The Secret of Mulan - Phelous 

not really a high bar there, since you got one movie that's about bugs that's lazily made and you got another that was made the way it is because they're trying to please their Chinese overlords for that stupid global box office.

@@ZackExplorer28 And the funniest part is they managed to make it so offensive to the Chinese that the movie was banned there, it was a mega shitshow xD

@@megamage911 yeah the remake was a waste of my precious life and time mind you not. I'm not going to explain how bad the remake is but clynicalreviews reviews it. his profile picture is a dog btw cuz idk if I spelt his channel correctly.

@@AWasteOfYourTime8205 Oh do not worry, I watched his video on it months ago haha xD Been watching him for quite a while.

@@megamage911 yeah he's an awesome dude 😎

True

I would be having my gay ship-addicted ass get to that, but is anyone really in the market for representation from GoodTimes?

I mean, it would be hilarious if she fell in love with her "Male" persona only to find out it was a girl this whole time and...that maybe that doesnt change her feelings in the long run.

Gotta love that good ol' fashioned heteronormavity, lol. Mulan ended up with pretty dragonfly girl in the end. I accept nothing else, haha. 😁

Gotta love how the bootleg keeps the bisexual moods LOL

Hit two Birds with one stone.

I'm not sure if someone would be really so stupid to mistake it for "A Bug's Life" if "Mulan"'s in the title.

@@TommyDeonauthsArchives that stone's secret is that it had wings, and that's why it cold hit two birds

@@fermintenava5911 The Secret of Mulan is a ripoff crossover of both Mulan and A Bug's Life because why not ripoff both Disney and Pixar

@@TemmiePlays either that or goodtimes had aimbot turned on.

Also, Mulan had more chemistry with Shing Shing than with that guy, he barely even spoke to her and she just reveals she's a girl and they kiss. What? If this were made recently it would have ended with Mulan X Shing Shing being a thing.

"Hyu-yuck!"

@@cintronproductions9430 I totally ship it though. XD

@@cintronproductions9430 I ship it.

@@cintronproductions9430 Given how Shing Shing just gives up on saving her after barely making an effort I question if that relationship's really preferable.

Nah, shing give Up to Chase. Mulan

Trust me, UAV would never do something like that.

Why don't you write a fanfiction?

I ship it

@@allisonelizabeth6596 ANY fanfiction would probably have better writing than the canon lol

I don't know whether to wtf over the ridiculous shoe-horned anthropomorphic bug people, the 'baby's first story' level of a plot, the utterly nonsensical world logic, the atrocious line delivery, or the vapid stupidity of everything. Every time I think these movies can't get any dumber, they get dumber.

Talk was out killing two birds with one stone

Kids in 1998: “I wanna go see Mulan and A Bug’s Life!” Mom: “We have those at home.” Mulan and A Bug’s Life at home:

They KO'd two Rock types with one Surf.

You're right. Both came out around the same time. I wouldn't be surprised if they were planning a normal Mulan ripoff but added aditional limbs, wings and mandibles to the character designs to turn them into bugs before production began.

Phelan reviewing Young Pocahontas can't come soon enough.

Which John Smith are you talking about, the Pocahontas figure or the Doctor's go to alias?

@@avremirine8986 Pocahontas. It was a running gag in one of Phelous's other videos.

Thanks for correcting me.

In that case, it seems that every single character in this clusterfuck-except possibly Mulan herself-must have just gone for a swim right before the movie started.

@Simple Weirdo yeah if anything, they would become so useless that they end up become very useful either that or the entire that they live on explodes and everyone that lives there dies.

Maybe they're tortoises? They don't seem to have trademark turtle adaptations, like webbed feet.

Teenage Mutant HYEEEEEEEEEE-nja Turtles

Speaking of useless.... 4:10

This was before China solved their bug problem.

EH!🤣

Such a great NEW WAY

I have to agree there.

Did they want to make a lesbian Mulan/Shing Shing relationship but chickened out at the last minute?

