I hate this analogy because it implies both are equally difficult. It's way easier to purify dirty water than to get any water out of a desert. A girl might be frustrated about trying to find 1 nice guy out of 10, but the guy just has to settle with whatever girl he finds, or risk finding nothing at all.
@@danielpeirson3938no the analogy implies both are equally difficult. Imo a more apt analogy would be for men its like trying to find an oasis in a desert, but for women its choosing the best flavor of dasani, yea you might pick the lemon flavor and later realize you dont like the bitterness but the guy has nothing, hed drink chernobyl sludge if offered.
@@danielpeirson3938 I mean yeah I guess, but people never frame it that way, they use it to say "see? Both groups have it bad" while ignoring that it's significantly worse for one group
This is how I find out The Crimson Blur had a life glowup. Bro has a bigger house than me, fucks more than me, and has more free time than me. Maybe the secret to happiness this whole time was being the worst Marth player to ever touch a controller.
Girls writing height requirements on their profile is my biggest ick and im 6'4... Guys might like big boobs but Ive never heard of guys writing cup requirements on their dating profiles.
Yeah but if guys had 500 matches/day to sort through they would almost certainly start writing stuff like that. It’s not because they are morally superior it’s just an issue of opportunity.
Guys do that all the time. They want a particular type of woman, with a certain hair color, certain eye color, can't be one pound overweight, have to be of a certain race, must be an 8 or above, etc. Which..cool, I guess, but we shouldn't act like men don't have strict, sometimes insane requirements for the type of woman they want.
"I know we make fun of them all the time and women don't want them but I didn't know short men had strong feeling about this" was a wild train of thought
I just want to experience love. It's fucking bleak out there. In my several years on dating apps, I've gotten one date (who ghosted me immediately after). It just makes you feel undesirable. Getting my first relationship legit feels like the kind of impossible pipe dream homeownership or a successful presidential campaign are. The most I can be thankful for is having enough awareness to not become some red-pilled incel loser. Instead, I'm just depressed :D
As someone who has had no luck on dating apps, I've felt much better after deleting all the apps and focusing on friendships and hobbies. Dating is much easier when you can meet people through friends since there are fewer barriers. Not that I've had luck on that front yet lol, but I've been much happier regardless.
The way people choose to represent themselves on dating apps is almost always terrible and disingenuous, so it is very hard to figure out if you'll actually like someone based on their profile. I'm currently dating someone I really like after almost 3 years of unsuccessful slog, and we matched by miracle. She like one of my pictures and almost nothing else on my profile, and I liked one of her pictures and almost nothing else on her profile. I thought her opener was weird as hell, and she said she wasn't really into me at first, she just wanted to ask what my job was. The fact that we started talking in the first place is insanely lucky. Meanwhile all the people whose profiles have really excited me have ended up as boring, incompatible, or straight up insane. I think representation of yourself is a huge issue, people are bad at marketing themselves to the people they are actually compatible with.
Totally agree! And this doesn't even mention how many people (idk how many women do this but matching with men) don't even have a bio. Even if they are attractive it's an instant no. Don't understand their goal unless it's purely sexual. But as someone who is ideally looking for a casual fwb and not a relationship, I still want to like the personality of the person offering dick 😂
exactly. even if the intention is pure, people dont know what they appear like on the outside to others. AND people generally dont know what they (really) want in others. multiple multiple barriers. if everybody was a little more tolerant and we'd all be much happier
@@037_ Approaching in the wild, basically how men connected with women before the digital age. We see a lady we like without any sound plan, approach her and try to pique her interest with whatever comes to mind. To me it's an efficient method for me because women operate on feelings and what's happening within the moment so overthinking on what to say to a woman is actually a detriment to the approach. It's not 100% efficient (but then again what is?) but it's a lot more worthwhile and fulfilling than this dating app nonsense nowadays.
To be honest, I feel like it's fine to have preferences when it comes to dating but saying that you would never date someone due to a physical attribute that they can't control is a bit toxic.
I agree the 6 foot argument is acceptable if the girl is 5'7 5'8 foot tall because they are tall but to not want to date someone because they bellow 6 foot and they like 5'2 is a lil dumb but tbh they can do what they want there's plenty of girls out there I would just tell people to meet girls in real life
@@LinesweeperPreferences are not the same as rules. Refusing to date someone because they don't meet a statistical requirement for you isn't a preference.
