and lots of love and positivity 💜💜💜

Crystal you're so brave inviting us into your deepest darkest thoughts at that time. I'll be honest this episode was a really hard one to watch because you were struggling in pain so bad. As a viewer who's watched you for many years & known you as a bubbly, happy, positive makeup guru seeing you like this I just felt so completely helpless and wanted to comfort you. Thank you so much for your honesty & sharing your journey. As a 37yr old FTM whilst I had no problem conceiving this TTC series has personally given me so much insight about what NOT to say to people regarding having children & also being grateful that I even can conceive. I've also been that clueless person (Pre-baby) at a party or at work who asked dumb questions regarding having no children completely unaware. Whilst the asking comes from a good place I just never realised how harmful such a simple question could be. I never knew it could potentially unravel someone emotionally and ruin their day. Take care & Big hugs to you and Dean. I'll be watching the next one for sure in hope of seeing those 2 big fat positive lines ❤️❤️❤️Xxx

Every second of this clip my heart was breaking for you. I have PCOS and we went through infertility for 6 years. Cry when you need to, be angry, feel like you can't go on, but NEVER EVER give up. Fight for what you want. I now have 3 gorgeous babes (4.5, 2.5 and 7 months) and look back on these days and I'm so proud of myself for fighting for what I wanted. One day you'll be the one looking back feeling the same. You WELL be a Mum, I promise you❤

My heart breaks for you seeing you so distraught. I know your pain. Sending love and light xx

My heart is absolutely breaking for you. Also, please don’t apologise for “looking ugly”, in my opinion you’re the most beautiful in those moments because you’re being so open and vulnerable and sharing so much with us. I’m sending so much baby dust your way. I hope it happens for you soon. 💓

Girl I'm absolutely loving this series, this has helped me so much knowing that there are other people out there going through this and feeling the way I'm feeling. My Husband and I have been trying for 3 years now. I have endometriosis and a very low egg count because of it, I'm starting IVF next Wednesday and I'm excited but I'm also not getting my hopes up. Just wanted to let you know that your not alone in this journey, we are all here to support you xxx love you!!!

My heart is breaking for you. My bestfriend was trying for 5 years to have a baby and she had her tubes cleaned and fell pregnant the next month after her operation.

I was literally thinking before I started this vid that I should stop being so angry about not getting pregnant quickly. There are so many positive things that have happened and continue to happen in my life. Then you mentioned the EXACT same thing in this video, and it was soooo validating. Thank you for sharing this! 😔

I have no advice or magical words of wisdom but watching your videos this is me 4 years ago i could relate to every entry , I hope you know how brave and strong you are even when you don’t feel it you are helping woman you are empowering them to show them the struggles of fertility issues in all it’s rawness and I so hope you get your miracle baby xx

Hi sweetie, This is not baby related but stay with me x My husband left me 2.5 years ago with a 4 year old and 9 month old baby. It was the shock of my life. I was that woman who was 30, with a sheltered life, lots of wins, including my ability to conceive. And then... crash. The biggest loss. I became that friend that cried, only talked about the marriage breakdown, still to this day (despite being so glad it did work out this way in hindsight) I beat myself up over fact I’ve gone from the positive “therapist” in my group to the almost negative friend that constantly brings it up in conversation. Then I got to the point when I decided, I’m sorry, this is shit, I get to be sad about it. I get the floor this time. It doesn’t mean people don’t have it worse off, but it also doesn’t make my problems any less. I completely understand being negative doesn’t help, but admitting and speaking out just how awful it feels is part of our life journey. This may be the worse thing that ever happens to me, it may not be! It doesn’t change how you feel. I am seeing a psych and I highly recommend it (plus nice chance for an uninterrupted cuppa and maybe a little choc if you’re lucky xxx) take care beautiful lady 💜

I wish i could give you a hug. You are a strong and beautifull woman too eventhough at times it might not feel like it. The fact that you share your story and your hurt is the strongest❤️. But its okey to not be strong all the time as well, it is a difficult path you are on.

