Rumpelstiltskin (Britannica) - Phelous 

the queen: *rattling off wierd names* rumplestiltskin: *furiously writing those down because they're good ideas for naming his stolen baby*

Phelous, do you believe in Wabuu? In Germany, people told the story of a crazed raccoon who went on an attempted murder spree. And when all the other animals were willing to forgive him, he gave them a cake full of sneezing powder.

There's a children's book called "Rumplestiltskin's Daughter" where the miller's daughter bails out on marrying the tyrant king and runs off with Rumplestiltskin instead and they have the titular daughter together. It's good.

Do you believe in Secrets? Like if my parents were turned into musical instruments? Or if I was really an Angel or that Quan Chi's first appearance was in Defenders of the Realm? Ok, you're clearly insane so never come near me please!

The Olaf story is the most realistic of all: a wealthy businessman screwing over a small-time contractor after they've done all the work for an important building project.

King Olaf would eventually be demoted to Count and die trying to steal three childrens inheritence.

This is honestly why Rumpelstiltskin's Daughter by Diane Stanley is a favorite of mine; the miller's daughter realizes from the get-go that the king is a Class A prick and marries Rumpelstiltskin instead, and then their daughter ends up tricking the king into being generous for once in his miserable life.

Floating Pat Morita in purple is perhaps the hero we don't deserve but the one we most want and need.

Truth be told, I was also bothered with how the miller’s daughter always married the king, in some versions, he even threatened her life all three times if she didn’t spin the straw into gold. Personally, if I were writing a version of this, I’d have her steal some gold before he came on the third day, pretend to be chill with marrying him, ask for a horse as a wedding gift and then book it out of the kingdom the night she gets the horse.

"If you thought the TROLL was mean and ugly..." ...I didn't??? We have literally been shown absolutely nothing that suggests the troll is even the slightest bit mean???

"Do you believe in secrets? I know what I know, boy, but I'm _not _*_telling it!_* "

The moral of the episode is: Once people know your name, you’re Completely Useless!

Rumplestilskin is actually Gollum who survived the battle against Sauron and changed his name

I was kind of expected the troll to fall on Olaf and kill him. It would made more sense as a comeuppance story.

There’s a children’s book where the miller’s daughter decides to escape with Rumplestiltskin and marry him. It was because he was actually a nice dude who promised he’d take good care of her firstborn child. Then the king tries to lock their daughter in a room so she’ll spin straw into gold. But she winds up outsmarting him and becomes the Prime Minister of the land

4:20 Apparently, the miller's daughter accomplished something the title character couldn't; she successfully kept her name a secret.

So Olaf was a king, who couldn't afford to pay "several months" worth of wages to a single worker, so he needed to cheat his way out of payment. Seems legit.

Wind And Weather's Son: Hello, my name is Victory Bear. You turned my father to stone; prepare to die. Saint Olaf: Victory Bear. Wind And Weather's Son: Oh shit. *turns to stone*

It’s nice that Britannica’s stories have a different animation style for each story even that the quality is quite varied throughout. Rumpelstiltskin’s characters have this carved look reminiscent of old wooden theater puppets with a distinct mouth part that opens and shuts in rolling fashion. Also that king’s demonic grin would’ve haunted me next night as a kid, so the animation still managed to retain that cautionary atmosphere as many old children stories tend to.

5:52 Yeah, it's a little fucked up that Rumpelstiltskin is considered the "villain" of this story when honestly NONE of the main characters are likeable or redeemable. The miller's daughter is arguably the best character only because she technically didn't have much of a choice to begin with, and was caught up in a mess of bullshit she didn't ask for. 9:03 I don't think it's ever been definitely stated what Rumpelstlitskin wanted her child for (but if my knowledge of fairy lore is any indication, probably nothing good)...however I do like to imagine that Rumpel just really wanted to be a dad.

“Do you believe in curses?” “Do you believe in magic?” “Do you believe in secrets?” “Do you believe in witches?” “Do you believe in true love?” “Do you believe in love at first sight?” Did Pat Morita predict Frozen or something?

