The Narcissists' Code 452- What could happen if a Narcissist sees you happy after the discard phase 

My ex was watching me from a different page I didn't know on my birthday. Once I posted my new relationship he cursed me out from different fake numbers.... mind you this man has a whole relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. He told me he sees the type of person I am and I'm not loyal.... he wanted access to me whenever he wanted and was mad I moved on. I blocked every number and page on social media. He's her problem now..

“Time is not an apology.” Lee, you said a whole word with that one!

You can't worry about the smear campaign. They will do that no matter what. Accept it and enjoy your life. Be pink and positive. Don't allow a narcissist ruin your life. I have strong boundaries now. I learned so much from this experience and my life growing up. I don't care. I am so indifferent to this person. People you have to do your thing. There is life after Narcissist abuse. I would suggest learn about your upbringing and why you allow toxic people to control you. Why stop your life. So they see you are happy without them. I DON'T CARE. I am going to go forward with my life. Click on like if you enjoyed my comment. Keep strong. 5 weeks non contact. DON'T GO BACK. I think there is a difference, because, I discarded the person. I am writing a book to help others, so, they won't go through this again.

They can literally sense it. You will be happy and moving on and bam they come out of the blue and start apologizing

I laughed so hard at the “you’re happy aren’t you??” *sniff *sniff That’s literally it 🤣🤣

Don't let them put one little toe into your life. They will do anything to mess up your happiness.

I outsmarted him, I don’t have social media anymore. He can’t follow me if I don’t give him access to my life. He will never steal any more time, my care and my happiness from me.

This is why I tell all my client NO CONTACT! They are emotional vampires. Great video ❤️

Lol, they can literally sense your happiness from 1000 miles away 😂

They feel so unhappy & insecure with themselves deep down that they project all of that on to others. Then when their victims say “Hey, I can’t do this anymore” and they move on, that’s when they come back in & try to hoover. “If I’m unhappy then nobody is allowed to be happy without me”.

"I got back with my ex and they said 'I know a place' and they took me to hell" 🤣🤣🤣 bro you're so funny as well as being wise 🙌🏼. I am healing through going no contact and focusing on my goals and my passions but needed a top up of wisdom, reminders and encouragement - this was definitely it so thanks 🙏🏼

FACTS💯💯 he tried to come back 2 years later because he saw that I was in a new relationship....I sent him on his way...he had me and loss me...his loss. He stalked my home and left notes on my car...while in a relationship with someone else. The Nerves. I'm not giving up my good man for a Narc. Don't go back people. Nothing will change.

For you to be going to therapy and addressing these characteristics is worth a freaking standing ovation. Honestly, it's like the least narcissistic thing you can do, and its incredibly awesome that you're owning everything, bettering yourself and helping others. Bravo Lee, I really enjoy watching your content as I am a surviver of narcissistic family members. Thank you for your realness

Exactly. When you said time is no apology. My ex narc got back in touch by randomly liking my fb pics after years of no contact. All just an effort to test what your reaction is going to be. If you are nice to them again they will see that as a weakness to then start telling you a completely different version of what happened in the past painting themselves out to be the victim. Hoping because you are being nice/civil back that you will give them an apology and accept the blame for their actions. Even though you both know that you definitely dont owe them any apology. Then when you present/remind them about the real version of what actually happened with evidence, they will then come out with... O.m.g it's in the past. Get over it! With no remorse and zero apology for all the trouble and chaos the caused.

Time is NOT an apology 🙌

Confirmation. The discard is also a result of them wanting you to be unhappy in my opinion. I've felt I was being punished with my emotions. You're speaking facts.

Not only is my ex a narcissist, but my own mother is as well. I’m divorced and trying to find my happiness and both of them are trying to disrupt that at every opportunity 😭

Man did I learn this the hard way after letting an ex back in my life after 1.5 years apart and I was happy and he derailed my entire life goals that year and set me back sooo much!

