This Nutcracker Knockoff Is a Nightmare 

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I loved this movie as a kid. My mom eventually started telling me it didn’t exist anymore so she wouldn’t have to see it.

For me, Barbie in the Nutcracker will always be the superior adaptation.

Poor sweet Danny. Unaware of how scary burning toys is… in a world where an evil rat queen curses people to be toys.

Danny: *watches a ballet* Danny: theres really not much there...Most of it is dancing

This movie has it all. Nathan Lane as Albert Einstein. Child labor. Dancing Nazi rats. Christmas. Thank you, Danny, for once again bringing us the height of cinema.

The thing about the Nutcracker ballet is that it’s not really a serious, story driven, musically or choreographically extravagant show. It’s a show that was created so that very, very young dancers could get experience dancing onstage with adults, and see what it was like to dance in a real ballet in front of an audience. That’s why there are sort of different age groups that have different roles. As you age in a ballet company, the roles you can land in the Nutcracker become more and more technically complex. That’s also why Mary and the Nutcracker do the least dancing, especially as main characters.

22:23 This absolutely KILLED me. I don't know whats funnier the Rat King's design, his dance moves, the fact that he just spawned a whole ass band so he could have a little diva moment, or the rat guards who are just absolutely vibing

as a ballerina who has danced in the nutcracker every year since i was 3, i didn’t know i needed ballet commentary from danny gonzalez until now also-ballet plots are kind of famously thin, as they have to mostly make up reasons for dancing to be happening. that’s why the second act of the nutcracker is only “everyone dances for clara”, because that’s when there’s room for a bunch of dances that don’t need to involve plot. it seems like a weird thing about ballet to non-dancers but the structures have existed for hundreds of years and for me, the odd plots and storylines are just more reasons for why i love the art form :)

I would just like to point out that Danny’s little nutcracker guy is not even a nutcracker. It’s a toy soldier.

little danny just sitting there with his huge top hat while someone is constantly yelling out his name and he’s just completely ignoring them is so awesome

The fact that the movie came out of nowhere, looked like the most expensive movie ever made, left no impact on pop culture, only adds to the strangeness of the whole ordeal

“Everything is relative” is an argument in ethics that’ll get you laughed out of a room.

Fun fact: Tchaikovsky, who wrote the ballet, absolutely hated The Nutcracker. He wrote it for the money and called it a "confection", and it made him crazy that it was the most famous thing he'd written.

As someone who's worked in customer service, I would have loved the power to whisper "I don't know" as I slowly dissipate.

“I really hope they haven’t found the victims yet” look in the nutcracker’s eyes 💀 Danny nailed it with that description

This movie has a weirdly stacked cast

As someone born in the 1800s, i can confirm our parents made us do a dance sequence before opening our presents.

What makes the "burning toys" part even worse is the fact that it is specified over and over, that the toys are alive. So they're burning people alive, while an insulting dance number takes place where the rat king throws toys into the fire, and takes black and white photos of all the crying children.

You know your Nutcracker adaptation is messed up when it feels more like an Ari Aster film than the Nutcracker.

Not enough people are talking about the weirdly stacked cast in this movie. Like, I recognized 90% of the main actors, a bunch of them are pretty well-known character actors. As far as weird shitty movies Danny watches, this one being competently made, with legit actors and relatively good production is such a bizarre change of pace

It's not just me right? Those Ratzis burning "toys" is supposed to be the cremation chambers, right?

danny is like "yeah he's obviously rat hitler" but then he's like "why is burning toys bad" let's put 2 and 2 together

"I don't know" and then vanishing has to be the funniest thing I have ever seen

WE NEED TO BRING BACK "THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW" I MISS GETTING IT STUCK IN MY HEAD

It’s so funny to imagine Danny watching the actual ballet (which usually has absolutely zero narration or voices) and being in the audience extremely confused about why they aren’t talking

danny for years: "everyone always calls my toy soldier guy a nutcracker, but he's not, he's a toy solider" danny now: "FINE WHATEVER"

