Been in no contact for 9 months he never reached out. Slowly understanding that he will not reach out due to his avoidant attachment. Was together for three years. Seems like I didn’t matter. Hope we all heal from the pain we’re going through. Lots of love ❤
I’m sorry you are hurting. He may never reach out but you have to learn to be okay with that. Things happen for a reason so if he doesn’t see how amazing your are someone else will. The longer it’s been the better you heal.
My ex and I speak often. She initiates communication as well. And she said " She hopes we're not over for good. But that entirely depends on us " We initially broke up in December and it's been up and down since. However, she's finally seeing that I've evolved and my only focus at the moment is what I call L&R which is love and respect. She noticed that I can not only stay away. But be loving and respectful when we do interact. It's difficult not being attached to the outcome when it's someone you love. But this is all I have left that I haven't tried and it seems to be working. I tried ignoring her and it infuriated her because that doesn't fit my situation. As long as she still has feelings for me that's all the encouragement I need. I'm actually beginning to appreciate the breakup. I feel we'll be so much better together now. Meanwhile I'm growing as a man and adding value to myself overall.
This is my situation also! Its ups and downs. I try to initiate no contact and she ends up contacting within a couple of days. I dont ignore her because like you said I can still be loving and respectful if she reaches out. Shes also been very respectful with this so im just reciprocating it back. Im currently doing non contact again but atleast we agreed that we both want to fix this and we just need some days to gather our thoughts on tje situation and talk about it
Girl I like, likes me too but her dad passed away in February and she got out of an abusive relationship 4 months before that. Told me from the beginning that she wants friendship, and doesnt want to date now which I respected. I grew feelings for her, and she grew feelings for me. Only a few weeks ago she finally got to burry her dad. And one day I checked on her to see how she was doing . She thought I was being needy in that moment, because my dumbass told her she was being short in her messages which I regret saying. I legit wanted to know how her day was. But since then about 2 weeks ago, she brings that moment up and says I was needy and she thinks I will be that way again. Which I’m not and I wont, wish she’d see that she created that scenario in her head. Her ex was needy and controlling / abusive and I feel like she might think I will end in that route. I’m not her ex, she told me she wants friendship again and isnt ready for a relationship or wanting one atm. Which was what she said from the beginning , yet she messages me everyday still, goodmorning , goodnight texts, how was my day, weekend, crack jokes, let me know when she made it home etc. I never once had a bad gut feeling about her , I had that bad feeling about my exes though and of course it ended. With her I dont feel that bad feeling. I see a future, I get happy hearing from her , always have good things to say. I do hope in time, she will see we are actually good for eachother. Been watching these videos to try and understand what to do, what it all means etc. Came across some stuff that sounded bad because the situation I explained is way different, especially dealing with a loss in the family. So I get that anxiety feeling in my stomach , worrying. But it passes , and I start to think that I do see a future and that she wont always feel this way
@@NeilWeaselboots The best thing you can do is stay away. It's VERY HARD but it's necessary. After a while you'll get the hang of it. Adding pressure is only going to delay the outcome. When you do speak , keep it respectful and brief.
Listen guy she’s never coming back especially if she tried to friendzoned you I’ve been blocked for two weeks now and I even I resign my job because of her.. just move on she probably fuqing some other dude as we speak
First month into the break-up I was devastated, I couldn't eat, sleep, I went crazy. After a month, 2 weeks no contact, I am so peaceful, I am thinking, why we didn't break up earlier. I am not concerned anymore if he loves me, or contacts me, or comes to my place. Now it is silence and it is so calming.
Update, in August after two months of silence he contacted me. We are together since 6 weeks, we were talking for hours, now it is much better, everything.
No contact and to ensure -no run ins I moved to a different state. Once we are done ,it’s done. It’s been 4 years and I’m so relieved, I don’t have to worry about the lies, breadcrumbs etc……
Listen, my ex and I was madly in love, I thought we was until I told her about herself respectful, the next I knew she block me from social media, texts, and phone calls. I never heard from her again now what’s so wrong about this I was worried something happen to her and she move on with her life and never said anything to me just ghost me. So people you gotta be careful who you love!!
One week of NC and he blocked me on fb. It's funny because he was the one who suggested we stay friends and blocking e/o on social media is childish and not needed.
