📖 Purchase "A Cult of One": www.amazon.com... 🔴 New Course: Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissism www.richardgra... 🔴 Get your free "Stop Emotional Flashbacks" Course now at www.spartanlife...
@@JSmith00in hindsight my ex also told me *WHO he was while we were perfectly plutonic friends. I didn't listen because I thought he was being hard on himself. He IS truly Evil.
Me too I hear her skiting to friends about how special everyone is treating them Once I told my neighbour sorry I won’t be cooking you dinner every night She quickly replaced me with some other sucker… she stuffed up tho and they came knocking on my door and asked me to give it to her because she was out (socialising ) while this poor person slaved over a hot stove cooking her dinner When I gave it to her (saying how many people have you got cooking for you Karen? I caught her snarling as it wasn’t up to her highness’ standards she threw it straight in the bin saying I’m not eating this crap We can’t comprehend
Me too. When my mom was laughing because I was upset that I was doing something for her, in a really hard situation, because I was such a people pleaser that I was neglecting myself… it just felt like pure evil. She knew she had pulled a fast one on me and by then I was in way too deep. I had to pull myself out of that hole before I could even ask myself, how could a mother do that to her daughter? That was when I realized that she was no longer my mother. I’m fact, it makes me wonder if she ever was.
Narcs know damn well what they are and what they do. They love doing it that's why they have such elaborated games set up that people can't even see in first look.
I saw this quote somewhere: “A narcissist won’t present themselves to you without their mask IN THE EARLY DAYS - because you wouldn’t just sign up for the ride if they didn’t”. So very true!
My narcissistic mother KNEW that she destroyed my mind; she saw my personality change. She knew that she had traumatized me into having amnesia...instead of getting me help, or helping me remember, or showing me compassion, she USED IT AGAINST ME. So bullcrap they don't know what they are doing.
It was when I realized how self aware and intentional he was with his abuse. That was when I had my huge aha moment that there are no excuses and nothing will ever change
Absolutely believe this, from experience with my narcissist ex-husband. He knows he is rotten, but WAS so good at hiding the truth, for a while. A putrid soul.
They choose their moments, raging in private, manipulating outrageously when others aren’t around, and reining it in when in company. They ooze their charm in public. They’re aware all right.
They have a sense of being better than you and therefore give themselves permission for their behavior, there is no respect for you, you are simply a tool they use to make themselves feel better about themselves...they will never change, they may only pretend in order to hoover you back in......it's temporary
They don’t think that untill they are criticized / confronted then they will do anything in that moment to make you think the opposite. A cheap power grab that ultimately fails and looks just sad.
You're normally spot on, but you're over simplifying things, that test doesn't discredit years of extensive research or prove they're fully aware of all their behavior.
They know perfectly well what they are doing. The fact that they hide their actions and deny their words is proof they know, and they know they're wrong.
I knew that they were self aware when I was a very young child. My mother was a sweetheart in public and a slobbering wolf in private. I knew she knew.
Maybe they do not know the term 'narcissist' but they do know they are hurting people. It's a funny thing with them - at one hand they treat their targets as objects/things, but on the other they know perfectly well their targets are people with human emotions (you can't play with someone's emotions if you think they don't have any). There must be some sort of conscious decision and awareness in their minds to treat people as objects.
They know what they're doing & they think it's ok. I grew up in a family that doesn't have much of a conscience. This is just one mild example: Our mother used to drop us off at Sunday school for the free babysitting & our father would pick us up afterward & aim the car for puddles on the side of the road so he could drench pedestrians. If he splashed people, he'd be laughing all the way home. If there weren't any puddles, he was sullen.
Very much agreed! They believe they are entitled to exploit or take from others whatever they damned well wish. They know exactly what they are doing, and they feel special as though normal rules don't apply to them.