Troll: I finished building the church you wanted. Olaf: Well done! (takes out gun)

Honestly, a better ending to Rumpelstiltskin would have been the daughter running off and marrying Britannica Rapunzel, at least they could've sympathized about being locked in a tower by idiots

In the original story, Rumpelstiltskin is a type of fairy, and in their lore you can control a fairy by knowing his true name.

weirdly, the Olaf story has several similarities to a Norse Myth, where a disguised Giant comes to build a wall against the giants for the Gods, asking price being the Sun, Moon, and hottest of the Goddesses. Loki convinces them that if they give the builder a really short time limit, his pride will make him do the task but then he'll obviously fail so they would risk nothing... then he nearly does complete the task in the time provided, so instead Loki disguises himself as a hot female horse, distracting the builder's horse from doing his job so he fails to complete the task, reveals himself to be a giant, tries to attack the gods, but then Thor shows up and kills the giant... then several months later, Loki shows back up with a young 9 legged horse which he presents to Odin.

It's crazy how unbelievable crappy "Saint" Olaf is in the second one. They didn't even try to make the troll evil other than being "ugly." He was just a dude working for what was promised with a wife and baby back home.

Jesus, the gold-obsessed king was creepy. Why did they do this? Yeah, sure he is the real villain of the story, but then why keeping the marriage and Rumpelstiltskin's demise and pretending that this is a happy ending. I've seen another cartoon of this story before and there they at least made the king into a better person and made Rumpelstiltskin more threatening. Still somewhat questionable, but at least they tried.

King Olaf would later get into an accident with a carriage carrying mysterious chemicals that would make his DNA bond with snow turning him into a living snowman.

"Do you believe in padding out the runtime with unnecessary questions?"🙄

When I heard “Saint Olaf,” I kept expecting a clip of Betty White.

"Do you believe in magic? Witches? Curses?" Fictional concepts that you actually need to believe in, makes sense. "Do you believe in true love? Love at first sight?" ...weird. At least they are concepts whose true existence one can debate on an intellectual level. "Do you believe in secrets?" Wait what?

Rumpelstiltskin looks like he stepped out of a Real Ghostbusters episode.

6:14 That face is legitimately terrifying. If I watched this as a kid, I'd probably have nightmares.

How could you not believe in secrets? Its not even a question. Do you believe someone knows something they haven't told you? Nah, everyone literally tells everyone else everything they know.

Do you believe in Phelous? The truth is, I don't know if i do

Olaf: I know your killphrase, Winds and Weather. Troll: I'm not a win- Olaf: Sticks and stones.

Pat Morita: Do you believe... Cher: *_IN LIFE AFTER LOVE_*

Pat Morita: "Do you believe in magic?" ...in a young girl's heart How the music can free her, whenever it starts And it's magic, if the music is groovy It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll

Phelan can turn any crappy cartoon into gold. ( Let's hope a greedy king doesn't read this..)

I mean the version I know ends with him screaming: The devil told you that! The devil told you that!, so he probably did go to hell.

I feel bad for Rumpelstiltskin. It’s, like, the most forgotten fairytale ever.

I actually had a book when i was younger that had a bunch of retellings of Rumplestiltskin, and one of them DID have the woman going off with Rumplestiltskin and they made up the "first born child" thing as a cover bc the king was awful and shitty and she and Rumplestiltskin fell in love. It was a very sweet short story

Pat Morita : Do you believe I agreed to Karate Kid 4? I sure as hell don't.

The real St Olaf seems to have spent most of his time fighting. He would probably have been insulted that anyone believed he wasn't capable of beating a troll without tricking it.

There's a story in Norse myth very similar to Saint Olaf's where a giant master-builder offers the gods to build a wall within a seemly impossible time limit in exchange for the Sun, the Moon, and the goddess Freya. Like Olaf, Odin tries to find a way to screw up the giant's progress so he doesn't need to pay the fee. But at least in that story, it's the giant's plan all along to shame Odin and take his wife. Saint Olaf here is just downright petty and evil.

So in these stories some entitled pricks get other people to do all the work and then screw them over by going back on their deals. I'd say there's a metaphor for real life somewhere in here but I'm not clever enough to make it.

"do you believe in awkward pauses where phelous stares into your soul? well if i told you...."

6:14 Jeez, are we sure the King and Rumplestiltskin aren't related?