She’s keeping you on the back burner while trying to test other options. If she’s successful in finding the best option out there, you’ll be no longer needed in their life. They’ll kick you out! Do not accept friendship, stay away from her unless and until she wants to see you and talk about it. I hope she’s not seeing anyone else but in most of the cases, they atleast start talking to some other guy to avoid missing you
@nikhilavhad4284 I am over the whole break-up. She is definitely seeing someone probably not the rebound guy but I’ve not kept up or cared about her personal life. A mutual friend was asking about my ex and told me once she found out who she was, that she has been seeing someone at least six months in a serious relationship. Best of luck to her as she is no longer my responsibility and I have moved on with my own life.
What about if THE text after 3 months came from his best friend but not him? Is that a check in where I'm at on his behalf? Breadcrumbing? Reading too much into it?
My ex added me back on Snapchat yesterday, after a month of no contact. I broke it a week ago, and now all of a sudden she adds me on Snapchat and Facebook. Does that mean she’s coming back?
Mine contacted me within a month during her rebound..... Stayed with the rebound. Contacted me again 4 months into her rebound only to tell me how happy she was now and then told me she missed me and said she was sad talking to me. But.... Still with her rebound now for 5 months. They are most likely getting married.. I hope none of you ever feel the pain I've felt in 5 months. To see the person you love and wanted to marry jump from you IMMEDIATELY into another relationship within a week or so and not only that, see they are about to get engaged soon to be married is the ultimate dagger in your heart. To think they found their soulmate right after you immediately like that. Horrible feeling.
I wouldn't even be excited.. at all.. I realized my ex acts just like their ex.. and all I'll ever get is the same mess because that person never took time to heal and jump from relationship to relationship within secs.. so there's nothing amazing when someone misses you or thinking about you when they lack accountability and don't even realize the things they hate about their previous ex.. they turned into..
I can definitely relate cause my ex you to tell me all the time I remind her of her exes similarities but at that time I'm proving that I'm loyal to her through the good and bad we will get through this together tried to correct my mistakes from the 1st time I can leave temporary she will tell me I can't leave but if it was viceversa she'll make a scene and make it seem like I'm a monster red flags of her exes she was the real control freak we been broken up 4 months she already is in another relationship with someone In prision knowing she been down that road before and she was being used but I seen this dude comment on her Facebook so they been talking no telling when tho that's the best you can do the best version of yourself and I'm not saying someone in prison can't be someone true soulmate in this case without her healing it's not going to happen you couldn't do time with me out here when I was great to you how you going to be fully committed to someone on the inside and then think God is going to have paradise waiting for you with him or any other man good karma dosent work that way we both were suppose to be healing and 2 months after we broke up she was already in another relationship she hasn't healed or even trying to heal cause she can't handle being alone she will regret loosing out on me Im not the easiest person to get along with but neither was she I was there good and bad days I applaud myself cause I came along way from mistreating woman I felt like I owed woman especially the black woman
Hurts she is in another relationship but what's makes it worse is she was making up excuses why she doesn't contact me when it was cause she was in a new relationship when she could have been honest I wouldn't have liked it but I would of respected it cause deep down sometimes it's hard to tell someone the truth but why I have to find out on Facebook smh
@@christoffervik9997 when you come from a life like mine when your mom is the 1st one who broke your heart cause she was basically racist towards all men you take that same trait for years and years growing up mistreating woman In all different areas manipulation kind artist anything bad you can name it when you realized the damaged you caused yourself as in you feeling empty on the inside not saying some of these woman were innocent cause they dogged me to we were using each other back to what I was saying since 2020 I been trying to change ways we didn't last the 1st time got back together the 2nd I tried to correct my mistakes from after the 1st breakup gave her emotional stability held her at night through her nightmares anything good you name it I did it my sister put me up on game of how to treat a woman the good and the bad and that's what I tried to do with my the 2nd time and it wasn't good enough I invested a lot In her and I can't get none of my time back I stuck my neck out for no kids neither is do but were suppose to build a family get married had good dreams but she is broken I understand when someone feels like they don't deserve to be in your life cause there not worthy they just tell you in different ways people deal with pain differently if you did what I did for her you will feel the same way maybe this is my bad karmic relationship from all the bad shit I did to woman in my past but I tried to correct that after we broken up the 1st pay all that bad karma back but I can be replaced cause the new me is a 1 of a kind and God will bless me with a real black 👑 who will stick with me through the good and bad and I will for her to
I'm not going to mistreat people ever again cause this pain I'm going through I'm going to heal and get back into the 🌎 and help people overcome what I went through
Guys my x is fukd up She sends me text about how guys shouldn't hurt you like that . They shoukd hurt you like this. Wtf kinda crap is that. Then she texted me saying it was all a lie since the beginning Then she said cuz shes a hole i broke down afrer that why she doing this to me She knows i just got out 13 yrs messed up trauma relationship
This the 2nd time. And she will come back begging, unless she knows I ain’t taking her back, I gave her an ultimatum that if she did this again, I was gone. I hope her the best. Already talking to 4 other women.