My hearts hurts for you. We can all see how hard this is whether we are going through the same thing or not. But we are all sending you our thoughts and positive feelings. ❤❤

Your courage to share this is just incredible. I think it is not only important for people like yourself who are in the same journey as you - but also for people like me who has been very lucky to have children of my own to remember just how hard people work for the things we have & would definitely take for granted at times. I wish so much for this to happen for you & will continue to follow your journey with nothing but hope for you x

You should be so proud of yourself. You are helping so many by sharing your journey. My heart breaks for you.....I hope so much that you get your happy ending.

The sad thing about TTC is that there is no escape from how we feel. My sister accused me of being jealous but it truly was the reminder that we couldn't have children and the pain that goes with it is incredible.

I just wanted to say this is my first video of yours that I've watched, but the whole I was thinking 'Wow, I know exactly how you feel'. My husband and I have been trying also for about a year and it's so so tough. I've had almost every thought you've said in this video. And it feels very lonely sometimes. Thank you for taking us on this very personal journey, it's really helping so many. Wishing you all the best of luck.

I can’t thank you enough with this series and how much this has helps I’m 19 years old and have been told chances I’ll conceive naturally are very slim, I’ve messaged you on insta more information as I’m not ready to share to thousands of people my story and I’m so proud of you for helping others I know this has helped me in a lot of ways!! Thank you xxx

It hurts me watching this but hun, I’m right there with you! 💕💕 I had another laparoscopy and HCG test last Wednesday. Also in Australia, SA! They had to take out some Endo and flushed my tube ( that’s the HCG test ) to find that my right side was completely blocked. I remember you in your previous episodes being anxious about the tests but you will know what’s happening and everything will make sense. And if it doesn’t show anything, then you can find other options. We’ve been trying for over that 2 year mark, we’ve gone through failed fertility treatments. Natural cycles and IUI ( No more IUI, my FS is saying it’s a complete waste now ) We’ve had miscarriages and it really hurts. But I’m right here with you, when you feel alone, know someone can understand that hurt in a similar way. Feel free to message me about the tests, little tips and tricks etc xxx

I love you Crystal! This journey that you are on is such a raw and true journey that many women face so often. When I saw your videos I started religiously watching them, my best friend is going through the same thing currently and your videos have given me such an insight into the daily thoughts, emotions and struggles. Thank you for making these, thank you for putting something so raw out into the world. It’s something that my best friend takes some comfort in knowing she’s not the only one.

Sending you big hugs and praying you get pregnant really soon. My heart is breaking for you and you are completely valid having those feelings. I’m loving watching you on your journey every week 💕💕 xx

Thank you so much for sharing your journey Crystal. It’s comforting to know we are not alone xxxxx

Crystal this vlog was so raw and heartbreaking 😭 I cried with you! Sending prayers and positive thoughts/vibes your way 💕🇬🇧

All I do is cry watching every ep of this series, my heart breaks for you with every disappointment. You're such an incredible, strong human being for posting such a raw part of yourself online for others to view and comment on. I personally think you're such a beautiful soul and wish you all the happiness in the world ♥️ thanks for being so brave xx

Crystal, thank you so much for sharing your experience. Every single thing you’ve mentioned is something I’ve struggled with myself, but I struggle alone. Never mention it to anyone. My best friend just gave birth to her second child yesterday, and today I found out someone else I know is expecting. It’s hard. And I’m glad there’s someone I can relate to. ❤️

YOU ARE one of those strong, beautiful women talking about their journey. Crying doesn’t make you weak - it makes you real. And with other people’s baby announcements, I can only imagine the heartbreak. But they could’ve been in the same boat as you and tried for ages, even though it may have seemed instantaneous for them & didn’t have the same strength as you to openly discuss the difficulties. I hope that doesn’t come off as harsh & you know what I mean. I only have love and support for you (and Dean!) x