Alternate ending: Rumpelstiltskin takes the baby and queen away from the castle as a twist on his demand and they have a family sitcom at his house in the woods

King David: "It's Winds And Weather!" Narrator woman: "And then god turned into stone, fell from the sky, and shattered into a million pieces!"

back when it was written magical creatures were seen as evil by default in the Christian world, basically demons. However today we don't automatically associate evil with magic so the king Olaf story comes of as a jerk tricking somebody to do his bidding and then killing him

I like to think the king is Goldfingers ancestor with his fixation on *GOLD*

6:15 Ah well, looks like we have to deal with King.EXE now!

Saint Olaf and the Troll, or "When the DM lets players take "Always Chaotic Evil" for granted".

I laughed way too hard at Pat Morita’s head just float in on screen. Thank you so much Phelous. Never knew I needed that visual.

The change in Rumpelstilzchen's voice right before his death reminds me of Bill Cipher, and particularly his destruction.

I believe that Phelous is the best cure for forced quarantine depression.

I wonder if Britannica's Cinderella prince is just as or stupider than goodtimes Cinderella prince

Occasional weird animation aside, I think it's pretty cool how Britannica tells similar stories from all over the world. I've never heard most of the alternate versions.

I actually remember watching this in class in third grade, and the part where Rumpelstiltskin shattering at the end scarred the crap out of me as a kid. --- I recently got a book that contained a bunch of Celtic fairy tales, one of them called "The Clumsy Beauty and Her Aunts", which is essentially like Rumpelstiltskin, but with three magic aunts who help her instead. And it had a happier ending, where the three aunts came to the wedding and when the Queen (who had the "clumsy beauty" marry her son so she could get the beauty to spin shirts non-stop) asked the three aunts why they massive feet, nose, and hips (because that's polite), they told her is was from all the spinning they do. And the prince was like, "Omg I don't want my new wife getting massive feet and nose from spinning all the time!", and so the girl was spared from having to spin for the rest of her life.

The intro is hilarious. I feel like Pat Morita should have had a question-off with Johnathan Frakes-that supercut was amazing

How do trolls get their names if saying their name turns them to stone? Why not just not give your troll son or daughter a name? It's not like it would be of any use to them.

“Another story where a parent gets their child in trouble” I actually did think of this. This actually happens twice in Rumpelstiltskin the miller tells the king his daughter can spin straw into gold and the king orders her to do it or she’ll be executed then the miller’s daughter promises her baby to Rumpelstiltskin and the baby is almost taken by him. Also Rapunzel’s father stole from the witch’s garden so the witch took her and locked her in the tower and Sleeping Beauty was cursed because her parents didn’t invite the evil fairy to her christening and Belle had to live with the beast because her father took the rose from the beast.

"Daniel-San. In order to get your first born back, You must sand the floor."

Victory bear is the older brother of Victory Interrupting Bear.

You’d think at some point the King would sit there and ask her to spin gold while he watched just to confirm or something.

Not gonna lie the animation on the first one, at least for the parts where rumplestiltskin was on screen was pretty cool in that gritty eighties kind of way.

"Do you believe in deep dark secrets that nobody knows? In Germany-" I'm going to have to stop you right there Pat Morita. I don't think we can get into whatever you're about to tell me without getting on a watch list somewhere.

We're more than 4 months into 2020 and there hasn't been one Dingo review! Phelous, this is not done. Start telling!

King Olaf 'sneaking' behind the troll reminds me of having max stealth in skyrim.

You know… the line "looks like a scrotum" gets thrown about quite a bit. But this Rumpelstiltskin REALLY embodies that line perfectly.

You would think having a common phrase like Wind and Weather as a name would have gotten the troll killed much sooner

Well, St. Olaf did start off as a viking so him wanting to kill somebody makes some sense. Maybe he was bored and just wanted an excuse to murder a troll. :\

Huh Olaf and the troll reminds me of the tale of Oden and the norse gods needing to build a wall. The only one guy willing to do it they didint want to pay and wanted free labor. Loki opened his big mouth trying to help and then was forced to trick the poor worker so they didint have to give up freya. For his thanks, Loki wound up pregnant by the workers stallion. And thats how sleipnir came to be.

Phelan's right on the characters being ugly in the first story, but I think the good animation makes up for it.