I think those Tinder stats are fucked up but also fucking funny. They have gameified dating and it's as if you have a K/D/A. If LoL KDA makes people mad imagine what dating KDA makes with people.
The only time i was successful on tinder is from swiping yes on a girl i knew from high school (i was out of high school for like 6 years at that point) that in all honesty, i wasnt even that into her. I was just so desperate for human connection that even tho i didn't want to date her, i gave it a shot. There was no second date, and after that, i became hopeless and just gave up on the idea of ever being in a relationship with anyone. That was 2 years ago, and i haven't touched a dating app since. Im still lonely.
Damn from the way these types of comments usually turn out I was expecting a "and she's my wife now" but this is probably a more common experience. I really feel for you dude as one of those people who's never had a date off of one of those dreadful apps.
Men should start doing everything to create an attractive social media Prescence for themselves. I am 6'2 and listed I made 80k a year on dating apps, and got nowhere for 2 years until I created a TikTok and showed I can be hilarious... Met another woman who does TikTok close to me as well who finds me hilarious and now we have been dating 5 months. The woman I am dating probably would sitll be dating me even if I listed myself as 5'9. No way to know for sure, but I do believe that
4:05 this whole point, the difference is that, guys usually don't (shouldn't) point out that they usually like women with bigger boobs or ass and want to move on, but in this circumstance the woman is basically saying that same thing, just with height instead. and yea, height isnt necessarily overtly sexual like the other 2 things mentioned, but they're uncontrollable genetic traits. of course we all have genetic preferences but you don't have to say it out loud, you can just politely say you're not interested. tldr: women say it out loud, men usually don't (shouldn't), that's the difference. just say you're not interested instead of pointing out uncontrollable flaws
Flip it and you see how ridiculous it is. "Hey, just wondering what your cup size was? It's kind of hard to tell from your photos. C ? I have a preference for D cups and up. Sorry and good luck finding your soul mate!" "Why am I getting called rude names by all these women??"
I think the difference is that a guy can hide their height but women can't really hide their weight. I do agree though that the short dude hate is more culturally accepted in general, but I get asking the question on dating apps.
I'd rather meet one decent person irl (not even necessarily romantically), than spend a year going through the online dating experience. If you're hot and like having casual sex then go for it, but romance isn't worth actively pursuing imo. I just wanna have decent relationships with people I care about and online dating is pretty much the antithesis of that.
Approaching out on the field is the best because you are introducing yourself to a woman as yourself. No charades, no foolery, no pretending to be someone you're not, just you and your vibe and see where it goes from there.
My experience with height is, that i am a 5'11 dude, getting rejected by a 5'1 girl for not being 6'0 at minimum (I'm from the eu, so the heights may be wrong, but you get the point). It seems like there has been set a standard for what a tall guy is, which is seen as the minimum for attractive height instead of it being he has to be taller than me. Most guys i know doesn't really care about height, breast size and so on, but of course has preferences, while it seems like relatively many of my girl friends over the years has changed from it would be nice if he is a lot taller than me to it being a must. It seems like this change has developed with social media, as the change has correlated with the amount of videos saying "anything under 6 feet is a short guy and not good enough". I am not the most atractive guy, really bad at the "rizz" but don't feel insecure about my height (yet). I get people have personal preferences. I also get that the caveman brain of guys like smaller girls as it perceives them as easier to protect and in the need of protection. While the caveman woman brain likes taller dudes as it perceives them as better to protect them. What has started to annoy me personally about it is, that it feels like a hive mind social media preference instead of a personal one, and that social media is trying to force me to feel inadequate for not being above normal 6 feet tall. I don't condone getting mad, saying slurs and so on for people having a preference and we can all agree on that isn't okay to do. But as a pretty average height male often seeing or hearing i'm not tall enough on online dating and social media, i get why some has started to feel really bad about being turned down for their height. As a last note. I know most females don't care that much about a certain hight, and i don't want to sound to much like an incel thinking all woman are bad, don't deserve to have prefrences and so on. It's more a criteque of the few and how social media and online dating has turned prefenreces into musts
Now just imagine taking the 5'1 woman out, putting in serious effort, being thoughtful, engaging, investing time and money, thinking you're heading in the right direction and on the third date she tells you it isn't going to work out because you are only 5'11. In my case it was 4'11 and 5'9. Imagine that feeling. Imagine how long it takes for you to get over those trust issues of trying to invest in someone again. That's what its like out here now. The first message isn't even a "hey" its a fucking stat check on your height. Essentially a genetic handicap for most. The instant gratification people can receive with this window shopping mentality behind dating has royally fucked everything and even if you do find someone, they can wake up and find a replacement in seconds, with someone who can be hundreds of miles away. I gave up on the idea that me investing into someone was worth it real early in life, which was a sad realization but its the smart decision. If I were to tell you, you have a 44.6% chance to get hit by a car, would you still go outside? With divorce rates sky high the last thing I wanted to do was pour everything into someone I cared about just for them to have a higher than average chance at leaving me and taking things I worked hard to get. Just to get thrown back into this shit dating pool again. No thanks.