This is why u block and go no contact! And keep your social media on private!! Thanks for sharing and keeping it real as always 😎 Sensei Lee

I set strict boundaries, I even got a separate number so he can text and call that number to get in contact with his daughter. All of a sudden he’s messaging me about wanting marriage, then with the same breath tells me I pushed him to another woman that lives in another country! He choose her over me! He kept telling me I’m the worst woman and his biggest mistake . And that hurt but it opened my eyes ! NEVER ON GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD I GET BACK WITH THAT GUY! I’m single I don’t even want a relationship right now, not because I’m hurt but because I realised that I need to work on me love me …. All of me

When I was in my 20’s this is exactly what happened. They left me after cheating and wanting to continue to chase after one of these women, and as soon as I was with someone he tried to come back in the most dramatic way saying he was finally ready to get married. Of course I got back with him and he was never able to move forward with commitment. I didn’t know about narcissism back then. I feel like this is the Age of Enlightenment when it comes to this personality disorder for me. I am seeing now a string of them starting in my childhood. Knowledge = power. I am finally breaking the chain. Thanks Lee for another great video!!Healing through your channel.

They have Spidey senses when it comes to your emotions. They don't care about them but...will sense your happiness and obsess on destroying it

My ex told me “ballin his eyes out” 🧐 telling me that his whole reason for cheating on me was so I can hurt as much as he did, and he saw no effect so he had to keep his relationship going! Saying that he’s not as strong as me. They truly want to see you hurt, and if you’re smiling or happy they start to wonder whose bringing that happiness into your life. He thinks I’m with someone and always tries to get information out of me. I have to coparent with him so I’ve learned to create boundaries and make any conversation only about the kids. Cut them off don’t give them any info about you than is needed.

This is exactly why I keep myself off of Facebook and Instagram...my PRIVACY is precious to me especially inorder to keep myself happy. I love this channel the advise and 1st hand personal experience he shares with us is something I've never gotten from an actual therapist.

“Stop entertaining toxicity from your past.”🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥”Galavanting and skipping along.😅😂

I appreciate that you qualified your comment with if you are happy being single as well as in a relationship don’t take them back - single is sooo satisfying and peaceful

True ...I used to say to my ex why cant we just be happy in peace ..he would always say life is not a fantasy ....now I live a fantasy and I will never change it for nothing .

Narcissist don’t change!!!! It can be a boy friend, husband, wife , girlfriend , family member or just a friend. Just let them go forever if you want to stay happy.❤❤

Wanna know what it's called when your ex sees you happy ??? K A R M A 😊 stay in your truth. Thank you Lee for another great video.

We used to call them jerks, now we know its a legit personality disorder

Thank you for raising awareness and helping others. My daughter and I suffer from narcissistic abuse from my ex husband and I just finalized the divorce. That’s one dark path I will never take again. He asked my daughter to lunch after the hearing and she declined and told him he mentally abused her for many years and the relationship ended there. I was so proud of her but felt guilty also because I stayed in the relationship far longer than I ever should’ve. Hoping all who suffer are able to heal and I hope you find your happiness.

You are truly the only narcisstic person, that i don’t wish to punch in the face. So yes you are my favorite 😂 In fact your content is probably the main reason why I’m still standing, because i saw a lot of signs and realised i was not going insane, using your advices and techniques, has saved me from so many conflicts.

I shut down my social media, he got remarried recently and is now tagging all my friends pics of this wedding. He thinks it’s hurting…Not!🤣🤣

It's obvious the narcissist hate us for loving them... That's enough for me to shut em out completely...

My ex stole my phone (during a custody exchange) and found some adult text from someone I was dating and sent them to all my friends and family. When I confronted him about it, he said "Whoever did this wants to alienate you so you will have no choice but to depend on them.". Then he admitted to doing it a few days later. So he made his motives very clear.

They will tell you go find someone that makes you happy it's not me. They don't mean a word of it, they want you with them and so they can make you even more miserable than they are! They want you to make them your priority while you're at the bottom of their list of priorities if you even make the list at all.

If you've really discarded the narc...he won't see you at all.

