The Psychology of Judging People and How to Cultivate a Kind Mind 

Now there are layers to this because you can make an internal attribution, like saying a man abused someone because he is abusive, but make an external attribution about how he became abusive. So he abused because he’s abusive but he’s abusive because he was abused. And it’s an interesting note here that if you embrace the philosophical position of determinism-that there is no true volition-and you’re going to be consistent with it, you are committed to making external attributions for literally all human behavior. Determinists believe there is no internal locus of control and thus leaves no room for judging a person.

So true! I have noticed that the more we accept ourselves, the less we judge others...

We spend too much time worrying about other people and why they look the way they look or dress the way they dress or why they don't talk very much why they are the way they are etc. etc. STOP IT! It is okay if we're not all the same. We aren't supposed to be. Focus on other things going on in the world and things that we can change. If someone doesn't talk to you or say hi or smile so what. Let them go their own way. And continue on with your own life. Maybe that person has things going on in their lives that don't have anything to do with you or me. Maybe they just don't know how to socialize but they really want to. And if they don't want to that is okay it is their choice as long as it has no effect on you then why should you care anyway. Hatred doesn't help anything and it only makes us look bad. And when we judge others in a lot of cases we are only hurting ourselves because in some cases that person could have been a really good friend or someone who could have helped us in some way. It is about acceptance. We sometimes expect everything to be perfect in an imperfect world and it doesn't work that way it never has and it never will there will always be differences remember that there is a balance to everything in life and you can't have one thing without the complete opposite where there are extroverts there will be introverts where there is hot there is cold where there is black there will be white where there is light there will be darkness and so on and so forth. Live and let live.

You are superior to no one , you are infirior to no one ...

I never judge a person negatively I always judge others with positive thoughts

Kindness is what makes the world go around.....

True ❤Judging others has no power in the long run who is anyone to judge another human ! We’re all one body !

I can't express how free i feel after this video. Just one video to realise how poisoning is one habit. ❤

I truly like the video. You emphasized the difference between judgement and assessment in an understandable simple way

We must judge actions but not other's motives.

I think the only time I judge anyone is when I find out they've been judging me in some way.

I have observed a person over the course of my entire life and particularly her treatment of me over the last 10 years, since my divorce. I know that growing up she was more interested in being Superior to others and always being the coolest and having the coolest and the best and winning. The last time I went for coffee with her, 8 years ago, I determined that I didn't actually like her that much, because she is status oriented and materialistic, and didn't really want to be friends with her, even though she's almost like a relative. Then last Christmas she did not wish me happy holidays, nor send me a card, and then at my birthday in April she neglected me all together as well. She usually sends me a belated birthday wish by email. That didn't even come this year. She always says how busy she is, and how important everything else is in her life. I ascertained over the last eight years of her not having enough time for me, even once telling me she did not have time for my drama, that she's a snob, and that she thinks she is superior to me and that she does not value having a relationship with me. So I told her I didn't want to stay in touch anymore. I don't regret cutting her loose, but then I lost my aunt as well, her mother, who I did nothing to, but considers my slight of her daughter to be a slight of herself. My aunt insists that I apologize to her her saying she was a snob. She says I don't know her and I can't say that. But from my point of view she comes across as exactly that. My aunt says i a mean cruel and spiteful and is disgusted by me now. She says her daughter got to where she is through hard work, and that my lower station in life is my own fault. I do not think those things of myself. I was setting a boundary about how people are allowed to treat me, because I do have self-respect. My aunt lives a life of privilege. She has wealth yet never worked a day in her life. So how can she say? How can she say I haven't tried hard enough and that's why my marriage failed and that's why I don't have a career. It's not that simple. I started out at a disadvantage, and it's no longer appropriate for her daughter and I to pretend we are real sisters. She will always be more successful than I, and I will always be more sensitive and empathetic than she.

Wishing you smiles through it all.

Thanks ,I needed this .. I was SOO judgmental and bitter . Meditation brought this to my attention ..

We all judge

This is amazing video! I am trying to be less judgmental and at the same time not to get upset by the judgements of other people and this information was very helpful! Thank you so much! 🙏💖💖💖

That's why I pity most psychiatrists and psychologists. Imagine living with the judgmental DSM in your mind... Thank you for this awesome video. ❤️

You ase so calm ... listening to you take us to another zone ...

A Kumbaya mindset is a fantastic way to get taken advantage of and abused. Some people are bad, and they need not be tolerated.

External attributions could lead to external attributions, abusive, dug-abusing households, lead to abusive, drug-abusive people. But I grew up thinking that society is built on one thing. Respect. I still think that way, and even though it happen very quickly, if I judge someone, I do that to think what may be disrespectful, and attempt to avoid it. Great video, by the way, I enjoyed the presentation of these well researched assessments.