I would've laughed at that chick and told her "You wouldn't even know what to do with a 6'0 dude. Don't go chasing waterfalls little girl, stick to the rivers and lakes you're used to." just to playfully rile her up. No need to even get made or take the rejection personally. Some responses such as hers deserve to be made fun of.
@@kenonerboy A backwards society where incels are shamed while simps are praised, even though the reality is that they're both losers in the dating field with one demographic having pent up frustration with women while the other puts women on so high of a pedestal, it's too big for them to reach up to, leaving the object of their affection bored and uninterested.
Totally agree that no one is entitled to sex. But our culture has to hold that in tension with the opposing belief that sex is core to one's identity. If you're not having sex, it's not just the fact that you're a loser and "have no rizz." It means you don't get to participate in sexual expression. I wonder if sex is so much easier to have in gay communities because there's a shared understanding that their sexuality is who they are, it's core to what makes them themselves. Engaging in sex is essential to validating one's identity as a member of that community. Straight people are still hearing that narrative that sex is core to identity, but for various reasons, sex is a lot harder to come by--particularly, as the data in the video shows, for men who aren't in the top tiers of attractive. When that kind of dude hears "You're not entitled to sex, quit whining" in a sense that's also communicating the message "You're not entitled to identity, you're less of a person and less a member of society." Disclaimer: I'm a married dude and haven't been on dating apps in like 3 years. Might be off but I'd be interested in hearing other thoughts.
Bro I ain’t even thinking about sex, my pipe dream is to kiss a girl once, because that’s what every movie growing up told me is what you get at rhe end of a successful character arc. Until then, it feels like I’m eternally in the intro scene, establishing more flaws I’ll have to somehow overcome in a later arc Again, I’m not entitled to have anyone care about me. But forget sexual identity, how am I supposed to feel like I have any societal identity when it feels impossible to get someone to even acknowledge me other than fellow depressed lonely men? And yeah, it is whining. I don’t blame women, cause what are they supposed to do about it? I just wish our culture hadn’t lead me to expect that I would find romantic companionship in any form, let alone sex
@@diegotejada55 Relatable. I didn't have my first kiss till my senior year in college. It was something I idolized big time. Even after I got it, I felt pretty empty inside. Not to offer unsolicited advice, just to share my own experience: I didn't feel loved (or even lovable) until I got plugged into a church community and grew my faith. That changed everything for me. Beat away the loneliness with some genuine friends and taught me to root my value in who God sees me as, not who the rest of the world so often ignores.
From my perspective as a trans woman from South Africa (Where the "Meta" isn't that bad yet tbh) the best way to get that form of identity is through a long term committed relationship. I've been on both sides of the dating experience. I was on the apps for a long time, but I was a non photogenic virgin and had really bad acne, it never went anywhere. I go to one party that I was reluctant to go to and I have a genuine human experience with a girl and we started dating. I just genuinely listened to her and didn't expect a relationship. We dated for 2 and a half years and went our separate ways on good terms when I decided to transition. Since then I've had many more sexual experiences, mostly threesomes with couples, but it was never fulfilling. I am now waiting for a long term situation before any sex. Also on hormones what I desire has now changed significantly, above all I want human connection and intelligence, most of my crushes have been on short overweight guys who are amazing support structures and genuinely intelligent.
