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The Invisibility Trifecta: Why Midlife Women of Color Matter | Valerie Albarda | TEDxCharlotte 

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Description: It’s difficult being an invisible midlife woman; add a woman of color to the mix and the stakes are raised considerably. Historically, women of color - and more precisely, black women - have been low on society’s totem pole and it’s time for that to change. I’m tackling the unconscious bias as it pertains to not just midlife women, but more specifically for black women and other women of color.
What do you want people to learn from your talk? I want to advance the notion that midlife women of color aren’t invisible unless we choose to be, and that we’re no less viable because of our age. I want people to learn about the double jeopardy hypothesis in action and how attitudes about midlife women in general and midlife women of color specifically can change beginning with the mindset of those on the outside looking in.
What action items do you want people to take away from your talk? I want people to be more aware of black and other midlife women of color in society; to make room for us at the table; to show us respect; to acknowledge the value of our life experience. Valerie Albarda was a shy, insecure child who used humor as her superpower. Now, as a fully-grown midlife woman, she lives out loud, still struggles from time to time with residual crumbs of insecurity, and has added moxie, intellect, and charm to her list of superpowers.
By day, she’s a senior content writer at a large national home improvement retailer. However, where she really shines is when she steps out of her work shoes and into her role as a writer, author, and creator of Midlife-A-Go-Go - the website and the podcast - which focuses on topics related to midlife women including menopause, thriving in midlife, finding our voices and more.
As a midlife woman and a former Women’s Empowerment and Transformation Coach, Valerie is on a mission to educate and inspire midlife women as they transition through life’s ‘second spring’ with confidence. She’s a firm believer that women can enjoy the midlife and skip the crisis.
One of Valerie’s true passions in life is traveling. She’s crossed the globe and made pit stops in such places as Hawaii, Dubai, the Seychelles, Switzerland, Paris, Budapest, Italy, Greece and points in between. And she’s not done yet. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

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16 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 71   
@undeadmerlinisalivenow
@undeadmerlinisalivenow 2 года назад
‘Old is a relative term’. We all need to remember this and own our own journey for what it is.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Exactly. I'm called "old" by a 20 year old, but to an 85 year old, I'm a young lady.
@brianhines1452
@brianhines1452 3 года назад
Man, this woman just turned 57?! She is beautiful and lovely! Go ahead and be proud! Society is obsessed with youth, but the truth is everybody is getting older as time passes. I'm a 42 year old man and proud of it.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Brian. Just hit the 58 mark and still going strong, despite my recent MS diagnosis. And yes, be proud of your 42!
@phillipnorris3rd
@phillipnorris3rd 2 года назад
very beautiful, I think she looks in her early 40's at most!
@rosecaspern
@rosecaspern 2 года назад
Okay but I love that she's calling it 'midlife' instead of 'middle-aged' it's that kind of nuance in language that tells me this lady is a master at her craft and well worth listening to!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Thank you, Rose. The phrase "middle-aged' makes me cringe. To me, it sounds a bit antiquated and kind of makes my mind switch to the medieval times! Thanks for taking the time to listen to my Talk and comment.
@seventhcompactor1505
@seventhcompactor1505 Год назад
Middle aged makes a woman’s body sound like cheese
@nathanclendle
@nathanclendle 2 года назад
Interesting that the impact of men’s attention is what alerts us to the fact we are aging. It says so much about the state of society
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Yes, that's true Nathan. That's true for some women. However, as I noted, it's not always about the male gaze. So many believe a woman feels invisible simply because a man isn't paying attention to her in a 'wanting' way, but that's not always the case. Marketers and advertisers, being in a retail environment, existing in general - these are all the invisible 'hot zones' for midlife women of color. Thanks for joining the conversation Nathan!
@samacigrist
@samacigrist 2 года назад
What is funnier is that she would probably spent more money than those young girls- and the chance he got anywhere with them is pretty low. Hope he wasn’t working on commission
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Thank you for the giggle - "Hope he wasn't working on commission." People miss out when they go for the "other" option out there.