Funnily enough, for almost his entire life prior to WWII (which it looks like this movie takes place a little before WWII), Einstein was just a guy who thought about physics really hard and worked at a patent office. In fact, my astronomy professor once gave a lecture about Einstein and he described this portion of his life as a relentless pursuit of the Nobel Prize for the express purpose of two things: 1. Advancing science and gaining clout/money 2. Divorcing his wife so he could marry his cousin Prior to his winning of the Nobel Prize, Einstein’s wife made him promise to split the prize money with her when they would eventually get divorced TLDR: at his historical time, Einstein was on a multi year long journey to divorce his wife and marry his cousin and this was just a side quest

I like how they pick a random character from history who did not celebrate Christmas.

I can’t believe someone would rip off a nutcracker, as we all know Danny Gonzalez is the creator of all nutcrackers.

Fun fact: This movie was funded by literal Russian state and was the most expensive Russian movie to date.

This nutcracker feels like some kind of FNAF terror

The Nutcracker from Lethal Company basically: 3:39 “This guy might look like he’s all fun and games but he- He’ll kill a man, no questions asked.”.

The whole part about the sky being gray because they were burning the toys is like on a whole different level of disturbing and dark. Since in the “other world” the toys are real people just like the nutcracker is, and them burning the toys, is literally just them burning people.

I have to say as someone who performed in the nutcracker ballet for years as a child, Danny Gonzales liveblogging it from the perspective of a 20s year old comedian who has absolutely no idea what the plot is about was a level of entertainment I was not expecting to experience

Man, I remember watching The Nutcracker back in elementary school music class. The nostalgia.

a while ago my dad and I went to a nutcracker play since its one of my favorites, and in that one the people on the stage brutally murder the rat king. After they attack the rat king he falls to the floor and two of the solders from the battle start kicking him back and forth while hes rolling on the floor until he stops moving, and then they drag him away, and later when there celebrating the death of the rat king, one guy brings out the rat kings head that has long red and yellow ribbons hanging down from it onto the stage and parades around hoisting it up on a stick while little children are dancing around him. honestly, it was one of the best plays of the nutcracker I've ever been to.

Crazy how Danny went the mpreg route with "Did Albert Einstein have a brother who gave birth to dolls?" instead of assuming it could've been a sister 💀

That fading away and “I don’t know” actually made me burst out laughing 😂

using the “FINALLY !!!” line again made me unreasonably happy-

4:25 actually automatons were losing style in the 1800s because they grew to be something that wasn’t exclusively for the wealthy; they used to be highly sought after because of the exclusivity of automata; moreover, the French Revolution ignited a purge of automata, as it represented gross misdirection of funds to expensive and honestly useless entertainment.

Danny not knowing the nutcracker was a ballet with no words is probably the most entertaining part of this video Edit: I wasn’t trying to be backhanded😭 I’m sorry if it came off that way

As a ballet dancer, I would like to set the record straight on the true story lmao: -Normal Nutcrackers have no voice-overs or signing or talking, just dance -In most modern renditions the main character is Clara, but in the original that was made in Germany the character was Marie, not Mary -The little boy who breaks the Nutcracker is her brother Fritz, who is jealous that their godfather gave the doll to Clara -The little boy is his assistant -They are mice, not rats -He is not in charge of the mice, but he is responsible for shrinking Clara (Marie) (She shrinks that's why the mice are huge) -No freaking idea why his assistant becomes the Nutcracker (only some renditions view Clara's love interest as the Nutcracker) -I am not sure if you cut this part out but the reason the Nutcracker takes Clara is because in most versions she throws her shoe at the Mouse King's head, helping the Nutcracker defeat him, so it is her reward and she is an honored guest -The Sugar Plum Fairy is the queen of the Land of the Sugar Plum Fairy and all the dances performed are to honor Clara for defeating the mouse king, who was the Land of the Sugar Plum Faries enemy -It was in fact Dosseylmeyer who sent her there because he is her spooky godfather I appreciate your enthusiasm so much and I do love your personal rendition of it though, it made me laugh a lot, so thank you so much! Edit: After finishing the video it appears that most of the misinformation came from that freaky movie Danny watched next, so I blame that movie haha

danny complaining about how theres too much dancing in a ballet is so funny

danny: he just unhinges his entire jaw-- me, clicking away from what i'm drawing: well surely it can't be that baAAAAAaAAAaAOH. oh wow