Yeah, guys are deeply insecure about their height, but it’s not really just a guy thing. There are plenty of women I know who are also insecure about having small boobs or being too thin. Your friend thinks it’s a problem that people get angry when she tells them about her height preference, but I’m pretty sure if I talked to a thin girl and told her I didn’t like her cuz she had no boobs, she would be mad and defensive too. Not to be harsh, but your friend isn’t entitled to a more mature response, and she should find more polite ways to reject people
also the fact that less that 4% of men are over 6'2 while about 90% of women are 5'8 or under and men don't actually have unrealistic chest size preferences
Insecure men are way more likely to be immature and not ready for relationships at all. I've learned that having as many preferences as possible actually makes the process of finding someone decent way smoother. At the end of the day, we want adults, and we're not supposed to be expected to nurse or walk on eggshells around anyone's insecurities.
@toxiheh876 ok having preferences is cool and all, but that’s not at all the issue being discussed here. The person being discussed here uses dating sites. If she had preferences, and some guy doesn’t meet her preferences, why is she even agreeing to go on a date with said person? The whole point of dating apps is that you can mention something like height on your profile so that you don’t end up roasting someone about it to their face. You can dress it up however you want, but it sounds like the woman atrioc is talking about decided to go on the date with a person she wasn’t attracted to just so she could roast him about his height to his face. There’s no world in which that isn’t a douchebag move
Also, I think you’re being kinda misandrist if you think insecure guys are the only problem. There are plenty of women in the world who you also have to walk in eggshells around, I was just making a point about how I think there’s a double standard in what men and women are allowed to say about each other’s uncontrollable physical traits
I think the reason a lot of short guys get mad at the whole “Women only want tall men” it’s because they have only seen and met the extreme kind. The people who would never compromise, the women that ridicule short men, the women that want a dude that’s extremely above their height, that kind. So they associate any girl with that preference into that extreme kind and lash out as a result. It really is a shame.
I think it's more that almost none will compromise because they can so easily get a tall guy, and it's just very or of your control. Atrioc's point is bad, there are very few men that only date women when they have large breasts.
@@GEM4sta I mean, there are lot of men who won't date a flat chested woman. The more clear cut example would be men being unwilling to date taller women. Maybe it's different in the west but in the east if you are tall, you aint getting any dates home girl
@@GEM4sta his point wasn’t that men only date women if they have big breasts, it’s just that similarly to height, a lot of people have that preference.
@@thecluckster3908 it's not weird to have preferences, it IS weird to say "how tall are you? I only date guys that are above 5'8"" just like it would be weird to say that for cup size or weight or whatever. Those judgements are internal, it's not at all weird to get backlash if you say them out loud lol
14.5% of men are 6' or over, 3.9 percent are 6’2 or taller, for comparison only about 1% of women are 6'. If your imaginary requirement removes 85.5% or more than 95% of the male population then I'm not sure what were even doing anymore. Also the data is very clear men don't mind smaller chests, infact men and women have almost identical chest size preferences. (since that's in the comments a lot) I have no dog in this race but all the false equivalencies and lack a of understanding how ridiculous this height preference thing has gotten is concerning to me.
Trying to get a date out of a tinder girl is harder than medical school. You will have the most pleasant conversation ever, then you transition it into trying to meet up and they either accept your proposal (always ask with an already prepared date idea) and cancel last minute, or ghost you the second you ask. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong 😔
I finally quit the app because I had three conversations in a row where I thought I was vibing hard and we were planning something and they ghosted me with no explanation. Without any feedback, even if it’s rude or unfair, what the hell are people supposed to do other than give up
12:36 PREACH. Recently I went on three dates with this girl back in Januray, and it was going fairly well as far as I could tell. Then after the first week of February I noticed her energy kinda fell off a lot. She wasn't texting first as much anymore and was being pretty vague when I'd ask about when we could hang out again. After another week or so I just decide to stop watering the plant and wait for her to hit me up again if she was still interested, and so far she hasn't. Idk if there was any long-term potential, but I don't think it's crazy to expect a simple "hey, I enjoyed our date(s) but I don't think I'm interested in pursuing this further."
