The New Pinocchio Movie is a Nightmare 

A good mayor AND a good physics guy? What a legend

@@Nitrolord I believe that’s just called… being kurtis conner

Lmao

That diss track went HARD

You

Nice

David the baker

Holy crap, the narrator from EzPz watches Kurtis Conner…?

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4XS84FiFUUw.html Finally it's here.

😂😂😂

Witness: "When can I leave to be on my Ownnn~!"

This is the plot of Batman.

That kid is now Batman so it worked

@@m_gwb 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@@m_gwb I was just gonna say-

He was spitting fire the entire time and didn’t catch *on* fire, hes a real boy and real boys dont lie

Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵

Maybe that's what newborn babies do too

@@blump5080 and we just don't understand it because they haven't learned language yet...

me after a rough night out

@@rolinti9146 💀

​@@blump5080we don't mention babies in this channel

Worst thank-you gift ever

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-BRPTnAu8yYo.html

slay.

The REAL story!

That’s really sad

FR 😂

LOTERALLY LAUGHING SO HARD

@@jaidyn4823 loterally

@@douglasc0unty lootrally

"ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee RDAHHAH!!"

I still don’t know why those were first words to escape my mouth because I felt anything but alive

me when i found out i was trans

@@holeyvoleyvance omg same

Same (im a girl)

oh huh he IS a real boy

The guy that made the Pinocchio comics hated children so much that he tortured Pinocchio in as many ways as he could. Also, I believe the final comic is him being hung and staying dead.

@@winniethepooht5776 I think what I heard was he DID die, but people didn't like that ending/wanted more, so he had to come back to life. I could be misremembering though

@@Tatertottt No you're right! I read the book somewhat recently, he gets hung by the fox and the cat (who are thieves) and that's where the story ended at first. But people wanted more so the writer continued the story. Also the writer did not hate children, it is a cautionary tale about the consequences of being a disobedient child. Pinocchio keeps saying he'll be a good boy, but then he misbehaves and that's what keeps getting him into trouble

Also, that island.

im SO glad i didnt look in the comments beforehand bevause this was the best random song i have ever heard

I've seen so many commentary youtuber raps and... Those may have been some of the hardest bars from a non-rapper i've ever heard lmaoooo

how do i add this fire dis to my playlist

Honestly … that was an extraordinary experience

I saw this before i reached the disstrack and i low-key thought Kurtis edited himself spitting actual fire while in a Pinocchio costume which i would've expected more

Lmao

He said, and I quote: "Are you (Paulie) Shore about this?"

@@uhhhhh2672 ah of course, his classic catch phrase

So they said he should sound more gayer???🤨

Source?

was looking for this! gotta love physics but not as much as breaking the laws and theories

(casey carlisle voice) physics

i remember watching a video though where a group of guys tested this out by attaching a trampoline to a truck and having a guy jump on the trampoline while the truck was driving around and he didn’t misalign with the trampoline he kept landing straight back down into it

@@chanelbt854 I assume the truck was moving in a straight line? If not, there was some trick going on because it's not physically possible to jump and land back in the same place on a truck that's moving in a circle. One of the most important laws in physics is that an object will continue to move at the same speed _and in the same direction_ unless and until it is acted on by a force. If no force acts on it, it keeps going forever. That's a physical fact (and Newton's first law). The result of this is that physicists define acceleration as a change in speed _or_ direction or both. So when the horse runs in a circle, it is technically accelerating because its direction of motion is always changing, even if it runs at the same speed the whole time. At the moment Pinocchio jumps off the horse, he is moving with the same speed and in the same direction as the horse was at the moment he jumped. Ignoring air resistance because it's so small, there is now no force acting on him in a horizontal direction (he's still affected by gravity, of course, but gravity only acts vertically so we don't need to think about it). According to Newton's first law, this lack of horizontal force means he'll continue to move at the same speed and in the same horizontal direction as he did when he jumped. Meanwhile, the horse is still moving and turning in a circle, so their paths separate and Pinocchio can't land back on the horse. I hope that makes sense.

1.1k likes but no comments? How?

lol

Don't forget the raw anger of the "mother fucker" afterword

timestamp?

@@bisexualblueberry26:45

I’m sorry- WHAT

WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHHSDHYHG

HAHAHHAHAH WHAT

HMMM???