Really important, high quality content. Thank you

Great explanation Nick! My assessment of this video is very positive. :D

I have an acquaintance whe kept a dozen ducks in her garden. Because of foxes (UK) she only let them out under her supervision. One day she needed to go quickly to the shops and decided to take a chance leaving the ducks unsupervised. When she returned 20 minutes later all 12 ducks were dead with their heads eaten. There is no point expecting foxes to be anything other than foxes. It is all they know and are capable of. There is a difference in assessing something without judging that it ought to have been different. So supervise and take care of your ducks,, do what you need to do, but don't blame the fox for being a fox - it is not the fox that feels that judgement..

thank you for teaching me this :)

Perfectly stated. Wonderful video ♥️

Thank you for this video !

4:38-4:51 was so powerful wow. Thank you for the insight ❤️

(FACTS OVA FEELINGS) The Person who is Able to Open Themselves Completely to the Whrild is the Person who is Bravest Many wud Call tha Person a Fool but Shift Ur Perspective and it Becombs Clear tha the Fool is in Fact the Person who Cut Themselves Off from the Whrild and from Loving Freely for They Cannot Sea tha They r Killing Themselves in tha Atmosphere of Their Own Constriction

This explanation is outstanding!

Thank you!

Short and nice video, Nick! I am wondering, to what extent cognitive perception affects someone's motivation?

1 million dollar opening line .

I have to do this, but for myself. Being too nice to others is being too judgemental on yourself.

Wow! Thank you.

People start sticking their noses in the lives of other people when they are unhappy in their own life (jmho). I wish everybody a happy and wonderful life 🙏

this is great!! keep making more.

So what do we do if someone steals? We dont judge it?

Greatly explained, the outro song sounds like ‘starshopping’ by lil peep !!!! 😂

yeah but its like automatic as soon as i look a stranger and talk to them I try to tell myself okay wait until they talk at least a little before deciding to connect or not. Its just annoying usually I look at their eyes and if they look evil I automatically think thats a person that could come with negativity against me, because it seems like whenever someone with negative eyes has had contact with me theres a bad outcome.

Great content!

Judging peoples behaviour can be helpful sometimes but judging the person is not a good idea. People are not their behaviours Understanding /compassion is preferable this does not mean you but up with unacceptable behaviour🙏🏼💚✌️🌎🌱🧘‍♂️

That was good!

I don't see why people hate judgement. Everybody has the right to express opinions AND CRITICISM AGAINST SOMEONE they dislike in Public And that's the definition of judgement. It is very much essential for checks and balances in human society and it's ethics. We need people to judge every other people.

I think social media attributes to people being judgmental too…

Thanks for the video Sir! Greetings form Indonesia! ❤

You have to judge repetitive patterns

It's called "forgiveness."

I can't stop i feel hopless.

i just saw a video of a child and she had a growth deformity on her ear and her mouth was crooked thats all i could see and being brutally honest all i could do is feel disgusted at what i saw. i don’t like feeling this way and i know its not how i should feel which is why i want to correct my way of thinking. what do you do when a sight is unpleasant. i grew up in a house where nothing i did mattered and being treated that was has made me so critical of others i seek perfection and if its not perfect in my eyes i have a strong aversion to whatever it is sometimes i don’t. i do practice tolerance and acceptance but sometimes i can’t help finding someone just undesirable to look at and sometimes it shows on my face and i feel bad

Wee live in a while where judgement in general especially certain judgement r seen az bad and wrong to have in the first place therefore wee r bad and wrong if wee have the judgement only this does not change the fact that everyone has judgement it just cause I'd to deny that wee have any alternatively wee mat real-eye the judgement but spend oll if hOUR time trying to argue hOURSELVES out of that judgement wee resist hOUR own judgement to no avail

I have a question. Is it considered judgmental (and maybe even prejudiced) to immediately assume the person around you who acts weird, silly, or unfiltered must have ASD? See, whenever someone make a bad impression on me, and I think they're immature or obnoxious or odd, I immediately assume "must have ASD." Is that wrong? And you know...superficial and stupid?

You must dicern healthy from unhealthy relationships; lest you suffer

so it's kind of like how I was the quiet guy growing up and most people used to crack jokes about how I was going to shoot up the school. When I was actually just trying to get through class so that I could go home and play videogames.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. Wow even though he doesn't mention scripture from the bible but it's amazing how the scripture teaches these same principles from thousands of years ago. Bible is still relevant even in our current culture although some do not want to admit it. And Jesus Christ explained to us do not judge unless you be judge in the same manner. You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Clearly if we stop jumping to conclusions of each individual it will do us well to have compassion for everyone to seek understanding so we can help our brothers and sisters get better. No matter where they are in their life be it for anything. You don't know. Not being naive but discerning what the truth is after gathering all the facts. And in all we do, do it with love.