There is no weakness in showing your vulnerability. Your journey to publishing these videos shows your strength, even if you cant feel it, its there. Sending big love, you are truly inspirational Crystal, sending lots of love from the UK ❤❤❤

⭐️ Crystal!! ⭐️ I can’t put in to words how much I can relate, I actually cannot explain how heartbroken I am. I know I need to be proactive and get out of this slump I’m in but it’s so hard. This series has made me feel like I’m not crazy. You are amazing, and brave and strong and I’m so grateful. 💕💕

Crystal I relate to you so much! Unfortunately I had a missed miscarriage two weeks ago which has been horrendous. It’s really helped me to be open about it and share it with friends, family and colleagues. Please don’t think that people will judge you. Just because we’ve had different journeys we ultimately want the same thing:)xxx

I’m so sorry for your struggles. I struggled for 4 years to get pregnant with my first child. It’s very hard and your feelings are valid. It’s very good to cry and get all the built up stress and tension out. It’s also great you are sharing your journey so others don’t feel alone either.

Crystal, my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel! I have been there and I am still TTC 10 years later. Take it from someone who is in your shoes. After everything I have been through with TTC, my biggest regret is wasting time and money on IUI's. If I could do it all over again, I would have went straight into IVF. I'll be praying for you and if I could, I would come through this screen and give you a great BIG hug!! I know your pain! (hugs)

Oh sweetheart, my heart aches for you. Please know that we are all in your corner, you have lots of love , prayers and support from your community here. Xx

Hey Crystal, First of all I want to say how brave you are for making this series. I take my hat off to you as I cant express myself this way. Talking about infertility is so bloody hard, especially with people who wont ever actually understand because it comes so easy to most woman and people don't know how to treat our journey. I sit and watch each TTC ep and I cry with you and my heart breaks for you. I want you to know your not alone, i've been struggling now for 5 years, my specialist found that I have blocked tubes I've just had a Polyp removed from my cervix I was also diagnosed with a rare syndrome called mosaic Turner syndrome which effects my fertility, blood pressure, weight, heart and a few other things and my only chance is if we do IVF. After my follow up appointment this month he has said to come back in may and we shall start my hormone injections, I am so afraid because after a long hard 5 years I feel like it will all start again once I try the ivf. Its become to hard to be positive when all I ever see is negative. Most days my smile is hiding the pain I feel on the inside. I truly wish you all the best with falling pregnant naturally. If you ever need to chat I am always here. you can find me on Facebook under Mezza Vtop my inbox is always open.

I watched this episode thinking Oh my lord how did she go through this all on her own, how strong can one woman be. No wonder your so emotional you had no release. And then I was thinking about my own TTC journey and I was like oh that's right that was me too. We all go through this alone. Everyone wants to know your TTC but only are happy to talk about it when there's good news no one talk about the journey share the highs and lows. I am so happy you started this conversation now and not just when you had a positive result. Having said that I hope your positive comes soon can't wait to see your journey to motherhood.

Going back to these knowing you have Daisy makes it so special Best wishes for your little family

Don’t give up hope ! How ever you become a mum .. naturally, ivf, surrogacy or adoption 🙌🏾 you will be a mother of many . Stay encouraged 💕

Dear sweet Crystal, You are so incredibly brave for putting this out there, I wish I could hug you and say it will all work out. It’s going to happen for you I know it. We all have a journey, this is yours, to help more women who are exactly where you are, to share and give others hope, trust and to know they are not alone. Don’t give up, have your down days, but not too many. Get up, play some upbeat music, dance, put on some make up, go shopping, get amongst nature, and be thankful. It will happen.

Crystal you are not stupid! It’s normal to think you are pregnant. I have been there for 5 years and my miracle came along without any help. We are now trying and have been for 3 years for our second. I have stopped trying if that makes sense and over analysing things. Your miracle will come! I’m praying for you and Dean!