@CathyChester
@CathyChester 3 года назад
Excellent, Valerie. Spot-on. I can't leave enough superlatives to describe what a great job you did and your content? All I can say is THANK YOU!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thanks for watching, Cathy. It's much appreciated.
@bencycaitlin
@bencycaitlin 2 года назад
There is deep thinking behind this. Wow. Thank you for putting this out there.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
You are so welcome, Bency. It's a topic that's been on my mind for years and I hope that as the message spreads, people become more aware of what The Invisibility Trifecta is and how it affect us.
@chrisplusmelissa
@chrisplusmelissa 3 года назад
What a fabulous speech! I wonder if there's a way to tally up all of what society has missed out on by not seeing and hearing middle aged women of color. I bet it's a profound amount.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you Melissa and Chris! Yeah, I'm guessing the amount would be phenomenal.
@publictvfan9913
@publictvfan9913 2 года назад
I ~wish~ I had a midlife woman to listen to when I was younger. There is so much knowledge there about being strong and confident that took me way to long to find on my own
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
There's a well of knowledge there, but you know what? When we were younger, we likely wouldn't have listened. Imagine that. When we're young, we *know it all* and it makes it more difficult for us to absorb the truth when it comes from someone who has been through it, who has lived it, who is passing on the knowledge. But eventually we find our way, don't we? But as you mentioned, sometimes it takes us way too long. Blessings to you, and thank you for watching and hearing the message.
@lauriestone5966
@lauriestone5966 3 года назад
So true, Valerie. You look beautiful up there!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you Laurie!
@erikdangor
@erikdangor 2 года назад
Midlife women have so much experience and wisdom to draw on, I honestly just feel sorry for anyone who can't recognise the value in that.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
I agree, Erik. Instead of ignoring us, draw on our wisdom. We have so much life experience that could be teachable moments for others.
@helenimnotready
@helenimnotready 2 года назад
I think one of the reasons for this is also because, apart from our mothers, most of the midlife women we encounter in our formative years are authority figures, and I think that kind of carries over and prevents us from interacting with them as just people.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
That's a very interesting point, and one that I hadn't considered. When the youth suddenly gain their "freedom" from figures of authority (parents, teachers, etc.), there's an independent streak within them that they need to explore. Perhaps, as the real maturity process begins, there's still some latent feelings of "I'm not gonna listen to that 'old' woman," within and so seeking counsel is off the table. Thank you so much for offering a view through another lens on the subject.
@malyka4215
@malyka4215 2 года назад
I agree and the time is now, well spoken Val!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Thank you, Malyka. And you are correct, because if not now, when?
@carlacarlisle1946
@carlacarlisle1946 3 года назад
Thank you for enlightening the masses! Invisible no more!!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you Carla.
@ligeiapolidora9951
@ligeiapolidora9951 3 года назад
Lovely Valerie, thank you for raising my awareness.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Ligeia thank you for watching. I'm glad I was able to help raise your awareness.
@janetpannel
@janetpannel 2 года назад
Some of the most poignant experiences I've had in my workplace were with 'midlife' women who could just tell that I was in need of a smile, cuddle or heart to heart.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
There's a lot of wisdom wrapped up in those intuitive actions, Janet. I'm glad you welcomed and appreciated them.
@BigG_74
@BigG_74 3 года назад
You look 35! Great talk! Congrats
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
:-) Thanks Geert!
@phillipnorris3rd
@phillipnorris3rd 2 года назад
agree!
@denvernuggetslove1939
@denvernuggetslove1939 3 года назад
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Absolutely awesomeeeee my friend!!!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you so much, Jacquie! Glad you could listen!
@bilbobiggens2104
@bilbobiggens2104 2 года назад
It's really unsettling that you could be doing stuff like this without even noticing.
@BoldBlindBeauty
@BoldBlindBeauty 3 года назад
Well done Valerie! Brava!!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you so much, Stephenae.
@archiegoodale
@archiegoodale 2 года назад
I've already had male co-workers completely ignore me while having a conversation and honestly I had no idea how to respond. I hate to think that that's just going to keep happening to me the older I get.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Sad but true, older men get erased, too, Archie. Bottom line: being ignored sucks.
@trainapr
@trainapr 3 года назад
Gorgeous, and you rock that outfit. I can't imagine being able to ignore you!