Glad I wasn't the only one who saw it.

YEEEEESSSSSSS.

@@scottgaultney This was all I was thinking all the way through not gonna lie

How did you comment on this 2 weeks before the posting date?

ImaNerdANDaGeek Early access on Patreon.

yeah, while the other UAV ones look like they'd at least be watchable or work as background noise, this feels like it would be almost painful to actually sit through

You might be onto something there...

Oh... How I miss the likes of Russian Cobra Commander and Beardy Gaston...

hmmm...if this was made today, this would've been perfect for the Woke culture.

@@ZackExplorer28 ) wasn't the original that already?

@@steamboatwill3.367 no, that would be the remake.

@@ZackExplorer28 ) whatever, anyone who says the "w" word as an insult, unironically, is just a dipstick......

He was an average fighter, but a brilliant leader.

It was my fav movie as a kid 😭😭😭

Also part of the animation degree, we learnt script writing and storyboarding/telling. This whole script reads like one of our first year's drafts before they learnt what a three act structure was. That, and how to write a compelling main character.

I don't say any of this to sound pompous. I apologise if it comes off like that. It's just these are such basic things you learn in the field, I don't understand how they got through.

They just wanted to cash in this quickly. The poor animators probably didn't even have enough time to make a coherent plot because of the deadlines. Also, don't apologize, it's actually pretty interesting to see all the things that animators have to learn to get the shows we love out there into the public

Bugs are harder to animate? Is It because of the extra limbs?

@@flyingstonemon3564 no its just bc they're icky disgusting and gross to look at so the production team has to take a lot of breaks

...please tell me she doesn’t mean _with_ her father. you never know with some folk tales

@@rassilontdavros3004 she meant in death they can be father and daughter.. Also mulan's mom was remarried when mulan can home after the war

@@rassilontdavros3004 seriously?🙄

Yes and my research on the Titanic can’t recall a rapping dog on board. Pretty sure the dog was not on board.

@@calamaty9963 The rapping dog was actually on the Olympic. Those animators didn't do their research.

@@foxymetroid NO, that's fictional!!! The dog was actually on the HMHS Britannic for morale support... tragically, the dog was present on the day it sunk

You're right: you're not a historian

I'm pretty sure Mulan is fictional, not a real person.

The UAV version of Mulan is a bug.

concept could have been waaaaay better if a different and greater story, but media sucks along with that company who made this

Low-key drama what's your favorite cartoon character?

Producers were afraid that young girls wouldn't have found Mulan's story as inspiring if they knew she was a bug, because as we all know, girls don't find bugs inspiring.

I'm going to need to hear about the other child-friendly starship troopers remakes you know about. It's for a friend.

I'm gonna need to hear more about the bug menace and the 300,000 mobile infantry troopers that we lost on Klendathu.

sadly no Darkseid or Lex Luthor voice overs as military leaders this time

Yeah calleld Roughnecks DO YOU GET IT. WE GET YOU SIR.

And I’m sure the kids would NOT like to know more.

I’m convinced that the secret of series is in their own universe where stupid stuff like this exists

Right?! Angels can't TALK!

Paphvul angels being able to talk is not a stupid thing, just read mythology, Satan himself is an angel in the book of Job.

The Secret of Cinematic Universe!

@@alsatusmd1A13 Pretty sure Paphvul was joking, bruh.

I know this has been done to death, but “it seems the bugs’ courage is completely useless now!”

All the ants that were beheaded during the insect wars became ghosts doomed to wander the earth. And now you know where Goombas come from.

I can't unsee that now.

The bad guy is discount Shao Khan, but with a cheesy fangstache.

Yeah I thought the same as well 🤣

Uh-yuck! Shing Shing shouldn't count as a soldier, cuz she's an empress/princess. Right?

I heard Homer at 5:35

the holy parchment says so

they did worse enough besides copying antz and quest for camelot while making a batman and robin joke in a scene to counter a two headed dragon's SUPERMAN scene.

