THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #2 - Do Not Open - Horror Narration/Horror Stories 

This guy is literally the living embodiment of "it is what it is"

Ok ima be honest here the key in ice trick is fucking genius, i'l keep that in mind for the next time i have to deal with some extremely specific situation.

The only reason we don't hear about Joshua ever again is because he obviously wouldn't fall for other BS the entities get into.

orange juice: *exists* the thing: *whomst has awoken the ancient one*

We only had Joshua Gillespie for 1 episode, but he might have been the smartest character in the whole series.

the only smart character who makes the right decisions in this entire podcast

This guy was actually pretty smart, like at the beginning he made some dumb decisions but he adapted and handled the situation really well, especially with the key thing.

"Fear can become as routine as hunger" As someone with a really bad anxiety disorder, I related to this line

the casket orange juice: ❌ rain:✅

This dude somehow survived the Buried and the Lonely, with a “don’t see it, don’t care” attitude

Finally someone who isnt stupid in a horror show

I present to you: legit the only person smart enough to outsmart one of these horrors in the entire damn podcast

i love how it was clearly trying to make joshua open the casket, but he was like "fuck u no i won't"

What I gather is that once he used the money it was deemed as him really accepting the deal and he was supposed to fail the test and open the coffin, being consumed by it or whatever was inside, and when they realized he had passed the test they sacrificed Jhon to it.

So in this ep of tma: local drug user finds out haunted coffins are awful roommates but at least he wins the award of smartest horror movie protagonist (the reward is surviving)

I still think this one is my favorite. The guy's just like "I ain't gonna fuck with that." And he doesn't.

"original statement given November 22, 1998" happy statement giving anniversary to what might be the smartest character in the whole podcast. i hope you're still alive and thriving in canon, king!

"I wanted to chase after him and return the money, but something WEIGHED ME DOWN, kept me LOCKED INTO my seat." unbelievable foreshadowing

Truly the king of Minding His Own Business

The best, most chilling part was John's obvious surprise to see Joshua in the doorway. I almost wish there hadn't been the whole bit about screaming, since that seemed to make it a little melodramatic, but overall this was a wonderfully chilling story.

I like to think if I ever got involved as Idiot A in some horror movie plot, this is how I'd handle the situation. Except my immediate reaction wasn't "freeze in ice", but "concrete, use concrete."

major props to Joshua, resisted an eldritch entity's influence for such a long time

Jon, the guy that watched a giant spider eat his childhood bully: Always nice to hear my hometown has at least one spooky story to tell. Gotta appreciate the shout out.

I think him spending the money was a sign that he took the deal. Whatever was in the box was sent there to feed. John got feed to it because the other guy didn’t open it

"fear can be as routine as hunger" sure hits different when you've heard season 5.

Magnus archives 2: the worst housemate ever

My cousin uses her spare coffin as an ice box at parties. She is an undertaker.

Man: **just living in his apartment** Coffin: ⚰😩

Spoilers This episode only gets funnier and funnier as you watch the show more and more and realize that this guy had what is essentially the mouth of one of the 14 eldritch ancient fears, delivered by 2 immortal har angers of doom, and this guy used it as f*ckin coffee table and lived to tell the tale.

Thats just how it be in Netherlands

Two episodes in and already obsessed. The quality, the immersion and overall everything is incredible. I especially love the effort put in beforehand to explain why the audiobooks are being recorded - it really set the tone.

Everybody in the comments already praised Joshua for not being an idiot so the only other thing I can add is that the dude did not get paid enough for this shit.

Dude got a siren-esc. thing in a box and ligit said “cool cool. I’ll just ignore this”

“It sounded almost like singing, if it was muffled by 20 feet of hard packed soil.” MAJOR FORESHADOWING

Do you know my favorite moment in this? It’s when evil John, in utter shock that Gillespie was not eaten by the coffin, immediately resorts to British pleasantries. “He hoped it hadn’t been too much trouble”??? AHAHAHHAHA Dude may be part of the Stranger now, but he is English first.

As somebody who's read a bunch of Creepypastas back in the day, my mind immediately went to "Oh boy, he's going to open the coffin majorly fuck something up". Really glad to see a horror story where the main character actively tries to resist doing something stupid.