3:57

Judging people for small faults. Not proud of it. ❤

I plead the blood of Yeshua over you, right here right now, wherever you are. God, send your Holy Spirit on the one who writes this, and on the ones who read this... Give them peace and joy and bliss and health and wealth and love. Repent and allow Abba to hold you in His arms. Cry to Him about your pain, He loves you. He won't mind. He'll show you a way out. God bless you. NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST MY FAMILY SHALL PROSPER I AM RIGHT HERE EXACTLY WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE

Absolutely disagree. I freed myself once I admitted I was judgmental and embraced it. In fact, I used to judge others on being judgmental. No one likes being judged. But this is something no one can get out of. Once I started embracing my judgments about other people, I became more authentic, less anxious about phony people pleasing behavior and shock, people find me more likeable because I'm not being phony! So, when a guy walks past covered in piercings, I can say to myself or my friend, "That person has made some bad decisions." I can feel that he's going to hurt his chances in life for other opportunities rather than saying, "I'm sure he's a wonderful creative person! and golly gee he's pretty cool" when he might not be. You'd be lying to yourself if you said, "Well he's going to do better in life than someone who has no piercings." Stop lying people and making up positive stories about people you don't know.

Only God can judge me

but arent you judging the judgemental

You cannot be both Catholic and a psychologist they are black and white opposites the psychology of today has many many heresies that would excommunicate you from the church. Judging is one of them. In Psychology you don't judge but in the Catholic faith you do. Catholic authored scriptures and Saints we are called to judge and make judgments !!! It is Satan who doesn't want us to judge. Catholic writings of 1 (Corinthians 14: 23-24) So if the whole church meets in one place and everyone speaks in tongues and then uninstructed people or Believers shall come in will they not say that you are out of your minds but if everyone is prophesizing and an unbeliever or uninstructed person should come in he will be convinced by everyone and judged by everyone. Proverbs 31: 8-9 Open your your mouth for the dumb.decree that which is just, and do justice to the needy and poor. Catholic writings of St Luke 12:57 Why do you not judge for yourselves what is right. Catholic faith (pre- fulfilled) writings of proverbs 18:5 It is not good to accept the person of the wicked, to decline from the truth of judgment. Catholic faith (pre- fulfilled) Writings of Ezekiel 3:18 If, when I say to the wicked, you shall surely die: And you declare it not to him, nor speak to him, that he may be converted from his Wicked Ways, and live: The same Wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but I will require his blood on your hands !!! Catholic faith (pre- fulfilled) Writings of Ezekiel 3:19 But if you give warning (Judgment) to the wicked, and he be not converted from his wickedness, and from his evil way: he indeed shall die in his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) Writings of Ezekiel 3:20 Moreover if the just man shall turn away from his Justice, and shall commit inequity: I will lay a stumbling block before him, and he shall die, because you have not given him warning (judgment): He shall die in his sin, and his justices which he has done, shall not be remembered: but I will require his blood at your hands !!! Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) Writings of Ezekiel 3:21 But if you warned (judge) the just man, that the just may not sin, and he does not sin: living He Shall Live, because you have warned (judge) him, then you have delivered your soul !!! Catholic writings of 2 Thessalonians 2:11 All may be judged who have not believed the truth. Catholic faith (pre-fulfilled) Writings of Daniel 13:49 Return to judgment for they have borne false witness against her. Catholic Writings of 1 Timothy 5:20 Then that Sin, reprove, before all: That the rest also may have fear. Pope St Felix III 483 to 492 not to oppose (judge) error is to approve it; and not to defend truth is to suppress it; and indeed to neglect to confound evil men, when we can do it, is no less a sin than to encourage them to sin. Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) Writings of Ecclesiasticus 11:7 Before you inquire, blame no man, and when you have, inquired, reprove (judge) justly. St Vincent de Paul died 1660 True Christian Prudence makes us - judge - things as Jesus Christ - judged - them and to speak and act as he did. Pope Pius the 9th 1846 to 1878 our Lord has clearly commanded us to regard (judge) as heathens those who will not hear the church. Pope Alexander VII, 1655 to1667 It is hereby condemned as error that, although it is clearly established that a man is a heretic, you are not bound to, denounce, him, should you be unable to prove it. Saint Irenaeus of Lyons died 202 Judge those who Forge schisms and who look to their own Advantage rather than to the unity of the church. Judge as well those who are outside the bounds of Truth namely those who are outside the Catholic Church. Pope Pius VI, 1775 to 1799, "Inscrutable" paragraph 8, December 25th, 1775. Forcefully and Carefully