@@fenrir-art4742 A Batman & Robin joke? It wouldn't suprise me of the upcoming remake of Mulan was just as bad. Now if they used this knock-off a basis and made all the characters insects...!

Mulan and Shing Shing are my OTP of this movie.

in a different movie, yes. this one...um not worth it XD

Indeed

@Angus Ng that’s contradicting

And Mulan 2...

I've noticed these Disney-knockoff companies just LOVE to rip off Jafar...even if it isn't for an "Aladdin" knock-off.

That's how we know he's a traitor, duh

Fun fact: Jafar's job in Aladdin was Vizier which literally translates to "He who plots to overthrow you."

Hunchback still seems less stupid, oddly.

Except one of them was slightly less stupid. I'll let you decide which one.

"the secret of the ooze" the secret is that it was actually Red Bull and it gave people wings.

"The Secret of Shredder" The secret is that he's Cobra Commander's more superior brother. And Murky Dismal is their cousin, 420 times removed.

I thought it was that they hate Splinter.

I thought that as well that she might have some point in their army. Still it would be better to stick to the story and have her be a guy as it just makes Mulans whole point of dressing up pointless. Though the more I think about it mabye she was afraid that she would be turned away from fighting if she wasn't dressed up, like how back then women served other roles and were forbidden to go on the front lines.

What's weird is why the male butterflies have the female patterns.

See this is why the Mulan story would be a really good LGBT story. Whether it's interpreting Mulan enjoying being a man, making Shang bi, or stories in which Mulan has female friend or befriends a princess.

@@carsfan1995 reminds me of when I saw someone say that Mulan for Disney was a feminist movie long before Brave and Frozen were made. Iirc she not only manages to win the war against the Mongolians(I think they won because of her idea) , but at the end when she reveals herself everyone including the emperor bows in respect for her.

Why wouldn't they just hire another guy in that case? Logic 100 movie.

She's not a cricket. How's a butterfly on the hearth a symbol of good luck?

"You're an insect? PLEASE COME IN TO LIVE WITH US! I MAKE TOYS!"

I'd pay good money to see that.

That would make for a much better mockbuster than the one we got...

Pyumaman - there I fixed it for you. XD

Guys, it's the Pew-may-mun

Yep.

I didn't hate Secret of Anastasia, sure it was ridiculous having her family spiritually posses instruments, but the animation was at least had a better frame rate, they tried to give the characters personalities and actually had the romantic interests spend time to build chemistry, it wasn't great, but it was better than this and we have seen with Dingo Pictures there is no lower limit on quality on cash in films. Also Anastasia had a great singing voice.

@@ImaNerdANDaGeek True. Also, The Secret of Anastasia was so insane that it was funny again.

Secret of Anastasia is ironically watchable and at least made some sense despite there being very little sense in the movie to begin with.

Sadly... yes.

Wait everyone? Shit, at which point will we be forced to do so too, and how will it be enforced? Or do they plan to make a new Gargoyles series, I'm not sure about everyone else but I'll get Disney+ if they do that.

Thank whatever God you believe in.

*necessarily *definitely

Disney did worse than this and that remake is far boring than the 1960s musical Mulan and the Mulan 2009 movie.

"definanrly" is my new favorite non-word.

No, it is culturally, too. I'm not even remotely Asian and I was offended. Crimeny.

I can see that...

The secret was that she was a girl, even though "there was no point in her disguising herself as a boy."

There was a point to her disguising herself as a boy as that other girl was not a soldier in the army. She was just the messenger. Phelous was just wrong.

@@Emisop she's still working in the army, and they don't seem to mind her fighting so there really was no point.

Toi O'Kelly At least that godawful "music" doesn't play when you go into the basement of the "Mulan Dual Shock Edition"

At least the secrets in The Secret of the Hunchback and The Secret of Anastasia were genuine secrets even if the secret in The Secret of Anastasia wasn't kept very subtlely.

And we are all the middle piece.