Sending love from Canada, you will get your miracle baby soon I am praying for you. ❤️

I am so proud of you putting these videos up and out there. My heart breaks with you and can totally relate. I’m a 38 year of woman who has been married for 12 years and didn’t start actively trying until the last few months because I just thought it would happen. I have a total fear of the doctor so have been too scared to go and now I’m worried I have left it too late as I’m close to 40. I am sending every positive vibe your way. We got this lovely 🤜🏻

Sending you so much love. My heart breaks with you. We were trying for over a year and I know how painful and heart breaking it is. You literally feel like your heart is breaking and to watch everyone else fall pregnant it’s just traumatizing. I feel your pain and pray that you will have your miracle. We finally got pregnant after 13 months and now have our precious baby. It feels so surreal because we never thought we would see this day. I know that everyone says “it will happen” and I know how much that doesn’t help so I’m not going to say that but I do pray that it will happen for you and soon. Xx

These videos are heartbreaking. So many emotions come rushing to the surface. Please see someone. I never did and never even thought about but I know now how helpful it would have been for me. It is the most isolating, confusing, stressful and sad time of your life.

You are so brave and should be so incredibly proud of yourself for sharing your journey. It will help many people struggling to conceive. Ignore the ignorant comments. Those people have less than no idea what you are going through. It hurts like hell and takes over your life. I’ve lived through it and was blessed with a baby. I have all the faith in the world that you will too. Stay strong. Sending hugs xxxx

❤️❤️❤️ My heart is absolutely breaking for you and Dean. Thank you so much for sharing your journey, so raw, honest and emotional. Sending love and positivity your way 💕

Thankyou so much for sharing this journey with us. Thankyou for putting yourself out that and being vulnerable. Thank you thank you thank you. You’ll never know how much this series has helped me and so many others out there 💕

don't give up hope, you are so strong!! ❤❤

My heart breaks for you Crystal 💔 I am so sorry you are struggling 😢 it took my husband and I well over 3 years to conceive our daughter. Its ok to not be ok. I cried a lot during our ttc journey. Its not fair and so hard emotionally. Wishing you all the very best xoxox

Thanks for sharing such raw footagep. Don’t give up on your TTC journey, stay strong ❤️❤️❤️

My heart breaks for you...praying for you and your journey ❤️

I share every sentiment with you. Every single one. I’ve had days like every day that you’ve posted and I promise you one day soon it will happen for you. We can do this. Our blessing is on the way! ❤️

Crystal, What a brave and inspiring soul you are. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for using your platform to raise awareness and educate the world on such an emotional topic that is so real for too many women. Stay strong. Sending all my love and light to you and Dean.

I really hope you guys try IVF, my mum had me with IVF and she said it was the best investment she ever made in her life :) it's ok to not conceive naturally, we are so lucky and blessed to live in a world where health treatments like this is available. It's worth giving it a go for you and Dean xx

Oh Honey!!! My tears are flowing and my hear is shattered for you!!!!!! Your an amazing woman your so strong!!! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for giving us all the PRIVILEGE to walk with you through this journey with you and hubby! I personally myself have not had to face the struggles and issues with fertility. I have suffered from 3 miscarriages (1 at 20 weeks). BUT i have never even had to think about “what if i cant fall pregnant”... i feel for you every time i watch your Episodes.... i cry with you EVERY SINGLE episode. I get excited with you every single episode.... I just feel that i want your to be pregnant as much as you do!!!! God i wish i could help!!! I know that what i say wont change anything but know that every single one of us here are supporting you and that we are all in YOUR corner! When your down and you want to hide jump on and see the love we all have for you Crystal... Your amazing!!!! Your beautiful and you will be one heck of a mother....... (i know i shouldnt say that but i just have to!!)... We love you!!!!!