Seriously, it was one of the weirdest parts of the movie

what he sounds like is a paulie shore character. that dude plays all his characters like that lmfao definitely one of the most incomprehensible casting choices i've seen in my life

i agree, his comedic timing is impeccable

peak of comedy

that’s funny but what do i nos without an e

a genius....

Pauly Shore is truly a visionary

How and why would you know that, are you an expert on this movie wtf

@@user-himenes possibly... they might be Russian or have access to Russian media? They literally just know there's another dub, why so skeptical are you a cat?

Plus the characters mouth didn’t move- So it really was improved 💀 And the studio was perfectly okay with it

Understandable

Honestly i start cry laughing thinking of this scene lol

Haha same

Then the part when he literally gets capped by a blunderbuss-weilding fat cat screaming Mamma Mia. 10/10

Watching this on 420 on 4/20 = double 💀

literally came here looking for this comment thankyou 😌😭

literally fire

ive rewatched this video a couple times now and that part still takes me a second to get because its so genius. true poetry in our time

“Thank you daddy 😇”

this took me a hot sec when he said it but he’s an evil genius

I need to watch this movie now cause I can’t stop laughing

Dude, he's yelling and stumbling around like a sloppy drunk divorced man. It's hilarious

I started giggling

im sitting in class watching this and i was trying not to snort

I lost my composure at work

id try to dissagree but, what do i nose

@@dogouchu4356 When i tell you i W H E E Z E D

@@asingularsock07 same here man lol

And the diss track is actually fire too😂

“Ska-dee ska-dee ska-deez nuts motherfucker”

Fr same

Hope you have fun in Kurtistown, Greg.

Us KurtisTown civilians welcome our allies, the Greg's, to our humble town. Remember to be nice to our boy Kurt, it's the law! (Sorry that you won't get a extra greeting anymore though,)

@@Doris_LOWHD this was horrifically cringe pls stop

I giggled every time

Spolier

but what do i nose

Its Pavlov's Dog experiment; we laugh at the sound of the twinkle, even if there's no punchline.

reverse pinocchio

Self fulfilling prophecy

Kurt is actually the first ever person I've seen talk about this movie who has acknowledged that English isn't the original language, like every other dude just bashes on the voice acting and pretends like they're the original actors, if the lines sound weird it's because they're dubbed, and that's what every dubbed movie has to go through but since they've never experienced that before they want everything to be perfect, and don't get me wrong, the movie would still be trash even if the dubbing was perfect but these people just act as if they owned everything, it's good to see at least some people still acknowledge the existence of other languages instead of trying to make everything revolve around English.

well this sucks

Well now over 6 million of them have seen it

It’s also kind of messed up to give him life only to immediately tell him “you’re not real. You’re different, in a bad way.”

I like this theory

no he just sounds like this all the time

he unfortunately just sounds like that. watch a goofy movie. it worked for bobby but not with this.

@@Sammyyaam I have been a massive fan of him since the 90s. Lol I know his accent. I still stand by what I said. :P

@@Sammyyaam Goofy Movie was fun. But Encino Man, Bio Dome, and Son In Law are where it's at. :)

love that hooty pfp

thank you💅

The hooty pfp slays 😩

Cut back... like wood...

@@otakuinred But what do I no-

Man really was ready to kill a child on sight

@@sneakysnek572 You would do the same if you were a talking cat with a gun

@@FurNixen shoot a child on sight? 😂

And you know what was right to do so

gun violence among sexy, rotund 19th century cats is a big issue

“I’m a boy and I’m alIIIIIIVVVEEEE-“ always gets me istfg

It sounds like a fan silly dub

I thought he was gonna say he edited that part but no it's fucking real

@@thismustbeisaac fr 😭

I know right??

He's like that bod is fine AF but that mask is a no-go and that's clearly representative of your face underneath

Timestamp?

@@lies1 17:37 !

@@danic4553 thank you!!

@@lies1 ofc!

Why did they add circuses in acrobatics in the movie now I’m going to associate this with psychonauts. Psychonauts is a game about a acrobatic 10 year old from the circus who runs away to become a psychonaut. Someone tell me the name of the song. I don’t think it’s a good idea for all circuses to be like: “ my kid ran away to become a psychonaut, and he made out with a random girl he just met “ Psychonauts is my favorite game series and I don’t want to associate it with this movie

What’s with this guy dunking on millennials for liking Disney stuff in his millennials video (and that dunking is fully justified), but is watching and making videos about Pinocchio? Does he always lack this much self-awareness?