My parent went on a typical ' woe is me ' rant on the phone, after beginning w weepiness over nothing but actual life circumstances of aging. " I think I've had my share" ( of age related woes) When i kept suggesting alternative ways of viewing things they finally gave up and said" I guess sympathy is in the dictionary " ! Total change of mental awareness in real time of acknowledgingnot getting what want wanted. Pity seeking often used to butter up the victim(me) , so I might cave in to her next covert demand of attention, most likely in the form of; money
Narcissist or narcissistic people can change, but you can’t change them. Therapist can’t make them change. The therapist can make them more aware their issues, but not going to make them change. Anyone can have a true change has to go through an extraordinary pain. Anyone trying to become a better soul needs to pay off their karma debt no matter how many life times need to take. At one of their life time, when they paid all the karma off, when they have more consciousness, they will have an opportunity to change. But that change will come with an unbelievable pain. This job has be done by our higher source of power, not one human. It is good that these days people started to understand about what we are and what caused us for not finding that happiness, that true love. But we also need our higher power in its work to make people change. Narcissistic people can change, but it is on their own timing. Some takes hundreds of reincarnations to get to that time. Change for a narcissistic or a NPD , is the most horrifying but necessary thing to happen, this person must drop all the ego, layer by layer, go into that deep depression ( or spiritually dark night of the soul), this person will die internally in order to rise up become a new, better person. When a narcissistic person change, don’t expect they will show up as the person you want them to be, to still in your life and loving you. They will learn to love, at that point they know what love really is, but with that much pain for them to go through to other side, most likely they will become very spiritual, very ok to be with themselves. I say all of these because I am that change. I am not a full blown narcissist, I was on a middle scale of narcissistic traits person. Once we truly changed, nothing can affect us, we learned to truly master our own space and energy. I become one of the best healer, my purpose is to heal others .
Narcissistic people changes when they get their karma trough pain ? Is this mean that the victim give them pain and punishment and karma? Aren't they somehow sent to give as Karma and punishment for our past mistakes ? I do not believe that the people pleasers, the empaths and the coodependents are preoccupied with abusing narcissists, giving punishments and causing them Stockholm Syndrom .
@@csibiedit8046 this pain will orchestrate by the higher source/ universe/ god, whatever you called as the name. Not you, not “ victim”, when you go deep into our soul, you will know none of us is victim, we are all here on earth to learn how to love. This “ change a narcissist/ narcissistic person is not the job can be done by any Therapist alone, or can be done by any empath, codependent, or you called “ victim”. You will never wake up a narcissistic person. This wake up pain needs to get done by our universe, the universe works with all energies. When this narcissistic person has cleared most of his/ her karma, the universe knows it’s this person’s time to truly transform. This “ time for change” could take a narcissistic person hundreds or thousands reincarnations to get to that one life time to be the time of change. So don’t live in that fantasy or delusion, thinking you are here is to wait for them to change. You are here is to recognize your own trauma and to heal and to learn the lessons from the suffer you had in your life. Then the universe will orchestrate an event or an experience to hit deep right into this narcissistic person’s soul, there is only that kind of pain from the soul to wake this narcissistic person up, not by your mind game punishments, or some manipulative hurts. I write you back because I don’t want you misunderstand anything I said, if you read my last message, I said very clear that “ you can’t make them change, or even a therapist “. to wasting your life to trying to deliver some kind of pain to a narcissist or narcissistic person, to magically thinking you will make them change. This is our universe or you can call god’s work, This change is totally not your job, you are here on earth is to learn your own lesson, Learn how to get yourself healthy enough so you will never attracted to any narcissistic person again. Learn to live a true loving thriving life. Once you truly healed, you will never find that narcissistic person attractive, you will never find codependent attractive.
A verse in the bible reads that a person's conscience can become seared, so YHWH God turns that person over to his depravity, and the rewards of their depravity visit Their own body. There's a story in the Bible about the prodigal son. And the father gives him his inheritance that the child demands and the child goes off, and lives, a very hedonist lifestyle, then comes to the end of his inheritance and is in poverty and sees that the pigs, at this farm where he's NOW working, that they are eating better than he, so he says In his mind that he's gonna return to his father and beg forgiveness. The point is that some people do come to a type of madness where hubris takes over and they GET a type of BLINDNESS to their OWN behavior... Those people I let them fall until they hit rock bottom, and that's what's needed for them to COME to THEIR Senses.