The Man In The Tan Jacket, Holding A Padlocked Coffin

Yep. This is probably singlehandedly this most talked about audiodrama in the places I've looked, and I honestly get why. Only two episodes in and I can tell that I love this one already.

An absolute mad lad, the only victim with a brain cell, cannot describe how lucky this guy was

Johnathan starts using a spooky narrator voice during his closing statement. Some might say that was the VA breaking character accidentally, but I like to think that Johnathan has a flare for the dramatic.

Bro said “I aint fucking around and I ain’t finding out “

This guy is pretty smart. Props to him. Especially since John was surprised to see him.

the eldritch horrors can have a little orange juice, as a treat

"Nice too know ghost stories exist in my hometown" God, season one Jon is soo ridiculous, the denial is adorable.

Damn I'm such a people pleaser, that if he told me "hope it wasn't too much trouble" I would reply "oh no, not at all, thank you for coming and getting it."

"I can't tell if his voice is calming or sad," - my bestie while listening to this episode

I just finished uni in Bournemouth, this show is surprisingly accurate with the locations, etc. Used to go to the triangle every day for a cuppa'. c': And my brother lived on the same Edinburgh street mentioned in episode one. Spooky coincidences, or will I be showing up in the archives of future? who knows.

The ads kill me He's talking about sleepwalking and its all creepy and the music is playing and then I just hear RAYMOUR AND FLANNIGAN And I practically jump out of my chair

To this day, this guy remains the smartest character in this podcast.

I LOVE this story. Spoiler warning: I love how it reads at first glance like a vampire story. But its not until much later we find out about the coffin and that's not it at all. The moans are those in the Buried searching for water. So fucking cool the way this was written

That's what happens when you open DIO's coffin: you blink and you find yourself already dead inside the coffin :3

My daughter recommended this to me, so glad she did.

Coffin just wants some num nums

After finishing tma and coming back to the start I gotta say, they should’ve hired this guy into the archives, so much could’ve been stopped sooner if there was SOMEONE WITH A BRAINCELL

joshua gillespie. winner of the idgaf war

Feels like a Pandora's box

"Some might call me a coward" Something that's supposedly survived for weeks within a closed coffin that has carved into the lid Do Not Open. Seems to me like not opening it is the only rational choice here bud.

This guy absolutely scared the shit out of whatever John was. That was peak ‘what the fuck, humanity, why are you like this?’

I have the sudden urge to close the outside doors and windows and sit in front of a secure wall instead of in the middle of the room.

This is so goooooooood! This episode seriously gave me the chills. I love this sort of horror where you’re left in the dark as to what was really going on, but sometimes gives you tiny clues to make a bigger picture. It’s super intriguing!!!

Elegantly told and very, very frightening. This plays cleverly with various folklore elements embedded in our subconscious: the Faustian pact, the command that Bluebeard gave to his wife etc, and then subverts them by having Joshua win (sorry, that's a spoiler) through prudence and ingenuity.

I got here from Overly Sarcastic Productions, I've already listened to episode 1 and started episode 2, I'm loving it so far!

Oh my goodness, his voice is so soothing and soft that when the ad came on toward the end it was very loud and made me jump

okay, i love the duality of the statement giver's extremely bad judgement in accepting an absurdly sketchy offer, and his ingenuity in finding a practical solution to a really spooky and dangerous situation. warm coffin that moans when it rains and scratches at stuff put on top of it has started making you sleepwalk to go unlock it? freeze the key in a bowl of ice! i love how unprepared this john guy was for him to actually survive his time with the coffin. sounds like it caused him to lose a pretty rough bet. i don't really know what to make of the closing notes? the defunct shipping company is intriguing, but what does it mean that this guy spent 2 years living in an otherwise empty apartment building? also, nice to get a little detail of the narrator's life! don't know if it'll mean anything, but now we know he grew up in a beachy coastal town.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WITH COMMON FUCKING SENCE IN THIS WHOLE PODCAST OH MY GOD

Really liked this. I was washing my car just listening and finding myself stopping at times to listen closely.

Ah yes, Architects. The most sensible people to have in a supernatural situation. Also the profession I chose to pursue. Epic.

The creepiest part of this whole thing has gotta be that he was living by himself in a deserted building😭 like was he even aware?? And was it intentional??