@@anti-ethniccleansing465 this movie wasn’t made by Disney and Pinocchio is not owned by Disney. It’s not that you lack this much self awareness it’s that you lack this much knowledge. Also Mulan, Snow White, Cinderella, and basically vast majority of old Disney movies do not own the concept, only their particular story.

@@41052 That was probably the most hilarious cope I’ve ever seen. Congrats! Lmfao. Everybody knows of Pinocchio because of Disney’s famous cartoon that made the story known by the masses, and caused everyone to associate the story to Disney. Ask anyone on the street, and they will tell you it’s a Disney story. Your sad attempt to use a pedantic argument as an excuse of Kurtis’ lack of self-awareness/hypocrisy is the cringiest thing ever. There’s good reasons why white knights are a laughing stock. They do shit like that.

@Ks Aww, how precious. The white knighting duo that can’t admit to Kurtis’ hypocrisy. Oh, and thanks for the heads up that this is a YT video. You’re a sharp one!

Most "normal" thing in this movie

Nostalgia Critic addressed it

so has cosmonaut picture show. at least it’s in their video

I'm crying and about to pee because of it 😭😭😂💀🤣😭😭

this was the one thing about this movie that made me laugh hard

is it adventures of buratino?

WHY WOULD YOU CURSE ME WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF HORNY WEASEL AGAIN

😂😂

loloolo😂😂😂😂

lmaoo😭😭

I GET THE REFERENCE 😭💙

dave pfp 😳😳😳

i hate that stupid fucking bear

no bc you’re right and i don’t like it

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4XS84FiFUUw.html Finally it's here.

Ikr

like it was actually so fucking good

"Got Bella on my face, gonna start fibbin'" sent me into orbit.

It sounds like something noel would write

Fr holy shit . That was hella dope 😂

I clicked the link and I won one billion dollar! Yay!

exactly :)))))))))

Yeah, him putting a midroll after the cutoff really was genius

i should have realized that kurtis was a master at his craft when he dropped blood related

Ska-dee ska-deez nuts

So fricken good hahahah

right lmao

lyrical mastermind

Put Bella on my face, imma start fibbin'

Thank for like🙂🙂🙂

father, when can i leave to be on my OWNN

@@hexhollows I've got the whole WORLD TO SEEEE

@@fishysc0okielife worldussy**

@@fishysc0okielife skidEE skidEE skidEE

@@hexhollows ive got THE WHOLE worldussy 😩

THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING OF TOO LMAO

The aforementioned fairie

COMPLETELY

all I'm thinking of is Swedish Cher

*Hällo hällo tha puppet people!* 🤣👏

to be fair when i'm high all dialogue sounds like that

Faes will take away your ability to speak because their spaghetti was too cold or something That's the background of a D&D character I've made

@@CygnusTheSilly checks out. Fae are the most spiteful little bastards imaginable.

I thought the exact same thing. Themb pixies are mischievous!

Fae were sort of ancient Gods in Celtic culture And what is the world if not the Gods' own personal game of Sims?

@@jazzspider8569 terrifying phrase, thank you 👍

I stopped the video and fell to my feet laughing. 😂😂😂

@@Toby2017 you fell to your feet??

@@willnotshutup he stopped ascending from the meditative state he entered while watching the video

@@charliehigginson7990 ah, makes sense

this line was used in the movie 'It takes two" 1995

Underrated comment

I thought it was kinda scary. I was petrified.

@@randomslomo1875 naw broo lmao

honestly he should’ve given the ORIGINAL original pinocchio a verse

deadass it was actually rlly good

it's the twink appearance for me

@@elisecode2212 I thought you were referring to me for a hot sec and I was like "I mean you aren't wrong but what-??"

Wordussy

Oh, we all know what you look like, Casper

"I've got the whole worldussy~"

"WELCOME TO ALL THINGS SCO'ISH. IF ISS NOT SCO'ISH... ISS CRAP!" --Mike Myers

Ive seen a few of these and they are usually the ones that deviate the furthest from tbe source material 🤣 its honestly so funny, but they got some balls to declare that "this one is the truest true one to ever truth ever, none of these other ones could bruh"

​@@nany_quinhathat's kind of a joke, it isn't supposed to be taken for granted

@@BLET_55artem55 i know...? I was joking too

LMAO FR

Freaking FIRE 🔥

Scrolling the comments for someone talking about kurt boy spitting 🔥

@@bluebel1857 I know right, same!