It isn't as simple as he's making it out to be, they are self aware to an extent, but most of it is subconscious and instinctual in nature... so, not self aware, but if they were it still wouldn't bother them because only one person exists/matters in their world... and that would be them.
Yes for a few more days. But then when you are ready to face this then you will stop giving them ammunition to use against you. This information relieves you of constant disappointment
@@beeman7711 it’s instinctual in nature because they were raised and groomed that way and don’t know any better…until some one teaches them a better or more acceptable appropriate way…after that it’s their choice. They are not robots and they alone are responsible and in control of their own actions and choices as adults. If they choose to be shitty abusive people as adults…that’s on them alone. They need to own their shit and grow up…simple as that 🤷🏻♀️ I refuse to justify or make excuses for their abusive shitty coercive and exploitative behaviour after they have access to education that can teach them healing, and a better way, but choose not to do the work or evolve and grow. They choose to stay sick in the head. 🤷🏻♀️😳 they have options just like every one else who grew up being abused, and I literally can not see any more reasoning or excuses for any of it with the tech we have now. 😳
Of course they know. The one in my house adapts to what ever he has to be to try and get what he wants. Unfortunately for him I now see right through him and he doesn’t get what he wants unless it suit me 😊
They dont know? How come they just abuse you behind closed doors, in private, away from those who grant them supply & admiration? They know how to not expose themselves for what they do while exposing you from the things they did or their lies? They dont know? Lol, they do
Thank you. If they didn't know, why do they save their bad stuff for doing behind closed doors? They KNOW what they do is wrong. That's why it's done secretly. Why they act like angels in public
@recoveringsoul755 It's a fact that a lot of highly narcissistic individuals do treat their "partners" and children, or other people such as shop assistants etc, badly in public though, which I've witnessed and experienced countless times over the years! 🙁
My father was a narcissist, My sister and brother are both narcissistic and I fell in LOVE with a narcissistic man. They know exactly what they are doing and HOW they are treating people. They Believe they are 'better than anybody else. EVIL is the only word to disscribe them. It's a passed on trait.
My life has been destroyed (so far) by two narcissist parents. I have been thinking recently that they may know what they are doing, but perhaps they are not fully aware of the pain they actually cause to others by the things they do. This kind of makes sense to me considering their lack of empathy and their delusional world view that they are unique. Not sure
I know my husband knows what he’s doing. In order to temporarily erase the shame and guilt and to reinforce his delusions he does drugs and drinks which only makes the acts of violence worse hence accumulating more shame and guilt. But when he’s sober he is the most controlling person I’ve ever met. He micromanages me like I’m his personal slave. He’s not sober and not here thank God! He’s not interested in being called out for the nodding out whilst standing and all that.
Something if you love person like this - we just deny until it hurts so much , this sadism stars you in the face and has to be acknowledge. Some people are just sick: love dopamine hit then devalue and hurting and cycle goes on and on on other vicitms
Yes they know they just either justify it or truly believe that what they did was not wrong until someone other than the victim tells them I have seen both types of narcs break down and cry because I have confronted them about their behaviour to their partner only for them to just do the same thing to me and experience their anger when I discarded them. Both types moved on to different friends as if nothing happened and downgraded big time. Edit: they both lost all their friends basically.
You are working over time today Richard. 😉 I hope the air and skies are clear enough for you to enjoy some sunshine, and the long weekend. 🥰 Thank you for your extra time and thoughts ❤️💪🔥☯️🖖☮️🦋
They might know what they're doing (although they'll never acknowledge it) but they're certainly NOT aware they're narcs!!! I don't know a single abuse victim that hasn't been accused [by them] of being a narcissist! LOL!