Every time I watch these videos I just want to hug you! I don’t know what’s drawn me to watch these every week but I have a good friend who really struggles to conceive & never talks about how she is feeling so you’ve really opened my eyes to what she might be going through and silly me I’ve said some stupid, stupid things that I didn’t realise were wrong to say or could have made her feel worse. So thank you for speaking out and sharing your experience because even though I’m not going through this myself, it still really helped me to be that little bit more understanding and gentle with my friends/family that are going through this 💖 sending all my love to you through this difficult time xx

You are one incredible women.... this is a total eye opener for me you are so brave and amazing for shearing your experience. 😘😘

Crystal seeing you like this just makes me want to give you a hug and just listen to you! Just be there with you and help in anyway i could! Thank you for showing this still, it is very brave of you ❤

Hi Crystal. I know how hard this journey is! I know exactly how you feel about being anti social and having negative thoughts all the time. I’m in the exact same position right now and I know the negative mind can be a another obstacle. I just found a podcast called “get and health and get pregnant “ the host (Adrienne Wei) has been through it and is an acupuncturist and Chinese medicine. They have a FB page that is invite only and it’s all women who are in the same position. I have a really negative mind set right now and listening to her has made me re think. Because she says a negative mind can cause your body to listen and won’t do the job. A friend of mine was told she couldn’t have children then she did acupuncture and other Chinese medicine things and he body has started wooing the right things. I’m starting my second round of IUI soon and my first round of acupuncture on Friday. I’m really hoping these will definitely help me. You should definitely listen to the podcast and join the FB page. All the best with everything. I know you will get there! Hope we all do! 😊

Aww, seeing you so upset, I just want to give you a big hug. Sending lots of love and luck for the future xx

One of the women I used to work with was told she would never have children. She was 33 at the time. She went home and got pregnant that night. Hasn’t happened to her since, maybe that was her only chance, maybe it wasn’t, who knows. Just know what what ever happens we are all here for you 10000000000% and you can absolutely snuggle on the couch with coco and a blanket and cry. We all love you. 💕

I hope you have the laparoscopy. I had one to determine how bad my endo was but it will allow your specialist to see if you have any internal issues. I struggled with getting pregnant aswell but in the end got pregnant with twins at age 39. I had a procedure by my gyno where they flush your tubes out with saline. I then got pregnant naturally nearly straight away. I 100% believe if I had not had the procedure I would have no children. Something to look into in the future maybe. Best wishes to you, hang in there luv xx

IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK.... I think you will help so many to know its ok to not be ok in life at times that there is others out there dealing with some of the same things, but its good to get help like u are and looking into all u can to help and thats ok too. I am sending out a huge hug to you from me

Sister i just want to give you a big massive hug right now I’m so emotional litterley i have been struggling myself 5 years of infertility hopefully if you have full faith in god it will happen one day we also experienced happiness ill pray for you and i hope you stay strong .

You are so brave to share your journey. ❤️ I don’t wish this on anyone ... my heart is breaking when I look at this serie of yours but I can’t stop watching because it’s so important. You’re doing something amazing by sharing your journey, so many women are struggling with this everyday and can’t talk about it for different reasons. You are inspiring. 🌟 Just thank you ... and please universe, bless this couple with a healthy baby ❤️

All of the love and hugs to you! You are so brave for putting this out there. So many people will be very thankful for having something so relatable! xxx

I feel so strongly watching these vlogs. I'm not currently TTC but I suffer from anxiety and am awaiting my first endometriosis surgery because of chronic pain. I worry so much that I won't be able to have kids and it hurts me so much to see the pain you're going through xxx Sending you strength

Crystal I went through the TTC journey many years ago. I did have endometriosis and PCOS but my specialist was adamant that I would be wasting months on fertility drugs if I didn’t know if my tubes were functioning properly first. They were and I eventually did get pregnant. I went on to have two miscarriages and two babies. It then took me two years to get my third child through IUI as I then had hostile mucous. Have you been checked for that? It is so brave of you to share your heartbreaking story and I wish you and Dean all the luck in the world.

I just want to give you the biggest hug. My heart breaks for you every episode. Once again thank you for sharing thank you for educating. ❤❤ sending positive vibes to you.