From now on, I’m just gonna start saving anybody I dated in my phone as “toxic ex” so I know not to answer 😂

Lee…after 23 yrs of abuse from him. At the end he took it out on our only son who is disabled. My son begged me to file for Divorce. He tried to destroy us & still is. Going on a two yr fucking divorce. He’s contesting. NO CONTACT FOREVER! Thank u for your truth. It has helped me more with than u will ever know. 💕

"Happiness" in you equals "your winning" to a narc, they will come to snatch that "happiness" with the quickness too!

Even though I blocked him on my social media pages, he worms through and since we broke up, I moved across state and with my sister and her family. I’m going to concerts. I’m going horseback riding on the beach. I am checking things off on my bucket list I post pictures of going out and having dinner. He actually called my girlfriend and said, I see your friend is enjoying her life now. I hope she’s happy it’s killing him even though it’s killing me being away from him I’m doing me I gained 10 pounds because I got so horribly thin. My self-esteem went through the roof and I know it’s killing him to see this.

I feel like after I rejected his sorry ass lil offers to come back around, he finally realized I'm actually happy and happier without him👏😌. I used to have a desire to always let him come back around when I would cut him off. Now I'm numb to it, so it's so easy to keep him tf away 😆 I done had too much time to heal and too much time enjoying my peace after his toxicity ☮

Ooooh. I definitely need to watch this one. This is what I'm scared of because he made comments about showing up a year after I've moved out and doing the whole John Cusack boombox scene outside of my window. I don't want him coming crawling back, or creating drama again, especially when he realizes I'm so much happier now. He was a horrible toxic person who broke me down physically, mentally, and emotionally over almost 12 years. If you love someone you don't destroy who they are, and turn them into a shell of who they used to be when you met. We have lots of friends in common on our social media but I'm too scared to post anything that would show that I'm happy now. I just want him to stay out of my life.

This is golden. It should be a verse in the narcissist bible code. "They brought me back down to the depths of me being unhappy. I got back with my EX and they say I know a place and took me to hell". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

This person is offering real healing advice. I cannot express how much I hope more people find them. Understanding a real narcissistic is healing. And freeing.

Just as I was finishing up this video, my abusive ex started sending me a bunch of photos of us and our pets and vacations. Dang, I got here just in time.

Agree with the 6th sense. My ex called the day after I announced a new girlfriend on social media...thats not a coincidence. I could sense her toxicity through the cellphone as she called from her friends cellphone. Just had one word for her after she presented herself: "goodbye" and next I hung up. Since then I havent heard from her....silence is nice 🙂

2008 started dating. 2015 got tired and left. 2016 gave a chance, the "old person I was trying to get back" came back. (When I was happier) 2017 She got pregnant and Plan B "didn't work." Was hell since then and it got worse, emotionally disconnected then and emotional cheating 2019-2021. Discarded and been single fighting to get my daughter safe from more abuse (multiple types) and manipulation. No More.

My ex plays this game so much that if sabotaging moving on/happiness was an Olympic sport, he'd be dripping in gold.. Congratulated me for going back to college, turns around and decides to drag out our divorce as long as he could to keep me financially linked to him (he makes high 6 figures, I was a sahm with our kids and no income) so I struggled to get financial aid. No alimony until its finalized and no monetary settlement either). 2 weeks after I graduated, signed the papers. Selling my plasma twice a week was preferred over being controlled by him.

All I can do is shake my head... The first half is too long to even speak on but I cut all contact and went on with my life. The business I started while with him started flourishing, my finances were in good condition, and I was just happy and at peace... Here he comes wanting to "make things right" and I fell for it...6 months later, I'm pregnant and have never been more miserable in my life! I could tell he thought I was stuck now bc of the baby coming but I went back into 'no-contact' a few days ago. I was mind-blown that a person would come back JUST to treat me worse than they did before!

Happiness is the cure for healing, the Narcs hate to see you smile when you are gone, you can be broke with no money; they still don't want to see you happy with anyone or anything. Even though I do not see him, people has told him , I am happier without him, and he hates it.