I am willing to admit I have a lacking foundation when it comes to social skills, I didn't even try to date until I finished college, as such I don't fully know what is and is not acceptable behavior so while trying to figure it out naturally I look to others who are more 'normal'. Literally every interaction I had ended with me getting ghosted, so I actually thought that's what you were suppose to do, that people don't like, want, or respond well to specific messages about it not working or why or whatever. Until one person reached back out and explained that they felt hurt for getting ghosted I literally had no idea. I doubt my particular experience is too common, but who knows. Weird times man
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985 I feel that man, but the only way I know how to get better is to try l, fail, and learn. So I've done what book learning I can and now I'm trying to get more experiences while doing my best to limit any harm. If I'm just weird and awkward oh well as long as I'm not causing any real harm I think it's fine to keep trying. All we can do is our best and all that. I will say I've also considered trying therapy and talking with them about how weird I feel and how to address my lacking social skills but finances are limiting me there, which is why I'm trying to fix that situation first. Just makes me feel better to have a plan/goal to work towards even if it will take a while ya know? Get money Get healthy Get help Get Bitches /j XD
The only problem with "I don't date short people." is that it's seen as more acceptable than "I don't date black people.", even though it's literally the exact same thing with 1 word of difference. Can you change your height or your race? There's technically really abusive and borderline psychopathic fringe 'medical' operations and such you can do, but the answer is effectively no. It's obviously okay to have preferences for height, weight, race, gender+sex. (Combined because for the majority of the not-terminally online population, those words are interchangeable and they expect them to be the same in their prospective partners.)
I'm 26 and literally never had a girlfriend. I'm popular, I have tones of friends, good job, a post grad degree... but because all dating is now done on apps (Which I hate) it's so damn hard to connect with anyone in a romantic way. Also, tall ladies are great.
The problem with his friend prefering men that are taller then her is that she feels the need to tell them that she wont talk to them because theyre short. If you dont want to talk to a woman because shes fat you dont have to talk to her but you dont tell her. "I can't talk to you because you're too fat" just block them like a normal person lol
I don't like the "well, if you could do it, you'd do it too" defense. There is a looooot of wrong stuff people would do if they could do it with no consequence. The difference with the Katarina analogy is that A) it's a video game and not real life B) AFAIK lol allows mirror matches and C) even if they don't first pick is random. so it's not the same side betting the benefit every time
5ft 7 short king and was a 10+ year veteren on apps before meeting my wife (we met on tinder). What i will say is of you can get out od your normal location and date elsewhere absolutely do it. I. South carolina, i was a 3 or a 4. In nyc or cali, i was a 6 or 7. In thailand i was an 11 and i had some rad dates in holland. New perspectives, different people and novel values and approaches to dating are amazing and are worth pursuing. Love my wife and its easier to appreciate what you have when you know whats out there. Also, thanks to all the ladies who talked with me, gave me lessons and all that jazz. Grateful for all of ya (even the ones who left a few scars) and hope they all find happiness
@wtfareperfectplaces I'm a liberal jew with a beard and tattoos. Nyc Asian girls like what I bring to the table. Southern chick's, not at all. I'm a meat eater but I might as well be impossible meat at a southern cook out when I'm down there. Feel me?
@blinkx1070 I'm not in demand down south dude. I'm like a regional cuisine. Chickens feet are prized in some communities and gross in others. Gotta go to your market. Literally marketing 101. Location, location location.
So for context I'm gay so I dont really have this problem. But before I graduated my male friends all were on tinder. And one of my friends is like a very conventionally attractive hockey dude, and he would get like 10-30 matches every single day, and hooked up a shit ton from Tinder. But every single other male friend i have that wasn't a complete frat guy, dude bro, would literally go months without a single match. Despite them still being very cute guys, they were studying engineering at a prestigious college, they were mostly all pretty wealthy, and had great hygiene, and surprisingly good social skills.
It's ALL about appearance. If you've got that, all the other shit just doesn't matter. Women just aren't attracted to the pure appearance of many men. However, in real life, women become interested in men they don't find particularly attractive ALL THE TIME. People need to get the hell off the apps if they're not good looking - they're just hurting themselves. Instead, socialize and meet people in person. Infinitely better odds IRL imo
I have way too many experiences and friends who've had experiences where letting someone down results in people being really shitty in response. If they're not angry, they usually respond in desperation and both are really rough and draining to deal with. There's very few people that respond to "sorry, you're cool, but you're not what i'm looking for" well. First dates are something that's casual. If that's where things stop, that's just how it goes
For people who don’t know this information they end up with anxiety, depression and thinking they are the ugliest person on Earth. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone has taken their lives because of these apps.