When you are trying to conceive, it is all that consumes you regardless of people saying you shouldn't let it. Do the best you can and I believe that when the time is right it would happen. I won't tell you to relax because it's almost impossible to do. But I do advise you maybe get some sort of support to help you during this difficult time. It is very difficult to understand such pain unless it's happening to you. You need to believe you are strong and the Lord will uphold you. We all go through struggles and remember that this is your test in life. When you eventually get your baby your joy will be filled. My prayers and best wishes are with you always. Stay blessed.

We have been trying since November. Last month I don't think I ovulated. I am going for an ultrasound on Thursday to check things out, pcos etc. I just want to know if I have problems and what to expect. Everyone knows we are trying and I have one friend who constantly tags me in baby things on Instagram, knowing full well I'm not pregnant. Fuck it's hurtful. I'm not someone to hold my tongue, I am not looking forward to our next conversation. My heart is breaking watching this Crystal, but thank you, again. You feeling all of these emotions and making them so public is helping all of us watching who are struggling as well to not feel like you have had to. I feel like I have you. I'm so grateful for that.

Please don't ever feel stupid. It's a very emotional thing you are going through. I'm so sorry for your heartache and you don't look ugly. I know you feel like grieving but look into meditation to see if that helps with your grief. It might help clear your mind and find an even ground for you to handle this a little better on the bad days.

stay strong dear 🙏🏾 i can totally relate to this. feeling like a failure but stay strong thats all i can tell you. ❤️

Awwww Crystal.. my heart breaks for you! I’ve not been on RU-vid for a couple of years and it’s so hard jumping on and watching you and Dean struggle. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that you’ll be able to have your own wee baby one day! I have endo and haven’t tried to get pregnant but I can only imagine the pain you’re feeling. Sending my love and thoughts your way xxx Lesh

Crystal I’ve been watching this series and I just don’t know what to say. So many times I want to say something but I don’t. My heart breaks for you. I just want to hug you. Thank you so much for sharing your experience it’s so raw and emotional. You are such a beautiful person. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

I went three years no protection never got pregnant once. Then on my fourth year of trying i got pregnant and now I have three. You are not alone. I know it feels that way when your just thinking about your journey and your struggle but just remember that you are absolutely not alone!

I feel so sad for you and I send much love to you. I can’t wait for the video that tells us your pregnant Crystal xox 💕

My heart breaks every time I watch these episodes♡ I really hope you are/get pregnant soon♡

You don’t understand how much this series is helping me, I feel your pain so much it is absolutely heartbreaking xxx

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I’ve been trying for 8 years and pregnancy has never happened for me 😢 I totally understand your journey and have felt all the things you have felt and still do. However I adopted a little baby boy 3 years ago after failed IVF. AND I couldn’t be happier... he is the light of my life and I see now this was meant to be and was the journey we were meant to take ❤️ I honestly do still feel the heartache with it all but my boy makes things so much easier. You will find your happy ending my darling xxx 💕

Crystal, if you haven't had a lap by now. Please go get one done. While it scary to get one, it will give you answer.

Crystal, stay strong. I am going through the same thing me and my partner have been trying for over 3 years now all tests normal and still no baby 😢. You are not alone! And you're so brave X 😘

This video completely breaks my heart. I have never gone through this in my own life but I definitely feel your pain and hurt. I wish this never happened to no girl/woman and I would definitely never wish it upon you as I've watched your journey from the beginning and I always have my hopes up that by the end of every video your pregnant. I am sorry this is happening to you Crystal. I could not imagine what you're going through but I wish you all the best and positive outcomes.

Crystal there are people who know what your going through. Me and my husband have tried for now 10 years for a baby and in the last 2 years we have done 4 rounds of ivf and still no. Pregnancy. It is the hardest to see other people pregnant and happy but thinking it will never happen to you breaks your heart. If you need anyone to talk to me there are support groups around and I'm here for support.