(PTSD flashbacks intensify)

Please for the love of Go and all that is sacred... don't give animators an ideas for a children's version of The Human Centipede.

@@U014B *flashback of part 3 ....SHIVERS!*

So they even changed the meaning of the name Hua?! THE NAME OF THE CHARACTER HAS ALWAYS BEEN HUA MULAN! (Fa in the Disney version, but still!)

@@Tareltonlives They also claim that Mulan herself was named after the magnolia flower when, from what I can tell, the name actually means "wood orchid"

Tareltonlives hua actually does mean flower in chinese, her surname means flower

@@ricekrispy463 Ahhhh

Then wait, what's her birth name? I'M ASKING ABOUT THE BIRTH NAME OF AN INSECT WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY LIFE

Or get a wax.

Everyone in the comments really seems to ship these 2 for some reason, I get that they have more chemistry with each other than the prince, but it's not really all that romantic, or even just good banter (then again nothing in the movie is actually good), they just have more screen time together, that'sabout it.

@Simple Weirdo I guess, but it's also "the secret of Mulan" so it's kinda odd they'd care about anything at all in this film.

So um did the REAL Mulan turn out to be bisexual? Or is it just everyone wants to find something to latch onto in a crazy movie?🤣 although the latter part makes sense even if the dialogue isn’t interesting

@@gracekim25 I don't think she was that I know of, it's more this movie is so crazy stupid that I'll just take any grain of anything in it.

All I know is I want an Old Man version of Prince Of Egypt. Old Mayor is Moses & Old Man is Ramses. :P

Nah, he's a Jerusalem cricket that was RAISED by scarabs! ....I'll see myself out.

@@geoentronecromancer No relation to Cricket Crockett.

I mean, can Mulan’s dad even be called “able-bodied”? We don’t see much of him in this one, but in the Disney version the guy could barely walk!

@@rassilontdavros3004 I meannnn, someone wouldve had to been the cannon fodder

Rats actually, which given one of the characters is a rat may raise a red flag or two.

@@sapientcube9788 i mean, the rat is the first sign on the Chinese zodiac, but yeah

You're giving these guys way too much credit assuming there was any kind of thought going on during production...

@@sapientcube9788 Doesn't that mean Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles also are insensitive for making Splinter a rat? :v

@@HiperPivociarz no because Ninja is JAPANESE 😅

Whatever it was Mulan appeared in two different places. Pretty sure it was an animal error.

Honestly, of all the knock-off film lines that Phelan covers, this 'Secret of' one is probably the best by a long way. Of course, when your competition includes Dingo Pictures and Bevanfield, that's a low bar, but they do have some actual life and creativity to them and the insanity of their premises kind of adds to the charm.

Ancient China was messed up.

Classical Greek lit: So the hero dies tragically Classic Chinese lit: We should extend the story to add in more tragic deaths George RR Martin: I think you guys need to have more death, honestly.

CaptainMarvell92 Returns Ancient Everything was messed up.

Don't forget the incest.

EXCEPTUALLY, you mention that later in the video. Take that, me!

My best guess for the mice are Jerboas, their ears are the closest match

Good things come to those who wait

Me too

Same here ever since I watched _Musical Hell's_ review of it. :)

Me too!

Did you say Moses? Noooo! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Here’s a ‘secret’: Disney’s Mulan is as old as me😜

At least these bugs are smarter than the coward turtles

Heimlich from A Bug's Life EDIT: Wait no nevermind, I think he got wings by the end they were just really tiny...

I mean it makes sense naturally but I guess it is a cliche by design.

@@elsie8757 " we drew one of you dying because the teacher said it would be more dramatic! "

Ayyyyyyyy, awesome Bone reference!

Phony Bone is more likable than the mole dude

He is clearly a Chinese Shinobi Shaman

Not to mention "Mala" is Latin for "bad".