My ex called me last night for the first time in weeks since I broke up with him permanently this time. He’s been so hurt about it. I’ve been the happiest and most productive I’ve ever been in my life and it makes him miserable. He keeps hinting at how sad he is in a way that I used to react to with trying to pry him open and get him to communicate better. But everytime he does it now, I don’t respond or I give a very generic response then say I have to go. We were together on and off for 3 yrs. I told him ”look… I don’t think this is ever going to work. We’ve tried too many times and still have the same issues. I’m not gonna keep wasting my life with you. I’m done.” He tried to manipulate me into staying, so I manipulated him back and pretended to be interested again, then ended it permanently after getting his hopes up. Now I feel like the narcissist lol. But I have no interest in ruining his life the way he ruined mine. I just want him to take care of himself and leave me alone.

Narcs do NOT want to see you happy, period! - Never! ... ever!

I have to admit that hearing you speak triggers me, you remind me of my ex. But, I really appreciate you being here and talking about this stuff. You have given me some great info, thank you.

Many many months ago my ex of 17 mos, (she set me FREE 25 days ago, 9 days NC), sent me a Kenny Chesney song ME & YOU. We made it our song & would dance to it once or twice a week. I would sing the song to her. One verse states Everyday, I need you more and more & the nighttime 2, There's no way I could ever let you go, Even I wanted 2. I rewrote the verse & put it on my Home screen Everyday, I don't want you anymore or the nighttime 2, There's no way I will ever take you back, Even if I wanted to!! It helps alot!!

i gave her 20 years break and she was still ready to take me down 20 years later. so i said bye again this week. so happy to get her out of my life. crossed my boundaries within 5 minutes, and i knew better than to go ahead with her in my life. she made this process easy and pain free.

They'll get pissed and then, like he's discarded her so easiily, so many times before..theyll just shrug it off and go find more supply...or tap in to the supply they were using while with her...until new supply materializes. Might even post a song on youtube, a song about that special girl...lamenting that he is waiting for her to appear...

I allowed the bottom of the barrel, I was epically tried!!! Never experienced anything like this... never again!!!

The goal is to get away and STAY TF AWAY!!! They will never change, Never! You have to keep the power and never give them losers the satisfactions.

Time is not an apology. Exactly. Just because time has passed doesn't mean these people did you right. Doesn't mean things are any less wrong with them. Time will pass anyway.

I’m in a toxic relationship right now, and This has crossed my mind many times! I I leave this situation and meet someone else, and be happy, that my ex will come back and say all the things I wanted to hear… THANK YOU FOR THE HEADS UP!

The way I rebuke that man every single time.

You are right, Lee. My ex narc was always the most hateful to me when I was having a good day.

"My wife shames and blames me a lot, gaslights me, never respects me, doesn't care about my feelings, and often portrays me as a self-centered person."

When a person doesn't heal it's common to get involved with another (not different) hell bringer. It's like they are all on the same team...oh wait, they are!!!🤔☹️🙌😁🙏

When I’d answer the phone happy that he called. He would ask “why are you happy!?”

For all you in this form I want to send love and light and I want you to know that I see you and I see your strength and if nobody acknowledges that I'm telling you I know that it takes zero talent to destroy it takes a very strong person to pick up the pieces of their shattered life and try to make some sense of it it shows that you love and respect yourself and you're not giving up never be ashamed of your experience because whatever anyone did to you that is a reflection of their poor choices it has no bearing on who you are and your value does not diminish because someone else is ignorant of your brilliance you are beautiful you are magnificent keep being loyal to your future and not your past because you're not headed in that direction I love you

I've experienced this on so many levels specifically from family, friends, and exes. If you block them they create fake accounts or contact you through other family members/friends. As soon as they sense happiness you can expect some form of communication... Positive or negative they are thirsty for information and attention and will try to destroy all aspects of your life. You must establish boundaries and protect your peace.

I am so liking your videos. I discarded a narcissist December 2022 and last weekend I went out with a girlfriend and met a new guy and had fun. I put a photo up on social media of me smiling and having fun and my ex suddenly deleted his facebook page, didn't just block me but it did prove that he has been stalking my page since i broke up with him. It is funny because what you said in the chat was so on target with behaviours.