Been about half a month since I started no contact after she tried to keep me in her back pocket as a friend. And she’s starting to post stuff in her chat like: “my ex would never allow me to wear this” despite me having blocked her.
I love this advice! I listen only to this guy and Kels Coaching on here, as they are so knowledgeable - They have literally got me through my heartbreak :)
my ex-boyfriend don't believe me because he think I'm cheating on him I want to know when you cheat on somebody for having sex and love somebody that's not cheating right 😢💔
My ex contacted me yesterday from an app called text plus I told her to fuck off and leave me alone and told her to go back to her rebound I just don't get it why she keeps on trying like I don't
I kept ignoring their happy birthday, mwrry Christmas message then months after "i just wanted to say hi and i just miss talking to you." I took a few days to respond and said hi___ , i miss you too. He responded to say awwwe i miss you sooo much. I never responded because i am trying to heal and not fall back into what happened before. I am in complete lockdown mode with my heart against him. If he never man up and reach out properly instead of breadcrumbing me i am not responding to him again and ill be fine with it. Peace of mind over all things. Ill live, God would provide.
Coach I was in NC for two months and I sent an email with the certain issues I felt needed to be addressed. She replied to me cold and told me to heal and good luck that were in the past. A week later she unblocked me for a day on social media on my birthday weekend and was looking at all my stories. I replied last night to her email 9 days later saying thank you and I wish her the well. I dint over reacted and I’m going back to NC till she makes a move. We we’re together for 3 years . What do you think about this situation
What if the person put you into the position where you had no choice. ? Some people take advantage of good people and get mad when you leave. Then try to punish you with no contact bc they are mad that you left after they treated you badly.?
I wish I had the heart to leave my ex cause I was thinking about it through out our relationship especially when shit was going down hill seeing repeating patterns of her manipulating ways it would have hurt her more cause I was true blessing in her life then she was in to my life cause I treated her better I sacrifice more as well now she acting like I'm coming at her for no reason cause she playing innocent even know she made me leave she broke up with me
@@tevinpowell242 I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that. I believe that if we are good and kind and etc that even if you’re the one to leave they will miss you and will later on realize it. Do not stay in an unhealthy relationship because someone tries to manipulate you into doing so. The right woman will not use manipulation. ❤️
@@indiakxoxo I appreciate it coming from mistreating woman throughout the years realizing it wasn't right to take my misery out on all woman cause of how my I seen my mom mistreated man and how she mistreated me cause of him my sister telling me to start treating woman right and she said it feels like it was slap to her face I told her it's not your faught maybe this is my bad karmic relationship paying my bad karma back my ex she been through a lot dreams about being shot in the leg by her ex dreams about being raped again even tho I made my mistakes overall I was good to her she just took me for granted I believe noman ever gave her love like I did before so it was unreal to her it was hard for her to accept that still doesn't justify to mistreat anyone I know the game I know the truth but me mistreating woman in my past has gotten me anywhere but a broken spirit I just want to heal and have a true black queen and build a family and help save the youth own my own business be a basketball coach like coach Carter but just in my own way I'm sorry what you had to go through to playing with someones emotions is a dangerous game words true or false always hurt worse then a 👊
@@tevinpowell242 yes words can hurt more than physical sometimes. Also being treated badly by the one you fell in love with can hurt just as bad as well. I rather walk away than have the one I fell for treat me harshly. I hope you accomplish all of your dreams ! You can do it!