I am so mad it's not on spotify so I can repeatedly play it until I get sick of it

@@alaskabane5340 I did find this though. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Hd0-zVeO5OI.html

yes

yes

yes

yes

No.

If you watch it drunk is not that bad ✨ word!

True there were some BARS

skedew skedew sdez nuts- has healed all my ailments

“Get Bella on my face ima start fibbin’ *hey daddy*” HAS ME ROLLLLINGGGGGG

Bars on bars in that diss track

And I can't believe it got 40% on rotten tomatoes

Yeah, I was raised on soviet versions of movies (like buratino, Alice in Wonderand, Winnie the Pooh…). Ive actually never seen the originals. The 1970s Alice is extra weird tho. But I like the artstyle, strangely.

I can't even truly say it's "Russian interpretation", more of a "hey, I heared some cool idea, I want to make something completely different with my own political commentary thrown in". Buratino is a surprisingly deep story tbh, with criticism of police, capitalism, slavery etc So it's kinda like if you read Bible and then make Matrix with some allusions to Christ, you know? XD (exaggerating a bit but still :))

@@oulafursson yeah, that's why I put the parentheses, I wasn't sure what to call it. Either way the plot is so ingrained in our minds that seeing Westerners shocked was an eye-opening experience for sure

The whole time I was wondering why his nose never grew. This now makes sense thank you

Oh so that's why, thank you

💀💀

firewood

LMAO FIREWOOD💀

U JUS SOME DRIFTWOOD

Yeah dude I was impressed

Same

"Stop. Physics police!"

@@bibsp3556 that's a trick the physics cops pull to add a second charge. Remember, "an object in motion will remain in motion." Know your rights.

@@constonks love it lol. Know your rights when breaking the laws of physics. Breaking the lightspeed barrier might seem fun, but did you think to consult your attourney?

Merica 🫡

@@bovinityleak2066true

@@bovinityleak2066 ah yes, pepper

Pinocchio is a real boy ... a real boy in an American high school

@@bovinityleak2066 Russia actually

Thank you, I was searching for this comment. I was midly annoyed that nobody mentioned that

For me it was "get Bella on my face ima start fibbin"

@@shadophaxx2401 That line with the "Thank you, daddy" adlip is pure fucking fire

Just like in the book

yes

Please do

Do it.

do it

bitte!

yeah but if you were up on the _roof_ of a moving train car and you jumped fifteen feet into the air and did a backflip you wouldn't land on the spot you jumped from

@@zubetp hence the air drag. If it was done in a vacuum, then there would be nothing to slow them down

DEADASS I HAD TO REPLAY THE TRACK A FEW TIMES….BARS UNMATCHED

GENUINELY LIKE IF HE PUT OUT MORE RAP OMFG

yall i just realized this comment sounds so backhanded i genuinely thinks he's good but it was just surprising 😭

@@chloedaugherty9567 I thought it sounded genuine bro dw dw 😳don’t overthink

WHAT DO YOU MEAN KIND OF

Oh my gosh, I didn't notice that the first 3 times I listened to it!

ONLY 1 COMMENT WITH 1.5K LIKES WTH

@@HugeRMCFanBoY-bx3od There are comments with more... but still yeah ik✨

Explained the skee dee skee dee skee dee

@@yuki97kiraalso explains the “ALIIIIVVVEEEEEEE I’m a boy and I’m alive!”

i thought he sounded like demoman

​@@i_dunno_man13476 what makes me a good Pinocchio?

@@ashikjaman1940 what?

God I’d pay to watch his review of that

the movie Cats but Rum tum tugger has a gun

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-BRPTnAu8yYo.html

Thx for a all the likes!

RIGHT OMG LIKE HE DIDNT JUST BECOME A TORCH TF????

I searched and apparently oak is the hardest/slowest wood to burn, so maybe he's made out of oak?

@@krisrunedelta ch oak on these nuts lol, fuck this movie

@@anthonyst-onge ?

He is fireproof

as a Russian, i confirm :(

They aren't the cops they're the KGB

@@wildman510 They aren't cops they're the secret police

@@iwantataconow1339 So am I. No, they don't.

@@christinaizmaylova9964 they “don’t” what?