Taking cues from Shao Kahn probably, another baddie wearing Samurai armor

Both the fact that Khan is in his name and that he hangs out in a yurt would indicate that he’s meant to be Mongolian but the armour is definitely Japanese/Japanese-inspired

Listen, this is a movie where turtles and rabbits are the size of butterflies. If anyone on the creative team started talking about the accuracy of the armor, they were promptly kicked out for daring to contribute more than 10 seconds of thought and effort.

It's called not being on TGWTG anymore.

He isnt with them anymore. That's enough to drop ten years in an instant.

He's a bug

He trapped a part of his soul in the Wabuu dvd, a la Dorian Gray. It absorbs all of Phelous's sins. He will be forever young, as long as nobody destroys that dvd.

TGWTG?

Mantis is even a school of kung fu, and Mantises represent fearlessness in traditional Chinese poetry. Why are there not Mantis in this film? Butterflies on the other hand are symbols of love and happiness. How much better would this be if it was about a Butterfly dressing up as a mantis and learning to fight like a Mantis?

Because a mantis isn't pretty enough.

Because they can't pretend there's some secret if she's an insect that doesn't metamorphosize.

@@off-the-grounder568 Maybe because they can't incorporate a mantis-design into a human-like character. Or maybe because they don't know what mantis nymphs look like.

In Japanese folklore, the butterfly can be seen as a symbol of life and death. This is particularly true in the Kirby games where an orange butterfly has appeared in at least one cutscene in every game since Return to Dreamland. It even seems to act like a Grim Reaper like figure and fuses with bosses it seems to know are about to die or that their time is up. Morpho Knight is one of the fastest and strongest bosses in the series as he can do a lot of damage rather quickly if you don’t attack fast enough. And in Forgotten Land, the butterfly gives the player two of the hardest boss fights in the entire series as both require you to be able to dodge and counterattack with great speed and accuracy.

At least it's gonna be different from the animated one instead of a photocopy like Lion King 2019. Too bad there'll be no music nor Mushu.

@@Alejandroigarabide apperently the chinas dont like musicals and it was made for them

@@Alejandroigarabide No offense, but what you said sorta reflects the hypocritical way people bash on the remakes. You just called TLK 2019 a photocopy, but you're sad that Mulan 2020 won't have music or Mushu. Like, people complain if it's the same, but they still complain if it's different. What do people want then? XD

This cash-in is still better in comparison to that soulless remake.

@@cintronproductions9430 Reminds me of when people complain about the star wars sequels.

Well considering that they are Rabbits rats and mole/shrews running around I'd assumed that maybe that's what the third hole is for but, then again considering how well thought out this movie seems my theory seems unlikely.

Ugh... I avoided bootlegs for a long time. My friend rented a few just to make fun of them.

It's a knock-off, not a bootleg.

@@kimifw58 I know that. They're the same thing.

@@scottylewis8124 Knock-offs don't infringe copyright. Don't rob words of their meaning just because you're too lazy to distinguish them.

Kimi FW Not according to Disney lawyers its not. Plus considering it was released to cash in on the success of Disney’s Mulan as an attempt to confuse the consumers with an inferior copy, yeah its kind of a bootleg.

They were replaced by mutant drummer turtles.

Theponydalek what's your favorite my little pony FIM?

The biggest idiot of the episode is

Is a New Way

No turtles?! Then what are those turtle-like creatures in Mala Khan's army supposed to be, then?!

I ship it

When me and my bro watched it long ago, we noted it would've made more sense for Mulan to end up with Shing Shing than Prince What's-his-face. And yeah, I kind of ship it as well, they look cute together.

These aren't normal sized bugs apparently though are they? The more you pay attention instead of trying to find a pedantic thing to complain about graphic.

@@phelous I see no irony here.

Yup, pedantic RU-vid comments are the same things as my videos you got me.

It was done a lot better in Disney's Robin Hood.

In Narnia the talking horses get ridden into battle but are never ridden at other times. The reasoning is that it would normally be demeaning to treat them like ordinary horses, but battle is important enough to be an exception.