@@indiakxoxo thank you for your words of encouragement I pray and hope you receive your true 👑 as well whoever you desire and you accomplished your goals and dreams as well
I wish I'd watch this video when my accent. I broke up because I did all the wrong things. I. I contacted him when I shouldn't have. I should have left everything alone and I did the exact opposite
We broke up after 3-4 years ago in January. I was unfaithful, have been working on my issues. Last time I saw her was 2/13/23. Longest we’ve gone without talking is about 20 days. I have reached out every month since. Last night she told me she wants to keep her space and keep things how they’ve been. Too late for NC, or does it even matter now? Im feeling like it doesn’t.
What if she's keeps finding a way to be around me. This morning she showed up at my door because I had her mail. I texted her about it but she didn't reply and just showed up. Then she wanted to talk.
Coach, I'm doing no contact for 3 weeks, she keep on chatting me how mad she is and some stuff pertaining to our son like "you have to get our son here from our house no one will take care oh him I'm at work". I never reply, never talk to her, never post anything about her or about the break up. Then after that she never chat me anymore it's been 11 days since her last chat, and to me it's okay, I want to move on. But I posted pictures of mine and my son on Facebook once a week. Just a picture of our son and me nothing more. I didn't post anything aside of that. Am I doing the right thing coach?
Whatnif you were together for 21 years been broken up for 4 months. He diesnt have another gf but he does live with somene he has feelings for.....i moved across the st just so i can save money.....we talk still almost everyday...but honestly all he talks about is her when she treats him just like an option and she tolds him she just wants to be friends.....shes very jealous of me cause she tells him she like him but doesnt want to cross the friendship line which that was already crossed.....i think shes just using him but thinking about doing no contact so i can work on me better and ket him do him.... if its meant to be it will be
Yeah that's what coach was talking about he shouldn't have access to you you need space to give him time to miss you he's getting his karma to because the lady he chose does not want him so now he's running back to you for comfort you need to do no contact so he can miss you and come back to you for good😊
What if there is no contact and kids are involved. Does he not care at all about kids or you? He's in a new relationship n doesn't even reach out concerning children
The only connection was chemistry and sexual attraction. The new girl sneaked in and got his emotional connection. Destroyed everything that was unique and special in our situation…😢
He made 2 calls and came once. Smiling and touching me. But after that for 2 weeeks total silence. Especially considering that we live in the same building. Maybe I should've invited him in when he came? But it was late evening. 🤦♀️
Nooooo. Please don’t blame yourself! Wouldn’t have mattered. If he was supposed to keep coming back, he would have and it’s ok. He obviously took you for granted, like most men do, and then they regret it later after you’re over it. You will find someone SO much better. You’ll see.
After 9 months of not talking to me he follows me on tik tok. I allowed him to follow me for a few days then I removed him because I can't allow him to feel like he can just pop back up and watch me. I don't know what he is thinking now that I removed him but now i want him to follow me again lol do you think he will still message me?
All perks from being in his life have been taken away, NC for 2 1/2 months. He Breadcrumbs for yrs but this last time he put out the Friends BS , no way in hell i accept that. He needs to put effort to gain anything w me. He dating trash every single time he goes silent
I’ve been in no contact for almost 3 weeks I’m his first love his first girlfriend and we were together almost 24/7 for three years which I think ruined our relationship he cheated on me and got in a rebound relationship with her he met her at a party and was out the door he asks his mom if he should call me or take me to lunch I have him blocked on everything we worked at Amazon so he got into our work app and sent me a shout out I started the no contact bc he told me if I don’t stop texting to him I won’t get used to not talking to him and I said okay no problem and now he is trying to reach out but can’t but still with this girl
Me and my girl have dated for over a year and half. We struggle communicating and we need a break too work on ourselves and realize what we did wrong. She says she’s too emotional to make a decision of us getting back together and it needs time. She doesn’t want no contact but to be friends.This no contact will be so hard she’s my best friend my soulmate.