Dating apps made me realise I don’t have many good photos of myself. You can be a good looking guy but if you don’t know how to take good photos you’ll be left behind which can really hurt your self-esteem
More reasons why most men are at disadvantage at dating apps. We don't wear make up, use filter, and take 100 selfie a day. I also like to be comfortable, I don't wear suits 24/7. I was taking a picture with a girl I was one time and she had to take the phone off my hand because it looks lame, but holy crap when she takes the picture it's already look way better lol.
Literally, all of my pictures are selfies because my friends don't take pictures of each other and then send them to each other, so if I need a picture of myself I have to do it myself.
Yeah, imagine being okay with traumatizing girls and ruining their idea of an entire sex just because you think that's your best chance to smash since you have 0 charisma. It's like those guys don't even actually like women or care about their feelings while blaming them for the male loneliness epidemic.
Nah I understand the height thing. Women, imagine 50% of your interactions on Tinder started with "How much do you weigh?" That's what men on Tinder are going through. "But it's just my preference!" Sure, so is weight for men. Doesn't make you less of an asshole for asking about it.
the thing about weight is that its a lot more visible in a person's pictures so there would be no point in asking. I am fairly certain bigger women get less matches than other women on the platform.
@-Sai People are natrually self conscious about both. People will always avoid using pictures that are not the "standard socitial normative attractiveness" or what ever you want to call it. If you're balding you wear hats. If you're short you don't have pictures of you far away from the camera, if you have crooked teeth you wont smile wide, etc, etc. Unfortunately, everyone does it, it's a sad fact that both M/F are EXTREEMLY quick to judge because there's such a plethora of options, if you're even a LITTLE BIT off kilter then your odds drop hard and fast. And frankly the sad truth is that it's just way harder for guys to get matches and there's PLENTY of solid studies on that. Guys tend to be less picky and that's because there's way less risk to a man using a dating app than a girl. Hence women get far and away more matches regusrdless of where they would land on some social norms. What i mean to say is If you were to assume there's a hypothetical scale of some X factor that makes someone more likely to be picked. It would be like the top 25% of men get 75% of the matches and success rates, while the graph for the women would have more like the top 60% getting 75% match rate. Of course those numbers are absolutely not the real ones but it just helps to visualize in your head what I'm trying to say. A girl that is in the bottom 15% of weight will certainly recieve less matches, but they will get leagues more matches than a guy who's in the bottom 15% of height. So it's fair to say that the original comments metaphor is still pretty valid.
Difference between preference and requirement is very important. Men who like big tits exists. Also guys who like small ones. Guys taste has more variety. But for 99% of normal guys if the girl is a good girl. For girls it is tall tall tall , with a large majority of women who consider just being under average is a not negociable deal breaker. That's where the problem is.
Having a preference on physical attributes is fine, having a firm requirement is cringe. Also I feel like Tinder is pretty bad for men's mental health. I've never done well on dating apps but I always seem to get girls to ask me out or give out their number IRL. Kind of sucks for guys that are socially isolated. No way to get out there
I am 6'2, but I still got pretty much no real matches until I started doing TikTok and I put in my bio that I am passionate about being a big TikTok creator one day. I am now darting one of the women I et through the dating apps who thought my vides were hilarious. Men saying height and money is all that matters these days when it's not true. Women want to see the guy have an attractive personality, or they won't care unless he is very attractive.
I matched with maybe three girls in a two month span only went on a first date with one of them, and have been happily married to her for three years. I recognize, I am an incredibly fortunate statistical anomaly.
I just want to say, under the logic of "the meta has evolved for a logical reason", I don't think that "quickly getting to sexual comments" is a logical or reasonable response to "needing to stand out" but entirely a cultural one. If male dating culture has deemed sexual discourse to stand out more despite everyone doing it, then it's not standing out is it? The meta is defeating itself no matter how much easier it is to be crass than original. So it's not beating the problem it's supposed to solve, and therefore isn't reasonable but born of their own bias toward the response. It's just not a justifiable excuse in response to "men get sexual with me way too fast", it's just a lazy excuse.
When i was on dating apps. As a guy, its 100% just a number game. Swipe right on everything till your out of swipes. Then when you get a match, check to see if you like the match. If you dont, unmatch/ghost. Its shitty, but its the fastest way to meeting people who find you attractive
i dont think women complain about having too many choices lol. the complaint (atleast what is outlined in this video) is that since men have so much competition theyre more likely to do outlandish things (like be overtly sexual) in order to stand out, since they would get ignored otherwise. but you have the comfort in knowing there are lots of normal and respectful men out there and that you can eventually find someone good, which isn't the case for men, who have to settle for whoever they can find because options are so limited.