“Boys, love horses, girls, love cracking nuts” is honestly my favorite quote I’ve ever ever heard from a living human being

Danny is not only a father of a child now, of course also has a nutcracker to take care of

As a ballet dancer myself, and someone who has been involved in Nutcracker chaos for YEARS, it always shocks me to realize some people don’t associate it with ballet😭

I’m so so glad you brought back the “FINALLY” bit, that shit was hilarious

I can't get over the scene where the fairy just fades away saying "i don't know." Could you imagine if someone was dying and you asked your friend to help and they just left

I am ashamed of danny for not calling them ratzis

NC is comparable to Alvin Flang/Prince from Love on a Leash and I think that's beautiful

Hearing Danny Gonzalez review one of my favorite childhood ballets is one of the best Christmas gifts I never knew I needed, but always wanted 😂

Love how NC keeps telling Mary "You did it" after she did absolutely nothing.

The "actual nutcracker" is a book. It's a story by ETA Hoffmann, master of German "Black Romantic". It's 100% worth a read and is one of those stories that could traumatize you as a young child. But, you know - in a good way. Tons of other stuff Hoffman wrote is worth reading, too, I highly recommend "The Sandman". Edit: The very point of the nutcracker was meant to be that he was hideous and not as pretty as other dolls, and the little girl took pity on him and her brother made fun of her for that and broke his jaw (accidentally, by being careless). She gave him a bandage, so the nutcracker became devoted to her.

The music in this movie feels like watching someone add lyrics to a video games OST but they've never played the game once and are going off the fan content

2:01 them screaming danny while he ignores them and plays is the cutest thing i’ve watched

I love how what started as a quirky and unconventional Nutcracker adaption quickly spiraled into an existential nightmare that only left Danny with more questions than answers about the original tale.

saying "hmm it feels like I'm being followed, let me check" turning around and looking for about 2 seconds and turning back around and saying "nope we aren't being followed" is actually hilarious

I cannot express enough how much I love Danny & his videos. Endless respect for letting his family have their privacy, but still being open & himself. & I seriously am so grateful that he's uploading with the same style & vibe, & didn't end up going insane after starting a family. He just seems like a really awesome person🧡🧡

Them calling him NC is extra funny when you imagine a room full of writers trying to decide how they can shorten the name "Nutcracker" and being like "What about Nut...? Definitely not. Cracker- Nope!"

I’m gonna be honest, the only version of the nutcracker I have ever seen was “Barbie in the Nutcracker”. And so therefore it is my favourite and the only valid adaptation ever made.

Love the fact that the air up water bottle is shaped like the kind you attach to hamster cages, makes me want to tape one to my wall and return to simpler times

I was literally scarred as a child by this film! To all the people who had horrific nightmares of the rat king as a kid, just know you are not alone😭

I genuinely love ballet and have watched multiple performances of the Nutcracker just for the amazing music and variations but my favorite version will always be the Barbie one that introduced me to it as a kid and I need Danny to watch it

That scene where the fairy says "I don't know" and vanishes into mist had me laughing so hard that I started sobbing.

I could not take it with the dad’s reaction to the pebble I was laughing so hard. The blank stare, the trembling hands. The concerned look from his wife. Like what could this rock have possibly done to you?? Why do they never talk about it again??

Holy Crap when Einstien started singing a song about relativity I actually died.