My ex ðumped me, two days later posted sad songs on fb and asked if we could be friends, i said i cant be friends with an ex as its not good for my feelings and mental health, not heard from her since, still miss her and saying no to friends was tough
My ex has left 2xs. The 1st time i was totally confused ( didn't know about attachments) He is a DA for sure. After i learned his behavior. I decided to walk away from the breadcrumbs that went on for 18 months after. When i told him I'm done,.. this isnt what i want and before it gets where we hate eachother we need to cut eachother out of eachothers lives. He was stunned and asked to try again. I reluctantly agreed. We were together for 6 months and things were great, unfortunately his fears being a DA creeped in and he ended it again. I left with dignity ( but only after i told him to NEVER contact me again) I went silent and that was 8/2022. He's reached out 2 times and I've responded but refused to get together. Since then he stalks me on the dating apps and has reached out again. Until something significant is said i will not agree to seeing him. Who knows if he will reach out again....one never know. What i do know is i will not settle for breadcrumbs and will NEVER reach out. I feel as though he has regrets about the breakup, but its uo to him to try to fix things not me. So the point is if you stay no contact long enough for them to feel that, they will most likely reach out. I miss my ex a lot but I'm not willing to sacrifice my self respect by trying to contact him or convince him to take me back. Its low value and at the end of the day i have to love myself more❤❤
Me and my ex been together for 20 something years then we ended up getting married was only married for 8 years, it have been five years we have been apart now just recently he reached out to me we spent time together but he then lead me on then told me he did not want a relationship with me he told me he just got out of one he then told me to fall back and let things fall how they fall he told me he wanted no relationship with no one. well we were together again having a great time with our kids and grandson I then pulled up to his house wanting my clothes he was with another women he told me i could not get my stuff until he came back i was really hurt but i did not react. So i texted him and told him i could not do this anymore i agreed to sleep with him and only him but i can't i still love him. Will he come back or try to make and attempt
They haven’t reached out in 3 months nor I them, but I caught him staring at me a few weeks ago, and he tried to say hey to me on the sidewalk last week when I passed him. Is that a start?
What is your point of you when I could not go no contact I want after my boyfriend broke up with me. And I behaved unreasonable for a specific period of time after the break up… after he said that I need to stop I took the no contact rule. So my question is what do you think about such cases and the likelihood of coming back?
Me and my ex partner broke up in the January then I did no contact from her about ending of February time and she message me in March time and now we chat to one and other once a month on facetime and we message each other now and again
I’ve been here before because I was triggered and impatient and lashed out at times or made a bigger deal out of things than needed. I had to forgive myself for my behavior and not allow it to keep me in a place where I’m always trying to make up to spin the narrative on how he views me based off previous bad behavior and just deal with the reality of how I should had things moving forward. I think a lot of times because that bad behavior we feel misunderstood and want to make up for it and prove we can be better.
Question... She broke up she said i took her for granted she was right because of a past relationship so i didnt beg i kinda went nc only 2 text in 4 months she was angry didnt wanna talk i did work on myself kinda easy fix i should of see that before and now i sent a accountability letter...should i leave it like this or in a few weeks fallow up with a text about the letter or just invite her for a coffee...thank you for helping 😊
I had my 1 on 1 with Coach yesterday and listen to this man. He knows what he is talking about. Clear concise and very honest. Been in no contact a few weeks now and she has been breadcrumbing me and hard to not respond and not react to her post. But I feel no contact will help I feel it will work but you gotta stay strong.
Hey man! Jusy found your channel amd subscribed! Really good videos! I do have a question tho! My ex broke up with me after 10 months together and started dating someone a month after we ended. Her new relationship showed some signs of a rebound in the beginning aka it was moving really fast.... introduced new guy to family after a few weeks, going on vacation together after 3 months, talking about spending forever with this person after 4 months, and now they are talking about marriage 8 months in. Ive been in NC ever since i found out about the new guy 8 months ago. I literally just fell off the grid. I haven't contacted her or even watched one of her social media stories. Ive been bettering myself and I'm literally in the best shape of my life. I was already in really good shape but now I'm so much stronger, healthier, etc... I can get other girls, but it's like my heart still won't allow me to move on. My question is.... How long is a relationship no longer considered a rebound? Ive been trying to tell myself that she's getting married to this new guy amd never coming back to force myself to move on, but it's not working. I still want her and only her. Shes 21 and im 23 by the way, so i know we're still young, but I just want a chance to have a conversation with her bc i know that if she saw the new me, she would want me back, but i don't know that I'll ever get the chance bc of her new guy.