I sorta gave up on dating apps around covid starting and maybe others did as well; which could contribute to peoples opinions of them changing from 3-5 years ago.
ghosting is complicated (from my female pov at least). if you're breaking up with someone, they deserve the respect of you saying it to their face, plus you have a good idea of how they'll respond. If you've only been on one date, you don't even know that person well enough to be sure they won't become insanely aggressive or even violent. it's the easy way out sure, but its also the safe way out.
sooooo often i ahve just closed tinder/bumble then forgot that there was a person there for 4 days and now its like shit do i go back and apologize for ghosting or just move on to the next 4 message convo where all that is really said is "cool hair"
Dude I tried to use tinder and got 0 opposite sex matches or interaction, but when I go on Grindr I feel like I’m famous or something. A lot of the time, the guys who send dick pics as a first message turn out to be normal ass people, that’s just how it is on the app. Certainly gets my attention though. 💀
meow guy here, i responded back 'bark bark' and she actually replied but she ended up unmatching me as i didn't respond for a few days because i didn't know what to say 😭😭
I love how immedietly after this guy saw the stats of the tinder dude the first thought that came into his mind is incel. Social engineering and programming everyone. Thats what it is
you're the average Hight dude... idk if you're joking but this is also a huge problem dudes that are 5'6-5'9 being treated and acting like they are short when they are not and im seeing it more and more every few years.
If I find a women who has physical traits I dont want, I try anyway cause she might be a nice person and my preferance mynot matter. If I tell her to her face that Id prefer someone who looks different, Im an ass. Thats at least how I think it is
ive matched with a few pretty attractive girls My problem is, i dont want to date a girl who; smokes, vapes, does drugs, get shit faced drunk a lot, has kids, is trans A LOT of chicks smoke weed, and i dont want date a girl who does that I apparently have high standards A girl recently matched with me asking me "Do you have any coke" i dont think she was talking about the pop tbh
I think the way the woman says she prefers guys taller than 6" 1' matters a lot. Putting "Anyone under 6 foot, swipe left" or making fun of every guy under 6 foot is just shitty behavior. Saying "I'm 5" 10' and would prefer a guy who is taller than me" is totally reasonable.
The apps would probably work better if they didn’t have the monetization that allows for unlimited swipes, that’s one of the better things about Hinge, you only get around 15 likes so you have to be more selective(although Hinge also has a premium mode that also had unlimited likes)
3 day method: Rule #1 - get them off the app, get an actual number Rule #2 - wait 3 days Rule #3 - ask to get a bite to eat or coffee Rule #4 - wait 3 days to text them if they don't text you first. Repeat Rule #3 / #4 until dating officially
If you're suggesting wait 3 days to text after getting the number that's never worked for me. It's a fast way to lose girls who were actually interested. I'm flirting and teasing over text, but also ending every interaction and trying to setup the date the same week. Gotta keep them engaged. Back in the day you could take gaps of time but a hot girl will move on because they're getting overwhelmed with other dudes who are interacting with them.
Dating apps are weird, most men won't see success with them and most women will have significantly more matches but the thing is the ones they match with will expect them to put out and if your a taller women some dudes just hella insecure about that dating apps don't really work unless you meet specific criteria for straight dating. Grindr is 100% just trading pictures and seeing about meeting up, OkCupid I live in Canada I more consistently get matched with Americans which is annoying because it's not like I can just hop over to the states for a date and the Canadians I do match with are in cities hours away it's to a point I've just given up on using apps and trying to date because the people in my town typically already have a kid before 19 and I personally do not want to take care of a kid at 21 or be in a relationship with someone who does when i'm this young
of the two dates i got using dating apps over two years one was a social engineering scam and the other was an onlyfans model who just wanted free things.