How is this the first time it occurred to me that nutcrackers are made to crack nuts?!😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅

I don't appreciate how they insisted on making the Nutcracker her love interest when they also made every decision that made him an actual nightmare

I grew up on the best version of this movie; Barbie, the Nutcracker. I watch it every year. Last year I went to see the actual ballet for the first time and was so confused that the rats were defeated in like five minutes at the beginning, then it was just a giant dance party for the last hour. I was expecting more plot and action

im just wondering if theres some kid who learned about the nazis in school and thought "wait... this is just like what happened in The Nutcracker"

“Oh great… more music” man just summed up every kid’s movie ever

This has unlocked a Hazey horrifying memory of having a vague fever and laying down on my grandma’s couch while watching this. The rats made me cry so hard I threw up. Thank you for awakening that within me, Danny.

I get not being super into ballet (me neither) but the idea of watching a ballet and saying “Weird that he just stopped writing the story to throw in a bunch of dancing” is extremely funny to me it’s like watching a musical and saying “Weird that they stopped writing this conversation just to throw in a bunch of singing.”

21:53 gives me a very,…errr….incredibles vibe

"The nutcracker is... _Moaning Myrtle?"_

as a classical musician, seeing Danny react to the actual ballet for the first time is SO FUNNY to me

Danny sure does love cracking down on some nuts

7:19 bro really said the "writers sorta decided" while watching a 100 year old ballet 💀💀💀

14:23 you know, I'm from a country we're the story of The Nutcracker is not very popular, i have NEVER ever heard nothing related to the nutcracker beyond one single melody that until today I learn it's from hear, except, ONE vage memory from a movie i remember seeing ONCE in what one could call my country's version of PBS KIDS, in this minute and second I release, is THIS movie (Idk if I wrote that right english is not my frist language)

I’m Jewish, and the fascist rats are horrifying, but it was so funny to see Richard E Grant, Nathan Lane, and Elle Fanning not caring

Hiring Albert Einstein as a babysitter is the most hilarious flex I've ever seen.

14:11 had me dead

My blood runs cold at the sight of Danny's nutcracker as a real boy

In all the versions of the nutcracker I've seen, Drosselmeyer has a clown/assistant guy with him not a child. I've always loved the energy of just showing up to a family event with your clown friend who doesn't break character the entire time.

Now that Danny is a father, I cant wait to see the kind of movies he will show to his child. Ratatoing and Whats Up will be the starters

7:21 Danny, if you ever go to see the ballet, there’s actually no narration at all lol, it’s just the dancing. Just played it last Christmas for the first time

I love how he seamlessly transitioned/transfered the conversation to his sponsor air-up all of sudden

Danny, I'm gonna be honest. The moment the doll turned into a tiny danny with makeup I shat myself, that's one of the scariest things I've seen on your channel. I loved it though.

As a Jewish person I cannot begin to describe the reaction I had when they turned the rats into actual nazis. At first I was just a little uncomfortable that they decided to put Albert Einstien--a Jeiwsh man--in a Christmas movie, but I had no idea where this was going. Literally who let this happen this is so insane

Ok but you gotta admit the “hmm, we are not being followed” is fucking hilarious

I’ve been in ballet since I was four years old, and any time I hear any song from the nutcracker. I have severe flashbacks, and my body automatically moves

I remember this nightmare fuel. On one hand it’s about how the mind of a child might process and conceptualize the atrocities of WWII and the holocaust and on the other it’s about a freaky little wooden guy and nazi rats.

As a former ballet dancer of over 10 years, who performed the ballet every December for years, and now very much miss that experience, Danny's reaction to a ballet being....a ballet is the funniest thing to me. Like yes Danny, it is a showcase of the dancers, the plot is hardly important in a ballet if I'm being fr

this movie inexplicably has a very stacked cast

My teacher made us watch the first movie and the only thing I remember is the freakishly long intro and how cold the desk was when I fell asleep

What’s funny to me is that Danny’s explanation of the third grade production from memory is almost the entire “plot” of the nutcracker Also now I know why Danny calls Clara “Mary” but why did they change Clara’s name?

You have no idea how much I died of laughter at 25:04. “He misses his pebble.”

The way my jaw dropped when it first showed the rat solders💀