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 3 года назад
Thank you Cynthia!
@ekimoduarte
@ekimoduarte 2 года назад
This makes me upset because I believe every demographic has something of value to contribute, and by discounting those perspectives we're really just limiting our understanding of the world.
@ameyhousten
@ameyhousten 2 года назад
Maybe the value of these women is going unnoticed because there's not much opportunity for relationships to be created.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Many times the old adage "birds of a feather flock together" is true. Like people want to be surrounded by like people. But when we open up our sphere of acquaintances, we see things from a new perspective.
@704Woman
@704Woman Месяц назад
Imagine how that translates into career and promotional opportunities for this trifecta group.
@jeanetteward
@jeanetteward 2 года назад
As a woman who has come into midlife, I am noticing more and more how ‘irrelevant’ I am becoming compared to younger women. Online, in real life- my sense of worth is diminishing and it is a reminder that I need to find my worth outside of others gaze. However, I am a white woman. I had not considered how much more this would impact women of colour. Thank you for sharing and opening my eyes to this.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Jeanette, I'm glad that the Talk has provided some insight and given you something to think about. And it's true, all that you're experiencing...women of color are getting it twofold. Thanks for taking notice, and thank you for taking the time to respond.
@seventhcompactor1505
@seventhcompactor1505 Год назад
Don’t buy into this ‘woman of color’ nonsense Try and actually think
@seventhcompactor1505
@seventhcompactor1505 Год назад
@@ValerieAlbarda Only certain women of color…only certain
@colbyjames4843
@colbyjames4843 2 года назад
Age and wisdom are no longer respected for what they are. When did youth become more valuable than experience?
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
We're a youth-obsessed society. A lot of it is media-driven, which then trickles down to us believing that we're no longer relevant. But when you think about it, when we were young, we wanted to find our own way in life, blaze a path that we could call our own. We didn't want to listen to the voices of reason, the ones who've been there and done that. That was experience trying to talk to us. Life is a bit of a double-edged sword. But again, those with age and wisdom have reached that status and have a wealth of knowledge to share. And yes, we're still relevant. Thanks for adding to the conversation, Colby.
@czarcasm2168
@czarcasm2168 2 года назад
Agreed!
@PJ-fl3do
@PJ-fl3do 2 года назад
You look awesome 😊
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Thank you Pamela!
@declanmackenzie0001
@declanmackenzie0001 2 года назад
Just another by-product of how messed up our society is.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
And it's worse for the elderly, at least in America. We (society) don't value our elders. If you're older than 50, you're a castaway citizen. We need to do better as a society.
@isabelledanska
@isabelledanska 2 года назад
I hate that someone even has to do a whole talk on a subject like that. If you don't know why middle aged women of colour matter you must be living a seriously sheltered life. Step out side your damn comfort zone.
@julianfritzer
@julianfritzer 2 года назад
This talk is VITAL. More people need to see it. Sadly though, the topic itself means very few people will stop to look :(
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Thank you, Julian. We're the forgotten demographic; and yes, I agree: more people need to see it. Thanks for joining the conversation.
@stocksconfidential8862
@stocksconfidential8862 5 месяцев назад
I'm a midlife woman of the white color, and I promise you the invisibility has NOTHING to do with color.
@Three_Sevens
@Three_Sevens 2 года назад
NOBODY IS SAYING YOU DON'T MATTER! This generation we live in now has it too easy.. we gotta make up non existent problems.
@ValerieAlbarda
@ValerieAlbarda 2 года назад
Thanks for responding. That's part of the problem: no one is saying it. Actions speak volumes. And I'm curious as to which generation you're speaking of. The women of color that I'm referring to in my Talk -- those my age -- are midlife women. born in the 60's through early 70's. Being a woman of color, there is nothing "too easy" for me ... for us. We were born into a society that failed to properly respect women, especially women of color. Now, we're being aged out. No one has to come right out and say we don't matter. We live it.
@talesofcsoplahia
@talesofcsoplahia 4 месяца назад
@@ValerieAlbarda Great response Valerie. Some people do not desire or even have the capacity to understand history and learn from it.
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