This is Deep Lee. Everything you said is sooo True and I love how you broke it down. Especially when you said they say “I know a place” & they bring you back to Hell🔥 Wheww soo on point! Thanks Lee for all the advice & exposing the Narcissist games that they play.

Holy crap! Now I get it! This is exactly what happened 😳...so, healing and happiness is the way forward ❤️ and I welcome that! I wasn't with anyone just getting back on my feet, but was still emotionally attached to him, and he seemed as if he'd changed or at least cared, and it seemed we were on the same page, but that was a lie. We'd split for a few months. I was working towards getting back on my feet. Now it's been 3 weeks no contact!

I agree. It’s best to break up, block them and move on. Some people will never change. Great video

This is so true it's funny! My narc ex and I dated in our early 20's, then I left to work and live abroad and had a couple of serious long-term relationships. Came back to my home country 17 years later and there he was, the narc ex just waiting to get back in. Did I allow him? Yes! And he took me through hell. Also throughout our relationship, he always kept saying how he's "the only one I ever loved", knowing full well that wasn't true. I'm a very strong individual so he never got to fully break me, that happened after I left him. He still stalks my social media, has people follow me and even some restaurants have been told to look out for me. Anyway, great video!

My ex told me if I ever meet a new man (which I'm seeing now) that it's only going to be short-lived because in his words he said that "I'm pretty so I'll attract men but no man is ever going to stick with me long-term. But nobody's ever going to want to stay . that I'll never keep a man." He really tried to break me down as if I was not worth love.

This keeps happening between two narcissists. When each one posts happiness to poke another one provoking a response. . A true narcissist doesn't follow their strong ex-partners who are real empaths. . A narcissist only follows his former enablers. . If you are not enabling a narcissist, he does not even remember you. . When he saw you stopping enabling his Ego he discarded you once and for all.

That same shit.....all of it happened with my ex ex. She came and tried to talk shit on my new gf, she would try and twist my thoughts on my new gf, she actually ambushed us at my residence when my new gf were coming home one night and barreled in and punched my new gf in the head 5x. We went to the. hospital to get her checked out for mild concussion.....all the things my newer gf went through, I feel terrible in hindsight I feel there are some things I could have tried to do to be a better gf to my newer gf by my ex ex narcissist helped destroy my happiness. It eventually ruined my relationship with her. And now I'm on my healing journey without either of them. I'm finding me again. I'm glad to see and hear that you're self aware of your actions and its good that you have this platform to help inform and educate victims of NPD. It's honestly crazy to think that everything you mentioned, she did. And they really suck you into a trauma bond. It's like from the outside looking in, ppl would be like WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE. And it's like they have you wrapped like a voodoo doll or something under their spell. She actually said to me the one time, and I swear it actually helped and snapped me outta the trauma bond a little. But she literally said, I'm your puppet master and you're my puppet. I was like OH HELL NO. She was purely manipulate and it's a crying shame. But she made her own bed. Karma came back to bite her in the ass. She's living outta her car for the last 5 months. And I could care fucking less!

Someone who I knew and things didn’t work out. I didn’t know he had been stalking me for 7 years I’m so shocked. He was saying how much I grew and how happy I am. I was like happy and married.

Thank you so much. Much respect to you for helping the “other team”. We need it. Blessings to you.

What you do well is show how triggered you the narcissist is by the very idea that someone could be happy without them. Thank you for showing us that.

I love listening to your stories and they're helping me figure how to leave. Thank you! Robyn

Yes everyone ! We must NOT bite the bait ! 💪🏽💯

Lee… I’m new to your channel. I do really applaud you as I know the journey wanting to change or coming to a reality out of narcissism to want to change. I started watching you and it brought reality right in front of my eyes my soon to be ex husband did any and everything you’ve mentioned. It enlightened me and has been helping me move forward as I know his actions are predictable by you educating me. I was able to start moving on and being less confused and falling back into the cycle of this abuse over and over, everytime I let him back in, it only meant the treatment was going to be worst than the last. Thank you! All the best on your continued journey!