As a Licensed Mental Health Therapist who has encountered people with NPD. I’m just sharing my two cents... I partially disagree with this video. They do know what they are doing AND it is still a distorted and delusional place. NPD is developed from past trauma. Their entitled delusions are still coming out of a dysfunctional survival. Doesn’t make it okay, but just my professional experience. 💛☀️
How then would you explain why most of us who've been the target of abuse by narcissists choose Never to become abusive? We understand and remember how sad we felt and intentionally choose to Not ever inflict that pain on another. We do not want to hurt others because we have empathy and compassion for others. There is no excuse for those Narcissists who intentionally inflict abuse and pain upon others and perversely seem to enjoy doing so! A majority of the targets of Narcissists were abused as well, leaving them vulnerable targets for selfish and cruel narcissists!
But they do know the difference between right and wrong, good and bad. Do something wrong or bad towards them, like saying no, and they're crystal clear aware. And will plot to get you back for it one day.
I figured out everything he does that he wants to cover up, he just straight out tells me he's not doing it because of the reason he really is. This makes it very easy for me to tell where his mind is.
They instantly change when going out into society from who they are behind closed doors. They abuse their children & often spouse behind closed doors. They become the nicest person to others in public especially those they believe are superior or of high status wonderful. As they do ones with power, position, money, wealth, & lots of material goods and those who enable their monstrous deeds. They treat people they think are below them in status as garbarge too. Horrendous 💔
If a Narcissist can dial it up or down it so that they treat certain people worse than others or better than others then to me that means that they have a sense of awareness and understanding of what it is they are doing and to whom.
The only thing anyone should feel entitled to are honesty and a level of respect that makes a society cohesive. But it's not that way. Still, in ones own orbit, and in the tribe we create, that's what should be expected by everyone from everyone
I wonder if the point of telling people narcissists aren’t aware, is like a caregiving issue. What I mean is that the thought might be, “Well, someone’s got to deal with them. May as well hurl your life under the bus and have you do it.” My thoughts? “Screw you and the narc, if you think so. Their awareness or lack thereof - is not my problem.”
Of course they know what they're doing. Everything they do and say is carefully planned out ahead of time and layed out brick by brick to make sure they get the reaction they're looking for to feed their egos or make themselves look better, or their targets bad. To say everything they do to people is accidental simply says "never had to deal with, or defend myself, or even spend time in the same room with a narcissist "
my mother knows exactly what she is doing. she knows how to behave properly in public and act in manner that looks morally right. but in private she is the opposit and blames her behaviour on things like mental illness so she is not held accountable for her words and actions.
They absolutely are. I advise against it, but if you tell a narcissist that you know who/what they are, they'll immediately go to war against you and right after firing with uncontrollable and quite frightening rage, they'll get on the phone and call everybody that you are x,y,z etc...why? Because they are afraid that people will find out, just like you did, what they are.
They live in dissociation. But they know it (kinda). They are 1: aware that they are bad people. 2: They know what they are doing to others and that it is bad. 3: They do however still dissociate from being bad (somehow). (they are aware they are being bad to people but they think it's justifyed).
I didn't believe my dad doesn't know he is evil as a narssist He just justify his actions with ridiculous excuses Like I'm your dad so i can lie about being a good father He said that i quote
As much as you know Vaknin.. hoping you are not saying that He excuses narcissism this way.. He does not. They know what they are doing, and it gives them some internal relief.. The motives are just different from what everyone thinks.
Yes its because they think they are entitled to treat people badly. They think god gave them the wits to manipulate people so they must do so otherwise they would be denying the precious gift god gave them.
That’s like saying all psychopaths are aware they are psychopaths. Or all people with autism know they are autistic. Some are not that intelligent to know they are narcissists. Lots of people don’t even know what it is or how to identify it. My sister absolutely is an unaware narcissist. No condition of any sort is ever that black and white. We all have a personality type yet very few know what they are.
Yes! Always suggesting if we did this or that everyone else would be jealous. 😮it always confused me & when I called him out on it; he'd deflect or blame me. He also told me I need mental help, he felt sorry for my children, etc. no effing way. I crawled outta that hole with allllllll that I have! I have medical issues because of the congnitive dissonance I needed to survive. I'm not as strong as I thought, I just have a high pain threshold for assholes! What do assholes produce? 💩 🎉 exactly! 😩 🥴 😵💫 😅😂😊❤ I'm renewed & happier than ever since I have cleaned up 🚽