This episode gets funnier every time you relisten to the series

Nah when they said that the other seven flats in the building were vacant I felt chills down my spine 😓

I was literally just thinking that he should try freezing the key in a block of ice (its what my parents did to prevent easy use of their "emergency" credit cards) when the character actually goes and does just that. Love when character in horror stories actually think and make smart decisions.

It’s 11 at night, I am doing my workout routine. I can’t stand repetition and my mind gets very bored very quickly so I was looking for an immersive podcast to listen to to get my mind off of the mind numbing movements. I’d heard of this so I thought I’d give it a try, but you know what? Not tonight. I’ll wait until tomorrow, in daylight and around people, before I finish listening to this. I’ll go back to Critical Role for now.

Ofc he's English lmao! Anywhere else the coffin would've been open on day 1. He just turned the Telly louder to ignore the ominous sounds. I'm laughing so hard!

We're listening to this series for like the 7th time with some really high quality headphones is a trip. 5:02 you can hear creaks in the floorboards under Jon's chair!

King of “let me mind my own business”. Love that for him.

Incase it in ice, smart as hell.

This chapter/case-file took on a tone I was not expecting. The direct predation of the "Anglerfish" was not present here. Instead, it delved into the sensation of curiosity, but one that required active suppression because of something akin to a lulling siren or pied-piper. Common threads I've noted: The PoV/victim is inebriated, lost, and lured. The subject is mostly concealed, making eerie vocalisations. At the end, it is a trap that leaves no trace of an individual. Maybe the inebriation provides clarity into "elsewhere", and maybe being lost leads our PoVs closer to wherever this "elsewhere" is, if it even is a somewhere. If it's an in-between, then it'd makes sense that their pursuers need to coax them to the otherside. Somewhere that's much harder to leave once you're there. I'm excited to continue listening, and maybe I'll narrow in on the nature of these mysteries, or if they're connected at all. [23:A:31:01-21=10] "Do Not Open"

Im not usually a fan of horror or stories with no ending but, I love this series!

Episode 2 of a long crusade to watch all of this. I'll probably be an archivist meself when I get to the end.

Oooooh I see. Interesting story. Very refreshing protagonist too. A very adaptable and smart cookie.

Joshua has self control I could never dream of. I would've opened it even with the clear signs telling me not to.

Oh, Joshua. None of us know what happened to you, but we wish you the very best for the rest of your days.

Clever! Very clever, and quite a bit of fun. Did roll my eyes a bit as soon as we started detailing the Amsterdam trip, but it fit the character so well in the end that I really don't have a gripe with it. Loved the smashing of the ice as well - "ah yes, thank you for the abomination. no it was FINE." *snicker

Ah yes, the only answer expected from a british person receiving a coffin : let's make a cuppa tea xD

I was listening with my eyes closed with my game headset on 😭 and an ad played really loud. I almost shit myself lmao

My guy actually was smart unlike all other guys in similar situations

This is my favorite episode. Joshua is truly a King for resisting *[REDACTED]*.

Joshua is the best horror protagonist ever

Just came here to say this is the best episode of the podcast . When he starts waking up with the key to the coffin in his hand I started freaking out it’s SO GOOD

The horror protagonist we all needed.

this is probably my favorite episode still. it's just so creepy, especially the realization towards the end.

Damn, the man in this statement was so smart that even the guy who gave him the money for the package and the two delivery guys were suprised.

The undead couldn't harm him because it was in the *living* room - duh

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SHOW I've never seen anyone mention this but is the empty apartment complex The Silence (Peter Lukas' ritual)? The whole empty apartment thing has always stood out to me because it's the only part of the story that doesn't get explicitly explained later. John and the Coffin are related to the Buried. Breekon and Hope are part of the Stranger. An empty apartment building is not either of those entities' M.O; it's a lot closer to The Lonely.

My sister is obsessed with this series so I'm here because of her. So far I'm enjoying it, uhhh DaughterofSomnus sends her regards.

third time im listening to this podcast in one month. Jonny's voice is so addicting.

(21/7/21 9:09 AM) The iced key part was GENIUS

A coffin in the living room. Quite ironic

Voice of the Contrarian: But what if… we DID open it? Or better yet… THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW?!

Thank goodness he was tenacious enough not to open the coffin. I don't blame Joshua for being pissed off though. He was clearly being set up to die. 23:45 The fuu-