@@LoLaLyTV Thank you! I hope so too! NC has been the toughest thing I've ever done. I genuinely just miss her being in my life, but at the same time I'm not going to break NC just to shoot her a message you know. Honestly, there's so many layers to this story but the long story short is my ex broke up with me on vacation and struggles with her mental health/eating disorder/BPD traits. Told me that she just couldn't be in a relationship and that she didn't love me anymore which came as an absolute shock bc she never told me that there was anything she didn't like about me. All I ever heard was that I'm the best and that she's so thankful for me, can't believe that I'm real and interested in her, etc... Then.....she was gone. So for two months I tried to learn all I could about mental health and eating disorders from other girls I knew just so I could try and support her even though we weren't together. Then, I found out she was already dating someone else and it ruined me, but I told her that I was happy to hear that she was doing well and that I hoped everything works out for her and I asked if she wanted to stay friends to which she said no...and that was it. Haven't reached out or done anything since. I struggled so much that I started going to therapy bc I thought that I was the reason she struggled mentally and that her eating disorder came back. I just couldn't forgive myself for what I thought I had done. Therapy has helped me heal and realize that I was carrying burdens in the relationship that were never mine to carry. On the outside, that sounds awful of her to do those things to me and people are like why would you even want to talk to her.... but she's human and young, so I've forgiven her bc I know there's things I could have done better too. That doesn't mean that I would take her back, but I just want to have a coffee with her and see where we are both at if that makes sense bc she truly is a good person who I get along with really well.
@@JesseJames771 I'm not a coach and came here for advice as well but I've been binge watching his videos and I think he'd probably say you're chasing her. There's no need to be friends if you want to be more with her eventually plus like he just told me, if they're in a relationship don't meet up. Respecting her and her new relationship regardless if it's a rebound or not may actually get noticed by her. Also since you've been working on yourself and going to therapy...continue. If your heart won't allow you to be with anyone else even if they're showing feelings for you, then you're not ready for a relationship or dating with anyone including her. Again I'm not a coach, but I really hope Coach replies so that I can see what he says as well. I wish you the best and don't forget to continue working on yourself. 💪🏾💪🏾❤️
@@LoLaLyTV Thanks for the comment! Really appreciate ya! Yeah, I did chase her a bit during the first month bc I thought she was really struggling. I didn't just want to leave someone I loved when they needed me most. However, since I found out about the new guy, I have had absolutely zero interaction with her. As far as she knows, I'm uninterested and not even curious bc I don't watch her stories. However, I feel like I'm in a waiting game right now waiting for her new relationship to end. I don't want to do that and I know I need to put myself back out there and date again, but it's tough to find someone you genuinely are interested in. Anyhow, thanks again!
Neighbor told me my ex girlfriend packed her things with her mom in the car. I was confused she left out the blue everything was great. She ghosted me I didn’t try reach out the day she left. She sent a text wishing me well and saying she hope I have a blessed life etc 😂. We broke like a week ago😂😂.
What about when they talk badly about you and start making up lies about the breakup? Long story short she broke up with me but she’s telling people a whole different story like I’m some type of bad dude. She’s even had her cousin add my snap to tell me to stop talking about her when I haven’t even done anything. Anyways when a ex is talking crap is that a possibility that they still have feelings ?
I want my ex back. We started as friends i had been liking for five years. Even before hand on we talked then he came back and talked to me again for three months, dated a month.. its really hard to get over him when i see him every single day . He makes sexual jokes to me at times that he used to do in the past and kind of still picks on me. The worst part is i never told him i loved him.. i still do..
Dont be a pussy, either you tell him outright or else move on. Its the worse thing i been through, but after being dumped there is no space for "special" friendship, she chose like that. And relationships are made of choice always, i just wasnt the chosen
been in no contact going on 3 weeks the only connection we have is a snap streak where I just send black screens every other day no words or sounds and havent been posting been in the process of moving but now she has started calling do I break no contact?
She saw my brother at the airport and she apologized to my brother about us and my brother asked her if shes ok and to my brothers point of view she was sad and didn't answer his question.