I'm very successful on tinder and bumble and I don't hook up so I basically end up being a free dinner for a lot of women who are just messing around with no intent on actually sticking around. Pretty women don't go on dating apps unless they're having fun
Being aromantic and knowing I'll never have to deal with dating apps is so nice sometimes. But on the other hand, the part at 9:35 is really true, and knowing I'm most likely going to be exempt from both of the things that makes you feel part of society etc kinda sucks ngl. I guess I'll just have to go on my joker arc or something
@@sankeethganeswaran3024 Idk, you can't really prove a negative so it can be difficult to "know", you just kinda have to decide to associate yourself with it. But I can give you my story as an example. Warning, not well structured rambling incoming: I realized I didn't really have any interest of romantic relationships after dating someone. While I've always thought that being in a relationship would be nice I never really tried to get into one so it wasn't until I was 25 that I ended up in one. The person I was dating was someone I found attractive and enjoyed hanging out with, so it should have worked out great on paper. But I never felt like I really understood what being in a romantic relationship actually entailed so I just kinda went with the flow. After a couple of months I realized I felt stressed out and like I always had to force myself to be a good bf, so after thinking about it for a bit I decided that what I wanted wasn't a partner but just a close friend to casually hang out with every now and then. I broke up with her and even if it sometimes feels a bit lonely to know I'll probably be spending all my life without a close partner it's not something I've ever regretted. Also still great friends with my ex so that's nice as well. Don't see being aromantic as some strict set of standards to qualify for, but more like a way to loosely describe yourself. If you ever feel like you're not aromantic you can stop associating with it and that's that. It's also worth to mention that even as someone who considers themselves aromantic I still get crushes on others, relatively often even. It's just that they never last for long and are easy to ignore. So being aromantic doesn't mean you never feel anything related to romantic feelings, just that you don't have any interest on acting on them. Sorry for the unorganized answer, in bed and typing this on my phone so it's hard to format in a good way and a bother to rewrite parts. At the end of the day everyone's experiences are different, so just go with whatever feels right.
I back before I met my Ex my go to strat was just swipe right on every account for like an hour whilst I watch TV or something then look at what matches I got. I will say surprisingly very few women will have anything in their bio at all or just "ask me" which I have to assume means u just want dudes to come at u sexually and thats not my vibe so those were auto skips. The few women who werent bots and had something in their bio I then tried to send a funny message to. Or atleast for awhile I did eventually I just sent the same message to all of them that was basically the same thing just a funny one liner I cant even remember now. Now being single I gotta say theres alot of things I enjoy and really what I want is someone I can do the deed with on a regular basis and from time to time cuddle and watch a show or something but ultimately I live alone and have no inherent responsibility or have to actively care for the well being of another person lmao. I dont know if I can give up sleeping across the bed sideways and being able to be selfish without guilt. If I do change my mind and get back into dating Ive got to find someone who doesnt go out bar hopping at fucking 3AM. I cannot deal with another Extrovert.
He's right about the grindr thing. I'm a bi guy who tried it and I deleted it same day. It's insane how straightforward guys are compared to women. I even had this one Trans person threaten me because I wasnt willing to meet up lmfao. So now I stick to women. I like that women atleast want to get to know you a bit on a human level before trying to sleep with you.
Naw guys are more mad about the double standard about girls getting mad at guys for not liking fat chicks or ugly girls and than turn around and do exactly what they are getting upset at people for “body shaming”
Atrioc this is my perspective, it honestly feels like all too much work to support a failing system and I’m more hopeful that I can learn and adapt to live alone and be prepared to fulfill myself. Maybe it’s because I’m stubborn but I’m just tired of attempting to approach this as a rational male and swiftly realizing I’m set up to fail. Maybe things will change in the future but I’m no longer hopeful.
I found the best way to deal with dating is to not ever touch a dating app Open marketplaces of flesh and a treadmill of unchecked desires Not the most appealing of things
I’ve been on tinder and hinge for a couple of months now. I would say I’m in the top 10% of people who get matches on there. I genuinely try to have a conversation and get to know them a little before asking them on a date. I have had ZERO dates in the past 4 months. I am so confused.
I don't think dating apps try to keep you single, but they are optemizing for user interaction which is probably working against people actually finding a partner. So in a way I think dating apps are worse for long term relationships than social first platforms.
You put it into words perfectly. So many guys will develop resentment towards women for being dry on dating apps or whatever acting like women are evil but they don’t realize that they’d probably do that same thing if the roles were reversed and they had such an abundance of options
Honestly, I didn’t give dating apps that much of a shot, but from everything I’ve heard they sound terrible. I think that meeting people in real life is way better, you actually see them and can know what they’re like, and it’s much easier to be interesting when it’s not all text and the cold impersonal apps.