That intro though. The fact that you called yourself an, "idiot", makes it even more hilarious.

Not gonna lie, I actually really liked everything they had going in the that Rumpelstiltskin story. The eerie vibe and artstyle really worked.

Hearing Pat Morita talk about secrets made me think of the Secret Box in Spongebob.. I wish Pat Morita would have said it like "So, do you know secrets are the most secret-y secret of all of secret-dom and I am its sole witness?"

"And for his good deeds, he was made a saint." ...While he was still alive? That...that's not how sainthood works.

the animation of rumplestiltskin falling through the floor and it regenerating back is actually really badass

I really hope Phelous eventually reviews HBO's Happily Ever After Fairytales. After watching them again recently for nostalgia, I gotta say Rumpelstiltskin is probably one of the best episodes. They don't sugarcoat the fact that the king is basically a secondary villain and he even gets a bit of a character arc. Plus Rumpelstiltskin is legitimately terrifying, as he goes out of his way to explain why he wants the woman's jewelry even though he can make as much gold as he wants by himself: he likes taking things from people that have sentimental value and seeing them cry. And then when he's defeated, he gets so pissed off that it practically stops the video.

Never heard of saint Olav and the troll. rumpelstilskin is way more known in Norway,as far as I know. I guess they have to go super obscure if they want to find three variants of each story.

I might have gotten an odder adaptation but when I was a kid I had a book of rumpelstiltskin where when he stomps the ground he gets stuck and is torn apart because he was made of gingerbread. They line always confused me because it seemed to come out of nowhere. "for he was made of gingerbread instead of rumpeltstilt".

10:04 Miller's Daughter: "Is it Jabberwocky, or Eggs Benedict, or Oompa Loompa?" Me: "Or is it Taserface?"

Miller's Daughter: "You can have anything you want!" Rumpelstiltskin: "Anythiiiiing?" Miller's Daughter: "Oh, yes! Even my virginity!" Rumpelstiltskin: "..." Rumpelstiltskin: "Well, gee, I was gonna ask for your firstborn child, but under the circumstances..."

In some versions of the Rumpelstiltskin story, the miller's brag is that his daughter's straw-like blonde hair looks golden when the sun shines on it, and the king misunderstood him.

Rumplestiltskin: “And now you made me ruin my branch hat. It’s completely useless now.” Old Man: “HEEEEEEEEE”

Am I the only one who wanted Pat Morita to start saying stuff like, "Do you believe in The Karate Kid?", and "Do you believe in Wax on Wax off?"?

I think the lesson of Rumpelstiltskin is to make sure you always choose a secure password, and make sure to protect it rather than making up a little song about it.

To be fair, the troll was a pagan creature and the early church probably saw it a good thing Olaf planned to murder him...

Rumpelstilskin asking for small things in the beginning is the OG lootbox trap! But seriously, its an old trick to get people to pay a huge price by readying them up with cheap offers. Maybe what this story was supposed to warn children about?

I wondered why the girl just didn't just ditch the king for Rumpel, since he's such an ass. But apparently there's a version where the girl actually marries Rumpelstiltskin and has a daughter with him. It's called "Rumpelstiltskin's Daughter" by Diane Stanley. Totally getting it first chance I get!

Pat Morita was a pretty bad secret keeper if he didn't even believe in them.

“Olaf was no fool. He planned to trick the dragon into coming to fight him, and then trapping it in Dragonsreach!”

Phelous’ videos are a blessing aside from their tendency to literally make me laugh myself sick. I’m gonna go lie down

9:35 That's got to be the greatest frame of animation in the entire movie. O_o

"I'll let you go if you tell me the name of God." "It's Yahweh. Can I go now?"

Will Unnamed Woman’s “ooooOOOOooooo” surpass Old Man’s “HEEEEEEEEEEEEE”?

You don't have to be a good person to be a saint. In Olaf's case, it's because he converted to Christianity after living an immoral life, & two miracles (or what the church deems miracles) happened after his death

Watching this while trying to eat was a mistake. I lost it just from looking at your *face* in the *thumbnail* image. XDDD It's been far too long since we had a Phelous review of a crappy animated movie, and this came right when we needed one! Thank you so much for this review sir.