I don't let him in but he seeks it out.... Honestly you are a gift sir!!!

Lee, Thank you so much and bless you. You stay on point with awareness you always bring.

i told my ex narcissist boyfriend the night before our last day seeing each other before we moved out that i didn't care if he had anyone lined up and that a lie is a lie and the truth is the truth and walked away. the next day when we said our final goodbyes i told we shouldn't talk anymore. just a few ways i made damn sure he knew he didn't have damn thing on my precious ass. been a week so far and i feel sparkly cleeeaaannnn

Thank you for making those videos. There is many youtubers I have seen, but no one can actually explain it so well as you do. Thanks to you I am starting to understand whats going on in narcs head. You are helping people tremendously by being you and sharing your information.🙏❤

I absolutely enjoy your content! It has taught, and confirmed so much for me! You’re awesome, thanks Lee!!

I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you're willing to share your journey. When I was in a relationship with a Narcissistic person it was a roller coaster of emotions. And it isn't easier when you have to co- parent with one, it was actually impossible. Sad that I blamed myself at the beginning, but I started to observe his actions and "patterns" and realized the issue. To this day I pray for him, but I keep my distance.

This is sooooo true. OMG. Got to the happiest point in my life after our breakup. I thought after 5 years, it was just a coincidence seeing him on my street. Nope.

Lee: "Disrupt your happiness" Me 🤔: ive been posting photos with my kids, at the gym, less angry posts about narcissism lol, more nature photos)travel destinations things that would suggest I'm looking to the future. And here he goes wanting to pay child support for our kids all of a sudden. We broke up six, almost seven months ago. Were together 11 years. Stole my car!! With our kids car seats and pushed me around that night. I haven't seen him since. Blocked him on everything but email.

Hello Lee, thank you for being honest, letting others know about you personal healing as a narcissist. Giving helping advise to the innocent and victims.

Cannot even begin to tell you how insightful you have been on my healing journey. Thank you man. Wish you continued success and healing on your own journey.

Thank you for this, literally just happened to me... Was with him 5 yrs, nothing but hell for me. Finally realized my self worth n kicked him out (actual eviction process bc he wouldn't go on his own) it's been almost a mth n suddenly a wk ago shows up at my door, crying and drunk talking about he needs spiritual help from me, his life is so miserable without me, blah blah. Already knew it was a ploy. Made him leave, 2 days later he's creating drama among my mutual friends bc his initial tactic didn't work. I appreciate your perspective coming from my ex's side of things bc it's funny, he mentioned that he's happy that I seem happy, and wants that for me. I KNEW it was bs... I could hear the low vibes ringing in my ears... Yup I'm happy and he came to disrupt it 🙄

Thank you for being transparent and letting us see transitions

Man Lee….I appreciate your complete honesty even how you operate or operated in the past or present. This is so beneficial for so many people, I truly believe God uses everything! Ty man be blessed🙏🏾🤦🏾✨

Thats so freaking true too! They DO have a sixth sense and DO show thier ugly face as soon as happiness is refound withen!

The first narcissist in my life was my mother and some family members. I decided to shut down all of my social medias. It sucks, but its so much better knowing they dont have access to anything im doing.

Listening to your videos is therapeutic and reinforces my strength to stay away! I love my ex and his children, I even miss some of his sick ways just bc it’s him, however I was tremendously suppressed, depressed and all I did was live to attempt to please him. I never did anything good enough, he constantly had something to say about everything I did and I never felt good enough or valued. I was never myself, literally he has no idea of my actual personality bc I never was comfortable to just be me, as when I did try he didn’t like it. I had anxiety so bad when I’m a relationship with him. I truly appreciate these posts, it’s just a reminder. I need to keep valuing my personal happiness and sanity!!!

Thank you so much for all you do and you have given me strength to close the door

The level of honesty and awareness you have is phenomenal brother 😳 . your videos are definitely interesting and at times humorous 🤣. Great content bruh. Healing through laughing 😁😅😆🤣😭😎