banished poisonous books from the eyes of your flock, and at once courageously set apart those who have been infected, to prevent them from harming the rest. The holy Pope Leo used to say, We can rule those entrusted to us only by pursuing with Zeal for the Lord's faith those who destroy and those who are destroyed and by cutting them off from sound Minds with the utmost severity to prevent the plague from spreading !!! Catholic writings of St Luke 12:57 Do you not judge that which is just even for yourselves. Why then do you not judge for yourselves what is right. Catholic writings of one Corinthians 6:2 Do you not know that we shall judge angels, how much more the things of this world. Catholic writings of St Matthew 7:16 "By their fruits, you will know them." You must be able to judge their fruits !!! Saint John Chrysostom doctor of the church died 407 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged (St Luke 6:37) What does this mean ? Are we not to denounce those who sin ? Why, then, does Paul say: Reprove, Entreat, Rebuke, (2 Saint Timothy 4:2), and Reprove before everyone those who sin. (1 St Timothy 5:20) ? Christ also said to Peter: Rebuke him, and if he will not obey, tell the church. (St Matthew 18:15-17). Why then did he give his Apostles the power of the keys for if they are not to judge they are without Authority and in vain have they received the power of binding and loosening besides if this were the case everything in the churches and cities and homes would come to an end and unless we correct our enemies we shall never put an end to their enmity and everything would be turned upside down. Therefore let us take care to study the meaning of what is said here so that no one may think that the remedies of our Salvation are laws of disorder and confusion. For our Lord has made as clear as possible to those who have understanding the Perfection of this law, saying: First cast The Beam out of your own eye (St Luke 6:42) you see, he does not forbid us to judge, but commands us first to remove the beam from our own eyes and only then correct The Faults of others. Catholic writings of 2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season, Reprove and entreat, rebuke, in all patience and doctrine. Catholic writing of St Matthew 18:15 But If thy brother shall offend against you, go, and rebuke him between you and him alone. If he shall hear you, you shall gain a brother. Catholic writings of Titus 2:15 These things speak, and exhort and Rebuke with all authority. That no man despise you. Catholic writings of one Thessalonians 5:14 And we beseech you, brethren, Rebuke the unquiet, Comfort the feeble-minded, support the week, be patient toward all men. Catholic writings the Apocalypse 3:19 such as I love, I rebuke and chastise. Be zealous therefore and do penance. Catholic writings of St Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourself, If thy brother sin against you, Reprove (judge) him: and if he do penance forgive him. Catholic writings of Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather we Reprove them. Catholic writings of 2 Corinthians 6:16 All scripture, inspired of God, is profitable to teach, to reprove, to correct, to instruct In justice. Catholic writings of St Jude 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to, Reprove, all the ungodly for all the works of their ungodliness, whereby they have done ungodly, and of all the hard things which ungodly Sinners have spoken against God. Catholic writings of Acts of the Apostles 20:31 Therefore watch, keeping in memory, that for 3 years I see not, with tears to admonish (judge) every one of you day and night !!! Catholic writings of Romans 15:14 you also are replenished with all knowledge so that you are able to admonish one another. Catholic writings of one Corinthians 4:14 I write not these things to confound you; but I admired you as my dearest children. Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) writings of Leviticus 19:17 you shall not hate your brother in your heart, but Reprove him openly lest you incur sin through him. Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) Writings of Psalm 140:5 The just shall correct me in Mercy and shall we prove me !!! Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) Writings of Ecclesiasticus 19:13 Reprove a friend less he may not have understood. Catholic faith (pre fulfillment) Writings of Ecclesiasticus 19:14 Reprove your neighbor, for maybe he has not said it, and if he has said it; that he may not say it again. Catholic faith (pre-fulfillment) Writings of Proverbs 24:24-25 they that say to the Wicked Man: You are Just: shall be cursed by the people, and the tribes shall abhor them. Remember God has already revealed his judgment to us. To say that one cannot be sure or "cannot judge" if all who die as non-catholics go to hell is simply to reject God's judgment as possibly untrue, which is heresy and blasphemy and pride of the worst kind !!! It is to Sinfully judge as possibly worthy of Heaven Those whom God has explicitly revealed he will not save !!! To put it simply, to say that one cannot judge, that all who die as non-catholics go to hell when God has revealed this, is to judge, in the most grievously sinful way !!! in a way directly contrary to God's revealed truth and revealed judgment it is the cast judgment upon God.

Kindness is what makes the world go around.....